Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

10 Ways to Raise a Successful Kid With Your Narcissistic Ex

Raising good kids is no easy feat. Children don’t come with manuals, and you must make instant decisions that affect their lives daily. Things are even more compounded when you have an ex in the picture, specifically when they are narcissistic.

Is it possible to raise a child in a split universe where one side is balanced, and the other is off-kilter? A narcissistic ex is a person that thinks of themselves first. Indeed, they will do things that will cause your children great psychological harm. Behaviors like not showing up for a visit, avoiding child support payments, and neglecting responsibilities are commonplace.

Not only did you want to sever ties with this toxic person. However,  you are forever bound to them because of your children. Walking away is hard when they’re always going to be there in some aspect.

Tips for Raising Well-Adjusted Kids

narcissistic ex

You don’t want your narcissistic ex affecting your child’s mental health. To ensure that they are well rounded and can roll with the punches, here are ten things that you may want to do.

1. Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in a Game

It’s not uncommon for ex-lovers to be in a bitter battle over children. However, you must be the bigger person and not allow this battle to take your child’s mental stability with it. Never use your child as a pawn in this dirty game.

Many people use their children to get back at their ex without even realizing it. Some examples of this would be to say, “You can’t see your father because he hasn’t paid his child support this month.” In this instance, the mother tries to make the father look less than in the child’s eyes. She is putting negative thoughts in the kid’s head about the worth of their father.

The child will surmise that their dad didn’t want to pay for their needs, but that may not be the case. Even though all the things she said may be right, it’s never good to use the child to get back at the other party.

Your child is not a messenger, and you should never give them a message to give to the other party. In many instances, the parent who uses the child’s emotions as a vise will be the one that it comes back to bite in the end.

2. Put Your Children in Counseling

Some parenting situations are high-conflict arrangements, and your children can feel the pain of these rifts. You would be surprised how this stress can affect even the youngest child. Kids often feel guilty and like they are to blame for the way their parents act.

A narcissistic ex will make poor choices, but they can also direct their behaviors towards their children. Your kids need someone that they can talk to and a place where they are safe to say how they feel. While they love both their parents, they need that unbiased third party to help them cope.

blame shifting

Here are thirteen ways that sneaky narcissists play tricks to get away with everything.

3. Use the Court System

The court is well equipped to handle high-conflict cases where children are involved. If you find that your narcissistic ex is making everything increasingly tricky, you can ask a judge to appoint a parent coordinator.

A coordinator has training in reducing the stress of the situation, and the most important thing is that they can ease some of the angst your child feels too. An attorney is needed to help get this motion put through the court system.

4. Get a Court Ordered Custody Agreement

When preparing for a custody case, it’s essential to understand What can be used against you in a custody battle? Factors such as your behavior, lifestyle choices, and even social media activity can significantly impact the judge’s decision. Being aware of these elements can help you present yourself in the best possible light and avoid common pitfalls.

The courts will establish a parenting plan that is fair to everyone involved. It’s best to have these guidelines because it gives you leverage should things be challenging. You can file a motion for contempt if the other party isn’t cooperating, which can be beneficial in a custody battle.

5. Never Argue with Your Ex

It’s easy to want to challenge someone who is selfish and thinking about only their needs. However, it would be best if you remembered that your children could feel your stress. Part of raising well-adjusted kids is making sure they don’t see their parents arguing.

Remember, you’re never going to win a battle of words with a narcissistic ex, and you’re just wasting your breath. Save everything for a court battle. Go by the court guidelines, and don’t let them get one over on you. Keep in mind that your children are always watching and listening to what’s going on.

text messages

Never send these text messages to your former love.

6. Establish Firm Boundaries

Dealing with a narcissistic is not easy, and they love to start drama. Their goal is to turn the situation around to make you look like an unstable parent. It would help if you didn’t give them any ammunition for their battle.

Communication needs to be done in writing, like through text or email, so there is always a paper trail. You don’t want them to put words in your mouth. Text messages can be used in court, and this method of communication gives you time to think before you speak. Some people find it’s easier to say things in a text than by phone or in person.

When it comes to communication with your child, there should be set times, and someone should be listening in on the conversation. The narcissistic parent may call and try to invade your visitation time, and this is usually the case when your kid has a phone.

Always leave your emotions out of the situation when dealing with your ex, and stick to the facts. If you get emotional in your dealings, then you are feeding the narcissist’s ego.

7. Keep Records

You never know when your narcissistic ex will take you back to court. These people often forget about the best interest of the child and only want to fill their agenda. Your detailed records can help you to prove to the court what you’re dealing with from this person.

Keep a file with a communication log, any legal papers, social media messages, and texts between you, your ex, and the children. Anything that can be used to benefit your case before a judge, you should keep.

8. Watch Out for Triggers

As your child begins to age and becomes an independent person, the narcissist may have a difficult time processing the feeling that they are not needed. It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to have a flare-up as their child’s growth is a trigger for past feelings of abandonment.

Another common issue is dealing with the narcissistic ex is holiday madness. Just like anxiety and depression is stronger for some around birthdays and major holidays, the same can be said for the narcissistic person. When you learn their patterns, you can take steps to protect yourself and your children from these times of emotional upheaval.

successful kids

Counselors explain the habits of parents who raise successful children.

9. Ask for a Guardian ad Litem

A Guardian ad Litem or GAL is a representative that the courts can appoint for your family. These individuals are to be the voice of the child and to express the best interests and wishes to the court. If you’re in a battle with your ex, then you need this person to advocate and support the child.

A word of caution when dealing with a GAL is that they don’t always view things the way you do. They look at things from both angles and submit a report to the court detailing the child’s wishes and what they feel is the best situation going forward. A GAL is a valuable person that can stand up in court and be an unbiased third-party working for the child.

10. Take Care of You

Make sure to spend the time to take care of your needs. How can you love and nurture your children if you’re continually using all your emotional and physical reserves to fight your narcissistic ex? A custody dispute is one of the most draining battles of your life, and you need to make sure that you don’t fall to pieces.

Don’t feel that getting a court advocate or a Guardian Ad Litem makes you weak. These people help you stay strong as they are there to assist in the battle. It would help if you had a counselor that you can talk to and clear the air about things going on in your life, and you need to take a break whenever possible.

narcissistic exFinal Thoughts: Stay Strong for the Sake of Your Child, Despite Your Narcissistic Ex

You’re fighting to raise well-adjusted kids. Though you may not see an end to the battle in sight, there will be a day you look back on all these experiences and be glad there are over.

The narcissistic ex can make your life seem impossible, but you should stop and consider how your child feels. Your kids might feel caught in the middle of a tug-of-war, and they love both of their parents.

Researchers Reveal How Binaural Beats Can Lower Stress and Anxiety

Many remedies exist for combating stress and anxiety. Have you gone through the list and still can’t seem to calm your brain? Then you might want to try binaural beats. When you hear two tones of varying frequencies in different ears, your brain still processes them as a single tone. The term binaural beats simply refers to the different frequencies playing in each ear.

Here’s an example so you can visualize it:

Suppose you’re listening to a sound that plays in your left ear at 132 Hertz (Hz). In your right ear, you have a sound playing at a frequency of 121 Hz. Your brain will perceive the sound as the difference between the two frequencies, or 11 Hz. So, the tones will merge together, so it seems as though you only hear one tone, though two different ones are actually playing in each ear.

The history of binaural beats

A Prussian meteorologist named Heinrich Wilhelm Dove discovered binaural beats in 1839. Also called “brain entrainment,” many researchers consider them a weird invention rather than a medical treatment. Binaural means “relating to both ears.”

