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18 Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

May 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Many people strive to show maturity. It involves a level of wisdom, intelligence, and emotional awareness. But, surprisingly, being a mature person doesn’t have all that much to do with age!

Maturity is a valuable trait, and it’s one that you can learn slowly by incorporating certain habits into your life. Here are 18 characteristics of a truly mature person.

18 Traits a Mature Person Displays

1. Kindness and Consideration

Someone mature is often compassionate, as compassion is an indication that you are capable of placing other people’s interests in front of yours. This trait means that you can:

Celebrate the successes of others without jealousy
Learn how to sacrifice in moderation for the betterment of others
Take an interest in the wellbeing of others

2. Maintaining Commitments

Delayed gratification is difficult for anyone who isn’t mature. You need to focus on meeting commitments, even when those commitments may no longer be impressive for you. Here are some examples of engagement found in mature people:

· Meeting Deadlines

A committed person ensures that their work is completed and sent on time or sooner, even if they don’t have the motivation to do it.

· Keeping Promises

Another way to be mature is by honoring your word. If there is someone you promised to meet, make sure you meet them or give them a heads up and proper explanation if you are unable to do so.

· Being Consistent

When taking on commitments, more often than not, they are marathons rather than sprints. This accountability means you need to keep a consistent pace and focus on steady progress over hurrying forward until your passion dies.

3. Emotional Control

Maturity involves reasonable emotional control. Someone who is mature will not be quick to anger, projecting a positive demeanor. This outcome is done by:

· Being Cool

You will be able to appear relaxed and calm if you can control your emotions, and others around you will instinctively relax, too. It’s a prime mark of maturity.

· Having A Solid Emotional Foundation

Mature individuals have an emotional strength that provides a good foundation for their positive thinking. This means they are less likely to be overwhelmed by too-strong feelings, preventing destructive tendencies.

· Not Allowing Anger To Control You

A mature person is in full control of their anger. Though some things can still take them by surprise, they will likely not be easily irritated or discouraged by setbacks.

4. Being Guided By Principle

Principles can help guide an individual in their maturity. The values your principles hold can help point you towards living an honorable and respectable life. Having beliefs helps you with:

Being more proactive instead of reactive as you progress through life
Mastering your emotions
Making decisions, you can be happy with

5. Modesty and Humility

Modesty and humility are often associated with maturity. Your humility allows you to put yourself on the same level as others and understand them better. This means you:

Do not let success cloud your judgment and personality
Will always treat others with respect regardless of their social standing
Will not place yourself on a higher level than to others

6. Applying Knowledge

Maturity often links with intelligence, and intelligence is often associated with the ability to learn from past experiences. A mature person is someone that implements their expertise in everything they do. For example:

They have an awareness of themselves as well as their surroundings
These people can make informed decisions based on the situation at hand
They often have positive thinking and avoid excessive complaining in bad situations

7. Self-Management

Self-management is an essential trait for maturity. Being mature means having the capacity to manage your own life in a self-sufficient manner, under your ability. This involves:

Being able to ask for help in a positive way when needed, without playing the victim
Having the ability to collaborate mutually with others to complete a task
Ensuring that they complete tasks and commitments on time

8. Taking Responsibility

All choices come with consequences, and as a mature person, you should be able to take responsibility for your decisions. This means taking accountability with positive thinking when you are even partially responsible for difficult situations.

But taking responsibility isn’t just about righting your wrongs – it’s also about being responsible for yourself and for those you commit to. All in all, maturity can involve:

Ensuring you are looking after your physical and mental wellbeing
Dealing with the positive results or negative consequences that come with your actions
Not shifting blames onto others

9. Never Taking Advantage Of Others

A mature individual does not let being in a position of power cloud their judgment. They do not take advantage of others, even when it would be effortless for them to do so. As a person with a higher position, a mature person will:

Listen to the opinions of others and consider them instead of going on a power trip
Realize that their perspectives are not sufficient, as that they are a part of a broader world
Learn from others, no matter their position
Never control the people around them into doing things against their will

Don’t allow emotional blackmail be part of your life.

10. Ignorance of Unimportant Criticism and Flattery

Being mature means being able to accept the opinions of others and learn from them. This open-mindedness is because maturity allows you to realize that things are not merely black and white, and nothing is as positive or negative as you may initially believe. The world simply doesn’t work like that!

Mature people don’t allow criticism, flattery, or compliments to sway them because they know that all these issues are subjective and based on individual and unique opinions. They will take constructive critique into account, of course, and will express gratitude for compliments, but they will not allow those things to rule them.

11. Enjoying Themselves

A lot of people incorrectly believe that maturity directly equates to being bland, boring, or continuously neutral. But that’s not true! Mature people know how to have fun and enjoy themselves. They understand that unwinding is necessary. This means that guilt-free, knowledgeable people:

Take time out of their schedules to enjoy their hobbies
Understand when they need to rest
Do not fully book their time with work

12. Self-Acceptance

It is not easy to accept yourself as you are, especially when others keep telling you that you should change. But when you are mature, you embrace who you are, and you are confident about yourself. You will feel comfortable with yourself instead of feeling inferior and wanting to please others by being someone you are not.

There is power in accepting yourself, complete with all your flaws and strengths. A mature person does not only obsess over their faults, instead embraces them and allows their appreciation of their intricacies to drive them to improve themselves and change for the better.

This doesn’t mean that mature people are full of themselves. It merely means that they are confident in their skin and accept themselves as they are. They have no interest in changing who they are to better fit in or make others happy.

13. Knowing Limits

Knowing your limits is a clear sign of maturity. Considering the potential risks associated with your actions and how they may affect you is a mark of a mature trait. This helps in decision making so that you can avoid situations where you bite off more than you can chew. This means they:

They are innovative, but they’ll never force their ideas onto others
Are daring, but are still cautious and do not endanger themselves or others
Do not take unnecessary risks

14. Open-Mindedness

A mature individual is open to looking at things from different perspectives. They strive to understand others and would never judge the people around them based on external factors or first impressions. Open-minded individuals:

Do not label others
Do not automatically exclude people who they don’t understand
Try to see where others are coming from
Strive to bridge the gap between different groups of people
Do not try to apply their perspectives to others

15. Looking Before Leaping

A mature individual would never claim to have all the answers, and that’s why they choose wisdom and forethought over jumping headfirst into all situations. This isn’t to say they aren’t game for risks or adrenaline-pumping events, but it does mean that in cases where that isn’t necessary, they see no point in acting without thinking.

Mature individuals may also consult those with more knowledge before jumping into new pursuits. This means mature people, as they love pursuing further information, are always asking questions – and they are never ashamed of where they get their knowledge from. They would also never claim to know everything, though they will happily share what they know with those who ask.

16. Knowing You Don’t Know everything

Here’s a simple fact – and this ties in nicely to our previous point! – no one knows everything. A mature person can easily accept that fact and is not interested in changing that. Instead, they focus on setting aside their pride and having the willingness to learn from just about anyone, even those who could be perceived as less knowledgeable.

17. Never Using Emotional Blackmail

Excellent and honest communication is a vital skill that every mature individual possesses. A mature person will never resort to using emotional blackmail when expressing their needs to others. Mature people can:

Be assertive with their communication
Convey authority in their words without sounding overly forceful
Be direct and convey all necessary information to others without beating around the book

18. Gratitude

Mature people are always able to find goodness in their life and be grateful for what they have. Armed with the knowledge that there are many other less fortunate individuals in the world, mature people are thankful for what they were born with and for all they can achieve.

As a mature person, you need to learn not to take things for granted. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, instead, be grateful for what you do have and keep that positive thinking going!

Final Thoughts On Some Traits Of A Truly Mature Person

Anyone of any age can be mature. The only thing mature people have in common is their kind, smart, open-minded traits, and with this list of 18 of them, you can begin your path to true maturity.

