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Studies Reveal That Husbands Put As Much Stress on Wives as Children

March 10, 2020 by Power of Positivity

In our fast-paced world today, both men and women have to shoulder more responsibilities and stress. Add children into the mix, and life can get pretty hectic, pretty quickly. We all do our best, but all of life’s pressures can get overwhelming, especially if one person doesn’t pull their weight. Also, women usually bear most of the caretaking responsibilities for their children, so they already have high levels of stress in most cases.

Married women experience stress, just like single moms. They have to maintain their job, households, relationships, themselves, and possibly children as well. According to the American Psychological Association, women have more symptoms associated with stress, such as fatigue, lack of energy, and anxiety. Women also report having more emotion-related stress, such as feeling like they could cry or lie awake at night due to overthinking.

Most people would think children cause more stress in people’s lives than their spouses, but according to a survey by today.com, 46% of wives say their husbands cause them more stress than children.

Below, we’ll go over the various ways that husbands may cause stress in their spouses’ lives. (This isn’t to hate on the awesome husbands out there, by the way! However, perhaps you can take a pointer or two away from this article). 🙂

How Husbands Cause Stress on Their Spouses

1 – Taking care of a husband can feel like having an extra child.

Men take a longer time than women to mature. This fact might mean that the woman must take care of her man as if he were another child in the family. While this might help them bond with their children more, it adds a lot of stress to a man’s wife if she must parent both of them. Between nonchalant attitudes about important issues to staying up late playing video games instead of helping around the house, men sometimes have a way of getting under a woman’s skin.

Most of the time, dads play with children, but moms typically do fewer fun activities, such as washing clothes and cooking. Of course, moms do anything for their children, but the added responsibilities can take their toll. Gender roles have become more equal in recent years as stresses and chores increase, but studies show that moms still carry the burden of tasks compared to men.

Mothers pay more attention to their children’s health, discipline, sleep schedule, education, and other essential aspects of their lives that are crucial for development. Women follow their children’s needs more because they are natural nurturers and caregivers. While children might seem to favor their dads more because they have more playtime with them, women play just as important a role in bringing up their children.

Women do more solo parenting, according to Cornell University, so this adds to their stress as well. Researchers stated that women play with their children, but it accounts for less of a share of their time than men since women have to juggle more household chores related to parenting.

Ways dads can help out:

Offer to do some of the chores during the week. Make some of the child’s doctor appointments, cook dinners, do laundry, or clean up the kitchen. Any little thing helps to take some stress away from Mom.
Make sure to talk to your wife about ways you want to discipline children. Both of you should be on the same page when it comes to setting rules and boundaries for your kids.
When you get home from work, see what your wife needs help with instead of plopping down on the couch and watching TV. There’s always time for that in the evening, but your wife will certainly appreciate a helping hand in the household chores.

2 – The mounting household chores can get overwhelming.

A study found that 20% of moms say that not having enough help around the house contributes to their daily stress. Wives allocate more of their time to housework, while men spend more of their time in leisure. Women must often clean, cook, wash clothes, pay bills, manage the budget, and do other tasks that help keep the family afloat. Taking all of this on as one person can get overwhelming very quickly. However, doing chores as a team promotes bonding and can even be fun if you play some music and talk about your day as you move through the tasks.

Ways dads can help:

Have shared household responsibilities, or at least do them together.
Tell your wife you appreciate what she does for the family
Have your parents or grandparents watch the kids for a night or two, so you and the wife can have some much-needed quiet time without chores.

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3 – Women often feel alone in parenting and are strained for time.

If women work full-time and care for their children at night, they will undoubtedly feel strained. Tending to the child’s needs, making dinner, cleaning, paying bills, and doing all the expected duties can take a toll. Plus, their man might work more hours so the woman can come home to their child, but parenting alone is no easy feat. In addition to feelings of loneliness with parenting, feeling constrained to the 24 hours a day to accomplish everything can become overwhelming.

Plus, women often take the blame for feeling guilty when something goes wrong in their family or personal life. This is probably because women feel obligated to care for their families since they are natural nurturers. Guilt can lead to additional stress, especially if something happens to the child when the man is at work or doing other chores.

Ways dads can help:

Try to reduce work hours to help out around the house more. Even if that means working from home a couple of days a week, this could help the woman greatly with the chores and responsibilities.
Give your partner a day at the spa and take over the parenting. She will thank you because moms could use some more self-care days!
Help her with significant decisions so she doesn’t feel as guilty when something goes wrong. Working as a team is always better than doing things alone.

Here are some tips as a whole for reducing stress:

1 – Find social support

Continue working as a team with your partner
Have friends that uplift you and help you mitigate stress
Create an emotional support system
Minimize social stress by unfollowing harmful media pages and reducing or eliminating toxic people from your life

2 – Take care of yourself

While it’s essential to take care of your children and family, you have to fill your cup up as well. Here are some tips on how to do that:

Get enough sleep
Eat balanced meals
Have some alone time devoted to relaxing things like meditation or yoga

Take time for self-care!

3 – Create balance in your life

Try not to over-schedule yourself with activities, and that includes children’s activities as well. Have a healthy balance between work, play, social relationships, leisure time, and children’s needs. Downsize your expectations and demands on yourself to get more out of your obligations and responsibilities.

4 – Foster positive mental health

Getting in the right frame of mind will enhance your relationships and mental health. Plus, you’ll enjoy your kids more if you’re in a good mood and optimistic about life.

Soak up the good times
Remember that the bad times are temporary
Give thanks every day for what you’ve been given.
Focus on what your spouse and kids are bringing to your life, not the stress they cause you
Know that your marriage or relationship will change after having kids, and this is normal. However, it’s no reason to panic or think of divorce as a solution.
Have date nights
Do things that make you laugh
Be patient with yourself and your family
Have play dates with other moms and their kids
Take time for yourself

Final thoughts about how husbands can stress wives out

We’re not here to knock the dads and husbands out there. We know you work hard and do a great job raising your children and families. We’re just here to point out some ways to improve your relationship with your wife and children. In general, be there to help your wife out with whatever she may need. We know it’s not as fun as playing with the kids, but helping to cook dinners, clean up, wash clothes, and pay bills will take a mountain of stress off your woman’s shoulders.

Relationships are teamwork, and you’ll face many battles in this lifetime. However, when you can tackle problems together, they are that much less scary in the long run. Remember, your wife and kids want to spend time with you and cherish every moment, and helping out around the house more allows more time for memories to be made.

Doctors Explain How to Tell When It’s Time for Hospice

March 10, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do your end-of-life plans include a stipulation for hospice care? They should, as the time to make your wishes known, is before you need services.

Throughout the years, you’ve planned for your life with care. Nobody wants to think about dying. Yet, mortality is just as inevitable as birth.

Have you considered what you would do if you or a loved one were diagnosed with a terminal illness? How would you want to live out your final days? Like most people, you want your limited time to be as dignified and pain-free as possible.

In these situations, many people choose hospice for themselves or terminally ill family members. Just hearing the word may elicit anxiety and popular misconceptions. Knowing what palliative or comfort care is and what it is not can broaden your understanding of better end-of-life decisions.

History of Comfort Care

One of our greatest fear of dying is that we do not want to suffer. Maybe you have watched a terminally ill love one racked in pain and suffering a deplorable dying process. You probably vowed that you never wanted that to be your plight.

Palliative care is a relatively new approach to care for the dying. As late as the 1960s, families sought alternative end-of-life care that minimized pain and involved a holistic approach to treat body, mind, and spirit. The first hospice houses in the United States were run by volunteer medical staff with help from their local communities.

