“Kids today don’t want to get married. Too many of their friends have been married and divorced already. They just don’t believe in it.” – Wally Schirra (1923-2007), Former American Astronaut
Not believing in something is certainly a good reason not to do it.
Take marriage for example. Most consider it to be a serious thing. If, in good faith, someone is investing years of their time (and other things) into someone else, is it not reasonable to expect some reciprocity?
Not for some people. Problems with compromise? No marriage for you. Long-standing commitment issues? Marriage probably isn’t the best idea.
Don’t want a traditional life? Don’t want kids? Don’t care about societal norms? Check. Check. Check. There isn’t anything wrong with these viewpoints. Rationally, one could argue that we need more people who think the same way (see: unsustainable population growth.)
What happens when people like this do get married? Predictably, the outcome isn’t good in most cases. Considering the national divorce rate hovers around 50 percent, their odds of making it aren’t too favorable.
The saddest part is that they brought someone else along for the ride. As you’ll see in the following cases – which range from hilarious to heartbreaking – there is plenty of evidence to support the notion that marriage isn’t for everyone. Such tales also serve as a reminder that we should remain cautious about who it is we let into our lives.
Here are eight such cases:
1. “I’ll bet my wife on it.”
A Russian man, after losing all his money on multiple poker games, wagered his lovely wife. His night just kept getting worse (we think, who knows?) when he lost the ridiculous bet.
“It was humiliating, and I was utterly ashamed. But at soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him. Sergey was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did ‘win’ me in a poker game,” said the (literal) trophy wife.
2. “I’ll show you Frozen.”
In an utterly bizarre story, a Japanese man apparently thought the movie Frozen was overrated.
The man turned to his wife and asked, “Did you really think it was that good?” Apparently, that’s when the Frozen fanatic came out. She left him soon afterwards.
3. “You don’t understand, she is possessed.”
In the Catholic religion, demonic possession (and exorcism) is viewed as a reality. But even the most ardent Catholic would check this story twice.
An Italian man claimed that his wife “had displayed ‘inexplicable behavior’ since 2007,” according to a Milan divorce court’s records. Allegedly, the woman levitated, threw fits, and even tossed church pews. The divorce was granted. No word on a revived Exorcist franchise.
4. “You’re just too…nice…”
This one is quite sad. On the T.V. show Divorce Court, a woman by the name of Rashida Lucas divorced her husband because he was just “too nice.” Apparently, the ex-husband also cooked so well that she gained weight and said, “I love you” too much.
We don’t think he’s going to have a problem finding someone else. Poor guy.
5. “Uhh…I want out.”
Given the previous story, this one serves as an appropriate follow-up. A 34-year old man filed for divorce days after seeing his new bride without makeup. Following a dip in the ocean, the unfortunate woman’s makeup washed off. The man did not like what he saw underneath, and that was that.
Stay classy, bro.
6. “It’s not you, it’s your *ahem* other thing.”
A Nigerian woman and mother of three filed for divorce one week into her second marriage, citing her new husband’s large member. In Islamic tradition, it is customary for the woman to be welcomed into the groom’s home for a short period. Unfortunately, the stay would be shorter than expected.
“When he came, we had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else because his penis was too big,” said Aisha Dannupawa to a Sharia court. Divorce was granted on the grounds that the dowry and money spent during the courtship were repaid by Ms. Dannupawa.