8 Things Hand Pain Can Reveal About Our Health

May 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

In some cases, hand pain is nothing more than hand pain. Other times, however, hand pain can point to serious health problems. Although we rarely give them a second thought, our hands, which consist of 27 bones as well as numerous muscles, joints, tendons, joints, and connective tissues, allow us to perform a variety of tasks in our day-to-day life.

That said, when these tasks become difficult or painful, it could indicate a problem with our hands, such as carpal tunnel syndrome, for example. Of course, mobility problems and pain involving the hands can also signal something more serious. According to a study published in the International Journal of Cardiology, a slow gait coupled with weak grip strength could be an early sign of heart disease in older adults.

8 Things That Hand Pain Can Reveal About Your Health

Along with carpal tunnel syndrome and early signs of heart disease, stiffness, pain, and mobility problems, painful hands can also point to the following:

1. Arthritis

For many people, painful hands stem from either osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis, the two most common forms of arthritis. And they each impact the hand and wrist in different ways. More common among older adults, osteoarthritis is a medical condition characterized by the gradual degeneration of joint cartilage and the underlying bone tissue.

It is worth noting that an estimated 32 million older Americans are struggling with osteoarthritis, according to a study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). When we are young, cartilage helps cushion the bones in our hands, which allows for pain-free joint movements.

Similar to other parts of the body, as we age, the cartilage in our hands start to degenerate. When this happens, it can cause pain and also decrease the range of motion in the hands.

Rheumatoid arthritis, on the other hand, is an autoimmune disease that can impact the lives of individuals who are young or old. Those who develop this form of arthritis will experience pain and stiffness in their hands due to severe inflammation.

Additional Symptoms Associated With Osteoarthritis or Rheumatoid Arthritis

In addition to painful and stiff hands, symptoms of osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis can also include the following:

Swelling
Small cysts that form on the end of the fingers
Noticeable changes in the appearance of thumb joints
A grinding or grating sensation while moving the thumb or fingers

It is important to note that there are varying degrees of pain associated with osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Those who develop either form of arthritis may experience the following type of pain symptoms:

Pain upon waking up
Dull or burning pain sensations that radiate from the fingers or wrists
Pain after gripping an item or engaging in movements requiring repetitive motion

Treatments for Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis

For those who are struggling with pain and stiffness caused by either osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis, you will be happy to know that several treatments can provide some much-needed relief from your symptoms, some of which include

Prescription and over-the-counter pain relievers
Corticosteroid injections
Anticonvulsants
Antidepressants

Along with these treatments, some individuals have achieved considerable relief from osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis symptoms by undergoing occupational or physical therapy. In severe cases, however, some physicians may recommend surgery to their patients as a way to restore range of motion and resolve pain. According to the Arthritis Association, the two most commonly performed surgeries for those with arthritic hands include arthrodesis and arthroplasty.

2. Gout

Gout is another disease that can impact the hands before moving on to other parts of the body.

According to the Partnership to Fight Chronic Disease, an international organization committed to raising awareness when it comes to chronic diseases and healthcare costs, nearly 4 million people in America struggle with gout. For those who are unfamiliar with this medical condition, gout is another form of arthritis. However, unlike osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis, which are characterized by gradual pain and stiffness, the onset of pain affecting the joints is sudden and much more intense.

Gout generally attacks the joint at the base of the hallux, also known as the “big toe,” first. However, it is not uncommon for it to start in the hands and wrists. Along with intense, excruciating pain, symptoms of gout can include redness, tenderness, stiffness, and a burning sensation.

Treatments for Gout

Some of the more common ways to treat gout include the use of corticosteroids and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications. Additional treatment modalities include the use of colchicine. This particular medication reduces swelling and the build-up of uric acid crystals responsible for pain in the joint affected by gout. According to a study published by MedlinePlus, a part of the U.S. Library of Medicine, colchicine can also prevent gout flare-ups.

3. Lupus

For many people, painful hands may be a sign of lupus. In short, lupus, much like rheumatoid arthritis, is an autoimmune disease. And similar to other autoimmune diseases, lupus is the result of the immune system mistakenly attacking healthy tissue and cells in the body.

According to the Lupus Foundation of America, an estimated 1.5 million Americans are struggling with some form of lupus. Those with the condition often experience pain, inflammation, and swelling of the hands and wrists. Some of the other symptoms commonly associated with lupus include

Thinning hair
Fever
Swelling of the legs
Swelling around the eyes
Pale or purplish fingers
Muscle pain
Pain while taking a deep breath

Treatments for Lupus

While there is, as of the writing of this article, no cure for lupus, there are treatments that can ease hand pain and many other symptoms typical of the autoimmune disease, including

Prescription nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications
Over-the-counter pain relievers
Physical therapy
Occupational therapy
Cold or warm compresses

4. Peripheral Neuropathy

Along with arthritis, gout, and lupus, hand pain can also point to peripheral neuropathy, a condition that causes numbness, weakness, and pain in the hands. Peripheral neuropathy may also trigger the same symptoms in one’s feet. In either case, the condition is usually a byproduct of an underlying health condition, some of which include

Diabetes
Infections
Metabolic syndrome

According to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, more than 20 million people in America are struggling with some form of peripheral neuropathy. Fortunately, there are quite a few treatments that can help ease hand pain and other symptoms associated with the disease, including

Anti-seizure medications
Antidepressants
Neuropathic pain medications
Over-the-counter pain relievers
Prescription pain relievers

5. Ganglion Cysts

For those who might not be familiar with ganglion cysts, they are fluid-filled cysts that appear as a lump on the backside of the wrists. These noncancerous, fluid-filled lumps might be unsightly. However, they do go away on their own. Further, small ganglion cysts are not generally painful.

On the other hand, if they become too large, they can place a considerable amount of pressure on nerves in the wrist/ The growth then can trigger tingling, numbness, and painful sensations in the wrists and hands. Studies show that these noncancerous, fluid-filled lumps occur in 70 percent of individuals between the ages of 20 and 40 and are especially common among women.

6. Stenosing Tenosynovitis

Painful or stiff hands, especially involving the thumb or a single finger, can signify stenosing tenosynovitis.This condition can stem from several underlying health problems, some of which include rheumatic disorder, gout, and diabetes.

Studies show that individuals with stenosing tenosynovitis are unable to move their thumb or fingers in any direction. And this is due to the synovial sheath of the affected tendon being inflamed. As far as treatments, those who are struggling with stenosing tenosynovitis will usually receive corticosteroids, which are injected into the synovial sheath to improve mobility, along with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications for pain relief.

7. Raynaud’s Disease

Raynaud’s disease is a medical condition that can cause tingling and throbbing sensations in the hands and feet. This condition is especially common among individuals with connective tissue disease or atherosclerosis.

Raynaud’s disease also causes blood vessels in the fingers and toes to narrow when they are exposed to cold temperatures. Generally speaking, the symptoms associated with this condition are usually mild and often go away once the fingers and toes become warm again.

8. Hand Injuries

Hand pain can sometimes be indicative of a muscle strain or a possible fracture. Either of these problems can cause swelling and restrict the hand’s movement.

Final Thoughts on Dealing With Your Hand Pain

In summary, hand pain, much like other symptoms, is the body’s way of signaling that something is wrong. That said, if you’re experiencing any of the symptoms detailed in this article, it would be a good idea to be seen by a physician sooner rather than later.

15 Phrases Never to Say to Someone Who is Heartbroken

May 8, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

When someone you love and care about is heartbroken, it’s natural to want to comfort them. However, things you say with good intentions can easily backfire. You’ll mean no harm, but it can seem dismissive, cruel, aggressive, and even uncaring.

Remember, a person in this state is fragile, so you must tread lightly. You may even need to research the best ways to give a pep talk before you give the pep talk. Here are 15 things you should never say to a heartbroken person.

