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10 Ways to Bounce Back If You Catch A Cheating Partner

July 23, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Getting cheated on sucks. It can cause so many confusing emotions. It can crush your world when you realize your partner is prone to cheat. However, no matter how bleak the situation may seem, you can bounce back from cheating stronger and better than ever.

Ten Ways to Recover After Discovering Your Partner Cheating

Here are ten ways to bounce back when you discovered your partner cheating.

1. Get a makeover.

One way to bounce back is to show your partner what they’re missing out on. Not only will a head-to-toe makeover accomplish this, but it will make you feel much better.

Get a new hair color and cut. Go shopping for a new, sexy outfit with new, sexy shoes. Don’t be modest with it! Go all out and get the most head-turning outfit (head-turning in a good way) you can find.

Get your makeup done by a professional makeup artist and don’t forget about a manicure and pedicure. By the time you’re done with your makeover, you’ll look and feel like a cover model and your partner will be regretting their infidelity.

2. Spend time with close friends.

After a partner cheats on you, it can make you feel alone. You may withdraw from people without even realizing you’re doing it. Even worse, dealing with the situation alone can make you feel worse.

A great way to remedy this feeling is by spending time with people who really care about you. It’s a great opportunity to plan a weekend getaway with you and people who will remind you of how amazing you are. Most importantly, they’ll help keep your mind off of your unfaithful partner so you aren’t wallowing in misery.

As a bonus, you’ll probably have loads of fun. Fun is always a great remedy for sadness.

3. Talk to a professional.

If you’re feeling really down about your partner stepping out on the relationship and you can’t think of any other way to shake it, you may need to seek professional counseling. Often talking to a stranger can be easier than talking to people you know.

Getting cheated on can often lead to a lot of confusing emotions. These emotions could affect you in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. Seeking professional counseling can help you keep yourself on track until you process the things that are going on with you.

If you feel embarrassed to talk to a counselor, try to understand that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plenty of people see counselors and it’s perfectly healthy and normal to need one when you’re going through heartbreak. Your sessions are also confidential, so you don’t even have to tell anyone you’re going.

4. Go to church or a spiritual gathering.

If you’re a spiritual or religious individual, and you find out your partner hasn’t been faithful to the relationship, a divine intervention could be in your near future. Turning to your faith can help you process what’s happened as well as get through it in one piece. In fact, you might come out of the other side better and more enlightened than ever.

There is a certain inner peace that can occur when you turn your troubles over to your faith. This can be further reinforced by worshiping with others who believe as you do. It’s almost like the combined worship multiplies your inner strength and helps you to get through the situation.

5. Fully process the emotions.

One big mistake that people make when processing trauma such as infidelity or a breakup is not processing their feelings. It can be natural to suppress what you’re feeling, especially if you don’t like being vulnerable around people. However, it’s important to realize that you’re human and that it’s okay to be vulnerable from time to time.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful is definitely one of those times.

Dealing with your emotions is the healthiest way to bounce back from a cheat. licensed psychotherapist Vanessa Marin says that it’s okay to have these awful emotions because it just makes sense, and at some point, you’ll realize that the infidelity wasn’t about you. That’s where you’ll start to bounce back.

While you’re feeling your emotions, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re feeling forgiving, forgive. Give yourself time to feel your emotions and process them. If you do that, you’ll bounce back faster than you can imagine.

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6. Deal with the situation immediately.

You may feel the exact opposite way of that statement like you absolutely don’t want to deal with it right now. However, that would be a mistake. The main reason is that you’re simply putting off the inevitable and suppressing the feelings that come with it and you just learned that doing that is bad.

The other reason you want to deal with it immediately is that you can’t bounce back from something you haven’t dealt with yet. The longer you put it off, the longer it will take to heal from it.

This can be even worse if you live with your partner. Passive aggression can start coming out of nowhere even if you’re not intending to behave that way. When this happens, you’re not bouncing back, you’re acting out, so deal with it as soon as possible.

7. Don’t be anyone’s doormat.

An unfaithful partner is bad enough, but when they make you feel powerless, insecure, or unworthy, it’s time to stand up for yourself. You can’t bounce back if your self-esteem is down the drain. Dealing with someone who makes you feel bad due to their horrible actions is not going to help your self-esteem.

When your partner steps out on the relationship, you may begin to feel like you need to “do something” differently to make them faithful. This is simply not true. You can’t control the actions of other people.

If they take advantage of that situation, and you allow it to continue, this is where you’ll begin to feel like a doormat. Nip this situation in the bud. Keep in mind that you cannot make someone be faithful no matter what you do.

Once you accept this, you’ll be able to regain your self-esteem and bounce back from the infidelity.

8. Have fun.

Finding out your partner isn’t faithful can come as such a shock that the pain cuts deep. One way to bounce back is to have fun. This might sound ridiculous – after all, how can you possibly have fun when you’re heartbroken?

The answer is to fake it until you make it. Even if you’re just going through the motions, do things that you would normally think of as fun. The key is to do them with friends (as suggested in tip number two).

When you’re doing fun activities with friends, eventually the fun will take over, even if only for a little while. Those little breaks in sadness can be enough to fuel you until you can make a complete comeback.

9. Move on from the cheating.

It can be awfully hard to trust your partner once you become aware of infidelity. In fact, many people never trust an unfaithful partner again. Despite the lack of trust, some people attempt to stay in the relationship.

It’s understandable that you may want to remain in the relationship. After all, you weren’t the one who cheated because you love your partner. Unfortunately, your partner doesn’t value you the way you value them.

It’s hard and can feel like your heart is being ripped into a million pieces but if there is no trust in the relationship, it will never work. In fact, there is scientific research to support saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. It’s time to let go of your cheating partner for your own well-being.

10. Date other people.

You don’t have to immediately jump into another relationship but going out on simple dates can help to take your mind off of your partner’s infidelity. Of course, you should only date other people if you’ve completely ended the relationship with your partner. Otherwise, dating other people can further damage the relationship.

Dating other people can also boost your confidence after it’s been shaken by a cheating partner. It will help remind you that you’re attractive, you have a great personality, and that you’re desirable. This will be especially true if you happen to click with one of your dates.

Besides making yourself feel great, once your partner sees you out there on the market, they’ll regret stepping out on you. That could bring you some satisfaction that can make it much easier to bounce back.

Final Thoughts on Bouncing After You Found Out Your Partner Was Cheating

You’ve put your all into a relationship, so it really blows when your partner steps out on you. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to be depressed. You don’t deserve that. You may not know what the next step is in your relationship, but one thing is certain – you may not make a great decision without a clear head. Take some time to bounce back from the blow so you feel good again. Once your confidence and self-esteem are back, you’ll be better equipped to handle the situation.

Therapist Reveals 10 Useful Methods Of Managing Anger

July 23, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Contrary to common belief, anger isn’t bad. It’s pretty normal and healthy. In controlled levels, anger can help you stand up for things you believe in or even manifest the most honest version of yourself. But how do you cope with anger? How do you express it, healthily?

Take a moment to reflect on your anger issues. Do you overreact when someone cuts you off in a banking line? Does your blood pressure spike whenever your kids go against your rules? Do you say things when angry that you later regret? Perhaps this is a piece for you.

Managing Anger is Easier With These Ten Hints

Uncontrolled anger can be detrimental to your relationships and health. Learning ways to manage your anger will help you be in control of the actions and things you do after that. The following as ten insightful tips to help you control your anger the right way.

1 – Recognize anger rising

We aren’t going to promise that you won’t be in a foul mood after trying out these tips when managing anger. While anger can be difficult to stop once it starts rising, detecting the feeling can be vital to controlling it. Identifying the anger feeling early allows you to redirect the emotions and thoughts to a more constructive place.

