Page 490

Fitness Experts Reveal 12 Ways Exercising Can Increase Mental Health

November 22, 2020 by Lakeisha Ethans

You’ve probably heard many times that you should exercise to increase mental disorders symptoms. Believe it or not, there’s truth to that advice!

While it isn’t a cure, exercising is truly one of the best ways to manage and reduce symptom severity healthily. Here’s how scientific studies by fitness experts reveal 12 ways exercising can improve your mental health.

1. It Releases Positive Hormones to Increase Mental Health

The act of exercising releases neurotransmitters or hormones, known as endorphins. Endorphins are fantastic feel-good hormones that lead to experiences of emotions of euphoria, joy, and happiness overall.

Studies have long uncovered the benefits that exercise has on those diagnosed with depression. It increases positive thinking and, in certain cases, can have equal effectiveness to depression medication.

Here are some things to keep in mind about exercising for that mood boost and your health:

The weekly exercise recommended 150 minutes of elevated heart rate per week – or 30 minutes, 5 times weekly.
Elevated heart rate can be achieved through things other than standard gym exercises, so try dancing, gardening, walking in a park, or other similar endeavors.
Working out with friends or family can add to the fun through social engagement, and it can also keep you motivated to exercise.

2. It Relieves Anxiety

There is plenty of common go-tos for relieving anxiety, with most options gearing towards the calming, like bubble baths or reading a book. But did you know that studies show that the most effective way to relieve anxiety is through exercise?

Yes, believe it or not, the endorphins let off during exercise is more effective for your symptoms than any common “calming” action! Here are some examples of effective anxiety aids in exercise:

A 20-minute jog
Aerobic exercise (moderate or high intensity)
High-intensity interval training

3. It Helps Memory

If you find that you’re forgetful all the time, the answers you seek may lie in exercise. It’s a surprising link at first, but think about it – a healthy body means a healthy brain! Here are some studies that show how well memory can be improved via exercise:

“Exercise training increases the size of hippocampus and improves memory,” published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (2011). Did you know that the hippocampus shrinks as you age? That’s what made the results of this randomized control trial study so important. It found that cell production within the hippocampus can be boosted thanks to exercise. The hippocampus aids functions like learning and memory, and its improvement reduce the risk of dementia in the elderly.
“High impact running improves learning” published in Neurobiology of Learning and Memory (2007). In another randomized control trial study, this research paper revealed that running sprints could actually boost the retention of vocabulary. This was conducted with only healthy adults, which makes the results even more promising, as it shows even those at a younger can benefit mentally from exercise.
“A neuroimaging investigation of the association between aerobic fitness, hippocampal volume and memory performance in preadolescent children” published in Brain Research (2010). This interesting study found links between the level of physical fitness of children and their cognitive development. An obvious relationship between increased exercise and faster development was found, typically relating to how much children could remember from school and lessons.

4. It Increases Productivity

If you find your productivity dipping, it could be a sign that you need more exercise. If you actively allocate time for even a quick walk or jog daily, you could have positive changes in energy and productivity levels. Research concludes that cubicle workers who make time for exercise are typically more productive than their more sedentary counterparts. The best time might be around midday due to the body’s circadian rhythm, so try to squeeze in a little physical activity at that time.

5. It Can Boost Your Self-Confidence

Struggling with self-esteem? Hop on the treadmill, but not for the reasons you think! Fitness doesn’t just mean losing weight. It can also just make you feel good about yourself, thanks to the positive hormones it releases. This leads to better self-worth, self-image, and confidence. Better yet, these results remain the same regardless of:

Bodyweight
Gender
Age
Size
Original fitness level

What does this mean? You don’t have to be a super fit Instagram model to feel good after exercising! No matter your outer appearance, a workout at the gym or even at home can make you feel like a million bucks.

6. It Reduces The Risk Of Cognitive Decline

Many people fear the onset of cognitive decline as they age. Unfortunately, that’s often a standard degenerative result of growing older, as certain diseases begin to shrink the brain and kill brain cells, taking away numerous cognitive functions in the process.

Luckily, research indicates that exercise can have a positive effect on this kind of degeneration. It can protect the hippocampus by increasing cell production and engaging the memory center, allowing for better preservation of cognitive function over time.

Of course, it’s worth noting that there’s no real way to “cure” cognitive decline, and these types of diseases aren’t reversible. However, exercise can considerably slow their effects, and working out in advance at a younger age can reduce your overall risk of developing such problems as you get older.

7. It Makes You More Creative

Few people can see an immediate connection between heavily sweating and puffing at the gym and then painting a beautiful portrait at home. But, as it turns out, exercise really does make you creative as well as increase mental health!

Studies have found that those who exercise experience a two-hour creativity increase right after the fact, regardless of that individual’s actual state of mind or mood. So capitalize on post-workout time by doing something creative, or get your creative juices flowing by going for a walk!

8. It Brings Down Stress Levels and Increase Mental Health

Exercise is a fantastic way to relieve stress. The effort involved works up a decent sweat and helps you expel nervous and tense energy healthily and easily. Plus, as far as stress-related coping mechanisms go, it’s a great one to have.

The American Psychological Association supports this idea. It states that exercise can increase norepinephrine concentration. Norepinephrine is one of the chemicals that helps with stress response moderation, and having enough of it has great effects on positive thinking and stress levels. It allows you to handle tension and difficult situations better!

9. It Improves Brain Power

The act of exercising can make your brain more powerful – or, at least, that’s what experts think based on the limited research available. Judge the results for yourself; here are some of the most prominent studies on the topic!

“Aerobic exercise is the critical variable in an enriched environment that increases hippocampal neurogenesis and water maze learning in male C57BL/6J mice,” published in Neuroscience (2012). This study found that exercise is the key factor in boosting the overall brain power and performance of mice, specifically improving their learning and brain cell generation.
“Aerobic exercise improves hippocampal function and increases BDNF in the serum of young adult males,” published in Physiology & Behavior (2011). According to this research paper, aerobic exercise can create brain cells at a faster rate, especially in the hippocampus, which is responsible for learning and memory. It also increases BDNF, or brain-derived protein, levels in the body.
“Short bouts of mild-intensity physical exercise improve spatial learning and memory in aging rats: involvement of hippocampal plasticity via AKT, CREB and BDNF signaling” published in Mechanisms of Ageing and Development (2011). In elderly rats, this study found that running for approximately five minutes multiple times a week over the course of five weeks could lead to significantly boosted brainpower. This was thanks to an increase in BDNF molecule production in their brains’ memory centers, leading to their performance on par with younger rats!

10. It Improves Your Ability To Sleep

Do you ever notice how easy it is to fall asleep after a good workout? As it turns out, this is about more than just general tiredness. Exercise causes an increase in body temperature that energizes and wakes up the body, but eventually that temperature slowly begins dropping back to normal.

When your temperature hits its usual coolness, your body automatically receives a signal: it’s time to sleep! This is so effective that even those with chronic insomnia can receive these positive effects. It’s recommended that you exercise about five or six hours before bedtime to receive the signal at the right moment.

11. It Can Inspire You And Those Around You as Well as Increase Mental Health

In most studies, it’s clear that being paired up with someone results in better exercise performance. This means that working out with others can inspire them, making you feel great about yourself. And of course, as part of that group, you will also be inspired by the people exercising around you. This may be due to these factors:

You experience positive and healthy competition with your exercise buddies, spurring each other to do better
The effort of your exercise buddies inspires you, and they are inspired by your efforts, in turn
Being in a team has been scientifically proven to increase pain tolerance, meaning you and your exercise buddies have a higher chance of pushing yourselves to further and more effective limits

12. It Can Help Fight Addiction

Addiction often forms due to the feel-good hormones released in the body when you engage in unhealthy food consumption, drug usage, alcohol abuse, or intimacy. Luckily, exercise produces similar hormones that can make you feel just as positive! Studies have found that it can effectively help recovering addicts overcome their addictions. This is because it can do the following things:

Distract addicts
De-prioritize certain cravings in the short-term
Provide the hit of dopamine that many addicts receive from their vices
Balance out bodily processes and functions disrupted by addiction

Of course, keep in mind that there is no fast-track solution to overcoming addiction. It takes professional help, positive thinking, and awareness to fight that mental health problem, but exercise can certainly add help to the battle!