1. “Just forget all about him/her. They weren’t worth your time anyway.”

This statement can come off as dismissive of their feelings. If they could simply forget all about the person, they would do it. After all, no one wants to sit around and be miserable.

Another thing to note is that by telling them that the person wasn’t worth their time, it almost sounds as if you’re telling them they are bad decision-makers. It could make them feel like they can’t make responsible decisions. That can make them feel even worse.

2. “At least you’ve learned a lesson.”

Although you don’t mean anything by this comment to a heartbroken person, it can sound smug. They may take it as you are saying that they deserved what happened to them, or even that they brought the heartbreak on themselves. It’s almost like you’re saying, “I told you so.”

Before making this comment, you should wait until the person heals. This process could take a while, so be patient and supportive. Timing is everything, and they’ll realize that you’re just trying to be a good friend.

Note: For this article, a friend can also mean family members, loved ones, or anyone you’re trying to cheer up.

3. “This will make a good book one day!”

Even if you’re joking, you should avoid saying this to a heartbroken person. The idea of putting their heart break out for the whole world to know about could be like a second round of heartbreak. In fact, the thought of everyone knowing could make them feel foolish.

Of course, you’re not planning to push your friend into writing an autobiography. You’d probably say it sarcastically and even give a little laugh behind it. Unfortunately, your friend won’t be laughing.

4. “Just get back out there and date someone else.”

Your intention is probably to help your friend realize that they’re a great person that plenty of people would love to date them. However, there is a good chance that your friend won’t take it that way. To your friend, this statement sounds dismissive of their feelings.

It may make them think that something is wrong with them for not being able to just “get over it”. The last thing you want to do is make them feel like they are the problem.

5. “Let’s throw a party to take your mind off of that loser.”

Your friend feels like crap right now. They’re sad and probably fatigued. The last thing they want to do is use their last bit of energy to throw on a party dress and makeup.

Your friend especially doesn’t want to be around a bunch of happy people or possibly drunk people who won’t be compassionate to their problem. Sometimes a little peace, quiet, and their best friend’s support are needed.

6. “My breakup was the same, but I got over it quickly. You will too.”

Everyone’s pain is unique. While you may think that you’re empathizing with your friend, in truth, you’re sympathizing with your friend. This distinction means that you understand how they’re feeling, but you don’t share their feelings. Your friend may not believe they’ll get over it quickly. They may miss their former partner. They may even still be in love. Suggesting that they get over it soon because you did is a mistake.

7. “I never liked them anyway.”

You make a big mistake if you mutter this to a heartbroken friend. They’re already handling a lot of emotions, and saying this to them can strengthen their feelings of self-doubt. They’ll wonder why you could see how terrible their ex was, but they couldn’t see it?

If they happen to still be in love with their ex, a statement like this, one can make them feel even more confused. The best thing you can do is to avoid comments criticizing their former partner. Keep the conversation on your friend and your friend’s feelings.

8. “This is the best thing that could have happened!”

For your friend, it sure doesn’t feel like the best thing that could have happened. In fact, there is a good chance that it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to them. Remember that your friend feels bad, not good. Don’t suggest that something that makes them feel this way was the best thing for them.

You should also remember that your friend deeply cared for their former partner. By claiming that the best thing that could have happened was a breakup, you’re invalidating their feelings and their relationship.

9. “You’ll get back together.”

Even if you may think this is true, it’s a bad idea to say this to a heartbroken friend. One of two things can happen, and neither is good. The first thing that can happen is that they’ll think you don’t care about the reason they broke up in the first place. That translates to you not caring about their feelings in their eyes.

The second thing that could happen is that you could give your friend false hope. This thinking is especially true if your friend wasn’t the one who wanted the breakup. It can be cruel to give your friend false hope over a relationship that’s over.

10. “Just cheer up.”

If you want to be insensitive, this is the perfect statement for that. Telling your friend just to cheer up makes it seem as if they’re feelings are ridiculous – like they should just turn off the pain and sadness like it’s a faucet.

No one can turn off pain like that unless they’re suppressing it. That leads to other problems, even physical stress. Allow your friend to express their emotions freely to you for as long as they need to heal completely.

11. “I’m surprised at how well you are handling this.”

No matter how you say this, it comes off as an insult, especially when someone is feeling very emotional. This statement sounds like you expected your friend to be weak. Maybe you had no faith that they could get through this, and you expected them to crumble.

That’s not what you meant when you made the statement, but your friend could take it that way. Try using more supportive phrases like, “you are so strong for making it through this.” You could also wait until your friend is in a more stable mood to bring up how they’re handling it.

12. “You can use this time to focus on yourself.”

You shouldn’t push your friend to focus on anything they aren’t ready to focus on. You may think that redirecting their emotions will help them – and this is true to a certain extent. However, they must be ready to focus on something else without you pushing them. It needs to be their choice.

Of course, you don’t want to watch them focus on their pain because you care about your friend. Use this time to be supportive without being pushy.

13. “You’re more fun when you’re single.”

While this might be a simple compliment, it’s one that can easily backfire. By saying this, you’re implying that your friend was not fun when they were in a relationship. They may even take it as you suggesting that they were a bad friend.

It’s okay to talk about the fun things you can do together now that your friend is single, but timing is everything. You need to wait until your friend heals from their heartbreak. They need to be completely ready for the single life before diving headfirst into it.

14. “Everything happens for a reason.”

This statement isn’t harmful. However, it’s not something that people want to hear at their lowest point. They’re hurting, it sucks, and they don’t care what the reason is. At this moment, they can’t see past their pain.

In fact, this statement might make your friend angry. What reason could make this amount of heartache acceptable? Your friend isn’t at a point of being reasonable, so there is no need to bring up that idea until they’re feeling better. It could take a while, so be patient.

15. “It could be worse.”

Life could always be worse. Everyone knows this, but there is a time and place for everything. When your friend is heartbroken and dealing with a well of emotions, they may not be handling them well. So don’t remind them that they could feel worse. That’s the last thing they need to hear.

Instead, talk about positive things that can happen, but don’t say that they can happen because their relationship ended. Generalize what you’re saying and be gentle about it.

Final Thoughts About Being Careful of What You Say When Someone is Heartbroken

Finding the right thing to say to someone heartbroken can be challenging. You want to comfort them, but because their emotions are running high, there is a possibility for a lot of statements to be misconstrued. Be sure to avoid the 15 comments above. Be supportive, kind, and when your friend is ready, they’ll let go of their pain.

5 Ways to Detox an Unhealthy Relationship

May 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

You just realized that you need to detox an unhealthy relationship in your life.

Finding yourself in an unhealthy relationship can be mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. Many well-intentioned friends love to give advice. Some people might just tell you to pack your bags and just get out of there.

Still, others might suggest taking a break. They might advise you to relax for a bit so you can come back to things with a fresh mind and perspective.

Not all relationships are salvageable. But there are a few ways you can help clear your head, calm your emotions, and see things from a new perspective.

Know the Difference Between an Unhealthy Relationship and an Abusive One

It is critical to note there is a difference between a relationship that is just unhealthy and an abusive relationship.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you should focus on getting yourself out of the situation by whatever means necessary.

Purely abusive relationships generally can not be fixed, as the other person feels a need to be in a place of power. Thus, working out those issues would mean giving up that power they have over you.

Escaping an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult due to the manipulative nature of those partners who enjoy physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing others. If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, seek help and guidance from close friends and family. If necessary, seek professional advice.

Leaving an abusive relationship is generally only the first step, though. Prepare yourself for a lengthy healing process. Don’t let your struggles define you and use them to push forward.

5 Ways to Detox From an Unhealthy Relationship

Here are five ways you can detox from an unhealthy relationship. These tips are handy whether you’re trying to salvage it or if you need an emotionally reset after ending things.

