3 Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Friendship

3 Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Friendship

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Friendships are wonderful parts of life, but they’re only a part of the total experience that makes up who you are.  Many friendships are very positive, but some can become toxic. When toxicity occurs in your life, it’s important to see the signals and let it go.

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Here are 3 Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Friendship:

1. It’s consistently a one-sided relationship.

Everything in this world works in perfect balance. When something is off you can feel it; you can see it. Positive relationships work the same way. It takes effort from both people to make a great friendship. If you feel like things have changed and you go out of your way often to keep in touch or arrange meet-ups it’s time to find out why. Keep in mind, opposite personalities usually attract and it’s normal for one person to be more forward.

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However, we’re talking about a substantial shift, where the other person shows less interest and availability. And, when you do get together it doesn’t feel the same.

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A great relationship is always able to pick right up where it left off. Time and distance make no difference. If your meetings feel forced than perhaps you’re souls journeys are taking different paths and that’s okay. Friendship should never feel forced.

2. You don’t feel good after you talk to or see this person.

After speaking with a good friend you should feel uplifted. A friend should bring value to your life and celebrate your journey with you. Good friends laugh with you. The mood is lighthearted and fun. On the contrary, if you feel drained its time to consider why you are still friends with this person.

People can have bad days or trying times and need to vent. That’s okay. They need encouragement, love, and patience. During this time you can harness inner strength. But, if the relationship continues to deplete you in such a way that it affects your life significantly, and is not enjoyable anymore, it’s time to set limits. Perhaps even part ways depending on how detrimental they are to your well being.

3. Your lifestyle paths have dramatically changed.

Good friends don’t have everything in common, but enough that allows them to relate to each other and have fun. When paths start going in such opposite directions where each person no longer feel like they know others, it may be time to evaluate the relationship. Especially if it’s in such a way that is not in alignment with your morals and beliefs.

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In life, many people come and go. Only a few stay. The ones that stay always have a special place in our hearts and you may only see them once in a while. The dramatic changes we are talking about here are substantial enough that they create toxic energy and influence in your life.

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When it begins to affect you negatively, it’s time to get out.

The best thing to remember is that no relationship is a waste. Every person we meet teaches us something new.

Has this happened to you?  Discuss below:

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49 thoughts on “3 Signs It’s Time to Release a Toxic Friendship

  1. That's pretty much it…unfortunately I've been facing a similar friendship, that's sad but what I do need to learn is how to detach – that's the most difficult part, 'cause one side still wants to try to invest in it, but the other doesn't anymore, it's tiring…friendship needs exchanges, otherwise it won't be able to last…

  2. Someone that I consider you like family last year has hurt me way too many times and I feel like I've had to beg to be her friend my parents are gone and all she does is criticize how I was raised which is ridiculous I no longer talk to her

  3. I met a friend at a time she was going through a painful divorce. She was struggling as all her friends were married and she no longer had much in common with them. We'd meet up regularly for drinks and meals out, went on holiday together and even went speed dating together. She is now married again. I rarely see or hear from her..even though we work in the same office. All the things she bemoaned of her married friends she is now doing to me. Also, I've given up alcohol so she feels bad for drinking in front of me, even though I've said it's not a problem at all. It's such a shame for it to end but I get nothing out of it anymore.

  4. After a long period of time, I cut ties with a person who I had considered my BFF for most of my life. We had been friends since we were in kindergarten. But recently I found she had been going behind my back, telling me one thing, then going to others and doing the opposite. The end was when she made my 27th wedding anniversary the worst day of my life. Since then, she has tried to make contact with me. When I ignored her efforts, she accused me of using people to my purposes then discarding them when they were no longer useful. Mind you, I opened my home to her when she had no where to go.

  5. So often I felt hurted in friendship, it s also on my side. Because it is not always easy to comunnicate and respect and understand boundaries of others and myself.

  6. Was I felt like I didn't like who I was around a group it was te to no longer be part of it. Being someone I liked was more important then hanging with the crowd! It maybe lonely but it feels right!

  7. I have a friend with whom I don't feel comfortable confiding in because I'd end up feeling worse after speaking with her about the matter. In fact, there have been a few times I would go home angry after visiting her because of what she had said to me. Also I was frequently having my feelings and opinions disrespected by her. Instead of just cutting her off completely, I have just demoted her from BFF status.

  8. Agreed. When one finds that they always initiate dialog with little or no response and the other just doesn't put any effort into the relationship it is time to appreciate the good memories but move on. I choose to focus on those friendships that are a two way street rather than trying with no avail to have a friendship with someone who clearly isn't invested.

  9. I've recently had to spilt with a friend I've known since kindergarten. The friendship was very one sided and I never felt uplifted from anything they said. When I left them go, they took it personally. I'm glad I did it because it's more obvious now than it has ever been, why we are no longer friends. I'm grateful.

