Do you suspect your partner is cheating?
It’s not unusual for someone in a relationship to worry about the fidelity of their partner. After all, you need to feel safe with your significant other, and you can’t do that if you can’t trust their sense of loyalty.
As such, you may be on the lookout for signs that they are being unfaithful. But many of the cues you’re looking for might not actually be accurate, as infidelity can be a sneaky thing.
Here Are 15 Hidden Signs A Partner Is Cheating
They Are Suddenly More Affectionate
It’s not unusual for couples to grow apart over time. The spark may not die or fizzle out in an extreme manner, but the amount it exchanged affection may simply decrease over time. If this is what has been happening in your relationship for a while, but it suddenly all makes a 180 switch, it may be too good to be true.
There Are Expenses They Can’t Explain
If you share a bank account with your partner or have access to their bill statements, then you would probably notice any unusual expenses fairly quickly. If your partner can’t explain them or acts nervous or defensive, there is a chance that they are cheating.
Believe it or not, the expenses involved in an affair can add up pretty quickly. Your partner may have to pay for hotel rooms, dates, gifts, and travel time. Look out for unusual spending behavior such as:
- Sudden account access restriction
- Higher frequency of ATM withdrawals
- Concealment of bank statements
- An unexplained lack of funds
Things Get Awkward With Their Friends
A cheater may cover their tracks flawlessly around you, but it is not unusual for their friends to catch wind that something is wrong. This can cause those friends to be torn between loyalty to your partner and their personal opinions.
This means that hanging out with those friends can quickly become awkward and uncomfortable. They may be extra nice to you for no visible reason, be unable to look you in the eye, or just act oddly.
They Are Putting Sudden Effort Into Their Appearance
You and your partner have gotten a little too comfortable around each other. You wear the same clothes, are generally a bit of a mess around each other, and seem much too busy to focus on looking attractive.
But all of a sudden, your partner is dressing up well, choosing their best accessories, and making sure no hair is out of place. And, oddly enough, they don’t seem to care what you think of their transformation. Maybe there’s someone else they’re trying to impress. Some other appearance changes you may notice are:
- Getting a new haircut
- Buying new clothes
- Wearing cologne or perfume
- Working out
- Going on a diet
- Primping in front of a mirror
They Have Different Interests
When you first fall in love, you want to learn everything about the other person. You want to like what they like, you listen to them rave about what they love, and you make an effort to get involved in their hobbies.
So if your partner suddenly seems to have wildly different interests, maybe it’s because someone new has caught their eye. For example, your partner might:
- Suddenly know a lot about things they have never been interested in
- Be very into a new hobby that seems out of character for them
- Lose interest in things they once enjoyed
- Lose interest in things they do with you
They Become Protective Of Devices
In our modern age, people communicate with others constantly using their devices, such as their phones, computers, and tablets. This means that a cheater will likely be communicating with secret lovers through these devices.
In order to prevent you from finding out about their affair, your partner will likely become very protective over the aforementioned devices. They may do things such as:
- Change their passwords
- Add passwords
- Clear message history
- Refuse to let you borrow their devices
- Stop you from handling their devices
- Never leave their devices unattended
- Angle their device screen away from you
- Lose positive thinking when you see their devices (2)
Sometimes, You Can’t Reach Them
Are there times in a day where you have no idea where your partner is? Do you have no way of finding out? Are they just entirely unreachable for long stretches of time, especially when they’re out of town or working late?
There are lots of excuses that a cheater may come up with in order to explain their lack of responsiveness. They may say that their phone was on silent mode or turned off, they might state that they had no connection, or they might claim to have been busy driving or in a meeting.
Does a single moment where you can’t reach them mean that they are cheating? No, but if it happens all the time, be on your guard.
They Avoid Cheating-Related Things
Does your partner seem to act strangely whenever the subject of cheating comes up? They may try to act casual or attempt to change the subject much too quickly. Here are some mays they may behave:
They seem to have completely lost any feelings of jealousy. Perhaps, even, they joke that a waiter is just your type, or they tease you about someone who seems attracted to you.
They Won’t Watch It
If a TV show or movie deals with infidelity, they simply don’t want to watch it. If they do, they appear uncomfortable or awkward. This also goes for other types of media, like books and games.
When you talk about someone else cheating, they dismiss it or act noncommittal. They may even defend the person or act like it’s no big deal.
They Don’t Want To Be Open That You’re Together
Has your partner stopped introducing you as their significant other? Have they stopped wanting to show you off for who you are to them, instead cutting back on displays of affection? They may be keeping your relationship on the down-low because they’re also seeing someone else. They might:
- Only ever introduce you by name
- Refuse to hold your hand in public
- Keep you from meeting their friends and family
Their Schedule Changes
The biggest cheating red flags have to do with schedules. Here are some huge ones to look out for:
Their Schedule Is Suddenly Much Different
Your partner suddenly begins always working late or always stopping by a bar before heading home. They suddenly have a lot of business trips. They have classes to go to over the weekend. Where is all this coming from?
They’re Always Late
They used to be on time for most things, but that punctuality has vanished. Now you’re lucky if they meet you within half an hour of the promised time at all.
Their Routine Is Different
They used to come home, give you a hug, turn on the TV, and fill out the day’s crossword. Now they head straight to the shower upon returning, then sit outside for a while. Why?
Things Are Always Going Wrong
For some reason, your partner is always getting delayed. There are always problems at work. They keep getting flat tires. Traffic jams are stretching out for ages.
They’re Too Punctual
Your partner usually comes home within 10 minutes, give or take, of a certain time. Now they’re arriving on the dot. They are creating specific timelines to spend equal time with you and their secret lover.
They Lie More Often
Little white lies aren’t always harmful. But if your partner seems to be lying more and more with each passing day, it may be because they’re losing track of all the secrets they are keeping.
There’s only one reason that people ever lie: because there is something that they are trying very hard to hide. If your partner has been turning into a chronic liar, they may have a reason for behaving that way. It’s hard to keep a web of lies untangled; eventually, they will trip up.
They Seem More Up For Fun
The act of having an affair makes people feel daring, young, and alive. Your partner may become more adventurous and suggest spontaneous, fun activities that they would usually never be up for. It seems like a positive thing, but don’t get your hopes up too quickly. (3)
Those who cheat also often have re-awakened their drive for intimacy in the bedroom. They may suddenly be more passionate towards you, suggest new things to try in bed, or seem more attracted to you. This is because their affair has renewed their libido.
There Are Intimacy Changes
What you do in the bedroom says a lot about the state of your relationship. When your partner is able to enjoy intimacy with someone other than you, it makes sense that their intimacy with you will be affected. They may:
- Stop initiating intimacy
- Start initiating intimacy
- Want to be intimate more often
- Lose interest in intimacy
They Don’t Get Annoyed By You Anymore
This sounds like a good thing, but a very sudden acceptance or ignorance of your bad habits can actually mean that your partner just doesn’t care anymore.