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Blind Woman Provides Jobs and Hope for Disabled People

August 28, 2020 by Deborah Tayloe

Erin Willman refused to give up against the odds, and now she’s inspiring disabled people and their families. Her message of positivity is one we could not resist sharing!

White Cane Coffee is a company founded by 22-year-old Erin Willman. Not only is this young entrepreneur inspiring young women to follow their dreams, but she is also leading a much bigger movement. Her goal? Normalizing disabled people in the workplace.

When Erin was fifteen, she lost her vision. It was then people started telling her what she cannot do, but she wanted to show them what she can do. Erin had applied for jobs but was turned away because of her disability. Erin decided that instead of letting other people turn her away, she would create her career. In just one year, the young woman became the CEO of her own company–White Cane Coffee.

What started as an idea on a bad day is now a booming business that has put Erin’s coffee on the shelves of several shops in different cities, but this is just the beginning. Her main storefront is located in the small, charming town of Warren, Pennsylvania. There, she sells an assortment of organic coffee whole bean, ground, compostable individual-cups, and cold brew blends.

But White Cane Coffee does more than sell java to visitors and residents of their small community. They create opportunities for blind and autistic people to learn excellent work skills. Moreover, the workers gain confidence in their overcoming the roadblocks they face each day. Take a look.

What does White Cane Coffee stand for?

As well as fantastic coffee, inclusiveness is the main focus when it comes to the making of White Cane Coffee. Each package that the coffee comes in is printed with a label containing Braille. This concept was just one of Erin’s brilliant ideas to become more inclusive.

She often mused to herself and asked the question, “why should people who are blind not be able to shop for themselves?”

White Cane Coffee is one of the first companies to label all of its products in Braille.

White Cane Coffee provides jobs for the handicapped community at a livable wage. The shop is currently providing eight jobs to disabled workers. The goal is to allow them to have freedoms they should receive elsewhere but are wrongfully deprived of.

By creating the jobs provided at White Cane Coffee, the company enriches the lives of these people. Erin and her family always share their motto,

“If you can change one person’s life, you are changing the world.” ~Erin Willman

These jobs go deeper than paying wages. Indeed, they bring hope to the employees to show them they, too, matter and are a working part of something much bigger. Erin even brought her employees with her to a business dinner meant for the CEOs of the companies in Warren County. She believes they are just as important as she is to the company.

How the company profits benefit disabled people

Like any other company, profit goes to pay the employees that are working for the company to allow them to have a livable wage.

But that is not enough for this entrepreneurial enterprise. White Cane Coffee’s profit also benefits so many more people beyond their employees. Here are ways they advocate for people who face unique challenges.

Helping to defray the expense of leader dog training

Proceeds go to The Sight Center for Northwest Pennsylvania. That organization’s mission is to “prevent blindness and promote independence for those with vision loss.”

Through this center, Erin and White Cane Coffee began to support a leader dog named Erie. A portion of White Cane’s money was given to the program to support the dog’s training. Erin is unable to have her own dog due to an allergy. Still, she decided to help with the cost of a leader dog for another person. Recently, Erie went off to Michigan for his final training. This is a program that will continuously receive our support.

Leader dog in training, Erie, poses for the camera.

Working with blind and disabled children in the community

Additionally, Erin spends much of her time working with schools and organizations that specialize in teaching the blind and disabled. She is exceptionally proud of the Western Pennsylvania School for Blind Children, located in Pittsburgh. Erin visited them and saw their program designed to encourage work and self-reliance for their students. These skills are vital to independence.

Also, Erin had the opportunity to speak at the National Federation of the Blind Convention in Harrisburg, PA. Her message is one of hope and encouragement.

Her opening statement at that event was the following:

“When you lost your vision, people stood in line to tell you what you can’t do, now let’s talk about what you can do. You have value, you have worth and you can live an independent life.” ~Erin Willman

Hundreds of people in attendance remarked that Erin’s comments gave them fresh hope.

Helping non-profits raise funds

Warren County Children’s Advocacy Center is another one of the many programs White Cane Coffee supports. She supports them because, as she says, “They speak for those who can not speak for themselves.”

The coffee company created a unique blend of coffee. And for each bag or box sold, a portion of the proceeds goes to them. Erin’s fundraising strategy empowers organizations to sell coffee at competitive prices to drive better fundraiser earnings margins for the non-profit.

Erin’s reasoning for putting money into other organizations is straightforward. She states that it was never her dream to be the CEO who owns five cars, but it is her dream to be the CEO who changes the world.

Final thoughts on how Erin hopes to help disabled in her next phase

Above all, Erin and her team remain thankful for the fantastic support from their community and disability support providers. And more importantly, they are proud of how much they accomplish in providing resources and empowerment to disabled people. White Cane Coffee continues to flourish and plans to expand.

They hope to continue to create additional jobs, which will help even more people become independent. To that end, they are working on some very exciting projects to help gain the footing necessary to jump to the next level as a company. Their future looks hopeful!

You can listen to Erin on a podcast at https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/amiaudio/the-pulse-on-amiaudio/e/76605378 to hear her speak about her company’s plans and how she will continue to be a voice for disabled people.

Connect with Erin Willman:

www.whitecanecoffee.com
2 1/2 E 3rd Ave, Warren, PA 16365
Follow White Cane Coffee on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @whitecanecoffee

15 Romantic Gestures to Show Love to Your Boyfriend

August 28, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you’ve been with your boyfriend for any length of time, then you know it’s hard to buy for a guy. Are you running out of ideas for the perfect gift for your partner? Men are traditionally the ones who give to the woman, and it’s hard to reverse the roles.

Many believe that men aren’t hopeless romantics, but nothing could be further from the truth. They just aren’t as good at showing their feelings. Men can be quite sensitive and even romantic, but they aren’t going to let you see that side very often. Even macho guys love being showered and adorned with gifts, especially when those gifts come in the form of thoughtfully curated gift hampers.

Fifteen Romantic Gestures and Gift Ideas

Since it’s not easy to come up with gift ideas for your guy, here are some that are perfect for the man in your life.

1. Read Your Boyfriend a Book

Do you remember the excitement you felt in school when one of your teachers read you a book? You can invoke those same beautiful feelings by reading to your boyfriend. You can choose a romantic novel or one that is about a topic he likes.

Take a half-hour or so before bed and snuggle under the covers and read to him. It will be an extraordinary moment he will never forget.

2. Sing to Him

If you have a good voice, then you may want to serenade him. What partner won’t feel weak at the knees at the sound of your angelic voice? Does he have a favorite song? Practice this tune and maybe add some piano or guitar accompaniments.

3. Pack His Lunch Complete with a Love Letter

Everyone is concerned about their budget and their waistline. Why not pack your boyfriend a lunch of some of his favorite things? He will appreciate the gesture, and when you add a handwritten letter inside, he won’t be able to stop smiling the rest of the day.

4. Have a Candlelight Dinner with All His Favorite Foods

Every guy has their favorite foods that instantly takes them to their comfort zone. By now, you should know a few of these entrees. Why not show him what a hopeless romantic you are with a candlelight dinner? When it comes to dessert, you can get a little bit creative.

