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Therapists Reveal 6 Positive Ways To Deal With Sad Feelings

December 4, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

Sad feelings are a part of life. You’ll have times when you’re happy, but you’ll also have times of anger or sadness. When these emotions come around, it’s important to know how to regulate and manage them. Without proper management, they can escalate to more severe problems in the future.

Still, management is easier said than done. Many people around the world struggle with sad emotions and don’t know how to handle them properly. If you’re one of those people, then read on! Here’s how research and therapists reveal 6 positive ways to deal with sad feelings.

1. Distract Yourself From Rumination

Rumination refers to a situation where you essentially become trapped within your own thoughts as you stew in a pot of negative thoughts, regrets, and worries. It’s one of the main factors of disorders like depression and can worsen already negative emotions significantly, according to studies.

As such, well-being technology expert and consultant Tchiki Davis, Ph.D., says overcoming rumination is the first step to dealing with sad feelings. One of the best ways to do this is via distraction, especially with things that can boost positive thinking independently. Here are several ways you can distract yourself:

· Do Pleasant Activities

At first, it can feel like you don’t want to do anything nice but force yourself into it, and the positive thinking will slowly seep in. Go for a walk, play an instrument, engage in a hobby, or even think long-term by signing up for a class or learning something new.

· Spend Time With Loved Ones

Being around people you like can increase oxytocin production in the body, triggering positive feelings, and decreasing depressive symptoms. This can aid even just mild sadness!

· Shock Your System

Do something with your body that involves fully engaging it into something intense, such as a very cold shower, a difficult exercise routine, or playing an action-packed video game. These actions can force the brain to stop focusing on negative things and direct their energy on the task at hand.

2. Identify And Accept The Feelings

To deal with sad feelings, you have to be able to confront them. That means being aware of them, identifying them, tracing them to their causes, and accepting them. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist Jennifer Litner recommends asking yourself these questions to begin figuring out your emotions.

What is my current emotion? Is there more than one?
What has occurred that led to this emotion?
Is there an alternative explanation for the occurrence that makes logical sense?
What do I want to do regarding the emotions I’m experiencing?
Is there a better way for me to handle the emotions I’m experiencing than that?

This takes you, step-by-step, through the complexities of feelings and reactive negativity. You consider rational alternatives and reframe your mind so that you can productively diffuse the situation. After all, thinking about your emotions may contribute to overall happiness, according to science. At first, this won’t be easy to do, but eventually, you’ll become quite the pro as the habit builds!

However, it’s not just enough to identify emotions – you also have to accept them. Sad emotions are normal and are part of being human, and if you try to downplay what you feel, you’re going to invalidate yourself and bottle up too much. Acceptance of your feelings is what eventually leads to a more positive and happier life. It can take time to learn to accept your emotions, but as stated, the habit will build!

3. Let Yourself Cry

Have you ever heard someone boast about how they never cry? Those people might actually have the most pent up emotion. Crying is completely healthy and is one of the best ways to release the most severe emotions after a sad or difficult event. Here are some reasons crying can be beneficial, according to licensed professional counselor Trudi Griffin:

· It Releases Endorphins

Endorphins are a feel-good neurotransmitter that makes you feel more positive. When you cry, the body releases endorphins, which relax you and help you feel better.

· It Activates The Nervous System

The body’s parasympathetic nervous system functions in the realm of trauma and stress recovery. When you cry, this part of the nervous system is activated, facilitating faster recovery.

· It Communicates Pain

When you cry, you communicate to others around you that you are experiencing pain. If you have a positive support system, crying around them can help them empathize with you and offer appropriate and helpful levels of support to you.

There are, of course, a few caveats to the act of crying to manage emotion:

· Support Circles Matter

Research suggests that if the people around you – or the cultures you grew up in – consider crying shameful or a sign of weakness, you may not benefit from the usual positive functions of crying.

· Not Everything You Hear About The “Release” Is True

Former St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center Psychiatry Research Laboratories director Dr. William H. Frey, a biochemist, was famous for his research that suggested that crying could release toxins from the body. This research is now heavily disputed and believed to be either incorrect or insignificant due to the small number of toxins released.

· Forcing Yourself To Cry Does Not Help

If you do not feel like crying, you should not force yourself to cry! This can be counterproductive, and you should not force a reaction that you don’t have.

4. Take Care Of Your Health

A healthy body makes a healthy mind. On top of that, good health makes you feel better anyway, as you’re less likely to be able to manage emotions when you’re also sick. Here are some ways to take care of your health to reduce the severity of sad feelings:

· Get Enough Sleep

You need to get high-quality sleep in sufficient amounts to be in tip-top mental and physical shape. Board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and licensed psychologist Dr. Timothy Legg explains that individuals who have insomnia increase their risks of developing depression by a whopping 10%, according to studies! If you have trouble sleeping, avoid caffeine in the evening, make sure your mattress and bedroom are comfortable, and stop looking at screens an hour before bed.

· Exercise

There is no shortage of research out there that informs us of the many benefits of exercise. The act of working out releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins that boost your energy, relaxation, and positive thinking, especially among those who are depressed.

· Reduce Your Sugar Intake

High levels of sugar can be responsible for increased symptoms of depression. Research has found that it is just as bad for mental health as it is for physical health.

· Reduce Social Media Usage

Many people who use social media a lot can experience worsened self-esteem, says research. The fact that social media is also quite addictive means it’s often difficult not to fall into a dangerous cycle with your use of this medium. It’s simply not healthy to stare at screens all the time, anyway! Try logging off at a certain time, deleting certain apps or accounts, blocking certain websites, or giving yourself a set quota for weekly social media time, recommends Legg.

5. Try Common Practices For Relaxation

People have turned to tried-and-tested methods for relaxation and emotional regulation for centuries. Many practices that help relieve stress can be equally beneficial for sadness. Griffin recommends:

· Mindfulness

Mindfulness refers to the act of being completely present and grounded, releasing worries of the past and future. It also means noticing and being aware of your emotions and situation with acceptance and patience. As such, it isn’t just relaxing, but it can also help you fight rumination, identify feelings, and accept them. Numerous studies have indicated the repeated use of mindfulness can alter the way your brain reacts to negative emotions, potentially shortening recovery time.

· Meditation

Meditation, especially combined with mindfulness, helps the brain to regulate its responses to negative stimuli, according to studies. Just 15 minutes of a basic mindfulness meditation activity can help relax you and center your thoughts, allowing you to begin working through the sadness.

· Yoga

Yoga helps you be more aware of your body and mind while also aiding in stress relief and mood improvement. Studies have found an effective form of treatment for depression in many cases, especially when provided as a supplement to pre-existing treatment.

· Tai Chi

Tai Chi works similarly to yoga, aiding in the awareness of your mind, thoughts, and body. Most interestingly, it has been scientifically proven to help reduce the pain of both the physical and mental kind, even in individuals with diagnosed chronic pain disorders.

6. Talk To A Professional

If your sad feelings are becoming overwhelming and affecting your everyday life, it may be time to try talking to a professional. There’s a lot of stigma around seeing a therapist, counselor, or psychologist, but that’s because we often don’t consider mental health as important as physical health. If you would go to the doctor for physical pain, you should see a professional for a mental one, too.

Litner states that constant emotional dysregulation over a long period of time is often linked to serious mental health conditions. This can include bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, and borderline personality disorder. These problems need proper help and treatment.

Besides, some emotional regulation difficulties are related to severe problems, like family issues and trauma, which also need help, says therapist Vicki Botnick. A mental health professional can offer much needed unbiased and nonjudgmental support to you if you have these issues. They can:

Help you manage severe mood swings.
Show you the methods to practice the reframing and understanding of your emotions.
Delve into the root causes behind your emotional issues
Teach you how to regulate emotions better
Prevent the worsening of conditions to the point of suicidal desire or self-harming behavior

Final Thoughts On Some Positive Ways To Deal With Sad Feelings

Sad feelings are unavoidable, and you’ll have times when you’re so blue, you wonder if you’ll ever be okay again. But keep your positive thinking, because you can overcome these emotions. Just put these 6 positive ways to deal with sad feelings into practice and not be afraid to get help if you need it.