1 – Take Some Time For Yourself

Despite the common assumption that every couple has to be joined at the hip, sometimes couples can get too much of each other. This fact is exceptionally accurate in unhealthy relationships where one person is very dependant on the other.

Worse yet, you see this in codependent relationships. That relationship is where neither feels they can stand on their own without the other. If you feel like you’re in a smothering relationship where you can’t seem to breathe, it might be time to take some time away for yourself.

Try meditating–science proves it has a very therapeutic effect. It helps to clear your head and rejuvenate your body as you escape from all the stresses that come with social interactions.

Here are some solo activities that can help refresh your spirit:

Traveling to a new, inspiring place
Watching your favorite movie to unwind
Treating yourself to a fresh, hot cup of tea while you think
Engaging in some pampering self-care
Calming exercise, such as yoga or stretches

Even in a healthy relationship, you should take some time for yourself can be a healthy way to recharge.

2 – Focus on Your Physical Health

When in a toxic relationship, your mental and emotional health can take a massive turn for the worse. Here is what many people don’t realize.

There is a connection between mental health and physical health. So as one deteriorates, it’ll have a noticeable effect on the other. You might notice a lack of appetite, a more sedentary lifestyle, or even just overall lethargy as nothing seems appealing anymore as your mental health declines from the effects of the relationship.

Mental health and stress can also trigger certain habits, which can cause physical problems as well. Eventually, your overall health will be in decline, not just your mental or emotional health.

Therefore, prioritize your physical well being by getting out and exercising, eating right, meditating, and setting a stable sleep schedule.

3 – Celebrate The Small Victories

The negativity that comes from being in an unhealthy relationship can sometimes feel oppressive. It might get to the point of being all-consuming and seeping into every aspect of your life.

Keep yourself from falling into a hopeless depression. It’s important to celebrate your victories in life, no matter how small.

It’s essential to feel good about yourself and your achievements. So if you’re having trouble seeing the positives in life or your self-worth, start small. Whether it’s finishing that home improvement project, turning in that looming school assignment, or even something as mundane as just getting out of bed before noon, celebrate it. Then, reward yourself for your job well done.

This positive reinforcement can do a lot to help combat the depression and misery that often come along with toxic partnerships. And the pat on the back gives you the motivation to push towards meeting your relationship goals. You’ll find the strength to move forward with your day to day life despite how bad things get.

4 – Enjoy Some Good Company (and Maybe Some Food)

Sometimes simply being in good company can help lift your spirits and help you forget your troubles. And when you pair good friends with nourishing food, you’ll find an ideal escape.

Reach out to those close friends who you can just relax and be yourself around. Find people who you can talk to about your problems comfortably without having to worry about backlash. Surround yourself with those with whom you can just unwind with to forget all your unhealthy relationship.

A change of pace and getting away from your partner for a little while can provide some relief and help calm your emotions a bit. Call up some close friends and organize a get-together, either out in public doing something fun or at one of their homes for some nice peace.

Food also does wonders for your emotional state. There’s a reason people tend to eat more when upset. The taste of good food activates the brain’s pleasure sensors, releasing dopamine, and helping to improve your overall mood.

This is especially true of sweets and chocolate, as it is loaded with antioxidants and acts as a natural stress reliever. Getting out to eat will also help give you a nice change of scenery and a change of pace. You won’t have to cook or clean, and getting out of the house and away from your partner for a bit can be a great way to detox from the relationship, even if only for a few hours.

Take a night to forget about eating healthy, call up some of your closest friends, and splurge on a nice dinner out. Between the food and the company, you will feel much better by the time the night is over.

5 – Finally Have That Much Needed Talk

Sometimes you do need to just get everything out in the open. If nothing fixes an unhealthy relationship, it might be time to confront your partner.

Make sure you create an ‘honesty zone,’ setting up ground rules that you both be open and honest with each other. Then, begin talking it out.

Expect conflicting paradigms and mindsets, arguments, disagreements, and opposing ideas. But despite how heated things might get, don’t stop until you address your concerns. Assess what part you both play in the relationship and work out a solution to the problem together.

Sometimes the source of an unhealthy relationship is nothing more than a difference in expectations. Having an honest talk with your partner can help realign your expectations. And, you ensure neither of you is placing unfair or unreasonable expectations upon the other.

Discovering what each of you is looking to get out of a relationship and what role you both play can help solve a lot of core and fundamental problems with the connection. It can also give you a better idea of how compatible you are with your partner.

Not every relationship is salvageable. But after having a long and honest conversation with your partner, you’ll be able to see what things can be fixed, and what aspects will be permanent struggles in your relationship.

Final Thoughts on Being in an Unhealthy Relationship

Many things can cause a toxic relationship. These things can range from a conflict of ideas about what a relationship should be and the roles each party should play, to simple misunderstanding the wants and needs of the other person.

Using these five tips, you can spend some time working on yourself, boost your confidence, and evaluate your relationship as a whole. Only you can figure out what is the best course of action for yourself. Taking some time away from the partnership can help you see things more objectively, and help you decide whether things are worth saving or merely letting go.

The right choice depends on the circumstances and your personal feelings on the matter, so take advice from others with a grain of salt, explore and examine your feelings and thoughts on the relationship, and decide for yourself what you want to do.

Research Reveals How Exercising Too Much Can Make You Gain Weight

May 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Daily activity is a positive, right? As it turns out, you should strike a healthy balance between a sedentary lifestyle and exercising too much.

According to a study published by U.S. News and World Report, 40 percent of the U.S. population is considered obese. In essence, this means that a significant number of Americans have a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher. This BMI puts them at risk of developing a variety of chronic diseases.

Some of these diseases, according to a separate study published by the National Institutes of Health, include fatty liver disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, joint disease, kidney disease, and certain cancers.

While these findings may sound grim, there is a bit of good news. Many individuals who are struggling with obesity are making it a point to adopt a healthier lifestyle, which includes regular exercise.

To that point, a study published by statista.com, an online resource for statistical data, market research, and business intelligence, new gym memberships in America increased by over 30 percent between 2000 and 2017.

Indeed, many individuals are starting to recognize just how much of an impact being obese can have on their health. And many are turning to regular exercise to shed unwanted pounds, improve their health, and increase their life expectancy.

Can Too Much Exercise Do More Harm Than Good?

When it comes to exercise, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Of course, this is not to dissuade those who have chosen to lead a physically active lifestyle as doing so offers many health benefits. Indeed, you’ll enjoy a reduced risk of developing joint problems and multiple chronic diseases.

That aside, it is worth noting that a surprising number of Americans are addicted to exercising. Indeed, much like illicit substances, some individuals achieve a euphoric high through exercise. And to that end, they develop an addiction that invariably gives way to overtraining syndrome. For those who are not familiar with overtraining syndrome, it comes from a maladaptive response to exercising too much without achieving an adequate amount of rest.

Some of the more common signs of overtraining syndrome, also known as overexercising, include the following:

Irritability
Insomnia
Agitation
High blood pressure
Restlessness
A rapid heartbeat

When Exercise Goes From Being a Healthy Habit to a Life-Altering Addiction

Studies show that an estimated 3 percent of gym-goers admit to having an exercise addiction that leads to them exercising daily and spending hours on end at the gym. Those who do not have a gym membership admit to spending an inordinate amount of time working out at home.

It is worth noting that exercise addiction is not officially included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a publication for the classification of various mental disorders.

Nonetheless, if not resolved, it is an addiction that can eventually give way to mental health disorders that do meet the criteria for such a classification, some of which include anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, and depression.

What Drives Some Individuals to Exercise Too Much?

In many cases, the decision to exercise excessively stems from an addictive personality. And those who engage in this type of behavior often view it as a healthier and better way of dealing with stress and negative emotions compared to drinking alcohol or abusing drugs. Many have even gone as far as to say that excessive exercising provides them with a natural euphoric high.