5. Put a Love Note on His Windshield

Everyone hates getting flyers on their windshield. It’s annoying to stop and remove them before driving away. Putting a love note on his windshield is something that will make him stop and smile.

It’s unique because you took time out of your day to make sure your boyfriend knew how much you loved him. It just might be what he needs to make it through work.

6. Take Him on a Picnic

Is there anything more romantic than a picnic in the park with delicious food? Bring a beautiful big blanket and spread out under a tree. Why not bring along the book you’re reading him and go through a few chapters? It will be a special time of being close and relaxing with food and a good novel.

7. Have a Lunch Delivery at Work

Why not surprise the one you love with a special delivery at work? Chinese anyone? Won’t he be shocked when a paid order comes to him, courtesy of you? It’s the little things that you do in life to show someone how much they mean that counts.

8. Buy Him Something He’s Been Wanting

Is there something that your boyfriend has wanted for a long time? Maybe a new cell phone, watch, or another collectible? It doesn’t have to be a special occasion for you to buy him a gift.

Why not surprise him with something special for no other reason than “just because?” The unexpected gift that comes out of nowhere is the best and most memorable one.

You don’t need to spend a ton of money or break the bank for these surprise gifts. Remember, it’s supposed to show him how much you feel about him.

9. Write Him a Poem or Love Song

Do you have an artistic side or a musical ability? Nothing would be more special than a poem or song that’s written specifically about your love story. If you can encapsulate the romance and passion as well as putting the magic into words, it will be something that you will both treasure for the rest of your lives.

If you don’t tend to be artistic, then you can have someone write the song for you. It doesn’t matter who writes it as long as the story is yours.

Science explains why it is okay to be a hopeless romantic.

10. Put Together a Scrap Book or Memory Album

There’s probably been plenty of selfies and other pictures that you’ve taken throughout your relationship. Why not print those photos out and make a memory book about the story of your love?

Customized gifts like this are so unique and will give him a special token of your love. He can pull out this book and flip through it during dark times, and it will bring him much joy.

Additionally, if you’re not into scrapbooking, then you can do a digital book too. Many sites are geared at creating such a book about your love, and they are very affordable and easy to do.

11. Let Him Have Control of the TV and Remote

It sounds like a small gesture that doesn’t mean anything, but when you’re always fighting over the TV, it’s a nice break to surrender. Let him watch his favorite programming and enjoy some time without the intrusion of your program choices. Who said you had to spend a lot of money to give him a romantic and sweet gesture?

12. Give Him Extra Cuddle Time

Don’t think for one minute that guys don’t like to cuddle too, but there just never seems to be enough time. Make sure that you allow at least a half of an hour each day to cuddle. During this time, talk about your dream and plans and reassure each other of your love.

After a stressful day at work and dealing with kids, you both need this downtime. Lying together and hearing each other’s heartbeat is a way to connect on a spiritual level.

Sometimes, it’s best not to say a word but just allow your bodies to touch and be united. Just the feeling of closeness is sometimes all you need to keep going.

13. Write Him a List of All the Things You Love About Him

Your boyfriend needs reassurance just like you do about your relationship. Why not write a list of all the things you love about him? If he’s having a bad day, or you two are on the brink of breaking up, then this list may be the thing that keeps him going.

When you create a point of reference that puts feelings into written form, it gives him the strength and courage to fight another day.

14. Give Him a Bubble Bath

Okay, so a bubble bath seems like a girl thing to do. However, there are plenty of guys that love a nice bubble bath too. Light some candles, get his favorite champagne and let him soak the cares of life away.

If your guy is a hopeless romantic, then he will undoubtedly enjoy some mood music too. It can be very sensual to wash his hair and back for him and just be there enjoying the ambiance. Plus, soaking in hot water is an excellent way to relieve tired and aching muscles.

You could do a shower for two if you don’t have a tub, complete with a gentle massage. It’s okay to fuss over your guy a little bit as he will enjoy it.

15. Put a Scarf with Your Perfume in His Car

If you hardly get any time with your boyfriend because of work or distance, then you should try something that keeps you close. Do you have a perfume that you wear that he finds fantastic? Why not spray a scarf or other memento with that scent and stick it in his car?

He can have your aroma with him wherever he goes, and it might be something beautiful if distance separates you. If you don’t have any clothing you want to give up, you can write him a love letter and spray it with your cologne, and you should seal it with a lipstick kiss. He might like that even better.

Final Thoughts on Using These Tender and Sweet Ways to Show Love to Your Boyfriend

Life is chaotic and hectic, and you must remind yourself that you need to take time to stop and smell the roses. You must find the little opportunities that you have to do something special.

There should be some sort of tenderness between you and your partner every day. Don’t let the cares of life get him or you down. Do little things to build him up and show him how much he is loved.

15 Kind Words and Phrases That Spread Hope

August 28, 2020 by Power of Positivity

The world could certainly use some hope and kind words. With all the struggles that you face both personally and globally, it’s easy to become downtrodden.

You can let anxiety and depression sink in, and it can easily stifle you emotionally.

Thankfully, there is power in the spoken word. Did you know that some ancient writings say that the tongue holds the real power of life or death? Think about that for a minute. If you spew negativity and hateful things from your mouth, it can affect your health and entire character.

However, when you speak positive affirmations and spread goodness and joy, it helps your psyche cope with things, and it can improve your health. It’s strange how your words can have such an impact on your life, but research has proven this theory repeatedly.

People are generally divided into two categories: the pessimist and the optimist. Which category do you fall into? Do you see the glass as half empty, or is it half-full? Your perceptions and views will mold and make who you are.

Speaking Kind Words of Hope in Times of Great Uncertainty

If you want to reduce stress and speak life back into your tired and weary soul, then there are positive and kind words that you can say over yourself and others. If you want to spread hope and joy for all, then incorporate these phrases into your life and speech.

1. “If you’re patient, you’ll be compensated for every disappointment in life.” Henry David Thoreau

2. “When you have hope, you’re able to see the light even though there is darkness all around you.” Desmond Tutu

3. “The good in this world is worth fighting for.” J.R.R. Tolkien

4. “I get by when I stop dwelling on my misery; rather, I tend to focus on the beauty and love that remains.” Anne Frank

5. “Weeping may remain, but for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” English Proverb

6. “You can accomplish great things in this world if you keep trying even when there seems to be no hope.” Dale Carnegie

7. “Use your talents to carve a tunnel of hope through your darkest mountain.” Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

8. “Hope means to keep believing even when everything seems doomed, or it seems as if there is no purity left in the world at all. When you feel that everything is hopeless, you develop the strength to fight another day.” G.K. Chesterton

9. “It doesn’t matter how far your journey or where you go, as long as you don’t stop.” Confucius

10. “You will find your greatest victories come in life, not when you fall, but in every time that you rise.” Confucius

11. “Hope is as delicious and sweet as bread to a poor man.” Gary Herbert

12. “If you are without hope, then you cease to live.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

13. “Frequently, the failures you experience in life are merely because you didn’t realize how close you were to success, and you gave up too soon.” Thomas Edison

14. “Use your mistakes from yesterday to live for today and use your successes of today to have hope for tomorrow.” Albert Einstein

15. “There are many dark nights, but there are always brighter days.” Tupac

Speaking Kind Words to Redirect Your Life

Positive affirmations are meaningful. These powerful statements help you to change the way you think. Simple, kind words can be useful tools to reprogram your subconscious mind.