3 Signs You’re Taking Things Personally (And How To Stop)

December 4, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

The world is wide and full of billions of unique individuals. It makes sense, clearly, that it doesn’t revolve around you. But, sometimes, do you feel like it does?

Taking things to heart when they’re not about you is far from an uncommon behavior. Unfortunately, it’s not healthy and can damage your relationships, opportunities, and yourself.

Signs You’re Taking Things Personally

Here are 3 signs you’re taking things personally and how to stop it through 4 methods.

1. Your Negative Emotions Occur Frequently

Everyone experiences negative emotions once in a while. That’s normal and valid. What isn’t normal is constantly feeling a wide range of negative emotions in response to the people around you. This is especially true if they’re overpowering and disproportionate. Here are some examples:

· Insecurity

Seeing other people do well makes you feel uncomfortable and triggers strong feelings of insecurity. For example, seeing someone post a photo of themselves on social media might make you despise your own appearance.

· Guilt

Do you always feel guilty? This is likely because you’re internalizing a lot of things you take personally. Instead of lashing out, you might be turning those thoughts inwards. For example, you might blame yourself for things outside of your control or wish you could do more about things you don’t need to take responsibility for.

· Pessimism

No matter what the situation, you refuse to have any positive thinking. You can’t help worrying about things that will go wrong, and you might even constantly focus on negative things over positive ones, even when there is more good than bad to be found in a situation.

· Sensitivity

You often find yourself getting the wrong message out of someone’s words because you were too sensitive to hear their point. Sometimes, you might wonder if you intentionally misunderstand others.

2. You’re Always Trying To Prove Yourself

Do you feel like you’re always trying to prove yourself or gain the approval of people around you? It’s a very toxic quality that can harm you and push others away, and it’s a key sign that you take things too personally. Here’s how to tell if you’re doing this:

· You Can’t Handle Constructive Criticism

People who provide genuine, positive constructive criticism, it’s not a personal attack. It’s someone trying to help you learn and improve. But if constructive criticism makes you feel insulted, you’re taking it personally and feeling upset at the lack of approval from others.

· You Need Immediate Validation

Whenever you do something, you’re always thinking about the praise you could earn from it. Worse still, you always want that praise and appreciation instantly from the people around you.

· You’re A Social Perfectionist

You hate making blunders in public and desperately want others to think well of you. When something goes wrong, you might experience an exaggerated negative reaction because you fear your reputation is permanently damaged.

3. You Make Everything About You, Or Think Everything Is

It’s sort of impossible not to take things personally when your worldview is completely centered on yourself. Everything is somehow about you, whether good or bad, so you’re going to be affected by virtually everything. Here are some more specific signs that this applies to you:

· It Feels Like An Attack When Someone Dislikes What You Like

You know, logically, that every person is unique in preferences and tastes. But for some reason, whenever someone doesn’t feel positive about your passions and likes, you feel like it’s a personal attack on the core of your preferences. The same goes for opinions and beliefs.

· You Create Stories In Your Head

Your friend calls to cancel a lunch plan you had together, telling you they have a last-minute emergency at home. Instead of accepting the explanation for a very rare cancelation, you start making up stories. You wonder if your friend is angry at you and holding a grudge over something you said last month. You start thinking that they’re distancing themselves from you. By the time an hour is over, you’re fully convinced your friend hates you and is going to cut you off. It’s many logical leaps to get to an entirely unfounded conclusion! These imagined situations ruin your positive thinking and are not healthy ways to handle conflict.

· You Always Think About How Situations Affect You

It’s natural to have self-preservation, so it’s not unusual to consider how you’ll be affected by something severe or significant. But that’s not the kind of problem being referred to! Every single situation, no matter how distant, you find yourself thinking about the ways a butterfly effect could get to you.

For example, someone being hungry makes you think about how they might be easily annoyed in this state. So you worry they will lash out at you and steer clear of them for a while. It’s an exaggerated response to nothing!

How To Stop Taking Things Personally

1. Learn That Others’ Opinions Don’t Matter

If you constantly seek approval from the people around you, you’re going to take things personally. This can often come from low self-esteem; you disapprove of yourself, so you need it from others. Worse still, you’ll constantly lose positive thinking because it’s simply impossible to please everyone, and you’ll open yourself up to more attacks from others. Here are some things to think about in this vein:

Not everyone is going to like you or accept you because everyone is different and varied in opinions
It is impossible to control what others think of you; no matter how hard you try, people’s brains aren’t influenced by you
Social conditioning makes many feel like they must “belong” with the crowd, but it’s far from necessary
Accepting yourself means opening yourself up to more positive relationships with people who do like you for who you are

2. Stop Jumping To Conclusions

It’s easy to jump to conclusions when someone confronts you immediately. But don’t! A lot of times, someone’s actions and behaviors aren’t about you. They might not even really be directed at you. Most people are self-focused, and their actions may be a reflection of themselves. Let them explain before you start making reaches.

Human beings actually have the natural tendency to jump to conclusions, even when it would obviously be more positive for it to wait and see the truth. This means you’re fighting the programming of your brain, so don’t be too hard on yourself and slowly work on the process of unlearning these leaps. Here are some tips for doing so:

· Make Space

As the person on the receiving end of what seems like a hurtful interaction, you’re way too close to your emotions to think clearly right off the bat. So stop your thought process and pause, separating yourself from the emotions you feel. From a third-person perspective, are your emotions reasonable? When they don’t cloud your vision, do you still feel personally targeted?

· Pause

The brain has many automatic, built-in defenses that cause it to react quickly to certain situations. Your past experiences have shaped the immediate impulses of your brain. Remember, you are in control of your mind, not the other way around. Force yourself to take a pause and push your own voice and logic forward, overriding the brain’s natural desire to leap to the first thing it grabs.

· Put Yourself In The Other Person’s Shoes

What message is this person attempting to say to you? Are they really the kind of person to mean to insult you? From what you know of them, could their heated behavior be the cause of a personal issue? What else have they dealt with today? Do they lack certain skills in communication? All of these questions allow you to consider things from their perspective, and you might find that they don’t mean to attack you personally, after all.

3. Don’t Feed The Trolls

Of course, there will be some people out there who genuinely mean harming you and want you to take things personally. How can you fight something like that? What you have to do is learn to recognize these kinds of people – and then stop engaging with them at all.

Start learning to stop obviously goading statements, often used in direct insults. When someone insults you, ignore them and move on. Those who “troll” are often seeking reactions, and when they don’t get one, they’ll stop. Besides, that means it’s not about you – it’s about their entertainment, boredom, and a bad personality. Here are some things to keep in mind:

· Don’t Sink

Hurtful, toxic people are cruel and disrespectful. There’s no need to sink to their level by shooting back petty insults. This can cause an endless spiral that’s very difficult to break out of! Don’t become a part of the problem.

· Don’t Drink Poison

Toxic people are always trying to feed you poison. But their poison is of a feeble kind – you can choose to let it not affect you. Don’t taste the bitterness of their words. They have picked them specifically to be as painful as possible, and they don’t deserve to be able to succeed in hurting you.

· Don’t Give Away Your Power

When you let these kinds of negative people get a rise out of you, you’re giving away your power to them. They don’t deserve that side of you! Reclaim your power by being the bigger person. Stay above them, and they will go away in their own time.

4. Clarify and Communicate

Not sure what someone’s intentions are? Well, ask! Once you’ve taken over your brain and prevented conclusion-jumping, please take a deep breath, and clarify with the person what they meant.

