Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Counselors Explain 10 Dangers of Spreading Rumors About Your Ex

There’s never been a more accurate statement than “all is fair in love and war.” Even the best relationships go through downward phases, but what happens when you call it quits? Can you walk away without dissing the other party, or do you feel inclined to share all their dirty deeds and put a little twist on the story for interest?

Spreading rumors is gossip, and there are many reasons why people love to pack tales. If the situation ended on a sour note, you might want to make yourself look and feel like the victim in the relationship. Saving face is not necessary if you keep your private business personal. Why is it that people feel the need to share everything they know with their friends and family?

A simple “it didn’t work out” should suffice any curious folks. Besides the fact that talking trash about your ex is not in good taste, it can have some negative psychological repercussions. Here are some reasons why spreading rumors is not healthy.

1. It Makes You Look Childish

Imagine sitting around the lunch table at work talking about all the horrible things your ex did to you. While a couple of people may be curious to hear the scoop, most of your coworkers would rather you save the details for a more captive audience. When you are spreading rumors and talking about intimate things that went wrong, it makes you look childish.

Remember the days of grade school where your best friend ran and told the teacher every time you looked at her wrong? Your family and friends may feel that you are a bit childish if you are spreading gossip. An adult should be man or woman enough to admit it didn’t work out and move on.

rumors

2. A Rumor Keeps You in a Negative Mindset

Life is full of disappointments and trials, and when you’re dealing with a broken relationship, it can be quite a blow to your esteem. However, it’s not as much about what happened to you as it is your choice to ruminate about it. When you focus on the negative things that happen in life, then it’s setting you up for a pessimistic outlook.

Instead, why not take positive matters from your relationship and choose to remember these things? There will undoubtedly be several relationships in your life that don’t work out, romantic and otherwise. If you dwell on all the things that went wrong, you won’t be able to get past the negativity.

As counselors will reveal, broken dreams hurt, but you must learn to move beyond the brokenness to find healing. If you’re constantly dwelling on the past and the negative parts about it, then you can’t move on to the future.

3. You May Get a Bad Reputation

Do you know that person in the family or your workplace that everyone avoids? You don’t want to turn into this individual. No matter how hard you try, your constant “Negative Nelly” attitude and downward demeanor are a real turn off.

People want to be around those that lift them and make them smile. If you’re continually trashing your ex and talking about all your problems, then the individuals in your life may want to steer clear of any interaction with you. Additionally, if you’re telling things that aren’t 100 percent true, then it also has some serious consequences.

4. Your Stories May Come Back to Bite You

It’s often said that there’s his side, her side, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. You see things from your point of view, and your partner has their opinions. However, you need to make sure that what you are telling is the truth.

Anything you say can come back to bite you later. For instance, let’s assume this person wants to get back together with you. You’ve had time apart, and now you realize you can’t live without each other. What about all those rumors and stories you told about them?

Your friends and family may tell the other person all the things that you said, and they might not even do it on purpose. The lies you tell can come back and haunt you later, especially should you reignite your passion.

5. Rumors Can Affect Your Children

If your relationship was more than a short fling, then you may have children from the union. It’s hard to talk trash about your ex when there are little ears around you. Remember, little ones are listening to everything you have to say.

When you are trashing their mom or dad, it’s very hurtful to them. It would help if you allowed children to form their own opinions, and they will. As your kids grow and mature, they will see the people who are there for them and those who aren’t.

Additionally, just because you had a bad relationship with their other parent doesn’t mean that they will be anything less than a great mother or father to their children. You don’t want your kids to see you in a negative light, and when you’re spreading rumors about their parents, it can cause problems.

pop quote

6. People Won’t Trust You

Sadly, along with getting a bad reputation, people won’t trust you if you’re sharing intimate details about someone else with them. If there’s any golden rule of relationships, it’s that if people are talking about others with you, then they are talking about you with others.

When someone confides in a friend, they trust that the friend won’t be spreading their business all over town. If they hear you are always talking smack about a bad relationship, they will be less likely to want to share anything with you. They will be afraid that you will share anything that they tell you with others, and their fears are warranted.

7. You Can Be Sued for Slander

When you’re hurt, it always sounds better to add a little bit of juice to the story, especially if you’re trying to save face. However, today’s society is “sue happy,” and they are more than eager to take you to court. While Defamation of Character is a widely overused term, it’s grounds for a suit.

If you have said things about your ex that can affect their business or personal standings, it can cost you big time. Never put anything on social media outlets. If there is one shred of proof that can back up their claims, then a judge will likely rule in their favor.

8. Bad Karma Always Comes Back Around

Karma is the universe’s way of rewarding or punishing deeds. If you plant goodness into your garden, then you will receive kindness in return. However, if you plant negativity, gossip, and lying in life’s garden, then karma will not be so kind.

Remember the old saying, “what goes around will come back around?” When you are telling lies and spreading gossip, the same judgment that you give out to others is going to come back on you. It may not happen today, tomorrow, or even in the next year, but at some point in your life, you will be repaid for your evil deeds.

9. You Can Hurt the Other Person

Most folks think that the best way to get back at someone who has hurt you is to cut them in return. However, you can do some real damage when you spread vicious rumors. More importantly than what others think, how will the person you once loved feel when they hear the things you’re saying?

You don’t want to do anything that will be a stumbling block to anyone, especially someone you once had intense feels about. Causing them to have issues in their personal or professional life is downright mean. Could you live with the guilt if you got them fired or had other severe repercussions over lies?

10. They Can Retaliate

According to the NIH, retaliation or reprisal can have a “chilling effect” on relationships.

Be careful what you say to others about your ex. Not all people take rumors and gossip so kindly. Some folks believe in the “eye for an eye” type of retaliation. Your ex may start spreading rumors about you or worse yet do things to get back at you.

Many unbalanced people in this world will stop at nothing to get revenge. Do you want to take a chance of a severe retaliation against you? When you threaten someone’s reputation or well-being with lies, there is no telling what they might do to get revenge.

rumorsFinal Thoughts: Move on Gracefully from Your Ex Without Spreading Rumors

Though it’s difficult, it’s always best to count your losses and move on. If you need a therapist to help you through a bad breakup, then go to therapy. You don’t want to hurt others because karma can and will pay you back for your misguided deeds.

Don’t start rumors. Instead, you will find it best to forgive. Only then can you can move on with someone new. You deserve to have someone who will love you 100 percent and won’t cause the problems of your previous partner. Shake the dust off your feet and start the journey to find someone new.

Doctors Reveal 20 Reasons to Eat a Plant-Based Diet

A plant-based diet incorporates veggies, fruits, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Many health experts emphasize that eating a plant-heavy diet enhances weight loss, and reduces your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure. You may wonder it is so healthy to go meatless.

Let’s look at the reasons that many people embrace this lifestyle.

What’s the difference between a vegan diet and a plant-based diet?

Vegan and plant-based diets are similar but differ on a couple of points. A vegan diet removes all animal products. Simultaneously, a plant-based diet focuses on eating plants but doesn’t remove all animal products. Many people who eat a plant-heavy diet still occasionally eat meat or dairy.

Rules of the plant-based diet

The basic principles behind eating a plant-heavy diet include

  • Eat non-processed foods
  • Restrict eating of animal products
  • Eat primarily veggies, fruits, whole grains, beans, seeds, and nuts
  • Avoid white flour, sugar, and processed oils. Harmful chemicals are used during the processing of these oils. While the oil is extracted from the seeds, oxidation occurs, which turns into trans fats.
  • Try to eat organic foods and eat locally grown foods as much as possible.

plant based dietWhat you can eat on a plant-based diet

A meatless diet has a wide assortment of foods to eat. It’s not a limited diet. You won’t feel like you’re deprived or hungry. Eat these foods for meals and snacks.

  • Vegetables: Leafy greens like lettuce, kale, and spinach. Corn, avocados, peppers, tomatoes, and squash.
  • Fruits: Apples, strawberries, bananas, grapes, citrus fruits like lemons, oranges, clementines, and limes.
  • Root veggies: Potatoes, carrots, beets, and sweet potatoes.
  • Legumes: All beans like pinto, black, or kidney. Lentils are good, too.
  • Whole grains: Oats, quinoa, brown rice, millet, or barley. Popcorn is a great whole-grain snack.

Grill, roast, or saute. Avoid frying if possible since it includes heavy cooking oils. If you choose to fry your food, use olive oil or coconut oil.

Are there different types of plant-based diets?

Eating vegetarian doesn’t mean you don’t eat meat. There are many types of vegetarians, and each one has specific foods that are allowed. Here are the main vegetarian diets.

  • Vegan diet: On this diet, no animal products are eaten. No beef, poultry, fish, eggs, or dairy. Also, no gelatin or honey. Some vegans also refuse to wear clothing such as silk, leather, or wool.
  • Lacto-vegetarian diet: No beef, poultry, fish, or eggs. It’s okay to have milk, cheese, and yogurt.
  • Ovo vegetarian diet: No beef, poultry, fish, or dairy products, but eggs are okay to eat.
  • Lacto-Ovo vegetarian diet: No beef, poultry, or fish. Dairy products and eggs are okay.
  • Pescetarian diet: Some people suggest that the pescetarian diet isn’t truly vegetarian, but because this diet includes many plants, others say it fits into the vegetarian definition. This diet prohibits beef, poultry, and other meats. This diet does allow fish and shellfish.
  • Flexitarian diet: This diet includes fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, nuts, and seeds. It does allow meat on an occasional basis.

Benefits of eating a plant-heavy diet

You may be surprised at the many benefits of eating a meatless diet. Because plants, vegetables, whole grains, and seeds are packed with nutrition, it makes sense.  Here’s a list of the reasons why you should consider eating a plant-based diet.

1 – A plant-based diet can lower your blood pressure

If you have high blood pressure, you are at risk for stroke and heart disease, which are the two major causes of death of adults in the United States.  Millions of adults struggle to reduce their blood pressure and keep it under control. Studies found that a diet of low saturated fat and a high amount of vegetable fiber like a plant dense diet reduces both lower systolic and diastolic blood pressure. A healthy plant-heavy diet is a natural way to lower blood pressure and prevent high blood pressure.

2 – It makes it easier to control your weight

Eating a dense plant helps you lose weight and keep it off. Plant diets are high in fiber, so you feel full without eating all the calories. You can easily consume 25 to 30 grams of fiber daily, which is the American Heart Association’s recommendation for adults.