Playing a tone with a slightly different frequency in your left and right ear. For example, 440 Hz in one and 430 in the other, causes the waves to travel separately to your inferior colliculus. This part of your brain gathers auditory input and sends signals to your mind about the sounds. There, the tones merge into a wave of a new frequency, which occurs at the difference between the two. So, you’d hear a frequency of 10 Hz using the example above.

Binaural beats are an auditory illusion since the singular tone doesn’t exist. Researchers have found that the beats have to have a frequency of less than 1000 Hz to work, and the difference between the sounds can’t exceed 30 Hz. The tones must also play separately in each ear. Binaural beats have been used in music to help tune instruments such as pianos and organs. However, scientists have begun to look into this alternative therapy for their possible health benefits.

Evidence supporting the use of binaural beats

A 2018 study found that listening to binaural beats for a certain amount of time can affect a person’s mood and sleep patterns.

The authors of the study explain the classifications of frequencies and how they affect our brains:

  • Delta waves: Binaural beats that occur in the delta category have a frequency of 0.5–4 Hz. These waves induce a dreamless state during sleep. In the study, people who listened to this type of binaural beat had much more profound sleep than others, according to EEG brain scans.
  • Theta waves: Theta waves have a frequency of 4–7 Hz. Theta patterns have been associated with REM sleep, heightened creativity, and improved meditation.
  • Alpha pattern: Binaural beats with alpha waves have a frequency of 7–13 Hz and promote a relaxed state.
  • Beta pattern: Binaural beats with a beta pattern occur at frequencies of 13–30 Hz. Since it occurs at a higher frequency, it promotes a state of concentration and alertness. However, it can also increase anxiety as the frequency goes up.
  • Gamma waves: This frequency pattern occurs at a range between 30–50 Hz. The authors of the study explain that gamma waves help maintain a state of arousal while a person goes about their day.

Researchers reveal how binaural beats can lower stress and anxiety (among other benefits)

binaural beats and stress

Binaural beats have a similar effect on health as a regular meditation practice. But the practitioner feels the effects much quicker with this alternative therapy. Here are some of the reported benefits:

While the studies on binaural beats have been relatively small, they show promise in helping people relax and unwind in our hectic world today. Some researchers show skepticism about the benefits of binaural beats, but as long as people feel better while listening to them, that’s all that matters in the end.

Binaural beats between 1 and 30 Hz can create the same brain wave patterns that occur during meditation, according to researchers. When you hear a sound at a certain frequency, your brainwaves will adjust to match that frequency. In this way, you can experience similar benefits that you would get from meditation without actually having to practice it.

How to experience binaural beats

You will need a pair of headphones and an audio recording of this music, as well as a comfortable, relaxed setting. Many people listen before falling asleep, but you can use this method at any time you feel high anxiety or stress levels. You can easily find recordings of binaural beats online on platforms such as YouTube, or you can download them straight to your phone. Just make sure the beats have a frequency of less than 1000 Hz and that the difference between the tones doesn’t exceed 30 Hz.

Get in a comfortable position and make sure you have an environment free of distractions. Try to listen for at least 30 minutes per day so that your brain can get used to the frequencies and begin to reset to match the tones. If you don’t notice a difference with the recording you’ve found, you can always choose a different frequency at gumroad.

Adjust the time you listen, depending on your mood and anxiety levels. If you feel high levels of stress, you may want to hear for a more extended period until the feeling subsides. Always listen with headphones to get the maximum benefit. Finally, make sure you don’t listen while doing anything that requires your full attention, such as driving.

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A controlled study on binaural beats

While most studies on the health benefits of binaural beats have been small, some of them do show evidence to support claims that it can help with anxiety, mood, and performance. For example, one blinded study in 29 people found that listening to binaural beats in the beta range (16 and 24 Hz) helped with performance on a task as well as reduced negative moods. They compared this to listening to binaural beats in the theta and delta (1.5 and 4 Hz) range or pure white noise and found that the beta range helped the most.

Another controlled study in roughly 100 people about to undergo surgery also found that binaural beats dramatically decreased pre-operative anxiety compared to similar recordings without binaural beats as well as no audio. In the study, researchers found that patients’ anxiety levels decreased by 50% on average for those who listened to binaural beats.

Uncontrolled study on binaural beats

Another uncontrolled study asked eight adults to listen to a CD with binaural beats played at delta (1 to 4 Hz) wave frequencies for 60 days consecutively. The participants filled out surveys before and after the 60-day period that asked questions about their quality of life as well as mood. The answers on the review indicated that participants experienced significant improvements in quality of life as well as reduced anxiety. Of course, since the study had no controls, relied on participants to report data, and only included eight people, more extensive studies will need to be done to confirm these results.

However, a larger and more recent controlled study looked at the effectiveness of binaural beats in 291 patients admitted to the emergency area of a hospital. The researchers observed large decreases in anxiety in patients. The participants listened to audio with binaural beats compared to those who listened to sounds without binaural beats or no audio at all.

Side effects associated with binaural beats

No side effects have been reported from listening to binaural beats, but you’ll want to make sure you don’t listen for long periods at high volumes. Prolonged exposure to sounds at 85 decibels or higher can result in hearing loss. Traffic, for instance, produces sounds at around 85 decibels. Also, wearing headphones for extended periods can cause earwax buildup as well as sore feelings in the ears, so you may not want to listen at bedtime.

binaural beats for stressFinal thoughts on how binaural beats can lower stress and anxiety

The studies on the effectiveness of binaural beats have been relatively small. However, they proved that the frequencies of the beats could help with anxiety, moods, attention, and memory. Also, studies have shown that they can decrease chronic pain and improve sleep quality. To get the most out of binaural beats, listen daily for at least 30 minutes. That amount of time means your brain waves can adjust to the new frequencies.

Of course, binaural beats won’t eliminate anxiety and stress. But they can certainly serve as a helpful tool in relaxing in our fast-paced world. If you combine this stress-reduction therapy with other relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, aromatherapy, or other forms of sound therapy, you will notice even more benefits. If you try out binaural beats, let us know how you enjoy them on our Facebook page!

Psychology Explains Why It’s Hard to Admit When You Are Wrong

No one wants to admit that they’re wrong. It’s not a comfortable position for you to be in. When you acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake, it makes you feel defenseless, weak, and exposed.

Some say that when you admit that you’re incorrect that it makes you feel somewhat inadequate. Perhaps this is why so many people keep heated arguments and debates going when they should have been finished long ago.

It all comes down to the psychology of the situation. A human needs to feel that they’re correct, even if they’re not. Even when there is evidence that proves your wrong, why is it so hard to admit it?

Emotions Get in the Way of Logic

wrong

You’re a complex being that is driven by both instinct and emotion. How often have your feelings taken over and caused you to do or say something that you regretted later? It’s because emotions are powerful, and they can get in the way of your ability to use logic.

When there’s a topic that you care deeply about, your emotions kick into overdrive. Your reasoning skills are thrown out the window as you’re willing to argue to the bitter end over your passions. If there is something that challenges your beliefs, you may find it tough to accept that what you believe isn’t true.

For instance, you may believe that the Earth is flat when the vast majority think it’s round. You can receive proof from scientific studies, but you still feel intense about your opinions. Thus, your emotions get in the way of logic.

Galileo Risked it all For a Heliocentric Beliefs

In the 17th century, the Catholic Church was in an uproar because Galileo, the famous scientist, dared to think that the Earth was not the center of the universe. The Church believed that the sun revolved around the Earth, and since Galileo felt differently, a vast argument came about that split the people.

Galileo was right in his theories, but heliocentric beliefs weren’t commonplace, and they were against the teachings of the ministry. He was labeled a heresy and shunned.

