Do you ever wonder why some of your friends attract a partner effortlessly while you and others struggle to capture the interest of your crush? It seems as though some people hold all the lucky cards when it comes to dating and relating. And that leaves others sitting by on the sidelines. The secret to why positive singles attract partners quickly has little to do with chance and a lot to do with science.
12 Reasons Why Positive Singles Win in the Dating Game
The reason that positive people find it so easy to attract partners is that they have personality traits that are known to draw people closer to them. These traits have been shown to make people not only more successful in love but in their careers and personal life as well.
1 – Being a Good Listener
Positive people are generally good listeners. They tend to practice active listening, in which they tune out distractions and tune in to what the other person is saying. And, they mirror the person’s words and listen to understand. Thus, they may remember small details in the conversation and bring them up later, showing the other person that they care deeply. They often listen with intent and are totally present in the moment. They don’t allow their mind to wander or check their phones while the other person is talking. Because of this trait, people are naturally attracted to them.
2 – Understanding Body Language
Positive singles are great at deciphering body language. They can tell if a person is stressed or happy, tense, or excited. Because of this, they can often mirror their partner’s moods, making them more likable. They listen with both their ears and their eyes, and this draws people to them. On dates, they lean in when their partners lean in. They are open to affection if they sense that their dates are as well. People are often wildly attracted to people who are likable, and this high level of empathy only boosts people’s attraction to them.
3 – Kindness and Compassion
People love people who are kind and compassionate. If you are always doing good for others, displaying high levels of empathy, and doing good deeds, people will be instantly attracted to you. Positive people are often naturally kind, and this means that people want to spend more time around them. Helpful people are also perceived as better partners, so it is no wonder that the lady that volunteers at the nursing home is more likely to find a partner. According to a study published in 2019 in the British Journal of Psychology, both men and women consistently express attraction to those who exhibit the trait of kindness.
4 – Smiling
Smiling serves a dual purpose when it comes to attracting a mate. First, smiling gives you an endorphin boost that instantly puts you in a better mood. Second, studies have shown that people enjoy an endorphin boost when they look at smiling faces. If you want people to like you, it helps to flash those pearly whites. The University of Bern, Switzerland, conducted a study and found that people who are smiling are consistently rated as more attractive than those with neutral expressions.
5 – Laughing
Laughing radiates happiness, and there are few things that are more attractive than a happy person. When it comes to attracting a mate, laughing can do wonders.
Laughing lowers your stress level and the stress level of those around you. When a person finds themselves laughing with you, they naturally want to spend more time with you. This leads to higher levels of attraction overall. Laughing with a potential partner lays the foundation for a deep connection, long-lasting friendship, and eventually, love. This is one of the main reasons that positive singles find it so easy to attract a mate. They laugh and smile and make the people around them feel great.
6 – Self-confidence
Confident people instantly draw people to them. When a person exudes confidence, it puts people around them at ease. People consistently rate confident people as more attractive, and singles love to feed off of their positive energy. People who are optimistic draw people to them, which makes it more likely that they will find a romantic partner. On the flip side, people who are self-conscious, loathing, and depressive often repel people from them.
Positive people often feel good about themselves and exude confidence wherever they go. This has a self-fulfilling effect on their lives. Because they are more confident, people tend to like them more and treat them better. Because they are treated better, they are happier and smile more. Therefore, because they smile and laugh more, people are more attracted to them. When it comes to attracting a mate, confidence is its own reward.
7 – Being on Time
While most people don’t think of this trait as being attractive to other singles, it is a small habit that goes a long way. Being on time sends the signal to others that you value them and their time. You don’t keep them waiting because you think they are worth showing up for. Being on time gives the signal that you honor your commitments and are responsible and mature. When you show up late consistently, you are telling people that your time is more important than theirs, and they are not relevant to you. Show up on time if you want to be able to attract partners with zero effort.
8 – Traditional Gender Roles
This one might raise a few eyebrows, but the research backs us up. As it turns out, men and women who act in “traditional” ways have an easier time attracting a mate than those that don’t. Feminine women who wear dresses and heels consistently rate as more attractive than those who don’t. Men who engage in typically “masculine” hobbies and behaviors often score high in the attraction category. Studies have also shown that women who wear the color red are often seen as highly attractive.
Fair or not, these stereotypes mean that those who dress traditionally are viewed as “positive singles” over those who do not.
9 – Being a Pet Owner
Walking a dog is a great way to meet other people. It’s not surprising, then, that singles who are out for a pleasant walk in the park with their dog are more likely to attract people with little to no effort. Spending time with a pet is a well-reputed natural mood booster. So people whose pets are often happier and in better moods than those without. Taking care of pets can also bring out a nurturing spirit, and this can also attract people to you with no effort.
10 – Flirting
Singles that flirt often attract partners more quickly than those that don’t put out these non-verbal cues. Men tend to flirt by making themselves look bigger. Sticking their chest out, talking loudly, and showing off the more muscular parts of their body are ways that men tend to express their interest in women. Women tend to flirt by flipping their hair, smiling, acting shy, and sitting in a way that shows their openness (arms unfolded, palms facing upward). Singles that flirt and show that they are open to affection from others often find it easier to attract partners than those that don’t tease.
11 – Positive Thinking
While it may seem obvious, many people do not understand the connection between positive thinking and attracting a mate. People who think positive often draw people toward them because they are refreshing to be around. If you have ever been around someone who is always negative, you will understand how attractive a positive thinker can be.
When people have a “glass half full” mentality, they naturally attract people to them. They often enjoy a more abundant life, filled with laughter, smiles, friends, and enjoyable experiences. They draw people to them like moths to a flame. This makes finding a mate an effortless proposition for them. They already believe they are going to see what they’re looking for, and they are more likely to find it.
12 – Authenticity and Vulnerability
Positive singles attract partners with zero effort because they allow themselves to be seen as vulnerable and even weak. They enable people to see them as a whole, authentic people who may be a little awkward and unsure of themselves at times. While this may seem to directly contradict the notion that people like confident people, it actually does not. People understand that even the most confident person has moments of weakness, and by allowing this part of themselves to shine through, positive singles make themselves look irresistible to potential partners.
When it comes to being able to attract a partner with zero effort, some people simply understand attraction better than others. You, too can learn the art and science of attraction by studying which qualities shine through and make people instantly fall in love with you. From being vulnerable to flirting, being a good listener, to smiling, the science agrees that positive people are more likely to attract mates. Enhance your natural positive characteristics, enjoy a positive outlook, and you will find partners instantly drawn to you with little to no effort on your part.