But be careful. It’s easy to lose track of how much oil you eat in salads, sauces, or drizzling. A cup of olive oil packs a whopping 2,000 calories, but one cup of brown rice is just 130 calories. Find creative ways to make your dressings and saute without oils.

get in shape

3 – A plant-based diet often means better heart health

Animal products are a high source of fat in the US diet. Eating a diet high in fat puts you at risk for heart disease and associated heart problems. Plants-based diets, studies found, are connected with a lower risk of heart disease and improvement for those who have heart disease.

A meat-free diet reduces your risk of heart disease by as much as 40%. Switching to a plant-rich diet could be the difference between a healthy life free of heart disease or one plagued with heart problems.

4 – Prevents you from getting type2 diabetes

Insulin is a hormone found in your body. It controls your growth, but insulin can increase adults’ to diseases such as type 2 diabetes when out of control. Type 2 diabetes means your body doesn’t produce enough insulin or is insulin resistant. You may feel thirsty all the time or need to urinate a lot. Fatigue and blurred vision are other symptoms of type 2 diabetes.

Type2 diabetes is on the rise worldwide. A sedentary lifestyle, consuming meat and other animal fats, refined grains, and sugary foods all add to these rising rates of type 2 diabetes.

Studies suggest that lifestyle changes, especially in your diet, can prevent and even reverse type 2 diabetes. When you’re on a meatless diet, it’s easier to control your existing type 2 diabetes.

5 – You’ll live longer

When plants are part of your primary diet, you can live longer. Studies found that vegetarians, or primarily meatless participants, increase longevity.  This is because consuming plants in your diet puts you at less risk for life-threatening diseases and being overweight, contributing to most deaths in the U.S.

Choosing high-quality fruits and vegetables, especially organic, is essential to avoid exposure to pesticides and other chemicals. If you purchase non-organic foods, wash them properly to remove dirt and toxins.

6 – Decrease your chances of cancer

Eating a diet of red meat and processed meats increases your risk of cancer, but a plant-rich diet decreases your risk of some cancers. Researchers suggest that not all types of cancer are affected by your diet, but eating lots of red meat is known to cause esophageal, lung, pancreatic, prostate, and endometrial cancers.

7 – A meatless diet can reduce your arthritis pain

Inflammation of arthritis can be debilitating. Inflammation also links to heart problems and certain types of cancers. Plants contain carotenoids, flavonoids, and phytonutrients, which reduce the free radicals that cause DNA damage in our bodies.

This damage results in susceptibility to disease and inflammation.  Try eating a meatless diet for one month to see if it reduces the inflammation. You may be surprised at how good you feel.

8 – Lowers your cholesterol

In general, animal products are high in saturated fats. Animal products have saturated fats. These meats are high in saturated fats.

  • Beef
  • Pork
  • Lamb
  • Pork
  • Beef fat
  • Poultry with skin
  • Butter
  • Cheeses
  • Cream
  • Milk
  • Other dairy products

Saturated fats increase your cholesterol, making you at risk of all types of diseases. Plant diets are low in saturated fats and lack cholesterol. These plant fats are found in

  • Nuts
  • Avocados
  • Seeds
  • Olives
  • Sunflower oils
  • Soybean oil
  • Olive oil
  • Safflower oils

Plants fasts have a higher amount of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids.

Plants are also high in soluble fiber, which lowers your cholesterol. Plant-dense diets improve your overall heart health.

Researchers also found that when people with a heart attack begin eating a plant-based diet, it reverses coronary artery disease and lowers their chances of a second heart attack.

9 – A plant-based diet protects your brain

Your brain is a major organ in your body, so its health and function are a priority. Eating a plant-based diet enhances your brain’s health by reducing high cholesterol that clogs arteries, limiting your brain’s blood flow.

Plants are also high in vitamins and minerals that protect your brain. Researchers also suggest that high fiber plant diets improve your gut health. The brain-to-gut connection is something researchers are learning about, but they know that a healthy gut results in a healthy brain.

To enhance your best brain health, add a vitamin B12 supplement to your plant-rich diet. This is the only vitamin that can’t be found in plants, so it’s important to add it to your overall diet unless you add a bit of meat.

10 – Easier on your budget

Food costs in the United States continue to rise. Typically, meat products cost the most. When you switch to a plant-based diet, your food costs will drop immediately. Fruits and veggies cost less at the grocery store than meats. You can also purchase or grow them at a farmer’s market in your backyard.

Canned beans, rice, and other whole grains like oatmeal and popcorn are low-cost healthy foods. When you change to a meatless diet, you find you’re spending less on food. If for no other reason, this is a great reason to try out a diet rich in plants and vegetables.

11 – Gives you more fiber

Plant-rich diets are higher in fiber than a diet filled with animal products. The fiber in whole plant foods safeguards your gastrointestinal health, giving you improved cardiovascular health and a stronger immune system.

One study found that 90% of adults in the United States don’t get the American Heart Association’s recommended 25-30% fiber in their diet. High fiber plants include the following:

  • Beans
  • Lentils
  • Berries
  • Broccoli
  • Cabbage
  • Kale
  • Whole grains
  • Popcorn
  • Apples

The same study reported that a high-fiber diet can save you as much as 70% to 80% of healthcare costs such as procedures and medications.

12 – A meatless diet limits your exposure to antibiotics

Did you know that eating a diet high in animal products exposes you to antibiotic-resistant infections?  In the United States, all animal livestock is treated with antibiotics to keep them healthy from infections often found in their environments.

One study points out that this practice is the number one contributor to a growing number of antibiotic-resistance infections spreading across the United States. Over 2 million Americans die from these antibiotic-resistant infections every year. In light of this information, switching to a vegetable-based diet makes sense.

13 – You’re at less risk of food borne illness

Every year Americans are exposed to food-borne illnesses found in dairy products, meat, poultry, and shellfish. You lower your risk of getting a food-borne illness when you go meatless.

Sometimes food-borne illness such as salmonella is found on plants, but washing them properly makes your plants safer. Be sure to wash your fruits and vegetables well or choose organic to avoid contamination from pesticides or other chemicals.  Here is an easy-to-make vegetable wash recipe:

Ingredients:

  • Two cups of cold water
  • ¼ cups of white vinegar
  • Three tablespoons of lemon juice

Directions:

Mix and spray on your veggies and fruits. Let soak for a few minutes, then rinse in cold water.

14 – Reduces your breast cancer risk

Breast cancer is a growing concern for American women. Researchers suggest that eating meat-free or at least plant-rich may decrease breast cancer by as much as 32%. They also suggest that women with existing breast cancer should have a plant-rich diet and minimal exercise during treatment. This can help reduce your chances of getting cancer later in life.

breast cancer and mammograms

These 17 celebrities beat breast cancer.

15 – Boost your immune system

A nutritiously rich plant diet boosts your immune system. Plant diets are high in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that fight the free radicals that attack your DNA, lowering your immune response to disease and environmental toxins that cause disease. Plants contain everything you need to have a healthy, robust immune system to protect your body.

16 – Helps your vision

Plants are your eyes’ best friends. Vegetables like spinach, kale, corn, and carrots contain vitamin A, lutein, and zeaxanthin pigments that contribute to your eyes’ health. They help fight off eye diseases like cataracts and macular degeneration. So, maybe that old story about rabbits having good eyesight due to carrots was true?

17 – Improves your skin

Everyone wants better-looking skin. Reducing the number of animal products you eat lowers your intake of saturated fats. A plant-based diet increases the vitamins, pigments, and phytochemical that improve your skin.

For instance, lycopene found in tomatoes guards your skin against sun damage. Sweet potatoes contain vitamin C, which assists the production of collagen, which reduces wrinkles in your skin.

18 – Lowers your risk of colorectal cancer

Gut health seems to be the latest talking spot. Plant-rich diets improve your gut health with high fiber content and the ability to reduce inflammation. Eating high fiber lowers your cholesterol and balances your blood sugar, making your intestines function properly—all these things combined to reduce your colorectal cancer risk. A good gut means good overall health.

19 – A plant-based diet may reduce your exposure to chemicals

Eating a diet high in meat exposes you to chemical contaminants when you cook the meats. Meat must be cooked at a certain level to kill bacteria and other contaminants. These chemicals create carcinogens that contribute to cancer and heart disease.

Grilling your meat is often the biggest culprit for overcooking. If you char your meat, you expose yourself to contaminants. If you eat meat, use a thermometer to see when it’s cooked entirely instead of waiting until it’s charred.

20 – You’ll absorb iron correctly

There are two types of iron found in foods. These include heme iron in meats, fish, poultry, and nonheme iron found only in plants. Heme iron is absorbed in a faster rate than nonheme iron. When you pair specific meatless proteins together, you increase the absorption of nonheme iron. You can create high nonheme iron-rich meals with these plant-based pairings.

  • Warm black beans over brown rice
  • Hearty lentil soup and a side of whole-wheat bread
  • Strawberries sliced on top of your bowl of oatmeal

Plants proteins guarantee that you won’t get too much iron at once. Too much iron increases your risk of colorectal cancer, atherosclerosis, and lower insulin sensitivity.

iron deficiency

How do I know if I’m eating enough nutrition?

A good rule of thumb is that half your plate should be fruits and vegetables to ensure you’re getting the proper amount of nutrition from your plant-dense diet. This guarantees you’re getting fiber, potassium, magnesium, iron, and folate.

Add legumes such as beans or chickpeas to the plant for amino acids, fiber, calcium, zinc, and selenium. It’s recommended that you eat 1 ½ cups of legumes a day for the best health. Add nuts, whole grains, seeds for high protein, vitamin E, and plant sterols. Your daily recommendation for nuts and seeds is 1 to 2 ounces.

Nuts and seeds are high in healthy fat,  plus added fiber. Add herbs and spices instead of salt for varied flavors. You won’t be hungry if you include the proper amount of these nutrient-rich foods in this plant diet.

Are there any downsides to eating a plant-based diet?

Does a plant-rich diet have any downsides? Yes and no. The biggest criticism about plant-dense diets is the lack of vitamin B12, mainly found in animal products rather than plants. Vitamin B12 guards your brain. Too low of vitamin B12 impairs your cognitive development and function.

In one study, it was discovered that of the plant-eaters tested, 50% of their blood tests revealed a vitamin B12 deficiency. Because of this, you should take a vitamin B12 supplement, especially if you don’t eat meat at least once a week.