It didn’t matter that Galileo was right, as the Church would never admit they were incorrect. They let pride get in the way, and it took more than 300 years for them to realize he was right finally. Now, you know that the sun was the center of the universe and the Earth revolved around it.

Galileo stood firm in his beliefs, but he wasn’t alive to hear his name vindicated. This story shows that when something challenges what you believe, it’s natural to reject those things. Some may even feel insulted that their beliefs are challenged.

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It Takes Immense Strength to Admit You’re Wrong

When someone or something challenges you, it’s natural for you to reject them or their ideas initially. The reason is that you feel that offended, perhaps a bit disrespected, and vulnerable.

You have an instinct inside of you that believes you are correct, and you have pride in your beliefs. Even if you are incorrect, you don’t want to consider it. Did you know that admitting you’re mistaken about something takes immense strength? Have you ever been around someone that wouldn’t admit they were wrong no matter what?

Consider a child with a cookie in his mouth that tells his mom he never got into the cookie jar. The mother can see the chocolate on his face, yet he won’t admit to what he’s done. The child fears that he’s going to get into trouble, or he doesn’t want to let his mother down. To avoid disappointing his mom, he lies.

How often have you been afraid to admit your wrong about a matter because you worry that people might be disappointed in you, think you can do better, or have a different opinion of you once the truth comes out?

Your pride is afraid to put yourself in a vulnerable position so that you may know deep down inside that you’re incorrect in a matter, but you will never admit it.

Vulnerability Isn’t Always a Bad Thing.

life lessons

Have you ever had a boss that made horrible business decisions, but they would never admit they made a mistake? If they were to accept their blunder, then their employees would question their authority and competency.

Being wrong shows others their inept nature and weakness. Let’s assume that a manager needed to make cuts in his trash company. He felt the logical place to make these deductions was in labor.

The current staff was given over time, and they were on the road more than before. Sure, the company saved money because it didn’t have to pay employee benefits and labor to many people. However, as a result, there were several costly accidents that more than exceeded the amount he cut from the budget.

The employees were exhausted, several quit. Indeed, finding the staff became impossible. The boss made a mistake by pulling money from an area that desperately needed it. However, it’s going to be exceedingly challenging to admit that he was wrong because the employees won’t trust him in future rulings.

How different would the situation be if he went to his staff and admitted he made a mistake and was going to correct it? It could be what was needed to turn the whole company around. Thinking that these employees will forget what happened is delusional and insulting.

Admitting to the mistake and rectifying it quickly will allow people to retain confidence. A manager must be able to develop and maintain relationships, and you can’t do that unless there is trust.

Don’t Be Afraid to Embrace Failures.

When you admit you’ve messed up, it may make things complicated for a while. Think of it like this; “if you take out the trash now, it won’t have time to sit there and stink up the place.”

You will show others your courage and character when you come forward and say that you messed up, then apologize for these actions. A leader doesn’t need to be infallible to be successful. When you accept your imperfections, you can overcome your insecurities and the fears that hold you back.

Did you know that many famous people had to admit they were wrong? History always writes about the victories, but sometimes you must consider the defeats. Remember the famed candy maker Milton Hershey? He built one of the biggest chocolate empires in the world.

People may think that he had it all and was one of the richest men in the country. However, Hershey made many mistakes along the way that cost him everything. He filed for bankruptcy two times on his dream.

The failures of those attempts might have stopped many people, but it only drove him to try harder. The third time, he learned from his mistakes and turned the chocolate world on its head with the Hershey Bar, and the rest is history. What if he didn’t admit defeat and try again?

The world might not have had a Mr. Goodbar or Reese’s peanut butter cup. Hershey is a perfect example of learning from your mistakes, picking yourself up, and trying again.

Living in a Perfect World

Part of the reason why people are so reluctant to admit their failures is that society pushes perfection. There’s nothing immoral with wanting to be a success, but it’s not always attainable. You will stumble, fall, and learn many lessons along the way.

You must learn that failing is both inevitable and necessary in life. It helps you to identify your strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to grow as a person. Life brings lessons that are sometimes painful, but they are necessary.

Remember the story of Thomas Edison? He created the light bulb, the record player, electric pen, movie cameras, and tons of other things. However, did you know that his teacher told his mother that he was unteachable, and due to his mental deficiencies, he was removed from school?

However, his mother didn’t care about all his mistakes or problems. She homeschooled and taught him everything he needed to know. Though he made many errors in life and had some challenges, he became one of the great minds in history.

wrongFinal Thoughts on Learning Life Lessons and Admitting When You Are Wrong

Everyone has flaws, and you are going to make mistakes along the way. Accept that you’re not perfect and that when you stumble, life is just teaching you a lesson. It’s complicated, but once you learn to say, “I was wrong,” it will change everything for you.

People respect those people who can admit defeat, and you will respect yourself too. If all of society were perfect, then it would be a boring world to live in. There is no one else like you on this planet, so you must embrace the times you fall and use them as life lessons to arise bigger and better than before.

Doctors Reveal 6 Natural Remedies for Swimmers Ear

If you take to water like a fish, then summer is definitely your season. When the thermometer is climbing, and the air is captive with oppressive humidity, you’re ready to jump in the pool. Perhaps your summer calendar is brimming with poolside parties, water sports, and exciting trips to the beach.

Fitness experts say that swimming is one of the best exercises for your body. It includes most of your muscles in a thorough workout that is just as much fun as it is beneficial. Water buoyancy during swimming takes the weight and strain from the body, so it is an ideal way for people to exercise who have joint and muscle issues.

According to recent surveys, nearly 80 percent of people in America know how to swim. No wonder pools and beaches are such popular hangouts during the summer. Many swimmers are active in a water sports program for a school, college, or professionally.

You may be one of those who spend more time in the water than you do on land, especially during the hot summer. As a swimming enthusiast, you are probably taking precautions to protect your skin, hair, and eyes from damaging sun and chlorine exposure. Another problem that often affects water babies is swimmers ear.

What Is Swimmers Ear?

swimmers ear

The narrow canal, called the auditory canal, connects your outer ear to your middle ear and is usually exposed to the elements. It contains glands that produce protective earwax. Even with your best efforts to wear earplugs when showering or swimming, you’re bound to get a bit of water in this canal.

Swimmers ear, or otitis externa, is a generic medical term for infection of the outer ear. Although it’s commonly attributed to those who swim a lot, otitis externa can be linked to other causes. These may include infections of the throat and sinuses or allergies.

What Causes Swimmers Ear?

You don’t necessarily have to be an avid swimmer to develop swimmers ear. Acute infection can be caused by bacteria, viruses, or mold that can fester in the auditory canal. When the canal is damp or has earwax buildup, it creates a warm haven for these harmful microbes to live and multiply.

In response to the foreign invaders, white blood cells rush into the ear canal blood vessels for defense. The canal’s outer skin layer swells and inflames its nerves, causing pain and itching. As many white blood cells and microbes die in battle, they create a foul-smelling discharge that can block the canal.

Signs and Symptoms of Swimmers Ear

If you’ve ever had swimmers ear, you are familiar with its intense pain in the auditory canal. Other signs and symptoms include itching, swelling, discharge, and sometimes fever in severe cases. This middle ear infection is common in children.

Otitis externa is often so painful that it hurts just to touch the outer ear. The pain and itching can disrupt sleep and make chewing or talking uncomfortable. If left untreated, swimmers ears can lead to infection and damage to the eardrum and cause potential hearing loss.

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These two ingredients can clear your ear wax and help to prevent infections.

Treating Swimmers Ear

When your ears are itching, it’s a normal reflex to scratch them for relief. However, scratching an infected ear can make the inflammation worse and cause a secondary infection. Although it’s more than tempting, avoid digging in your ear canal with cotton swabs, which can push the infection further into your ear or perforate your eardrum.