Up until recently, palliative and end-of-life care training were sparse for doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals. Excellent medical practice and techniques concentrate on treating diseases and injuries to make people healthy again. Little attention was given to how to keep terminally ill patients comfortable when curative treatments are no longer useful.

Today, comfort care options are available almost everywhere in America, from major medical centers to small privately-owned palliative clinics. Palliative care is a recognized and paid benefit for people who have Medicare, Medicaid, or both. If you or someone in your family is facing terminal illness and further treatments are futile, palliative care is a reassuring option.

Common Misconceptions of Hospice Care

We are all terrified of the unknown, so the correct information we have, the better we can make critical decisions. When you hear the word “hospice” or “palliative care,” what comes to mind? Do you imagine a Dr. Kevorkian giving you a lethal injection if you have a terminal illness?

Isn’t that what palliative care does, and aren’t they mercy killers? While it may seem absurd, many people still believe this myth. Not only does such misinformation mar the mission of comfort care, but it discourages terminally ill patients from using a beneficial service.

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Myth: The cost of hospice

Maybe you have heard that if you sign up for palliative care services, it will cost a fortune. If the government pays for it, then they will confiscate your home and property when you pass. Did you know that comfort care services are guaranteed and paid benefits when you have a medicare supplement?

Myth: You don’t need a cancer diagnosis to qualify

Well, don’t you have to be a cancer patient to be eligible for comfort care? Although many people with terminal cancer choose a palliative route, they are not the only ones on these services. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) is a government agency that outlines a plethora of terminal conditions that make patients eligible for comfort care services.

Myth: You must be in your final days

If you decide to accept palliative care, don’t you have to be on your death bed? So many terminally ill patients suffer needlessly for months because of this tragic misunderstanding. Yes, many accept comfort care services days before dying, but they could have been qualified by their physician up to six months earlier.

Now that you have debunked the harmful myths of palliative care, you know that it is not mercy killing, and you will not lose your home. You do not need to be a cancer patient nor be actively dying to be eligible for the services. You’ve discovered what comfort care isn’t, now see what it is.

The Truth About Hospice Care

Since its conception, our government has worked to define palliative care services and who are eligible. Although each state’s regulations may be slightly different, federal guidelines are the same across the nation. Knowing your rights will help you decide on services when the time comes.

The first step to being eligible for comfort care is to be certified by a licensed physician. Your doctor must verify that you have a terminal condition with a prognosis of six months or less. Some people live past the six- month mark and maybe re-certified.

Did you know that there are no age limits for palliative care? Contrary to myth, comfort care is not just for seniors. Terminally ill juveniles are admitted to services with different rules for consideration.

To be eligible for palliative care, you agree with your doctor that further treatment would be futile. This does not mean that you can’t continue treatment that is reducing pain or improving the quality of your remaining life. If you decide to continue treatment for the disorder, you will no longer be qualified for comfort services.

What to Expect from Palliative Services?

Comfort care does not seek to shorten life, nor does it seek to lengthen the process). Rather, the focus of hospice is to place the quality of life over quantity. It aims to ensure patients” comfort, dignity, and the right to make choices for themselves.

Most palliative services offer care options that are tailored to the needs and desires of patients and their families. If you dread the thoughts of passing in a sterile hospital or nursing home, hospices are well-known for end-of-life care in the comforts of home. Maybe you don’t want your family to see you pass at home, so you can have palliative care in a facility or wherever you choose.

Some palliative care organizations run hospice homes that are staffed around the clock. These facilities have a warm, relaxing atmosphere like home. Your family can be with you the whole time with the support of compassionate caregivers.

Who Serves Hospice Patients?

When you register for comfort care services, you will have more than a nurse taking your vitals once a week. Comfort care services utilize a multi-disciplinary team made up of medical professionals, social workers, spiritual care advisors, and trained, caring volunteers. At all times, you and your family make the decisions for your care.

The medical director will work with nurses, STNAs, and therapists to monitor your condition and make any changes for pain management. Your team social worker can help you and your family with issues that arise in family dynamics and final planning. If you need spiritual support and counseling, team chaplains and counselors will be there for you and your family.

One of the most significant complaints of hospice patients is the lack of social interaction. Palliative service organizations have trained volunteers from the community who visit patients regularly, as the patient wants. These compassionate people are often with their patients throughout the end-of-life journey.

Palliative Care Is Not Always the End

Just because you are eligible for palliative care does not mean you have no hope. Although a doctor may certify that your life expectancy is six months or less, many people outlive their prognoses. Some people have a turn-around in their health and are no longer eligible for services.

At any time, you and your family have a right to cancel comfort care and resume curative treatments. If you choose, you can later be readmitted. You have the right and dignity to choose as you please with these services.

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Final Thoughts: Make Your Wish for Hospice Care When the Time is Right Known to Your Family

The end of life is an inevitable path we must all make. However, you do not have to make the journey alone. When you opt for palliative care, you join hands with caring professionals who meet the needs of your triune being of body, mind, and spirit.

After your physician determines you are eligible for palliative care, you and your family may search for a local hospice service that best suits your needs. Feel free to research different companies and read online comments and recommendations. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about their services, policies, and qualifications.

Any reputable palliative organization will welcome your inquiries and will be open to prospective interviews. You must choose an organization that is warm, professional, and will meet your needs during this critical time. Additionally, you and your family need professionals who keep regular communication and work together to keep you comfortable.

Comfort care is a viable option for people who want to follow the natural progression of dying. You may be one of the millions of people who refuse to be connected to machines with no hope of waking. All you want is to pass in comfort, surrounded by your friends and loved ones.

For more information about palliative care and regulations in your state, talk to your doctor and do some online research. Choosing palliative care services for end-of-life care is your right. Furthermore, once you discover how palliative care can benefit you or a loved one, the journey of passing maybe a little easier.

Psychology Explains How Positive Reinforcement Shapes Child Behavior

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

It would be a perfect world if there were a parenting manual with all of the correct ways to raise a child. With so many ways to discipline undesirable child behavior , a parent often gets lost in deciding what works best for their baby. We’ve got a look into the perspective of positing reinforcement and how it shapes your child as they grow.

What Is Positive Reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement is all about focusing on the proper decisions and behaviors of your child. This way of support communicates to your child the values, practices, and actions that you find essential. Through this type of behavior modification, the idea is that your child feels empowered with the positivity and continues the “good” behavior. Positive reinforcement has a positive effect on the entire family, creating a better environment in the home. Good and bad decisions are thrown out the window only to be left with praise for the positive.

Teaching Good Behaviors

Punishment often sends a child into a downward spiral. Positive reinforcement is about teaching behavior instead of punishment for the child. This type of discipline encourages excellent decision-making skills instead of praising or punishing them afterward. They focus on identifying the action that is wrong and works to correct it instead of trying to change the child. This is more of teaching behavior and mutual respect rather than a set punishment to the child.

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The Difference Between Positive Reinforcement And Punishment

There is a difference between reinforcement and punishment. In psychology, operant conditioning brings up the fact that positive and negative do not necessarily mean good and bad. Positive means you are bringing or adding something to the equation. Negative means you are taking away something from life. Reinforcement means the behavior is increased. Punishment means the action is decreased. Positive and negative reinforcers directly affect the behavioral response of a person. Most punishing tactics reduce this behavioral response.