Additionally, some individuals also fall victim to societal pressure. Indeed, they believe that if they exercise enough, they will be rewarded with the perfect body.

Read how poor diet links to poor sleep quality.

Exercise Addiction Among Athletes

In discussing excessive exercising, it is worth noting that exercise addiction is not limited to casual gym-goers and weekend warriors only. Exercise addiction is common among professional and amateur athletes as well.

To further illustrate this point, we need only take a look at another study published by the National Institutes of Health. According to the study, professional and amateur athletes who are exceedingly competitive are at a high risk of developing an exercise addiction. The study goes on to note that exercise addiction is not uncommon among the following athletes:

Marathon runners
Endurance athletes
Triathletes
Crossfit athletes

What Factors Contribute to Exercising Too Much?

The rate of exercise addiction among athletes can be further complicated by technology, with many individuals using smartphone apps to track and document their accomplishments.

Beyond that, many individuals will also post their athletic achievements on social media platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram. This kind of social media sharing not only pushes them to compete harder but also to compare their achievements with others.

As a result, many exercise to exhaustion and allow themselves very little time to rest in-between sporting events. The same applies to the training that they undergo in the days and weeks leading up to those same events.

To put into perspective just how damaging this level of competitiveness is for professional and amateur athletes, it helps to take a look at a study published by the National Institutes of Health. The study noted that between 39 and 48 percent of athletes that consider themselves highly competitive are struggling with anorexia or bulimia. And those who do not have an eating disorder are struggling with body dysmorphia or an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Learn how to help someone struggling with an eating disorder.

How Exercising Too Much Can Lead to Weight Gain

While exercise, coupled with a healthy diet, is an excellent way to lose weight. However, overexercising can have the opposite effect and lead to weight gain. To say that this an ironic turn of events for those who put health, fitness, and athletic competition at the forefront of everything that they do is unfortunate would be a gross understatement. As far as why this happens, it ultimately comes down to stress.

Whether the goal is to achieve a body shape purported to be ideal on social media, to outperform an opposing team in a sporting event, to lose weight faster, or as a way to deal with personal problems, too much exercise can trigger stress. And for those who already lead a stress-filled life, exercising too much could complicate matters even further. Individuals who exercise too much often experience negative consequences.

Consequences of exercising too much:

Intense hunger
Irritability
Insomnia
High blood pressure
Extreme food cravings
High cortisol levels
Low thyroid hormone levels
Insulin spikes

All of these symptoms can cause weight gain and may even lead some to regret having ever decided to start exercising or participating in sports. While this kind of frustration is understandable, it can be avoided by following a sensible exercise regimen. For example, if your goal for exercising is to lose weight, sometimes less is more.

To help put this into perspective, between 2.5 to 4 hours of exercise per week is more than enough to produce moderate weight loss results, according to a study conducted and published by the American College of Sports Medicine. In short, this equals about 22 to 35 minutes of exercise each day. And that is enough to lose weight without getting into overtraining territory.

Further, people who exercise for 2.5 to 4 hours per day can lose up to 1 pound of body fat weekly. That number can equal as much as to 2 pounds weekly if they also consume a healthy, well-balanced diet. Finally, individuals who lose weight gradually are more likely to keep the weight off long-term compared to those who shed too many pounds too quickly.

Additional Ways to Avoid Overexercising

The road to weight loss is different for everyone as we each have a different body type. These body types, which include ectomorph, endomorph, and mesomorph, each hold on to body fat differently.

Of the three, those with a mesomorph body type tend to lose weight the fastest. So if your body type is ectomorph, attempting to achieve the same rate of weight loss goals in the same amount of time as someone who is a mesomorph is a quick way to develop symptoms typical of overtraining symptoms.

And in many cases, those symptoms include weight gain. As far as professional and amateur athletes, health and overall wellbeing should always come first. After all, it is possible to be competitive without overexerting yourself to the point that your health becomes compromised. The same is true when it comes to exercising too much in preparation for a sporting event. This training can negatively impact your performance when the event gets underway.

Research proves that lack of exercise is more harmful than smoking cigarettes.

Final Thoughts on Exercising Too Much and Weight Gain

Regardless of why you choose to lead a more physically active lifestyle, avoid pushing your body too hard. After all, overtraining can result in weight gain and other unwanted outcomes. Lastly, if you believe that you have an addiction to exercising too much or you’re overly competitive, speak with a mental health professional as soon as possible.

10 Traits That Reveal an Aquarius is in Love

May 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

The Aquarius is an extremely creative, intelligent, and analytical soul. This person is amiable and likable, making them someone sure to become a fast friend to just about anyone. Aquarians are perpetually curious and like to know the inner workings of both people and things alike.

To an Aquarian, everything is a challenge, and they have a great sense of compassion, empathy, and humor. They are often well-liked among everyone, from friends to acquaintances to coworkers because of all the positive qualities he possesses.

Understanding The Mind of an Aquarius Woman

Aquarian women always have their own minds. They think outside the box and prefer to play by their own rules no matter what the situation. She stands out from the crowd and tends to follow her heart. At the same time, her Aquarius nature is carefree, daring, and spontaneous. Often, she holds onto a few interests and finds new ones that are exciting and thrilling. As someone who quickly grows bored, this is one strong woman who is always seeking new adventures and new people.

Her relationships often fall victim to this trait, which is something that can lead to problems. She has a long list of acquaintances and very few close, long-lasting friendships. Her love life is often similar, but there may be some exceptions.

Know First: Aquarius is Often Commitment-Phobic

The typical Aquarian woman is difficult to pin down, which means she might have difficulty committing to one man. As a person who is always growing bored and looking for new experiences, she may begin to look elsewhere before committing for a lifetime.

As a result, a man who enters into a romantic relationship with an Aquarian woman may feel as though he is on a constant rollercoaster. It’s fair to expect a revolving circle of friends, adventures galore, and, unfortunately, plenty of arguments as well.

A man who is involved with an Aquarius woman may also go through a confusing array of emotions. One minute, he might feel as though he is his woman’s whole world, sun, and moon at once. And then, in the next, he may feel unimportant and as if he is merely an afterthought. It’s not uncommon for this woman to lose interest quickly in their significant other and end up hurting them.

She has shifting mood swings that can be confusing for her love interest. Indeed, she’ll seem up and happy one day and then dark and depressed the very next day. Aquarians’ hearts can be complicated to win over ultimately. Still, if you are lucky enough to find yourself loving an Aquarius, you will have a woman who is forever faithful and loyal.

Overall, there are ten traits that an Aquarian will exhibit when genuinely in love. If you are dating an Aquarius woman, these are the signs to look out for, and that should make you feel fortunate to have found true love.

10 Traits of an Aquarius Woman in Love

1 – She Can Be a Lot of Fun

Although Aquarian women can often be all thumbs when it comes to effectively communicating their feelings in verbal ways, they can show their love in other ways. For example, she has a wonderful sense of humor and can be very funny and exciting. Plus, she will often go out of her way to make you laugh.

2 – She’ll Try to Speak to You More

The Aquarius woman is more into intellectual conversations and relies on her intelligence often. However, if she is in love with you, she will speak to you even more. Not only will she communicate more often, but she will talk with you about pretty much everything under the sun.

So if she genuinely loves you, she’ll find it easier to speak openly with you and will go out of her way to do just that.

3 – She Will Plan Adventurous Trips

The water-bearer woman is not typical when it comes to revealing her love. She may not be one for romantic dinners at candlelight or a stroll on the beach under a fantastic sunset.

However, she is an adventurous spirit who will enjoy planning incredible trips with you. She wants to make sure you have a fun, exciting time you will never forget and wants to be your best friend as well as your lover. She truly believes that being in love means having fun together.