Anger triggers various physical reactions within the body. In the process, it produces adrenaline, a hormone responsible for preparing you to react in the response of conflict or danger. When angered, you may feel:

An increased heartbeat.
Clenched fists and grinding teeth.
Fast breathing.
Sweating and trembling.
Raising your voice.
Shaking.
Being defensive, snappy, and argumentative.

2 – Step back

In the moment where you realize your anger emotions bursting, you could buy some time to limit the anger response. Stepping back is an effective measure in managing anger. Consider taking a short walk to think about the situation and calming down.

You could also try counting to ten while focusing on bringing the emotions down. Sometimes, what you need is to talk to someone who wasn’t directly involved in the crisis or conflict that caused the angry reaction. You could approach a friend, family member, or even a counselor to express the thoughts triggering the anger vocally.

3 – Work out your anger triggers

According to statistics, there are many reasons behind your anger outbursts. Maybe it’s the stress that has been building up from a dysfunctional relationship back at home. Perhaps it’s because someone at work has been maltreating you.

Things like how people don’t respect your limits and boundaries are quick loopholes that could make you snap. You might want to reflect on your day and ask yourself why you have sudden unusual reactions towards a particular person or action. Other reasons, such as hormonal imbalances, life frustrations, and pressures, can easily cause mood swings.

If you take the time to pinpoint your anger outbursts’ main causes, you will have the upper hand in managing anger.

4 – Learn various anger management techniques

Anger can be highly destructive if not contained on time and in a subtle way. Managing anger can mean the difference between saving a relationship and completely destroying it. Certain tested anger management techniques have proven to distract or calm individuals for a considerable duration adequate to process thoughts constructively.

As earlier stated, every individual is different. You need to find something that works for you and calms you to a level you can think straight. Some of these useful anger management techniques include:

Taking deep and slow breaths.
Exercise and yoga.
Ease physical tension.
Meditation.
Build distractions.
Get adequate sleep.

5 – Identify solutions for the anger triggers

Many people make the mistake of focusing on things that made you mad instead of working on a solution to the anger triggers. After identifying what makes you snap, you could write down solutions for the problem. For instance, is your boss always screaming and yelling at you for absolutely no good reason? Does your child infuriate you every time you walk by his room, and it’s always messy? Here are some solutions.

You could talk to your boss and express your concerns about how they relay frustrations and messages. Close your child’s door to avoid coming across the very things that infuriate you. Always remind yourself that anger outbursts don’t work.

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6 – Find ways to manage your thoughts

Experts discourage focusing on angry thoughts believed to add fuel to your anger, often coined as cognitive thinking. Part of managing anger consists of holding positive perspectives on life. Reasoning like this, “I can’t stand it. This child will make me go nuts,” will only surge your frustrations.

Learn how to re-frame your thoughts and frustrations. Convert your reasoning to something like, “Raising kids is a process; mama said that.” You are likely to stay calmer if you focus on the facts without adding distorted exaggerations and catastrophic forecasts.

It might help if you developed a mantra to calm you and cut down the angry thoughts. With time, you will find that logic defeats anger even if it’s justified because it clouds judgment. Work on your mind through self-reflection to gain a more balanced perspective of life and watch it work wonders.

7 – Try therapy

In some extreme cases, anger turns you into a violent person, which isn’t healthy. Signs such as getting involved in physical confrontations, breaking objects, getting on the wrong side of the law, and physically assaulting a child or partner are clear indications you need to see a professional.

Some of these extreme anger outbursts may be signs of underlying mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, substance addiction, or borderline personality disorders. You may want to approach a professional to help you manage extreme anger issues. Your therapist will equip you with stress and anger management skills to control your anger and act accordingly.

A professional will also help you understand your anger triggers, where they emanate from, and eventually managing anger.

8 – Learn to control your anger during confrontations

In most cases, anger erupts when confronting others about events, problems, or grievances. How do you address your concerns while limiting the chances of triggering your anger eruption? You might want to learn how to converse and address these prickling concerns productively.

From your end, you may help prevent the escalation of the confrontation by avoiding words such as “always” or “never,” which often sparks more anger within a conversation or obstructs the other party from believing that a situation can change. Experts recommend letting go of grudges and resentment that make it hard to control anger building up. Learn how to cultivate positive vibes and humor to avoid sparking outrage. Avoid sarcastic and harsh humor at all costs.

Consider your timing. After a long day at the office, the last thing you want is arguing with your spouse over dishes. Be smart about how you approach arguments by not bringing up issues and talk times when the other party is in a foul mood. Look for perfect venues and times to talk about sensitive topics. Working towards compromise maturely and healthily encourages positive emotions among parties involved in the argument.

9 – Improve your communication skills

Anger tends to fuel under-thought reactions that fault you into jumping into conclusions in which a majority of these conclusions are widely inaccurate. If you find yourself in a heated conversation, tame your mind to slow down and keep your mouth closed. This response will help you think through your responses.

You’ve probably been there in a heated conversation where you let out something harsh that you can never take back. Pay attention to what the other person is saying before answering. Be compassionate and try to understand what prompts their anger.

Picture this; you are probably different from your partner in that you love your space and freedom while your spouse believes in more connection and closeness. If you approach the argument with anger, you may paint your partner as a jailer or choker around your neck, which isn’t true. Practice effective communication skills.

Relaying messages effectively will help your partner see life from your point of view. While it’s natural to get defensive when criticized, calm down, and listen before tackling. You could ask for some breathing space to think about the other party’s points and avoid escalating it into a disastrous one.

10 – Switch channels

Do you feel like the only thing that will make you feel better during an argument is punching your friend’s face? Don’t, that’s just the adrenaline talking. Instead, go home and channel these emotions to distractions in your normal routine.

Consider deep cleaning the bathroom, playing with the kids, or baking that cake you’ve always wanted. Distract your mind from doing the harmful and watch your body and brain calm down.

Final thoughts on managing anger

Some people choose to condone their anger outbursts and channel them in the wrong direction. While these behaviors might yield short-term results, the consequences are detrimental and deep-staining. Two or three words are enough to send a relationship to its grave.

Learn a few things from this piece about managing anger and emotions and choose a healthier way to handle arguments and hefty discussions. These insightful ways go a long way to building healthy relationships, mindsets, and peace. Try them today!

8 Signs You May Be a Hypochrondriac, According to Experts

July 22, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Hypochondria, also known as illness anxiety disorder, is an anxiety disorder that causes someone to obsess about their health. Any change or the slightest pain can make a hypochondriac think they’re getting sick or developing a disease. It can become so overwhelming that they experience physical symptoms, but these symptoms are typically a result of anxiety overdrive.

A hypochondria may fear for their life and struggle to leave home because they’re scared of illness. They become so convinced that something is wrong with them that they disrupt their lives, careers, and relationships. Their anxiety will disrupt the lives of those around them, too.

Hypochondria is a long-term mental health condition, but the severity fluctuates. When the person experiences high-stress levels in their lives, it’ll be worse than when things are going as smooth. Sometimes, the condition worsens with age.

If you or someone you know constantly complains about illness, injuries, and other health problems, it could be hypochondria. Frequently talking about health and worrying about developing conditions and diseases are sure signs. Experts have studied this condition and made it easier for us to understand.

What is a Hypochondriac?

The American Psychiatric Association recognizes hypochondriasis as an anxiety disorder. When a hypochondriac experiences uncomfortable health sensations, they tend to be fear-based rather than indicative of a real ailment.

Some psychiatrists diagnose hypochondriacs with somatic symptom disorder because the focus on their physical symptoms can disable them. Someone with this condition might experience pain, dizziness, constant worry, and other symptoms that cannot be linked to a medical condition.

Hypochondria causes a preoccupation with illness and assume everything means they have a medical problem. For example, if the person’s stomach rumbles, their mind will jump to cancer or Crohn’s disease rather than using the restroom or eating.

Eight Signs You May Be a Hypochondriac

Do you suspect that you are dealing with hypochondria? Know these eight hypochondriasis symptoms.