If your ear infection is bacterial, your professional healthcare provider may prescribe a round of antibiotics. You may also be advised to take over-the-counter medication to reduce swelling and pain. If an allergy is involved or if your infections are chronic, you may be referred to a specialist.

Sometimes you may have an acute ear infection or one that is mild to moderate. Did you know that you can often care for it at home? Here are six effective natural remedies for otitis externa for you to consider:

1.An Ounce of Prevention

Perhaps the best way to deal with middle ear infections at home is to prevent them in the first place. If you don’t want harmful microbes to set up house in your ear canal, then make it less hospitable for them. Keeping your auditory canal as dry and clean as possible can minimize your risks.

When you or your children are swimming, consider using comfortable fitting earplugs or a snug swimmers cap. You can also use earplugs when you shower to prevent excess water or soap from entering your ear canal.

Another way to keep the insides of your ears dry is to use a hairdryer. Put your hairdryer on the lowest heat and power setting and hold it about 6-8 inches from each ear until they’re dry. Take care not to leave the air on your ears too long because it may cause mild burning or irritation.

After swimming or showering, gently dry your ears. Tilt your head to each side for a few seconds to allow any water droplets to drain. Gently tug your earlobe a bit to provide good drainage. If you’ve been outside in the wind and rain, check your ears for any trapped water.

2. Hydrogen Peroxide

Hydrogen peroxide is one of the best allies in your first aid kit to combat infections, including middle ear infections. It is cheap and easy to find in any pharmacy or department store. Unlike alcohol, hydrogen peroxide is almost odorless and rarely causes burning sensations on sensitive skin.

If you’ve developed otitis externa, hydrogen peroxide can effectively kill the harmful microbes and relieve the infection. Tilt your head to the side and use a medicine dropper to add a few drops of the liquid into the affected ear. Allow it to fizz for a few seconds, drain any excess, and dry your ear thoroughly. You can repeat, as necessary.

cotton swabs

3. Use Heat or Cold

A middle ear infection can be quite painful. Often, a warm compress can soothe the irritated nerves. Set your heating pad on low to moderate temperature and lie your affected ear against it for a while. You can also use a wrapped hot water bottle or heat sock gently warmed in the microwave.

Take caution not to sleep on an electric heating pad, because overexposure may burn your outer ear. The same hairdryer technique for drying your ears can also be an effective way of reducing the pain of an ear infection. Observe the same precautions as you would any other heat source.

Some people with otitis externa find relief with a cold compress. The coolness calms the itchy and burning sensations. Wrap an ice pack in a clean towel and press gently against the affected ear as needed.

4. Apple Cider Vinegar

You’ve probably read documented studies about the many health benefits of apple cider vinegar. This ubiquitous pantry staple is a powerful natural antiseptic, antifungal, and antibacterial. It has been used for generations as a home remedy to combat external and internal infections.

To make an effective ear drop solution, mix two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar with two tablespoons of warm water. Tilt your head and use a medicine dropper to apply 5-10 drops in your affected ear. Keep your head tilted for about 5 minutes and tilt your head to the opposite side to drain any excess vinegar.

5. Alcohol & White Vinegar

This quintessential home remedy combines a double whammy against bacteria and infections. It’s also an effective regimen to help prevent ear infections like otitis externa. The isopropyl alcohol, commonly called rubbing alcohol, kills most germs and many viruses on contact.

The white vinegar is a natural antibacterial that can also prevent troublesome earwax buildup. Mix one-fourth cup of alcohol with one-fourth cup of white vinegar. Gently add a teaspoon to one ear at a time, allow the solution to work, and tip your head to drain anything remaining.

6. Tea Tree Oil

The research behind tea tree oil is extensive, including its antibacterial and antiseptic properties. For years, many people have used it successfully to help conditions like eczema, acne, and psoriasis. Although it shouldn’t be ingested, you can still use tea tree oil as effective ear drops.

Do you have an acute middle ear infection? Add a few drops of tea tree oil to the affected ear and allow it to sit for about 5 minutes before draining. Tea tree oil has a pleasant scent, and it usually doesn’t irritate inflamed skin.

earwaxFinal Thoughts: When To Seek Professional Care or Swimmers Ear

Most acute cases of otitis externa that are mild to moderate will usually resolve with natural remedies in a few days. However, if your ear infections are chronic, and you are experiencing severe pain, fever, abnormal discharge, or sudden hearing loss, seek medical attention as soon as possible.

With these sensible prevention and home remedy suggestions, you can splash away all summer with minimal ear problems. Take care, and keep your ears dry and happy. You’ll continue to enjoy hearing the sounds of summer and swimming fun for years to come.

Science Explains How Excessive Screen Time Lowers Health

Smartphones have permeated our society and changed the ways we operate in the world drastically. It doesn’t look like this technology will go away any time soon. So rather than condemn it utterly, we should look at ways to adjust our screen time instead.

After all, phones have given us a way to communicate instantly with our friends and loved ones. And, we can make new connections with people in various corners of the world.

Smartphones can have a positive impact on society, but too much screen time leads to adverse effects. These disturbing statistics show just how addicted we’ve become to our screens:

  • 7% of people sleep with their phones at night
  • 32% of survey respondents say they spend more time on their phones than with their S.O.’s
  • 8% feel uneasy leaving their phone at home
  • 4% use or look at their phone while driving
  • 4% consider themselves addicted to their phones
  • 58% report that they spend more than three hours on their phones per day
  • 17% spend more time on their phone than with their children

This data came from a survey of 500 men and women over the age of 18, performed by reviews.org. As you can see, excessive screen time affects various facets of life, from time spent with loved ones to our quality of sleep. Below, we’ll go more in-depth about how spending too much time on your phone can impact your mental and physical health.

Scientists reveal how excessive screen time lowers health:

screen time

Checking our phones dozens or even hundreds of times a day can severely affect our mental and physical health. All that stems from staring at a screen. Sometimes it seems hard to fathom how smartphones have become such an unhealthy addiction in society. Indeed, many people simply can’t live without their phones.

However, this reliance on technology comes at a cost to our well-being. Think back to a time before you had a smartphone. You probably felt a lot more free, present, and calm without your device in your hands all the time. The studies below might make you want to get back to the good old days, or at least cut down drastically on your screen time.

Physical health problems associated with excessive screen time

First off, we will go over how smartphones can impair your physical health. Think about what position you must keep your head and neck in to look down at your smartphone, sometimes for hours at a time. Your head weighs anywhere between 10 and 12 pounds, and tilting it down for hours a day can put up to 60 pounds of pressure on your head and neck. Holding this position for long periods can lead to spinal curvature loss, which can cause something scientists call “text neck.”

Not to mention, this unhealthy posture can contribute to mood and behavior problems. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, bending your head down for long periods can lead to depression, fatigue, and even decrease the oxygen your lungs can take in.

Furthermore, staying on your phone for hours a day, especially before bed, can disrupt your circadian rhythm due to the blue light emitted from the phone. While phones now come with light adjustment features that dim the lights closer to bedtime, it still can affect your sleep by overstimulating your brain. Many people even wake up in the middle of the night to check their phones!

Finally, the amount of time spent staring at one object can contribute to “tired eyes,” which can lead to physical and mental exhaustion. Plus, the rampant vision problems we see today have likely been caused, at least partially, by staring at screens and books for extended periods.

screen time

Mental health problems caused by excessive screen time

Despite how antisocial and disconnected from our environments we’ve become, 75 percent of Americans don’t believe their smartphone affects their social skills in group settings, according to the Pew Research Center. A third of Americans believe that using their smartphone during social times benefits the conversation.

