The toxicity of betrayal is something that can take months or even years to get over. If only there were a way to protect you from these devastating blows. Before you can be betrayed, you must have a relationship with someone that you trust. It’s possible to be deceived by several people, which includes:
- Best Friends
- Extended Family Members
- Pastors and Church Officials
Thankfully, some pretty apparent signs show you that the relationship is going sour. So you can pull away rather than staying and getting hurt worse.
Signs That Someone Might Betray You
Whether it’s a friend or lover, mental health professionals suggest that you need to remove this toxic person from your life for good. Here are ten signs that you’re about to be betrayed.
The first sign that something is off is a person’s behavior. If it’s a partner that you share a home with, then they may pull away from you. They won’t come home for dinner, and they start to carry on a life outside of the one with you.
If it’s an employee or coworker, they may ignore you at work or in the breakroom. They may go out to eat with someone else when they usually went out with you. This person may refuse to speak to you when you pass in the hallway.
The little things that you always did to keep your friendship alive now are just a faded memory. If you ask them if anything is wrong, they will always say things are okay. However, remember that actions always speak louder than words.
2. Their Niceness Drips Like Honey
Have you ever seen someone act too nice? Even if this person is already rather friendly, someone that is overly nice is fake. If they’re trying to scam you or take advantage of your kindness, then they may be so sweet that their words are dripping like honey.
A manipulative person tries to get on the right side of the person they want to betray. If they start feeding you a line of compliments and trying to get too friendly, then you should take that as a sign that they’re up to something.
3. They Act Out of Character
You’ve become accustomed to how this person acts, but they certainly are not acting like themselves. You might notice subtle signs that something is amiss, but they aren’t enough to really send up any red flags yet.
They may become grouchy and yell a lot, or they may seem a million miles away. Watch for any personality changes as these can be forth-telling.
4. They Block You from Their Social Media
You notice that you do not see their posts on social media. You go to their page only to find out that they’ve unfriended you. There were no words exchanged and nothing that would indicate an issue, yet they blocked you from their social media accounts.
They want to hide something from you, but you have no idea what you could have done to deserve to be betrayed. You have no clue how long you’ve been blocked from their media walls, but it stings.
5. They Change Passwords on Their Accounts
If you share a home with this person as a lover or friend, you may notice that passwords are suddenly changed. The Netflix or Hulu accounts, not to mention the WIFI passwords, are suddenly not the same. They are trying to shut you out of their life, and the easiest way to do that is to start maintaining some secrecy.
6. Guarding Their Phone and Secretly Texting
When a lover is about to betray you, the easiest way to do this is to guard their phone with their life. If they always left it casually on the coffee tables or counters, now they will take it everywhere they go.
They probably have changed or added a protective password to the phone to keep you from seeing their texts. Additionally, they may text in secret or go into the other room to take phone calls. Even a friend may seem to conduct private business on the phone in the other room when you’re around.
When people start hiding things on their phone, you can almost guess it’s something to do with you or something you cannot know about.
7. Finding Out Their Backstabbing You with Other Friends
One of the most defining ways to know that you’re being betrayed is when another person tells you. No one wants to know that their friend or lover is saying bad things about them.
When stuff comes back through the grapevine, you can count on at least some of it is true. Remember, people tend to add their own spin and twist to the tale, but the premise is still the same; this person is talking about you to others.
8. They Lie to You
A once truthful person that you could count on with your life is now feeding you a line of bull. You’ve caught them in several lies by now, and each one is trying to cover another story. What is going on with this person that you once trusted?
Psychologists state that these fibs can be blatantly untrue, or they might be lies of omission.
If a spouse is lying about their whereabouts, money spent, and other essential details, they may be about to cheat or have already. When lovers have an affair, they aren’t always sure they want to break things off with you. They want to give the affair time to see if things work out, especially if there are children involved in the mix.
Since the foundation of any relationship is based on truth, and honestly, it’s safe to say that you will know all about the betrayal soon. It’s a toxic person that feeds their friend, coworker, or lover nothing but lies.
There’s nothing worse than feeling excluded or like you don’t belong. Remember when they were picking teams in gym class for dodge ball, and you were one of the last ones on the line? Nothing is worse than that feeling of being singled out, except when you’re older and find yourself in the same predicament.
It sends a loud and clear message when someone starts excluding you from drinks after work, Sunday night poker games, and general conversations around the water cooler. They may become silent as you pass by, or they may try to keep things from you. There are always ways to find out that you’ve been excluded, even if it’s just from social media posts.
10. They Begin to Demean, Bully or Belittle You
This person usually always has nice things to say to you, now they have become quite verbally abusive. The passive-aggressive person will try to pick a fight with you to give them a reason to leave or end the relationship.
They may harbor some guilt about the disservice they are doing to you, so the only way they know how to get out of this mess is by turning the blame around.
If they are successful, then their true misdeeds won’t be brought to light. These behaviors are also indicative of narcissistic personality disorder. Abuse is abuse, whether verbal, physical, or emotional, and you don’t have to take it!
Getting Over Being Betrayed by Someone You Trusted
The first thing that you may feel like doing after you’ve been betrayed is to retaliate. However, it’s not a good idea to stoop to their level. Remember that hurting people hurts people. Something is not right on the inside that they would do such a thing to hurt you.
• Time of Reflection
Second, you need a period of introspection. Stop asking yourself why this would happen to you and realize that the problem had more to do with them than you. If your relative stole money and started using drugs again, while it hurt you, it’s not about you.
They are feeding an addiction, and it’s stronger than anything they’ve had to deal with in their life. It makes them forget family, friends, and all sense of obligation to feed the demons they carry.
• Confront the Person
Third, you must use some guts and determination and find a way to mend fences. This step is more about your healing than theirs. Confront the person and tell them that you forgive them, even if they don’t offer an apology to you. It would help if you had the closure so that you can move on.
• Learn a Lesson and Move On
Lastly, it’s time for you to move on. Once you’ve made peace, had a brief time to grieve the relationship, and had your time of introspection, you’re ready to move past the event. Some people try to remain civil or friendly with this person, which is always lovely.
However, it would help if you remembered what they’ve done to you and never allow yourself to be put in that position again. If you’ve been burnt once, the chances of you being burnt again are incredibly high.
You don’t want ever to allow yourself to experience the sting of betrayal again. However, with each relationship comes lessons you’ve learned. These experiences will help you in the future.
The pain of being betrayed is not one that heals quickly, but you can get over it with time and reflection.