Final Thoughts On How Exercising Can Increase Mental Health

A healthy body means a healthy mind, so it’s no surprise that exercise is a fantastic way to increase mental health. Add it to your daily routine, and you’ll be impressed by how much better you feel!

Psychology Reveals What Makes A Narcissist Change (Or Not)

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you’ve ever been involved or related to a manipulative person, do you often wonder what makes a narcissist change? Many believe that these people are lock into a pattern of unsavory qualities that they can never alter. Some experts think that once this person is set into their devious ways, there’s no changing them.

The narcissist is hard to deal with on a good day. They like to dominate the conversations as well as make outlandish demands to gain attention. They will lie and manipulate to get ahead in life, and they are not above throwing you under the bus to keep their wrongdoings secret.

If you’re in a relationship or have this person in your family, will all your interaction with them be turbulent? While these people are often painted in dim light, they can have redeeming qualities too. Plus, what makes a narcissist change their ways may be time and their decisions in life.

Does Growth Change Your Personality?

A study brings some hope to those who must deal with these devious people regularly. The University of Mannheim did a study that looked in-depth at the characteristics of the manipulator. This analysis is that so many of today’s youth are presenting with symptoms of a narcissist, and they wanted to track changes.

Researchers want to see if these individuals can turn the spotlight off themselves and focus on others’ needs. Though previous studies have shown that narcissism is more prevalent in today’s society, no one has ever followed these behavioral patterns from childhood through adulthood.

The researchers followed people diagnosed from age 18 through 41. With data collected, they could see if people become less narcissistic overtime or more manipulative. The unique thing about personalities is that they can change as a person learns and grows.

A teenager reaching the threshold of adulthood at 18 will not be or act the same when they are 35 years old. Life’s circumstances and things like their job, family, and friends can play a big part in their personality changes. Are you the same person you were when you reached the magical age of 18?

Of course, you’re not the same. Nobody acts or thinks like they did when they first got out of high school. Though it’s a milestone to graduate and enter the “real world,” there are still many lessons to be learned. Each choice you make helps to define your character as well as mold your personality.

Take, for instance, a person who is hired to make sales. They need to open up and talk to the public to be successful. They learn how to work the crowd to gain customers. This job type can undoubtedly turn a shy person into a more outgoing one by motivating them with money.

A Study of Temperament Alterations

Using this basis, the researchers wanted to see if these people’s life choices helped further or hinder their personality development. The research used 519 people, a mix of male and female, to measure their narcissism. The evaluators looked deeply at the life events that had occurred in each person’s life. Things measured were:

•Marriages and serious relationships

•New job or career paths

•Health problems

•Serious injuries

•Loss of friends or loved ones

Participants had to rank these events as they correlated with their life. They were required to mark if it had a positive or negative effect on them. Could these events be what makes a narcissist change?

Time for Self Evaluation

Using the basis for this study, evaluate your life. What events would you say define you as a person? Are you married with children, or have you chosen the single life? Do you have a good job, or have you struggled to make it financially?

Do you have a supportive family unit, or are your friends more relatives to you? All these things can have a significant impact on the way a person acts and reacts to stressors. Someone who has a good support system may experience a loss or financial woes, but they know that they have someone standing behind them.

It makes all the difference in what happens next. Narcissism is a personality disorder that often develops from a deep-seated need for acceptance. This study was about to prove if outlying factors could help someone change these evil and manipulative ways.

A Comprehensive Look at Outlying Factors

There were many factors on the examination that gave researchers the data they needed. Everyone has things in their life that they cannot control. The study looked at the prestige of each person’s life.

• Job and Career Path

Researchers wanted to know if they had a degree, finished high school, and what type of job they held. Were they respected in their employment and had supervisory responsibilities? Did they bring home a good salary? Each participant then rated their satisfaction in this area of life.

When a person is not satisfied with their job, it can make them miserable. Think about your current position; are you happy with your pay, title, and achieved success? It certainly can be a significant factor in your personality if you must go to a job each day that you loathe.

If a person feels underappreciated, underpaid, and like they’re not living up to their full potential, it’s easy to see how it can take a toll on your temperament.

• Relationships

When considering what makes a narcissist change, relationships were another aspect that they evaluated. Evaluators asked participants about their relationship status. Were they married with children or single parents?

It’s easy to see how this could significantly impact an individual’s personality. Think about your life. If you were in an abusive marriage, it would affect you negatively. However, if you had a partner that doted on you and were your best friend, then your answer would be more favorable.

Researchers need to see if these people were in what they called “an ideal union” or if they were unlucky in love. The single parents who struggle every day aren’t going to answer the same person who has a spouse who handles 50 percent of the load.

• Health

The final part of the evaluation process to see what makes a narcissist change was about health. If you don’t think health can significantly impact your temperament, then ask someone who has had cancer, lupus, or another debilitating condition. When you’re sick and tired all the time, you don’t feel like going out and socializing or keeping your social life hopping.

Another part of the data needed was to see if the people were overweight. Did you know that there are direct links between depression and obesity? Poor body image may be a motivating factor behind the narcissist as they feel they need to compensate for their perceived negative image.

People who have frequent hospital and doctor visits and those on many medications all held important clues into life changes that affect personality.

After giving all these participant details a comprehensive look, the researchers could make an informed opinion. There was a measurable decline in narcissism scores as a person ages. The study shows that this manipulative personality peaks in the early adulthood years, but it seems to lesson as many enter the real world.

People who ranked higher on the narcissism scale held supervisory positions where they had the power to manipulate. People with children didn’t have the vanity issues that those without offspring held. Indeed, child-rearing seems to foster humility.

The Takeaway on A Narcissist’s Ability to Change

The good news from this study is that there is hope if you’re dealing with a manipulative person. It appears that what makes a narcissist change is a good dose of life and a swift kick from the real world. Life has a way of knocking an individual back into reality and giving them new perceptions with each event.

While this may not explain a person who’s 40 or 50 years of age and still acting devious, it certainly gives hope to the younger generation. Another interesting theory is that children tend to be a bit more “self-centered” because they lack the life experiences necessary to humble them.

An 18-year-old fresh out of high school thinks they know it all and are ready to take the world by storm. However, once they learn how scary responsibility can be and pay pills while juggling 100 other things, it has a way of sobering you. With each storm of life comes lessons that you learn.

Life’s events won’t change an authentic personality disorder, but it does help. There’s still the need for therapy and treatment when someone is so manipulative that they destroy the relationships around them. Thankfully, what makes a narcissist change is growing up. So, there’s always hope.

Stop Giving Energy to Negative People If You Want to Be Happier

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

There are two kinds of people in this world, those who are positive and those who are negative. Your personal energy is affected by who has the most substantial influence over you. If you want to be happier, you can stop giving your power to negative people.

Sometimes, this task isn’t as easy as it seems. You may have a choice of friends who are in your life, but you can’t choose your family. Your job may also require you to interact with coworkers and customers that you would usually avoid in your personal life.

When you are around people with positive attitudes, they boost your energy and make you feel joyful. Negative people zap your strength and joy as they drain your energy. You can be happier when you deflect their toxic influence, whether they’re family, co-workers, or friends.