Sadly, this just shows how addicted we’ve become to our smartphones, and how many people deny how excessive screen time affects their ability to socialize and function in society. Smartphones serve as an escape from reality, even if the users don’t perceive it this way. It takes our focus away from our immediate environment and makes the people around us have to fight for our attention. Technology should never take the place of human relationships, and unfortunately, it seems that many of us prioritize our online lives over our real ones.

If you look around you in any given setting, you’ll see people of all ages glued to their phones. In fact, in 2015, the Pew Research Center found that 24 percent of teenagers reported spending time online “almost constantly.” According to Nielsen’s Total Audience Report, most adults spend 10+ hours a day staring at screens. This staggering amount of time spent on our phones can impact our mental and emotional health over time.

What do the experts say about the overuse of smartphones?

“Mobile devices are the mother of inattentional blindness,” said Henry Alford, the author of “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners.” “That’s the state of monomaniacal obliviousness that overcomes you when you’re absorbed in an activity to the exclusion of everything else.”

In a study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture, researchers found that 70 percent of women reported smartphones had interfered with their relationships. Technology should never drive a wedge between essential relationships in one’s life. However, any addiction tends to do that over time, unfortunately.

According to another study performed at the University of Essex in the United Kingdom, researchers found that participants felt negative feelings when a person’s smartphone was visible during a conversation. Researchers asked 34 pairs of strangers to have conversations about trivial topics. They also discussed other insignificant events happening in their lives.

Half of the participants had a mobile device visible while the other half had a notebook out on the table. The results showed that the participants who discussed essential events in their lives with only a notebook present felt they could trust the stranger. However, the ones with a cell phone had the opposite effect.

Other impacts of excessive screen time

Researchers at the University of Michigan have found that empathy levels across age groups have decreased overall, while narcissism continues to climb. This doesn’t seem surprising since social media platforms survive on people gaining attention on their posts with likes and comments.

Finally, smartphone usage increases cortisol and stress levels in the body significantly. A study performed at the University of Gothenburg in Sweden found that women who reported excessive screen time had more sleep disturbances and higher stress levels. In men, heavy smartphone usage led to higher rates of depression and sleep disruptions.

So, in short, smartphones have made us anxious, depressed, sleep-deprived, antisocial, narcissistic, and inconsiderate toward others. Perhaps we should reevaluate our relationships with our devices, knowing this information. With that said, we have control over our time and actions, and smartphones don’t have to take over our lives.

EMF sickness

Here are 15 signs of EMF sickness.

How can we cut back on screen time?

1 – Limit your time on your phone.

Most newer phones come equipped with app limits now that turn off apps after a particular time. Utilize these tools if you have a hard time staying off your phone. Or, better yet, simply turn it off for a portion of your day. Remember, smartphones can serve as a tool to benefit your life, but they don’t have to control you.

2 – Change how you use your smartphone.

Smartphones, like anything else, can either help or hurt us, depending on how we use them. Instead of using them as a crutch or escape from reality, try only to use your phone when necessary. Engage with your environment in your downtime, and give your loved ones undivided attention. If you develop a healthy relationship with your phone, it won’t have near as much power over you.

3 – Have a life outside your phone.

Much of our world operates virtually now, but a whole reality exists outside your screens as well. Make sure to have hobbies and interests outside your online life, so you don’t lose yourself in the virtual world. Make time for self-care, exercise, and other things that keep you healthy. Only look at your phone as something to use when you have free time.

annoy your partnerFinal thoughts on how excessive screen time can harm your health

Perhaps we’ve forgotten that we have control over our actions. And if our screens have taken over our lives, we hold power to change this. If you think you’ve become addicted to your phone, take baby steps to distance yourself from the technology. Excessive screen time can quickly become a hazard to your mental and physical health, but with time and effort, you can take your life back.

10 Ways to Tell if Your Partner is Guilty of Lying

There’s not a person alive who is not guilty of at least one little white lie in their life. While constant deceit is a character flaw, in some instances, it’s socially acceptable to fib. However, what about significant dishonesty in a relationship?

Someone who continually tells untrue things is not trustworthy, and do you want to be in a relationship with that person? Those who deal with this person daily may have a hard time separating the fibs from the facts. Even worse is being in a relationship with an individual who lies to you and can’t be honest about anything as pathological liars don’t make suitable partners.

How do you know that your spouse isn’t truthful with you? If they don’t feel guilty and can quickly tell you any story that they can dream up, it may be hard to know if they’re honest or deceptive. Thankfully, here are ten signs that will help you determine if your partner is being trustworthy or making up stories.

10 Signs That Your Partner Might Be Guilty of Lying to You

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1. They Put the Blame on Others

It’s a natural defense mechanism to blame someone else when you’re dishonest or caught doing something wrong. Anyone can be testy or even arrogant when confronted, but if you notice that they throw the question back on you or want to blame everyone under the sun, then it’s clear that this is a guilty move.

The goal is for them to keep you on the defensive so that it shifts the responsibility from them. This move helps to ease a guilty conscience. It’s childlike to point the finger at everyone else, especially when there are always for pointing right back at them.

2. Liars Have an Answer for Everything

If you’ve watched any crime investigation television, then you know that people who are in trouble often collaborate to cover themselves. When you ask your partner if they’re lying, do they have an answer for everything when you confront them?

When they quickly have an explanation for every little inquiry, then it’s possible they took the time to get their story together. Don’t be shocked if they ask you to call a buddy or even a relative to back up their claims. The more people they have on their side, the easier it is for you to ease your suspicions.

3. Lying is Not a big deal to Them

If you’re trying to decide if your partner is dishonest, you can use their character to help you. Have they lied to you before? Have they cheated, spent money frivolously, or done other things that they’ve tried to hide from you in the past?

Some people have no problem lying about anything and everything. Your partner may justify his actions because they state that they don’t want to hurt you. Remember one thing, when someone lies about the small stuff. Then they will have no problem fibbing about the big stuff too.

Often, the lies are to ease their guilty conscience and to make you feel good about the situation. If they are dishonest about essential things, staying in the relationship can be challenging as all excellent unions are built on trust.

pop meme

4. They Repeat the Same Story Over and Over

Do you notice that your partner keeps repeating the same story time and again? If the tale they tell is the truth, then there’s no need to keep repeating it. Who are they trying to convince here, themselves, or you?

The book “Woman Are Crazy; Men Are Stupid” clearly defines the gender roles taken in disagreements. One detailed finding is that men tend to repeat the same story when it’s a lie. It’s a little mechanism in their brain that tells them that the more they say it, the more accurate the statement becomes.

5. They Become Overly Defensive

It’s normal to be defensive when you’re being accused of something. However, if you find that your partner becomes fidgety and won’t look you in the eye, then there’s something that isn’t adding up. Eye contact is imperative when you’re having a serious conversation.

The chances are that a person who becomes defensive is not truthful and is guilty as sin. They may get angry, start yelling, calling names, or go crazy when someone accused them of something. Remember, the best defense in life is a potent offense, and this tactic is all smoke and mirrors.

6. Liars Cover Their Tracks

Let’s assume that you think your partner is cheating on you. They will cover their tracks to keep from getting caught. They may put a lock on their phone that won’t allow you to see calls and text messages, or they can change passwords on accounts that you share.

Does your partner carry two cell phones? This is almost always a sign that something isn’t quite right unless one is a company phone. Does your partner go to the shower as soon as they get home, and have they started paying for everything in cash? These are all signs that something is amiss.

7. They’re Distant and Secretive

They say that silence is golden, but that’s not when a partner is keeping something from their other half. Some people may get defensive when they’re guilty of wrongdoing, but others become noticeably quiet. Have you noticed that your special someone is not acting like their usual self lately?