It can help you build new habits, get rid of bad ones, and motivate you to succeed. The human mind is powerful, and few taps into the superpowers that lie therein. You can think and imagine things even if they don’t exist right now, and by envisioning situations in a new reality, you mentally make provisions for them.

By focusing your thoughts on positive affirmations, you can start acting on the behaviors you speak to reinforce the goodness in life rather than the negativity.

You might compare your brain to a computer. When you’re working on a laptop, you plug the data into the system to get it to do what you want it to. By using specific commands and programs, you can do amazing things with the touch of a button.

Now, you are so accustomed to getting your computer to do what you want that you don’t even think twice about the processes involved. The same thing can happen to your brain. When you use positive and friendly words, you are programming your mind for greatness, and it’s going to react.

While you may think that it sounds like supernatural hogwash, it’s not magical. The mental laws are immensely powerful and yet quite simple.

Why Do Positive Affirmations Work?

Positive statements or kind words can be used to reduce stress, help you gain control over a seemingly impossible situation in life, or conquer negative habits. When you speak positivity over and over, it’s not long before it becomes your mindset.

Positivity allows your subconscious to grow more robust, and it will affect your entire life. When you fill your vessel with optimism, you will develop new ideas, see opportunities that you didn’t before, and make a stand to become a better you. Think of affirmations as words with power behind them.

These photos demonstrate kindness and will touch your heart.

Fifteen Positive Affirmations to Turn to Daily

Here are 15 positive affirmations and kind words that you should speak over yourself and others every day. Chart your progress and see how different your life has become when you look at life through optimism.

1. I am pleased and effective in everything I do.

2. I will put my emphasis on contentment and positivity.

3. Today, I vow to do something that will enhance my life.

4. I am thankful for my loving partner to share my joys with.

5. I love everyone around me.

6. My life is full of love and happiness.

7. Today, I will go out of my way to show love and kindness to others.

8. I’m loved and respected by all who know me.

9. I have the energy and motivation to get done my tasks.

10. I love my job, and am thankful for the money it brings.

11. Today, and every day, I feel I am improving my outlook and becoming more positive.

12. I am thankful for all that I have.

13. I’ll let my ambitions drive my future.

14. I am attractive, and anyone would be lucky to be with me.

15. I will seize the day and make magic happen.

Final Thoughts on Why We Must Share Kind Words and Spread Hope

A study was done in 2018 by the students at a university in Dubai. They used 30 plants, grouped in pairs by identical species. Fifteen plants were praised as the students spoke positively to it.

However, the other 15 plants were spoken to in a negative manner and cursed at. They said things like, “you’re ugly, you will never be as big and beautiful as the other plants, and you’re going to die.” Ikea sponsored the project at Wellington Academy, hoping to get to the bottom of the often bogus believed claim.

Researchers dubbed the study “Bully a Plant” to raise awareness of how harmful bullying can be to people, let alone plants. They documented the study on video for all the world to see. The results were uncanny.

The plants that received the negativity and all the harsh comments had droopy leaves and were dramatically different than the other foliage. While they had equally received the same water, food, and things essential for survival, the negativity had a dramatic impact.

While this study is about plants, it can be related to humans. Being always told how worthless you are and how you will never be as good as your brother or sister is very detrimental. If you grew up in a home where you were always seen as less than others, then you might have a negative outlook on life.

Thankfully, you have the power to change all of this. Your kind words and positive affirmations that you speak into your mind and soul can change you and those around you. Spread hope and joy around you to others by filling them with goodness and hope.

Be the person that everyone wants to be around and the one who has a smile on their face and a spring in their step. What changes can you make today to change your tomorrow? You only have one life to live, so it’s essential to make it the best one you can.

Psychology Reveals How to Shed the Burden of Remorse

August 27, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Remorse can eat away at you after a while if you don’t confront the issues causing it.

When you live with regret, it steals your joy and keeps you from living in the present moment. We all have unpleasant past experiences and memories to contend with, but that doesn’t mean we should allow them to ruin the future. Life sometimes leads us into the valleys to teach us valuable lessons, so we can carry them to the mountaintops and build our character.

No matter how many negative experiences you’ve had, you can probably list many ways that you’ve grown from them. Of course, everyone needs time to heal from trauma or unfortunate circumstances. However, we can either grow bitter or take those lessons and become better than the people who hurt us. You might have regrets about being the cause of someone else’s pain as well, but remember that your past actions don’t define you as a person.

The beautiful thing about life is that we can always choose to experience a better reality based on our thoughts and actions in the present moment. If you want to let go of the past and leave the regret behind you, psychologists reveal a few ways to do precisely that.

Psychology reveals how to shed the burden of remorse:

First off, let’s talk about the dangers of rumination and remorse; specifically, the mental and physical health risks that can come from repeated negative thinking patterns. Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Ph.D., the science director of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, says that negative emotions such as hostility or anxiety can become detrimental when a person considers those temporary emotions as a permanent part of their personality. Having a negative outlook or disposition can worsen your health, believe it or not.

Indeed, a 2014 study published by the journal Neurology found that highly cynical people had a higher risk of developing dementia than more open, trusting people. Even when accounting for other risk factors like age, sex, lifestyle habits such as smoking, and heart health, researchers still found this to be true. Living with regret and pessimism may also harm your heart.

A 2009 study published b the journal Circulation analyzed data from nearly 100,000 women. It found that heart disease occurred more often in cynical, negative people than in more optimistic individuals. The more pessimistic women additionally had a higher risk of death during the study period than those who looked at the world with rose-colored glasses. However, just because you live with a heavy burden of remorse or negativity now doesn’t mean you can’t change it. We always hold power to adjust our attitude or way of looking at things.

As you can see, carrying around a lot of baggage can have a dangerous influence on your health. If you want to lead a more carefree, healthy life, psychologists have a few tips for you.

How to let go of remorse

A big part of moving on from the past and letting go of regret involves forgiveness. Below, we want to outline some of the critical steps outlined by Dr. Robert Enright, Ph.D., a leading researcher in the scientific study of forgiveness. Once you have forgiven yourself or others for wrongdoing, you can start the healing process and finally put down all the weight you’ve been carrying around.

Uncovering Phase

During this phase, you will become aware of the regret or pain you’ve been holding onto from past trauma or emotional wounds. You may feel anger or hatred toward yourself or others because of the pain inflicted on you during these traumatic events. This process will involve a lot of inner work, and you may experience many different intense emotions. However, once you acknowledge what you have remorse about, you can start to heal from it.

Decision Phase

Now you probably realize that focusing any more of your energy on the past won’t allow you to move on from the pain and trauma. So, it would be best if you forgave yourself and others to heal the wounds and let go of the regret. This does not mean you have to forgive anyone involved in wrongdoing just yet fully, but at least entertain the possibility of forgiveness or letting go of remorse. You will want to give up any thoughts or feelings of retaliation toward anyone who caused you suffering because this will hinder the healing process.