How have your energy levels been lately? Are you living each day to the fullest, or are you barely existing? If you have too many negative people surrounding you, their toxic attitude may be bringing you down.

Ways to Keep Negative People from Draining Your Energy

Are you ready to be happier and enjoy your life again? Like Dorothy’s magical red shoes in the Wizard of Oz, you’ve had the power all along to do it. Here are some tips to nix the energy drain from negative people in your world.

• You Can’t Change Them

Negative people have often wallowed in their misery for so long that it’s a comforting habit. Unless they decide to make a change in their attitude and situations, they will not change. It’s a waste of your precious time and energy to make toxic people change.

Isn’t it strange that those with toxic attitudes don’t seek the same? Since their energy is depleted with negativity and self-pity, they often gravitate to positive people. It’s usually not to change, but they want to latch onto you and drain your energy.

• Set Boundaries

It’s difficult when you have family or co-workers who create a toxic atmosphere. Fortunately, you may only have to deal with that negative relative at family gatherings. When the workday is finished, you can leave the toxic co-worker at the office.

No matter who the negative influence is in your life, setting boundaries can help you be happier and energetic. Toxic people demand attention and are a constant drain on your time and resources. They can only push you as far as you will allow.

You have the right to set boundaries and draw the line regarding what you find acceptable in a personal or professional relationship. See what a difference it makes in your life when you learn how to say “no.” You needn’t be a doormat or the burden-bearer of people who are always negative.

Don’t make yourself available to these people. If they violate one boundary, they will keep doing it. Realize that although you are a caring person, you can’t save people from themselves.

Stop answering the phone when that dreaded family member or friend calls to bellyache. If you are caught in a face-to-face conversation that’s going south, change the subject. People who can’t respect boundaries should be avoided.

• Stay Off the Stage

Negative people thrive on attention, and they are continually re-writing their dramatic stories. They wouldn’t love anything more than to make you a character in their tales of woe. Sometimes they will appeal to your good nature and generosity.

No matter the crisis, real or imagined, these toxic directors want you on stage with them. They desperately need your energy, so they will often create drama to snag you in the picture. While you don’t want to seem heartless, you can’t fix everyone’s problems.

Recognize manipulative people for who they are. As they are drowning in their sorrow, don’t get caught in the negative whirlpool. You’ll be happier if you step away from theater and let them have the center stage of their melodrama.

• Focus on Yourself

When someone has you trapped in their negative sphere, they want all your attention. They are like vampires who drain you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If you allow them enough influence, you’ll soon lose sight of yourself.

Decide to be happier and focus on your needs for a change. Just because you love yourself and see to your needs doesn’t make you a narcissist. It makes you a person who is practical and wants to have a more positive energy flow.

Be kind to yourself and engage in things that make you feel joyful. Enjoy some of your favorite hobbies, or spend some time relaxing and pampering yourself. Consider practicing yoga, meditation, and visualization to concentrate on the positive things you love about your life.

• Avoid Projection from Negative People

One of the many characteristics you’ll notice about negative people is their skewed thinking. When they are confronted with mistakes or shortcomings, they won’t own it. Instead, they will often shift the blame to somebody else.

They are never at fault for any of the mishaps in their lives. Their pessimistic outlook compels them to blame others for their misery and unhappiness. The toxic people in your life may try to project their pain and frustrations onto you.

Rather than to accept that they’ve made mistakes and take any responsibility, they may make you the target of their anger. Refuse to be a target and speak your mind. For your own sake, walk away from this toxic relationship before you end up the same way.

• Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Unlike negative people, those with a positive outlook know how to evaluate themselves honestly. We are all humans who make mistakes and have shortcomings. When you can admit your weaknesses, you’ve already identified an undeniable strength.

Toxic people like to focus on your flaws and past mistakes. By trying to make you look bad, they think it makes themselves look better. Instead, it makes them look like an obnoxious jerk, but they won’t see it.

When you take ownership of your weaknesses, negative people lose their leverage. Not only do you acknowledge your shortcomings, but you are learning from them. Such a positive take will deflate toxic people and allow you to be happier in the long run.

• Refocus Your Thoughts

How do you survive in a whirlwind of negative people? You may not have the ability to change a situation, but you can decide how you think about it. Instead of submitting to a negative attitude, try to look at the situation in a positive light.

• Don’t Back Down

Once you have set boundaries in a personal or professional relationship, don’t back down from them. When negative people don’t get their way, their obnoxious behavior may escalate to manipulate you. They don’t like the word “no,” and they pout and may get belligerent if they don’t get their way.

A key to remember about negative people is that they only have power over you if you let them. When you stop listening to their sob stories and refuse to be manipulated, they will move on. It’s your way of letting them know that their negative tactics won’t work anymore.

Pin It

• Save Your Fire for What Matters

Negative people often try to drag others into their drama by starting arguments. A battle of the minds with these people takes a lot of time and energy. Choose your battles wisely, and don’t take the bait.

They will often broach highly personal and controversial subjects, such as politics, religion, and sex. Their negative slant and inflammatory language are usually meant to antagonize you. Do yourself a favor and avoid conversations with them, if possible.

Malicious gossipers and backbiters generate the worst type of negativity. If you can’t get them to change the subject, say that you don’t talk about others like that. They’ll get the picture and will seek someone else for their toxic news.

• Surround Yourself with Positive People

Have you ever noticed how bright a single candle is in a dark room? Positive attitudes repel the dark, gloomy shadows of negativity. If you want to be happier, try to surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good. A positive atmosphere will shut down a negative person quickly.

One way to create a more healthy, positive atmosphere is to eliminate harmful and toxic people from your life. Of course, it won’t be easy if it’s a loved one or a long-time friend. Until they change for the better and stop dragging you down, keep away from their influence.

How do you recognize positive people? These are folks who are genuine, kind, loyal, and can laugh at themselves. Positive people don’t live in a fake Pollyanna world, but they can still see the cloud’s silver lining.

Final Thoughts on Avoiding Negative People

If you want to be happier and have a fulfilling life, avoid the influence of negative people. Instead, focus your time and energy on the positive. Even in the heaviest of life’s storms, a smile and a positive attitude can be the anchor you need to stay afloat.

You Lost An Amazing Person, And This Time It’s For Good

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

You had your last chance with an amazing person. But now, you finally did it. You broke the last straw, and now your partner is gone for good. There are no more second, third, or fourth chances. This was it.

Your partner was a beautiful soul and an inspirational spirit. Someone who could cause miracles with a simple smile. A person whose light shined so brightly that it illuminated all the darkness you brought into the relationship. Your partner outshined you, but instead of absorbing that illustrious light, you wanted to dim it.

This time, you did more than dim the light. You put it out. You burned the candle all the way to the last part of the wick. You cannot relight it. Your partner left, and it did not need to be that way. Now it’s time to examine where things went wrong. Only then can you put together the pieces of your life and move on.

Instead of looking at this relationship as a failure, think of it as an opportunity to reboot your life and get back on track.

Self Reflection: Why did your partner leave?

Let’s look at some of the things that might have gone sideways in your relationship. Only once you identify the issues can you make smarter decisions when you meet a new person.

1 – Did you cherish your partner?

You could have cherished your partner. You could have appreciated everything that wonderful person gave to you. Oh my…they gave you so much.

Love, peace, acceptance, kindness, understanding, and motivation are only a few of the gifts that you took for granted. Your partner gave you so much. Your partner gave and gave, and you took it all, never giving anything in return. To make it even worse, you gave it all away. Perhaps you recognize now that you tossed these gifts to the side, thinking that there would always be more.

Now you know better. There is an end for unappreciative people, and you have reached it. This is one race that you ran and came in the first place, but the prize was not a prize at all. You ran the wrong race, and now instead of winning, you are paying. You are paying big time.

