Getting cheated on sucks. It can cause so many confusing emotions. It can crush your world when you realize your partner is prone to cheat. However, no matter how bleak the situation may seem, you can bounce back from cheating stronger and better than ever.
Ten Ways to Recover After Discovering Your Partner Cheating
Here are ten ways to bounce back when you discovered your partner cheating.
1. Get a makeover.
One way to bounce back is to show your partner what they’re missing out on. Not only will a head-to-toe makeover accomplish this, but it will make you feel much better.
Get a new hair color and cut. Go shopping for a new, sexy outfit with new, sexy shoes. Don’t be modest with it! Go all out and get the most head-turning outfit (head-turning in a good way) you can find.
Get your makeup done by a professional makeup artist and don’t forget about a manicure and pedicure. By the time you’re done with your makeover, you’ll look and feel like a cover model and your partner will be regretting their infidelity.
2. Spend time with close friends.
After a partner cheats on you, it can make you feel alone. You may withdraw from people without even realizing you’re doing it. Even worse, dealing with the situation alone can make you feel worse.
A great way to remedy this feeling is by spending time with people who really care about you. It’s a great opportunity to plan a weekend getaway with you and people who will remind you of how amazing you are. Most importantly, they’ll help keep your mind off of your unfaithful partner so you aren’t wallowing in misery.
As a bonus, you’ll probably have loads of fun. Fun is always a great remedy for sadness.
3. Talk to a professional.
If you’re feeling really down about your partner stepping out on the relationship and you can’t think of any other way to shake it, you may need to seek professional counseling. Often talking to a stranger can be easier than talking to people you know.
Getting cheated on can often lead to a lot of confusing emotions. These emotions could affect you in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. Seeking professional counseling can help you keep yourself on track until you process the things that are going on with you.
If you feel embarrassed to talk to a counselor, try to understand that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Plenty of people see counselors and it’s perfectly healthy and normal to need one when you’re going through heartbreak. Your sessions are also confidential, so you don’t even have to tell anyone you’re going.
4. Go to church or a spiritual gathering.
If you’re a spiritual or religious individual, and you find out your partner hasn’t been faithful to the relationship, a divine intervention could be in your near future. Turning to your faith can help you process what’s happened as well as get through it in one piece. In fact, you might come out of the other side better and more enlightened than ever.
There is a certain inner peace that can occur when you turn your troubles over to your faith. This can be further reinforced by worshiping with others who believe as you do. It’s almost like the combined worship multiplies your inner strength and helps you to get through the situation.
5. Fully process the emotions.
One big mistake that people make when processing trauma such as infidelity or a breakup is not processing their feelings. It can be natural to suppress what you’re feeling, especially if you don’t like being vulnerable around people. However, it’s important to realize that you’re human and that it’s okay to be vulnerable from time to time.
Finding out your partner isn’t faithful is definitely one of those times.
Dealing with your emotions is the healthiest way to bounce back from a cheat. licensed psychotherapist Vanessa Marin says that it’s okay to have these awful emotions because it just makes sense, and at some point, you’ll realize that the infidelity wasn’t about you. That’s where you’ll start to bounce back.
While you’re feeling your emotions, don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re feeling forgiving, forgive. Give yourself time to feel your emotions and process them. If you do that, you’ll bounce back faster than you can imagine.
6. Deal with the situation immediately.
You may feel the exact opposite way of that statement like you absolutely don’t want to deal with it right now. However, that would be a mistake. The main reason is that you’re simply putting off the inevitable and suppressing the feelings that come with it and you just learned that doing that is bad.
The other reason you want to deal with it immediately is that you can’t bounce back from something you haven’t dealt with yet. The longer you put it off, the longer it will take to heal from it.
This can be even worse if you live with your partner. Passive aggression can start coming out of nowhere even if you’re not intending to behave that way. When this happens, you’re not bouncing back, you’re acting out, so deal with it as soon as possible.
7. Don’t be anyone’s doormat.
An unfaithful partner is bad enough, but when they make you feel powerless, insecure, or unworthy, it’s time to stand up for yourself. You can’t bounce back if your self-esteem is down the drain. Dealing with someone who makes you feel bad due to their horrible actions is not going to help your self-esteem.
When your partner steps out on the relationship, you may begin to feel like you need to “do something” differently to make them faithful. This is simply not true. You can’t control the actions of other people.
If they take advantage of that situation, and you allow it to continue, this is where you’ll begin to feel like a doormat. Nip this situation in the bud. Keep in mind that you cannot make someone be faithful no matter what you do.
Once you accept this, you’ll be able to regain your self-esteem and bounce back from the infidelity.
8. Have fun.
Finding out your partner isn’t faithful can come as such a shock that the pain cuts deep. One way to bounce back is to have fun. This might sound ridiculous – after all, how can you possibly have fun when you’re heartbroken?
The answer is to fake it until you make it. Even if you’re just going through the motions, do things that you would normally think of as fun. The key is to do them with friends (as suggested in tip number two).
When you’re doing fun activities with friends, eventually the fun will take over, even if only for a little while. Those little breaks in sadness can be enough to fuel you until you can make a complete comeback.
9. Move on from the cheating.
It can be awfully hard to trust your partner once you become aware of infidelity. In fact, many people never trust an unfaithful partner again. Despite the lack of trust, some people attempt to stay in the relationship.
It’s understandable that you may want to remain in the relationship. After all, you weren’t the one who cheated because you love your partner. Unfortunately, your partner doesn’t value you the way you value them.
It’s hard and can feel like your heart is being ripped into a million pieces but if there is no trust in the relationship, it will never work. In fact, there is scientific research to support saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater”. It’s time to let go of your cheating partner for your own well-being.
10. Date other people.
You don’t have to immediately jump into another relationship but going out on simple dates can help to take your mind off of your partner’s infidelity. Of course, you should only date other people if you’ve completely ended the relationship with your partner. Otherwise, dating other people can further damage the relationship.
Dating other people can also boost your confidence after it’s been shaken by a cheating partner. It will help remind you that you’re attractive, you have a great personality, and that you’re desirable. This will be especially true if you happen to click with one of your dates.
Besides making yourself feel great, once your partner sees you out there on the market, they’ll regret stepping out on you. That could bring you some satisfaction that can make it much easier to bounce back.
You’ve put your all into a relationship, so it really blows when your partner steps out on you. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to be depressed. You don’t deserve that. You may not know what the next step is in your relationship, but one thing is certain – you may not make a great decision without a clear head. Take some time to bounce back from the blow so you feel good again. Once your confidence and self-esteem are back, you’ll be better equipped to handle the situation.