What you can’t see is an internal struggle that they’re not telling you anything about. They may refrain from speaking because they don’t know what to say. They figure that the least said is best answered.

You may notice that they avoid coming around you too. They may work late to keep from coming home and having to face you. Avoidance is a strong indication that something isn’t right.

Also, you may notice them taking their phone calls in the other room or silencing a ringtone. They don’t want to talk in front of you, so they will take their conversations outside or avoid them when they are in your presence.

8. The Details Don’t Add Up

When someone is guilty of wrongdoing, then they often forget what they’ve told you. They may change details in their story because it’s difficult for them to keep it straight. When a person tells more than one lie, then the chances of them keeping all the lies in order is next to impossible.

Since keeping it straight is hard, many won’t speak at all. However, when you do get them to talk, the details may not add up. You may notice that the name of friends, locations, or places change from the story.

Even if you comfort them at this point, they will still lie to you. You need hard evidence before you can prove that they’re deceitful.

Happiness quote

9. They Won’t Talk About Anything Too Deep or Personal

This tip is for someone who is new in a relationship or just getting to know someone. If your dating interest wants to pursue a relationship with you, they will want to learn everything they can about your life and vice versa.

If a person thinks that you’re getting too personal and wants to back off the conversation about past loves, family, or other matters, then it’s a red flag. They may have a guilty conscience of things they’ve done in the past, and they don’t want to share these things with you.

A proper person will answer your questions in-depth, especially if they want to know you better. If they avoid your queries and change the subject, then it’s a sign that they have something to hide.

10. Your Gut Tells You That Something is Off

Lastly, you should use your intuitive side to find out if your partner is guilty. It’s a feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach that something isn’t quite right. You have these knots for a reason, and you should trust your gut.

Did you know that most people know that they’re being lied to long before they admit it? It’s normal for people to delay actions on their intuition. Individuals tolerate a lot of excuses before they finally take action. You can end the torture by just going with that gut instinct and using old fashioned confrontation.

guiltyFinal Thoughts of Dealing with a Partner Guilty of Lying

Matters of the heart are often involved. If you find the right person, you won’t have all these questions and doubts about their honesty. However, just because the individual you begin dating starts out good doesn’t mean that the relationship won’t have its share of ups and downs.

Develop excellent communication skills from the beginning and learn that there should never be any secrets between the two of you. If they have done something wrong, they should be man or woman enough to come to your face and tell you what’s going on. Any relationship built on dishonestly is toxic and won’t last.

Science Reveals How a Pessimistic Outlook Can Lead to Earlier Death

Is your constant negativity going to send you to an early grave? Everyone strives to be happy. Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to rid all the pessimistic thoughts from your head.

There’s plenty of good days, but it’s the bad days that nearly drive you to the breaking point. Dealing with people and situations alone is enough to make you feel like a pessimist. You have a choice.

You must strip away the thing in life that is bringing your spirits down. Take the time and effort to refocus your energy into being a better person. The most significant detriments to your victory are the negative side of the toxic people you encounter.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you run with the wolves, you’re going to howl?” This adage speaks volumes. If you are always with people who are negative and feed that pessimistic attitude, then it won’t be long before you lose your optimism.

Your Health Feels the Effects of a Negative Spirit

While having a pessimistic won’t give you brownie points in the office, it can do things to your health. Did you know that people who tend to be negative all the time tend to die earlier than those that glow with positivity?

Dr. Cynthia Thaik did a study on the effects a pessimistic outlook has on your body. As a cardiologist, she found that the heart feels a great deal of the strain caused by the constant oppression. If you have a fit of rage that lasts a mere five minutes, that time can inhibit your immune system for up to six hours later.

pessimistic

Constant negativity and anger can cause the following things:

    • High Blood Pressure
    • Strokes
    • Heart Attacks
    • Anxiety
    • Chronic Headaches
    • Circulatory Issues

Stress Damages Your Body

Did you know that being consistently negative can rewire your brain? Yes, just like you can make your mind prone to positivity, you can also make it likely to have a pessimistic outlook.

Take, for instance, a young woman named Crystal. She moved in with her parents to take care of them in their late years. While her mother was sweet and kind, her father was irritable and cranky. He would continuously get onto Crystal for every little thing she did. He was always negative and grumbling, and it got the best of her.

One afternoon, Crystal was trying to help her father, and he exploded on her. The two got into a shouting match. All of a sudden, she didn’t feel so good. Having trained in nursing, she ran and got the blood pressure machine to see if this was the culprit.

She nearly fell over when she saw that her BP was 200/125, and her heart was beating 132 beats per minute. She was a stroke or heart attack, waiting to happen. Thankfully, she knew that she had to calm herself down as this was going to cause her significant problems.

Crystal has never been a yeller or a confrontational person. However, her father’s constant badgering and belittling took her to a negative place where she reacted. Sadly, she became so worked up that she almost ended up in the emergency room. Was it worth it for her to stay in this place?

Crystal learned that she was in a toxic situation, and her father was detrimental to her health. She moved out and let caregivers take care of them, but she still came to visit on occasion. By refocusing her life with positivity, she was able to get her blood pressure problems under control.

Do you have a situation in your life that reminds you of Crystal’s? Maybe it’s a parent, coworker, child, or another relative that is toxic to you? You have the power to cut negative things from your life for the sake of your health.

blood pressure

Ways to Rid a Pessimistic Life

If you want to have good health and want others to enjoy being around you because you’re always so optimistic, here are a few ways to accomplish this task.

1. Acknowledge You Have a Problem

The first step to dealing with an issue is admitting you have a problem. If you don’t see anything wrong with your actions or feelings, then you won’t change. Make a list of all the things that are causing you to be negative.

You’re not happy with your weight, your hairstyle, or some other petty thing. If the root is a toxic person, then you can move on from them.

2. Remove Yourself from Toxic Situations

Are you in toxic situations that are weighing you down? You can’t become an optimist if you are always in a self-deprecating position. These situations can be jobs, relationships, or associations. You will feel so much better when you cut the dead weight out of your life.

3. Seek Positive Outlets in Life

One of the best ways to shape off a negative outlook is by finding some positive outlets. People generally are down on themselves and have pity parties when they don’t realize how blessed they indeed are in life. To change your perspective, why not volunteer some time in a soup kitchen or talking with people at a homeless shelter?

There are plenty of charitable acts that you can do that will fulfill your life and give you a sense of purpose. Many folks go through the daily grind with little to no consideration of how blessed they are. Start counting your blessings in life, and it’s tough to be mad for too long.

4. Find Someone to Talk To

If your life is so overwhelming that you can’t seem to get past a day without crying or feeling blue, then it’s time to get help. It’s easy to be cynical when you’re plagued with depression and anxiety.

Things are maybe going great in your life. You may have a loving family and all the support in the world. Still, that won’t take away the feeling in your heart that you’re lonely and sad. It’s easy to be cynical when you feel horrible on the inside.

Mental illness can do strange things to people, and it can make you feel in ways you never thought possible. Some of the most beautiful individuals can become quite pessimistic when their body isn’t cooperating. It’s worth having a doctor and therapist to get involved if there are no other reasons for the ongoing negativity.

5. Learn to Say No to Things That Trigger Pessimistic Feelings

Do you continuously take on more than you can handle? Do you have a hard time saying no to people even though you don’t have time? Learning appropriate boundaries is not easy, but it can change your whole life.

Anyone can be a negative Nelly when there’s no time for rest and relaxation. Your entire life can’t be about working at your job and home. It will help if you put your needs into the equation, which means learning to say no.