Change The Behavior, Not The Child

Positive discipline complements the behavior instead of the person. The idea is that this positive movement motivates the child. They focus on skills to overcome their other actions. There are inherent qualities in personalities that are difficult to change, but positive discipline helps the child learn to control these behaviors. This type of leadership and guidance helps the emotional relationship between the child and the parent as well. Compassion is encouraged, so the child doesn’t feel negative emotions.

Praise Your Child

One way to discipline in this way is to praise your child. When you give them praise, you promote their empathy, self-esteem, and positive thinking. This does not mean giving them endless praise. The parent does need to guide them to the correct path when they are showing wrong behaviors. They must boost confidence and praise things that deserve this praise instead of just praising everything. The child will still make mistakes. The parent can point these out in a loving, teaching way.

Positivity Leaves The Labels at the Door

Behavior modification becomes almost impossible when a child is labeled as “bad.” When they don’t have any positive discipline, they often get stuck feeling like they can’t do anything right. Psychologists say it’s best to refrain from labeling children. Instead of punishing them by telling them all of the things they’re doing wrong and calling them short-tempered, angry or aggressive, encourage good behaviors. Modify these behaviors by giving them a positive outlook. Encourage the practices that bring positivity instead of punishment. Labeling children gives them the right to accept this is who they are, and many find they cannot change.

The Effects of Negative Discipline

Negative discipline is a real thing. Many parents go overboard with negative punishment, which can impact the child psychologically as well as physically at times. If a child feels everything they do is wrong, they will begin to feel they are wrong as a while. Negative discipline just stops the child in their tracks. Even if a parent is nagging a child to do something over and over, they feel beaten down. Instead, the parent should try to reinforce the behavior giving them praise for doing what they need to do. It’s better to praise the steps that lead them to do the chore instead of nagging them and scaring them into doing the task.

Verbal Positive Discipline In Tasks

When a child does something “good” on their own, it’s up to the parent to praise them verbally. Yes, it is something they “should” do as children, but often the child gets lost innocently doing other things. They may not “mean” to not get to their homework, but they get lost playing video games and forget the time. The parent should praise the times when they do get down to business. When the parent focuses on the actual process of doing the chore, the child is guided back on track to do it. Instead of the parent just telling them they’re smart, they should focus on the positivity in the task itself instead of the behavior.

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Celebrating Efforts

Positive reinforcement is not only about punishment but about celebrating efforts. It’s about celebrating the great things the child does at all times. Encouragement pushes children to do their best. They’re often more willing to take chances. It’s crucial as parents to teach the children that things in life are usually scary, but it’s about overcoming these obstacles. The child will fail at times, but it’s crucial to build confidence in their minds.

Time To Be Specific

Encouraging behaviors through praise instead of a process often change negative behaviors. It’s essential to be specific in reinforcement to the child. Plus, it is vital to do it right when the situation happens. Finally, it is also important and powerful to give them reinforcement as soon as you catch them doing something positive.

It takes practice for a parent to notice your child’s positive behaviors at all times. This doesn’t mean throwing them rewards every time they throw something in the trash. It means immediate rewards in words at that time. You can also set up a reward system, so they earn stickers or tokens each time they do a positive behavior. This makes them work harder at doing positive responses.

Scheduling Reinforcement

Though parents shouldn’t praise their children too much to the point they take it for granted, it’s important to schedule this type of reinforcement. As the child is learning a new behavior, the parent should offer positive guidance consistently. It’s the same as if you were going to work and only getting paid on random occasions. The child needs to know there is “payment” as in praise. If not, they begin to feel their actions do not affect, whether positive or negative. The behaviors can only be changed or learned if they are reinforced.

How To Avoid Accidents

Many times a parent will accidentally reinforce negative actions. They might not mean to, but they will give attention to these actions. If they ignore negative behaviors, the child is more prone to have a response. If the parent just yells at the child for all of their adverse reaction, the child learns nothing. When a parent gives in to the child, they’re saying that behavior is allowed in their home. When a parent gives in to a child whining for sugar, the child’s whining is positively reinforced. The child only learned they could complain until they get what they want like a baby. It is better when the child shows a negative behavior for the parent to stick to their standards without reinforcing the behavior.

Parenting Win

Positive reinforcement isn’t all about the children. Parents can win, too. The practices of positive reinforcement as popular because they’re easy to implement once you get it down, and they’re a straightforward aspect to discipline. This behavior usually becomes habitual quickly. The parents can see faster results. This makes most parents feel confident in their abilities as parents. Many times parents think they are failing when their child makes an adverse decision. This type of discipline leaves them with happy children making parenting more enjoyable. Of course, the child may get angry about other issues, but they’ll be able to put more confidence in their parents, creating a better environment. The target behavior is rewarded without any confusion to the child. The parent is rewarded because the children seem to understand this type of discipline on another level.

Final Thoughts: Positive Reinforcement Is a Parent’s Best Friend

Former Dean of Freshman at Stanford University Julia Lythcott-Haims says that all of these disciplinary measures come down to the fact that happiness in life comes from love. This means that human beings that surround children bring them the love that brings them joy. It does not come from work or school. Positive reinforcement is about a healthy balance of respect and discipline that best pushes our children in a positive direction as they grow older.

10 Red Flags Someone is Struggling with Delusions

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Delusions are a firmly held belief in something untrue. The thought remains even when a trusted friend or loved one provides incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

For instance, if someone utterly believes that a troupe of trolls lives in their mattress and steals food at night, they have a delusion. Perhaps you rip open their bed to show them that there are no trolls. They still will not believe you.

The term delusional disorder has ruled the hallmarks of insanity for centuries. Delusion may come with many different mental and neurological disorders and present differently from person to person. They are challenging to treat.

Someone suffering from delusional disorder usually can function reasonably well in day-to-day life. If you know someone struggling with them, it can be very frustrating and concerning. These ten signs to watch out for can help you determine if someone you know is dealing with delusions so you can try to get them the aid they need.

10 Signs Someone Has Delusions

1. Hallucinations

A delusional disorder itself is not usually accompanied by hallucinations, although it can be. According to Harvard Medical School, hallucinations typically occur concerning the delusion. For instance, a delusional conviction that someone is attempting to poison you may cause sensory hallucinations as well. You may hallucinate that you smell or taste something in your food and water.

Deluded ideas do not only occur when an individual has a delusional disorder. Most often, if a person is dealing with delusion and hallucinations. Indeed, it is a symptom of another mental disease most often. Conditions such as schizophrenia may cause a person to experience both.

Someone who is experiencing a hallucination has a sensory event happen that no one else around them can detect. A visual illusion involves them seeing something no one else can, or an auditory one impacts their hearing. To the afflicted individual, the event is genuine, even though no one else senses it happening.

2. Irritability or anger

For the person dealing with delusions, the idea is real and a part of their life. Often other people not understanding their delusional belief will irritate them. Since it is a reality in their mind, it should be one to you, too.

Other times, the delusional person becomes angry and irritated because of the effects of their delusion. One type of illusion, persecutory delusion, causes the afflicted person to believe others are out to get them. They may adopt a “me against the world” mentality to combat the persecution they think they are experiencing.

This study that was published in the Schizophrenia Bulletin found that the type of delusion is a determiner of anger and violence. A person who believes that they are followed, spied upon, or experimented upon is much more likely to be angry or violent. In their mind, it is merely self-defense because they are genuinely convinced others are doing them harm.

3. Depression

Many people with delusions are well aware that other people don’t believe or understand them. Knowing that no one relates to them and their experiences can be very difficult for them and cause depression. Even though they realize that no one is experiencing the same thing, it is not enough to break their off perception of reality.