1. You Are Regularly Checking Yourself for Any Signs of Illness

People with hypochondria analyze their bodies for signs of injury or illness every day. Sometimes, their anxiety becomes so severe that they do body checks multiple times a day. Tiny bruises or lesions that most people overlook are identified and scrutinized right away for someone with hypochondria.

Their constant body checks force their mind to be more aware of subtle changes within their bodies. While this could be a good thing, it turns out to be all-consuming for those with hypochondria. Plus, they might become so convinced that something is wrong that they repeatedly ask for a doctor to check it.

Minor issues will cause them to spiral, and they will likely panic when they think something is amiss. They might even monitor their vitals at home, repeatedly checking even when everything is fine.

2. Making Frequent Visits to Your Doctor

If you’re a hypochondriac, you likely make many doctors visits. Even when your physician says you’re healthy, you continue to worry and continue going back. After a few visits, you might even find a new doctor to take a look at you.

When you fail to get a diagnosis, you continue looking for doctors until you find one to validate your concerns. This process can be lengthy and expensive as doctors continue to give tests and rule things out. Even with health insurance, you will still have out-of-pocket costs, and some diagnostic tests may not be covered.

If you don’t let go of the health worry even after a doctor says that you’re fine, you might have an anxiety disorder instead. Lacking trust in medical professionals won’t ease your anxiety, and you’ll continue looking for answers that aren’t there.

3. Always Talking About Their Health and Possible Illness

Constantly complaining to your family and friends about your health is a sign of hypochondria. Likewise, constant discussions about diseases and ailments are signs, too. Most people don’t want to talk about health problems all of the time, as it isn’t an enjoyable topic.

It indicates a toxic mindset, and your loved one could start to avoid you because of it. Your loved ones will try to be supportive at first, but they’ll eventually realize that they can’t help you. You might be looking for reassurance from them but turn it down when they offer it.

Even when you try not to talk about it, you will likely notice your conversations turn to health anyway. When you suffer from this anxiety disorder, you subconsciously look for ways to alleviate your fears.

4. You Are Not Convinced by Your Negative Medical Test

When you think something is wrong and see your doctor about it, you might not believe them when they say nothing is wrong. They’ll send you for diagnostic tests, and even when the results are negative, you aren’t convinced.

Being unconvinced with negative medical tests is what often leads to seeking a new doctor. When the next doctor discovers the same results, you might look for a third doctor. The process continues, and you will continue racking up bills for medical tests that all come back negative.

You might also push for further tests when you don’t get the results you expected. While getting a second opinion and advocating for your health is encouraged, hypochondriacs go too far.

5. Excessive Worrying About Minor Symptoms

Anytime you experience a minor symptom, you might think the cause is something serious. If this is the case, it could be that you are a hypochondriac. It will seem that nothing is minor, and every symptom results from a life-threatening but undiagnosed disease.

An occasional headache might make you anxious about a brain tumor, or muscle aches might make you think you’re suffering a stroke. Even if you don’t think specifically of tumors or strokes, you might overthink the situation and convince yourself that something is going on.

If your mind immediately going to the worst-case scenario, it could be a sign of underlying anxiety. Your body changes, and you will experience discomfort sometimes, but it doesn’t always mean that something serious is wrong.

6. Avoiding People and Places for fear of Getting an Illness

A sign of hypochondria is when you avoid people and places because you’re afraid to catch an illness. Researchers from the Harvard Medical School found that hypochondriac patients exhibit avoidant behaviors, resulting in a lower quality of life.

Sometimes, you might avoid places that remind you of illness. These places would include hospitals, locations where you’ve been sick, or where you have seen others be sick. Your obsession might become so severe that you can’t watch movies or shows that have sick people in them.

When when you feel fine, you’ll experience anxiety about future illnesses or injuries. Constantly being on alert and focusing on every sneeze isn’t a good sign. It could interfere with your daily life and relationships.

7. Excessively Researching the Internet for Possible Symptoms or Illness

If you find yourself searching the internet for your symptoms and possible causes, it’s a sign of hypochondria. You might search for minor symptoms and see it on a list for something more serious, and then that sends you into a panic. Then, you might start thinking that you have some of the other symptoms on the list, even if you hadn’t noticed them before.

This health obsession might turn into researching other medical conditions, too. If you start reading the symptoms of health issues you’ve never considered before, you convince yourself you have them. When you do this, you add more worry and anxiety to what you are already experiencing.

8. Stressing Too Much About Possible Illness Affecting Your Activities of Daily Living

One of the biggest signs that you might be a hypochondriac is allowing your health anxiety to interfere with your daily life. The fear and worry can become so consumed that it takes over their life. It can hinder your ability to work in a professional setting, function daily, and maintain fulfilling relationships.

Your hypochondria might prevent you from attending important events, leaving you with regret and your loved ones upset. You miss out on opportunities, and you watch everyone else experience life without you. Even when you realize you are missing out and still can’t convince yourself to do things, it’s a drastic sign of hypochondria.

Hypochondriac Treatment

Next let’s look at how to stop being a hypochondriac.

Counseling

Seeking professional therapy can help you overcome hypochondria. Talking to a therapist about your worries can help you work through them, and they can offer a new perspective.

Herbal Remedies

Some herbs can bring peace and calm to your body. Try using lavender, chamomile, or peppermint to alleviate your anxiety.

Meditation

Practicing meditation can help you be present at the moment as you engage in rhythmic breathing. You can meditate anywhere, as long as you have a quiet space, which can help you no matter where you are.

Eat a Healthy Diet

Proper nutrition can help heal your mind and body, making you feel better and giving you energy. Changing your eating habits can reduce anxiety, too.

Final Thoughts on Signs You May Be a Hypochondriac, According to an Expert

While there is no cure for hypochondria, you can manage your symptoms. If you think you are a hypochondriac, start making beneficial changes in your life. Talk to a medical professional to see what they advise, and get all of the help you can.

Once you can quiet your health fears and reduce anxiety, you can start to live your life again. Let go of the worry that consumes you and begin finding positive things to fill your life instead.

15 Symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder

July 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Depression is a common mental health concern that is often diagnosed in people between the ages of 15-45 years of age. Though, it has no boundaries as it can affect those young and old of all nationalities and genders. Having major depressive disorder is a persistent feeling of overwhelming sadness that controls your life.

Many people who are depressed lose interest in the things that they love to do. You may not be able to get out of bed to do the laundry, clean your house, or make dinner for your family. Going to work may be impossible, especially if you don’t even have the strength to shower or get dressed.

Since this is a severe mental health problem that can escalate, you must seek help. The wide variety of emotional and physical issues can bring you to the point of suicide. What most people don’t understand is that depression is not the blues.

Sure, anyone can feel blue and down when life isn’t going the way they hoped, but it’s not something that you can control. The blues go away, but depression needs help to relinquish its hold. Consequently, many people think that those who are depressed can snap out of it, but it’s not that easy.

Symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder

A depressive episode may occur just once in your life, or you can have a steady battle with it. You will learn to notice the signs and symptoms and be able to thwart the condition with natural remedies and counseling. Here are some of the most reported symptoms of depression:

1. Sadness and Hopelessness

2. Anger and irritability

3. Loss of interest in usual activities

4. Feelings of worthlessness

5. Concentration issues

6. Suicidal thoughts or attempts

7. Trouble remembering things

8. Unexplained pains and headaches

9. Anxiety and panic attacks

10. Restlessness

11. Weight fluctuations

12. Slowed movements or thoughts

13. Chronic fatigue

14. Sleep disturbances -sleeping too much or too little

15. General malaise

Pediatric Depression

While many assume that depression is a problem that is experienced by adults, many children also face this mental health issue. It’s estimated that more than 2.8 million teenagers from ages 12-17 have experienced at least one bout with major depressive disorder. Sadly, about five percent have an ongoing battle and suffer in silence.