How to show your next partner how much they mean to you.

Your partner wants to know that you cherish, respect, and will always protect their feelings. Keep this lesson in mind for the next time that you fall in love. Here are some ways to show your next love interest that you really do value them:

Carve out time for them, even when you are very busy with work, family, or other obligations. No excuses. Your time is proof that you care.
Plan special outings or dates. Think of a picnic at their favorite park, movie tickets for two in their favorite genre, or even a day trip to a local tourist site. Plan these dates according to your love’s interests–not yours.
Send your new love a special text or DM for no special reason. This gesture tells them how much you treasure them.
Give your new love your undivided attention. Switch off the smartphone and pay attention. Look into their eyes when they are speaking.
Learn to become an attentive listener. Restate the key points of what they say to you to ensure full understanding. Mirror their gestures, so they see you are tuned into them.

2 – Did you think the grass was greener on the other side?

They say that sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, but you seemed to have skipped over the word sometimes. What you failed to realize is that you were already on the other side. Your grass was the greenest.

What was so special about that other side? What did you feel you were lacking? Was it worth losing everything? Was it worth giving up all the good times, all the special moments, and future possibilities? Now all you have left are memories and ghosts. I bet when you remember, you will see all that green grass that you previously ignored.

While some very forgiving people can forgive a cheater, most will not tolerate that behavior. Now that you learned that lesson the hard way, look inside yourself. You have a critical question to answer:

Why is it that you were not satisfied?

Here is the real question. It would help if you dug deep inside to determine why you cheated. Perhaps this amazing person was not the right one for you. When you find love again, find someone with the qualities that will keep you happy forever.

3 – Were you incompatible with this person?

These days, it is almost impossible to find a compatible partner for a relationship. That is something your partner now realizes more than ever, thanks to you. Hopefully, you have not scarred your partner for life, and they will be open to finding the right one. After all, they deserve happiness, not the mistreatment you gave them.

But was your behavior an indicator that the two of you were really incompatible?

The next time you take a chance on love, look for someone who shares your dreams, goals, and values. While opposites might attract, it takes two people striving for a common goal to build long-lasting love. So if that’s what you really want, then compatibility becomes ever-so-important.

Signs of compatibility

Here are eight primary signs that prove someone is compatible with you:

You share common hobbies or interests. Life is more fun when you have someone to explore it with!
Your partner inspires you to become your best self. Indeed, you greatly care about their opinion of you.
Each of you accepts the other just how you are. Trying to change someone will backfire every time.
Both of you want to make plans to build a life together. You cannot imagine walking down the path without this special someone by your side.
You love each other without any strings attached. Love should never be a quid pro quo scenario.
You want to impress your love’s family. Family is everything, and you know, someday you’ll need that support system.
Your friends and family like your significant other. When they blend into your group seamlessly, it makes life easier. Your relatives and buddies know that this is a person who is good for you, gaining them instant acceptance.
Both of you also value alone time. You are secure in a compatible relationship. So you don’t fear cheating or other misconduct. This security allows you to take the time to yourself that you might need to recharge your batteries from time to time.

4 – Did you learn your lesson–and now you’re ready to move on?

If you are ready to start healing and be better, you will search within yourself to find and fix the problems. That is assuming that you have accepted the fact that you are the problem. If you had accepted this sooner, your partner might still be around. However, you did not, so it is too late to fix that relationship. Fix yourself for the future.

Yes, you have ruined things between you and your partner, but you may still be able to change for the better (assuming you want to). This is not “another chance” with that person because those are over.

Think of this opportunity as a remaking of yourself–a reboot, if you will. You are alone now, so you can start from the ground and become a whole new you. It would be best if you start by practicing being grateful for all the blessings in your life. Gratitude makes you happier, which fosters an appreciation for those you cherish.

Remember that people are not your doormat. Treat them kindly and with respect. Treating others well helps you remember that people have feelings, and it acknowledges that their feelings are important. Finally, treating others well will make you better for the next person.

Final Thoughts on Losing Your Special Person–and the Chance to Reboot

You probably never thought you would feel this way when they left. You thought it would be no big deal and that they would come running back like always. This time, you got it all wrong. Your partner has had enough, and the relationship is over.

It is a tough fact to accept. Yes, it hurts like a broken bone, and it is a wound that may never fully heal. But you do really regret your role in this. So you will take the steps you need to take to do better in the future.

So move on. But learn from your mistakes. You will do better the next time you find love. Perhaps when you are lucky enough or blessed enough to find another, you will learn from your mistakes and treat them much better. That newfound positivity and awareness of your mistakes will help you build a better relationship in the future.

Researchers Suggest That The Middle Sibling Is Usually The Troublemaker

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Are you the middle sibling in your family? If not, perhaps you know someone who is in the middle of their sibling group. Is there any truth to the theory that kids born in the middle suffer from “middle child syndrome?”

When there are both older and younger siblings, it’s believed that the kids in the middle feel ignored or excluded due to their birth order. As a result, many children develop specific personality traits as part of this syndrome. However, some believe this is just an old theory that has no psychological basis.

The first child often is doted on by parents as it’s a new and exciting experience. The middle child is still important, but the parents become more seasoned with their skills and don’t use such a hands-on approach.

By the time the baby comes along, the parents have grown older and more relaxed in their child-rearing ways. Perhaps, much of what is thought of as a syndrome is nothing more than the shift of parenting techniques.

Is Middle Child Syndrome Real?

Did you know that your birth order can have everything to do with your personality development? Back in 1964, a man named Alfred Adler studied this theory. He believed that the order in which a child is born could greatly impact their psychological development.

At the time, such a theory was widely unaccepted as mental health and psychological studies weren’t as commonplace. However, as the years have passed, the theories he discovered have been proven. Here are some of the common personality characteristics that he believed:

• Oldest Sibling

This child feels more powerful and is often the authority figure among the sibling group. The parents put high expectations on this kid because they are experimenting and learning with their roles. It’s common to see this individual as a leader and clear the path for the other siblings.

•Middle Sibling

This kid is wedged in the middle, and they will have a hard time finding their place in life. They are stuck between the oldest and the baby, and they will vie for their parents’ attention. Though they are usually even-tempered, they can have issues from being often overlooked.

•Youngest Sibling

The youngest kid gets the beauty of being the last child born into the family. Parents are usually laxer by this time, and they’re often spoiled. Children who fall into this category often grow up with a sense of entitlement and are coddled and catered to throughout life.

Characteristics of The Middle Sibling

Many psychologists studied the impact of birth order on the middle sibling and personality tendencies. Here are some of the common conceptions about this child in the sibling order.

•Temperament

It’s not uncommon for the middle sibling to feel that the other children in the home overshadow them. Since the older sibling tends to have a stronger personality, and the baby is coddled, the middle child feels stuck trying to find their place.

The personality of this kid is often more muted. Since these individuals often feel out of place, they tend to be quiet and remain even-tempered.

•Relationships

It’s no secret that middle siblings have a hard time feeling equal to the other children in the home. Most older children get more responsibilities because of their age. The younger child gets plenty of attention because they’re the baby.

The middle child doesn’t get the extra privileges or attention, so they often have difficulty with relationship development. They may grow up feeling less than even though nothing could be further from the truth. In most cases, their perception is off.

•Competition

Being in the middle isn’t always a great place to be. This child feels that everything in their life is a competition, so they naturally grow up competitive. Some take on being a peacemaker because being wedged between other siblings puts them on neutral ground.

•Nepotism

According to the middle child’s views, they feel the older kid is special because they were first. The youngest child is also special because they are the baby. The middle kid feels that they have no redeeming position or place to make them favored. Since they are “in-between kid,” they struggle for their parent’s attention, and these perceptions can cause issues all through life.

Does Middle Child Syndrome Affect Adults Too?