The fact is that miscommunications are incredibly common. Lots of people mean things differently than they come out. You can mishear, others can misspeak, and people can lash out and immediately realize they shouldn’t have. Just communicate! There’s a reason that talking honestly and directly is the key to harmonious relationships of all kinds, after all.

Final Thoughts On Some Signs You’re Taking Things Personally And How To Stop It

Most people in the world aren’t trying to put you down or be mean to you. A lot of them are at least a little self-focused, too. So the next time you catch a sign that you’re taking something personally, circumvent it and stop the thought process. The world is about more than just you, and you’re about more than just the people around you!

Nutritionists Reveal 8 Foods That Will Improve Your Mood

December 4, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

They say that you are what you eat. That fact may ring even more true than you think! As it turns out, the food you put into your body will affect many of its functions, including ones that could moderate, stabilize, or improve your mood.

This is why eating healthily can be essential for managing mood. Even in those with mental illness, changing diet can help relieve certain symptoms and make the disorders more manageable on the whole.

While they aren’t cure-all solutions for negative emotions and experiences, eating mindfully and well can be great for your body and mind all at once. But what options do you have? Here’s how nutritionists reveal 8 foods that will improve your mood.

1. Leafy Green Vegetables

Leafy green veggies are fantastic for your health, and they’re also good for your mood. This is thanks to a vitamin in them called folate, a B vitamin, says certified nutrition specialist Cathy Wong.

Research indicates that individuals who have depression tend to have lower folate levels in their blood than those without the disorder. Folate deficiency can be a cause for multiple problems with neurotransmitters associated with mood, including:

Dopamine
Noradrenaline
Serotonin

Multiple other studies find links between vegetables and depression risks and symptoms, which is nothing new. It’s fairly common for research to reveal more positive outcomes in the mood for those who eat lots of vegetables. As such, though more research is needed regarding folate and its links to mood, it’s safe to assume that eating vegetables will help more than harm.

Here are some leafy green vegetables you can try!

Artichokes
Avocado
Broccoli
Edamame
Lentils
Okra
Spinach
Turnip greens

2. Chocolate

Chocolate tastes great and is a good way to get an immediate mood boost. This is especially true for dark chocolate, which is essentially the most “pure” form of the treat that holds most of its positive components. Here are some reasons chocolate can boost mood:

· It Has Feel-Good Compounds

Multiple different compounds within chocolate can help improve overall positive thinking and mood. This includes theobromine, caffeine, and N-acylethanolamine.

· It’s Packed With Flavonoids

Flavonoids provide countless benefits to health, and one of these benefits is seen in inflammation reduction. This is done by increasing blood circulation to the brain, which helps regulate mood and boosts the health of the brain, according to studies.

· It’s Pleasurable

Chocolate ranks high on the hedonic rating scale. This means that its texture, taste, and scent can all help create a positive mood.

· It’s Fuel

The brain loves chocolate because it’s a quick, easy fuel source that it can use for a significant period of time. It perks you right up with that energy, says research!

Not sure how much chocolate is too much? Certified Dietician Nutritionist and Registered Dietitian Jaclyn London recommends between 150 and 200 calories worth of the stuff per day, or the equivalent of about an ounce.

3. Fatty Fish

Fatty fish is full of healthy fats, especially omega-3 fatty acids, which are awesome for the brain. This is why the president of both the Australian Alliance for the Prevention of Mental Disorders and the International Society for Nutritional Psychiatry Research, Felice Jacka, Ph.D., highly recommends fish for fighting depression. Here are some facts that support this:

Fatty fish contain two different kinds of omega-3 fatty acids. These are eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and the more commonly known docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). Both have been found in studies to reduce depression symptoms and levels.
Omega-3 fatty acids work by aiding the brain’s fluidity, specifically in the cell membrane. This can help the brain with its cell signaling and development, according to research.
Fish oil contains lots of omega-3, and some studies have found that consuming fish oil can reduce scores of depression and its symptoms.

4. Berries Can Improve Your Mood

Just like how vegetable consumption is linked to lower vegetable risk, similar results have been found with fruit consumption. Registered Dietitian Katey Davidson attributes this to the antioxidants you can find thriving richly in them, and berries are some of the best sources for those components.

Antioxidants are potent, as they fight inflammation that can contribute to mood disorders like depression. Combined with the phenolic compounds in berries, they fight off oxidative stress caused by a compound imbalance within the body. This ultimately results in a more healthy body and better positive thinking.

Berries with a deep blue-purple color are rich in a pigment called anthocyanin. These are the absolute best sources of the antioxidants and compounds you seek, so try to opt for berries like blueberries or raspberries.

These healthy foods can help boost your mood.

5. Fermented Foods

Fermented foods are famous for their benefits to digestive health, but they can also work wonders for the mood. In general, gut health is connected to mental health in surprising ways, say studies, but that’s not the only reason fermented meals help your brain. Here’s how fermented foods wind up, helping your positive thinking:

· Step 1

Food is fermented through the process of using live bacteria to convert sugars into different components, like acids and alcohols.

· Step 2

During fermentation, probiotics, which are live microorganisms, are made. These probiotics are capable of doing several positive things, like aiding healthy gut bacteria growth and boosting serotonin levels.

· Step 3

The serotonin levels in your body increase. Serotonin is a feel-good hormone instrumental in positive thinking, aiding things like libido, stress response, mood, and even appetite. 90% of the serotonin you have comes from the gut, hence benefiting the probiotics in kefir.

Here are some options for fermented foods that you can eat to improve your mood:

Kombucha
Kimchi
Sauerkraut
Yogurt

6. Nuts and Seeds

Nuts and seeds have a lot of great things going for them. They’re packed with fiber, healthy fat, protein, and more. But it’s not just these things that make nuts and seeds ideal for boosting mood, says Davidson. Here are some other science-backed reasons they work:

· They Contain Tryptophan

Tryptophan is an amino acid – or a protein – that helps the body produce serotonin, a feel-good and calming hormone. Nuts contain significant amounts of this amino acid, helping positive thinking along the way.

· They Are Mineral-Rich

Being deficient in certain minerals has been linked to noticeably higher risks and rates of depression and similar disorders. Two of these minerals, selenium and zinc, are richly found in nuts and seeds.

· They Are A Mediterranean Staple

For years, Mediterranean diets have been touted as excellent for brain health, both when it comes to maintaining long-term cognitive function and positive mood. Nuts and seeds are a strong staple of these diets, contributing to the results found with that kind of meal plan.

Of course, the research also speaks for itself. In a study conducted over an entire decade, thousands of participants experienced a 23% lower depression rate when consuming nuts. Here are some nuts and seeds to try out:

Almonds
Brazil nuts
Cashews
Peanuts
Pine nuts
Pumpkin seeds
Sesame seeds
Sunflower seeds
Walnuts

7. Whole Grains

Whole grains are the healthiest way to get filling, fuel-providing carbs into your body without sending your blood sugar levels into turmoil. They’re also a wonderful way to boost mood, and Wong recommends them thanks to their high content of valuable B vitamins.

Here are some of the notable B vitamins in whole grains and what they do:

B1, or thiamin, changes glucose into energy.
B5, or pantothenic acid, produces the hormone acetylcholine to aid memory and learning.
B6, or tryptophan, which we’ve already discussed and which makes serotonin
B12, which the body needs for numerous neurotransmitter functions and creations

One of the better options for whole-grain goodness is steel-cut oats. They pack lots of fiber, which helps you digest them in an easier and healthier way for your blood sugar. If you eat them at breakfast, you’re likely to feel good all morning thanks to how they maintain your glucose at a healthy balance, say studies.