The signs and symptoms of depression in children are often different and not as easy for adults to recognize. Here are some of the common signs of pediatric depression:

1. Frequent crying

2. Complaints of belly hurting or other body aches

3. Refusing to go to school

4. Withdrawn from friends and family

5. Socially isolating in bedroom

6. Poor self-image

7. Experimenting with drugs or alcohol

8. Extreme sensitivity

9. Eating problems – either too much or too little

10. Sleeping difficulties – too much or too little

11. Anxiety – can display as hyperactivity

12. Feeling misunderstood

13. Self-harm

14. Suicide ideation or attempts

15. Seeing or hearing things that don’t exist

Getting Help for Major Depressive Disorder

There is a significant stigma attached to mental health, so many people won’t reach out to a doctor for help. You must talk to someone, especially if you are having thoughts of suicide or engaging in self-harm. A doctor will conduct some tests and pull blood work to ensure that there is nothing organic going on that can be explained.

Depression can mimic or be a symptom of a significant illness. For instance, those with Lupus have body aches and pains that make them unable to get out of bed. So, the person who has Lupus may become depressed. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t need to be treated, but it means that there is an underlying condition fueling the pangs of your major depressive disorder.

Unlike traditional depression, major depressive disorder is a condition that has been around for a while, and it affects you most of the days of your life. After you’ve seen the doctor and determined that you are depressed, you must consider your treatment options.

Treatment Options for Major Depressive Disorder

Treatment options for depression are vast. The first course of action is antidepressant medications. These drugs are classified into different types, which are:

•Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors

•Serotonin- Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors

•Tricyclic

•Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors

The most prescribed are SSRI medications. These tend to have the least side effects and are more tolerated than the others. Sadly, more than 30 percent of the people who take these medications won’t find relief from their medicines.

Consequently, the doctor will want to add either an atypical or an antipsychotic medication to stimulate the antidepressants’ properties. The more pills you ingest, the more side-effects you are prone to have, and the harder it will be to come off these later.

Mental health medications and prescribing them for major depressive disorder is not cut and dry. Most can’t take a pill, and it all goes away. You will continuously need to be monitored and have your medications adjusted. Thankfully, you have other options that don’t come with the dependency or the scary side effects.

Natural Remedies for Major Depressive Disorder

You don’t need to double and triple up on medications to take care of your depression. Nature has provided some excellent options that are side effect free and good for you. Check out these seven natural ways to cure your chronic blues.

1. Switch to a Plant-Based Diet

This method is put first and foremost because you are what you eat. You were meant to ingest plants and vegetables of all varieties. Did you know that many people have cured significant illnesses, including depression, by merely removing meat, processed foods, and sugary substances from their life?

Nature has so many things that nourish the cells in your body, including those in your brain. Take, for instance, blueberries. One of the leading causes of depression is inflammation in the body. However, this sweet little delight has anthocyanins in them that fight inflammation.

Not to mention that they also boost serotonin levels and help fight specific depressive and anxiety conditions like PTSD. Now, imagine what a whole organic fruit salad can do for you?

2. Exercise

When you exercise, you release endorphins into your body. The vigorous movements make you feel amazing, but the chemicals surging through your body makes your brain feel good. Shockingly, a 20-minute workout can boost your brain chemicals enough as taking an antidepressant medication.

3. Fish Oil

There’s a considerable correlation between omega-3s and depression. Fish oil is a concentrated blend that has fantastic benefits as it’s packed with those omega-3s your body needs. It’s shown to reduce triglyceride levels, help you become heart-healthy, and assist with depression.

4. Probiotics

The gut-brain connection cannot be denied. When you take probiotics and get your digestive center on track, it helps your brain health too. Not only are people reporting having no depression, but they are also saying their anxiety goes away when they take probiotics.

5. Get Outside in Nature

Many of the people who complain of depression spend their days behind a desk and indoors. Many of these people are deficient in Vitamin D and not taking supplements. You don’t need to take an herb when you can go outside and let nature do her job.

Mother Nature provides ample doses of Vitamin D3 just by sitting outside for 20 minutes. Not only the sun helps but take a walk and ingest the clean air. Walk barefooted to feel the ground beneath your feet and help to ground you. Why do you think so many wellness camps and recovery centers focus on getting out in nature as part of their treatment plan?

6. Lavender

The natural anti-anxiety and antidepressant action of lavender cannot be denied. You can sprinkle it on your pillow at night, use it in a diffuser, or make a sachet. If you need an instant boost, why not sniff it right out of the bottle. Just make sure you’re using 100 percent essential oils, not a blend.

7. St. John’s Wart

St. John’s Wart is an herbal remedy that’s been used for decades. Many experts compare their abilities with that of the antidepressants Prozac. Though it takes some time to build up in your system, you will find that it’s an effective depression treatment.

Final Thoughts on Living with Major Depressive Disorder

Mental health is not an exact science. Even if you treat using herbals, you may need to change things up and around after your body becomes immune. Thankfully, there are many ways that you can fight your major depressive disorder and get back to living.

10 Ways to Use Lavender to Relieve Chronic Anxiety

July 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Since early humans discovered the healing properties of essential oils from herbs and plants, we have benefited from their discovery. Perhaps, one of the most precious essential oils comes from the stunning lavender plant, also known as Lavandula. Its iconic scent is used in everything from perfumes and toiletries to cleaning products.

Lavender: A Scent from the Past

Ancient cultures also touted Lavandula as a powerful medicine before microbes were even discovered. Modern scientific studies have shown that lavender is an impressive antiseptic, antifungal, antibacterial, and antimicrobial. Essential Lavandula oil has healing properties for cuts, scrapes, burns, and bruises.

Not only is this oil and excellent topical medicine, but its mesmerizing scent can naturally soothe panic and anxiety. It’s believed that the natural chemicals in Lavandula oil affect parts of the brain that controls well-being. It has also been shown in countless studies to induce sleep while it soothes frazzled nerves.

Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety or panic disorder? These common mental illnesses can be completely debilitating if left untreated. However, medical experts say that anxiety disorders are some of the most treatable of all mental illnesses.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a natural ally to pair with your medical and therapeutic treatment for anxiety? Lavandula is one of the best on the list of essential oils that many have reported helped reduce their symptoms. It’s worth discussing with your mental health professional.

How to Purchase & Store Essential Lavandula Oil

You can find pure Lavandula oil anywhere that sells essential oils. Be sure to purchase one that is 100 percent pure cold-pressed lavender, no fillers, or artificial ingredients. If you plan to dilute the oil to use on your skin, make sure that you purchase a brand that says food-safe quality.

Although Lavandula oil is a natural product, it’s not for everyone. Some people may have an allergic reaction to it if used topically or inhaled as aromatherapy. If you are allergic to Lavandula or notice any responses to your skin or breathing, discontinue use immediately and see your professional healthcare provider.

It’s easy to find quality essential oils in health food stores or online at a price that fits most any budget. While Lavandula oil has a long shelf life, you should replace it if you notice the scent is weak or musty. To preserve your essential oil, store it in a dark glass container with a tight-fitting lid.

Calming Anxiety & Panic with Lavender Oil

Are you considering using essential Lavandula oil to help ease your anxiety and panic? There are several ways you can enjoy its benefits. Here are ten creative ways to use Lavandula oil for anxiety issues:

1. Keep a Vial in Your Purse or Pocket

One of the worst characteristics of anxiety and panic is that you don’t know when it’s going to strike. You can be in a great mood all day and suddenly be enveloped in anxious feelings or a panic attack. How can you level your heightened emotions during this mental ambush?

Consider keeping a vial of pure lavender oil in your pocket or purse for whenever you need it. Before your anxiety gets out of control, open the vile, and inhale the soothing herbal scent. It can bring the calm you need when you are on the go.