4 – An Aquarius Will Take Care of Her Finances

Aquarian women are wise with their money and will not freely spend no matter how deeply invested he is in you. She keeps records of her spending and is careful. If she doesn’t buy you the flashiest gifts, you might feel offended. However, she will show you her love in other, more critical ways. She is a smart investor and will assure you that when you’re with her, you will have financial security.

5 – You Need Some Patience to Know if She Loves You

The Aquarius woman is never one who immediately reveals her true feelings to you. You will have to be with her for a long time and have a great deal of patience before she eventually reveals her love for you. This is one woman who never quickly reveals her true feelings until she feels completely comfortable.

6 – An Aquarius in Love is Kind, Sensitive, and Caring

Aquarians are often perceived as emotionally distant and even cold. They are the type who can have seemingly endless acquaintances but very few actual friends. She is never one who quickly reveals her true feelings toward anyone.

However, when she is genuinely in love, she can show that he is compassionate and caring. When she begins to show sincere concern for you and what you like and don’t like, it is a sure sign that she is in love with you.

7 – He Is Better at Expressing Himself in Writing

Loving an Aquarius means you can expect plenty of written messages of love from your woman. Generally, she is better at expressing himself through writing. When you are in a relationship with a woman who is the sign of the water bearer, you can expect to receive many text messages, letters, emails, or even instant messages, letting you know just how she feels.

This signal is a sure sign of their sincere love for you. While she finds it difficult to express her true feelings verbally, she has no trouble conveying just how she feels in written form.

8 – He is Vulnerable When He’s In love

An Aquarian woman typically seems to be very strong and in control of herself at all times. However, when she is in love, it’s a whole different ballgame. When she is truly in love with you, she can appear quite vulnerable.

So if she has already said those three little words, she needs constant reassuring that you reciprocate her feelings both verbally and physically.

9 – He Will Spend More Time with You

An Aquarian woman is usually a flirt by nature, which can make it difficult to discern whether she is serious about you or whether she’s merely casually flirtatious. However, when you are with her, it’s easier to tell if those feelings are genuine.

Of course, if she is genuinely in love with you, she will want to spend as much time as possible with you and will invite you to go out places, including her home, and visit you at home often. You should take this as a sure sign that she is in love with you.

10 – She Will Share Her Deepest Thoughts with You

An Aquarian woman is willing to open up and share their innermost thoughts with you when she is madly in love. In some rare instances, she may even show her deepest emotions and cry in front of you. This is proof that she has deep feelings for you and loves you.

As a whole, an Aquarius woman is often complex when it comes to relationships. She is vulnerable about many issues and can often take things too personally. If she feels hurt by you, she can become cold and detached. Her shifting emotions can hurt the man involved with her unintentionally.

Final Thoughts on Traits That Reveal an Aquarius is in Love

The water bearer has many talents and is steadfast in her convictions, believing that she is always right. She dislikes superficiality and prejudice and prefers to be content. Although she is often viewed as being distant and unavailable, she will always be there for others and give everything to her real friends. Especially, she’ll give her all to the man she loves.

Loving an Aquarius woman is easier than it sounds thanks to her caring, loyal, and dependable nature. Once you are in her heart, you are there to stay.

How to Drain Your Lymphatic System (And 7 Ways to Make It Strong)

May 7, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Your lymphatic system, though independent, is one of the most vital components of keeping you healthy. The primary purpose of this system is to transport a fluid called lympha towards the heart. In Latin, lympha means “freshwater,” which is essential for your entire body.

To understand the benefits of this vital system, you must recognize its function and purpose. It’s a tissue network, not an independent organ like the heart or liver. It comprises vertebrates, which are also part of the immune and circulatory systems.

You will find organs, tissues, and lymphatic vessels within this network. The one you are probably most familiar with is the lymph nodes. These little bean-shaped forms are a vital part of your immunity.

The nodes contain white blood cells that help to fight off disease and infection that enters your body. You will become aware of their presence as they become large, inflamed, and painful when battling an illness. The most sensitive ones are in the back of the neck and the armpits.

Though you may quickly notice the ones around your head, hundreds of these nodes are throughout your body, each of which has a vital role in your immunity.

Why Lymph Fluid Collects?

Lymph fluid is vital to water that must reach the bloodstream. Your lymphatic system will collect any excess of this fluid to put it back where it belongs. This process is imperative because your body has protein and other substances that ooze out of your capillaries, and if it’s not removed, it can cause inflammation.

When the extra fluid pools in an area, it causes swelling. An example you can probably relate to is swollen feet or ankles from sitting at a desk all day. Do you ever experience this common form of edema?

Though the lymph fluid dumps into the bloodstream, it doesn’t use the stream to get where it needs to be in the body. Instead, it depends on the muscles to contract and push it through the proper channels. When you sit in a stagnated position for several hours, the lymph has difficulty getting disbursed.

However, once you get up, your body instantly pushes the fluid to the appropriate destination. Thus, you are draining an area and helping the pooling lymph to move on.

Draining Your Lymph System

Keeping bodily fluids in balance is a difficult job. Consequently, you can help to boost your lymphatic system when pooling occurs by assisting the drainage process. For instance, if your neck is swollen and the lymph nodes are tender, they can be eased with a gentle massage.

The muscles in the area constrict, but they don’t release. The excessive fluid is trapped in this region because the body’s defense system has indicated a foreign invader. By rubbing this area with a soothing motion, you can promote drainage.

Once the fluid starts moving again, you will feel some of the swelling released and the pain. You can also promote drainage by exercise. As you sit at your desk, your feet begin to collect lymph fluid. When you get up and start moving again, the fluid disburses.

So when you move, it helps push your lymph fluid in the right direction. If you’re on a plane or a car ride for several hours, you should get up or out of the car and stretch. A simple walk into a gas station can help to prevent swelling.

Understanding Lymphedema

Have you ever seen someone with one leg dramatically more substantial than the other? It’s often caused by a common problem called lymphedema. You will often see this condition in overweight people or suffer from morbid obesity, though it can happen for other reasons.

Lymphedema is where the fluid collects in a particular area and becomes trapped. Your skin has three layers. Just as you can get clogged skin cells on the surface, you can also get them under the surface. These dead skin cells can clog your lymphatic system and cause the fluid to be unable to drain.

Though lymphedema is often seen in the legs, it can also be seen in the arms. Though skin cells are a common cause of the breakage, it can also be caused by cancer, medication, injury, or an infection. It can become quite severe and requires prompt medical attention.

When you first notice fluid pooling, the skin will be soft and pliable. However, as the liquid collects, the area will become dense and fibrous. You may notice pitting, and the limb will be hard to move as it gains more weight from fluid retention.

The Danger of Lymphoma

Another problem that can occur in the lymphatic system is lymphoma. This system contains the spleen, thymus gland, bone marrow, and your nodes. Since this part of your body is vital for removing impurities, sometimes a malfunction can cause grave danger.

Lymphoma is blood cancer, and it’s divided into two categories, Hodgkin’s or non-Hodgkin’s. Damaged cells begin to mutate and crowd out healthy cells. Since the lymphatic system drains into the bloodstream, it sends cancer throughout the body.

Lymphoma means “water tumor” in Latin, and it was named after Thomas Hodgkin, who discovered this condition in 1832.

Illnesses that Hurt the Lymphatic Structure

Like any other body part, your lymphatic system can feel stress. If this area is feeling angst, you may experience some of the following things:

Aches and pains of the muscles and joints
Sore throat
Having more frequent infections of viruses
Chronic fatigue
General malaise
Arthritis or other symptoms that mimic fibromyalgia
Swollen lymph nodes

Walking through your daily life, you will pick up bacteria from your environment. The bacterium becomes trapped in your body, and the lymph system immediately starts to destroy them.

Unfortunately, sometimes the system does all it can, becoming overloaded and not functioning as it should. During these times, you will experience overload symptoms, as listed above.