Can middle child syndrome be an issue that lasts into adulthood? If the theories presented by Alfred Adler are true, then these issues can have a cascade of adverse effects that will follow these people into their adult life. The personality and relationship traits that one develops in childhood almost always follow them as they age.

Middle children often express feelings of neglect. So, in their adult relationship, it’s common for them to struggle with issues of co-dependency. If they felt like the referee between the oldest and youngest siblings, they might carry these peacemaker ways into adulthood.

Being a peacemaker isn’t a negative trait, and it can be amazingly effective in the business setting. Sadly, they might have a dulled personality when being compared to others around them. If they have a best friend, they may doubt their sincerity or ever feeling worthy enough for that title.

The Science Behind Birth Orders

Though Alfred Adler made some astounding statements for his time, researchers today still study the relationship of the middle child and the birth order. A study showed that the middle sibling is more apt to develop conditions like:

•Obsessive compulsive disorder

•Schizophrenia

•Depression

•Eating disorders such as anorexia

•Autism

•Anxiety disorders

The Role of the Middle Sibling in Birth Order, According to Science

Since the middle child often feels neglected or left out, they often hold troubles inside and don’t want to talk to their parents. One study found that children born in the middle position don’t feel comfortable talking to their parents about important matters, such as sex education and development.

The study evaluated over 15,000 people who were born as the middle child. Using analysis from both male and female participants, they found that 29 percent of women and 21 percent of men found such matters hard to discuss. Though their parents never discouraged the conversations, they did not feel close enough to chat about such topics.

Does the middle child feel that they can turn to their parents in times of adversity? A study in 2016 found that the middle sibling doesn’t feel close enough to either their mom or dad to consider them a confidant. Additionally, they found that these children were less family-oriented than other siblings in the order. Do years of being felt like they don’t fit take a toll on their relationships?

Is it any wonder that these individuals develop an obsessive-compulsive disorder as they feel that they must plan things to dictate their outcome? Though research helps to understand the individual’s position in this birth order, many other factors come into play regarding the development of personality.

Middle Siblings and Depression

What about birth order and depression? A study in 2003 found that middle children were more likely to develop depression than other kids. Nevertheless, when they conducted a follow-up to this research, they found that it didn’t single out the middle child as much as the kids born later in life.

However, they added that the increase of psychiatric disorders in adolescence increased when children felt disenfranchised by their family unit.

There are hundreds of studies on this subject, and each one has contradictory results. So, it’s not easy to determine if middle child syndrome exists or if it’s just a figment of the imagination.

The probability remains that many factors determine a person’s temperament, mental health, and connection with others. While birth order may have some bearing, it shouldn’t be considered the deciding factor.

Final Thoughts on The Middle Sibling

Psychologists and the public like to throw around the term middle child syndrome, but research is contradictory. There are defining factors in the birth order that can impact a child’s life, but it doesn’t mean they will follow them through adulthood.

Ultimately, one’s development’s temperament and the outcome are various aspects, including social status, family unit, economic factors, and genetics. Birth order is important, but it’s not the only thing that must be considered.

A middle sibling can have mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, personality syndromes, and even develop eating disorders. Consequently, those issues can also happen to the first or the last-born child too. Some middle kids might be troublemakers rather than peacemakers, and there’s no rhyme or reason to why they don’t follow perceptions.

Though many kids might fit into the beliefs established by Alfred Adler so many years ago, there’s not enough research to back up these theories to establish them as fact.

Tree Rings May Reveal Evidence of Supernova Activity

November 22, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

New research by University of Colorado Boulder geoscientist Robert Brakenridge shows that tree rings may hold evidence of massive space explosions. When a huge star dies off, it emits high levels of gamma radiation into the cosmos. However, these colossal explosions don’t only affect space. Additionally, they leave permanent records in Earth’s geology as well. A November 4, 2020 study in the International Journal of Astrobiology reveals that plants may keep records of these celestial explosions.

“These are extreme events, and their potential effects seem to match tree ring records,” explained geoscientist Robert Brakenridge of the University of Colorado Boulder.

The study analyzes supernovas’ effects, which astrophysicists describe as some of the most violent events in outer space. To give you an idea of the magnitude of one of these explosions, picture this. A single supernova explosion can release as much energy in a few months as the Sun does during its entire lifespan. Not surprisingly, supernovas also emit a huge amount of light into space.

Brakenridge, a senior research associate at the Institute of Arctic and Alpine Research (INSTAAR) at CU Boulder, further noted the following:

“We see supernovas in other galaxies all the time.Through a telescope, a galaxy is a little misty spot. Then, all of a sudden, a star appears and may be as bright as the rest of the galaxy.”

Scientists don’t know exactly how often these supernova explosions happen in our galaxy. Various studies estimate that one to three supernovas occur each century. However, records show the most recent one exploded over 400 years ago. A supernova explosion occurring near Earth could easily put an end to human civilization. However, even if they explode farther away, the supernova can still damage our ozone layer. Furthermore, it emits dangerous levels of radiation, albeit not enough to totally wipe us out.

Scientists have a hard time spotting supernovas since their brightness varies over time. However, Brakenridge and his team thought looking a bit closer to Earth may yield some evidence of these explosions. They decided to look through Earth’s records of tree rings in hopes of finding evidence of supernovas. Their findings revealed that relatively close supernovas might have caused at least four climate disruptions on Earth in the last 40,000 years.

Radiocarbon holds the key to understanding supernova activity.

Brakenridge explained that radiocarbon, a carbon isotope occurring in only trace amounts on Earth, provides evidence of supernovas. Radiocarbon only forms when cosmic rays from outer space penetrate our atmosphere frequently. Since this radiation constantly occurs in space, Earth always gets a dose of it in varying amounts. When these cosmic rays enter the upper atmosphere, they collide with nitrogen atoms, producing a nuclear reaction which results in radiocarbon.

“There’s generally a steady amount year after year,” Brakenridge said. “Trees pick up carbon dioxide, and some of that carbon will be radiocarbon.”

However, the radiocarbon recorded in the trees varies depending on cosmic events. Scientists hypothesize that solar flares and storms may explain the random spikes in this isotope occurring over several years, then fading again. Brakenridge and his team believe these spikes in radiocarbon may occur due to much more distant space activity.

“There are really only two possibilities: A solar flare or a supernova,” he said. “I think the supernova hypothesis has been dismissed too quickly.”

The study

To test their theory, he and his team analyzed tree ring records. The first compiled a list of recorded supernovae in the past 40,000 years, as observed in remnants of stars. Next, the scientists compared this list to records of radiocarbon spikes occurring in tree rings during the same period of time.

They discovered that unexplained spikes in radiocarbon levels corresponded with the right closest supernova to Earth.

The team focused on four that stood out the most:

The Vela supernova, once 815 light-years from Earth, exploded around 13,000 years ago. Tree ring records showed a 3 percent rise in radiocarbon around the same time. However, the Vela explosion date could have occurred 1,500 years later or earlier, as scientists can only estimate the timing.
The 3+00.3 supernova exploded around 7,700 years ago. It once sat at a distance of around 2,300 light-years from Earth and corresponded with a 2 percent rise.
Vela Jr. could have occurred 2,800 years ago, although scientists have a hard time pinpointing the exact time. It corresponded with a 1.4 percent radiocarbon spike.
Lastly, HB9, which exploded 5,400 years ago at 1,000 to 4,000 light-years from Earth, caused a 0.9 percent uptick in radiocarbon.

While researchers can’t yet draw conclusive evidence from tree rings, the evidence so far seems promising. Their main difficulty lies in accurately dating the supernovae, but Brakenridge believes the findings so far warrant further research. Brakenridge said:

“What keeps me going is when I look at the terrestrial record and I say, ‘My God, the predicted and modelled effects do appear to be there’.”