2. Use a Diffuser

For a sense of peace and serenity throughout your home, many herbalists recommend diffusing essential oils with an electric diffuser. You might also consider a tea light diffuser that uses a small candle. Both use low heat to gradually warm the essential oil and water mixture.

As the mixture heats, the water vaporizes and carries the scent of the oil throughout your home. Diffusers and tea lights provide subtle aroma throughout your house or office. You can find them at a price for just about any budget, and they are available in most department stores and online.

3. Make an Oil-Infused Spray

Most air freshener sprays are loaded with chemicals and artificial scents that are potentially hazardous to you, your family, and your pets. Their exhilarating, overwhelming smells may make you feel more anxious rather than calm you. When you make homemade spray infused with essential oils like lavender, you control the ingredients.

Try these simple DIY spray to freshen your bed linen or the air in any room.

Ingredients:

·3 tablespoons vodka or witch hazel
·1 cup purified water
·25-30 drops of essential oil

Directions:

Mix ingredients in a spray bottle, seal, and shake well. Use your homemade herbal spray whenever you need to quell anxiety and relax or sleep.

4. Take a Bath

Do you want the peace and tranquility of a day spa without spending a fortune? Why not pamper yourself in a luxurious bubble bath at home? To set the mood, light candles, play some soothing music, and soak in a warm bath infused with homemade lavender bath salts.

Ingredients:

·1 cup Epsom salts
·20 drops of pure essential lavender oil
·1 small bunch dried Lavendula blossoms, optional

Directions:

In a small bowl, add salts, essential oil, and blossoms. Stir gently to combine and store in a sealed glass container. To use, add ¼ cup of salts to running bath water and soak your troubles away.

5. Make a Roll-On Vial

Ancient apothecaries blended essential oils, flowers, herbs, and spices to create the world’s first perfumes. Because pure essential oils can irritate your skin, herbalists always recommend that you dilute them with a neutral carrier oil first, like sweet almond oil. Lavandula oil is an ideal scent you can use in a DIY roll-on vial.

Ingredients:

·10 milliliter glass roll-on bottle
·Sweet almond oil
·10-20 drops Lavandula oil

Directions:

Use a small funnel to fill the glass bottle almost to the top. Add Lavandula oil, replace the roll-on lid, gently shake, and allow it to sit for about an hour. Gently rub the oil on your wrists as a perfume or when you are feeling anxious.

6. Homemade Lavandula Sachets

During the Victorian Era, ladies often sewed cute little pillows, called sachets, that were stuffed with aromatics. Sometimes, they would use dried herbs or their favorite essential oils. They used these sachets to add a sweet scent to their stored clothing or their bed linens.

Lavandula was often the essential oil of choice since it soothes anxious nerves and repels nasty bugs. Why not follow a venerable tradition and make a few Lavandula sachets for your house? They are easy to make and are the perfect gift for friends and loved ones.

Ingredients:

·Colorful fabric scraps
·Needle & coordinating thread
·Uncooked rice
·Essential Lavandula oil
·A few yards of narrow ribbon or twine

Directions:

Fold a rectangular piece of fabric inside out to create a little pouch. Sew around the sides, leaving the top open. Fill each sachet with rice and add 10-15 drops of essential oil, and tie tops with ribbon.

Hang your sachets in clothes closets, with linens, or place under your pillows for a restful night’s sleep. The gentle smell can ease anxiety and panic and give your clothes a refreshing scent. When the sachets no longer smell, replace rice, and add more oil.

7. Sugary Sweet Facial Scrub

Did you know that essential lavender oil is a natural antiseptic that’s good for your skin? Plus, the refreshing scent can calm your nerves. The sugar provides a gentle exfoliant that rubs away dead skin cells leaving your complexion glowing and rejuvenated.

Ingredients:

·1 cup sugar
·1/4 cup sweet almond oil
·10 – 20 drops Lavendula

Directions:

In a small bowl, mix ingredients until well combined and spoon into a sealed glass jar. To use, rub a generous amount of scrub on your forehead, cheeks, and chin, avoiding your eyes. Rinse with warm water and pat dry with a towel.

8. Soften Your Clothes

Do you want to soften your clothes naturally with a refreshing scent? Add 5-10 drops of essential Lavandula oil to a damp washcloth and place it into the dryer with your wet clothes. You’ll notice less static cling, and your clothes will smell heavenly.

9. Ease Symptoms of a Cold

Not being able to rest because of coughing and sneezing can raise your anxiety levels considerably. Keep a roll-on bottle of Lavandula oil close to your bedside at night, especially if you have a cold or allergy problems. Roll a little on the soles of your feet, under your nose, and under your chin for some welcome relief.

10. Reduce the Pain of Bug Bites & Stings

When you have problems with anxiety and panic, the last thing you want is to battle scratchy bug bites. If mosquitoes and other pests decide to leave a bite or sting, all you need is dab a little diluted Lavandula oil on the sores. It can calm the burning and itching and prevent infection, allowing you to calm your mind.

Learn the 15 ways Walking Meditation improves your mental and physical health.

Final Thoughts on Using Lavender to Fight Feelings of Anxiety and Stress

No wonder ancient people praised essential oils for their many benefits, like calming anxiety and panic. Its light perfume is instantly recognizable and can be mixed with complementary essential oils for unique blends. You’ll love the scent and will appreciate how it calms your nerves.

Therapist Reveals 10 Signs Your Crush Wants to Be Just Friends

July 21, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Unrequited love is one of the worst things to experience. Most relationships start as a friendship, but overtime there develops something special that grows and blossoms. However, how do you know if your crush is really into you, or are they forever going to look at you as a friend?

Attraction can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. While you may fall in love with someone, it doesn’t mean that they feel the same way about you in return. You give the relationship time, and you wait, and nothing happens. How do you know if you should hang on hoping for more or if you should give up?

Signs You’re Stuck in the “Friend Zone”

One of the hardest things for people to do is to remove their ego from the situation. It’s hard to accept that there’s nothing more than friendship between you and the one you’re crushing on.

Sometimes, people flirt around and tease you, but it’s not meant to be a sign that they want more. Some people are flirtatious by nature. If you’re not sure how he or she feels about you, then here are some signs that show they don’t want to be anything more than friends.

1. They Only Hang Out with You in Groups

When two people are crushing on each other, then they want to spend time alone. However, if one person is stuck in the friend zone, then they will want to hang with the group. If you suggest that the two of you hang out, do they automatically say they will call your other friends?

If they know that you have feelings for them, they may use the group as a shelter to keep from leading you on. It’s also possible that they don’t want to be alone because they are afraid you will misread the situation, and they want to be just friends.

2. There’s No Flirting

When there is sexual tension between two people, flirting comes naturally. When a couple is developing feelings, they flirt. If there are no comments or gestures that let you know that they are into you, then it’s a sign that they want to be just friends.

Keep in mind that some people flirt because they are looking for a one-night stand rather than a meaningful relationship. You want to make sure you don’t fall into these traps because you will not get what you want from the situation.

3. They Don’t Text or Call You

Are you continually sitting by the phone and waiting for a text or call to come through? Are you stalking them on social media to see if they’re on? If someone is into you, then they will find every reason possible to call or text you. It’s all about making that contact.

It’s much easier for most people to text than it is to make a call. There’s no awkward dead space, and you can say how you truly feel. If the only conversations you have with this person are face-to-face, then it’s a sign that they are not interested in more.

Here is how to spot a serial cheater before you fall in love.

4. There’s Always Physical Distance Between You

When you’re hanging out with your friends, do they stand close to you or far away? If you like someone, then you want to be by their side. There’s something magical about brushing up against them or making eye contact in a crowded room. These first glances and moves are the things that ignite passion.

Notice their body language when you’re in a group. Do they seem to be into your conversation or treat you like the others? It’s all foretelling about how they feel about you and if they want to be just friends or something more.