Not sure what whole grains to get, other than steel-cut oatmeal? Check the ingredients of the packs you’re interested in. For every 5 grams of carbs, there should be a minimum of one gram of dietary fiber. Any less, and it’s not a whole grain. Try:

Amaranth
Brown rice
Bulgur
Millet
Quinoa
Wild rice

8. Drinks

Sure, drinks aren’t technically “food,” but they’re easy ways to incorporate all sorts of mood-boosting benefits into your body. Here are some great drinks to get your brain in tip-top shape, but do note that they need to be consumed in moderation:

· Caffeine

Caffeine has a special compound known as adenosine. It works by attaching itself to the brain’s receptors, reducing tiredness to boost your concentration and alertness. This also, in turn, results in the release of feel-good hormones, according to Davidson. A study actually found that individuals who drink coffee with caffeine experience a notable mood boost compared to those with a placebo.

· Wine

Consuming moderate and reasonable amounts of alcohol can add miles to your positive thinking, as long as you keep it to one glass a day. The fact that it helps your heart, maintains cognitive strength, and increases your longevity is a great bonus!

· Kefir

Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Stefani Sassos particularly recommends kefir for its probiotic qualities, as it both provides the benefits of fermented foods while helping the immune system and digestion.

Final Thoughts On Some Foods That Have The Ability To Improve Your Mood

It’s easy to roll your eyes at the concept of eating better for your brain. Naturally, it can be pretty impressive to think that eating different kinds of food may help you feel better every day. That’s because what you eat changes the way your body functions. If you fuel your body with positive things, you’ll get positive returns. So eat well, and you might be surprised by how much better you feel!

As always, it is worth noting that food alone cannot cure or remove mood disorders like major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, or dysthymia. If you are experiencing a severely negative mood, do not attempt to “treat” yourself by eating certain foods! See a mental health professional to discuss your problems, as you may need a more medical form of treatment. But for moderate depression or mood swing, you can improve your mood with these smart food choices.

Neuroscience Explains Why Kids See Fathers as Superheroes

December 4, 2020 by Power of Positivity

There’s nothing as important to a child as their parents. From the cradle, the bond with mom is inevitable. But fathers must work a little bit harder during those first few months to solidify their importance. However, after endless diaper changes and cuddling, the child soon learns that the father is another person in their life on whom they can depend.

As the child grows and develops, their father takes on the role of strength and vigor. Most children grow up with the belief that their father is as strong and powerful as a superhero. When a kid falls and scrapes their knee, they run to mom for comfort, but they run to dad when they need someone to protect them.

The feelings of having a superhuman dad don’t go away as time goes on. Every little girl dreams about her father walking her down the aisle and giving her hand in marriage. She also knows that if anything should go wrong in this union that her dad will protect her.

Fathers Give Comfort Children–Just Like Mom!

There is a sense of comfort that comes from believing that your dad can conquer anything and save you at a moment’s notice. Consequently, it’s an essential part of developing a healthy relationship between the father and child. Men were meant to be strong warriors that protected their families and villages since the dawn of time.

A survey by Ripley’s Believe It or Not to see how children between the ages of 6-8 years old view their dads. Shockingly, more than half of the 1,000 kids stated that they believed their father had superhero powers. Some believe that their dads can read minds, or he has a secrete lair where he keeps his crime-fighting paraphernalia.

It’s apparent that children have superior visions regarding their fathers, but they never let their imagination become limited. Just as a child, watching cartoons believes that animals can talk, people can fly, and you can activate superhuman strength with one magical command. They take comfort in believing that their dad holds that same supernatural powers.

The Psychological Importance of a Relationship with Dad

Children can form bonds with many people. While mom may take the forefront during feeding and the close nurturing of infancy, dad quickly develops a place. The bonding that happens between a child and their father is important for their healthy psychological development.

Have you ever seen a woman that prefers to date older men? One of the first things that people say is that she has “daddy issues.” They really mean that she didn’t have that strong relationship that many daddies and daughters develop, and she is lacking. In return, she tries to fill that void by finding a man that can take the place of the relationship she longed for in her life.

Developmentally, both roles of the parents are essential. Since a child feels safe and secure, knowing that dad will take care of everything, it creates a space or void when they grow up without security feelings. The need for protection and safety is inevitable, so they will search for whatever methods possible to fill that hole.

How Role Dichotomy Has Changed

Times have certainly changed. In previous decades, women stayed home and took care of the children while dad “brought home the bacon.” The role of this dichotomy has changed over the last twenty years. The lines between the roles of mom and dad are blurred.

Females now hold full-time jobs and can be doctors, surgeons, congresswomen, and hold any career they choose. Men can also branch out into new areas such as nursing or preschool teachers. You see an increase in stay at home dads that allow mom to go to work while they do the child-rearing.

Lastly, both parents might work, and a daycare center is responsible for care during the week. With these new roles come changes in the development of some children. They may view their father as the nurturing one and their mom as their safety net, and these diverse views are becoming commonplace.

Society is finally giving mothers and fathers the freedom to choose their roles within the family unit. It’s making a tremendous shift in parenting formalities and the bonds children form with these respective positions.

Fathers and Their Hormonal Shifts During Pregnancy

Ironically, dads don’t carry the baby or experience any of the sensations that a pregnant mother does. Yet, many report that they do have cravings and feel different when their partner is expecting. Could a dad also feel hormonal changes in anticipation of a new baby?

Not only does the mother’s brain encounter seismic changes after the birth of their child, but it seems that dads are altered by hormones too. Albeit, the alterations occur in diverse ways. To confirm this theory, a 2012 Israeli study wanted to see how brains reacted when both mothers and fathers interacted with their children.

Parents both got to observe videotapes of interactions between them and their kids. They were hooked to electrodes to monitor brain activity as they watched the videos. The mothers showed an increase in their minds’ emotional centers, but the fathers increased cognitive function.

To dig even deeper into the switching of parenting roles, they used a same-sex couple to see how dissimilar their responses. The men both showed reactions that would be typical of a mom and dad. This proves that the brain is hardwired to spring into action for whatever the child needs, and a man can serve roles as both mother and father when necessary.

There have been numerous studies conducted on what hormonal responses a woman has after she gives birth. These responses help her to bond with her child. However, a father will also experience many of the same shifts, mainly increasing prolactin and oxytocin. When these hormones boost, it only makes it easier to bond with the child.

The Northwestern University Study

Research shows that many children take school closures in stride.

A study from Northwestern University proves that fathers do experience changes in their body too. Their testosterone levels drop to make them more nurturing. Experts theorize that this could be to keep fathers from wandering, and it keeps their interests engaged where they’re needed, at home.

Current investigations prove that the dad’s stress levels during conception are passed onto the unborn child. The amount of genetic information that is given by the parents to the child is uncanny. However, there is also evidence that you receive vital information from your grand or great-grandparents too.

Did you know that if your great-grandparent had a condition like asthma, you’re at an increased risk of developing this ailment? Genetics is a powerful thing, and your parents can pass both good and bad genes on to you.

What Is Dad’s Role Today?

The impact on a dad through the life of their child is substantial. It should never play second fiddle to that of the mother as both roles are equally important. When dad has a stable and healthy relationship with his children’s mother, then the chances of being involved in their life increase.

Additionally, these children who have both parents working and striving to make them well-rounded typically produce emotionally and psychologically stable kids. Do you remember the vintage cartoon of the Berenstain Bears?

They were a lovely family where both mom and dad support each other and the kids. What’s unique about this cartoon is that the dad always had to hold the mom up so that, in return, she could hold the children up. It was undoubtedly a traditional shift in parenting roles that weren’t apparent when this show aired.

However, in recent years the shift has become apparent, but both parents must equally support one another to raise a well-rounded child. The role of the father in the family unit is expanding. Men no longer go to work from 9-5 pm and come home to be waited on hand and foot by a homemaker wife.

Now, both parents work, and when their workday is complete, they share the home and children’s responsibility. You might see a dad carrying the diaper bag or carrying the child into a public restroom to change a diaper, and society is accommodating for these alterations. Many public restrooms now have diaper changing centers in the male bathrooms too.

Final Thoughts On Dad The Superhero

Mom seems to get most of the attention when a child is born because she carries the baby inside her. The bond between the two of them is apparent. However, dad is just as important as a mom as his strength helps to make the child strong.