Signs That You’re a Negative Person

toxic friendshipsPerhaps, you’re one of the many people who don’t realize how negative you are. You may feel that nothing is wrong, though some avoid you, and you don’t even know why. Here are five signs that negativity is ruling your life.

1. You Cannot Wait to Go to Bed

One of the hallmark problems with a negative person is they are filled with stress and anxiety. These overwhelming feelings cause you to want to close the world off and be alone. Sleeping resets your batteries and gives you a boost to keep ongoing. However, it’s a sign that your negative nature is wearing you out.

2. You Always See the Negative in Life Before the Positive

Let’s assume you were offered a new position at your job. Do you automatically start thinking of all the negative aspects before you think of the positive ones? If you always find the pessimistic things first, then you may have a problem.

3. You Have a Poor Body Image

Do you know that negative people often don’t like anything about themselves? It wouldn’t matter if you were model material, you would always find something wrong with you.

4. You Complain Constantly

Is every word out of your mouth a complaint? Is there anything in life that pleases you? If you’re always complaining and murmuring about something, you need to change it to a positive outlook for your health’s sake.

5. You Turn Down Compliments

If someone compliments your outfit or your new cologne, do you find a way to throw the compliment back to them? For instance, you have a couple over for dinner, and they rave about how good your house looks, yet you point out all the flaws that tend to drive you crazy. If this sounds like you, then you may have a problem.

pessimisticFinal Thoughts on Getting Rid of Pessimistic Thoughts and Living a Happier, Longer Life

You’ve heard the saying that stress kills. Studies show that this is true. When you’re under stress, it raises your blood pressure, causes you to be anxious and tense, and makes life miserable.

If you want to live a long and prosperous life, you must take control of the negativity surrounding you. It’s time to take on an optimistic outlook on life for the sake of your health.

Psychology Proves a Link Between Self Esteem and Father Daughter Bonds

What is it about a father daughter bond that seems so special? And what does it mean for self-esteem?

Girls tend to favor their dad, while boys tend to latch on to their mother. These patterns are something observed throughout history. A daughter needs to have a healthy relationship with her father. Psychologists have now proven that it’s essential for the child to develop these relationships to form positive self-esteem.

Why is this relationship between a father and daughter so important? First, little girls all see Daddy as their hero, and rightfully so. He is the first male figure in her life that she depends on. A daughter develops a relationship with her parents early on as they are her entire world.

Traditionally, throughout history, here is what happened. Mothers played a pivotal role as the nurturing and caring ones. However, a father’s role was just as important. He made sure his daughter was safe and was eager to protect her. These vital roles were based on historical perceptions. Of course, modern parents can cross over into the other position or serve as both.

It’s essential for a child to feel a bond with both parents. However, psychologists have found that when the father-daughter relationship struggles early on, it can cause many emotional challenges. Additionally, a skewed view of dad can cause problems with dating and marrying a man.

father daughter

The Formative Years

The father-daughter relationship develops around two years of age. Since the formative years are defined as ages 2-4, this male role needs to be in her life. The bond that develops in these years will last a lifetime.

When a child is going through their formative years, they need both the female and male role. The toddler is asking internal questions such as:

  • Am I okay to be me?
  • What can I explore today?
  • Will Mommy or Daddy play with me?
  • Who will feed me?

They learn quickly which parent will do specific roles in their care. For instance, if mom feeds the child, then when they are hungry, they will go to mom. However, if mom isn’t around, then they learn dad is a backup. Additionally, they learn the roles that dad plays in their life.

Forming a Sense of Independence

As your child is growing and learning to be more self-sufficient, they use repetition. It’s how they form a sense of independence. They find comfort in knowing that daddy will fix their doll’s arm or care for their bumps or scrapes.

Safety and security are significant self-esteem factors for young children, especially as they learn to walk and talk. Many changes are going on in their lives, and they need the united force of their parents to make them feel safe.

Should dad be demanding with the child and push them too far, it can cause them to doubt their new skills. Both parents must allow a child to use the repetitive nature that comes along during the formative years as it’s essential for growth. Your child needs everything in place so they can master their environment.

narcissists

Psychology reveals the behaviors that cause children to grow up to become narcissists.

Avoiding Self-Doubt

When a child has a skewed father-daughter relationship, it can cause self-doubt to occur. Doubt can cause a child to place limits on themselves as they grow. These kids usually make derogatory statements such as:

  • I’ll never be good enough to try out for the school play.
  • Everyone else is better than me.
  • I can’t do that spelling bee because I fear I will mess up.

The self-doubt that starts in the formative years from a poor father-daughter relationship or other outlying factors can turn into low self-esteem. When children make such comments as listed above, some say they are shy or afraid to explore things.

The real problem is that the child is making these statements, hoping that someone will give them advice on the matter. A daughter desperately longs for her parents’ approval, and she doesn’t feel free to try new things without a gentle nudge in the right direction. A child uses the rules they’ve learned early on to set the patterns for life.

If a father doesn’t allow children to explore, experiment, and be adventurous, they won’t be curious or welcome experimentation in life.

Negative Patterns Follow Throughout Life

When a parent sees an issue with the child’s esteem, they must correct the dynamics. If these issues flourish, they will be a constant problem well into adulthood. The father-daughter bond is essential, but any negative patterns from childhood must be corrected to change their self-doubting nature.

A self-doubting child turns into an adult who is afraid to go for a job promotion as they are fearful they can’t keep up with the work. Many are so scared to try anything new or move too far away from their homestead. Girls who don’t have a good father-daughter dynamic may be scared to do anything, even in adulthood that might be a little risky.

A father must be encouraging his daughter. They should motivate them to try new things, be adventurous, and be on the sidelines, cheering them on in life. Remember, they will make errors, but you need to be there to pick up the pieces. Mistakes are a part of life and how you learn.

Both mothers and fathers must support their children as they grow and make blunders. When required, offer advice, but make sure you are a support system and a shoulder to cry on.

self esteem

Here are 15 rules of etiquette every parent should teach their kids.

Setting The Stage for a Happy Life

Children are a product of their environment. Have you ever heard the statement, “She has daddy issues?” While it’s natural for a girl to want to marry someone like her dad, if the father-daughter dynamic is toxic, it causes problems.

Conversely, a boy who never had a mother be there for him can have issues trusting women in life. The most significant gift a dad can give their daughter is to teach them respect. Respect is not something that comes freely, as it must be earned.

You can show your daughter the true meaning of respect by treating her mother and other siblings well. Being that constant positive in her life sets the stage for how her husband and sons will treat her. She will know what to expect and won’t settle for anything less.

Mothers and fathers can both put the wheels in motion for healthy patterns. Girls tend to gravitate to what is familiar to them. It doesn’t matter if her father was a positive or negative force in her life; she will look towards comfortable things.

Being a father is one of the biggest job titles that come with the most significant rewards, so dads have a lot of pressure not to mess up.

Promoting Father-Daughter Bonding

Some dads have a hard time relating to their daughters, as it’s easier to relate to males. However, it would help if you could bridge the divide and do things your daughter likes. For instance, take her to a movie and out to ice cream.

No one is going to refuse a good flick and a sweet treat. Most cities have those daddy-daughter dances around Valentine’s Day. While it may be out of your comfort zone, you must go for the sake of her self-esteem. The memories you will make with her will be priceless.

Try building something together, and you may find that your little girl has a liking for power tools. You can take a cooking class and then use your skills to create dinner for the family. Many girls love to shoot hoops or take a drive in the evening with the music blasting.