Depression takes on several forms; if you notice any of these symptoms of depression, don’t ignore them. Depression can lead to an increased chance of self-injury. A person suffering from delusion and depression is at an even higher risk of self-harm.

If you notice depressive symptoms in a loved one dealing with delusions, empathy can be a powerful tool. Treating them with gentleness and understanding can help prevent the worsening of associated symptoms like depression. You have to remember that they cannot recognize the falsity of their ideas.

4. Withdrawal from family and friends

Hand in hand with depression comes the need to retreat. As the person dealing with delusions falls deeper into the path the delusion takes them, the more they get pulled away from those close to them. This is especially true when the delusion is causing paranoia, as in those who are convinced they are being watched or followed.

Just like helping a loved one deal with depression, love and compassion are critical if the delusional person is pulling away. Their need for a support system is vital. To help prevent their withdrawal, try to be accessible and understanding when they talk to you.

Remember, being understanding is not the same as validating their delusion. You do not have to pretend they are right to help them feel cared for. Just allowing them to vent their feelings can be enough to let them know you’re on their side.

5. Narcissistic behavior

Delusions of grandeur are one of the most widespread delusion categories. You might witness their genuine belief in amazing, super abilities, or specialness. Narcissistic tendencies can unfold from these ideas.

A narcissistic person thinks they deserve special treatment and that they are always the victim in an unpleasant situation. For example, if a narcissist picks a fight with you and you choose to defend yourself, they will only tell others about how you attacked them. Their whole perception of life is skewed and centered around themselves.

6. Nervousness and anxiety

Persecutory delusions can cause genuine fear and anxiety in the afflicted person. Because they believe others are out to get them, they feel an intense need to defend themselves or to hide. The more intense the injury they perceive, the more their anxiety is amplified.

If you notice someone you love who begin to hide, close their curtains during the day, or look over their shoulder when they’re out, they may have a persecutory delusion. Please note, this is not a delusion if someone genuinely is stalking them, and they are afraid. In the case of the deluded soul, it is a fragment of their imagination that someone is watching or following them.

Recognizing the symptoms of anxiety can help you understand your loved one, who is stressed by their imagined troubles. Moreover, the snowball effect of their mental disorder and anxiety can make things even worse.

7. Schizophrenia diagnosis

Schizophrenia and delusional thinking go hand in hand. More importantly, schizophrenia and other similar mental disorders prevent the person from perceiving reality as it truly is. It is easy to see how this leads to a spike in delusions.

Deluded ideas are a hallmark symptom of schizophrenia. Knowing a person has a diagnosis of schizophrenia or another mental disorder means you should be on the lookout for any of these other red flags. The chances are excellent that they will suffer from one or more delusions.

8. Unusual behavior

Living in a world that is different than reality, the deluded person may carry on discussions that are outlandish to you. This is the impact of their unique delusion. It makes sense only to them, as it relates to their idea.

Also, easily noticed with delusions are odd behavioral patterns. For instance, a person who is convinced that they are the victim of spying may begin a paranoid examination of their house every night looking for proof. In their mind, it is entirely rational to toss their home looking for microphones and cameras.

9. Larger than life stories

Delusions that are grandiose or persecutory are especially likely to cause this symptom. The afflicted person may tell you entirely implausible stories, such as Kate Middleton is stalking them. The more utterly convinced of this bizarre idea they are, the surer you can bet that they have a delusion.

Remember, this is not the same as lying. People lie with the intention to deceive the listener. The delusional person is quite sure of the truth of what they are telling you, even though you know it is false. In other words, the person with delusions believes that they are relaying a true fact.

10. The person remains convinced after you show them the truth

The final indicator of someone suffering from delusions is their absolute commitment to the story. If you can’t shake them from their belief, no matter what they’re told or shown, they have a genuine delusion. Moreover, no intervention or discussion on your part is ever going to change their mind.

It is important to note that religious beliefs that others in a community or culture share are not delusions, even if they are not right, per se. You should not consider someone as delusional if they have a different religion or social outlook than you do. These convictions run very strong and are a normal aspect of human nature.

Final Thoughts: What can you do to help a person struggling with delusions?

Does someone you know exhibit these red flags, and you feel the need to aid them? Then proceed cautiously. Be careful about how you approach it. The delusional person is not entirely rational. Thus, they will likely feel misunderstood or attacked.

The best thing you can do for your loved one is to be compassionate. Further, encourage them to seek support from a trained medical professional. Finally, let them know you’ll be there every step of the way.

12 Reasons Why Positive Singles Attract a Partner With Less Effort

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you ever wonder why some of your friends attract a partner effortlessly while you and others struggle to capture the interest of your crush? It seems as though some people hold all the lucky cards when it comes to dating and relating. And that leaves others sitting by on the sidelines. The secret to why positive singles attract partners quickly has little to do with chance and a lot to do with science.

12 Reasons Why Positive Singles Win in the Dating Game

The reason that positive people find it so easy to attract partners is that they have personality traits that are known to draw people closer to them. These traits have been shown to make people not only more successful in love but in their careers and personal life as well.

1 – Being a Good Listener

Positive people are generally good listeners. They tend to practice active listening, in which they tune out distractions and tune in to what the other person is saying. And, they mirror the person’s words and listen to understand. Thus, they may remember small details in the conversation and bring them up later, showing the other person that they care deeply. They often listen with intent and are totally present in the moment. They don’t allow their mind to wander or check their phones while the other person is talking. Because of this trait, people are naturally attracted to them.

Mirroring is a sign of attraction.

2 – Understanding Body Language

Positive singles are great at deciphering body language. They can tell if a person is stressed or happy, tense, or excited. Because of this, they can often mirror their partner’s moods, making them more likable. They listen with both their ears and their eyes, and this draws people to them. On dates, they lean in when their partners lean in. They are open to affection if they sense that their dates are as well. People are often wildly attracted to people who are likable, and this high level of empathy only boosts people’s attraction to them.

3 – Kindness and Compassion

People love people who are kind and compassionate. If you are always doing good for others, displaying high levels of empathy, and doing good deeds, people will be instantly attracted to you. Positive people are often naturally kind, and this means that people want to spend more time around them. Helpful people are also perceived as better partners, so it is no wonder that the lady that volunteers at the nursing home is more likely to find a partner. According to a study published in 2019 in the British Journal of Psychology, both men and women consistently express attraction to those who exhibit the trait of kindness.

4 – Smiling

Smiling serves a dual purpose when it comes to attracting a mate. First, smiling gives you an endorphin boost that instantly puts you in a better mood. Second, studies have shown that people enjoy an endorphin boost when they look at smiling faces. If you want people to like you, it helps to flash those pearly whites. The University of Bern, Switzerland, conducted a study and found that people who are smiling are consistently rated as more attractive than those with neutral expressions.

Learn what your smile tells the world about you.

5 – Laughing

Laughing radiates happiness, and there are few things that are more attractive than a happy person. When it comes to attracting a mate, laughing can do wonders.

Laughing lowers your stress level and the stress level of those around you. When a person finds themselves laughing with you, they naturally want to spend more time with you. This leads to higher levels of attraction overall. Laughing with a potential partner lays the foundation for a deep connection, long-lasting friendship, and eventually, love. This is one of the main reasons that positive singles find it so easy to attract a mate. They laugh and smile and make the people around them feel great.

6 – Self-confidence

Confident people instantly draw people to them. When a person exudes confidence, it puts people around them at ease. People consistently rate confident people as more attractive, and singles love to feed off of their positive energy. People who are optimistic draw people to them, which makes it more likely that they will find a romantic partner. On the flip side, people who are self-conscious, loathing, and depressive often repel people from them.