Today’s society embraces fathers who do the grocery shopping, take the kids to daycare, become stay at home parents, and make dinner. The role of dads is expanding, and it’s quite liberating for the men who don’t want to be viewed in the typical 1950s iconic male role.

As time goes on, society has realized that fathers can have any role in the child’s life they want. And we should praise them for stepping up and taking on more. It only creates children that are well-rounded when both parents work together for their good. Where would you be without your father?

Don’t Be Afraid of Being Alone. Be Afraid of Being In A Bad Relationship

December 4, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Dating these days is hard because people are afraid of bad relationships. Let’s face it – things are much different than they used to be. Societal values have changed dramatically, and technology has revolutionized the dating scene (and not necessarily for the better).

Even worse, chivalry seems dead, but many modern women don’t mind since they feel more liberated than they did so many decades ago. That leaves men confused and women who like chivalry feeling missing out.

While all these modern-day changes may be suitable for human advancement, it’s not necessarily the best for dating. You may have noticed this already, especially if you’re reading this article. People are confused when it comes to dating – they’re afraid of a lousy relationship, but they’re also afraid of being alone, so they settle for someone who doesn’t meet their standards. This results in lots of relationship problems.

What keeps a person in a bad relationship?

Many people stay in toxic relationships for various reasons. They think being alone is worse, so they deal with unhappiness and abuse. Here are three reasons people stay in bad relationships.

You think there is no one better.

As mentioned before, dating is hard. Finding someone compatible is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It’s so difficult that it can feel like there are no good prospects out there. When you feel this way, giving up a partner you’ve already snagged off the market can be scary, even if the person is unhappy in the relationship.

Thoughts of everything you have been through can be stifling. You may feel like finding yet another partner to create memories with is impossible. It may seem like so much work to do it all over again.

Going through the dating process all over again can seem tedious, especially if you already think there aren’t good prospects. There is just no motivation to do better when you feel that there isn’t anyone better. You might give up on the idea of being in a happy relationship.

You must change this way of thinking if you’re ever going to be happy. It’s not easy, but you must believe someone is better out there.

Relationship coach Jordan Gray suggests that the best way to meet someone better is to be better. Work on improving yourself, and you’ll encounter someone better than your ex. Remember, you need to leave the current lousy partner as soon as possible because you’ll never find someone if you are stuck with the wrong one.

You feel that you don’t deserve better.

Perhaps you aren’t concerned that you can’t find someone better. It could be that you feel like you are unworthy of someone better. Clinical psychologist Suzanne Lachmann, Psy.D. says that feelings of not deserving better come from things that have happened in a person’s past that influence their outlook, or “in-look,” as Dr. Lachmann puts it.

Something in a person’s past makes them feel like they should be in a bad relationship. Another way to look at it is that something in their past also makes them afraid to be alone, so they stay with a lousy partner.

Dr. Lachmann suggests that this isn’t uncommon. Everyone holds on to something from their past that makes them feel undeserving. For some people, it manifests as staying in a toxic relationship.

It can be hard to change this pattern, but the first step is to realize you need to change. For this to happen, it may take an outside influence to help you see the issues you are dealing with.

You may be financially dependent on your partner.

When you get most or all your financial support from someone, it can be terrifying to think about leaving. The world is expensive and getting pricier by the minute. Good intentions don’t pay bills.

Striving out independently without money, support, or resources can be tough. It can be crippling, which is precisely why you would stay in a bad relationship. However, this doesn’t mean you are stuck. It just means you need to prepare to struggle a little bit, and you need to get creative.

Some programs can help people coming out of abusive relationships. They won’t provide the best resources, but they will provide you enough to get out of the relationship and stand on your own two feet. If you’re worried about handling life alone, you may be pleasantly surprised at how well you handle it when you give yourself a chance to.

Here is why you shouldn’t be afraid to be alone.

Psychologists agree that being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. It might be rejuvenating for a person to focus on themselves. Here are some reasons you should embrace being alone.

You can focus on building yourself up.

Being in a lousy relationship can do a number on your self-esteem. Your confidence may have hit the floor, and you might be at the end of your rope. When you are single, getting your self-esteem back is much easier. This is because you don’t have some lousy partner eating away at your self-love.

If it helps, don’t think of being single as being alone. Think of it as you are dating yourself. Get to know yourself. Find out what you like – what makes you tick. Take yourself on nice dates and buy yourself nice gifts. Make yourself happy. Fall in love with yourself.

When you love yourself, you won’t ever have to worry about being in a bad relationship again. Your self-esteem and self-worth will be so high that no one can bring it down.

You’ll have room in your life for the partner of your dreams.

You can’t meet the right person if you’re in a relationship. The right person will have too much respect for your relationship to deal with you. That’s exactly what you want – someone who respects boundaries.

Don’t miss your Mr. or Mrs. Right because you’re trying to hold on to someone so wrong. It’s scary, but you must believe that there are good, worthy people out there that can make you happy. You also need to ensure you’ve healed from dealing with the wrong person so you don’t let those old feelings affect your new relationship.

You can believe that it’s okay to be alone.

People seem to give the status of “alone” or “single” such a negative connotation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being attached. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be attached.

Society tends to make people think they should be dating by a certain age, married by a certain age, and have kids by a certain age. This may have been the norm at one point in history, but now it’s not. People are more focused on themselves and their careers than ever before.

People are more interested in living life to the fullest before settling down, and that’s okay. If you take the time to entirely focus on the things you want to do before settling down, you won’t have any regrets later in life. You won’t feel trapped, and you won’t feel unfulfilled.

Don’t let anyone pressure you into believing something is wrong with you for wanting to be alone. Embrace all that being alone has to offer.

You’ll discover what you really want in a partner.

Being in a lousy relationship can sometimes cause you to have blinders. You’ll be so consumed with emotions from dealing with your partner that you don’t have time to think about what you really want. You may wish that your partner did certain things or acted a certain way, but it can be hard to think clearly when you’re so emotionally invested in a situation like this.

Being single lets you focus on what you genuinely want in a relationship. The freedom you’ll have lets you truly get in touch with your feelings. You’ll have the added benefit of dating – even if it’s hard – and this can help you discover all the traits you don’t want in a partner.

Final Thoughts on Being Alone Instead of in a Bad Relationship

Humans are naturally social creatures, so it’s no surprise that people don’t want to be alone. However, being alone doesn’t mean you have to be alone forever. Being alone can be a period of enlightenment that helps you grow and become a better person.

One thing is for sure. You shouldn’t stay in a bad relationship out of fear of being alone. No one benefits from a lousy relationship, not even the person that’s making the relationship lousy. If you’re in this situation, the best thing you can do is embrace being alone to have a bright and loving future with the right one. In the end, you’ll be glad you faced your fear.

How to Remove Warts and Skin Tags Permanently

December 4, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

If you have these bumps on your skin, you may wonder how you can naturally remove warts and skin tags. While warts and skin tags aren’t the same, they are similar and can be removed similarly.

Many people are affected by these common skin issues. While skin tags are harmless, they can be painful if you snag or bump them on something. Luckily, there are natural remedies to remove warts and skin tags permanently.

Of course, you should always consult your doctor before taking matters into your own hands. This step is to rule out any other, more serious conditions. While it is easy to recognize these skin conditions, you always want to be sure.

The Difference Between Warts and Skin Tags

The difference between warts and skin tags is simple. Warts, or papillomas, are caused by the human papillomavirus, also known as HPV. They have round raised bumps and aren’t dangerous but can be contagious.

Skin tags, on the other hand, are soft, skin-colored growths that form on the skin. They are most often found on your neck, armpits, groin, eyelids, and breasts but can appear anywhere there is thick skin or skin folds. Thicker areas of skin or areas where there are skin folds are most susceptible to these formations.