  10. I've had to cut people out of my life that act this way towards me. They're narcissistic and disrespectful. And in order for me to live a life that's heading in a positive direction, I need to embrace more positive-minded people and cut loose the people that are boat anchors to my soul. Every time I'm neglected to let go of one of these people, I find out far too late that I had to do it anyway, and regret that I didn't do it sooner…would have saved me a lot of headaches, heartaches, and arguments.

  11. Yes right now I'm I bad relationship once with my boyfriend another with a friend but both of them don't wanna leave easily they think they love me and sometimes Im thinking like there's no other way but stay with them

  12. I really appreciate all of your personal input and stories. I know now that I'm not alone and I'm not a terrible mother that she thinks I am and tells everyone that I am. I think that is because I don't participate in her self made drama and her destructive lifestyle. Like all of you, I just need to pray and hope she comes to her senses and realizes the hurt she has caused and maybe finally take the responsibility to mend what she has broken. I have tried to no avail, so I guess the ball is in her court now. Hopefully it won't be to late….thank you to all.

  13. I'm having to make this decision at the moment. It's so hard especially by nature I am a typical mother hen. But the realisation that it's all one sided has hit me recently. I really believed them when they said they cared etc but I think back now and u realise you don't keep hurting someone in the same way over and over if you care about them. Friendship and love are about looking out for the other persons interests even if it takes sacrifice on your part but if only one of you is giving and loving then reality sets in and you have to see it for how it really is without all the fancy excuses.

  14. Just pray pray pray for her. I have the same situation with my niece. She shows affection to everyone but me. And I have done the most for her. (My sister is deceased). So I detach with love and pray for her well being.

  15. Linda..I had to let my son go for all the reasons you talk about. He's God's child and I pray for him constantly. Beyond that, he is a grown man, who has made decisions and continues to make them but lives in the past and takes zero responsibility for the choices he's made. It was damaging to my physical and mental health to continue on that path. No judging, just moving forward, letting go, and praying for him to remember God and what his path is.

  16. If a relationship is not working and both people are not committed to fixing it, it may be time to move on. A good counselor can help too.

  17. You could have been speaking for me but mine is 38. Everything is always about her and her drama. If it wasn't for my grand child, I would cut ties until the relationship could become healthy again. Prayer is good!

  18. Linda Mariano Elvin I dont talk to my parents, that is because that relationship had become toxic and damaging to me. It was hard to do at the time and there is always times I wish it could be different, but in my circumstances I had tried and things had always reverted back to how they were. We are conditioned to think its ok to put up with familys abuse but its not. You dont have to cut ties complely if that feels to harsh, but it is ok for you to distance yourself from that relationship if you feel its right for you. Everyone is entiled to live their life with out someone draging them down or dumping on them. Family or not. Blessings to you 🙂

  19. For me it was all of them. I had been best friends with someone since we were 5 but once we graduated high school, she began acting like all three points. And it hurts that I've had to leave that friendship behind but I'm healthier for it. I became depressed twice and found out that it was because of this friendship I had with this one person. That friendship was no longer good for me and my other friends could see it, so could my mother. I'd be lying if I didn't say I do miss the person she once was but, I can't have the person she is now, in my life.

  20. I was "friends" with a woman for about 9 months. She constantly told me about her other failed friendships. She tried to build me into the one and only person who changed her life. After a while I started to feel drained, exhausted while she was over (and that was always because she never went home. In the rare times she wasn't over I found myself getting angry at her. I realized 2 things rather quickly: 1) she was an emotional vampire, and 2) she was emotionally manipulative. I am a kind person, and like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. When they have to go, however, they have to go!!!

  21. Guess all you can do is be decent to her – listen to her and don't judge – don't feel hurt if it's not what you want or need – and most of all pray for her – she is growing up – sometimes it takes longer. Most of all be kind to yourself – you made her – she'll come around – Remember you are loved.

  22. What happens when these three apply to your daughter….she never takes the time to call me and when she does, the conversation always revolves around her own drama and her not taking responsibility for her words or actions. She blames everyone for her situation but herself but she chooses not to change it. After I do talk to her I feel angry, not involved in her life, drained and hurt…she is 33 years old and consistently creates drama and pulls everyone into it.

  23. For me the telltale sign was the inner dialogue I kept hearing when I was with this old friend. It didn't sound good. I agree that friends ought to lift you up and brighten your outlook. Everyone has bad days and bad phases, but generally a friendship needs to enrich your life.

  24. Steps 1 and possibly 3 apply to my friendship with my childhood best friend but every time I talked about ending the friendship in the past she begged me not to and promised to change but then didn't. I've been talking to God about it and trying to figure out what to do and what to say. She and I have been "friends" for 21 years and only the first 9 were good but some ither years have had good moments…

  25. I have felt this way in my life with my significant other. I think it's time to move on… Sad because we have four children together, it truly breaks my heart, but I don't feel it's healthy to try and "stick it out" either. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

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