What It’s Like to Be in Love With Someone You Can’t Have (And Let Go)

What It’s Like to Be in Love With Someone You Can’t Have (And Let Go)

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There’s no better feeling than to be in love, but what if the person you love isn’t available to you? What if they’re engaged to your best friend, or perhaps you are in love with your boss and know it would be a disaster to have a relationship at work? Sadly, many people fall head over heels for someone who is already involved in a relationship.

Being around this person is increasingly difficult as you try to conceal your emotions. You do everything within your power to hide your feelings, but you can’t help but hope they feel the same way. Why are you torturing yourself?

Ways to Get Over Loving Someone You Can’t Be With

Many people are faced with this predicament, but to be in love and not have them in your life is more than you can handle. So, you would rather have them around in some capacity than to not have them in your life at all. If you find yourself in this position, then here are some ways to help you cope with the emotional attachment.

1. Stay Away from Situations That Are Hurtful

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When you know that the person you’re in love with will be at a specific location, you should try to avoid it. If you go anyway, it’s like committing emotional suicide. Just decline any invitations where they will also be in attendance.

To keep your mind off things, why not binge-watch a new show or go on a date with someone whose heart is available.



2. Spice Up Your Dating Life

It’s a great feeling to be in love, but the only way you will get over one person is to move on with another. Falling head over heels in love is a fantastic journey in life. Stop wasting your time on someone who isn’t emotionally or physically available to you and put your time and effort into someone ready for a relationship.

3. Journal Your Feelings

You want to shout from the rooftops and tell this person how much you love them. Sadly, it’s not always the right choice or even an option. The best thing you can do to deal with the emotional attachment you have to this person is to journal about it.

You will feel much better when you get all your feelings on the outside and put them down on paper. It’s not easy to deal with unrequited love, but there are little methods like this to help you cope.

4. Stop Pretending You’re Okay

It’s okay if you’re not okay, and you don’t have to pretend. If you’ve been dealing with this pain for months or even years, then it can be quite exhausting. You don’t have to wear a fake smile anymore.



If things hurt you, let them know. For instance, if your friend you’re in love with wants to take you shopping so you can pick out a ring so he can propose, then you should decline. Don’t put yourself in situations where your emotions are being trampled. Decline the invite and let them know why.

5. Limit Them on Social Media

There are restrictions and limitation options on your social media pages for a reason. On Facebook, you can take a break from someone without unfriending them. When you’re trying to deal with your emotions, the last thing you want is to see their posts scrolling on your feed.

This is especially true if their boasting about how much they are in love with their partner. To be in love and not have the person you want is a difficult journey, but you don’t have to follow their path to happiness that doesn’t include you. Block them or limit their visibility on your wall.

You will be glad you did this when you don’t have to relive the hurt every time they post. Checking social media accounts to follow someone you love can be an addiction, so it’s best to stop furthering your pain. Plus, they don’t need to know everything going on in your life, either.



6. Rip the Band-Aid Off and Tell Them How You Feel

If you haven’t told this person that you love them, it might be time to rip off the Band-aid and see what they say. It’s better to get things out in the open rather than go around with all the unanswered questions. Perhaps they love you too.

To be in love and not know how the other person feels is torture. Get things out in the open, no matter what the outcome. Just prepare yourself for a complete fall out if things don’t go the way you want. Once you cross that line, it’s hard to come back.

7. Allow Yourself Time for a Pity Party

It’s okay to be upset when you’re falling head over heels with someone who doesn’t feel the same. Allow yourself a certain period to sulk about the issue. It’s better to put a time frame on your emotions rather than to be upset all day.

You could clear out 30 minutes a day for a pity party. Get all your crying, screaming, and feeling sorry for yourself out in the open. Then once the period is over, get on about your day.



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8. Surround Yourself with Friends

To be in love and not be with the person you want is torment, but you can counteract those feelings by having fun with your friends. Surround yourself with people who love and care about you.

Go out on the town, have some drinks, attend a concert, and live life to the fullest. There’s nothing that says because your heart is broken that you can’t keep living.

9. Take on Some New Hobbies

Getting yourself involved with things that pique your interest is a great way to get over your unrequited love. Why not join a bowling league or take on an exercise class? The key here is to keep yourself busy so that you don’t have much time to think about the broken condition of your heart.

10. Limit Contact

While some people can’t imagine them not being around, others want to limit contact to ease the pain. It depends on where you are with your feelings and how strong you are on what you should do. The best thing is to limit contact and walk away.

If one day they become available or are interested in you, then you might be able to revisit those feelings at that time. Otherwise, don’t allow yourself to dwell on the things that cause you pain.

11. Be a Friend to Them but Protect Your Heart

If you’ve decided that it’s best not to tell the person how you feel, then you must be in love secretly. However, there’s nothing that says that you can’t be a friend to them. You might not be able to shut them completely out of your life at this point.

So, do what you can to be in their life in a platonic manner. No one needs to know how you feel, and you can keep that your little secret.

12. Write a Letter to Yourself and Burn It

An old psychology trick to help overcome grief or anger is to write a letter to yourself detailing all the hurt; then you set it on fire. It’s a symbolic gesture that helps you move on. Tell yourself how sorry you are that you became involved in such a hurtful game.

The key is to use this act to forgive yourself for the things you’ve been involved in.

13. Don’t Ask Hurtful Questions

When you do get the courage to talk to this person about your feelings, you don’t want to put him or her in a bad situation. For instance, avoid questions like:

•Am I good enough?

•Will you ever love me?

•What’s wrong with me?

•Why can’t you love me instead?

These questions are counterproductive, and the answers will be hard to give and even harder to receive. Don’t ask things that you’re not ready to hear.

14. Hang with A New Group of Friends

When you know that this person will be in your face continually, it may be time to get a new inner circle of friends. If you can’t stomach the pain of seeing them happily in love with someone else, then you must limit contact. It doesn’t mean you have to cut off all your friends; it just means that you need to open up to a new inner circle to allow yourself time to heal.

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Final Thoughts on Loving Someone You Can’t Have

It’s often been said that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but whoever wrote that clearly didn’t know what they’re talking about. The fact is that you don’t have to beg someone to love you. You want to be with someone who is ready, able, and willing to love in return.



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