Instead of being caused by HPV, the cause of skin tags is unknown. They are likely due to skin rubbing against skin or another type of repeated friction against your skin. Skin tags are collagen fibers that accumulate in and on the skin.

How to Remove Warts and Skin Tags for Good

Leaving warts and skin tags on your skin won’t do any harm. However, removing them is relatively easy if they bother you or don’t like the appearance.

1. Try Tea Tree Oil

For this method, you will only need a few drops of tea tree oil and two tablespoons of water. You will mix the oil with the water and then spread it on the raised skin and dry.

Do this around five times daily until the skin is smooth and clear. If you would rather, you can do it once a day and place a band-aid over it each time.

The tea tree oil will kill bacteria, viruses, and fungus as it helps get rid of unwanted warts or skin tags. While it is safe for any skin area, it should not be used near your eyes.

2. Apply Propolis to the Area

This method requires a couple of drops of 50% propolis tincture, which can be found in most drug stores. You will also need a cotton ball and a band-aid.

Once you have all the materials, apply the propolis to your skin in the affected area. Then, place the cotton ball over the top of it and secure it with the hand aid. Do this two times each day until you see the results you desire.

Propolis can prevent infections and viruses, and it can further stimulate your immune system. It will also prevent unwanted bacteria from getting inside as it works to remove the skin tag or wart.

One study on this topic notes that results are inconclusive. The treatment worked on some participants but not on others. Chalk it up as “it’s at least worth a try.”

3. Use Vitamin E

One of the things that can cause skin tags is increasing age. This means that antioxidants can help remove them and prevent any others from forming. Since Vitamin E is an antioxidant, it is the perfect remedy to remove them.

Rub the Vitamin E oil onto the affected area each day until the growth is gone. It should only take a couple of days to do its job.

4. Apply Apple Cider Vinegar

You will need a few drops of apple cider vinegar, a cotton pad, and a band-aid. Soak the cotton pad in the apple cider vinegar and put it on top of the wart or skin tag. Secure the cotton pad with a band-aid and leave it on overnight.

In the morning, remove the cotton pad. Do this each night before bed; you will notice results within one week. The acid in apple cider vinegar will destroy the tissue of raised skin, making it disappear or fall off.

Another option is to do these same steps but only leave the cotton pad attached for thirty minutes. However, if you do it this way, you may not notice the results for a couple of weeks. Or, you could leave it secure for only 10 minutes but do it multiple times a day.

5. Use Garlic

All that you will need for this method is a few cloves of garlic. Crush the cloves and then apply it to the affected area, leaving it overnight. This works due to the garlic’s ability to fight off viruses, bacteria, fungus, and parasites.

You could also try taking garlic pills to help remove warts and skin tags. It may not work as quickly, but you won’t smell like garlic daily.

6. Rub a Banana Peel on It

Another easy material list for this method, as all you will need is a banana peel. Rub the banana peel on the wart or skin tag for a couple of minutes daily. It may take weeks with this method, but you’ll notice results sooner if you do it multiple times a day.

The banana peel method works because the peel contains enzymes that are known to heal and rejuvenate. Plus, it can dry out skin tags, eventually causing them to fall off.

7. Make a Baking Soda Mixture

This method will work for you if you have a wart or skin tag on your hand or foot. You will mix four tablespoons of baking soda into a large bowl of water. Then, place the affected extremity into the water and let it soak for 30 minutes.

When you remove your hand or foot from the bowl, make sure you let it air drain. This works because of the anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, and antiseptic properties found in baking soda.

It naturally exfoliates the skin and helps dry up the affected skin. Plus, it destroys the skin tag’s or wart’s structure, helping with permanent removal.

If your wart or skin tag is located in a different area of your body, you can do a similar method. Make a paste out of the water and baking soda and apply it to the affected area. Leave it on the skin for 30 minutes before wiping it off.

8. Apply Fig Juice

All you will need for this home remedy is a couple of drops of fresh fig juice. Apply it to the wart or skin tag, and let it dry while being absorbed by the skin. Do this three times each day for two weeks, and you will notice a difference.

The fig juice contains high amounts of antioxidants and antiviral properties. This helps replenish the skin, remove imperfections, and fight potential viruses infecting the area. Plus, it is beneficial to remove them permanently because it helps stop the cause.

9. Cover It in an Aspirin Mixture

This method involves much prep work, but it is well worth it. Crush up 4 aspirin tablets and add enough water to make a paste. This will only require a few drops of water.

Then, cover the wart or skin tag with the mixture. Put a band-aid over it and leave it overnight. This works because the salicylic acid in Aspirin can treat skin issues quickly and safely.

10. Apply Castor Oil

This method can take up to a few weeks, but it effectively removes warts and skin tags. Apply pure castor oil to the affected area and let it dry naturally. If you do this a few times each day, the antioxidants and antiviral properties will help remove these issues for good.

Caring for Your Skin After You Remove Warts or Skin Tags

After removing warts and skin tags, there is a slight chance an infection can occur. If bacteria get in the area, you may experience some complications. While this is rare, it is still best to be safe and take the proper precautions.

Ensure to wash the area well and keep it clean until it fully heals. You could also apply something with antibiotic properties, such as aloe vera juice or tea tree oil.

Final Thoughts on How to Remove Warts and Skin Tags Permanently

As you can see, many home remedies help remove warts and skin tags. These methods will not only help remove them, but they will prevent them, as well. You likely even have a few of the ingredients at home already.

See your dermatologist if you don’t succeed at removing warts or skin tags at home. These home remedies work for some people but not for others. They are, at the very least, worth a try!

You can try multiple methods simultaneously to get better and quicker results, too. Watch for skin irritation and stop that method if you notice anything unordinary. Also note that you should not try these treatments near your eyes, anus, or genitals–leave these areas to the professionals.

Remember, it isn’t necessary to remove warts and skin tags. If they don’t bother you, rest assured, knowing it is safe to leave them alone. However, if they cause irritation or don’t like them, these methods may work for you.

Surprising Study Shows Half Of Singles Don’t Even Want to Go On A Date

December 4, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Are you single, and you don’t feel like you want to go on a date? You are not alone in that line of thinking.

There was a time when being single meant being on the prowl for that special someone. People had a date lined up every weekend, hoping someone would sweep them off their feet. It was normal, and maybe even expected, that a single person was looking to pair up with someone.

Those days may be over. As more people feel enlightened and motivated to achieve great things in life, they are finding it less important to have a partner. Suddenly, being single is as accepted as being in a relationship. No one even thinks twice about being single for an extended period anymore. It seems Cupid might be out of a job soon.

In a recent study, some light was shed on why many people stick with the single life. It seems that recent social trends and technology are making it harder to date. It’s resulting in single people not wanting to go on dates.

The Study Done by the Pew Research Center

Pew Research Center conducted the study in October of 2019. There were 4,860 participants in the survey, randomly selected across the United States. While participants were selected via phone and mail, the survey was conducted online. Participants were selected from various backgrounds based on age, race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, and political party.

The study involved several questions about dating, which makes dating harder, and their dating preferences. Some of the results were as expected, while others were quite surprising. The dating scene has completely evolved over the last few decades.

Factors That Make Dating Harder These Days

Around half of the participants indicated that dating had gotten more challenging in the last decade. This was true for men and women, but more women indicated that it’s harder than men. That’s part of why online dating has become so popular – it takes some pressure off trying to find people to date.

One of the most significant factors that make dating harder these days is the #MeToo movement. The study indicated that around 65 percent of men don’t know how to behave on dates with women in the era of #MeToo. The problem is that women vary so much across the board with what is acceptable, and men have no clue what to do or how to go about doing it.

Another factor that makes dating harder is finding someone looking for the same type of relationship. Over 50 percent of participants indicated that this factor is a problem. People define relationships differently, and they have different approaches to beginning one.