Work Phase

Now comes the actual inner work, which will help you transform your perspective and understanding of painful events. Many people have to go through this uncomfortable phase when dealing with childhood trauma to heal their scars. If you have had a lot of negative experiences in life, you might feel regret or remorse about the past because you think you missed out on good memories. Forgiveness can play a massive role in moving on from this trauma because you can put yourself in the shoes of those who inflicted pain on you.

Perhaps your parents tried their best but had their wounds they had to work through as well. When you go through the work phase, it allows you to open your eyes to the possibility that everyone deals with scars of their own, and that they may not have meant you any harm.

Opening your mind and heart to them and seeing things from their perspective marks a huge turning point in the process of letting go of remorse. This doesn’t mean you excuse their behavior, but rather, you can understand where it came from and why they hurt you.

This phase may also include reaching out to them in hopes of reconciling, although you don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable. However, many people find that talking about past trauma with the injurers helps greatly in being able to leave the experiences behind them once and for all. You can also get a better idea of what was happening in their life at the time or how they were feeling, which may expand your compassion for them.

Outcome/Deepening Phase

In this phase, you probably feel a great sense of relief that you left all that baggage behind. Once you’ve processed the experiences and emotions involved, you feel lighter and better able to enjoy the present and future. Perhaps you can look back at the trauma you went through and turn the pain into lessons you learned. Sometimes, we face painful and hurtful events in life to become stronger and grow from the situations at hand. By letting go of remorse and forgiving yourself and others, you may also feel a broader love and care for humanity.

After healing from severe trauma, some people even find a new purpose in life. For example, women who left abusive relationships may feel a strong urge to work as a counselor or support worker for women who suffer from domestic violence. If you can look back on those unpleasant memories and see them as a blessing because they helped you gain a new perspective, you can start to heal from whatever you go through in life.

Other steps involved in shedding remorse:

Employ positive thinking. While everyone needs to allow negative feelings to come to the surface when processing trauma, there comes a time when you have to make a decision. Either you allow those experiences to ruin your life and give you a negative outlook, or you can choose to take whatever you learned and spin it into something positive. A lot of the suffering we go through actually happens in our heads, not in reality. If you think about things in this way, it becomes much easier to shift your perspective and choose something different.
Think about the possibilities. If you don’t like what’s happened to you, don’t worry. Your story doesn’t end here, and you have so much ahead of you in life. No matter what you’ve been through, you can create a beautiful ending based on the actions you choose today. Think about all the possibilities for your life as long as you follow your heart and try to remain positive.
Remember that you’re human. You have regrets about something, and so does everyone else. Life can’t always happen the way we want it to, but don’t dwell on your mistakes. Learn from them, instead, and do better the next time around.

Final thoughts on shedding remorse so you can live a joyful life

Everyone deals with regret about something, but it doesn’t have to control your life. No matter what you’ve been holding onto, choose to let it go today. You’ll feel so much lighter and in better control of your emotions and thoughts if you leave the past behind you. Why dwell on negative experiences and ruin the beauty of this moment?

You can create any future you desire as long as you shed the burdens of the past and tap into the unlimited potential of the present.

10 Signs Your Relationship Is Being Forced to Last

August 27, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Relationships are always hard work. Sometimes, no matter how incredibly hard you try to keep your relationship going, it fails. One of you may decide to resurrect the relationship, but if your partner isn’t willing to do the same, it’s a waste of time. You’re just forcing it. So, precisely how do you know when (or if) your relationship is failing? What are the signs your relationship is being forced to last?

Here are ten red flags that your relationship is being forced to last

Not “we” anymore

When one or both partners begin saying, “I” rather than “we” it’s a sign the relationship is in trouble. A relationship involves two people living life together. Their lives are intertwined, making them a couple. They hang out together, shop together, and do things with friends as a couple. This closeness doesn’t mean they never do things independently, but generally, couples like to do something together.

Dropping “we” from your vocabulary is the first sign of a troubled relationship. It’s easy to miss this sign as nothing more than wanting more independence. Why should you make a big deal out of it? But take note, it’s a sure sign of something broken. Be honest with yourself, don’t naively force your relationship if you notice this subtle sign.

Avoidance

Couples that never have time for one another aren’t living as a couple. Staying busy seems like an innocent thing, but it’s a way to avoid talking or interacting with your partner. It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to prevent severe talks about your relationship. Couples fall into this trap all the time, especially if they don’t want to face the truth that their relationship is failing.

You may tell yourself that things will work out. You just need some space. That may be true, but if there’s constant avoidance, this is a bad sign. Here are some subtle avoidance techniques that happen in failing relationships.

You choose to stay home instead of heading out with your partner (every time they ask)
You make plans without mentioning it to your partner.
You’ll get up early and leave for work before your partner is up.
You get home late at night after your partner has gone to bed.
You keep a busy schedule, so there’s no time to interact with your partner.

If avoidance is a regular part of your relationship, It’s time to stop pretending and sit down for a talk with your partner. Your relationship isn’t healthy, it’s being forced by either one of you or both of you.

Argue about everything

When everything you and your partner talk about turns into an argument, that’s a sign your relationship is floundering. Perhaps you never used to argue about things like money, sex, or family, but suddenly those topics are hot issues between you. When couples can’t talk about their problems, it erodes their relationship. In healthy relationships, partners respect one another enough to allow for a difference of opinion.

Healthy couples can find common ground on issues. But when a relationship fails, neither side wants to compromise. There is a desire to stand your ground because you feel the need to protect yourself. Don’t try to force any relationship that has gotten to this point. Sit down with your partner or spouse–have an honest discussion, hopefully without an argument, about the state of your relationship instead of staying around in what seems doomed to failure.

Lack of intimacy

The loss of affection and intimacy in your relationship is never a good sign. Romantic relationships build from affection and intimacy. When the sparkle is gone, and there’s little to no affections between you two, it should be a concern. All couples can get into a rut. Kids, work and the busyness of life can cut into times of intimacy, but long periods without sex isn’t healthy.

Other examples of affection, such as hugging and snuggling, are also important in a relationship. If your relationship lacks these signs of romantic love, it could mean that one or both of you are forcing your relationship. Perhaps it’s time to have a long talk with your partner about what’s going on. Encourage your partner to be honest. Tell them you promise not to react to what they say, no matter how difficult it is to hear. Ask them good questions such as

How do you think our relationship is going?
How do you feel about our relationship?
Are you still sexually attracted to me?
Do you feel uninterested in intimacy in our relationship?

Irritations grow

Little things about your partner that never used to bother you suddenly feel very irritating. In the past, you overlooked their habits or quirks, thinking they were rather cute, but not anymore. Back then, you didn’t mind it when your partner didn’t like the dog on the furniture, but now you feel like they’re being picky.

You feel tired of adjusting your lifestyle to fit their preferences. When irritations grow with no resolution or discussion to work them out, a relationship is sure to fail. Forcing a relationship to work out won’t help change these feelings.

Silent treatment

The silent treatment isn’t quiet. It speaks volumes. Refusing to talk is a form of rejection. You’re pretending the other person doesn’t exist. It’s a loud and clear sign of a dying relationship. Forcing a relationship that is this far gone is hopeless.

