In an ideal world, everyone is respectful and mindful of the needs of the other. However, we have to learn to maneuver those who are not and to enhance our own skills so that we can become better at being a better person overall. Here is the reality. Along with dating comes mishaps, misunderstandings, and commitment issues. Here we do not have any secrets except one: be the best partner you can be. This is easier said than done so we had to compile a list to help you get along better in the dating world.
You do not have to be perfect, as there is no such thing as the perfect person. With our list of skills that make you good, you will have a compass to start with yourself and then be able to deal with others. Starting with being respectful and honest is always a good base. Everyone should remember those rules from being in kindergarten. This is the mark of someone who gets it and is ready to balance the five skills we have shared below.
Skills that make you good at your job could also apply for dating. Below we review five skills and share some pro dating tips that can keep you afloat while looking for the one. Each step is where you can begin to work on yourself and then start to look at others. Just as you would at any job interview or on the job of any company, you would do a self-evaluation and try to improve from there. Think of our list as the beginning of your self-improvement and awareness. Before you know it you will be on your way to a long term, healthy relationship.
These 5 Skills Up Your Dating Game
Dating is always a challenge, but with the right tools, you can date and not feel bogged down with self-loathing or negativity.
1. Be Observative
Are you aware of social cues? Can you read body language and eye contact, or lack thereof? There are many forms of nonverbal communication. Not noticing if the person is into you may save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you are better able to read body language then you will know how to interpret a possible connection with potential partners.
Reading body language can tell you if the person is interested in your or your friend. Reading body language can also tell you what the person is more excited about in talking on topics. Knowing body language is like having an inside scoop on what will happen next. You can better hone this craft by people-watching. Pay attention to others on dates and see if the the lady is interested in what the guy is saying. If she is she will be leaned in and making eye contact. She may even have a flirty laugh and toss of her hair.
2. Be Self Aware
What are some things you need to work on without being too critical? Before pairing with anyone, it is best to be aware of your flaws and how you work on them. What kind of partner are you while in a relationship? These are important questions to ask of yourself before trying to partner with someone else. By knowing yourself, you come in to the relationship with a better foundation and the ability to build a new one with someone else. Start dating yourself first.
Being by yourself is a strong sign that you are ready to include someone else along for fun. Who else will be if you are not okay with being with you? Being alone is not punishment nor should it be a boring time. Get to know your own interests and pursue what you are in to. Pairing up with someone else will be even more interesting because of your pursuits.
3. Emotional Intelligence and Awareness
Being able to handle your emotions in a healthy manner matters. The key components of having emotional intelligence are having a deeper understanding of yourself, being able to control your emotions in a healthy manner, and feeling empathy towards others. With this skill set you can have an even deeper relationship with someone else. The connection will be made for yourself and also your partner.
Being able to communicate means listening and also conversing. Participating in the exchange of ideas is a sign of healthy communication. Show interest in the date. You can do this by showing appreciation and validating what is being shared with you. Ask questions and be interested and not just interesting. Staring and nodding your head will only lead to a short and single date.
Going back to kindergarten, being honest was a part of the rules of the class. Maintain an openness, too, as you share your feelings throughout the course of the relationship. The way you and the other person communicate is a telltale sign of things to come. This can make or break the relationship. Finding the best way of communicating that works for you both is best. It must be two people communicating. Once you find that you are deeper into the relationship, it may take more work, but with some willingness to work on it you can have a lifetime partner. Being closed off will end a relationship quickly.
Pro dating tips: start getting in the habit of asking at least three questions for each topic that you are not as interested in. This will let your date know that you may not know much about the topic, but you will not seem as if you are not interested in what they are saying.
5. Finance Before Romance
You want to impress your new love interest but do not want to go broke while doing it. Understand what your spending limits are beforehand. When planning the date, you can know exactly what you can and cannot do. Exercising this type of restraint takes time and it will reflect in what is currently in your bank account or your ability to save. No one wants to date someone who cannot pay their own bills. That is not the stuff that a good foundation is made of. You will also find that some of the best dates do not necessarily cost money.
Thoughtfulness and preparedness matter too. Do not discount this for creating a cheap date. Understand your relationship with money may not be the next person’s relationship with money. Free activities such as going for a hike or watching a movie may not be at the top of the list each time for every person.
Pro dating tips: Some apps can help you to get financially sound. Some apps will change what you spent that day and place it into stocks. There are also other apps to help with making certain you stay on top of paying bills.
6. BONUS TIP: Time Management
Having the time to have someone else in your life is equally important. Are you always working or always at work even when you are home? No one wants to communicate with themselves. Think on your own time management and if you are always late to events or outings. No one wants to feel that they are second place to whatever your schedule is. Take an honest look at your time management and how you approach being on time and in the moment.
If you are always connected to your phone and social media, you are not in the moment. Taking a break from your phone and committing to being in the moment for a few weeks could be great practice to being with someone else. You may find the answer is that you may have to wait until you are in a better position before bringing someone else to the table of your life.
Final Thoughts on Improving Your Dating Skills
Some other dating thoughts on time management and being more assertive when seeing others. Can you incorporate this person into your life at this time? Are you truly capable of handling such a schedule without burning out, being late, or being exhausted? Managing your time will allow you to be present and in the moment. The person sitting across from you will appreciate this and will appreciate it even more if their own time is not wasted. Being assertive does not mean being rude. Being assertive simply means you can ascertain when it is time to speak up and show interest in an activity or the other person. They may appreciate and be even more interested in you because you made a stand.
This list could lead to a lot more once you have begun to look at yourself to make certain it is time to bring someone else into your life. The other person will also have their own baggage and their own ways. Being mature enough to recognize this will lead to a healthier dating life.
In the end, we are all works in progress. There is no perfect person. We all have the potential to get rid of our bad dating habits and blossom into someone your new love interest will be glad and proud to date. Applying these dating tips to your everyday life can help.