If they can find more precise ways to date supernova activity, tree rings could provide great insight into these celestial events. Then, perhaps we can learn more about any supernovae that may threaten Earth soon.

Brakenridge hopes that humanity won’t have to deal with any exploding stars anytime soon. However, some astronomers think they’ve found evidence that Betelgeuse, a red giant star in the constellation Orion, might explode soon. It sits at only 642.5 light-years from Earth, which is much closer than Vela. However, no studies or findings have been published yet about this hypothesis.

“We can hope that’s not what’s about to happen because Betelgeuse is really close,” he said.

Final Thoughts on What the Tree Rings May Reveal

Scientists have found that tree rings may hold clues of past supernova activity. A geoscientist from CU Boulder believes that spikes in radiocarbon in tree rings correspond with known supernovae in the past 40,000 years. While research linking these events remains in its infancy, it could help scientists analyze supernova activity more extensively in the future.

10 Surprising Things Most People Can’t Do

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Everyone has a unique talent, but did you know some people can do strange with their bodies that most people can’t do? Here’s the list of the 10 most surprising things most people can’t do. See if you can do them. It is fun to try!

Here Are the Ten Things Most People Cannot Do

“Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh , the Places You’ll Go !

1. Touch your tongue to your nose

If you can touch your tongue to your nose, you are part of a small majority of people. Around 10% of the general population can do this. This ability to do this is called Gorlin’s sign, which means you may have a connective tissue disorder, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, or EDS. This disorder affects your joints, skin, and sometimes your blood vessels. Your joints may have too much flexibility, so they get dislocated easily.

Other symptoms include:

Translucent or glassy-like skin
Elastic skin
Your bruise easily
Dilation of blood vessels
Prone to rupture of blood vessels if not careful

Treatment includes medication and physical therapy or occasionally surgery.

2. Wiggle your ears

Being able to wiggle your ears is unusual. Only 10 to 20% of the population can do it. Because the muscles that control your eye movements affect your ear movements, your ears withdraw a bit when you look left or right. When you swallow, it also affects your ear muscle area. But don’t worry. You can teach yourself how to wiggle your ears! It would help to concentrate on moving your ears without making your eyes go up and down. Practice wiggling your ears using other muscles in your face.

3. Raise one eyebrow

Approximately 30-40% of the population can raise one lone eyebrow. According to research, only one muscle controls both eye movements. It’s thought that people with this ability may have one side of the muscle disconnected, so it’s easier for them to raise one eyebrow. Some people suggest that they really aren’t raising one eyebrow but keeping one eyebrow lower while raising both eyebrows simultaneously, which makes it look like they are raising one eyebrow. If you want, you can train yourself to do this.

4. Fold your tongue in half

Studies show that the ability to fold your tongue in half or twist your tongue is affected by your ability to speak certain languages. These unique tongue movements are also related to your genes. Besides folding your tongue in half, try these other cool tongue-folding ideas

A cloverleaf shape
Double folded tongue
Roll it lengthwise
Twist it upside down

5. Bend your thumb backward

Bending your thumb backward or Hitchhiker’s thumb is hyperextensibility of your thumb. It’s an inherited condition passed down through a gene appropriately named the “Bendy thumb gene.” If you have this condition, your thumb will form a 90 angle across your palm when you rest your hand. Fortunately, Hitchhiker’s thumb doesn’t hurt, and you can still use your thumb without any problems, but you may want to show off your cool-looking thumb to impress your friends.

6. Sneeze with your eyes open

Sneezing with your eyes open is possible, but it takes effort. Sneezing with your eyes closed is an involuntary reflex your body does to keep microbes and dirt from getting in your eyes when you sneeze.

Sneezing is your body’s way of eliminating pollen, dirt, dust, and pet hair in the air. You also sneeze when you have a cold because your nasal cavity gets swollen and more sensitive, triggering a sneeze. One old wife’s tale about sneezing with your eyes open claims that you keep your eyes closed because your eyeballs will fall out if you leave your eyes open. Sneezing with your eyes open is okay, but it may not be healthy since all the stuff you’re sneezing out will get into your eyes.

7. Wiggle your nose

Sorry to burst your bubble. It’s not possible to wiggle your nose. The nose won’t wiggle, but moving your lips back and forth gives the impression of your nose twitching. You can teach yourself to wiggle your nose by looking in the mirror and moving your mouth back and forth quickly. Some people puff out their cheeks from side to side, giving the illusion of nose wiggling. Give it a try!

8. Touch your elbow with your tongue

Only a very few people can touch their tongues to their elbows. Why they want to do, it isn’t important. It seems fun, especially since many people can’t do it. You need to have a smaller forearm and a long tongue to do this trick. But, even with these unique features, you’ll still need flexibility and an extreme desire to show off your unique ability.

9. Perfect pitch

The amazing talent of perfect pitch is scarce. This means that every time you open your mouth to sing, you hit every note correctly. Only 14% of Americans can hit every note perfectly. Interestingly enough, speaking Mandarin can help you have perfect pitch because it has many different tones that train your ear to hear musical notes better. Of course, the downside to having a perfect pitch is that you notice every wrong note someone hits when they sing or play an instrument.

10. Gleek

Gleeking is the ability to shoot water out of your mouth using your tongue. Gleek doesn’t serve a great purpose unless you are a middle-school-age boy who wants to impress your friends. You may accidentally gleek if you have a lot of saliva in your mouth when you sneeze.

Other strange facts about your body that you may not know

The human body is amazing. It can do all kinds of things. Here are some really cool facts about your body you may not know.

You have enough acid in your stomach to dissolve a razor blade:

Your stomach acid is pretty powerful. It has a pH level of 1 or 2, which is really high compared to your blood, 7. 4. Amazingly, your stomach’s lining isn’t bothered by this high acidic level. Just don’t try the razor blade trick to see if they dissolve.

As you age, you become more ambidextrous:

As you age, you become more able to use both hands. One study found that when people are young, they typically have a dominant hand they use, but once they hit 70, they can use either hand. This is primarily because your dominant hand grows weaker as you age, becoming your weaker hand.

Sleep deprivation is more dangerous than not eating:

Did you know that you can last longer not eating than you could not sleep? Going without sleep for a week can make you not totally dysfunctional, while not eating for a week makes you feel tired and weak, but you can still function. You could survive eight or nine weeks without eating if needed, but it’s not recommended.

Fear makes you stronger physically.

When lifting heavy things, you typically only use about 65% of your strength. But if you’re afraid, your body blocks your pain and gives you an adrenaline rush to suddenly lift huge amounts of weight. The stories of mothers lifting a car off of their kids may be a stretch, but there are many amazing stories of how people saved someone’s life by lifting a heavy object off them.

A baby has over 300 bones, but adults only have 206:

So, what happened to all your bones when you grew up? As you grew, many extra bones fused to form single bones. A baby’s head is one example of this. They have a soft spot on their head. This spot eventually goes away around the age of one. The eight small bone segments in the baby’s head fuse.

Your mouth makes enough spit in your lifetime to fill two swimming pools:

Your body averages making 25,000 quarts of salvia in your lifetime. Salvia helps you eat your food, prevents tooth decay, and helps you swallow.

Final Thoughts on Trying These Things That Most People Can’t Do

Can you perform the tricks that most people can’t do? The human body is so amazing.

Some people seem to be able to do strange things with their bodies that others cannot master. Whether you can do some of these ten surprising things or not may be due to your genes. Or you may be able to do them because you’ve practiced them enough to know how to do them. Have some fun and see if you can learn to raise your eyebrow or wiggle your nose just for fun. Who knows, knowing how to do these things could come in handy.