7 Ways to Boost Your Lymphatic System

It’s easy to see that keeping your lymphatic system operating fully is imperative. However, you may not know what you need to do. Properly draining it during times of inflammation is a big help, but more things are needed. Here are seven things that can help keep this vital system in shape.

1. Eat an Anti-Inflammatory Diet

There are hundreds of diets, but have you heard of the anti-inflammatory diet? It’s cutting out foods that put any stress on your system. Rather, you need to eat a diet that is rich in the following:

Salmon and other Omega-3 foods
Pumpkin, chia and other varieties of seeds
Olive, coconut, and other unrefined oils
Cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower and broccoli
Add garlic, ginger, and turmeric to your foods
All leafy green vegetables

2. Exercise Often

You need to get that lymph fluid flowing, and it’s hugely beneficial when you exercise for this system. Even if you only have time to do a brisk walk in the evening, it can help you.

3. Self-Myofascial Release

After a workout, you need to try self-myofascial release. This is where you use a foam roller to go over areas of your body to stimulate lymph movement. It helps to repair any tissues hurt during exercise by promoting blood flow to the area needing repair.

4. Lymphatic Drainage Massage

This type of massage therapy helps the body ease lymph congestion. It helps your body flush excess fluid and eases inflamed nodes, muscles, and joints.

5. Get Enough Rest

Your body needs at least seven hours of sleep each night to heal and restore. Your systems won’t work as efficiently if you’re not getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is a real problem that has serious consequences.

6. Incorporate the Use of Infrared Saunas

When you sweat, you expel impurities from within the body. An infrared sauna helps to stimulate sweating to detox the body naturally. Now, it can even be done in your home. It’s very healing and beneficial to chronic pain conditions too.

7. Quit Smoking

If you smoke cigarettes, then you are putting your body under oxidative stress. All the carcinogens that you inhale are toxic to your entire system. While smoking is just one bad habit, many other things can cause stress to your structure.

Final Thoughts on Caring for Your Lymphatic System

Your immunity depends on the lymph system and its proper function. If there is a breakdown within this structure, you will experience things like swelling, chronic fatigue, and even cancer. You must do whatever you can to ensure your lymph health.

Eating right and avoiding harmful habits like smoking cigarettes is just the start. You can be proactive about your lymph health; your entire body will reap the benefits.

Psychologists Explain What Causes Children to Become Narcissists

May 7, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Many people believe narcissists aren’t born that way. Psychologists aren’t sure of the exact cause but think children become this way due to their environment. We have a more in-depth look into what causes children to become narcissists.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Let’s look at the clinical definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This is a diagnosed mental health condition, not just a term to toss around lightly.

Mental health professionals look for signs like the following: arrogance, chronic attention-seeking, manipulation, entitlement, fascination for wealth and power, and hate for criticism.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is hard to diagnose in children or teenagers. At younger ages, humans are constantly growing and changing. The personality traits of a narcissist usually worsen with age.

So just because a person feels the need always to be right or is selfish, those actions do not necessarily mean they have a mental illness.

The Study Of Narcissism In Children

There was a study in Psychological and Cognitive Sciences done by the University of Amsterdam on narcissism in children. This study helped determine children’s self-esteem levels due to parental involvement. The researchers concluded that parental overvaluation predicted narcissism more than the lack of parental warmth.

Psychologists’ View of What Triggers Children to Become Narcissists

Psychologists do agree parental behavior is a contribution to the development a narcissistic child. This doesn’t mean all narcissists are created by their parents. We’ll also examine some people are just born with that personality. Some psychologists believe children are likelier to show these traits when parents praise them. Others think they show these traits because they don’t shower them with love and affection. We’ll dive into both of these views.

1 – Narcissists Have a Need For Approval

There are a few things that can cause children to become narcissistic. It’s normal for children to want their parent’s approval and attention. Sometimes when a child cannot get that attention because the family is very competitive and only values high achievement, the child gets left behind. Sometimes the child only feels loved when they win. If they don’t get recognition for second place, they feel disappointed.

If a child grows up in a narcissistic family, they only see these values. They set up a lifelong pattern of chasing happiness. Other times the child feels defeated as they’re told over and over again that they aren’t good enough. They decide to love themselves and make the world like them since their parents don’t show them enough love.

Sometimes they go as far as to do outlandish things because they crave attention. When they don’t get approval, they push the bar further and further until someone has to “see” them and approve them. It becomes a vicious cycle.

2 – Striving To Be Perfect

When children believe they are only loved and praised when they “win,” they feel insecure. They think they’re only valued when they are unique. The child begins to try to be “perfect” to be seen. They strive for perfection to prove they don’t have flaws. The parent continues to put them down when they don’t get all A’s or score goals in a game.

If the child isn’t good enough in their eyes, they are set in a hypothetical corner of the room. The problem with this is the child loses touch with themselves. They don’t even know who they are at the root. They spend their time trying to perfect every activity instead of concentrating on their development. A child should be able to be imperfect at times.

They cannot always score the winning goal. If a parent doesn’t tell them it’s okay to miss a goal, they’ll always feel defeated.

3 – Parents Who Make Kids the Center Of The Universe

Many parents make their children the center of their universe. This doesn’t mean the child will suddenly become a narcissist. Toddlers go through a stage that many call “The Terrible Twos.” If a toddler is neglected through this stage, they sometimes leave the stage without completing it. This scenario may sound like a dream to a parent, but it’s a negative thing.

They will mature into adults with this same perception of the world. During this stage, they should realize other people are in their world. They understand they need other people, but they want to be independent. This is just a normal stage. Young children need boundaries.

They grow up without expectations if they aren’t allowed to fail and know their limits. They learn these limits by throwing tantrums, screaming, manipulating, and making up emotions. But they might become narcissists if they don’t learn any of these things. They expect the world does revolve around them, and they should get what they want.

The scary part is that this toddler becomes an adult having a tantrum. They think they deserve attention.

4 – Parents Heap on Too Much Praise

Many parents overly praise their children. It’s the world of participation trophies we live in. You can work with your child to ensure they don’t go down this path.

As a parent, you have to help them realize they will fail. It’s okay to fail. Teach them empathy and kindness to others. Show them with your actions. Set boundaries for them daily. There are a million different “rules” on parenting in the world. Some say you praise too much. Some say you don’t praise enough.

The most important thing is to work with your child so they understand you love them, but you must also set boundaries for them.

5 – Child Narcissists Are Often a Parental Mirror Image

Many times narcissists as children learn from their parents. When the parents treat the child as if they are perfect, the child starts to believe it. Praise is lovely to a child, but praising their every move can harm their development. When the parent shows narcissistic tendencies, the child might start to act the same way.

They see the parent showing off, living like the rules don’t matter, and disrespecting people. Children often mirror what they see in their parents. They start to do these same things without realizing it.

6 – Nature Vs. Nurture

Some children are born with a tendency to fell less emotional empathy than others. By nature, they are not as empathetic as other people. They don’t feel much emotion. This doesn’t mean they are a narcissist. It just means they don’t have this emotion as much as others.

Nurture is a learned habit. If narcissists have a mental illness of this sort, they usually are taught relationships aren’t as meaningful. They see people as objects at times because it is learned. They were born with the ability to love, yet don’t feel it because they aren’t shown enough love. This does not mean no child nurtured with love will become a narcissist.

Noticing Narcissistic Traits In Children

It’s important to watch out for ways the child shows narcissistic tendencies.

When they start to act entitled, it’s time to step in and show them who’s boss.
They also may become aggressive.
When they don’t get their way, watch out. Often, the worst parts of a narcissist will show when threatened. Their ego is their protection.
Once you push it, they sometimes crumble under stress.
They do not like it when their self-esteem is damaged. W
hen they feel failure, they often lash out.

The Tough Truth About Narcissists

It can be tough to see these traits in children. Narcissists don’t seem contrary to the exterior. They act how you think they should. A person might seem to have all of the right intentions but always has an angle.