The only other negative from eating a plant diet was a higher risk for stroke. After much research on this strange occurrence, doctors found that lifestyle and low vitamin B12 were big factors in stroke victims.

So, if you plan to eat a meatless diet, include animal products at least once a week or take a vitamin B12 supplement to compensate for any shortages in your body.  Don’t smoke, and include exercise in your lifestyle for the best results with any diet. You must weigh this diet’s downsides before eating a meatless diet.

Fortunately, these risks are easily fixed by including non-processed animal products in your diet or supplementing.

meatlessFinal thoughts on the choice to eat a plant-based diet

Choosing a meatless diet is a big decision. It’s important to understand the different types of diets. There are so many health benefits to eating a primarily plant-based diet.

It’s been proven that a meatless diet boosts your health by lowering your chances for heart disease, cancer, controls blood sugar, and lowers your blood pressure. Plant-based eating limits your exposure to harmful antibiotic-resistant antibiotics and harmful carcinogens from grilling.

Your skin and vision will also be affected for the best when you eat a diet high in plants. Of course, there are a few negatives to consider when you go vegetarian, such as a vitamin B12 deficiency leading to a stroke.

Fortunately, these are easily fixed by eating meat periodically or taking a vitamin B12 supplement. With so many health experts emphasizing the benefits of a plant-based diet, it only makes sense to try to go meatless. So, give this diet a go and enjoy your newfound health.

10 Plant-Based Recipes So Good You Won’t Miss Meat

You took the leap. You decided to eat a plant-based diet. So, what are you going to cook? Don’t worry! Here are five plant-based recipes so tasty you won’t miss eating meat.

Depending upon what type of vegetarian diet you choose, you may or may not be able to eat some animal products. For this reason, some of these recipes contain eggs. Besides this one exception, the other methods are strictly meat-free. There are a variety of recipes covering snacks, lunches, breakfasts or evening meals. If you are egg-free, use whatever binding ingredient meets your requirements.

Enjoy!

Ten Plant-based Recipes So Good You Won’t Miss Eating Meat.

Are you taking the plunge into a plant-based lifestyle? Here are ten delicious plant-based recipes to whet your appetite.

1 – Cauliflower buffalo bites

This easy, quick, and easy recipe is a delicious savory appetizer to serve at a party or a crunchy snack to munch on while you’re watching a movie. It’s economical and meat-free.

Ingredients:

  • Cauliflower, one head
  • 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • One teaspoon Garlic powder
  • Two teaspoons water
  • Dash of kosher salt & black pepper
  • 3-4 tablespoons melted vegan butter
  • 3-4 tablespoons of a buffalo sauce of your choice

Directions:

  • Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Set your oven to 425 degrees. Cut up your cauliflower into small bite-sized pieces.
  • Mix whole wheat flour salt & pepper and garlic powder
  • Drop cauliflower into the mixture. Coat the pieces thoroughly with the mixture.
  • Layer the pieces of cauliflower onto the baking sheet.
  • Bake 20 minutes. You may need to turn the pieces over halfway.
  • Remove the cauliflower and let set aside.
  • Mix the buffalo sauce with the vegan butter.
  • Put the slightly cooled baked cauliflower into the butter and buffalo mixture.
  • Return to the oven and bake for another 30 minutes until crispy and brown. You may need to turn them over halfway.
  • Remove the cauliflower bites and serve immediately with Greek yogurt dip.

Vegan Greek yogurt dip recipe: Mix several tablespoons of plain vegan Greek yogurt with one teaspoon garlic powder, a dash of kosher salt, and black pepper. If you want, you can add some lime juice for an extra zesty flavor.

plant-based recipes

2 – Crunchy tofu

Ingredients:

  • 10 ounces of firm tofu, cup into bite-sized pieces
  • ¼ cup of water
  • Three tablespoons soy sauce
  • Two teaspoons garlic powder
  • 2 tablespoons maple syrup
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne powder
  • Two teaspoons of cornstarch
  • Cast-iron skillet. Olive oil or coconut oil for frying.

Directions:

  • Mix soy sauce, garlic powder, water and maple syrup, and cayenne powder together.
  • Put pieces of tofu into the mixture.
  • Marinade for several hours. Keep the marinade, add the cornstarch, and stir. Set aside.
  • Heat the cast iron pan using olive oil or coconut oil.
  • Remove the tofu pieces from the mixture and put it into the hot oil, saute a few minutes.
  • Add the marinade and cornstarch mixture to the skillet and allow it to cover the tofu.
  • Remove the tofu once warm through and caramelized with the marinade—top of chopped parsley.

Serve as a main dish or side dish, you decide!

3 – Black bean burger

Who doesn’t love a good burger once in a while? This black bean burger is so easy, plus it’s amazingly good.

Ingredients:

  • Two cans black beans, drained
  • One teaspoon smoky paprika
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1-2 tablespoons of lime juice
  • ⅓ cup chopped cilantro
  • One egg
  • ½ cup of bread crumbs

Directions:

  • Pour the black beans into a bowl. Smash the beans with a fork until crumbly adding in salt, cumin, and smoky paprika, olive oil, and lime juice.
  • Keep smashing with a fork until mixed together. Last of all add, egg and chopped cilantro and bread crumbs.
  • Let stand for at least 20 minutes.
  • Form into burger patties. It’s best to wet your hands to make creating the hamburger patties easier.
  • Heat either coconut oil or olive oil in a cast-iron skillet—Fry each burger patty, 8 minutes on each side.

Serve on a vegan bun with cheese, mustard, ketchup, pickles, and lettuce. Add french fries, and you’ve got a great all American meat-free meal.

4 – Greek sweet potato and chickpeas

Sweet potatoes are high in antioxidants, protein, vitamins, and minerals. This delicious recipe is super simple and can be used as a main or a side dish. It’s up to you how you utilize this plant-based recipe.

Ingredients:

  • Four sweet potatoes, cut in half
  • One can of chickpeas
  • One tablespoon of olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
  • Kosher salt to taste

Directions:

  • LIne 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Set oven to 400 degrees.
  • Lay your halved sweet potatoes on the baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil over the sweet potatoes, so they are wholly coated—Bake for 30-45 minutes.
  • Mix the chickpeas, cumin, salt, smoked paprika, and olive oil in a bowl. Place the chickpea mixture on the other parchment-covered baking sheet—Bake for 15 to 20 minutes.
  • Remove potatoes from the oven and pour the chickpea mixture over them.

Serve with tahini drizzle or some lemon juice drizzled on top.

5 – Overnight oatmeal with peanut butter

Yes, overnight oatmeal is a thing. It makes your breakfast time extra quick since all you need to do it grab and go!

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup quick oatmeal
  • 1-1 ½ cup almond milk (flavored or unflavored)
  • One teaspoon chia seeds
  • 1 tablespoon flax seed
  • One tablespoon maple syrup
  • 2 tablespoons of peanut butter

Toppings:

  • Vegan chocolate chips
  • Coconut flakes

Directions:

  • Mix all the ingredients in a bowl.
  • Once the ingredients are thoroughly mixed together, put the mixture into a container or a jar (mason jars work well) with a lid.
  • Put into the refrigerator overnight.
  • Next morning, pull out the jar, remove the lid and top with vegan chocolate chips. If preferred, warm up the overnight oatmeal in the microwave for one minute.
hummus

Here are ten delicious and easy-to-make hummus recipes to try.

6 – Zucchini slices

Zucchini slices make a great side dish. They’re nutritious and delicious.

Ingredients:

  • 1-2 zucchinis sliced into thin slices
  • Olive oil for drizzling
  • Kosher salt
  • Cracked pepper
  • Garlic powder

Directions:

  • Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Set oven to 400 degrees.
  • Lay zucchini slices on the baking sheet. Then drizzle with olive oil until each slice is completely covered with oil.
  • Sprinkle each slice with kosher salt, pepper, and garlic powder.
  • Bake until brown and crispy.

7 – Cabbage steak slices

Everybody loves a good steak now and then. These cabbage steak slices are the perfect meatless steak. Serve with a side of potatoes and a zesty lime sauce for a delicious, nutritious plant-based entre.

Ingredients:

  • Cabbage sliced into “steaks” around 1 inch thick.
  • Parchment covered baking sheet
  • Olive oil for drizzling
  • Kosher salt and ground pepper
  • Garlic powder

Directions:

  • Set oven to 400 degrees.
  • Lay the cabbage slices on the baking sheet.
  • Drizzle each slice with olive oil until completely covered.
  • Sprinkle kosher salt, ground pepper, and garlic powder.
  • Bake cabbage slices for 30-40 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven.

Serve with tahini or zesty sauce

Zesty sauce recipe:

  • Vegan mayonnaise
  • Lime juice
  • Garlic powder
  • Salt and pepper

8 – Spicy vegetarian chili

Ingredients:

  • 1 can pinto beans
  • 1 can black beans
  • One can chickpeas
  • ½ cup of corn
  • 1 28 ounces can of crushed tomatoes
  • ½ cup tomato juice
  • 2 teaspoons chili powder
  • One teaspoon cumin
  • ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

Toppings:

  • 1/2 cup of chopped spring onions
  • One small bag of Fritos (yes, they are vegan)
  • 1 cup plain Greek yogurt

Directions:

  • In a large pot over low heat, add drained pinto, black, and chickpeas. Add crushed tomatoes, tomato juice, corn, chili powder, and cayenne powder.
  • Let spicy chili simmer on low for a couple of hours. Stir off and on to prevent sticking.

Serve each bowl with a handful of Fritos, a couple of teaspoons chopped spring onions, and a dollop of plain Greek yogurt. This dish freezes well, so keep in your freeze for a quick meal.

9 – Vegan mac and cheese

This easy to make dish is gooey and luscious, just the way you like your mac and cheese. Serve it up for lunch or dinner, or that midnight snack you love to grab occasionally.

Ingredients:

  • Whole wheat pasta
  • 1 cup grated Follow Your Heart smoked gouda cheese or cheddar cheese (you pick)
  • ½ cup of almond milk
  • Salt and pepper

Directions:

  • Boil the whole wheat pasta following the instructions on the box.
  • Drain the pasta and put back into the pot.
  • Pour in almond milk and cheese. Mix together
  • Sprinkle in salt and pepper.
  • Simmer on low, add more cheese or milk if preferred.
  • Dig in!

Option: If you want you can pour into a greased baking dish, sprinkle with more cheese and bake until bubbly for 20 minutes in a 350-degree oven.

