Have you ever noticed that some people are just naturally intimidating? Or, have you noticed that people tend to be intimidated by you?
Being an intimidating person is an intriguing situation to be in, as it can be tough to tell why people are so nervous around you – especially if you’re not a physically “scary” person. But it actually might be your personality traits that are causing the discomfort!
Here are 13 signs your personality may be intimidating people.
1. You Don’t Do Small Talk, Which Can Feel Intimidating to Some People
Being direct and to the point can be pretty intimidating, and if you match that description, you do not waste time with small talk. You likely consider beating around the bush pointless and would much rather get straight to the point and talk about pressing and significant issues.
This means you often skip pleasantries or avoid talking to people who won’t start an engaging or productive conversation. This can cause a projection of you that appears cold or even rude to others, and that’s certainly intimidating.
Though this is fine and a preference you likely share with many people, keep in mind that small talk can be positive. Many communities worldwide consider it a crucial part of their interactions and bonding.
2. You’re A Problem-Solver
It’s good to have the critical thinking skills necessary to be a good problem-solver, but that can sometimes intimidate people. This is because you’re always finding solutions independently and taking charge.
Others around you might feel like you hog the spotlight, like you are excluding them, or as though they are unneeded. This can lead them to consider you intimidating.
3. You Have Big Goals
Someone with big goals always strives to be the very best version of themselves. They do so by setting goals to work towards, and these are often ambitious and exciting, with motivation and commitment involved that propel them forward.
If this description matches you, it can be intimidating to the people around you. This is because of your colossal drive and forward movement. The good news is that the people who will likely be intimidated are those who are insecure about themselves and their achievements.
4. You Don’t Conform
Others are often intimidated by someone who has confidence in themselves and does not bend or conform to the expectations of others. Suppose you are an independent thinker, where your opinions are often not shared by the people around you. In that case, others with low self-confidence will find it hard to understand how it is possible to self-validate and not look for the approval of others.
In addition, people who are less knowledgeable in certain subjects may find it uncomfortable that you are so much more well-informed. Once again, this will not be an issue for people who are secure in themselves and have positive thinking for their actions.
5. You’re Assertive, Which Can Be Intimidating to Others
To an introvert, extroverted people can be intimidating. This is especially true if those extroverts are assertive. But you don’t necessarily need to be a stereotypical extrovert – or even an extrovert at all – to have this trait.
If you are the type to speak out while expecting others to do the same quickly, you can be perceived as aggressive toward those around you. Unlike some previous points, this intimidation isn’t necessarily a mark of insecurity.
As a matter of fact, by taking up all the space in the room and disregarding the different communication styles of others, you may alienate the people around you. This doesn’t mean you should stop being assertive – it just means that you must find the balance in a conversation instead of consistently dominating it. Here is what you can do in that respect:
- Take the time to assess the people surrounding you. Do they speak the same way as you do? Are they the type to interrupt your long assertive speeches, or would they likely wait for you to stop talking – which might not happen until the point is lost?
- Take note if people are unusually quiet or sensitive towards you. Try and encourage these people to speak or ask them what they think.
- Match the pace of others. You have great ideas, but let others share theirs, too. You can dominate the conversation when it’s your turn to speak, not throughout an entire meeting.
6. You’re Opinionated, Which Is Intimidating to Many
Being highly opinionated can also be intimidating to others. If you are not afraid to challenge societal conventions and even stand alone with those opinions, you’re giving off a power that may cause others to feel intimidated or uncomfortable.
Being opinionated is a great thing with many positive sides to it, including improving your persuasiveness and making you less vulnerable to other people’s persuasion. Just make sure that sound arguments back your opinions. Being opinionated involves:
- Determination to do something, even if it means not conforming to others’ expectations of you
- Dedication to keeping trying to achieve the desired result, even if it may seem strange or pointless to others
- Bravery in sticking to your guns, even if others are not backing you up.
7. You Never Make Excuses, and You Don’t Accept Them Either
Others may find you intimidating if you do not make or accept excuses. Not taking nonsense is not a sign of a lack of sympathy, but rather a sign of your willpower. Still, as justified as it is, no one can deny that dealing with someone who wants results is quite intimidating, not excuses.
People that don’t make or accept excuses:
- Don’t see themselves as a victim, even if their entire world is crumbling
- Don’t have a place in their life for complaints from anyone
- Pursue whatever goal they have set with vigor
- Have zero tolerance for procrastination and laziness
8. You Don’t Let Fear Control You
It can be intimidating and unsettling when someone is unphased by fear. Fear can have such robust control over so many people’s lives, so for someone to have the utmost in positive thinking and never let fear stop, you can be quite a shock. You may consider fear:
- An opportunity to grow and better yourself
- A new experience to live through and learn from
- An essential part of life
9. You Are Stubborn
Stubbornness can be an excellent trait in moderation, but others may find your determination intimidating. Being stubborn is one of the key reasons why you may be such a good problem-solver. Not taking no for an answer and doing your best to solve issues you can see solutions to is the sign of a go-getter.
Others might find it challenging to understand this trait of yours, and if they aren’t intimidated or impressed by it, they may even become confused. It’s a mystery to them why you would take up much of your time-solving problems they’ve given up on instead of merely letting them go.
10. You Never Get Envious, Which Often Feel Intimidating
Refraining from falling into patterns of bitterness or envy at other people’s success can be a tricky thing to do. As such, it makes sense that someone might find you intimidating if you never get envious of others.
Here are some traits that someone may have if they don’t fall prey to the green-eyed monster:
- They know that their chance for success is unaffected by their current job, money, or status
- They can congratulate others without any envy or malice present
- Being career-focused people with their own goals and don’t bother trying to meet other people’s
- They know that every person is different and has a different path in life
- Finally, they don’t view life as a race; they take their time and work on their aspirations at a pace that challenges them and them alone
11. You Always Want To Learn More
Close-minded people feel intimidated and insecure in the face of someone full of curiosity and always striving to learn more. So if you’re someone who understands that you don’t have all the answers in this complex world, your open-minded eagerness to grow and learn may throw off the people around you.
12. You Are Quick To Read Others
People find it intimidating to meet someone who can accurately read them within moments of a first meeting. This is especially true for people with ulterior motives, malice, or unfavorable characteristics, as you will not hesitate to call them out once you get a read on them.
Still, even those with good intentions only can be intimidated by quick reads. No one wants to feel like their entire life has been spilled within a few seconds, and it can make some people feel quite unsafe.
13. You Select Friends Carefully
Are you someone who chooses your friends very carefully? If so, the fact that you are so selective and even picky can be intimidating. This is because you don’t hesitate to cut off toxic people and want friends who are your peers, not those who will use you or who can’t contribute to your life in the same way you can contribute to theirs.
Still, this level of selection with friends can be a positive thing. This is because:
- Equally strong-willed friends can boost your self-control and discipline, while those who are not disciplined will lead to slacking on your end.
- You are less likely to take financial risks that may not end positively if you have fewer friends.
- Having proper socialization levels can lengthen your lifespan.
- The friends you make influence the choices that you make throughout your life.
- You can learn from good friends who are in the right positions or have the knowledge to share
- A good friend group lifts each other up.
Is it bad if your personality intimidates people? Not necessarily! It often points to a strong will, determination, and independence for which others should strive.
You shouldn’t feel the need to change those parts of yourself unless you want to. But do expect people to be a little nervous about speaking up around you, and don’t be surprised if people are taken aback when you reveal you can be a sweetheart after all!