Positive people often feel good about themselves and exude confidence wherever they go. This has a self-fulfilling effect on their lives. Because they are more confident, people tend to like them more and treat them better. Because they are treated better, they are happier and smile more. Therefore, because they smile and laugh more, people are more attracted to them. When it comes to attracting a mate, confidence is its own reward.

7 – Being on Time

While most people don’t think of this trait as being attractive to other singles, it is a small habit that goes a long way. Being on time sends the signal to others that you value them and their time. You don’t keep them waiting because you think they are worth showing up for. Being on time gives the signal that you honor your commitments and are responsible and mature. When you show up late consistently, you are telling people that your time is more important than theirs, and they are not relevant to you. Show up on time if you want to be able to attract partners with zero effort.

8 – Traditional Gender Roles

This one might raise a few eyebrows, but the research backs us up. As it turns out, men and women who act in “traditional” ways have an easier time attracting a mate than those that don’t. Feminine women who wear dresses and heels consistently rate as more attractive than those who don’t. Men who engage in typically “masculine” hobbies and behaviors often score high in the attraction category. Studies have also shown that women who wear the color red are often seen as highly attractive.

Fair or not, these stereotypes mean that those who dress traditionally are viewed as “positive singles” over those who do not.

9 – Being a Pet Owner

Walking a dog is a great way to meet other people. It’s not surprising, then, that singles who are out for a pleasant walk in the park with their dog are more likely to attract people with little to no effort. Spending time with a pet is a well-reputed natural mood booster. So people whose pets are often happier and in better moods than those without. Taking care of pets can also bring out a nurturing spirit, and this can also attract people to you with no effort.

10 – Flirting

Singles that flirt often attract partners more quickly than those that don’t put out these non-verbal cues. Men tend to flirt by making themselves look bigger. Sticking their chest out, talking loudly, and showing off the more muscular parts of their body are ways that men tend to express their interest in women. Women tend to flirt by flipping their hair, smiling, acting shy, and sitting in a way that shows their openness (arms unfolded, palms facing upward). Singles that flirt and show that they are open to affection from others often find it easier to attract partners than those that don’t tease.

11 – Positive Thinking

While it may seem obvious, many people do not understand the connection between positive thinking and attracting a mate. People who think positive often draw people toward them because they are refreshing to be around. If you have ever been around someone who is always negative, you will understand how attractive a positive thinker can be.

When people have a “glass half full” mentality, they naturally attract people to them. They often enjoy a more abundant life, filled with laughter, smiles, friends, and enjoyable experiences. They draw people to them like moths to a flame. This makes finding a mate an effortless proposition for them. They already believe they are going to see what they’re looking for, and they are more likely to find it.

12 – Authenticity and Vulnerability

Positive singles attract partners with zero effort because they allow themselves to be seen as vulnerable and even weak. They enable people to see them as a whole, authentic people who may be a little awkward and unsure of themselves at times. While this may seem to directly contradict the notion that people like confident people, it actually does not. People understand that even the most confident person has moments of weakness, and by allowing this part of themselves to shine through, positive singles make themselves look irresistible to potential partners.

Final Thoughts: Positive Singles Attract Partners With Less Effort

When it comes to being able to attract a partner with zero effort, some people simply understand attraction better than others. You, too can learn the art and science of attraction by studying which qualities shine through and make people instantly fall in love with you. From being vulnerable to flirting, being a good listener, to smiling, the science agrees that positive people are more likely to attract mates. Enhance your natural positive characteristics, enjoy a positive outlook, and you will find partners instantly drawn to you with little to no effort on your part.

Urologists Explain Why You Shouldn’t Ignore Blood in Urine

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Blood in the urine is more formally known as hematuria. There are two types: gross and microscopic. The patient can spot gross hematuria. But only a doctor can detect microscopic hematuria. In microscopic hematuria, the doctor detects a few red blood cells while performing a urine test. The urine, however, still looks relatively healthy. In gross hematuria, by contrast, there are enough blood cells in the urine to turn it pink, red, or even nearly black.

Treatment for hematuria will depend on the cause, and there are many different causes. Some reasons, like menstruation or intercourse, are benign. Others, like cancer, are far more serious. Consequently, anybody who sees blood in their urine should call their doctor.

Causes of Blood in the Urine

Here are some reasons why you might see some blood when you urinate.

1. Urinary Tract Infection

Perhaps urinary tract infections (UTI) are the most common cause of blood in urine, mainly microscopic hematuria. Urinary tract infections are most common in women; in fact, about 50 percent of women will have at least one UTI during her lifetime. In addition to blood in the urine, other symptoms of a urinary tract infection can include the following: a strong and persistent urge to urinate, cloudy and pungent urine, and daily production of small amounts of urine. Women may also experience pain in the pelvic region, particularly around the pubic bone.

There are three main types of UTI, and each one can have different symptoms in addition to the ones listed above. Acute pyelonephritis is a severe infection of the kidneys and can be life-threatening; it is most common in pregnant women.

Chronic pyelonephritis describes repeated kidney infections and is more likely in children or people with a history of repeated UTIs. People with either type may develop the following symptoms: Pus in the urine, a fever of at least 102° F (39° C), and urine that smells like fish.

A bladder infection is called cystitis, and it is both more common and less severe than a kidney infection. The patient will have flu-like symptoms and a fever of at least 100.4° F (38° C).

Urethritis is a bacterial infection of the urethra. Its main symptom is pain while urinating, but it can also cause pain during intercourse, trouble starting urination, discharge from the vagina or urethra opening, and an urgent need to urinate. Men may also find blood in their semen.

2. Kidney or Bladder Stones

Kidney and bladder stones can cause microscopic or gross hematuria by irritating or abrading the urinary tract. Both types of stones form from minerals in concentrated urine. They initially become crystals on walls of the bladder or kidney and gradually become hard and small stones. The stones don’t cause any symptoms until they are traveling down the urinary tract, where they can create a blockage.

Kidney stones can cause symptoms like severe pain in the back, side, or abdomen, pain while urinating, cloudy and foul-smelling urine, small amounts of urine being produced, a constant need to urinate, nausea, vomiting, fever, and chills.

Bladder stones can cause similar symptoms, but the pain is usually confined to the lower abdomen. They are most common in men over 50.

3. Vigorous Exercise

Vigorous exercise can also cause blood in the urine. Exercise-induced hematuria has a variety of names, such as “stress hematuria,” “runner’s bladder,” “post-exertional hematuria,” and “marathoner’s hematuria.” It is most common in long-distance runners. Dehydration is a known risk factor. Exercise-induced hematuria is generally benign, but if it lasts longer than two or three days, the athlete should call their doctor.

The science journal Renal Failure published a 2014 study in which researchers worked with male runners between 20 and 50 years old. Around 12 percent of them developed hematuria after running, and it was particularly common in the participants who were under 30. The researchers also found that the intensity of the exercise rather than its duration affected the risk of developing hematuria. Athletes who had to run a given distance within a set time were much more likely to develop hematuria than those who ran the same length with no time limit. The scientists also found that three of the participants had early kidney disease, as their urine remained bloody for two weeks after their runs.

4. Trauma

Any injury of the urinary tract can cause hematuria. Most such injuries involve the kidneys, and common causes of kidney injuries include automobile accidents, sports injuries, falls, bullet wounds, and stab wounds. Less common causes include various medical procedures like kidney stone treatments or kidney biopsies.