5. They Don’t Make Any Moves Towards You

Does he stare just a little too long? Does she stand a little too close to you? Are people starting to talk about you as a couple? Maybe these people see something that you don’t understand, or you are stuck in a rut of wishful thinking.

You need to make sure that their advances are pure, and they’re not just trying to hook up and move on. The last thing you need is for someone to play with your affections and want nothing more than to be friends.

6. They Introduce You as Their Friend to Others

When they introduce you to others, how to they classify you? Are you just friends, or do they add other adjectives like my “special” pal? How they categorize you means everything.

His or her friends may automatically think that you’re a couple if you stand too close. So they may feel the need to clarify the situation to others. If they introduce you as a friend to their parents or other relatives, then it’s a sign that there’s nothing more than friendship between you.

7. They Don’t React to Your Hints

If they aren’t moving fast enough for you, then try dropping a few hints. How do they react to your advances? Do they put up a wall and ignore what you’ve said or done, or do they flirt back?

When you put yourself and your feelings out there for this person to see, and they don’t do anything with them, then you know you’re stuck in the friend zone. Don’t waste your time or energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you or isn’t emotionally available.

Here are twenty signs that it’s time to call it quits on your relationship.

8. They Talk About Other Love Interests

It’s very hurtful when you have strong feelings for someone, and they talk to you about people they’re interested in dating. Now, keep in mind, they may be trying to see what your reaction is when they mention someone so that they can see if you have feelings for them.

The whole thing can be a test to see how you feel about them dating other people. On the other hand, most of the time, when someone is freely talking about other love interests with you, it’s because they don’t want to date you. They want to be just friends, and they are not trying to hurt you. They just want your opinion on their love life.

While it hurts as bad as getting your heart ripped out, you should give them an honest answer. It may not be in the cards for you two to be anything more than friends right now.

9. Your Gut Tells You It’s Not Going to Work Out

People were born with intuition, and women seem to have a distinct intuitive nature. You will often feel in your gut that it isn’t going to work out, yet you still pursue things. They say that the heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes you must get your heart and mind in alignment.

If this situation has been dragging on for a while and there’s still no advancements, then it’s probably best if you move on. In some rare instances, a person may be shy or have issues from trauma or abuse, but most of the time, it means that they have no romantic feelings.

10. They Tell You They Only Want to Be Friends

Some people can’t take a hint even if that person comes out and tells them that they want to be just friends. You may try to rationalize the conversation in your mind thinking they were just fishing to see how you felt. Don’t spill your heart to someone who isn’t interested in picking up the pieces once you’re done.

There are too many people out there that will love and appreciate all the great gifts that you have to offer them. You should know up front that they’re not interested in you so that you can move on promptly. Don’t waste too much of your precious time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you in the way that you want to be with them.

Final Thoughts on Knowing That You Will Always be Just Friends

Too many times, people get in a big hurry to find someone right now. What you should be focused on is finding the right one. When things come into perfect alignment, you won’t have to worry about whether they like you or not, as they will be open and honest.

You’re wasting your time on someone who may have given their heart to someone else and doesn’t have it to give to you. Sadly, they may be emotionally skewed from watching their parents and other relatives go through a divorce or other horrific breakups. They may be afraid to get into a committed relationship for fear of what could happen.

Then, there are those people who don’t want commitments. They like to have fun and hook up, but they don’t want any ties. Always trust your gut instincts. When it’s right, you won’t have all these questions about being just friends because you will know.

7 Ways to Handle When Your Partner is Less Affectionate Than You

July 21, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Love and affection go together. You can be caring and warm with your dog, your children, and your mate, but each type of love is different. Some might even argue that you can show affection without love, but you can’t love without genuine attachment.

When you are in a committed relationship, gentle, affectionate actions are just as necessary as sexual connections, and maybe even more so. One of the biggest complaints in marriages and partnerships is a genuine lack of affection.

How people show their love and affection depends on many variables. In general, women tend to be more touchy-feely than men. Perhaps, it’s because females in our country are socialized from birth to be the nurturing ones, and they are usually comfortable with showing their emotions. However, males are taught to be rough and tough and to keep their feelings hidden.

A person’s culture also plays a role in how they show love and affection towards others. In studies across the globe, people from the Mediterranean or Latin American countries tend to openly show their warmth with hugging and generous kisses on the hands and cheeks. However, many Northern European and Asian cultures are usually more reserved and frown on public displays of affection, and holding hands is about as far as they go.

People who have been in past abusive relationships often have trust issues. The same is found in individuals who were physically and sexually abused as children. All these variables factor into future relationships where lack of affection is a common problem.

Affectionate Love is A Basic Need

Psychologists have already identified affection as a basic human need, just as much as they need for food, clothing, shelter, and acceptance. The problem is that many couples have a difference of opinion on how to show and receive affection. For some people, hugging, cuddling, and holding hands come naturally, and others must be taught how to show they care appropriately.

Are you in a relationship that could use some more warmth? You may know that your partner loves you, but you need him to show you more often. Here are seven ways to deal with a mate who is less affectionate than you would like.

1. Tell Your Partner What You Want

One of the most common mistakes in a relationship is to assume your partner can read your mind. While love brings a couple together, efficient communication keeps them together. How often have you been frustrated with your lover’s lack-luster affection and just stewed over it instead of saying something to them about it?

Since you’ve entrusted your mate with your heart, he is your safe place. You can talk to him about anything and know that he will listen and understand. If you want more cuddling and gentle touches from him, then tell him what you want. Many people are raised in an unaffectionate home and must be lovingly told how to show their love.

Be caring but honest in your conversation and not accusatory. If you put your lover on the defense, he will probably shut down and won’t listen to you. Choose a time when you are both relaxed and in a reflective mood, and don’t broach the subject when you’re both stressed and tired. During an argument, it’s never a good time to discuss affection issues.

Although you want to talk candidly with your mate, try to stay neutral and don’t stir up emotion. Your goal is to express your needs so you can work on a solution together. You are asking for more affection, not begging, which would make you appear needy and controlling.

Let your partner know that while you’ve never doubted his love and devotion, you just need more from the relationship. Tell him that yes, you love your sexual relationship as much as he does, but affection goes beyond the bedroom.

Afterward, listen to what he has to say. Chances are he never knew how you felt and that you wanted things to be different. Rather than ask how he’s going to fix it, ask what you can do to take your relationship to a new level of love.

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2. Evaluate Your Attitudes about Love & Affection

If your notion of love and affection is based on the latest romance novel or your favorite soap opera, you’ll be sadly disappointed in any relationship in the real world. Realize that these are fictional characters that have few similarities with real life.

You’re bound to start a fight if you compare your lover to the ones you see on tv or in your books. After you’ve both had a long day at work, he probably won’t rush into the living room, ready to recreate a soap opera scene. You want unique love and affection from your sweetheart, not fake idealism from Hollywood.

3. Set the Stage

If displays of affection are forced, then neither partner benefits. If your lover isn’t used to being affectionate, the first few tries maybe a little awkward. To be more comfortable with showing his love naturally, try to create as many opportunities for it as possible.

For example, keep a warm, cozy blanket folded on your love seat in the living room. As soon as you sit together to watch a good movie, it will be natural for your mate to cuddle up with you in the blanket. Don’t be afraid to be the first to reach for his hand while you are strolling through the mall or sitting on a park bench.

Do you like for him to bring you unique little gifts just to say he loves you? Leave subtle hints about your favorite perfume or other things you adore. How can he surprise you with an evening of dinner and dancing if he doesn’t know your favorite restaurant?

4. Be Encouraging Every Step of the Way

Did he bring you a lovely bouquet and it wasn’t even your birthday or anniversary? Tell him how much you love and appreciate his loving gesture, and he’s apt to do more. Some men may be tigers in the bedroom, but they are like shy and awkward schoolboys when it comes to showing affection.