They often deflect blame onto anyone around them. Furthermore, they charm you with their angelic actions, only to show their true selves later. Children and teenagers often show all sorts of these traits because of their age. They might not have a mental health issue but are just everyday kids. It’s important to watch them closely to see if their personality changes positively.

Help For A Children Who Are Narcissists

The problem with narcissistic people is that there is rarely a cure for their behavior. If it’s changed and worked within childhood, they can hopefully let the other positive parts of their personality shine. They have to want to change. Adults must work with children with these tendencies to protect their future social relationships. Many claim it’s almost impossible for them to have intimate relationships because they see affection as a means to an end.

Final Thoughts on Why Children Grow Up to Become Narcissists

Overall, a narcissistic child can change if they get intervention at a young age. Changing an adult’s perspective is much more complicated. Children grow and learn by those that guide them through life. It’s great to praise their strange artwork, but only if you do it to an extent. There’s a balance between neglecting your children and overpraising them.

Narcissists create an unfavorable environment for anyone in their path. Therefore, working with children is essential to ensure their positive and healthy futures.

How to Speak Your Opinion (Without Starting An Argument)

May 7, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Speaking one’s opinion is one of the hardest things to do for many people. Defenses often start to rise when you speak up. It can be tough to speak your mind without arguing, but it’s crucial for any type of relationship to practice a few ways that should calm a brewing storm.

Know The Difference Of An Argument And A Fight

It’s essential to know the difference between an argument vs. a fight.

In a fight, one person usually just wants to win. It’s all about convincing the other person they’re wrong. You don’t want to deal with the issue, but want to get the last word. It’s often all about intending to hurt the other person by presenting your side only.

In an argument, you tend to be fairer. You positively express yourself. You listen to the other person. You try as hard as possible to solve the problem. You try to understand the other person’s perspective. If you only fight, you don’t get to listen to an argument that includes both sides.

13 Tips to Speak Your Opinion With Kindness

1 – Focus On Behavior

It’s so easy when you’re trying to speak your mind to focus on the person’s personality. It’s better to focus on their behavior. If you start throwing around all of their negative tendencies instead of focusing on the action at hand, you have a whole new basket of snakes to handle.

Don’t attack the other person’s perspectives on life or their personality tendencies. If you’re upset, the person is spending too much money, tell them you’re not happy with this exact behavior. Don’t call them lazy and fake. This does nothing but put them on the defense.

2 – Own Up to Your Emotions

Feelings are important, but if you don’t up to them, they mean nothing. Express these feelings in words like “I” rather than “You.” If you state your opinion beginning with wagging your finger, it goes nowhere.

It’s best to let the other person be responsible for their actions while you stay in your lane. You can be accountable for your reactions. You have to own up to your feelings. It’s essential to learn to express these feelings in a positive way instead of pointing fingers.

3 – “I Feel” Statements

Use “I feel” statements instead of flying off the handle with blame. If you start spouting out all of the things that anger you without justification, the other person feels targeted. Explain, “I feel upset that this is happening.”

This communication lets the other person take their guard down because you’re showing vulnerability. Additionally, this helps the other person feel they are not at fault.

When you tell your feelings, the other person is going to open their ears and want to hear more about why you’re hurt. If you just throw daggers at them with all they’ve done wrong, they probably don’t want to listen to it.

4 – Use Concrete Words

The more concrete your words, the better your point gets across without anger. If you use words like “always” or “never,” you’re stating an absolute. These are confusing because you don’t always know the absolute truth.

For example, you can’t make a blanket statement like, “You never listen to me.”

Instead, point out an exact time you felt the person didn’t listen to you. They will be less defensive when you don’t say they always do something or never do something if you’re able to point out an exact time.

5 – Control Your Temper

If you lose your temper when you are trying to speak your opinion, you’ve done nothing. Heated arguments lead to loud words, but not action. People get emotional when they’re angry, but it’s crucial to maintain a calm temper.

Express yourself without losing your cool. State your opinions in a calm way. You might feel your temper flaring, but take it down a notch. Pause and take a timeout if you need to regroup your feelings.

6 – Stick To One Issue

It can be tough to stick to one issue when you’re arguing, but it’s important not to jump around to different topics. If you’re angry about one thing the person is doing, don’t start yelling at them about everything else they do wrong in life. This emotion only puts the person on defense.

Give examples of the one thing on a topic that is upsetting you. You don’t want the other person stuck in a vacuum of all of the things you just told them. Tackle one issue at a time, so no one feels overwhelmed or attacked personally.

7 – Look To Finding a Point of Agreement

The goal of any argument is to get to a conclusion. You need to build an understanding with the other person. You need to learn the way they think. It’s best to find the ideas you agree with in your disagreement. This outcome means there is no real winner.

Look for the things you agree on in the issue, and go from there. If you feel the person is making sense in some areas, start from that area. If you start in the negative space, odds are you will end on a negative note.

8 – Think Of Your Outcome

Remember when you are trying to speak your opinion that you have a goal in mind. Don’t lose sight of this goal. Ask yourself if you just want to be heard, or do you have a specific outcome in mind. You’ll get off track if you just start spouting words.

It’s easier to stick to the issue at hand if you remember your outcome. Remember why you put up this fight. If you just want to be heard with words flowing from your mouth, you’re going to get nowhere with your argument.

9 – Listen Carefully

One of the best things you can do in an argument is to listen to the other person. It’s essential to be quiet and hear what the other person is stating so you can better understand their side. This habit is called active listening. You aren’t just listening to them spout words, you’re hearing what they have to say.

Still, you might not agree with their points. But you’re able to reason when you open your ears and mind. This behavior also creates a positive environment where you can take down all of your defenses and just talk.

10 – Take Turns Speaking

Take turns when you speak your opinion. It’s all about giving and taking in an argument. If you just fight your side, you don’t give the other person a voice. They have the right to express their opinion as much as you. It’s essential to respect the other person on the topic.

Say what you need to say, then let them speak their mind. Don’t interrupt or dominate the conversation. You can agree in areas where you understand their viewpoint, then take the time to give your response. Take a breath after the person speaks so you have a little break to get your thoughts together to speak your opinion.

11 – Show Respect, Get Respect as You Speak Your Opinion

Remember to respect the other person you’re speaking to when you speak your opinion. Even if you don’t like the other person’s actions or beliefs, remain respectful of them. You have to let them talk and sit back to listen. If you want a better response out of them, be reverent in the way you handle them. If you don’t want to argue, you have to let them understand you’re willing to listen to their side. They may not be respectful of your opinion, but take the higher road and listen to theirs.

12 – Ask Yourself: Is It Worth It to Share?

Before you open your mouth to have a discussion, decide if it is worth it. If you need to have a serious talk, go ahead. If you just need to vent and get everyone angry, stop yourself. If you know the conversation is going to go nowhere, stop yourself.

Ask yourself why you want to argue. Ask yourself if you can move in a positive direction. If the argument isn’t worth it, just step away. You cannot always change someone else’s perspective. If you’re only getting into a discussion to create havoc, it isn’t worth the fight.

13 – Understand It Is Normal to Want to Speak Your Opinion

Remember that being able to speak your opinion is reasonable. You need to have discussions about maintaining any healthy relationship. You don’t need to fight, but you need to speak up to keep things in balance. This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” in your relationship or with the other person. It means you’re trying to keep things on track in the correct way. If you never argue, you never express yourself. Things bottle up, and one day you explode with emotion.

Final Thoughts on How to Speak Your Opinion Without Arguing with Others

You don’t have to cause a fight when you try to speak your opinion. You can be heard without shouting. All relationships of all types need maintenance. The only way you can thrive as a person, a couple or a business is to have healthy arguments. Practice these tips regularly to keep your relationships healthy.

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