When you think about it, you and your daughter would like to do tons of things together. It doesn’t matter what you do. Make sure you let her be a part of the selection process so you validate her opinions.

father daughterFinal Thoughts on the Father Daughter Relationships and Developing Healthy Esteem

Thankfully, it’s never too late to work on your relationship with your daughter. Even if you weren’t there for her in her formative years because of divorce or work, you could be there for her now. Did you know that women who grow up and have positive relationships with their parents are generally more confident and well-rounded in life?

Women with confidence choose better partners, have emotionally healthy ways to deal with stress and drama, and often have well-balanced relationships with males and females. The joy of raising a good child is one of the most significant accomplishments you can have in life.

Working on your father-daughter relationship is imperative as it means everything to raising well-adjusted girls with self-esteem–and who don’t have “daddy issues.”

11 Ways to Get Rid of Belly Bloat Naturally

Ugh, your bloated stomach makes you feel uncomfortable and unattractive. Everybody gets an occasional bloated tummy. It’s usually just a temporary thing. So, what are some natural ways to get rid of your belly bloat?

Bloating is the heavy, tight feeling you get in your gut after eating.  It could be due to a gastro problem like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). But researchers say that around 50% of people who complain of a bloated stomach don’t meet the criteria for IBS. So, what causes belly bloat?

belly bloat

 

Foods that cause your belly bloat issues

Bloating is somewhat of a moving target for doctors to diagnose, but there are some well-known foods that cause an irritated tummy.

1 – Beans

High in protein and fiber, beans are good for you, but they are one of the most common foods that cause bloating and gas.  Beans contain a complex sugar which your body can’t easily break down. This causes fermentation to occur in your gut.

This gives off a gas that causes bloating and discomfort. To offset bean’s gas, add a couple of teaspoons of cumin when you cook them. Also, eat black beans or pinto beans since they don’t cause as much gas as other kinds of beans.

belly bloat

2 – Carbonated Drinks

Carbonated drinks cause a lot of bellies-bloating. The carbon dioxide in the sodas and other carbonated drinks give off a gas you swallow as you drink. You may burp out some of this gas, but some gas gets trapped inside your digestive system. You feel bloated and may even pain. Switch to plain water or flavored waters to minimize your belly bloat.

3 – Wheat

Wheat contains gluten. Many people complain of feeling bloated after eating bread or pasta. Gluten may not get completely digested in your digestive system. At the end phase of digestion, fermentation causes gassiness and discomfort.  Gluten products can even cause diarrhea. If, after eating gluten products, you notice if you are bloated, you may have a gluten allergy. Try going off gluten for a month to see if you feel better. Replace wheat oats, quinoa, coconut flour or almond flour for wheat.

4 – Cruciferous vegetables

Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts are all part of the cruciferous vegetables. They are common gas-producing veggies to should avoid if you don’t want a bloated tummy. Sometimes cooking cruciferous veggies helps reduce their gassiness.

5 – Dairy products

Around 75% of people across the world are lactose intolerant. Gas, cramping, stomach pain, and diarrhea are common side effects of lactose intolerance. Fortunately, there are lactose-free dairy products available today. Substitute cows milk products for almond milk or coconut milk in ice creams and yogurts.

6 – Garlic and onions

Garlic and onions are notorious for making you feel bloated. They’re hard for your gut to digest. Cooking them can help reduce some gassiness you feel, but you may need to stop eating them.

7 – Beer

Beer is a huge contributor to your bloated tummy.  Beer is made from fermentable carbohydrates like barley, corn, or wheat. These combined with the carbon dioxide in beer produce bloating and gassiness. Wines are a good alternative to beer without the tummy bloat.

belly bloat

Eleven ways to get rid of belly bloat naturally.

Besides not eating certain foods, here are some other natural ways to reduce your belly bloat.

1 – Don’t overeat those foods that cause belly bloat

It sounds too easy, but just eating less food at meals can minimize your belly bloat. Large fatty meals overload your digestive system making it work hard. This causes you to feel bloated and uncomfortable.

Try eating more often with less food each time.  Many doctors suggest eating five smaller meals a day is best. You’ll have less bloat and feel better overall.

2 – Don’t eat your meals (or snacks) too fast

When you gulp down your food, you accidentally take in air into your digestive tract. This builds up in your gut, causing belly bloat. Eat slowly, deliberately chewing and enjoying your food. You will be surprised how less bloated you are, plus you will notice a flatter stomach from simple habit change.

3 – Take a walk after you eat your meal

Getting a little exercise after a meal aids your digestion and helps reduce the gas build up in your gut. Walking gets your blood pumping, so you feel clear-headed and more relaxed after a meal.

4 – Peppermint candies work wonderfully well

Did you ever wonder why some restaurants give you a peppermint with the check? It’s a complimentary digestive aid for your tummy. Peppermint relaxes the muscles of your stomach. This helps the bile move to help digest fats causing food to pass through your stomach faster and more efficiently.

5 – Reduce salt in your meal

Sodium from the salt in your food can cause a bigger belly after you eat. The salt retains fluids making your tummy more swollen. Reduce the amount of salt in cooking and avoid salting your food. Putting away the salt shaker is an easy way to kiss your belly bloat goodbye.

sugar detox

6 – Take a warm bath or shower

When you feel bloated, try taking a warm bath or shower. The warm water relaxes your stomach muscles making your tummy feel less bloated. You can add several drops of peppermint or lavender essential oil in warm water for a wonderful, relaxing spa experience. Warm baths and showers are especially helpful to ease the bloating you experience during your menstrual cycle.

7 – Avoid sugar-free foods and drinks

Artificial sweeteners are a common contributor to belly bloat. Sugar-free products are very popular because they’re so low in calories. But studies show that although artificial sweeteners are considered safe, they do affect your gut. Several artificial sweeteners like saccharin, sucralose, and stevia change the composition of your gut microbes. Researchers are still studying the effects of these sweeteners.

Diet drinks and other sugar-free drinks could be the reason for your bloating. Try drinking flavored sparkling waters for a low-calorie natural alternative to diet drinks. Use honey instead of artificial sweeteners in your coffee or baking.

8 – Take probiotics

Probiotics are living microorganisms that can restore and strengthen your gut’s flora.  Fermented foods like Greek yogurt,  kefir, and kombucha contain natural probiotics. Try adding these items to your daily menu for a natural boost to your gut health. There are many over the counter natural probiotics you can buy. These are effective too.

9 – Eat foods with natural digestive enzymes

Your body has several organs that create digestive enzymes to break down foods for digestion. There are three types of digestive enzymes: Proteases, lipases, and amylases. If your body doesn’t have enough digestive enzymes to break down foods, you’ll end up with food intolerances.

There are many over the counter digestive enzymes that aid digestion, but you can eat foods that are naturally high in digestive enzymes. These include:

  • Honey
  • Pineapples
  • Papaya
  • Mango
  • Bananas
  • Avocados
  • Sauerkraut

10 – Try drinking lemon water

Drink a cup of warm lemon water whenever you feel bloated. It enhances your digestion plus relieves your grumpy tummy. When you’re bloated, it’s important to drink extra fluids.

Lemon water hydrates you, plus it acts as a natural diuretic to flush out extra fluids in your body. The combination relieves your bloating and flattens your stomach.

11 –  Let the farts rip

Your body will rid itself of excess gas that causes your stomach discomfort by farting. Farts are a natural part of the digestive process. They are nothing you should feel ashamed of. So, feel free to excuse yourself from polite company, seek a private location, and let them rip. You will feel instant relief.

farting

Doctors explain twenty surprising things that cause farting.

Final Thoughts on Reducing Belly Bloat Using These Natural Techniques

Belly bloat is no fun. You feel uncomfortable and sluggish. Fortunately, it’s a temporary experience. You can take control by following these natural practices to reduce that uncomfortable feeling for good.

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