10 – Vegan oatmeal, peanut butter balls

These are easy to whip up. You can change up the recipe by adding raisins or vegan chocolate chips, whatever you have on hand. Delicious!

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of oatmeal
  • ½ cup of peanut butter
  • ¼ cup of honey
  • ½ cup of flax seeds (you can leave these out if preferred)
  • ½ teaspoon vanilla
  • Half cup of raisins or vegan chocolate chips

Directions:

  • Mix all the ingredients.
  • Refrigerate for 30 minutes
  • Roll into small balls. Place onto a plate. Refrigerate again for 15 minutes.
  • If you have any leftover (you probably won’t), store in a container with a lid and refrigerator.
  • Makes about 15-20 balls depending upon how big you make the balls.

Enjoy your new plant-based adventure with these tasty and nutritious recipes. Before you know it, you’ll be a pro at whipping up meat-free dishes.

plant-based recipesFinal Thoughts on Trying New Plant-Based Recipes

Perhaps you are new to a vegan diet. Or, maybe you are have enjoyed this lifestyle for several months or years. Either way, you should keep your dietary choices varied and exciting to keep you committed to your new style of eating. These plant-based recipes will help you shake things up just a little bit!

12 Benefits of Eating Strawberries (#3 Is Amazing)

Strawberries are one of the sweetest and juiciest fruits around, and they taste good alone or made into a fantastic jam or dessert. No wonder they are called the “Queen of the Fruits.” These red berries are considered a healthy power food because they have essential nutrients that your body needs to thrive.

Eating just a few of these berries each day can have a dramatic impact on your health. Their nutritional value far exceeds that of oranges, bananas, apples, or pears. The nutrient-packed fruits can help you fight infection and disease in your body, and it helps you have glowing skin.

Health Benefits of Strawberries

Fruit lovers can’t resist these appealing looking berries as their red hue makes them one of the love boosting fruits. Have you ever had a chocolate-covered strawberry and a glass of wine on a date?

Additionally, their health benefits are among the vast reasons why these should be on your weekly grocery list. Since these berries are so easy to grow, you can plant them in your garden to have continued health without paying the middle man. Here are 12 benefits that show why the strawberry reigns supreme.

1. Whitens and Brightens Your Teeth

The abundance of Vitamin C in strawberries helps you to polish your grill. People spend hundreds of dollars to have their teeth whitened, and nature holds the power to give you a smile you want for a fraction of the cost.

Plaque is a sticky substance that adheres to the teeth from consuming sugary foods and drinks, and it’s tough to get off. However, the vitamin content helps to turn that yellow hue to a sparkling white. Did you know that Hollywood A-lister Nicole Kidman uses strawberries to brush her teeth every day?

Kidman prefers natural methods to get her teeth clean and shining. She applies a thick paste to them, and she allows it to sit for a few minutes before brushing it into the surface. Whatever she’s doing is working wonders because her teeth look amazing.

pop memes

2. Lighten Freckles

Freckles are a beauty mark that you either love or hate, and there doesn’t seem to be any in-between. When you mention freckles, you get a visual image of a red-headed child with a cute smile and these marks across the bridge of the nose. While they may be adorable on a kid, many adults want to get rid of them.

The best way to lighten your skin tone and fade away these beauty marks is to use strawberries. If you think that sounds crazy, you are not alone. The vitamin and mineral content, as well as the antioxidants, help to wash away impurities as it lightens the skin.

There’s no need for expensive treatments to erase these little brown dots, just pick up a quart of berries at your local supermarket. Use a blender or food processor to whip them into a paste. Allow the mixture to sit on the affected area for 5-10 minutes. You can repeat this process every day until you get the desired results.

3. Fights Acne Better Than Pimple Cream

While you have the paste working on your freckles, you can also use it to fight acne. The high antioxidants in these berries make it just as good as some of the pimple creams you find on the market. The little seeds help to exfoliate the skin and lift the dirt and debris that will cause future acne. Isn’t nature amazing?

4. Improves Mental Health

You’ve heard an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but what does eating strawberries do for you? Is it possible that consuming a few of these berries can alter your mood? Homocysteine is an amino acid that is absorbed from foods like meat.

When the levels become too high in your body, it prevents the blood from getting proper nutrients to the brain. Elevated levels are also linked to heart disease. This acid can also cause your B12 and B6 levels to be abnormally low.

However, eating a hand full of these red berries when your mood tanks have shown to boost your happy hormones. The abundance of homocysteine can cause your dopamine and serotonin levels to tank, making you depressed and moody. Yet, the vitamins and minerals in these berries prevent this acid from building up in the body.

5. Helps with Allergies and Asthma

Allergies and asthma are caused by inflammation in the body. A strawberry has impressive anti-inflammatory properties that help to protect your body from both allergies and infections. The vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants found in these berries make spring allergies a thing of the past.

allergies

6. Strengthens Your Eyesight

You’ve probably been told your whole life that carrots are great for eye health. True, the beta carotene in carrots helps strengthen your peepers, but they aren’t the only fruit or vegetable with these superpowers.

The abundance of the “C” vitamin in this fruit helps to strengthen both the retina and cornea in the eye, but it’s the pigments like lutein that do the real work. Additionally, studies show that it can help to prevent cataracts too.

7. Boosts Immunity

Your immune system is an integral part of your overall health. The potent vitamin amounts in a strawberry are well known for being a booster of your immunity. You can build your body’s defense system by eating just one-half of a cup each day.

8. Prevents Birth Defects

Expectant mothers need healthy amounts of folate to help the baby’s brain develop. The nutrients in these red berries have been proven to help prevent specific congenital disabilities, specifically those that affect the skull and spinal cord. In the early stages and throughout the entire pregnancy, adding a variety of nutrient-rich berries is recommended.

9. Improves Heart Health

Heart disease is the number one killer in the United States. The strawberry has ellagic acid in them that helps in lowering cholesterol levels, which can reduce your risk of myocardial infarction. The high vitamin content can strengthen both the arteries and blood vessels and lower your blood pressure. Adding some superfoods, like berries to your diet, can only help to keep your heart healthy.

10. Burns Stubborn Fat

Are you struggling to lose stubborn fat? Do you have trouble areas that have significant fat storage that won’t seem to melt away? The red hue that gives the strawberry its bright color is caused by anthocyanins. These water-soluble, glycoside pigments have a high PH level that can help to burn that unwanted fat from troubled areas.

11. Fights Malignancy

Many folks prefer to try a holistic approach to fighting cancer. Chemotherapy is often destructive because it destroys not only the good but also the bad cells within the body. A strawberry has an ellagic acid called phytochemical that is known to suppress the growth of malignancies.

Other beneficial oxidants like lutein and zeathancins also help destroy free radicals in the body by canceling their harmful effect. They can prevent cancer from occurring, but they can help stop the spread once the bad cells have begun their destruction.

12. Slows the Aging Process

Did you know that many major cosmetic companies add the “C” Vitamin to their products? The reason they add these vitamins is that it helps to promote glowing skin naturally.

Oxidants found in strawberries and other fruits help to protect your skin from harmful UV rays. They also can help to stop or slow the aging process by protecting you from wrinkles. While it’s not the fountain of youth, it’s an inexpensive way to slow the hands of time without harmful side effects.

strawberriesFinal Thoughts on Why You Should Be Eating Berries Every Day

The many health benefits of strawberries are too vast to mention them all. For instance, did you know those who are experiencing hair loss can find these berries quite helpful? It’s the high levels of Vitamin B5 and Vitamin B6 that nourish and keep the hair from falling out.

Additionally, the magnesium and copper help to keep dandruff at bay. The most wonderful part about adding these berries to your diet is they are delicious. You can really play around with them in recipes, smoothies, or infuse your purified water with them.

The fact that nature provides something so healing and beneficial to your body is mind-blowing. All the things on this list can be treated with medications from your doctor or over the counter, but the problem is that they all come with side effects or a big price tag.

When you use strawberries to treat what ails you, you don’t need to worry about side effects. Forget your face feeling like it’s on fire after treatment or an upset stomach from cancer drugs. Nature provides everything you need to keep your body healthy from your head to your toes.

Psychology Reveals How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Shortcomings

Your parents worked hard to teach you how to do the right thing, but you didn’t need any help in learning wrong as it seems to come naturally. One way that people justify their bad choices is to blame others. From an early age, you learned how to point fingers at your siblings, friends, or even the dog when you were caught doing something wrong.

What is it about human nature that makes us want to shift the burden of wrong over to the next person? Do you remember being a kid and telling your parents not to blame you as it was your little brother’s fault? Even though you may have done the deed, bringing an innocent party into the equation somehow made you feel justified.

One of the first things that children learn to be generous with is guilt. You’re not alone, because everyone is guilty of finger-pointing. As adults, you often find it even easier to find fault in others and blame them for your mistakes or things going haywire.

It goes against your nature to accept responsibility for your shortcomings. Have you ever felt good about biting the bitter pill and admitting to your faults? There’s an old saying that the person who is always smiling has thought of someone to blame.

There’s a difference between owning up to your mistakes and continuously blaming yourself for everything. While it’s not healthy to live under the staggering weight of guilt for things beyond your control, you should feel guilty about doing wrong intentionally and then make it right.

Blaming others for your shortcomings may give you a skewed sense of satisfaction. However, it doesn’t last long, and it won’t do anything to resolve the issues. If you allow the blame game to become a habit, you can blame others and live in misery.

Eight Ways to Stop Blaming Others

It takes a strong person to stand up and own your mistakes. Nobody wants to make themselves look bad when they falter. However, you’ll find that people will respect you more when you admit to your shortcomings and do something to rectify them.

Are you tired of being a pawn on the board of the blame game? It’s never too late to get off the fault-finding merry-go-round and admit when you’ve missed the mark. Here are some positive ways to stop blaming others for everything wrong in your life.

blaming

1. Admit That You Have a Problem

It may sound clichéd, but the first step to solving a problem in your life indeed is to admit that you have one. Of course, it feels uncomfortable to bear the scarlet letter of blame. However, you will feel the burden lifting when you come to terms with your habit of not accepting responsibility for your actions.

Now that you realize that you have a problem, you can formulate ways to resolve it. However, this isn’t going to be an easy task, especially since the blame game is ingrained in the human experience. Owning up to your problem is the most significant hurdle.

