Confident people can be inspiring. They seem to keep their heads held high, no matter what comes their way. Even rare moments of weakness don’t hold them down for very long. It’s no wonder that everyone wants to be like them!
Do you want to be confident? It’s not as difficult as it may sound! Indeed, it’s very likely that the confident spirit is already alive and well within you, but that certain habits are holding it back from its full glory.
Here Are 6 Things Confident People Avoid In Their Life
1 – Caring Too Much What Others Think
The world is full of all sorts of opinions and beliefs, from unique and interesting people with different personalities and perspectives. If you try to care about all of them – an impossible task – you’ll find yourself losing confidence pretty quickly. Here’s how confident people avoid these patterns:
They Don’t Need (Or Want) Constant Praise
A confident person doesn’t need anyone to sing praises of them. They know what they’re capable of, and they know their value, so they have no need for others to tell them of it. However, they also know how to take and gracefully appreciate praise.
They Aren’t People-Pleasers
Though confident people can be thoughtful towards others, they don’t seek to please those around them above all else. They focus on relationship quality over quantity.
They Don’t Seek Attention From Others.
When someone is confident, the attention of others doesn’t matter. They don’t need to prove that they are essential or be amid the spotlight; they let their abilities speak for themselves.
They Are Unabashedly Themselves
A confident person is always genuine. Of course, they do leave room for self-improvement, but they couldn’t care less if others judge them for the clothes they wear, the way they choose to spend their time, or other shallow things.
They Don’t Need (Or Want) Constant Reassurance Or Validation
A confident person doesn’t beg for reassurance from those around them. They don’t need to be spoon-fed or hand-held; they pave their path.
Their Goals Are Not Dictated By Others
The world has a lot of “standard” goals that it expects everyone to have: a big house, a nice car, romantic partners, kids… these are all societal markers of success. Confident individuals do not let these expectations dictate their goals.
2 – Confident People Address Their Fears
Fear can be potent when it comes to destroying someone’s confidence. That’s why it’s so important to make sure it doesn’t control you, and that’s also why confident individuals don’t let their life be ruled by fear. Here are some everyday worries that confident people avoid:
It can be intimidating to try and begin something brand new. But a confident person doesn’t let their anxiety around that stop them from trying new things anyway.
Failure is a part of being human. A confident person isn’t afraid of it as they know that it is part of their journey to success. Failure means growth. They would instead try and fail than remain stagnant but safe, thus avoiding procrastination and having an outlook of positive thinking.
Some people think that confident people never experience self-doubt in any way, but this is far from the case. Instead, they do not fear it. They know that self-doubt can be a good thing, and in reasonable amounts, it can be a good signal that shows they need more preparation or help.
Missing The “Right” Time
Confident people don’t hesitate. They’re never waiting for the perfect moment to make a bold statement. They take small steps when they can and big leaps when they feel they should. They know there’s no ideal time, and the best time to act is almost always now.
A Lack Of Perfection
There’s no such thing as perfection. Confident people know this and therefore are not frightened of failing to be perfect. They don’t need everything to be exactly as planned – all they need is to adapt!
If you never take challenges head-on, you’ll never learn and grow. Confident people become more satisfied with each problem they dare to take on, even ones that don’t necessarily give them the results that they want.