Smile warmly when he takes your hand to hold while you walk together in public. Let him know that you love it when he gives you a surprise kiss or a loving embrace. Be the example and return his affection, so he knows he’s doing it right.

As a loving mentor, do the things for your sweetheart that you would like him to do for you, as the Golden Rule of Affection. Whisper romantic words, reach for his hand to hold and do extraordinary things for him out of the blue. He can get the hint and start cultivating his affections.

A letter to the one who loves me…

5. Be Patient and Understanding

People cannot just look into the past and change their upbringing. Just as it took time for you to get to know each other and fall in love, learning to be more affectionate won’t happen overnight. The process may try your patience, but it will be worth the wait.

If your lover held your hand and cuddled with you yesterday and seems a little distant today, don’t be discouraged. Instead of getting frustrated, consider telling him that you loved the time you spent together previously. Your gentle reminders and encouragement can make all the difference.

6. Learn to be Playful Together

When was the last time you had fun together? There’s much more to a fulfilling relationship than intimacy. Playful affection flames the fire of romance and keeps the relationship fresh and alive. Are you or your mate ticklish? What could be more enjoyable than a few little tickles and giggles?

Learn to be spontaneous and laugh with each other. Play a game of tag in the yard that ends with a kiss, or splash in a warm bubble bath together. A little nibble on the ear or a flirty swat on the back end is some of the many ways to be creative with your affection.

7. Involve a Third Party for Help

There is no shame in asking for help to improve a relationship. It reflects your love and desire to strengthen the bonds that keep you together. For some couples, dealing with one partner’s lack of affection may require professional counseling.

There may be some past trauma or other issues that need to be resolved. Maybe you believe that your lover’s dwindled affection was somehow your fault. Consider couples counseling with a professional counselor that you trust with your feelings and situation.

If your partner is hesitant about seeing a professional counselor, maybe he would consider talking with a minister or a trusted family friend. Go in with the attitude that this is our issue, not just his issue. Your compassion may be the thing to get him to open up about his feelings.

Final Thoughts on Developing an Affectionate Bond For Life

In any relationship, both partners need and deserve affection. If you and your lover aren’t on the same page, you can work together for a resolution. A more affectionate relationship can bring you closer together for a lifetime of love and commitment.

10 Ways to Raise a Successful Kid With Your Narcissistic Ex

July 20, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Raising good kids is no easy feat. Children don’t come with manuals, and you must make instant decisions that affect their lives daily. Things are even more compounded when you have an ex in the picture, specifically when they are narcissistic.

Is it possible to raise a child in a split universe where one side is balanced, and the other is off-kilter? A narcissistic ex is a person that thinks of themselves first. Indeed, they will do things that will cause your children great psychological harm. Behaviors like not showing up for a visit, avoiding child support payments, and neglecting responsibilities are commonplace.

Not only did you want to sever ties with this toxic person. However, you are forever bound to them because of your children. Walking away is hard when they’re always going to be there in some aspect.

Tips for Raising Well-Adjusted Kids

You don’t want your narcissistic ex affecting your child’s mental health. To ensure that they are well rounded and can roll with the punches, here are ten things that you may want to do.

1. Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in a Game

It’s not uncommon for ex-lovers to be in a bitter battle over children. However, you must be the bigger person and not allow this battle to take your child’s mental stability with it. Never use your child as a pawn in this dirty game.

Many people use their children to get back at their ex without even realizing it. Some examples of this would be to say, “You can’t see your father because he hasn’t paid his child support this month.” In this instance, the mother tries to make the father look less than in the child’s eyes. She is putting negative thoughts in the kid’s head about the worth of their father.

The child will surmise that their dad didn’t want to pay for their needs, but that may not be the case. Even though all the things she said may be right, it’s never good to use the child to get back at the other party.

Your child is not a messenger, and you should never give them a message to give to the other party. In many instances, the parent who uses the child’s emotions as a vise will be the one that it comes back to bite in the end.

2. Put Your Children in Counseling

Some parenting situations are high-conflict arrangements, and your children can feel the pain of these rifts. You would be surprised how this stress can affect even the youngest child. Kids often feel guilty and like they are to blame for the way their parents act.

A narcissistic ex will make poor choices, but they can also direct their behaviors towards their children. Your kids need someone that they can talk to and a place where they are safe to say how they feel. While they love both their parents, they need that unbiased third party to help them cope.

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3. Use the Court System

The court is well equipped to handle high-conflict cases where children are involved. If you find that your narcissistic ex is making everything increasingly tricky, you can ask a judge to appoint a parent coordinator.

A coordinator has training in reducing the stress of the situation, and the most important thing is that they can ease some of the angst your child feels too. An attorney is needed to help get this motion put through the court system.

4. Get a Court Ordered Custody Agreement

When preparing for a custody case, it’s essential to understand What can be used against you in a custody battle? Factors such as your behavior, lifestyle choices, and even social media activity can significantly impact the judge’s decision. Being aware of these elements can help you present yourself in the best possible light and avoid common pitfalls.

The courts will establish a parenting plan that is fair to everyone involved. It’s best to have these guidelines because it gives you leverage should things be challenging. You can file a motion for contempt if the other party isn’t cooperating, which can be beneficial in a custody battle.

5. Never Argue with Your Ex

It’s easy to want to challenge someone who is selfish and thinking about only their needs. However, it would be best if you remembered that your children could feel your stress. Part of raising well-adjusted kids is making sure they don’t see their parents arguing.

Remember, you’re never going to win a battle of words with a narcissistic ex, and you’re just wasting your breath. Save everything for a court battle. Go by the court guidelines, and don’t let them get one over on you. Keep in mind that your children are always watching and listening to what’s going on.

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6. Establish Firm Boundaries

Dealing with a narcissistic is not easy, and they love to start drama. Their goal is to turn the situation around to make you look like an unstable parent. It would help if you didn’t give them any ammunition for their battle.

Communication needs to be done in writing, like through text or email, so there is always a paper trail. You don’t want them to put words in your mouth. Text messages can be used in court, and this method of communication gives you time to think before you speak. Some people find it’s easier to say things in a text than by phone or in person.

When it comes to communication with your child, there should be set times, and someone should be listening in on the conversation. The narcissistic parent may call and try to invade your visitation time, and this is usually the case when your kid has a phone.

Always leave your emotions out of the situation when dealing with your ex, and stick to the facts. If you get emotional in your dealings, then you are feeding the narcissist’s ego.

7. Keep Records

You never know when your narcissistic ex will take you back to court. These people often forget about the best interest of the child and only want to fill their agenda. Your detailed records can help you to prove to the court what you’re dealing with from this person.

Keep a file with a communication log, any legal papers, social media messages, and texts between you, your ex, and the children. Anything that can be used to benefit your case before a judge, you should keep.

8. Watch Out for Triggers

As your child begins to age and becomes an independent person, the narcissist may have a difficult time processing the feeling that they are not needed. It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to have a flare-up as their child’s growth is a trigger for past feelings of abandonment.

Another common issue is dealing with the narcissistic ex is holiday madness. Just like anxiety and depression is stronger for some around birthdays and major holidays, the same can be said for the narcissistic person. When you learn their patterns, you can take steps to protect yourself and your children from these times of emotional upheaval.

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9. Ask for a Guardian ad Litem

A Guardian ad Litem or GAL is a representative that the courts can appoint for your family. These individuals are to be the voice of the child and to express the best interests and wishes to the court. If you’re in a battle with your ex, then you need this person to advocate and support the child.

A word of caution when dealing with a GAL is that they don’t always view things the way you do. They look at things from both angles and submit a report to the court detailing the child’s wishes and what they feel is the best situation going forward. A GAL is a valuable person that can stand up in court and be an unbiased third-party working for the child.

10. Take Care of You

Make sure to spend the time to take care of your needs. How can you love and nurture your children if you’re continually using all your emotional and physical reserves to fight your narcissistic ex? A custody dispute is one of the most draining battles of your life, and you need to make sure that you don’t fall to pieces.