If you can’t talk to your partner, there’s no way to resolve issues. It’s easy to pretend like things aren’t that bad, to live in the comfort zone day today. But you must take the scary first step and encourage your partner to talk to you. Tell them you want to talk about the condition of your relationship. If they aren’t willing, it’s time for you to pack up and go. By their refusal to talk to you, they have essence given you their answer about where they stand in the relationship.

Lack of communication

When a couple acts like two people existing under the same roof with little communication, the relationship is doomed. You are acting like roommates, but not very good roommates. At least roommates communicate. Communication is one of the most necessary ingredients in a romantic relationship.

Without it, couples can’t work on improving and growing as a couple. A lack of communication means there isn’t a desire for one or both partners to invest in the relationship. You can try to communicate more with your partner, but you’ll figure out soon enough if they truly want to continue the relationship or if it’s time to end it.

You forget about your partner.

Making decisions without your partner could mean you’ve lost interest in being with your partner. Couples do things together because they enjoy one another’s company. If you decide to head off to your parent’s house for a long weekend and you don’t bother to include your partner, you should take notice. Something isn’t right. Step back and assess how you feel about your relationship.

Don’t pretend the relationship is okay if you’re leaving your partner out of your weekend plans. It’s easy to live in the comfort zone of a familiar relationship, but you need to step back and stop forcing things. Have an honest and heartfelt chat with your partner about how you feel.

9.. Lack of dedication and commitment

Studies found that commitment in a romantic relationship means you both have a desire to have a future together. There is a sense of dedication, and both partners exert the energy needed to stay together. If one or both the partners begin to feel they don’t care about doing the hard work, it’s a sign the relationship is breaking down. It’s easy to feel guilty about a failing relationship. It’s hard to be the person who says it’s over. You may like the person, but just don’t see any future with them. It’s best, to be honest, and reveal the truth. It’s the kindest thing to do.

Lost loyalty

Way back when your partner was the only one you wanted to spend Friday night with. But lately, you feel like you’d rather hang with your friends. They’re more fun, anyway. If you feel more loyal to your friends than your partner, something is broken in your relationship. When you’re committed to one another, even though you don’t need to spend every minute together, your first choice is to be together.

You are good friends and enjoy one another’s company. But if you start to feel yourself feeling less than interested in spending time with your partner, it could mean you’re not being honest about how you feel. Maybe you do not want to hurt the other person, but your actions speak louder than words. It’s time to quit forcing a relationship where you don’t feel loyal to your partner.

Final thoughts on knowing when your relationship is being forced to last

When a romantic relationship runs into trouble, there are obvious signs. It’s easy for the couple not to notice these signs or refuse to believe the truth of the failing relationship. It’s easy to pretend that everything will get better over time. Relationships don’t get better without both partners working to make this happen. When you see the signs, it’s best to get out of your comfort zone and talk honestly with your partner about your relationship.

Counselor Reveals 10 Tips to Help You Raise Well-adjusted Kids

August 27, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Well-adjusted kids are able to control their emotions and deal with their problems without getting overly anxious. As a parent, you hope to raise kids who become well-adjusted adults. But why does this matter so much?

Children today live in a world that can be fast-paced and overwhelming. The rapid-fire pace of life can overwhelm. As a parent, you must equip your little one to not only survive–but to thrive.

10 Tips for Raising Well-adjusted Kids

Here are 10 counselors’ helpful tips to raise happy, well-adjusted children.

1 – Be a predictable parent

Predictable parenting gives a child a sense of stability. Studies found that unpredictable actions and attitudes from parents are unsettling for kids. Kids who are raised with parents who relate to their children in a peaceful, calm way promote a child’s ability to control their own emotions and actions. Create a low-stress routine for your children with predictable mealtimes, playtimes, and sleeping times. This allows your kids to understand what their day will be like and make them feel a sense of being in control. Of course, life has its unpredictable moments. That’s okay, as long as the majority of your days, weeks, and months follow a predictable routine.

2 – Be a good example to your kids

The old saying, “do as I say and not as I do” isn’t a good parenting philosophy. Your kids watch you all the time. They watch how you treat other people, handle your stress, and how you deal with your feelings. And your kids imitate your words and actions. Have you ever heard your child talk to a sibling or a friend in a bossy parental way? You cringed when you realized they sound just like you do when you correct them. Living as a good example for your kids is essential for raising well-adjusted kids. You can’t tell them one thing but do another thing. They’ll see your hypocrisy right away.

Examples of hypocrisy in parenting:

If you tell your kids to be kind, but you gossip about people to your kids.
You yell at your kids, but you tell them not to yell at their siblings.
You tell your kids to be patient, but then you get angry at the restaurant when your food doesn’t arrive quickly enough.
You tell your kids to serve others, but you always tell your neighbors you’re too busy to help them even when you’re not.

Your kids will catch on to your lack of integrity. They will feel it’s unfair when you correct them, but then you don’t live by the same rules.

3 – Teach your kids to respect your household rules

Every household has rules. Your kids need to understand the rules of your home and to respect them by obeying them. Kids need to know their boundaries. If you’re aren’t firm on the rules, they’ll feel like they can do whatever they want. Or if you’re too strict, they’ll feel like all you care about are the rules.

Explain your rules

Explain to your child why the rule exists. “In our house, everyone does chores because we all contribute.”

Praise when they obey

When your child attempts to do a chore, be sure to give them praise even if it’s not perfectly done. “I love the way you worked so hard to put away the dishes. Great job.”

You obey the rules

If the house rules are to clean up after yourself, be sure you do it. Don’t expect your kids to do things you don’t do.

Good conscience

If your child feels bad about not doing something that’s a sign they have a working conscience. That’s a good thing. Emphasize that although they did make a mistake, everybody makes mistakes.

4 – Discipline your children appropriately

Discipline helps your child learn to better fit into the world. Positive and effective discipline teaches kids to obey without force. When you discipline your child, you’re telling them what unacceptable behavior looks like in a loving, firm way.

Studies on raising happy children found that discipline is one of the most important roles for parents. It requires lots of time and energy. There are no shortcuts when it comes to being a parent. What parent hasn’t had to stop what they were doing to discipline your child? It’s frustrating, exhausting, and overwhelming. But parenting reaps wonderful rewards.

When you discipline your child, be firm, but kind. If you tell your child they need a time out, stand by your decision, don’t waffle when they cry or plead. Effective discipline helps your kids learn self-control and self-discipline as they grow. Be sure you maintain a good bond with your kids, they should feel your respect. Never call them names or belittle them. No shouting, yelling or lashing out at them. This will erode their trust in you.

5 – Teach your kids to be selfless when dealing with other people

Kids aren’t born thinking about others. Everyone has heard a little kid yell, “Mine!” instead of sharing their toys. Unselfishness and being others’ oriented needs to be taught. Encourage your kids to help others, to share, and to have empathy for others. Plan opportunities for your family to help in your community homeless shelter or soup kitchen or participate in a community clean up.

6 – Teach your kids problem-solving skills

Your kids need to learn how to solve their problems. Your three-year-old son may need to learn to have self-control by not screaming when his big brother wants to play with his toy, but your thirteen-year-old daughter may need to learn how to compromise during an argument with her best friend. Here are three strategies to help your kids learn how to solve their own problems.

