Have you ever known someone in an broken or dysfunctional relationship? Ever wondered why they stayed with this person despite all the negatives? Relationships are complex, even in the best of times. They involve huge investments in time, money, and emotions. Walking away from a long-term relationship can cause deep emotional pain.
The longer the relationship, the harder it becomes to leave it behind. Your emotions, finances, and family are perhaps inextricably intertwined with the other person. So even when you leave, you will still have to see them sort out finances or visit with your kids.
Plus, people stay in toxic relationships for other reasons, such as familiarity or lack of options. They may hesitate to leave because that would mean starting over from scratch. So, they remain in the relationship even though they no longer feel happy or fulfilled.
Watching someone you love and care about waste away in a broken relationship isn’t easy. But, your friend/family member may think that leaving will cause them even greater pain and distress.
Five Reasons Why Someone People Stay in a Broken Relationship
1 – Investment of Time
We have limited time here on Earth, as no one lives forever. When we commit to long-term relationships, we invest a lot of time into the – time we will never get back if the relationship fails. Also, if we leave or our partner calls it quits, other responsibilities can become burdensome when left to one person. We must shuttle kids back and forth, work longer hours to compensate for lost income, and take on household chores alone. Also, time spent building or upgrading our homes seems like a waste if the family doesn’t stay together.
2 – You Still Care For Them
You may struggle to walk away because you still have powerful feelings for them. Even though the relationship no longer works, that doesn’t mean the love disappears. These strong feelings may encourage you to stay, even if you’ve realized your partner isn’t good for you.
3 – Financial Concerns
You may own a home and cars together, not to mention phone plans and other bills we take for granted every month. In addition, you may have joint bank accounts or joint investments together. Splitting these finances may require a time-consuming, complicated process that involves lawyers, banks, and other institutions.
Your partner may also not have an income if they gave up their career or education to start a family. This means that they will have to restart their career if you split, which may require going back to school. On the other hand, perhaps both of you have full-time careers. Breaking up could mean paying for childcare, which adds an enormous monthly expense for most families. The legal paperwork to split up can get hideously expensive if you already have a tight budget. After mulling over all these expenses, some people may decide they can’t afford to split up.
Some studies reveal that people might feel motivated to remain in unfulfilling relationships for their partner’s sake. For instance, if a partner perceives their other half as heavily dependent on the relationship, their chances of initiating a breakup decrease.
4 – Kids
If you have kids, you probably don’t like the idea of sacrificing any time with them. The thought of only seeing them every other weekend or missing holidays with them might keep you in a broken relationship. Also, if your spouse isn’t mentally or emotionally stable, you may feel apprehensive about leaving them alone with your child. In addition, child custody battles can drain you emotionally and ruin you financially.
Staying together for the kids explains why so many couples only split up after they have an empty nest. Of course, some couples get divorced when their children are young, but some tough it out for the kids’ sake.
5 – Public Perception
Breakups can lead to awkward conversations with friends and family. For instance, if you have a high profile and public position at work, the media might cover your relationship troubles, exposing your private life to thousands. Even if you aren’t in the public eye, you might consider the perception of your friends, family, or coworkers. You may share friends with your partner; if the relationship tanks, you might lose friendships.
Or, maybe you keep your personal life to yourself and don’t want to risk the humiliation of admitting your failed relationship. Instead, you maintain the facade of a happy relationship to the world, even though you and your partner only remain together legally.
With that said, sometimes leaving a relationship serves your best interest, even if you’ve been together for years. Toxic relationships can cause serious mental and physical health problems due to the chronic stress you endure. Below, we will go over a few signs you should break up with your partner.
Signs You Should Leave A Relationship
- You feel unhappy most of the time, even during quality time with your partner.
- Dreaming about leaving or finding a new relationship.
- Considering talking to other people on the side because you feel unsatisfied.
- You feel lonely or disconnected from your partner.
- Your partner doesn’t put in the effort like they used to, even when they have time off work.
- Feeling comfortable in your own skin around your partner.
- Your significant other has become mentally, physically, or emotionally abusive.
Final Thoughts on Ending a Toxic Relationship
People stay in broken relationships for many reasons, such as financial obligations, children, or time investments. Walking away from years of memories, a beautiful home, and precious children isn’t something many people would consider.
The end of a relationship may cause some people a loss of identity or purpose, which may feel more painful than staying. So, it requires making a list of pros and cons to decide if you will stay in a bad relationship.
Of course, only you can choose at the end of the day. Your gut knows best, even if your friends or family encourage you to stay or leave. Every relationship is different, and no universal fix will magically save a broken relationship. If you truly want to repair the relationship, it takes patience, effort, and time to heal. It isn’t an easy decision to make, but hopefully, whatever you choose will bring you happiness, peace, and security.