Injuries to the urinary tract system can also involve the bladder, urethra, or ureters. As with the kidneys, any trauma to the pelvic area can injure a part of the urinary tract. Untreated injuries of the urinary tract can lead to complications like incontinence, infection, high blood pressure, or kidney failure.

5. Polycystic Kidney Disease

Polycystic kidney disease is a common genetic disorder in which multiple cysts grow on and in the kidneys. Around 500,000 people in the United States alone have the condition. There are two types of PKD. Autosomal dominant PKD (ADPKD) is usually diagnosed in adults and is believed to affect one out of every 400 to 1000 people globally. Autosomal recessive PKD (ARPKD) is congenital; doctors can detect it shortly after birth or even before. One out of every 20,000 children in the world has ARPKD.

PKD is a type of chronic kidney disease that can eventually cause kidney failure. It can also cause other complications like high blood pressure, abnormalities in the blood vessels of the heart and brain, and liver cysts. Such complications, along with pain and hematuria, are also symptoms of ADPKD. An infant with ARPKD will be smaller than average but have enlarged kidneys.

6. Endometriosis

Endometriosis is a common condition in which uterine lining tissue grows outside the womb. It affects about 11 percent of women between 15 and 44 years old in the United States, and it is especially common in women in their 30s and 40s. Endometriosis is a common cause of female infertility.

According to a case study published by the journal Quantitative Imaging in Medicine and Surgery in 2015, only about one or two percent of endometriosis cases affect the urinary tract system. Over 4/5 of such cases involve the bladder, while most of the remainder affect the ureters. Symptoms of bladder endometriosis include blood in the urine, pain around the pubic area, and an urgent need to urinate.

7. Some Medications

Some medications increase the risk of bleeding and can thus cause hematuria. Examples include aspirin, clopidogrel (Plavix), and warfarin (Coumadin). Blood thinners like heparin can cause gross hematuria. Penicillin and an anti-cancer drug called cyclophosphamide can cause urinary bleeding.

8. Enlarged Prostate

Many men developed an enlarged prostate as they enter middle age. The prostate is located right below the bladder and encircles the urethra. When the prostate becomes enlarged, it squeezes the urethra and thus partly blocks the flow of urine. In addition to blood in the urine, an enlarged prostate can also cause trouble urinating and a constant need to urinate. Prostatitis or infection of the prostate can cause the same symptoms.

Bladder Cancer

Bladder cancer is the fourth most common cancer in men; according to the American Cancer Society, about 62,100 men are diagnosed with it every year, as compared to 19,300 women. It is most common in older people; 73 is the average age at diagnosis. Bladder cancer is more common in white people than in blacks or Hispanics.

There are several different types of bladder cancer, with urothelial carcinoma or transitional cell carcinoma being by far the most common. It originates within the cells that line the interior wall of the bladder. The urothelial cells line other parts of the urinary tract so that cancer can spread. The doctor will have to check the whole urinary tract for tumors.

Less common types of bladder cancer include squamous cell carcinoma, small cell carcinoma, adenocarcinoma, and sarcoma. Regardless of type, blood in the urine is usually the first sign. The patient may have either gross or microscopic hematuria. As with many conditions affecting the urinary tract, the patient may have trouble urinating, pain while urinating, or urinary incontinence. Other symptoms of bladder cancer can include recurrent urinary tract infections, pain in the pelvic area or back, loss of appetite, weight loss, swollen feet, and bone pain.

Learn what the color of your pee reveals about your health.

Final Thoughts of Seeing Blood in the Urine

Hematuria has many causes, and some of them are serious. Thus, if you find blood in your urine, you need to call a doctor – even if your urine looks normal the next time that you go to the bathroom. Bladder cancer is highly survivable if caught early. In fact, you will have at least a 70 percent chance of surviving the next five years if the doctor finds it before it spreads.

Other conditions may lead to complications like kidney failure if they aren’t treated. Your doctor can tell you, after ordering several tests, what you have and how serious it is.

20 Be Positive Quotes That Will Warm the Coldest Heart

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Life can be a series of intense challenges that make us wonder what the purpose is. We can face storms that seem unending and mountains that seem impossible. Amid life’s challenges, it helps to think of the best “be positive” quotes to help us get back in the race and keep playing in the game of life.

20 Be Positive Quotes to Warm Your Heart

1. “I’ve always thought that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.” -James Baldwin

The power of your life is in your mind. Your life will be a manifestation of your thoughts, which will drive your actions. You can choose either to think positively or to think negatively. A lot of life just happens to us, and we have no control over it. We can, however, control how we look at these situations and how we react to them. This is a favorite be positive quotes for every person who needs to keep their thoughts positive.

2. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” -Theodore Roosevelt

Believing in yourself is a huge part of the success equation. When you believe you can do it, you have mastered the hardest part of your challenge ahead. Many people fail not because they are not talented or smart, but because they don’t believe in themselves.

3. “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can change my sails to always reach my destination.” -Jimmy Dean

So much of what happens in life is outside of our control. What is in our control, however, is the ability to course-correct and stay on track to our goals. Sometimes life requires adjusting. The key is to keep heading in the right direction.

4. “Life is like riding a bicycle, in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.”-Albert Einstein

In life, things will happen that will knock us off track. The key is to keep moving, keep going forward, and not to stop and give up. This heartwarming quote reminds us to keep going, despite the obstacles in our path.

5. “Limit your always and your nevers.” -Amy Poehler

Thinking in terms of absolutes can limit you in life. You don’t “always” fail, nor will you “never” succeed at something. Understanding that there are shades of gray is the best way to keep your thinking positive.

6. “You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” -C.S. Lewis

Many people give up because they think that their season has passed and it’s too late to do something extraordinary. Some people start new businesses, create new inventions, and rebuild their lives later in life. Never give up.

7. “Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.” –Maya Angelou

Everyone you know is fighting their own internal battles and struggles. Try to be a shining light in their life, someone they can count on for a heartwarming word of encouragement, a smile, or a mood boost.

8. “You don’t find the happy life, you make it.” -Camilla Eyring Kimball

Life does not always go as planned. If you want a happy life, you have to create it yourself. Surround yourself with people and things that enhance your life and make it happy.

9. “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes, our minds are our own worst enemies. If you ever think you cannot do something, change your mind and tell yourself that you absolutely can.

10. “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -Joseph Campbell

Sometimes the life that we planned doesn’t happen. This doesn’t mean that we can’t have an abundant life. When we let go of what could have been, we can enjoy what the next chapter holds. Many people reinvent their lives after a setback and go on to enjoy better lives than the ones they had.

11. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” –Mahatma Gandhi

If you want to see the world change, let it begin with you. If you want to see more kindness, love, and gentleness, be the kind, loving, and gentle person to those around you. Change starts from within, and even if you can’t change the entire world, we can change little things about our world and the world of those around us.

12. “You are enough, just as you are.” -Megan Markle

Sometimes we feel as though we are not enough. It can be easy to see others doing more and being more and feel inadequate. This is one of the be positive quotes to remind us that we are good enough. Comparing ourselves to others can only make us feel worse about ourselves. Remember that we are enough, just the way we are, no matter what others around us are doing.

13. “Don’t wait, the time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill

The time will never be perfect for pursuing your goals. The best thing to do is get started, even in a small way. In many cases, we put off the things we want in life because we feel the timing is not right. Our finances are not in order. We’re not the perfect size. We don’t have the right set of circumstances. The reality is that the time will never be just right, so the key is just to get started.

14. “Motivation comes from working on things that we care about.” -Sheryl Sandberg

When we work on things that are important to us, we find energy and inspiration. Motivation comes from putting our energy into those things that bring us joy. Find your passion and feed it if you want to feel alive and full of energy.