Give your child choices

Let your younger kids choose clothing, food, or what activities they want to do. Give them a choice of ‘this or that’ rather than open-ended choices.

As they learn how to make small decisions, then you can begin to give them choices in problem-solving situations. When your younger daughter is screaming at her little brother, ask her, “What would be a better way to solve this instead of screaming at your brother grabbed your toy?”

Teach them to not give up

Encourage them to work hard to solve their problems whether it’s how to clean up their toys or put away their clean clothes.

Let them think

When your child asks you a question about how to do something, don’t just tell them, ask them what they would do. This forces them to think about how to solve problems.

7 – Teach your children to be kindhearted

Praise your kids when they show kindness to people or animals. Encourage their efforts even if they aren’t received well or aren’t well thought out. Give them pointers on what kindness looks like. Be a good model for your kids of being kind to those around you.

8 – Teach your kids gratitude

Teach your child to say thank you and show gratitude to adults or other kids. Encourage them to look for the good even in difficult situations in their life. Congratulate your child when they express gratitude. Make it a regular conversation to point out what you’re grateful. Ask them what they’re thankful for.

9 – Teach your kids good health habits

Teach your kids the value of being healthy. Eating good foods, exercise, and taking care of your body are important things for a parent to teach their kids. Set an example at home by serving healthy meals and doing family outside activities like hiking, going to the beach or to the park. Stay active with your kids in the backyard playing soccer or basketball.

10 – Teach your kids how to express their emotions

As a parent, you understand we need to feed, clothe, and educate your children. That’s the easy stuff. The more difficult thing you’ll face is training your kids to express themselves. Kids are a bundle of emotions. They express themselves through crying, angry outbursts, or fear.

It’s difficult to untangle what’s really going on when your three- year son suddenly refuses to go to bed at night because of the dark. But as hard as it is, it’s critically important that you stay engaged with your kids in spite of their messy emotions.

Being a lax parent can cause emotional and mental harm to your child. Don’t try to address every emotional outburst, pick one, and work with your child on it. Teach them better ways to communicate. Give them some simple instructions on how to express their emotions such as, “I’m sad about….” or “I don’t like it when..” or “I get afraid when…”

Final Thoughts on Raising Well-adjusted Kids in a Fast-Paced World

Parenting well-adjusted kids take thoughtful engagement on your part. Staying consistent in your words and actions is extremely important for raising happy kids. When you live out what you ask their kids to do, they’ll follow your example. So hang in their parents. Stay strong and keep working to help your kids become happy, well-adjusted adults.

How to Tell If Your Marriage Is Worth Saving (Or If It’s Time to Let Go)

August 27, 2020 by Power of Positivity

There’s nothing better than spending eternal bliss with someone you love. Sadly, many marriages end in divorce. Some people hold on much longer than they should and only make themselves and others miserable.

Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?

How do you know if your marriage is worth keeping, and has the newlywed bliss worn off and has turned into a bitter battle for survival? Here are some tips to help you decide if your marriage is worth saving.

1. You Still Feel Butterflies When You See Them

Life and marriage are hard. When you bring two people together, the wedded bliss will quickly fade as the cares of life take over. However, you know there is still a fire burning if you feel those butterflies.

When they call you or walk into the room, do you still feel like a teenager melting in their arms? While it takes more than feelings to sustain a relationship, you must have a connection that can withstand life’s trials. If there are still any feelings at all left, then you can rekindle the fire that once burned strong.

2. They’re the One That You Want To Be With

When the world comes crashing down around you, your spouse is still the one you want to be with for the remainder of your natural life. When danger is all around you, you look to them for comfort. If you always find yourself picking up the phone to tell them about your day before you get home, call them on lunch, and text throughout the day, there is still an incredible connection that many people don’t have.

3. You Never Miss an Anniversary or Birthday Celebration

It’s always the little things that make a relationship unique. If you still celebrate all your anniversaries, birthdays, and plan unique gifts and getaways for each other, then it shows there are love and care still there.

Many guys and girls could care less about celebrating those little things like the anniversary of your first kiss. If you find someone who can remember all the small details that are so important, they are worth holding on to.

4. You Miss Each Other

If you were to go away for a weekend with your friends, would you always be thinking about what the other person was doing? Do you find yourself lonely and missing them even though others surround you?

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you can’t stand to be apart, then it might be worth saving this marriage.

5. You Don’t Argue or Fight

It’s healthy to disagree and get your opinion across, but if you go to great lengths to protect the other person, then it’s a sign that there’s something beautiful there. It takes a lot of patience and excellent communication to sustain a relationship. Being protective of their feelings, even in the heated moments, shows your love and devotion for them.

6. You’re Great Role Models

The best couples are the ones that can have disagreements about money or other issues, but they never take them out into the open. You make sure that you are always upfront and honest with each other, but you do it behind closed doors. When it comes to your family and children, you never air dirty laundry in front of others.

There’s nothing worse than a couple that fights and argues in front of others, especially your kids. It makes them feel uncomfortable, and they might feel as if they need to choose sides. If you are still great role models though there are issues, you may have something worth working on.

7. You Can’t Stand the Thought of Being Apart

Does it scare you at the thought of your relationship ending? Do you feel like you cannot live one day without them? Wanting to be close to the one you love is essential to make things work.

How does the other person feel about you? Is there devotion to you on the same level as your devotion to them? If the thought of them not being there when you wake up in the morning scares you, then your marriage may be worth saving.

8. The Good Outweighs the Bad

Into everyone’s life, a little rain must fall, but does the sunshine outweigh the storms? Can you look at your marriage and say that the good times have always been way better than the bad?

Sometimes relationships go through so many struggles that it becomes tough to stay together. However, if you can look at all the trials with a smile remembering something good that came out of it, then it’s a sign that you have something worthwhile.

9. You Both 100 Percent Committed

Are you both committed to each other no matter what the troubles you’re facing? Do you know that they’ve got your back, and are your biggest cheerleader? If one of you is in the relationship 100 percent and the other only 50 percent, then it’s hard to make things work.

While things may seem a bit turbulent right now, when you’re both committed to making it better, it makes a big difference.

10. You’re Still Number One

If you called your spouse right now and needed them to drop everything to get to you, would they come? It would help if you were committed for things to work, but you also need to know that they will put their life on hold to help you.

When the chips are down, they are right there when you need them. A love like that surely doesn’t come around very often, and you should invest time and effort into saving your union.

Know the ten signs that it is time to seek the aid of a marriage counselor.

Is it Time to Let Go of the Marriage?

You’ve read all the beautiful reasons why you should keep your marriage healthy, but how do you know when it’s time to move on? Don’t waste the best years of your life loving someone who could never love you the same way.

You deserve to have someone who will love you and be there for your 100 percent. Here are some signs it’s time to let them go.

1. You Argue 24/7

No one likes to live in a war zone. If you’re fighting and yelling every day, then you might want to rethink your union. It’s not healthy to live in a constant state of unrest, and you deserve to have a home filled with peace and love.

2. They’ve Cheated on You

Some people can forgive cheating and move on to have a great life. However, others cannot move past such a massive event. If they’ve cheated once or ten times, can you live with the betrayal?