Don’t feel that getting a court advocate or a Guardian Ad Litem makes you weak. These people help you stay strong as they are there to assist in the battle. It would help if you had a counselor that you can talk to and clear the air about things going on in your life, and you need to take a break whenever possible.

Final Thoughts: Stay Strong for the Sake of Your Child, Despite Your Narcissistic Ex

You’re fighting to raise well-adjusted kids. Though you may not see an end to the battle in sight, there will be a day you look back on all these experiences and be glad there are over.

The narcissistic ex can make your life seem impossible, but you should stop and consider how your child feels. Your kids might feel caught in the middle of a tug-of-war, and they love both of their parents.

Researchers Reveal How Binaural Beats Can Lower Stress and Anxiety

July 20, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Many remedies exist for combating stress and anxiety. Have you gone through the list and still can’t seem to calm your brain? Then you might want to try binaural beats. When you hear two tones of varying frequencies in different ears, your brain still processes them as a single tone. The term binaural beats simply refers to the different frequencies playing in each ear.

Here’s an example so you can visualize it:

Suppose you’re listening to a sound that plays in your left ear at 132 Hertz (Hz). In your right ear, you have a sound playing at a frequency of 121 Hz. Your brain will perceive the sound as the difference between the two frequencies, or 11 Hz. So, the tones will merge together, so it seems as though you only hear one tone, though two different ones are actually playing in each ear.

The history of binaural beats

A Prussian meteorologist named Heinrich Wilhelm Dove discovered binaural beats in 1839. Also called “brain entrainment,” many researchers consider them a weird invention rather than a medical treatment. Binaural means “relating to both ears.”

Playing a tone with a slightly different frequency in your left and right ear. For example, 440 Hz in one and 430 in the other, causes the waves to travel separately to your inferior colliculus. This part of your brain gathers auditory input and sends signals to your mind about the sounds. There, the tones merge into a wave of a new frequency, which occurs at the difference between the two. So, you’d hear a frequency of 10 Hz using the example above.

Binaural beats are an auditory illusion since the singular tone doesn’t exist. Researchers have found that the beats have to have a frequency of less than 1000 Hz to work, and the difference between the sounds can’t exceed 30 Hz. The tones must also play separately in each ear. Binaural beats have been used in music to help tune instruments such as pianos and organs. However, scientists have begun to look into this alternative therapy for their possible health benefits.

Evidence supporting the use of binaural beats

A 2018 study found that listening to binaural beats for a certain amount of time can affect a person’s mood and sleep patterns.

The authors of the study explain the classifications of frequencies and how they affect our brains:

Delta waves: Binaural beats that occur in the delta category have a frequency of 0.5–4 Hz. These waves induce a dreamless state during sleep. In the study, people who listened to this type of binaural beat had much more profound sleep than others, according to EEG brain scans.
Theta waves: Theta waves have a frequency of 4–7 Hz. Theta patterns have been associated with REM sleep, heightened creativity, and improved meditation.
Alpha pattern: Binaural beats with alpha waves have a frequency of 7–13 Hz and promote a relaxed state.
Beta pattern: Binaural beats with a beta pattern occur at frequencies of 13–30 Hz. Since it occurs at a higher frequency, it promotes a state of concentration and alertness. However, it can also increase anxiety as the frequency goes up.
Gamma waves: This frequency pattern occurs at a range between 30–50 Hz. The authors of the study explain that gamma waves help maintain a state of arousal while a person goes about their day.

Researchers reveal how binaural beats can lower stress and anxiety (among other benefits)

Binaural beats have a similar effect on health as a regular meditation practice. But the practitioner feels the effects much quicker with this alternative therapy. Here are some of the reported benefits:

reduced anxiety
better concentration and focus
more relaxed disposition
better moods
lower stress
increased creativity
better pain management
Improved sleep

While the studies on binaural beats have been relatively small, they show promise in helping people relax and unwind in our hectic world today. Some researchers show skepticism about the benefits of binaural beats, but as long as people feel better while listening to them, that’s all that matters in the end.

Binaural beats between 1 and 30 Hz can create the same brain wave patterns that occur during meditation, according to researchers. When you hear a sound at a certain frequency, your brainwaves will adjust to match that frequency. In this way, you can experience similar benefits that you would get from meditation without actually having to practice it.

How to experience binaural beats

You will need a pair of headphones and an audio recording of this music, as well as a comfortable, relaxed setting. Many people listen before falling asleep, but you can use this method at any time you feel high anxiety or stress levels. You can easily find recordings of binaural beats online on platforms such as YouTube, or you can download them straight to your phone. Just make sure the beats have a frequency of less than 1000 Hz and that the difference between the tones doesn’t exceed 30 Hz.

Get in a comfortable position and make sure you have an environment free of distractions. Try to listen for at least 30 minutes per day so that your brain can get used to the frequencies and begin to reset to match the tones. If you don’t notice a difference with the recording you’ve found, you can always choose a different frequency at gumroad.

Adjust the time you listen, depending on your mood and anxiety levels. If you feel high levels of stress, you may want to hear for a more extended period until the feeling subsides. Always listen with headphones to get the maximum benefit. Finally, make sure you don’t listen while doing anything that requires your full attention, such as driving.

A controlled study on binaural beats

While most studies on the health benefits of binaural beats have been small, some of them do show evidence to support claims that it can help with anxiety, mood, and performance. For example, one blinded study in 29 people found that listening to binaural beats in the beta range (16 and 24 Hz) helped with performance on a task as well as reduced negative moods. They compared this to listening to binaural beats in the theta and delta (1.5 and 4 Hz) range or pure white noise and found that the beta range helped the most.

Another controlled study in roughly 100 people about to undergo surgery also found that binaural beats dramatically decreased pre-operative anxiety compared to similar recordings without binaural beats as well as no audio. In the study, researchers found that patients’ anxiety levels decreased by 50% on average for those who listened to binaural beats.

Uncontrolled study on binaural beats

Another uncontrolled study asked eight adults to listen to a CD with binaural beats played at delta (1 to 4 Hz) wave frequencies for 60 days consecutively. The participants filled out surveys before and after the 60-day period that asked questions about their quality of life as well as mood. The answers on the review indicated that participants experienced significant improvements in quality of life as well as reduced anxiety. Of course, since the study had no controls, relied on participants to report data, and only included eight people, more extensive studies will need to be done to confirm these results.

However, a larger and more recent controlled study looked at the effectiveness of binaural beats in 291 patients admitted to the emergency area of a hospital. The researchers observed large decreases in anxiety in patients. The participants listened to audio with binaural beats compared to those who listened to sounds without binaural beats or no audio at all.

Side effects associated with binaural beats

No side effects have been reported from listening to binaural beats, but you’ll want to make sure you don’t listen for long periods at high volumes. Prolonged exposure to sounds at 85 decibels or higher can result in hearing loss. Traffic, for instance, produces sounds at around 85 decibels. Also, wearing headphones for extended periods can cause earwax buildup as well as sore feelings in the ears, so you may not want to listen at bedtime.

Final thoughts on how binaural beats can lower stress and anxiety

The studies on the effectiveness of binaural beats have been relatively small. However, they proved that the frequencies of the beats could help with anxiety, moods, attention, and memory. Also, studies have shown that they can decrease chronic pain and improve sleep quality. To get the most out of binaural beats, listen daily for at least 30 minutes. That amount of time means your brain waves can adjust to the new frequencies.

Of course, binaural beats won’t eliminate anxiety and stress. But they can certainly serve as a helpful tool in relaxing in our fast-paced world. If you combine this stress-reduction therapy with other relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, aromatherapy, or other forms of sound therapy, you will notice even more benefits. If you try out binaural beats, let us know how you enjoy them on our Facebook page!

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