15. “The way to get started is to stop talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney

Walt Disney was one of the most prolific business people of the modern age. His quote reminds us that taking action is better than just talking about what we want to do. A lot of times, we talk about what we want to do without taking action. The key is to start moving and start doing to achieve success.

16. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” -Will Rogers

Sometimes we get so caught up in what happened in the past that we can’t enjoy today. This quote reminds us not to let the past hinder us from the present. The past cannot be changed, and dwelling in the past will only stop us from enjoying the future and the present. Letting yesterday take up too much of today is a surefire way to make sure we don’t enjoy what we have now.

17. “The grass is greener where you water it.” -Neil Barringham

It often seems as though the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. The truth is that if we water our grass, it will be green as well. Comparison is the thief of joy, and if we want to live a joyful life, we have to focus on making our lives better instead of comparing ourselves to others.

18. “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” –Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison is known for inventing the light bulb, but most people don’t know that it took him many tries to perfect the invention. He had failed many times before he got it right, but he never gave up. This quotation is one of the best be positive quotes for people who have faced failure after failure and are thinking of quitting.

19. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” -Les Brown

When we live in fear, we block our dreams. This quote reminds us that fear will only inhibit us from living a life of abundance. Our fears can cripple us, tell us we’re not good enough, and generally hold us back from the things we want and need. Living our dreams means quieting our fears and letting our courage take hold.

20. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” -Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh

At times we don’t realize our greatness. We think that we can’t face challenges. We’re not strong enough to keep fighting, and we’re not smart enough to solve problems. This is one of the be positive quotes that remind us that we are greater than we think and that we can do amazing things. Winnie the Pooh was an eternal optimist, so it is no surprise that one of the best be positive quotes comes from him.

Final Thoughts: Remember these “Be Positive” Quotes When Times Get Tough

When it comes to enjoying our lives and living lives of purpose, it helps to remember the best be positive quotes that will motivate us to live our best lives. Life can be full of challenges that can knock us off our feet and divert us from our paths. The key is to remember that behind the storm clouds of life, there are silver linings that help us to enjoy full, productive, and happy lives.

How to Release The Emotional Attachment Of Being Childless In Your 30’s

March 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Are you childless because you chose to focus on your career or didn’t think you were the motherly type? Since the beginning of time, all living things have instinctively known that producing offspring was the only way their species would survive. The more children a couple had, the more clout they often gained in these early civilizations.

Nobody understood the complexity of genetics and human reproduction health, so society once deemed being childless as shameful, especially for women. Unfortunately, women have borne the brunt of reproductive expectations for thousands of years.

Not that it was ever easy for mothers, but women without children were often treated worse. They were often ostracized, scorned, and viewed as oddities of nature. The pressure was on for women to bear children and bring male heirs into the world to continue the family bloodline.

What the world didn’t know was that a man’s reproductive health played just as much a part of the woman, and his chromosomes determined their child’s gender. Most people viewed the man as the slighted victim and the woman as a betrayer.

History Stacked the Deck Against Childless Women

History is overflowing with accounts of enraged men and rulers who blamed their wives for being unable to produce a male heir. One of the most notorious cases was the murderous King Henry VIII of England, who divorced two of his wives and executed them. Sadly, this was not an isolated case in history.

These were cases of women who weren’t childless by choice. For some, the shame and consequences of not having children were more than they could bear. There are many untold stories of barren women throughout history, and the ending wasn’t always so happy.

Most women were so eager to have children that they paid little attention to the risks of childbearing. For thousands of years, childbirth was the leading cause of death among women. Lack of medical knowledge and unsanitary conditions were often the blame.

The Gradual Shift

Most of these historical injustices were incurred against women who longed for children. Unless women joined a religious community and swore vows of chastity, being childless by choice was unthinkable. Women were trained from birth to take their humble place in the world as child-bearers who were subservient to their husbands.

Up until the mid-20th century, large families were the norm in America. In a society with strong rural roots, families needed several children to tend to crops, livestock, and household needs. Parents with 10-20 biological children weren’t viewed as curiosities to parade on television shows.

During World War II, thousands of men and women were battling overseas, leaving a massive vacuum in the American labor market. For the first time, many war brides put domestic duties aside and worked jobs traditionally dominated by men. With this new-found freedom and responsibility, women realized that they could do other things besides being a mother and housewife.

Fast-forward to the Sexual Revolution and Women’s Liberation Movement of the 60s and 70s. Many women stood their ground as equals to men in the workforce and at home. As more families migrated from the farms to the city, the need for large families dwindled. Society was more open about family planning, and single working women and childless couples were more prevalent.

Choosing A Life with No Children

If you are a single woman or in a committed relationship, you don’t have the unconscionable pressure of past eras to have children. It’s perfectly acceptable and doesn’t make or break your worth as a person. Some women and men aren’t “kid-friendly,” and that’s okay.

Even in the 21st century, some stigma remains from past prejudicial attitudes, including those against people without children. Whether or not your fertility is by choice, you may still feel a twist of anxiety as your biological clock is ticking away.

Here are some helpful ways of changing your mindset. Then, you can release the emotional attachment of not having children.

1. Politely Stand Your Ground

After you’ve graduated high school and consider your college and career options, the pressure to find a mate won’t be subtle. Close friends and relatives will usually push the issue as they eagerly wait for you to find Mr. Right. However, marrying or staying single is your choice, and you needn’t apologize or explain.

If you find love in a committed relationship, the next stage of outside interference will be about having children. Parents on both sides may always hint of having grandchildren, and you will often be pushed in all directions. This pressure may hurt your self-esteem and make you feel inferior in others’ eyes.

Nobody has the right to ask you intrusive questions about such a personal subject. To those who continue to have the audacity, stand your ground, and politely reply that it’s not a comfortable subject. Most sensible people will get the hint and will back off.

What do you do in a case when someone is persistent? If you’ve done everything to politely deflect the nosey questions, feel free to stop the conversation immediately. Let the offender know that if the inappropriate queries continue, you will be parting ways.

2. Find Your Self-Worth in Other Parts of Your Life

Being a parent may be a cherished aspect of your life, but it doesn’t define you. If you can’t have children or choose not to, don’t allow it to erode your self-esteem. Concentrate on the many facets of your life that make you an extraordinary individual.

If you can’t have children, allow yourself to go through the grief process without judging yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong, and you are just as good as anybody else. You may find solace and inspiration in your mate and the things you do together.

3. Pour Your Kindness into Other Kids

Maybe you decided not to have children for practical reasons. Some people don’t want the responsibility of raising kids in today’s scary world. You may be focused on your career, love to travel, or cherish solitude.

Just because you don’t have children of your own doesn’t mean you don’t love them. The beauty of having young nieces, nephews, or godchildren is that you can “borrow” them for a day of fun, and then you can promptly return them to their parents. You can often fulfill your parental instincts by being kind to little ones in your family and circle of close friends.

4. Spend Time with Like-Minded Friends

You needn’t turn your back on friends and family who have children. When you observe some of their trials of being a parent, you may be glad you’re not one. If you want children but cannot have them, attending baby showers and listening to conversations about kids can be hurtful.

Be assured that you are not alone, whether you’ve opted to be child-free or not. You’ll find many people among family and friends who are in the same situation. Form a support system of like-minded individuals with who you can laugh and cry without the burden of unfair criticism.

By conducting some online research, you will find many support groups and other social circles that focus on childless couples. You can also talk to a social service organization about live groups that meet in your area. Remember that there’s power in numbers.

