Do you open up carefully, or do you meet someone and divulge everything from the time you were born? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could trust the motives of every person you met? In a perfect world, you could meet a new friend, tell them all your darkest secrets, and know that they would be there through thick and thin.
Sadly, many people pay a considerable price when they’re too trusting of others. You may be lured in by good looks, a charming smile, or someone that is gifted in charisma. Some individuals are more trouble than their worth, and there’s no way to know that when you first meet.
While you may have all the right motives, some people only use others because they want something in return. Have you ever heard of someone “sleeping their way to the top?” Using sex appeal and hormones’ power, people will stoop to the lowest level to get what they want.
Thankfully, there are people in this world that will be a true friend. They will stand beside you no matter what life throws your way. It’s hard not to be pessimistic when you meet someone new, but you must protect yourself.
Ten Reasons Why You Should Open Up Carefully When Meeting New People
If you tend to divulge too much too quickly when meeting someone, you need to be careful. Here are ten reasons why you need to open up carefully when entering new relationships.
1. You Don’t Want Everyone Knowing Your Secrets
Let’s assume that you met a lovely lady and shared a night of drinks and laughter. During this period, you felt so comfortable that you started telling her about all the pains of your past. You’ve placed yourself in a very vulnerable position by exposing yourself heart to her.
She can take that information and file it in the back of her mind for future reference or use it to get ahead in life. What if this woman was trying to push you out of your position at the office? Any dirt you give here could be used against you.
Though life doesn’t function like a court of law, keep in mind that anything you say can and will be used against you. When you keep that mindset, then you will monitor what you say. Never tell anyone anything that you are afraid they will repeat. No wonder it’s said that gossip can be as cruel as the grave.
2. Some People Don’t Have Good Motives
While some people may want to be your friends, not everyone has your best interests at heart. What if a person you just met and seems pretty chummy wants to get information for your ex to use against you in court?
If you have any other conflicts going on in life, like a pending child custody case, open up carefully to anyone new. What if this person is a paid agent for the other party? Sadly, you shouldn’t have to think this way in life, but people will use you for revenge.
3. You Could Be Used
Have you ever heard people with money say that they want people to like them, not what they can do for them? Maybe you have money, or you hold a prestigious position. Anyone new in your life might not be there for the right reasons.
You must open up carefully when it’s someone that knows you have authority or clout, and they want to use that to their advantage. They can use words as sweet as honey and pretend to be your best friend. The sad fact is that they are only in the relationship to see what they can get.
4. You Put Yourself in a Vulnerable Position
No one likes to be vulnerable and exposed. Even if a friendship starts on the right foot, what if things go sour later on? Anything you’ve said can be used against you.
What if you told your girlfriend that you once tried a serious drug while in college? You never became hooked on the drug, and you didn’t even like how it made you feel. However, they put their spin on it, and the story becomes worse.
It could go around your place of employment, house of faith, or group of friends, that you have a drug problem. When you tell secrets, they are open to interpretation. Your view of things may not be how someone else views it, and it can end in disaster.
5. A Bad Friend Can Destroy Your Life
Have you ever seen the movie Single White Female starring Bridget Fonda? The psychological thriller has a terrifying premise. The main character in the film has everything going for her in life. She has the perfect boyfriend, a great apartment, and a fantastic career. When her boyfriend cheats on her, she is forced to get a roommate to share expenses. The roommate she picks has a horrible past and has murdered in another state.
She seems like the perfect friend, but in the end, the main character nearly loses her life. While this is a movie and you must suspend reality, the premise is scary enough to consider. The woman was running from her past, and before it all came to an end, she wanted to take over the life of the main character.
Keep in mind that not everyone has your best interests at heart. While murder is a bit extreme, you have to keep your guard up in today’s society.
What if you have a past that isn’t the best? Nobody is perfect. You could have a divorce, affairs, past drug abuse, bankruptcy, and all sorts of things that you’ve dealt with in life. What could happen if you don’t open up carefully?
Could you scare others away? What would happen to a new friend if they found out your deepest darkest secrets? Would they still want to be friends with you?
No law says you have to open up about your life. You can choose what you divulge to your friends, and some secrets should remain buried.
7. It Takes Time to Build Trust
It takes months or even years to build the kind of relationships that last a lifetime. Don’t be so eager to dive right into a friendship. Whether you’re dating someone new or have a new BFF to hang out with, be careful and allow yourself time to build trust.
8. If You’ve Been Burnt Before, Don’t Rebound Quickly
Have you been hurt in previous relationships? Why do people break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend only to marry six months later? Rebound relationships seldom work.
Your heart and your emotions are all over the place when you’ve lost someone near and dear to you. Since your emotionally vulnerable, it only stands to reason that you are looking to latch onto someone else. When it comes to matters of the heart, don’t rebound too quickly, or it can cause significant problems.
9. You Need an Aura of Mystery About You
Keep a little mystery about yourself when meeting someone new. Don’t start telling them about your parents, siblings, a dog you had growing up, and all your failed love interests. Instead, let some things be left to the imagination.
If you want to make sure that people don’t use you, you must open up carefully. Keep things surface until you’ve had enough time to feel comfortable talking about your life. Some people naturally want to tell you anything and everything about themselves, but no law says you have to do the same.
10. Somethings Should Stay Private
Why is it so hard for some people to realize that some things need to stay private? One of the reasons you open up carefully is that no one needs to know your business. If it’s a romantic relationship, you don’t want to ruminate about everything that went wrong in previous relationships.
If it’s a friendship, then you should be very selective about what you tell them. Intimate details and horrific experiences that don’t add anything to your relationship should be avoided topics. Instead, if you need to discuss past hurts that have harmed you, talk to a therapist.
Sadly, you must be careful when meeting new people. Not everyone in your universe is the perfect friend and there to support you. Some individuals will come along your path to use and abuse you for their gain. You don’t have the time or energy for the drama.
When meeting someone new, go very slow in the relationship. Don’t be eager to tell all your secrets and never tell them anything they can use against you. How long should you wait before you start being more intimate in conversation?
Some experts say a year is a reasonable time frame to see if your friendship will last the test of time. If you feel that your relationship is fizzling out or stale, you’ll be glad you didn’t tell them too much. However, if you still feel love and admiration for this person at the one-year mark, you should start opening up carefully to them.
A good friendship is great for your mental health and can be what gets you through life. You need friends to surround you as a support system, so you need to make sure it’s the right ones.