Sometimes, it’s difficult to confess your faults because you have low self-esteem. Maybe you feel better and morally superior when you’re blaming others for your shortcomings. Unfortunately, it’s a slippery slope that can cause many conflicts in your personal and professional relationships.

2. Assess Your Life

While finding your responsibility in a current problem may be difficult, reviewing the past problems may shed some valuable light. Perhaps you can make this a section of your journal or make a separate one for this soul-searching task. Look back on some of the major upheavals in your life and see how your pattern of blaming others may have begun.

Maybe it started when you were a child when it helped to get out of trouble by pointing out your siblings or making them partially responsible. Understand that this behavior is normal for children but is unacceptable and detrimental in adulthood. As you review past problems in your life, notice if you still hold grudges and blame others.

3. Learn to Take Some Blame

A prime example of people shifting all the blame to another person is usually observed after failed relationships. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that went sour, you may have self-medicated your heart by making everything your ex’s fault. If this has become a life pattern, perhaps you see a string of broken relationships in your rear-view mirror.

This scenario may also be real if you have a long history of failed friendships, skipping from one job to another, or uncompleted tasks. Sure, it’s easy to blame the ex, your former bosses, or everyone else in your family and friends. Did you ever consider that you share some of the blame?

Of course, this doesn’t apply to toxic or abusive relationships, but you may have made poor choices along the way. It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it, so be woman or man enough in owning your mistakes.

Discovering how to be responsible for your shortcomings can make it less difficult to fix personal or professional relationships. Try to be a non-judgmental observer and see your place in the dilemma. Learning to share blame may take time, but it’s worth it.

4. Learn the Language of Problem Solving

Whether you have a problem at home or work, you’re never going to get anywhere by blaming everyone else and becoming a martyr. It only adds fuel to the fire and breaks down healthy communication.

Do you listen to yourself when you are talking to your family, friends, or coworkers about a problem or weakness? Avoid starting sentences with “You Always” or “You Never.” These toxic prefaces are classic blame shifters. You ALWAYS forget to check the calendar, or You NEVER let me know things in advance. It’s ALL your fault, and I BLAME you. Do these remarks sound familiar?

If you are partially or fully to blame, be strong, and own your mistake. Say things like, “Wow, I messed up on this, or I should have been more attentive to details, and it’s my fault.”

Review the problem together and see how things could have been done differently for a successful outcome.

manipulators

5. Learn to Listen

There’s a big difference between hearing and listening. It goes against every grain of your fiber to listen to someone honestly pointing out your mistakes. The ability to take constructive criticism is a trait of a wise and experienced person.

Hold your tongue and listen to another person’s point of view instead of going on a rampage of self-defense and denial. When you truly listen with an open mind and empathy, it may open your eyes to what you are doing wrong and need to fix.

6. Learn How to Apologize

Yes, we often feel smug and self-righteous when blaming others for our mistakes. It’s especially satisfying if the situation truly was another person’s fault. When you shift the blame, you may be encouraged for a while, but you’ve not won a real victory.

Watch others’ reactions when you confess your faults and genuinely apologize. You garner respect from other people and for yourself when you take proper blame and ask forgiveness. We are all human, and we make mistakes, so learn how to admit, apologize, and learn from your blunders.

7. Learn from Your Mistakes

Einstein allegedly said insanity is to repeat the same actions and expect a different outcome. Once you’ve practiced how to own up to your weaknesses, learn from it, and find ways to remedy them. When you mess up and continue doing the same thing repeatedly, your apologies don’t mean much.

Maybe some of the problems in your personal and professional relationships stem from how you manage your time. Perhaps you are a perennial people pleaser and overextend yourself, so you don’t want to disappoint someone. Take full responsibility for your actions and work on changing how you do things in the future.

8. Learn to Let Go

How long have you nursed that grudge and pointed fingers at people for things that happened years ago? When you realize how your words and actions fit into the puzzle, it becomes easier to leave it in the past. It’s even truer when you’ve learned to recognize your faults and own up to your mistakes.

From now on, refuse to be bound by past blunders and failures and put them behind you. Even if someone is rightfully to blame for causing you grief, find the grace to forgive. Above all, learn to admit your faults, forgive yourself, and learn from past errors.

blamingFinal Thoughts on How to Stop Blaming Others for Your Shortcomings

When it comes to the infamous blame game, nobody comes out a winner. If you’ve noticed a pattern of blaming others for everything that’s gone wrong, then it’s time to take a serious self-assessment. Owning your faults and inadequacies can help you overcome them, and you’ll gain more respect from others and for yourself.

20 Glaring Signs That You’re in a Toxic Friendship

Have you ever heard the term red flag? The first reference in history dates to 1622. The military was the first entity to use this flag as a symbol that they were preparing for battle. When you are in a toxic friendship, then every day might feel like such a battle.

Over the years, this vividly colored banner has become synonymous with danger. It’s used at the beach these days to warn of rip tides or treacherous waters. Additionally, it doesn’t have to be a physical flag, but it can be a feeling that something is wrong.

In relationships, you may get all sorts of warning signs or red flags that something just isn’t right. These feelings that come in the pit of your stomach are a way of your brain telling you that this may be a toxic friendship or relationship.

How do you know if what you are feeling or seeing is a red flag of danger that is giving you a warning from a higher power? Perhaps, your intuitive nature is trying to override your heart and let you know what’s going on.

Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

You want to protect yourself from getting hurt as heart matters are always the most difficult to recover from. Whether it’s a close friend or a romantic interest, you want to know when to walk away. Is there any way to tell that your relationship is not healthy from little warning signs?

1. They Never Apologize

To err is human, but it’s important to say you’re sorry. If you’re in a friendship with someone who will never admit their wrong or apologize, then it’s a big warning sign.

The best friends are those that acknowledge their mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and move on. If they can’t do this one small thing, then you’re in a toxic friendship.

2. They Only Call When They Want Something

Is the only time you ever hear from this person when they want you to do something for them? If you are only a friend when they need a favor, then you don’t need this kind of toxic friendship. Send them to voicemail and find someone who will call you just to see how you are doing.

3. Interactions are Shallow

Do you find that your interactions with your friend are shallow? Do they talk about how wonderful they are, all the things going on in their life, and they tend to stick with surface talk? A true friend wants to hear about your day too, and they will tell you things they won’t tell anyone else.

4. You Feel Deflated After Being with Them

One of the classic signs that you’re in a toxic relationship is the person drains you. If they are constant drama, always full of issues, and it leaves you feeling exhausted after spending time together, then it’s a big red flag.

5. Perpetual Negativity

No one wants to be around a Negative Nelly. If they don’t have one good thing to say about anyone or anything, then it can be draining. Find someone who is positive and lifts you up rather than tearing you down and leaving you melancholy.

6. They’re Always Trying to One-Up You

Do they always have to be better than you? If you got a new bed, then their mattress is superior. When you get a new car, they may down the make or model and put theirs in a higher position. This person is toxic and doesn’t think there is anyone better than themselves.

7. They Get Mad When You Say No

If you ever turn this friend down, they may become quite angry. They expect you to drop everything you are doing and attend to their needs. Heaven forbid you have needs of your own that you must handle.

8. They Pick On or Make Fun of You

When a friend makes comments that are hurtful to you, then they are not much of a friend. If they continuously pick on how you dress, how your hair is done, or a new handbag, they are toxic. You want someone to pick you up and make you feel good about yourself.

best quotes on friends

9. They’re Jealous of Any of Your Other Relationships

Some toxic friendships are apparent because they don’t want you to be friends with anyone else. They can only have one best friend at a time, and they want you to do the same. They may use blackmail or avoid speaking to you if you go out with your other friends and they’re not invited.

10. Always Gossiping

Remember one thing about gossip; if a person is talking about someone else to you, then you can rest assured that they are talking about you to someone else. A little gossip is normal, but if your friend tends to be a tale packer, then steer clear. This toxic friendship will cost you dearly.

11. They Call You Their Best Friend Right Away

Lonely people tend to latch quickly and won’t let go. Did this person start calling you their best friend right away? It takes time to develop a good friendship and to elevate it to the status of “best.” Be wary of those who want to claim these titles right away.

12. They Get Mad When You Don’t Agree with Them

Have you ever been around someone that acts like a child and gets mad if you have a different opinion? Life is about being different and having unique views. If they try to make you see things their way, then stay away.

13. You Catch Them in Lies

All relationships, wither romantic or platonic, are built on trust. If you catch them in a lie, then it’s a big red flag. You deserve to be told the truth, no matter how bad the situation.

If they are lying over frivolous things, then it’s a huge warning sign. Dealing with a liar is a huge amount of negativity and drama that you don’t need.

14. Everything is a Big Deal

Do they make everything a big deal? Are they always in an upheaval about something that doesn’t even seem that important to you? It’s exhausting when people make everything a catastrophe that sends them into orbit. As if you need any more stress in your life?

15. A Toxic Friendship Might Be Passive Aggressive

A passive-aggressive person manipulates you without being loud or downright mean. They use looks, mannerisms, and manipulative skills to get you to do what they want. They are skillful controllers. Sadly, they’re so good at what they do that you might not even know you’re being led around by the nose.

16. Conversations Are One-Sided

Are the conversations between you two always about them? If you try to interject something about your life, they will quickly cut you off to refocus the discussion back to them. They don’t care about you. They only want someone who will listen to them whine and complain. It’s not a healthy relationship as it’s toxic.

17. Vengeful Actions Come Along With a Toxic Friendship

Do they seem vengeful toward anyone who might cross them? Do they often plot revenge against friends and relatives who have done them wrong? Be careful; anyone who is so vengeful will eventually turn on you too.

18. Lack of Dependability

There’s nothing worse than someone who is not dependable. For instance, they say they will call you on Saturday to make plans for the following week. Well, three days later, they still haven’t called. This person may also cancel plans at the last minute or not show up at all.

19. Lack of Integrity

A toxic friendship almost always has a little bit of hypocrisy in it. Do they say one thing but do something totally different? They may seem like the perfect housewife with a charming family on a cul-de-sac.

However, they could be having affairs and dealing drugs all while sitting in church on Sunday. Steer clear of people who don’t “practice what they preach.”

20. Using Personal Information Against You

Anything your friend learns about you can and will be used against you. If you notice that they are taking things they’ve learned about others and using it against them, it’s just a matter of time until it’s your turn. A toxic friendship may already be using what they know about you to manipulate your steps. Be incredibly careful about this person as they are pure poison.

friendship

Final Thoughts to Waving the White Flag of Surrender on a Toxic Friendship

If you see that you’re in a toxic friendship with many of the red flags listed above, then maybe it’s time to surrender. There are plenty of good people in the world that will be friends with you.