Trying to date someone who does not indicate wanting to take the relationship to the next level can be frustrating. That is why it’s important to discuss where the relationship is going early in the process so no one’s time is wasted. Unfortunately, that’s where many potential relationships end, and then you have to start over with the dating process.

Navigating Differences Can Be a Challenge When Dating

While most participants actively looking to date were okay with dating people of different races, many other criteria were dealbreakers. Since people are so different from each other, this can make dating a challenge as you come across qualities that you absolutely will not deal with. In many cases, that is why the relationship never moves forward.

Location and finances were a big deal for survey participants. When asked if they would do a long-distance relationship, they responded about half and half. The same went for dating someone with a significant amount of debt. Most participants, 97 percent, would date someone who made significantly more money than they did, while 86 percent would date someone who made significantly less.

It’s okay to have standards. However, being too picky might cause a person to miss out on someone who would make a great partner. If people could learn to compromise a little more, they may find dating easier.

Why Singles Are Less Inclined to Date These Days

The study indicated that half of the participants did not seek a committed relationship. When half of the available people are not looking, this can put a big dent in the dating game. You must go into the game knowing that one out of every two dates isn’t going to turn into anything. Those are tough odds.

The reasons that singles aren’t looking to date are interesting. Societal norms have changed from what they used to be, so being attached is no longer a priority. In fact, every year, the number of single people in the United States increases. However, it’s not just an American problem. Globally, the marriage rate decreases every year in many countries.

One of the biggest reasons people opt to stay single is that research into being single reveals more ways that single people are happier. No one wants drama in their lives, so it makes sense that scientific research proving the happiness of a single life is affecting people’s opinions on relationships.

One of the big things that research reveals is that single people like being able to do what they want to do without compromise. Dr. Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., social psychologist and author, stated the following:

“A happy life, a good life, is not just about love, not even the most expansive kinds. We humans also crave autonomy and mastering and purpose and meaning. Single people have that autonomy. They are in charge of their own lives.”

As people work harder and harder to achieve goals, especially career goals, it’s easier to maneuver in the ways they need to. If they need to move to a new city for a promotion, they can do it. If they want to make a significant purchase, they don’t have to consult anyone else before deciding.

Two More Reasons People Stay Single

In the previous section, autonomy was discussed. However, there are plenty of other reasons that single life has become so attractive to such a large population. Here are two popular reasons people are staying single.

They Are Content with Friends and Family

Society tends to push dating and marriage hard because being single means being lonely and unhappy somewhere along the line. This could not be further from the truth.

In a study published in the “Journal of Social and Personal Relationships” in 2015, it was shown that single people have more of a social life than married people. They spend more time with their friends and family and feel less isolated. Dr. DePaulo said that single people tend to keep in touch with distant relatives more than people in a relationship or marriage.

They Feel Disappointed by Past Relationships

Sometimes, people are so scarred by their past that they have no desire to be in a relationship. This can be good or bad. It’s good because they want to focus on themselves and find their happiness again. It’s terrible because they’re essentially making future partners pay for the mistakes of past partners.

In this case, they recognize they are not ready to be in another relationship. Depending on how bad the past relationship was, they may never be ready for another relationship. At least this way, they are not leading a person on only to let them down later.

Final Thoughts on the Study and the Staying Single Trend

The research done by the Pew Research Center researchers is exciting but not exactly surprising. We live in an age where people are in their little bubble. The way the world is set up, you do not have to interact with people very much to get through life.

Technology is playing a role in why people want to remain single. We have never been more connected, but somehow, we’re all still so far apart. It’s becoming the norm, and dating isn’t evolving fast enough to match technology. Sure, there is online dating, but most online daters never meet in person.

Everything changes eventually, so there is a possibility that dating will become as integral as it once was. For now, being single is the trend.

Financial Advisors Explain How to Avoid Fighting About Money With Your Partner

December 3, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Are you always fighting about money with your partner? It’s a common argument that’s been occurring since women became liberated enough to have jobs and the freedom to make cash for themselves. Finances can make or break a marriage, but you don’t have to allow it to define your union.

Who can forget the classic show from the 1950’s I Love Lucy? Everyone loved this redhead because of her fiery and tenacious nature and her classic schemes with her best friend, Ethel. While Lucy was a force to be reckoned with, one thing that she seemed to have a problem with was money.

It wasn’t uncommon for her or Ricky to disagree because she overdrew her checking account or spent lots of cash on frivolous purchases. It seemed she always had some explaining to do for keeping things from her husband about their finances.

Times have certainly evolved since that period. Women go to work, hold down full-time careers, and make just as much money as men. It’s only natural that they want to spend money and have a say in the household finances.

Ways to Stop Fighting with Your Partner About Money

Did you know that fighting about money is one of the most common arguments that couples have today? A study found that three-quarters of the American population is stressed about finances, so it’s only natural that it would roll over into their private lives.

Writer and counselor Melody Wilding, LMSW, concurs, citing arguments over finances, says it is “one of the biggest sources of relationship problems — and it can be the toughest to resolve.”

So how can you stop all the fighting about money and quit putting so much stress on you and your significant other? Here are a few ways to help.

1. Pay the Bills Together

In past decades, one person handled all the bills, and the other person didn’t know what was going on. Today’s couples pay the bills together.

When everyone works together, there is no reason for an argument because someone didn’t know what was going on. Transparency is the key to keeping fights to a minimum. If one person does handle things, then they should always keep their partner in the loop.

2. Work from A Budget

Many people find themselves fighting about money because they are spending more than they can pay. Create a budget and live within those means. Try to make the budget realistic so that there is no constant need to borrow from one pot to fill the other.

When you can clearly see what is coming in and going out, it can help put spending into proportion.

3. Hold Financial Meetings

Holding a financial meeting with your partner isn’t high on anyone’s list of things to do, but it’s an essential part of managing finances. You can make projections on your bills for the next year, but they will change by next week.

There are always tons of unforeseen financial events that will pop up, and you must have a reserve and a plan on how to handle them. Keeping both of you in the loop will strengthen your union and keep you from fighting about money.

4. Make Sure Each Person Has A Spending Allowance

It’s not uncommon for one person to hog all the money while the other gets in trouble for buying a burger on the way home from work. There must be an equal amount of money that is allotted for spending by each person. If you work hard and are responsible, there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself a little treat now and then.

5. Discuss All Major Purchases

You’re at home preparing dinner, and you get a call from the dealership. Your husband is there buying a new car. You had no clue that he would trade in his old vehicle, so you are instantly angered by this transaction.

The dealership needs you to come down and sign because he couldn’t get the car without your income on the application. Do you see how a scenario like this can cause a significant issue? Not only was there no communication about the car, but there was nothing said about the financial preparations to make such a purchase.

While you don’t have to discuss every little thing you buy, you should at least limit the dollar amount on items that need both parties’ approval. Realistically, any purchase over $200 should be discussed. When it comes to buying houses, cars, boats, or recreational vehicles, then it’s a given that both must approve.

6. Use A Financial Software Program

Gone are the days of using an old-fashioned ledger and a pencil to keep track of all your expenses. You need a system to make things work. A good accounting program can help you to stay organized.

These programs also allow you to print reports so that the other person can feel involved. Periodically, give your spouse reports to see how much is going to groceries and gasoline, and everything else you spend. There will be less fighting about money when everyone is on the same page, plus having these reports can help you put your spending in check.

7. Skip the Parent-Child Dynamic

It’s both of your money, and one person doesn’t have to scold or punish the other one for overspending. When you create a parent-child dynamic, then you are setting yourself up for some significant arguments. Did you know that financial problems are the second most common reason for divorce?

8. Switch Sides

It’s easy to be the dictator and lay down the law regarding finances. However, it would help if you switched sides occasionally to see how the other person feels. Do you seem like a strong arm that is a bully where finances are concerned?

If you wonder why there is so much fighting about money, then you should mentally switch sides to see how you can change things.