3 – Making Excuses
Self-efficacy is a trait whereby someone has an internal belief of their control. This is a trait that all confident people have. Although some things are outside of their power, they focus on things that they can control. For example:
- They cannot control the traffic, but they can check traffic reports and plan accordingly in the future
- They cannot control unexpected events, but they can control their reactions to them
- They cannot control how others treat them, but they can control who they keep in their lives
This also means that confident people don’t make excuses for their mistakes. They hold themselves accountable and do not list excuses to avoid receiving blame for something. So:
- They don’t blame a boss for not giving them a promotion; they find ways to improve their performance to earn one or consider seeking a job with a better position elsewhere
- They don’t point fingers when they make mistakes; they own up to them, apologize, make things right, and learn from them
- They don’t blame a service industry worker for getting their order wrong; they recognize that they can control their reactions and seek for the issue to be rectified efficiently, not for the worker to face severe consequences
4 – Poor Conflict Management
It’s not possible to go through life without experiencing a few instances of conflict. Confident people know how best to manage conflict, and sometimes it’s not necessarily because they’re trying to achieve it entirely, but because their confidence prevents them from making poor conflict management choices. Here are some areas that confident people excel in when it comes to this subject:
Feedback and Criticism
Feedback and criticism are how we learn and grow, and a confident person has no reason to hate it. In fact, they appreciate receiving feedback and even welcome constructive forms of conflict because they are also seeking improvement. Their confidence means their egos are not so fragile as to be shattered by critique!
When someone acts defensive, they’re often trying to deflect blame away from them, even when it’s not necessary. A lack of confidence can increase defensive behaviors, as you feel more and more insecure and rush to protect yourself. A confident person listens carefully.
Tearing Others Down
It goes without saying that this negative trait is not one shared by confident people. When someone continually tries to tear down the people around them, they are doing so to uplift themselves. Confident individuals know that their worth is not based on those around them.
Conflict-avoidance is a widespread tactic used by those who lack confidence. Confident people don’t want to create conflict, but they also don’t go out of their way to avoid it. They know how to handle conflict and like resolving disagreements and reaching better solutions for everyone.
5 – Negativity
Confident people are positive people. They view themselves well (but realistically) and practice positive thinking in their everyday life, which aids their confidence and overall mental health even further. Confident people, therefore, do not:
This doesn’t mean they aren’t careful, or that they don’t check themselves and keep themselves grounded. But they move forward confidently once they have made a decision, and they are not wishy-washy about things. If they happen to have been mistaken, then they were wrong, and they learn and move on.
Engage In Negative Self-Talk
When someone is confident, they aren’t continually hammering themselves with negative thoughts and statements about themselves. They don’t insult themselves or doubt themselves; they know what they’re good at, and their self-esteem is happy. Plus, self-talk is a self-fulfilling prophecy; speak positively and good things will come, and the inverse!
Spread Negative Energy
Some people tend to spread their negative energy around, often due to their negative self-esteem. They might continuously be moody, talk themselves down in public, or, as previously discussed, put others down to list themselves up. Confident people, being positive individuals, don’t do this.
However, it is also worth noting that confident people, while they avoid negativity, are not unaware of it. They know that the world can be cruel. They know that life can be inconvenient. They know of unaddressed problems and difficulties that they may face.
But confident people will not sweep these issues under the rug and avoid them – that’s not what “avoiding negativity” refers to. Instead, they will work to resolve these issues for a better future.
6 – Giving Up
Someone confident doesn’t give up on their hopes and dreams. Confidential individuals know that there is merit in perseverance, no matter what issues they run into along the way, how many hurdles they have to jump, or how many blocks they face that threaten to ruin their plans. They don’t give up, even if:
- They lack resources
- They experience failure
- They face setbacks
- They receive words of discouragement from others
- Things go wrong
This doesn’t mean that confident people aren’t realistic, of course. They may adjust specific goals or change the intricacies of their plans. But, no matter what, they don’t give up on their dreams. They follow their hearts as much as their minds and push through their insecurities and doubts.
At the end of the day, a confident person welcomes hurdles. These teach them valuable lessons and help them to learn and grow, which will ultimately still lead them to their goals. Problems and walls aren’t barriers – they’re obstacles on a long race that they’re determined to see through to the end. And isn’t that the way we all ought to live our lives?
Confidence can seem like a difficult trait to develop, especially when bad habits and negative self-esteem can affect them and ruin your attempts at embodying the character. So start small – work to avoid certain practices first, and you may find that you’ll soon exude the same positive vibes as the confident people around you.