10 Ways to Spot People Who Waste Your Time With Bad Intentions

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Wouldn’t it be a lifesaver if all the good people of the world had halos and those with bad intentions had horns? It would be a lot easier to distinguish who you would allow in your life and those you would avoid. Unfortunately, that’s not an option, and you must watch for red flags and use your intuition to make choices in your inner circle.

Since the beginning, the world has had a diverse mix of good and bad people. Sometimes good people make bad mistakes, and even the most morally corrupt individuals can do a random act of kindness. Nobody enters a personal or professional relationship to be taken advantage of or burned.

Maybe you’re like a lot of folks who think there’s good in everyone and will take your chances. Conversely, you may have survived a toxic relationship that resulted in you building a wall of defense and mistrust. How can you tell if a colleague or a new love interest doesn’t have good intentions?

No one is perfect, and anybody can make a bad decision that unintentionally hurts someone. The difference in character is noted when the person in the wrong apologizes and makes amends, while the toxic individual attempts to shift the blame to you.

Trusting your professional career or your love life to other folks is a gamble. Some people may seem incredible at first until you realize they are really snakes. Their toxicity may bite you before it’s too late.

10 Warning Signs That a Person Has Bad Intentions

You may not see halos or horns to differentiate the good folks from the bad, but there are clues. Some of them may be more subtle than others. Here are ten ways you can spot people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

1. They’re Habitual Liars

Anyone who says they have never told a lie is not being honest. Who hasn’t told a little white lie or stretched the truth a bit to save face or avoid hurting someone? However, it’s a red flag if a colleague or a new love interest is a pathological liar. When everything that comes out of their mouth is a lie, and you’re constantly catching them in mistruths, be assured there are more lies their hiding.

The strange thing about pathological liars is that they will lie about the most insignificant things for the sake of lying. To hide their mounting pile of falsehoods, they must tell more untruths. You may get a significant clue if you hear them telling friends and family things you know aren’t accurate.

2. They Enjoy Other People’s Pain

Someone who derives pleasure from other people hurting is bound to have dark psychological issues. If they’re rolling with laughter after you fell down the stairs or cut your finger, you’re dealing with a toxic person. These types of characters also find great amusement when others make painful mistakes or have a series of misfortunes.

Toxic people are often bitter and jealous of the world. They see people who are happy and prosperous as the enemy who causes their misery. When these perceived enemies have a crisis, the toxic person is often smug and delighted that their misfortune is avenged.

3. They’re Cruel to Animals

Whether it’s a beloved pet or the livestock grazing in the meadow, there is no excuse for animal cruelty. Countless studies on incarcerated murderers show a common link with the animal brutality that morphs human abuse and homicide.

Anybody who could be sadistic enough to harm or torture a defenseless animal would have no qualms about hurting a human. How do they treat pets or animals in the wild they come across? Do they cheerfully hit the accelerator in the car to kill an innocent creature crossing the road?

The first hint of animal cruelty or neglect should be enough for you to stay away from this person and report them to the authorities.

4. They Give Bad Vibes

Although science can’t explain how it works, human intuition is a powerful survival instinct. Have you ever been around people who just left you with a weird impression? Maybe it was nothing apparent, but your gut instinct told you to “beware.”

How do they make you feel when you are together? Do you feel natural and relaxed, or does their presence make you tense? When they touch you, do you feel butterflies in your stomach, or are you overcome with weirdness?

Do yourself a favor and trust your intuition when you have doubts about someone’s character. Some of your trusted friends might be getting the same vibes. Toxic people prey on those who are gullible, so listen to your gut feelings and walk away from the toxicity and bad intentions.

5. Their Humor is Hurtful

Remember the immortal words of Shakespeare that many truths are said in jest. Almost everyone loves people who have a good sense of humor. Even some good-natured teasing is okay if it’s between two close people.

However, toxic people frequently make crude and hurtful remarks while ending them with a “just kidding.” It’s unacceptable for somebody to degrade and hurt you in the pretense of a joke. The same goes for back-handed compliments that add even more humiliation.

These bullies use perverse humor in their evil intentions to control and degrade others.

6. They Show No Remorse or Guilt

While a sociopath is usually someone who has inappropriate emotions in public before thinking, a psychopath’s evil intentions are planned. Suppose you work with someone or have a love interest who is devoid of empathy, you better lookout. They could be a classic psychopath who can deliberately hurt someone without any remorse or guilt.

Not only are people like these toxic in a relationship, but they can also be dangerous. A blend of psychopathy and another severe mental illness could create a perfect storm for a homicidal person. At the first hint of remorseless behavior, you should run.

7. They’re Blatantly Sexist or Racist

Some toxic people don’t even try to hide their hateful sexist or racist attitudes. They may try to justify their obnoxious views by twisting religious texts. You can never be happy around a person making inappropriate hate speech about gender or race.

Keep your distance from people with bad intentions who thrive on creating an atmosphere of ignorance, hate, and intolerance. Refuse to be part of their damaging war against individuals who are different. These people are their own worst enemies, and you don’t need their company.

8. Most People Avoid Them

Over time, toxic people with bad intentions are discovered and shunned. Like most folks, you probably have an obnoxious relative who everybody avoids at family gatherings. Fortunately, you needn’t tolerate a loud and vulgar old uncle but once a year.

You’ll find that many toxic people burn bridges with others in a series of broken relationships. They may not have many friends or relatives who want to be around them. While many people are loners because of preference, toxic people are usually abandoned because of their bad intentions.

9. They’re Users

Beware toxic people who just use others for gain and then toss them aside. If you have a potential love interest, is the new relationship mutual or one-sided? Are you generous with your time and money, but your kindness is never reciprocated?

The classic case of a person with bad intentions is one who plays on your sympathies. They would like you to ignore his toxic and unacceptable behavior, and they will use guilt on you. If you don’t break ties, they will drain you physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially.

10. They’re Manipulators

People with bad intentions are usually master manipulators. Oftentimes, they will gaslight their partners so that they can have control. They may subtly try to get you to doubt yourself while shifting any blame to you.

It won’t be long, and you will have severe issues with self-confidence and your sanity. They may be accepted initially, but you must watch for subtle clues that they’re trying to manipulate you. Perhaps they will try to make you look bad in front of your family and friends. Someone who loves you doesn’t need to control your life.

One of the greatest mistakes people make in a toxic relationship is staying to change the toxic person. Not only is this plan unrealistic, but it also can backfire and keep you shackled in a relationship that is painful and possibly dangerous.

Even if they don’t display all ten of these warning signs, one should be enough to get your attention.

Final Thoughts on Spotting People Who have Bad Intentions

You should never be part of someone’s evil personality or bad intentions. Let these red flags be a warning that tells you not to get involved. When you look for the signs of toxic people and follow your gut feelings, you may save yourself many heartaches and possibly your own life. You don’t need the drama or the toxicity.

15 Reasons People Cheat, According to Psychology

November 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Unfortunately, cheating is quite common in relationships. While there may be reasons men and women cheat, the outcomes are still the same. Both parties get hurt.

Cheating can be quite simple, or it can be complicated. Psychologists have many theories behind the reasons men and women cheat. It may seem that the cheater is simply a jerk or a horrible person, but psychology suggests that these issues may run deeper than that. The next section dives into the psychology behind cheating.

Psychology Behind Cheating

Understanding cheaters can be hard, especially if you’re the one who has been cheated on. Victims often fall into a pattern of blaming themselves, wondering what they did wrong to make the other person cheat. The truth is you can’t make a person cheat. That’s a personal choice that they make due to underlying issues they may have.

According to clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., most people cheat for more than one reason. It’s due to a collection of psychological patterns. These patterns don’t usually have anything to do with the person being cheated on.

