Power of Positivity
February 07, 2013

If you’d like to add positivity to your parenting toolbox, you will do an excellent service to you, your family, and your stress level. Implementing these 20 positive parenting tips is a solid method to bring more happiness into your home and will significantly expand the emotional well being of your child and family.

20 Positive Parenting Tips

Read on to find twenty positive parenting tips (plus a bonus hint).

1 – Give Positive Attention While Spending Time With Your Child

When you’re hanging out with your kids, give them your undivided attention. Turn off the computer and cellphone so that you won’t be distracted. Focus on what they say. Ask them questions. What are they excited about? Is there anything they’re worried about? When you’re spending alone time with your child will make them feel like they’re the most crucial person in the world.

• Spend time alone with your child giving them your undivided attention
• Plan fun activities that the entire family can participate and enjoy
• Take them to different places outside of your neighborhood to expand their horizons such as museums, parks, beaches, camping trips, mountains, etc.
• Encourage your child on a daily basis which will help them to prosper in their daily lives
• Share a real interest in the things that matters to your child

2 – Encourage Positive Communication

• Talk “with” your child instead of talking “at” them
• Take the time to listen to what your child has to say and value the shared information
• Urge your child to open up about discussing large and small problems with you
• Don’t put your child down while they address any concerns or issues they are dealing with
• Plan some time each day to have a conversation with your child to discuss how their day went, and any possible difficulties they may have encountered.

3 – Schedule fun things for your family

Find activities that your entire family can do together.  Take your kids to places that are family-friendly. Do activities that build your family and create memories such as the following:

• Museums
• Parks
• Camping trips
• Hiking
• Fishing
• Beach trips

When you do these activities together, it creates a unique family bond.

4 – Build family traditions

Unique family traditions are a positive way to enhance your relationship with your kids. Whether it’s special holiday foods, or summer vacation traditions, or just a weekend tradition of watching a movie every Friday night, your kids will love looking forward to your family’s particular activity.

5 – Show Your Love Through Daily Action (maybe one of the easiest positive parenting tips to implement)

Show your child your love and support every day. Make them feel loved and cared for by your words and actions. Like everyone, kids have bad days when they feel grumpy or irritable. Give them some space on those days, but be sure to give them a hug, too. Even if they aren’t pleasant to be around, find a way to share encouragement or show love to them. Make their favorite cookies or leave them a little love note on their pillow to show your love through your actions.

• Show your love and support for your child daily as this will let your child know that you love and care for them
• Frequently give them hugs on good and bad days
• Continuous show your interest in your child’s life

6 – Build Healthy Confidence And Self-Esteem

Help your child feel good about themselves. Show them respect and empathy. Accept them as they are-their strengths and weaknesses. Don’t see your child as an extension of yourself, but as a unique individual that is growing and changing every day. They need encouragement to be themselves rather than what you want them to be.

• Teach your child that it’s good to feel positive about themselves
• Take out the time to speak and show your child that you know they are special
• Recognize and find positive confidence in them

7 – Continuously Promote Positive Values And Attitudes

Kids learn a lot from their parents. Positive parenting involves teaching your kids good attitudes and values in life. Teaching them values such as these:

• Honesty
• Kindness
• Empathy
• Courage
• Compassion
• Independence
• Respect
• Patience

It’s essential that you model these qualities for your kids. They will learn to be patient if you are patient with them. They’ll learn to be kind when they see you being helpful to them.

Here are some skills you should model for them:

• Teach your children at an early age how to care and respect themselves along with others around them
• Instruct them on the right and wrong things
• Try to minimize negative comments and give more positive comments
• Encourage good work habits in their academia and employment

8 – Encourage positive communication

Talk “with” your child instead of talking “at” them. Just like you, your kids don’t like it when you aren’t fully engaged with them. Take the time necessary to listen–and really hear–what they’re saying and value what they share. Set aside some time daily to find out how their day went.

Demonstrate excellent communication by being a good listener and asking the right questions. Stay positive during your times of communication, even if they share things you don’t like. Don’t minimize their problems, respect the fact that it’s important to them.

9 – Provide positive correction

Don’t be afraid to correct your child. A child who is never corrected is a selfish individual. Correction isn’t punishment. Studies show that having a favorable discipline structure at home helps your child fit well into the real-world as a happy and healthy person.

Be sure your child feels your support and love even in the midst of your correction. When you do this, your child will learn that correction is necessary, but not scary. You don’t need to make corrections a big deal, a simple word or look can help. Correct your child privately, so they don’t feel embarrassed. Never demean your child. Teach them that everybody messes up once in a while and needs help to get back on track.

10 – Teach your child to be unselfish

If you’ve ever heard a little child yell, “Mine” you know kids aren’t born unselfish. Positive parenting involves teaching your kids to be selfless. You can begin preparing your kids to be charitable at an early age. Here are age-appropriate areas to help your kids learn to be unselfish.

Young kids:

• Share their toys
• Learn to wait their turn
• Not screaming when they don’t get their way

Older kids:

• Be responsible even when it’s not convenient
• Serving others first
• Give instead of always taking
• Taking care of their books and toys

Of course, you need to model unselfishness to your child. They learn a lot by watching you relate to others and to them. So, be sure you’re learning unselfishness along with your kids.