3. Your Spouse is Not There for You

Do you need to schedule an appointment just to talk to them about the children or the finances? Is there work taking over their life and they have little time for the family? While this person may be trying to make a living and provide for you, it’s hard to have a relationship when the other party is married to their job or socially isolates you from their life.

4. You Can’t Trust Your Spouse Anymore

Do you have a hard time trusting him or her and doubt every word out of their mouth? When you’ve lied to time, and again, it makes it hard to believe. Lying is a horrible habit that can wreck relationships. Your wedded bliss can end abruptly if they lie and are dishonest about things.

5. You Dread Being Around Them

The spark that you once had it gone. There’s no longing for them to come home from work, and there are no more sweet nothings being whispered in your ear when you wake up. The fire that once burned so strong is now nothing more than smoldering coals.

Part of having a relationship is being together. If you find yourself dreading those times of intimacy or even being in the same room, then maybe it’s time to let them go.

Final Thoughts: Should You Stay in the Marriage or End Things?

It’s hard to make decisions about love and relationships. Sometimes people become quite comfortable with a routine and don’t want to change things. Though making changes are never easy, it’s not good to live in a toxic relationship either.

Newlywed bliss only lasts for a short time, and then you must face the real world and everyday life. There are odd work schedules, financial burdens, and cares that come about every day. Life certainly brings with it troubles that can have a dramatic impact on any relationship, but you must cleave to each other no matter what is going on around you.

Maybe you feel like the marriage has sustained so many blows that you can’t possibly go on another day? It would help if you tried counseling and time apart to work on your issues and then issues as a couple. This person shouldn’t make you miserable. Life and circumstances can get you down, but your spouse should be the one thing that you can always count on.

6 Behaviors A Man Displays That Prove He Will Make A Good Husband

August 27, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Things are going well in your relationship; every time you’re with your partner, you get that spark of adoration for him. Perhaps you’ve even sensed that he’s close to popping that big question that every woman longs to hear. You’re probably wondering if it’s all hormones or if this man will make a good husband.

There are certain behaviors that a man will display if he is husband material. He has most likely been displaying these traits during your entire relationship. You just need to reflect and recognize them.

NOTE: If you want to learn the key behaviors that reveal a good wife, please check out our separate article on the subject.

Here are six behaviors that a man will display if he will make a good husband.

1. He is a good leader.

Any man that is husband material will have the natural ability to be a good leader. He will be someone that you can trust to help you (as a team) make the right decisions for your family. If you need to, you could sit back and let him steer the ship and be confident that he will miss all the icebergs.

Don’t take this as saying that he should automatically be in charge. Any marriage is a partnership. However, a man, a real man, will just naturally ooze leadership material.

More importantly, a man wants to be a leader. It’s an instinctual trait that men have had from the beginning of time.

How can you tell that a man is a good leader, therefore making him a good husband? Here are a few leadership traits you can be on the lookout for.

He remains confident and composed in a crisis.

A true leader doesn’t break down in the face of adversity. He can see the solution clearly and navigate to it without losing focus. He is a strong anchor in a storm.
He is level-headed and compassionate.

A man who is a good leader rarely loses his cool. He can diffuse situations, calm down all parties involved, and, more importantly, understand everyone’s point of view. This trait is an invaluable skill when dealing with kids.
He can let go of the past and look forward to the future.

No one is perfect, and a good leader knows that. You may have had some bumps in your path in the past, but a good leader can let that go and look forward to building a beautiful life with you in the future. A man who is a good leader and is husband material won’t dwell on the past.

These are only a few leadership traits that can indicate that a man will make a good husband. However, if your partner displays these traits, chances are he’ll have other characteristics as well. You can count on him to lead your marriage to succeed.

2. He works hard but still finds time for you.

You may love each other, but love doesn’t pay the bills!

A man who is husband material will have no qualms about working hard to provide for his family. There won’t be any type of debate or discussion needed. He’ll do what it takes to deliver. He works hard even without you prodding and nudging him to do it.

Even if he doesn’t have the highest paying job, he’ll still make it work. As his wife, he will try to spoil you and provide for your needs. Don’t worry, ladies. He won’t try to take away your “independent woman” vibe if that’s what you have going on.

A good man knows that when both of you work hard, that means you build even faster together. He’ll never make you question his work ethic, and you’ll know that you can depend on him when you need him the most.

At the same time, he will know how to balance work with the rest of his life. He will never make you feel second to his career. It’s a tough balancing act, but a man who is good husband material will handle it like a champ.

3. He is at peace with his spirituality.

When speaking of spirituality, keep in mind that this is different from religion. Spirituality is defined by psychologists and spiritual leaders as seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself and discovering feelings such as peace, balance, gratitude, acceptance, and more as a result. To be a good man, fit for a husband, he must have inner peace.

No one can lead a household when they are experiencing inner turmoil. No matter what a man’s beliefs are or what religion he associates with, his inner spirit must be calm, strong, and resilient. This strength is because his inner spirit will reflect outward on his marriage.

Spirituality can give a husband purpose and direction for his family. It can almost be like a road map on which path to take. A man’s wife and kids will be an extension of his journey, so he must be sure of where he is going.

A man who would make a good husband is already aware of this need to be in tune with his spirituality. He knows the path ahead of him, and he is ready to lead his family in the right direction.

4. A good husband is great with finances.

As stated before, a household isn’t going to run off of love. It takes money and a lot of it. Even more importantly, it takes good credit.

A man who is ready to be a husband knows that financial planning is everything. He must be the provider. He must procure and maintain a household, take care of his wife and kids, and make sure they are prepared for the future.

A good man not only has a plan in place, but he’s probably been working on that plan well before marriage even came into discussion. You’ll know that a man is going to make a good husband if his bank account looks nice, his credit is in order, and he isn’t swamped with debt.

This detail doesn’t mean that only good men have their finances in order. There are good men out there that are currently working on getting their finances in order. That counts also.

You can see that they understand how essential finances will be in a marriage, so they’re taking steps they need to take to improve the situation. That’s a sign of a man who is ready to be an excellent husband.

5. He has excellent character.

A good man will have good character and good morals. It’s imperative to have these two things when you’re planning to lead a family. A good man knows that everything he does and believes in is a reflection of his wife and children, so he will always put his best foot forward.

He will be kind, compassionate, and have a desire to do the right thing in most cases. He will lead by example and be someone that others look up to. This trait is especially important since his children will absorb everything that he does.

Having good character shouldn’t come after marriage. You should be able to see this in him all through the dating and relationship process. A person’s good personality will shine through like the brightest star in the sky.

This concept doesn’t mean he has to kiss babies and pet puppies. It just means that he should be honest and able to get along with others. This will make you comfortable as his wife, knowing that your well-being and livelihood are secure.

6. A good husband is very respectful of women.

This is one of the most important behaviors you should pay attention to. How does your man treat women? Not just you, but all women.

Start with his mother. Does he cherish her and respect her? Does he listen to her? Do they have a close relationship?

Of course, you don’t want a “mama’s boy.” There is a fine line between that and respect. However, if a man doesn’t treat his mother with respect, you can be sure he won’t treat you with respect.

Pay attention to how he treats women in public. Waitresses, cashiers, or even random women around you. Does he hold doors open? Does he speak to them intelligently?