9. Talk to a Financial Advisor

Talking to a financial adviser is a great way to start any union. You can lay out the incoming versus the outgoing, and they will tell you what your situation looks like. You want to save for retirement, vacation, and have some reserves for a few investments.

Getting an expert’s opinion is valuable, especially when you’re starting as a couple.

10. Use Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements

Though it was often found offensive to make such agreements, prenuptial agreement Illinois have become commonplace. Counselors know that financial problems also end relationships. Since 41 percent of all first marriages and 60 percent of all second marriages end in divorce, it’s wise to prepare. These documents give couples a reason to lay the finances on the table, providing clarity and peace of mind for the future.

Doing this before a wedding or partnership is essential so that everyone is clear on financial standings and obligations before and after the union.

11. Use Automation

If you want to fight less, then you should use automated services for bill pay and such. Did you know that most banks and lenders offer automatic payments for free? When you have things prescheduled, you don’t have to worry about who is paying what and what didn’t get paid. Why mess with something when you can let the power of automation take control?

12. Don’t Keep Things From Each Other

One of the biggest reasons why people fight about money is that they keep things from each other. We’re not talking about $100s here or there as some people hide credit cards or spending problems and drive the other person in debt with them. When you’re married, your credit can be enhanced or broken by your spouse.

When you apply for joint credit, not only does the amount you finance go against your debt-to-ratio, but it also affects your payment history. Many people have their credit scores tank when the other party starts doing things without their knowledge. If you want to keep the fighting to a minimum, you must be transparent about your spending habits and accounts.

Final Thoughts on Arguments Regarding Money

When it comes to explosive arguments, finances hold the top position among couples. Other than infidelity, nothing can bring a couple closer to the brink of ruin than money. In any union, transparency is the best policy.

Since it takes two parties working to make ends meet, both must have a say in the household finances. If one person handles the bills, the other person should at least be allowed to know what’s going on. It’s essential to have small financial meetings each week so that everyone knows where you stand with money.

Never make significant purchases without talking to one another, and always stay on a budget. While money is challenging to manage, both parties have some funds to buy the things they want. It’s no fun to work 40 plus hours a week and not even be able to take yourself out for a treat on occasion.

If you want your union to be happy and blessed, then you will do everything in your power to prevent fighting about money. When you openly communicate with each other about your finances, you can work together and not against one another regarding your bills.

These 15 Quotes Will Help You Feel More Hopeful

December 3, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

When you feel like you need to be more hopeful, it can be hard to figure out how. These quotes on hope will help you find your hope again, however, and encourage you to keep going. With these quotes, you will remember why having hope is so important for your life.

You will be able to work toward your dreams and learn from your mistakes. Plus, having hope will help you get through unexpected obstacles.

Since things do not always work out the way you want them to, having hope is essential. Otherwise, you will get stuck in the hard times of your life, and you will not be able to see a way out. If you feel like you need to be more hopeful, read these quotes, and remember them always.

Fifteen Quotes to Help You Feel More Hopeful

1. “Two words will help you cope when you run low on hope: accept and trust.” – Charles R. Swindoll

As Swindoll explains, accepting and trusting are essential if you need more hope in your life. You have to accept things as they are, but trust that they will all work out for the best.

Keep in mind that trusting that they will work out does not mean they will go the way you wanted. Sometimes, the outcome that is for the best is not the one you desired. Even still, you have to accept it and trust that it is as it should be.

2. “Hope forever tells us that tomorrow will be better.” – Richard Daly

If you have hope, you can rest assured knowing that tomorrow is a new start. It can be a better day despite what happened today or yesterday. If you lack hope, remember this quote and remind yourself that tomorrow will be better.

3. “When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.” – Maya Angelou

Doing nothing will not get you anywhere. Instead, get moving and get involved so that your hope can return.

With work will come the realization that things are moving forward and will get better. If you choose to sit and wallow, however, you will not be able to have hope.

4. “Hope, as it pertains to love, is a good thing because by hoping for certain things such as an extended future with the one you love is made possible.” – John Franks

Sometimes emotions like love can be helped along with a little hope. If you have hope, it increases the possibility of getting what you want. On the other hand, if you do not allow yourself to hope, it may never happen.

5. “We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken.” – John Green

Always remember that you are not broken forever. Even when things seem like they will never get better, remind yourself that they will. If you can remember that you are not irreparably damaged, you can find hope again.

6. “Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.” – Steve Maraboli

If you plant these seeds in your life, you can expect great things to grow from them. By planting seeds of hope, you will have more hope as time goes on. Plus, you are increasing your chances of achieving what you are hoping for.

7. “Hold your head high, stick your chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes, but morning comes. Keep hope alive.” – Jesse Jackson

Stay strong, no matter what happens in your life. Bad things will happen, but things also always get better. Remind yourself of this when things get hard and keep moving forward and working for more.

8. “If we expect change, we must act on our hope every day until we have accomplished what we wanted.” – Christopher Goodman

Think of what you hope for most and work toward that goal. If you want to have hope, you have to acknowledge what you want and determine what you have to do. Only when you are working toward something will you have the hope of it becoming a reality.

9. “I am not an optimist because I am not sure that everything ends well. Nor am I a pessimist because I am not sure that everything ends badly. I just carry hope in my heart. Hope is the feeling that life and work have a meaning. You either have it, or you don’t, regardless of the state of the world that surrounds you. Life without hope is an empty, boring, and useless life. I cannot imagine that I could strive for something if I did not carry hope in me. I am thankful to God for this gift. It is as big as life itself.” – Václav Havel

You do not have to consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist. Instead, trust that everything works out the way it was supposed to. Keep hope that life will get better because, without hope, you will have nothing, as Havel explains.

10. “Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.” – Jonas Salk

Dream big and imagine what your life could be like if you achieved all of your goals. Then, be courageous and start working toward that life, no matter how scary it may be to begin. This is when you will have the most hope because you will have begun the process to get there.

11. “It’s always something, to know you’ve done the most you could. But, don’t leave off hoping, or it’s of no use doing anything. Hope, hope to the last!” – Charles Dickens

Try your hardest, and if things do not work out, remain hopeful, and continue working hard. Your hard work will make you feel better, and you never know when things will work out. If you have nothing to hope for, there will be nothing to work for, so always have hope.

12. “Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” – Helen Keller

Hope can open your eyes to so many things. You will be able to do more than you ever thought possible. If you just hold onto hope and keep working toward your dreams, you will achieve them sooner than you thought.

13. “You may not always have a comfortable life, and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once, but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.” – Michelle Obama

Things will not always be perfect, and, inevitably, seemingly bad things happen sometimes. Even still, the things that you do each day are changing the world a little at a time. With hope, you can make a bigger difference than you ever thought you could.

14. “Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope, and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.” – John F. Kennedy

When bad or worrisome things happen, hope can grow from them. Since you can change anything, obstacles should only show you that you are getting closer. Get through those hard times, and you will be allowing yourself to move forward positively.

15. “No matter the number of times you fail, you must be determined to succeed. You must not lose hope. Don’t stop in your storm. Don’t give up so easily.” – Tony Narams

You will not always do everything correctly the first time. To learn, you have to fail every once in a while. So, when failure happens, remain hopeful because it means you are that much closer to succeeding.

To give up hope during the hard times, you will be forcing yourself to stay in that bad stage of your life. You owe it to yourself to get out of that situation and into something much better.

Final Thoughts on These Quotes Will Help You Feel More Hopeful

You will inevitably feel like you are losing hope sometimes. These quotes will help you feel more hopeful during those times in your life and help you regain your stamina. If you can remember these quotes and regain your hope, you will get through the hard times.

Always remember that things will not always be perfect. You will not always get what you want the first time you try it, so keep working on it. Remain hopeful that it will work out eventually and that when it does, it will be at the perfect time.

When you are feeling a little hopeless, remember the encouraging words of these quotes. You are not alone in that feeling, but it is important to get through it and find hope again.

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