11 –  Model good eating habits for your kids

Many parents don’t stop to consider their menu as “parenting tips.” But, eating well for a lifetime begins as home!

Kids can learn good eating habits from you. Instill a love for veggies, fruits, and other healthy snacks. Encourage your kids to help with the family’s food prep. Kids can cut salads and make sandwiches. Let them help you with menu planning for family meals. These positive experiences will encourage a healthy view of eating and food.

12 – Emphasize being physically active

Studies found that small changes in your home help your kids stay more physically active. A home gym, exercise bike, or sports equipment near the front door promotes activity. Model physical activity for your kids. Do fun games with your kids that require being active like jump rope, hopscotch, or a pick game of basketball.

13 – How to trust their gut instinct

Your children need to learn how to trust their gut instincts, or some call it intuition. It will keep them safe and happier. Explain what gut instincts are and give them some examples in your life where you trusted or didn’t trust your gut instinct. When they do this, tell them you’re impressed by how they listened to their intuition in the situation.

14 – Self-control

This parenting tip is essential.

There are many things in life your child can’t control, but they do have control of themselves. Kids can feel like they don’t get to get many choices but can make choices about their attitudes and behavior. If they’re losing a card game, they can throw their cards up in the air and stamp out of the room, or they can express their disappointment in a self-controlled way.

Parents model self-control or the lack of it all the time. When you’re in traffic, and another motorist cuts you off, if you scream obscenities at the driver, your child will learn it’s okay to lose control while driving. Modeling self-control will help your child the most.

15 – Don’t give up

It’s human nature to want to quit when stuff is tricky. Without nagging your kids, encourage them not to give up even when things get hard. Whether it’s a difficult chore at home or finishing their school project, kids need to learn to press on. Never belittle their efforts even though small, simply encourage them, they’re doing a great job. Walk with them through the process, one step at a time until they’re finished. They’ll feel relieved, but also proud. Over time, your child will grow more determined to keep going when things are hard.

16 – Encourage your kids to keep learning

Learning is a lifelong skill. Encourage your kids to learn everything they can about life. Encourage your kids’ curiosity. Find answers to their questions. Learn together as a family. Play games that emphasize knowing information. Instill a love for learning and exploring the world by being a role model for your children.

17 – Positive parenting means that children can trust you

It’s essential that you win your child’s trust. If you always break your promises, your child will learn that your word isn’t trustworthy. Not showing up for your child’s school play or missing their swim is a big deal to a kid, it means they can’t trust what you say. Try to keep your promises. All parents miss an event once in a while, but if it’s a constant habit, you will erode your kid’s trust in you.

18  – Teach them to do work

It sounds strange, but working doesn’t come naturally to kids. Teaching them how to do small chores around the house builds their confidence and sense of contribution to the household. Even small children can learn how to help. Older kids may need motivation and encouragement. You can allow them to have certain privileges once they’ve cleaned their room or mowed the grass. It may feel like a battle, but long term it’s worth it.  A teacher shared that the kids in her classroom who had to do chores at home were the more mature kids in his or her class.

Chores for young kids:

• Put their toys away
• Make their bed with some help
• Carry their plate to the sink

Chores for older kids:

• Mow the grass
• Clean up their room
• Put their clean clothes away
• Unload the dishwasher

Chores for teens:

• Wash their own clothes
• Take out the trash
• Feed and walk the dog
• Clean and vacuum their bedroom

19 –  Learn how to say no

This is hard even for some adults, but kids can learn how to disagree in a positive way. Model the correct way to disagree or how to refuse food politely. As they watch you, they’ll learn how to speak kindly but firmly about their preferences.

Teach them to disagree by saying, “I know what you mean, but I don’t agree with you” or to refuse food by saying, “No, thank you, I don’t want any spinach.”

Give them opportunities to practice at home. Of course, your child may say, “No thanks, mom, I don’t agree with you that I need to clean my room.” You may need to teach them that some stuff like chores isn’t optional. Learning how to disagree and say no politely builds confidence in your child.

20 –  Learning how to express their emotions properly

Kids have a lot of emotions. You can teach them how to express emotions like anger, fear, or disappointment properly. Modeling your own feelings is crucial, but you can also give them tools to help like profound breathing experiences to let go of anger or going for a walk when they feel disappointed.

Older kids can be taught journaling as a way to express their feelings. Emphasize the need for expressing their feelings privately instead of venting on social media. They may regret it later. A journal allows them the chance to vent without repercussions.

BONUS POSITIVE PARENTING TIP: Teach children how to spend time alone

Learning how to spend time alone is a helpful skill for kids. Teach them to enjoy the peace and calm of being by themselves. They can draw, look at books, read, write, or play quietly with their toys.

Final Thoughts on Practicing These Positive Parenting Tips

Positive parenting involves time, energy, and commitment. It’s the hardest job you’ll ever have, but the most rewarding one. As you model good listening, communication, and positive values to your kids, they’ll learn from you. Your investment in your kids’ life is invaluable. Your positive parenting will help them grow up to be happier adults.