You want and deserve someone that will pick you up when you fall, laugh at your jokes, give you a shoulder to cry on, and be there for you. Friendship is not all one-sided, as it should be a 50/50 venture. Find someone who completes you and does not make you feel drained and exhausted after a lunch date. You deserve at least that much in life.

Cosmic Views for August 2020

The cosmic views for August 2020 bring us a sense of optimism and delusion in the air. Neptune, square Venus in Gemini, makes it difficult to be practical with the things that count. The challenge of the virus is still around, and we’re all frustrated, anxious to feel healthy, whatever that means to you. Mars square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn in Capricorn makes communication and accomplishing everyday tasks challenging. Slow down and embrace the struggle.

There is an end to this long journey, but right now, you need to be cautious and safe. You’re exhausted, tired, and upset. This emotion is not what you wanted your life to be, but ask anyone in the circumstances they can’t control, you have to find strength from within to keep going. This will end. Life will once again taste sweet, but patience and perseverance are required.

The Sun begins this month in square to Uranus in Taurus. Your ego will make demands. It wants change. It wants freedom. The Full Moon on the 2nd, in Aquarius, brings the battle between control and freedom to ahead. Don’t do something stupid because you’re impatient. Saturn in Capricorn gives you the strength to do what makes you safe, even if it’s a struggle. Remember, that’s the only way to take control and move forward. Jupiter remains retrograde until September. Then it begins its journey out of Capricorn.

When it finally enters Aquarius on December 20th, you begin to reconnect to life familiarly. Until then, wear your mask and be careful. Keep to your routine, and if you don’t have one, create one. Repetition helps you take charge of your mind and your urges.

Read on for the cosmic view for August.

Cosmic Views for August 2020 for Aries (March 21st – April 20th)

Anger is not an alien emotion to any Aries. However, this month it’s prominent. With Mars square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn, the passion you’ve been repressing will find its way to the surface. Don’t become the saboteur, the person that doesn’t want to listen to what’s right for you because it requires change. And don’t act out for attention.

If you give in to that impulse, then you will live this month fighting pointless battles and getting into the way of your own goals. It’s time to dig in and know what’s important. With Mars square Mercury, the desire to avoid an argument doesn’t exist – you’re looking for a fight to relieve your inner tension. What you will learn about yourself now is the importance of self-discipline, It’s necessary for success in love and business, and it’s the key to your happiness.

The Full Moon on the 3rd, in Aquarius, helps you feel independent and reminds you that it’s how you offer your opinion that determines if anyone hears it. You’re known for being direct, but what you need to do is listen. When you see what someone else wants, then you also know the path to a resolution. Saturn stations retrograde on the 2nd and begin its journey out of Capricorn and back into Aquarius, where it will help you redefine freedom.

Venus enters Cancer on the 8th, and emotions began to rule. Neptune is also square Venus, enhancing delusion and fantasy, which may lead to wrong choices or decisions. This is a dangerous month for all Aries if you have valuable life decisions to make. Your feet are not securely on the ground because your sense of reality is distorted. If you’re in a relationship, whatever is not working will be visible. Face the truth and work it out. If you’re single, it’s not a good time to meet new people.

cosmic view of august 2020

Taurus (April 21st – May 20th)

Taurus is excellent at putting aside any emotion that gets in the way of what they desire. This month, the passion that dominates is anger. With Mars in Aries, square Jupiter, the Moon, Neptune, and Saturn, there is not much that won’t irritate you. Instead of projecting this emotion, try owning it. Let go of self-judgment and give yourself support.

Learn from your mistakes, and you’ll turn them into building blocks. Anger is the first stage of digging up the truth. Now try and understand the real reason behind your agitation. Get to the core of your feelings, and then the emotion will not be wasted.

Life is challenging, and there’s not much you can count on for the moment, but you’ll come out ahead if you just slow down. The lesson is to be at the moment. When you are present, good things happen. The moment is all anyone has. Learn to use it in new ways. With Uranus square the Sun, new ideas and solutions present themselves to help you solve your challenges. Just be open to change. Do something different. Get out of your rut and challenge yourself.

The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd is in your 10th house of career. The square it makes to Uranus opens the door to change and new solutions. Saturn goes retrograde in Capricorn on the 2nd, and the desire to repeat old patterns is strong – this is your chance to change. Learn from how it makes you feel. If you’re in a relationship, things are not secure.

You may see things you don’t like. Ignoring the truth will not help you move forward. If you’re single, it’s not a good time to start something new unless you use it as an escape.

Gemini (May 21st – June 20th)

Gemini begins the month with your ruler, Mercury, in opposition to the Moon, Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn. Not an easy challenge under any circumstances. What you don’t want it to do is feel stuck. If what’s happening is not essential to your survival, then take a deep breath and wait until the 6th when Mercury enters Leo and forms better relationships with the other planets.

As a Gemini, you don’t slow down like other people. There is a need to move and to do anything to keep yourself interacting in the world around you. Sitting still is not an option. Quiet time leads to delving into your wounds or facing the issues that need your attention.

The more you avoid the shadow, the more stuck you feel. With four planets in Capricorn trine Uranus, change is happening with or without your consent. Stop fighting it and allow your life to evolve.  Mars in Aries, squaring the Moon, Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto, keep the anger close to the surface. If you don’t explode, someone else will. There is anger to cope with, and it may come from a partner or a friend, and even if it’s not directed at you, it’s still in your environment. Get out of the way. You can’t control someone else, only yourself – set your boundaries.

Venus square Neptune offers your fantasies as a safe way to escape. Remember, only truth has the power to eliminate illusions, so don’t stay too long in La La Land, it’s not healthy. The Full Moon on the 3rd, in Aquarius, in square to Uranus, creates a need to change your plans. If you’re in a relationship, it’s a bit of a mixed bag.

Your partner is both eager for change and angry that it’s being imposed on him or her. If you’re single, it’s an excellent time to meet new people. Just proceed with caution.

August 2020 Cosmic Views for Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd)

Cancers often appear as if they’re loners, but this is only possible if they have someone who cares, someone dedicated to their survival. They need a mothering energy to check in on them, a good heart that will put their needs before their own.

The challenge this month is concerned with communication – you need to let others know how you feel. You don’t like change, but it’s necessary, and it’s happening now regardless of your judgments or displeasure. If you want to know success, you must pay attention to what others think. There are times when compromise is the only way forward.

Find a way to do just that. Venus enters into your sign on the 8th, and harmony goes away for all the right reasons. Get out of your rut and adjust. Comfort is not always the best choice for Cancer. Mars, in Aries square four planets in Capricorn, creates an environment of anxiety and tension. Be prepared to meet angry people for no apparent reason. However, considering what’s going on around us all, it’s easy to understand that others are on edge and looking for a fight.

Anything to get rid of frustration. Be cautious. Fights can quickly get out of hand.

The Full Moon on the 3rd, in Aquarius, creates a situation you can’t avoid. Whatever you’ve been ignoring will now be in your face. Something has to give or be scrutinized with complete attention. Don’t dismiss the problem. It won’t go away. If you’re in a relationship, things are challenging. It may not even be your relationship that is the problem, but some issues must be faced, and they affect your peace of mind. If you’re single, you need your energy to take care of the moment. You will have sufficient time for love and fun in a few weeks.

Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd)

Leos have a natural strength that comes from a healthy ego. What they need is a way to balance their ego with their emotional needs. The best method to accomplish this feat is to get out of yourself. Help someone on the same path as you, share what you’ve learned.

Until you share your knowledge, it’s not truly yours. With five planets in your 6th house, you either are busy, or you’re stuck. Mars square Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter pushes you to break out of your dilemma and get moving. Open yourself up to new ideas, along with new ways of making things happen. This is a time for inventiveness.

Venus enters Cancer on the 8th, and it softens the blows of Mars by spreading love and good feelings. Uranus in your 10th house, in trine to the Moon, makes change a necessity, not a choice. Repeating the past is not an option. It’s time to rethink your goals. When Uranus stations retrograde on the 16th, you’ll have a chance to go back and pick up opportunities you may have ignored. It’s not yet too late to find a better way.

A gift for the moment is an enhanced intuition. The trine from Neptune to Mercury brings out the philosopher and poet in you. You may feel more sensitive to the feelings of others, and this will help you see the bigger picture. Neptune sextile Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto, add a little fantasy and dreaming to your thoughts. It’s time for new ideas. If you are in a relationship, your partner may be helping you out with your business.

They are supportive and what they have to offer is precisely what you need. If you’re single, a relationship that is not already established will be too much to handle. If you’re ready for a more significant commitment, then make one. Don’t run away from love.

Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd)

Virgos have an obsessive nature. Add four planets in Capricorn, and that obsession gets ignited. The danger is that fear will be triggered, not your passion. When fear rules, then it’s easy to make the wrong decisions. You will act to protect yourself instead of advance along your path. Saturn goes retrograde on the 2nd, and it helps you reconnect to some unresolved issues that need to be fixed.

Saturn always reveals what’s not working and gives you a chance to adjust or make improvements. It’s not easy to look at reality and face the truth, but only truth can be trusted. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 3rd brings work issues to full circle.

The square to Uranus in your 9th house of ideals, insists you reexamine what you believe is possible. Are you aiming high enough or perhaps too low? You need to stretch yourself just beyond what you think is possible, but not so much that it discourages you from trying. Be critical for a moment and change what needs to be altered.

Venus enters Cancer, and the focus is on friendships. The people that you love and those who love you will be there for you. Mars in Aries square Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, and Jupiter makes everything you do feel impossible. Let go of the tension and go with the flow. Anxiety only slows you down and fills you with worry. You are a sign that likes to be in control, and you’re not. That’s why faith is necessary. When you believe something is possible, it is.

All you need is patience and faith. If you don’t have faith – fake it. It gets you going in the right direction. If you’re in a relationship, love is not peaceful. There is too much going on. If you’re single, it will be challenging to meet and pursue a relationship unless it’s part of your destiny.

pop memesLibra (September 23rd – October 22nd)

Libras struggle with power. This is the sign where your focus shifts from others to the self. The soul is ready to be independent and create a life according to its vision – no one else’s. To do this, you must take the lead. If you’re not a leader, you will be a frustrated follower. Get your act together, and you’ll surprise yourself.