A man who will make a good husband can make women feel special, even if they aren’t his “special” ones. Simple acts like helping a woman with heavy bags indicate that he is great husband material.

You’ll also want to make sure he doesn’t objectify women. He is being respectful but not staring at their assets or flirting. If he can do this, you’ve got a good one.

Final Thoughts on Behaviors of a Man Who Will Make a Good Husband

There is no one size fits all formula to determine if a man is great husband material. However, some traits just make sense. The six behaviors above are a place to start when determining a man’s husband-worthiness. He’ll display these traits and plenty more if he is a good man. Go with your female intuition. It’s usually pretty accurate.

15 Quotes That Will Put Your Work Stress in Perspective

August 26, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Despite your chosen career, work stress affects everyone. Even when you love your job, you’ll often find yourself stressed and overwhelmed. Ultimately, it’s how you manage your stress that makes all the difference.

Managing your work stress is essential since the stress is inevitable. You cannot allow it to overtake your life, affect your performance, or negatively impact your wellbeing.

When you are in a stressful moment at work, it may be hard to put it in perspective. Luckily, since everyone goes through this, many quotes from those who have been through it will help. These quotes will put the work stress in perspective for you and will help you get through the hard times.

Fifteen Wise Quotes That Will Help to Put Your Work Stress in Perspective

1. “Trying to be a perfectionist brings increased stress and hinders performance.” – T. Whitmore

Perfectionism is unattainable, so striving to reach perfection will only harm yourself. You’ll be more stressed out, and your performance will suffer because of it. Instead of trying to be perfect, just do your best and be proud of what you have achieved.

2. “Gratitude can reduce your stress and anxiety.” – Bree Miller

When you feel the work stress becoming too overwhelming, change your thought process. Instead of thinking about what’s stressing you out, think about what you are grateful for. Thinking this way can help put your stress in perspective and help you get through it.

3. “Believing that you must do something to perfection is a recipe for stress, and you’ll associate that stress with the task and thus condition yourself to avoid it.” – Steve Pavlina

As explained in a previous quote, striving for perfection is harmful to your progress. When you do this, you’re applying negative thoughts to the task you’re working on. This mindset only makes work-related stress worse because you’ll begin to get stressed merely thinking about the job.

It will also cause you to avoid doing the task, causing more stress when the work piles up. Think positive thoughts while you are doing something that stresses you out. It can help relieve some of the immediate stress, and it’ll help reduce future stress related to that task.

4. “One of the best ways to reduce stress is to accept the things that you cannot control.” – M. P. Neary

You can’t control everything, so you may be stuck in some situations that you don’t enjoy. Learn to accept these situations, because if you can’t change it, you might as well not stress about it. When you learn to accept things you can’t control, you’ll notice your stress levels decrease, too.

5. “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius

External forces cannot cause you pain. Your reaction to stressors is what creates the pain. It is essential to stop over-estimating the severity of a situation so that you can react appropriately.

So, the next time something at work is stressing you out, stop giving it that ability. Take a deep breath and always keep in mind that this external force should not be causing you pain.

6. “Stress, anxiety, and depression are caused when we are living to please others.” – Paulo Coelho

If you are living to please your boss or your superior, you will often be stressed out at work. Instead, live to please yourself while still meeting your work requirements. When you do your best, you’ll be more satisfied and less stressed out.

7. “Mindfulness creates centered awareness. When you do one thing at a time, you’re guaranteed excellent results. If you do too many things simultaneously, it messes up your neural circuits. Focus on one thing at a time.” – Deepak Chopra

Frequently, stress at works comes from having too much to do at once. Instead, try batching your workload and completing one thing at a time. This way, as Chopra explains, you are sure to do your best work.

When you try doing too much at once, you won’t be giving your all to any of the tasks. It’ll hinder your performance, stress you out, and cause you to feel overwhelmed.

8. “Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

Similar to the last quote, this one explains how doing too many things at once can cause problems. When you start tasks and move on to another one before you finish with the first, you’ll get stressed out.

It’ll cause you to feel like you have so much more work to do than you truly have. Try to finish one task before moving ahead to the next, and your work life will become much less stressful.

9. “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

When life is a breeze, and there are no unexpected events, you don’t develop your character. On the other hand, when you are faced with issues, your style can be developed for the better.

When you are stressed at work, remember these words from Keller. Each obstacle is a learning opportunity and allows you to grow and learn.

10. “When money becomes your purpose, stress, and depression become your path.” – Prabakaran Thirumalai

If your work stress seems to be overtaking your life, you need to find a new purpose. This statement doesn’t mean you should quit your job. Instead, it means that you need to make your purpose in life something that you enjoy.

Then, work won’t be so overwhelming and stressful for you. Making money your purpose in life only makes work more intolerable.

11. “Don’t react when you are upset because at that time, your reaction will be based on your negative emotions, but intuitive and positive thoughts flow when you are calm.” – Unknown

You can think more clearly and effectively when you are calm. So, when your stress is overtaking your thoughts, take a break, and refocus. Calm yourself down before returning to work so that you can think more productively and positively.

When you do this, you’ll be able to figure out the solution to your problem. Trying to figure it out when you are stressed may only make it worse. Your wellbeing will benefit from this break, and your work will be better, too.

12. “Stress can actually help you focus better and can be positive. Having small amounts of stress can stimulate you to think. Being able to manage your stress is key.” – Frank Long

A small amount of stress can keep you motivated and moving, which can be a good thing. It’s when the stress begins to overtake your thoughts and negatively impact your work that it becomes a problem.

So, the key to beneficial stress is to find a way to manage your stress, as Long has explained. When you can do this, this stress you experience at work can be used as a productivity tool.

13. “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” – Stephen Covey

You should only put on your schedule the things that are priorities. Then, you aren’t re-working your plan all the time to get the priorities done. When everything on your desk is a priority, it’s easy to know where to get started.

14. “Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.” – Andrew Bernstein

The situations in your life aren’t the problem. Your thoughts and your reaction to those situations are the problems. When you begin to think about your hurdles positively, you won’t have so much work-related stress.

15. “Some stress is necessary in our lives when we want to stimulate creativity, or to promote learning.” – Christian J. Borg

Without stress, you wouldn’t be driven to try something new. This means you wouldn’t ever have to be creative, and you wouldn’t ever learn anything. To grow, learn, and develop in life, you have to face stressful times so that you can explore new things.

Final Thoughts on Quotes That Will Put Your Work Stress in Perspective

Work stress is to be expected, no matter which career path you have chosen. Even those who love their jobs will find themselves stressed out at work at times.

When work stress sets in, it is crucial to put the stress in perspective and change your way of thinking. Remind yourself that each stressful moment is a way for you to learn, grow, and develop.

Stay strong and remember these quotes that will put your work stress in perspective. Stay strong, focus on the task at hand, and do your best no matter how you are feeling.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Uncovering Phase

Decision Phase

Work Phase

Outcome/Deepening Phase

Not “we” anymore

Avoidance

Argue about everything

Lack of intimacy

Irritations grow

Silent treatment

Lack of communication

You forget about your partner.

Lost loyalty

He remains confident and composed in a crisis.

He is level-headed and compassionate.

He can let go of the past and look forward to the future.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!