5. Be Selective About What You Watch or Read

As you stand in line for checkout in the grocery store, you’ll notice a plethora of women’s magazines geared toward parenting. Many books, movies, and television shows reinforce women’s outdated social norms as mothers and homemakers. That may be fine for women who chose a family, but it doesn’t nearly fit society and their right to choose this lifestyle.

Consider many of the classic fairy tales of evil stepmothers and child-eating witches. These dreadful villainesses are usually childless, while the heroines are beautiful princesses ready for marriage and children. It was no accident that women without offspring were portrayed with such blatant mischaracterization.

You might enjoy some parent-children oriented media, but it doesn’t have to be your only choice. Many books, magazines, and websites are dedicated to life-long single people or those who are childless by choice. Some of the articles and first-person accounts may solidify the facts that you aren’t alone, and your decision does not diminish you as a person.

6. Maybe You’re Not a “Kid Person.”

Not every person has parental instincts or can cope with the countless responsibilities of raising a child. Perhaps you don’t relate to kids and have little tolerance for their behavioral issues. It doesn’t make you a wicked person if you say that you don’t have kids because that’s not your thing.

Final Thoughts on Being Childless and Releasing the Pressure from Your Mind

Having children can be one of the most fulfilling parts of your life. However, it would help if you never defined yourself by whether you have a house full of little ones or remain childless. The beauty of being an individual is making your own choices and living your best life accordingly.

Not Every Person Will Forgive. Be Careful Who You Hurt

March 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

You can’t change all the people you encounter each day. However, you have the choice in who you allow into your inner circle. You want to be with someone eager to forgive, knows how to have fun, and is there for you when you need it most.

You will blink your eyes, and the best years of your life will be behind you. Since time is so short, you don’t want to waste it on those who don’t value and respect you as a friend. You must surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and appreciated.

The Sting of Betrayal

Have you been betrayed because you allowed someone to get close and they misused your trust? It’s not always easy to forgive or forget, but you should practice it often. Going through a betrayal is one of the most heartbreaking things in life.

If you tell a boyfriend or girlfriend about a cheating ex, they probably promised never to do that to you. When they turn around and do the same thing, the pangs of disloyalty from a cheating spouse feel more intense. You bear that scar for life once you feel such a resounding blow to the psyche.

When you meet someone new, every fiber of your being wants to believe that this person is true blue and would never hurt you. You care and love deeply, but giving yourself entirely to them is challenging because you’ve developed trust issues. You’re afraid that they will turn around and break your heart which is barely mended from the last betrayal.

Do you tend to stay longer in relationships than you should? There are always warning signs that the partnership isn’t working, but many choose to remain, hoping things will improve. Why do people stay with people that make them miserable?

What makes someone stay with someone they no longer trust?

Some of the most common reasons that people stay in a rocky relationship are these:

Finances
Children
Social or family ties
Jobs
The comfort of having someone

No matter how miserable this person makes you, there is comfort in coming home to the same thing every night. Generally, people don’t like change because it’s uncomfortable. Packing up the house, sever ties, and moving on is a huge hassle.

Once you’ve had such an intimate life with someone, it’s hard to move on and show mercy because they deceived you. They know things about you that make you vulnerable to them.

You will experience pain because the person you believed and trusted with all your secrets now is no longer that confidant. In fact, they might be the enemy. How do you move on from such a devastating blow?

The Emotional Changes Caused by Hurt

Once you’ve experienced deep hurt, it does things that cause you to change in ways that are hard to imagine. Some people believe in the fallacy that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Sadly, that’s not always the case.

Sure, some things you go through in life will make you a stronger and better person. However, some storms will alter you and can even destroy who you are. Love doesn’t mean you will live happily ever after, and it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

You can love a person with all your heart, but that doesn’t mean that you can live together. What good is love without income, commitment, or trust? Does it sound odd to say that the person who has caused you so much agony in life is the one that you should be thanking?

Aligning Your Visions

What would have happened if you never saw the person who betrayed you for who they really were? If you never saw their true colors, then you would have continued in a relationship that wasn’t right or healthy.

Without this revelation, you would have continued to believe that they were a good and decent person and that they were someone they weren’t. You gained wisdom and perspective when you hit your breaking point.

You’ve now learned when enough is enough. The next time, you will see the warning signs and end things before they come to blows. The most important lesson comes when someone disrespects your values because now you fully understand your true worth.

People become quite emotional when it comes to love. The pain is not caused by the fact that they didn’t love you completely; it comes from thinking they did. You wanted and believed that they loved you every bit as much as you did them.

You had no idea this relationship would end up like this. When you said forever, you thought that it would be for eternity. You had visions of sitting on the porch swing growing old together, but your visions didn’t align.

Learning to Forgive Yourself and Others

It’s time to change your destiny. If you let unforgiveness fester in your heart and mind, it can destroy you. However, you can forgive yourself because you didn’t know or ignored the warning signs.

Promise yourself that you will never allow this to happen to you again. The knowledge and wisdom you gain will keep you from making the same mistakes again. Time will tell if a person is right or wrong for you, and you can’t use your feelings of infatuation or love as a guide.

Time is really a beautiful gift as it allows manipulators and narcissistic people’s true colors to come to the forefront. Don’t be so eager to jump into a relationship head-on, and don’t move them into your home before you’ve given them a decent period to prove themselves.

Forgive the past mistakes you and others have made, but don’t make the same blunders again. Take some time to get to know yourself a bit better. Understand what you want, need, and are looking for in a friend or mate. You should guard your heart like a fragile piece of glass that can shatter and break if mishandled.

One of the biggest problems that people get caught up in is quantity. Don’t worry about how many dates you have or haven’t been on this month. It’s not a contest. You want quality because this is where you will find true happiness.

Stop loving all the wrong people and giving your heart away so easily. When you are eager for love, you will set yourself up for heartbreak.

But What if You Wronged Someone?

Now, what if you wronged someone in a relationship? And now, you must ask for forgiveness?

You must be careful because some people are not so eager to offer mercy. When you’ve crossed the line, some people aren’t interested in going back to the way things were.

Assume that you’re dating a woman and things are going well. You get a call from an ex-lover who wants to meet for dinner while she’s in town. You don’t want to tell your girlfriend because you know she might overreact, and you don’t intend this to be anything other than a quaint dinner.

The night was splendid, and catching up with an old flame was good. However, your girlfriend found out because someone saw you with another woman. She will have a hard time with trust and communication in the future, and she may not forgive you.

Even though you didn’t technically cheat on her, you put yourself in a position for her to distrust you in the future. She may view this as an unforgivable offense and believe that you were intimate with her even if you weren’t. Sometimes, people cross a line and do unforgivable things in the other person’s eyes.

This whole situation could have been avoided if you had told your girlfriend or brought her along, too. When things are going great in a relationship, be careful not to do something that could ruin the entire thing. A simple act of foolishness could have cost your bond with a beautiful person.

Not everyone will offer forgiveness or forget what you’ve done. You must be careful who you’ve hurt because sometimes there’s no going back.

Final Thoughts on the Choice to Forgive (or Not)

While you may forgive someone for something wrong they’ve done to you, it’s almost impossible to forget. Still, it’s possible for time to ease the painful pangs over time. When someone is dishonest or treats you poorly, you must forgive them. Karma is a beautiful yet vicious thing.

When you put negativity out into the atmosphere, then negativity is what will come back to you. When you offer forgiveness to others, then forgiveness will come back to you. Life is hard, and people make mistakes as no one is perfect, but make sure that even if it means your association ends you forgive.

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