Mars, in Aries square Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, and Jupiter, puts the focus on your 4th house and the home. There is a lot of happenings going on under your roof – don’t let others create havoc or rule. To discover what you want, requires a moment of selfishness – what makes you happy, what do you want?

Take care of your needs first. Then you can help others with theirs. With Uranus in the 8th house of transformation and going retrograde on the 16th, there is an opportunity to make necessary changes. You’ve been growing, and you now see yourself and the world differently, so it’s reasonable to want change. Think of this shift as an opportunity to add growth to your persona. If you’re stronger, own it. And if you have a more prominent voice, use it. If you have a higher truth, pursue it. No one stays the same if you’re living your own life. With Venus square Neptune, work may be an issue because your goals are unclear.

You’re not sure of your priorities, and without clarity, it’s challenging to make righteous decisions. Let go of what’s holding you back. It frees you to move forward. Venus enters Cancer and your 10th house on the 8th. This brings new social contacts to your career.

If you’re in a relationship, your partner is not in a good place. They are angry and tense, and it could put a strain on the relationship. If you’re single, this is a time to take care of yourself.

Scorpio (October 23rd – November 21st)

The focus of Scorpio this month is on communication. You have a message to share that must be expressed. If you don’t feel it, then you’re not listening to yourself. Inside there is a voice that wants to be heard. Meditate or spend some time in nature and clear your thoughts.

To be strong, you need alone time. Scorpio energy is attracted to the shadow, and so you frighten others with your courage and confidence when it comes to danger or risk. You enjoy what they fear. The truth is you’re not as tough as you seem. There’s a soft part, a sensitive side that strives for perfection, something you want, and yet you know it’s impossible – but the striving for it makes you strong.

The key to peace and satisfaction is to learn how to give. Remember, what you give comes back to you. When you use your strength to help others, you find that doors open unexpectedly. Mars, in Aries in your 6th house, get you working on a project or a vision. The square to Mercury indicates that anger is a problem; it creates unnecessary tension or fights. Mars square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn in Capricorn create a struggle when it comes to advancing.

You can’t just do things your way. The situation requires compromise. If it’s a problem, remind yourself that nothing is perfect, and what’s more important is to make things happen. The Full Moon on the 3rd, in Aquarius and your 4th house, bring issues in the home to a head. Don’t let anything throw you off your center – learn to adapt, at least for the moment. If you’re in a relationship, things are changing, and not for the worst.

Remind yourself that change is evolution and growth. If you’re single, you may meet someone that challenges you, Its something that gets your interest.

Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st)

Sagittarius rules abundance and expansion. For the last year, Jupiter has been in Capricorn, the sign that rules your goals and career. Capricorn occupies your 2nd house of values and finances. Paying the bills and organizing your investments may be challenging, but in a few months, it will change.

You’re on a new path, and it will bring you rewards. By the end of the year, Jupiter will be in Aquarius, and you will feel valued and free. Mars in Aries, square Mercury, Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn, creates the conflict you’re struggling with for now. Just keep your distance from the anxiety of others and stand up for yourself.

Don’t let the problems of others bring you down. Be supportive, but don’t take over. For Sagittarius, problems come from issues around authority and children. Do you get the respect you deserve? Are you being overlooked or underpaid?

It’s a difficult time to make demands when so many people are out of work, so the atmosphere is less sensitive to your problems. Use common sense, and you’ll find a way to navigate the conflict. There are good news and new possibilities that will add to your coffer. With Neptune square Venus in Gemini, those you trust may not be reliable – for now.

Pay attention to who you rely on – things have changed, and you need to be aware. If you’re in a relationship, things are challenging. Your partner might not agree with you on important issues. Yes, you can work them out.

If you’re single, it’s a time to explore what you’re really looking for in a relationship. If you know your own needs, you’ll also know what makes you happy. Trust yourself.

pop meme

August 2020 Cosmic Views for Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th)

Capricorn has been the focus of the universe for a while. It’s a sign where the journey gets completed, and a new vision must be shaped. With three major planets occupying your sign, you feel both a sense of power and frustration, because things haven’t been moving the way you’d like them to. Don’t be afraid to change directions or adjust your plans. It’s part of the journey.

What’s offered now was never expected. However, that’s what’ life is all about. You achieve, you grow, and then you change because the journey has transformed you into a stronger and wiser person. Draw on your experiences for answers and trust your instincts.

Mars in Aries is about vision. If you have sufficient faith, you can see yourself in a better place. Mars is afflicted this month, making a square to Saturn Pluto, Jupiter, and Mercury. There are obstacles to overcome, problems to solve, but if you embrace them, they won’t last long. By next month you’ll see the light.

With Uranus square the Sun, you want to transform yourself, and yet it can only be done one step at a time. Have patience. Venus square Neptune sends a word of caution when it comes to making decisions in regards to your career. Neptune can cloud the truth and present a path that leads nowhere — pay attention. Check the facts. The Full Moon on the 3rd in Aquarius focuses your attention on finances. You’re either bringing in the money or spending it too quickly. Or perhaps a little of both. Strive for balance. Saturn goes retrograde on the 2nd, and old issues are revisited.

Resolve what you can.

If you’re in a relationship, your partner is changing, and in the long run, it’s a good thing. Yes, you’ll have to adjust. If you’re single, there’s a sense of romance in the air, just don’t let your fantasies get too far ahead of reality.

Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th)

Aquarians enjoy being alone. It’s how they get in touch with who they are and what makes them unique. With five planets in your 12th house this month, you must rely on faith and instinct. So much of what you want at the moment is out of your control.

Trust your ability to respond to the moment. The Sun brings partnerships, both business and personal, into play. You may not agree on important issues. You’re a great communicator, so make your case, then listen to the other side. You’ll find a way.

With Venus square Neptune, finances need your attention. It’s also important to double-check the facts. The truth will be hidden, so don’t trust what you hear. Mars in Aries square Mercury and Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn, and the Moon indicates that anger will be something you’ll have to contend with.

Yes, there’s tension in the air, so don’t push anyone’s button unless it’s absolutely necessary. Jupiter goes direct on the 13th, and friendships become a focus. You’re either making new friends or old ones are showing you how much they care. The Full Moon, in your sign on the 3rd, creates a crisis or a need to make a choice. What’s been hidden, suddenly becomes apparent.

The square the Full Moon makes to Uranus brings a surprise. No, you’re not in control, so make things work. Saturn goes retrograde on the 2nd, and by the end of the year, it will be back in your sign, offering you structure and support. If you’re in a relationship, the Full Moon brings an issue to your attention.

Don’t ignore it. If you’re single, it’s not a time to get close. There are other action items that need your attention. Romance may have to be put on hold.

cosmic view of august 2020

The August 2020 Cosmic Views for Pisces (February 19th – March 20th)

Pisces are water, intuitive, and mentally adventurous. You either rule your world or feel like a victim, the choice is yours. To rule, you need to own your power, which means you have to be present. It sounds simple, but it’s not. It’s so much simpler to escape into a false reality.

Life is so much more enticing than your imagination if you’re not afraid of conflict. Life is a struggle that must be embraced. With Neptune in your sign since 2011, you’ve been asked to connect to your soul. Know who you are. Know your passion and your path. Then you won’t feel lost or empty.

With five planets in your 11 house, organizations and friends have been and still are a major focus. The Full Moon in your 12th house may throw you off your center around the 3rd, so don’t plan any important meetings for that day, if you can help it. With Mars in Aries in square to Jupiter, Pluto, Saturn, and Mercury, there are issues around finances and what you choose to invest in.

Don’t let worry block your instincts. It can paralyze you. Remember, fear will only keep you stuck. Uranus square the Sun makes work an unpleasant place. There are changes being implemented, and you’ll have to adjust whether you want to or not. If you are changing jobs, open yourself up to new paths. The unknown is the place of the greatest possibilities.

However, you need to take a risk. Neptune square Venus makes truthful communication a challenge. To see the truth, you have to want it. For now, it’s a challenge to know who you can trust and what is real. If you’re in a relationship, there is anger between you and your partner. Pay attention, and don’t lose your temper. If you’re single, it’s not a good time for romance. Too tumultuous.

Three Inmates Save a Georgia Prison Guard’s Life

On July 10th, 2020, three inmates saved the life of a Gwinnett County, Georgia Sheriff’s Deputy after he suffered a medical emergency.

As the deputy completed his security rounds, the inmates noticed that he appeared to be unwell. Inmates, who were locked down in their rooms, kept a close eye on the well-liked deputy as he completed his check.

As he returned to the guard’s desk in the unit, the deputy passed out, hitting his head on the concrete floor; he sustained a skull fracture.

The inmates in the unit knew they had to help, but what could they do? The inmates closest to the desk could see the dire condition of the officer, and they knew they had to do something. They began hollering for the deputy by name and banging on their doors to rouse him.

A few inmates started making noise. Then the entire unit chimed in to help create even louder noise. They knew they needed to awaken the unconscious deputy. And by now, they could see blood pooling around the man’s head.

The inmates were able to rouse the deputy.  He came to long enough to stand up and hit the “unlock” button and sprung open the doors to the rooms in their unit. Almost immediately, he passed out again.

The inmates reacted immediately.

As soon as the doors popped open, three inmates rushed out and began giving first aid immediately. They also used the desk phone and the distress alarm on the deputy’s radio to call for the assistance of other officers in the facility. Help arrived quickly, and the deputy received immediate treatment.

The deputy later reported that he did not know that he was knocked out or had a head injury, but he heard a lot of beating noise that sounded like a drum and thought that an inmate was in trouble. He thought the inmate had needed him, but it turned out that he needed the inmates!

The deputy is resting at home and expects to make a full recovery and return to work as soon as possible. The entire sheriff’s department feels grateful for the assistance of  Terry Loveless, Walter Whitehead, and Mitchell Smalls.

They note that it was not the responsibility of these men to look after the deputy, but that it goes to show that human kindness sometimes comes from the places where you would least expect it.

Why would the inmates react so positively to a deputy down?

We were curious to learn what motivated these inmates to rush to the aid of the deputy down situation.

According to Deputy Shannon Voldodav, the Public Information Officer of the Gwinnett County Sheriff Department, their facility offers an abundance of therapeutic programs. They do not simply incarcerate the men and women in their jail. Instead, they create opportunities for anyone who chooses to participate in reshaping their lives.

