11 Signs Your Partner May Be Sleeping With Someone Else

11 Signs Your Partner May Be Sleeping With Someone Else

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“Cheating is never to do with how attractive you are.” – Marie Helvin

No one likes to think about whether or not their partner is seeing or sleeping with someone else. In an ideal world, no one would have to deal with the heartbreak that comes with being cheated on. Unfortunately, these things do happen. Hopefully, your relationship is one where open and honest communication comes before the possibility of your partner seeking an extramarital affair.


But if that isn’t the case, there are plenty of ways to tell whether or not your partner is sleeping with someone else. Of course, context is key. Some of these signs, by themselves, don’t mean your partner is cheating. You need to look at the bigger picture, pattern of behavior, and see if it’s out of the norm.

Is Your Partner Sleeping With Someone Else?

1. They become protective of their phone

If your partner, in the past, was not very protective of their phone and “if you notice a change in phone habits — like suddenly on silent all the time”, it could be a sign that there’s something on there that they don’t want you to see, says author Marina Sbrochi.

You’ve probably had no issue using your partner’s phone for something in the past – but now, they seem to be extremely protective, even going so far as to put a lock on it that prevents you from opening it.

2. They’re (too often) home late from work

If your partner is usually home by a certain time every day, but suddenly they’re staying late at work, it could be an excuse for them to see someone else behind your back. It’s a common enough excuse that many people don’t think too much about.


As dating and relationship advice and etiquette expert April Masini says, “When someone stops coming home at the regular time, on a regular basis, be wary. When a schedule changes and there’s no comment about why or what he or she is doing differently, it may be because your spouse is cheating on you.

3. Showering as soon as they get home

Unless your partner does a job like construction, roofing, or something else that’s bound to get them dirty, taking a shower as soon as they get off work can be a sign that they’re trying to wash away the evidence of another person. They might want to scrub away some errant lipstick, or a hint of cologne or perfume. This is a sign, especially if their showering habits are changing suddenly.

4. Their libido is down

People’s libido often fluctuate due to stress, nutrition, lack of exercise, or any other reason. A fluctuating libido isn’t a sign in and of itself. But, if it has always been pretty regular, and they start no longer desiring your attention, it may be because they’re getting their needs met elsewhere. But why?

Psychotherapist and author Tina B. Tessina, PhD., says, “Most women cheat because they feel emotionally deprived, and men are unfaithful because they often feel physically deprived.


5. They’re not as present during time together as they used to be

Now, perhaps your partner is still spending time with you – but maybe they don’t make you feel special like they used to. If your time together has gone from exciting and enjoyable for a long time to simply sharing  a few minutes together, it may be a sign that your partner is simply trying to placate you, while pursuing more enjoyable time elsewhere.

6. They pay more attention to their appearance

This sign doesn’t always mean that they’re sleeping with someone else – especially if they’ve already discussed with you wanting to change their appearance. However, if your partner goes from not caring much about how they look, to suddenly preening like a peacock, they may be trying to impress someone else.

Masini adds, “If your partner starts suddenly looking a lot better than he or she used to, they may be cheating.” If you’re not sure that the person they’re trying to impress is you, this can point to a sign of your partner stepping out.

7. They’re unexpectedly trying something new

Of course, this also doesn’t automatically mean that your partner is cheating on you. Usually, something new is going to be communicated between the two of you. However, if your partner is suddenly engaging with you in a way that seems unnatural, it may be a sign that they’re actually figuring this stuff out with someone else.

8. You can never get a straight answer

If your partner has gone from being open and honest in all of their communication, to being flighty and cagey, it’s probably a sign that they have something to hide from you. Getting a straight answer may feel impossible, even something as simple as how their day at work went. This can be a sign that they’re trying to hide something – or someone.

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