Dr. Robin Haight, a clinical psychologist, believes that people who cheat are looking for their partner to make them happy. However, that doesn’t happen, so they end up cheating. It’s not that they want to cheat, it’s that they’re looking for something. “It can get complicated,” says Dr. Haight.

Despite the complicated psychological background of cheaters, there are some surface reasons men and women cheat that are easier to understand. The next section covers 15 of these reasons.

Reasons Men and Women Cheat

1. Lack of communication in the relationship.

It can be incredibly frustrating when there is a lack of communication in a relationship. Without open and honest communication, one or both people in the relationship can feel ignored and unimportant. After dealing with this for an extended period, it can lead to cheating.

Cheating due to a lack of communication is a way that the cheater is expressing themselves. Since they feel they can’t do this with their partner, they find alternative ways to do it. Some people choose drugs or alcohol. Others choose to cheat. Either way, it’s devastating to a relationship.

2. They’re punishing their partner.

As odd as it seems, some people use cheating as a form of punishment to their partner. It could be payback because their partner cheated, or it could be some other reason. What is clear is that the cheater is angry with their partner and this is the way they are showing it.

Sometimes, punishing their partner in secret can be more satisfying than doing it in person. With cheating, the idea of secret infidelity makes the cheater feel better. It’s the feeling of power and control that the cheater likes, not necessarily the infidelity itself.

3. They feel like their partner doesn’t appreciate them.

No one forces anyone to cheat. That’s all a personal decision. However, decisions can be influenced by how a person feels like they’re being treated.

Notice that the sentence says, “feels like”. A person may not be mistreated, but they simply feel like they are for whatever reason. It could be a lack of communication, a lack of passion, or even mental instability.

The point is they feel underappreciated and they probably feel invisible in the relationship. This can lead to infidelity because they simply want to feel wanted or needed.

4. They want to break up, but they don’t know how.

One of the big reasons men and women cheat is that they don’t want to be in their current relationship, but they have no idea how to tell their significant other. They don’t want to hurt their partner and they don’t want to be the bad guy. It’s possible that they don’t want to appear as a failure to others.

Not being upfront about feelings can easily turn a person into a cheater. In this case, they may not even try to hide the cheating very well. They want to get caught so they’ll have a way out of the relationship. Sometimes this is easier than words.

5. The passion disappears from the relationship.

One of the biggest reasons men and women cheat is that passion disappears from the relationship. It’s not that they don’t care about their partner. They may love their partner with everything they have. However, the relationship has just grown stagnant or boring and they can’t figure out how to fix it.

It’s extremely hard to maintain a long term relationship with no passion. Sometimes love simply isn’t enough. Having a good connection and a strong sexual desire is a must. Without it, the relationship will degrade because the romantic needs aren’t being met.

6. The person has commitment issues.

Commitment issues can lead to cheating in a number of different ways. The first is the most obvious, they’re afraid or unwilling to commit. Cheating is basically they’re way of not committing. There is a whole psychological reason behind this and that’s information for another article.

Another way to look at this is that people have different definitions of commitment. Communication problems are usually to blame for the misunderstanding. One person may think a certain stage of the relationship means monogamy while the other doesn’t think the relationship is at that point. Good communication is the best way to avoid this problem.

7. They feel lonely.

Loneliness can make people act out of character. This can be a result of a lack of communication or from the person not getting enough attention from their partner. Humans aren’t meant to be lonely, which is why they seek out meaningful relationships. Friendships help, but interactive romantic relationships are a necessity.

At first, the cheater may feel revitalized. However, after those initial feelings of revitalization disappear, they’re often left feeling confused and lonelier than ever. After all, they didn’t gain the attention from their partner that they really want. This may lead to more cheating in an effort to fill the void.

8. Someone’s needs aren’t being met.

Some people simply aren’t a good fit for each other due to different needs. Sure, they may love each other but one person may be incapable of meeting the other person’s needs. Sometimes, both people can’t meet the other’s needs.

This can manifest itself in many ways. Two people may have different sex drives, different emotional needs, different definitions of the relationship, different religious beliefs, or different desires for the amount of quality time they spend with their significant other. When a person’s needs aren’t being met, it can drive them to cheat.

9. Some people have an unusually high sex drive.

In cases like this, people cheat because they just want to have sex – a lot of it. It doesn’t mean there are problems in the relationship, that their needs aren’t being met, that they’re insecure, or anything else on this list. They just simply can’t control their sexual desires.

This compulsive sexual desire is known as hypersexuality. This behavior is a mental disorder in which the person will need to seek professional help. Often the person will feel ashamed of their behavior so they may hide it as long as possible. Hopefully, they can get the help they need before their relationship is ruined.

10. They have low emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to control and express your emotions properly as well as the ability to properly handle interpersonal relationships. Some people simply don’t have this ability, or they may not be good at it. In other words, they don’t really know themselves well enough to carry on a relationship.

A low emotional intelligence could also result in a person not knowing how to communicate what they really want. This means that their partner won’t know either, so the person ends up cheating due to being bad at communicating.

11. They cheat in an effort to save the relationship.

This may seem backward, but some people cheat to save their relationship. This almost never works, but for some reason, some people think it will. This usually happens because there is a need or needs that aren’t being met, but the cheater still wants to keep the relationship.

Their reasoning is that if they can meet that one needs in some other way, they can live without getting that need from their partner. It almost makes sense except that the cheater must live a double life and when their partner finds out it can ruin the relationship they fought so hard to keep.

12. They may not think that cheating is a big deal.

Just like people have a different definition of commitment, they can have a different definition of cheating. One person may think flirting is cheating while the other thinks it’s harmless. One person may believe that sex without love is not cheating, while the other sees it as a major violation.

This is another communication issue. Most people don’t want to discuss the idea of cheating, but it’s important that couples discuss this early in the relationship, just like they should discuss commitment or any other aspect of the relationship. Making sure you’re on the same page as your partner can help prevent cheating (or point out that your partner has no plans to be faithful).

13. The cheater has low self-esteem.

It may seem strange that low self-esteem could make a person cheat, but it’s not as strange as you think. People with low self-esteem can look for validation by being with as many partners as they can. It’s not that they are trying to add notches to their belts, it that they eventually feel like the person they’re in a relationship with doesn’t really love them.

As insecurities begin to surface and they feel less and less loved, they start seeking attention elsewhere. In the next relationship the same thing will happen. This leads to a vicious cycle of cheating because they never fix their insecurities.

14. The opportunity presents itself.

Some people have exceptionally low will power. If the opportunity to cheat without getting caught presents itself, they’d be more likely to take the opportunity. There may not even be any serious problems in their relationship. They just can’t help themselves.

People like this will almost always feel extremely guilty afterward. They may even end up telling their partner out of guilt. However, this doesn’t mean there was no motivating factor. Any of the reasons men and women cheat listed above could be combined with the opportunity and be enough to push the person over the fence.

15. The cheater is a narcissist.

If the cheater is a narcissist, they probably don’t care how their cheating makes their significant other feel. In fact, they may rationalize the cheating. Even worse, the narcissist may convince their partner that it’s the partner’s fault.

Narcissists are so bad that they may not even attempt to hide their infidelities very well. They are incapable of considering their partner’s feelings. If the cheater is a narcissist, the cheating is probably the least of concerns about the relationship.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Why People Cheat

There are many reasons why men and women cheat, even more than the reason on this list. Cheating almost always has some psychological driving factor behind it. Sometimes it can be a mental or emotional problem (such as in the case of hypersexuality or the case of a narcissist).

No matter what the reason is, it’s still wrong. No one deserves to be in a relationship with someone who will constantly be unfaithful. It may be possible to fix the issues that cause a person to cheat, but they must be willing to work on it and the trust must be restored in the relationship. Psychologists all agree that while it may be hard to repair the damage, it’s not impossible.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!