“We provide many therapeutic programs for inmates housed in the Gwinnett County Jail.  If we can release inmates better people than when they arrived, we’ve provided a great service to the community.”  ~Deputy Shannon Voldodav

These programs are not mandatory, but many inmates wisely choose to learn how to make long-lasting changes that translate into their lives outside of jail.

This willingness to change demonstrates that many inmates are actively working towards a better future, making it even more important for family members to support their journey. When a loved one has the opportunity to secure their release, accessing the right resources, such as bail bond loans, can make all the difference. These loans provide a lifeline for families who want to reunite and help their loved ones continue their personal growth outside the confines of the jail.

By securing bail, families give inmates the chance to apply the lessons they’ve learned through therapeutic programs in a real-world environment. This transition can strengthen their resolve to lead a positive, law-abiding life while reinforcing the support system they have waiting for them at home.

Here are three of the programs that the inmates of this facility enjoy.

1 – The Garden Program

inmates

Gardening offers many therapeutic benefits, as evidenced by research. Some of these reasons to give gardening a try include the following:

  • The activity reduces anxiety and stress
  • Gardening improves the mood–how can you be unhappy when you are out in the sunshine?
  • It gives the inmates a feeling of accomplishment.
  • It’s an excellent exercise.
  • Increases self-esteem
  • Learning to cooperate and work with others

Both male and female inmates at Gwinnett County Jail may participate in The Garden Program. In partnership with the University of Georgia, inmates receive intense knowledge of gardening. They learn:

  • Sustainability
  • Soil management
  • Irrigation
  • Crop management
  • Weed control

Many discover a love for working outdoors. Indeed, some graduates now work in agriculture or landscaping after serving their time.

The gardening program creates a win-win for both inmates and the jail administration. To date, the gardeners have produced over 12,000 pounds of corn, tomatoes, eggplants, peppers, and other healthy foods for the jail kitchens, providing a better-balanced diet.

garden

2 – Jail Dogs

A second therapeutic program at Gwinnett County Jail is one they are very proud of, Jail Dogs. Because of the overcrowded conditions at local dog rescues, this program literally saves lives–of the dogs most endangered.

The inmates work with professional canine trainers who donate their time and teach the inmates how to train dogs.

That might sound simple on top of the surface, but the dogs in this program are the most likely to be euthanized by the overcrowded shelter. Dogs arrive at the jail from nightmarish situations. Many are beaten, starved, bruised, burned, and some even have bullet wounds.

As training formally commences, the inmate handler bonds with the dogs to restore their trust in humankind and nurses the dogs back to health. Once the dog is wholly restored, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, they go up for adoption with loving families.

The transformation occurs not only in the dogs, however. It also happens that the inmates learn to be kind, compassionate, patient, and more understanding. Some go on to leave the jail and work at kennels, vet clinics, having learned that they have a knack for connecting with animals.

Since the Jail Dogs program started in 2016, they have rehabbed over 650 dogs, according to Deputy Volkodav.

inmates

The Jail Dogs program rehabilitates inmates and canines.

3 – Gwinnett Reentry Intervention Program (GRIP)

Recidivism is a very real threat to every jail. Inmates serve their time intending to stick to the straight and narrow. But, it turns out that life on the outside is not as cut and dry for many. The Gwinnett Reentry Intervention Program lends a helping hand to inmates upon release, in a partnership with the local United Way chapter.

This program provides newly-released inmates with:

  • Mental health services, if needed.
  • Transitional housing to avoid homelessness
  • Addiction treatment or relapse prevention
  • Finding employment

The GRIP program reduces Gwinnett County’s rate of recidivism by as much as 50%, according to Deputy Volkodav.

Final Thoughts on the Three Inmates Who Saved A Prison Guard’s Life

To some, this story sounds remarkable. Many would assume that the guard would have been victimized. However, we know that the power of positivity can work miracles in life–as it did in the injured deputy’s life on July 10th.

Hats off to Terry Loveless, Walter Whitehead, and Mitchell Smalls, the three inmates who save the life of the officer on that day. This is what the Power of Positivity is all about!

How to Tell If a Person Is Smart in 3 Minutes or Less

We’re not here to discuss the intricacies of intelligence or what makes someone smart, so let’s get that out of the way.

Yes, we know that things like I.Q. are controversial. And yes, we know that intelligence can be defined in many ways. Yes, our current methods of measuring intelligence need to change.

But let’s not kid ourselves. Some people are smarter than others. And, sometimes, we must be able to tell if a person’s smart.

Maybe we’re business owners and need to hire a sharp mind. Perhaps we’re looking for the best and brightest doctor to keep us healthy. Or maybe a brilliant tutor to help our child sharpen their skills.

We want to person we’re hiring to have a good head on their shoulders.

How can we find out who’s smart in a time-efficient manner?

A select group of folks from Quora chimed in – and the we selected just one. Not only does the answer make the most logical sense, but it’s also valid from both a common-sense perspective and an empirical one.

For reference, the original question is: How can I identify the smartest person in the room?

One Timothy Emmanuel Lim wrote the answer that the we chose to use. So, Mr. Lim, if you come across this article, thank you for your incredible insights.

“Different smart people, different cues to look out for.”

To give Mr. Lim his full proper credit and to account for subsequent edits made, the we posted his observations in their entirety. (Please see the edited portions in ‘3. It includes the element of humility.’)

smart

‘Different smart people, different cues to look out for.

The smartest person (in no particular order) is most often;

  1. The hardest to verbally challenge (they may have opinions, but it’s purely derived from facts and logic).
  2. The quietest (they’re listening very closely and attentively — still water runs deep).
  3. The most observant (the little things that count are the big things to see — God is in the details).
  4. The fastest to question (and the hardest to answer).
  5. The most reserved, but not shy (because they’re constantly thinking, listening, and processing thoughts, rather than wasting time assuming and unfiltering their comments).
  6. The least reactive (because they know what to expect and not get surprised).
  7. The hardest to convince (while rebutting endlessly).
  8. The most open to question and being proved wrong (truth be above all things — including one’s ego).
  9. The most (logically) critical.
  10. The most bored-looking (not bored, just thinking about other things).
  11. The most unamused (mainly because things may get too predictable).
  12. The most direct (without being rude).
  13. The most secretly attentive (watch the eyes, it’s the greatest indicator).
  14. The most curious (not hyperactive).
  15. The most calm and controlled (rationality keeps the head calm).
  16. The most incomprehensible (some intellects are so superior, they’re too intelligent to be understood, given the right circumstances — thirties communication range).
  17. The most unorthodox (lateral thinking often proves intellectual superiority).
  18. The most receptive (open-minded).
  19. The most verbally intense.
  20. The one who looks the most dumb (circumstantial — never judge a book by its cover).
  21. The least impressed (they’re impressed by things not many people are impressed by, vice-versa).
  22. The least outwardly impressive (again, still water runs deep — they usually don’t care about other’s impressions of them).

Of course, these are some characteristics. The smartest person in the room doesn’t need to display all 22 because it can be subjective to character, personality, views, and upbringing.

The list is non-exhaustive. There are also exceptions here and there.

The smartest is not to be confused with the most knowledgeable. The two characteristics often go hand-in-hand but are independent of each other.

And smart people don’t often think of themselves as smart.

Why Lim is Right

smart peopleThere is much to unpack here, so let’s get to it.

Lim’s response makes sense for two reasons: (1) the humility with which he writes, and (2) the (probable) truth behind its assertions.

I wanted to check Mr. Lim’s credentials by reading some of his Quora posts. He does indeed craft his answers with what seems to be piercing logic. He writes well and is extremely thorough in both his original postings and in his replies. Moreover, he cites references and considers details – two marks of an excellent mind. He’s most certainly of above-average intelligence, a.k.a., smart.

Most importantly, he is humble and open-minded. As we will find out, these are also common characteristics of smart people.

I then got into the meat of Lim’s answer – and am in total agreement on almost every point. Here’s why:

  1. It mirrors a subjective experience.

Most knowledgeable people fit what Lin says to a T. They’re bright without showing it; quiet, receptive, and respectful; reserved and non-reactive; curious and openminded; humble and unassuming.

Most people would agree their perception of smart people is nearly dead-on with what Lim describes. While this isn’t empirical evidence, it’s quite strong and commonsensical.

  1. The author describes introversion, which is related to high I.Q.

If you read through Mr. Lim’s list, you’ll notice that pretty much every line applies to the introvert.

Why is this important?

Because there exists a direct link between introversion and high intelligence. In a study  undertaken by researchers at the University of North Georgia (USA), researchers state in the introduction “It’s (noted) that introverts may exhibit higher I.Q. scores due to their calculated and analytical predisposition because they are more prone to think through things rather than being impulsive.”

Included in the analysis were 59 female undergraduate students; 41 tested as extroverts and 18 as introverts. The introverted group “had significantly better I.Q. scores” than their extroverted counterparts.

Multiple other studies have reached a similar conclusion: introverts are (generally) smarter.

  1. It includes the element of humility, which is characteristic of smart people.

Most smart people exhibit an air of humility, and the ones that don’t aren’t the smart people you want to associate with. Mr. Lim includes two excellent quotes that typify a smart person’s attitude towards their own and others’ intelligence:

“I know I’m intelligent because I know that I know nothing.” — Socrates

And an even better quote to corroborate;

“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” — Albert Einstein

Of Socrates, Lim adds:

“A dissection on the quote of Socrates; Socrates states that the more you know — the more aware of what you don’t know, realizing that there is only so much your mind is capable of understanding, henceforth paradoxically stating that intelligent people understand their limitations and therefore humbly acknowledges that they’re not knowledgeable (enough)…”

Also notice that Lim’s response includes open-mindedness, curiosity, reservation, and quietness. Each trait is a hallmark. Such traits often indicate humility, as well.

We could also strengthen the argument for Lin’s insights by pairing #3 with #2. We most often link humility with introverted personalities, which, as we’ve shown, links to higher intelligence.

  1. It makes sense (look at the smart people in your life, including yourself!)

Lin’s answer makes almost total sense. I say almost because it is missing what I believe to be a crucial element: a good heart. Heart intelligence is a real thing, and it is important.

So, Mr. Lim, may I suggest that you add the 23rd item to your list? Let’s keep it simple: “They have a good heart.”

smart

Final Thoughts on Discerning a Smart Person

After you find the “smartest person in the room,” ensure they have the heart to go with it.

Skip to content