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4 Habits That Make A Fresh Start Easier

February 2, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Have you ever reached a dead end in your journey, or perhaps gotten an epiphany as you progressed in life? Have you ever wanted to stop your current path and start again? If so, read on!

Starting anew can be frightening and challenging, especially if you don’t know where to begin. Here’s how experts reveal four practical ways to make a fresh start in life.

1. Get In The Right Mindset

Did you know that you need more than one mindset to make a fresh start that involves new goals and directions? If you’re a “full-steam ahead” type of thinking, you might want to stop and reconsider your methods. You need much more guidance if you want positive results, especially if you’re seeking to achieve specific goals.

Research-based science writer and author Peg Streep, also an expert on brain science, goal disengagement, and other psychology topics, states that there are two mindsets needed to achieve goals.

Two types of mindsets:

The first mindset is called the deliberative mindset, which is used when planning and considering your fresh start. This involves:

The gathering of information in multiple different ways
The ability to request and be open to the perspectives and opinions of others
The process of weighing, considering, and plotting different strategies and decisions
The necessary thought for determining each option and its feasibility
The process of networking and learning
Realism, logic, and rationality

On the other hand, the second mindset is called the implemental mindset, and it is what you use to work towards achieving the fresh start and its goals. This involves:

Optimism, positive thinking, and openness to different situations
Charging ahead through different hurdles, struggles, and even against logic
Focusing on action over fear or being held back
Taking note of things that don’t work and keeping them in mind to learn from as you move forward

Why does it matter that these are two different mindsets? It means that you need to focus on the way you think when you make a fresh start. You must be conscious of your frame of mind and change your approach as you move from the planning to the action phase. You also have to know when to switch from the action phase back to the planning one – for example, if your current outlook is tanking, you may need to stop and reconsider things.

2. Decide On Goals

A fresh start without goals is aimless and pointless. You won’t find what you’re looking for if you don’t even know what it is or how you can get to it. Of course, the trick is that you have to set goals well and make sure they’re going to motivate you. Business and organizational consultant Dr. Susan Murphy lists the following tips for better goal-setting:

· Start Small

If you’ve struggled to achieve goals in the past, it’s time to lower your scope. Start small and make your goals challenging but manageable. You can always change them to be a little loftier later on. Remember, goals need to be achievable, not almost impossible, or you’ll never get there!

· Spread Goals Out

Don’t have many goals with a close deadline or multiple goals you have to work on all at once. This is especially true for those who often find themselves overwhelmed by goals. Your self-confidence will build with every objective you succeed in, and you’ll soon be ready for closer goals – but you need the patience to get there first!

· Write Goals Down

Hold yourself accountable and remember all your goals by putting them in writing. You want to view them, so you don’t skew them to fit different terms quickly. It’s also an excellent way to commit to goals – they’re in writing, so they stick in your brain!

· Put Your Goals Where You Can See Them

Put up the list of goals or the steps for your goals in visible areas, such as on your work desk, on your fridge, or your mirror. This way, you’ll always be reminded that you need to keep going! You can also check off any goals you achieve to motivate yourself further when you view the checked list every day.

But how do you set good goals? You’ll want to use the acronym SMART. It sounds cheesy, but SMART goals have been shown to have positive effects on those attempting them, and they’re guidelines you mustn’t ignore when setting goals. SMART stands for:

· Specific

Vague goals are sure to harm your progress and muddle your brain. Make sure you know exactly what your goals are in detail, with no room for misinterpretation.

· Measurable

You need to be able to tell if you’re making progress on your goals. You want to be able to see and feel motivated by each measurable step you take, and you also want to make sure you can be 100% certain that you’ve achieved those goals.

· Achievable

As previously mentioned, your goals must be reasonable and should not be in the realm of near-impossibility.

· Results-Oriented

When you make goals, please focus on the results you want, not on the journey itself or the struggle it will take. You want to think of desired outcomes, not of how tough it’ll be.

· Time-Bound

Make sure certain deadlines bind your goals. This will spur you into action and remind you to complete those goals in time, preventing you from sitting on them forever.

3. Better Handle Rumination

Rumination refers to the act of being stuck on one or more similar thoughts, usually of a harmful variety, for a prolonged period. It’s basically like crying over spilled milk but doing so again and again and again. When you’re trying to get a fresh start, this can have you stuck in the past, thinking of nothing but failure and the reasons for your desire for the aforementioned renewed start.

Renowned social psychologist Daniel Wegner covered a lot of information regarding rumination, including the kind that was extremely difficult for people to fight against. He refers to these thoughts as “white bears,” the kinds of strings that repeat and are too difficult to suppress, even with some positive thinking.

Wegner uncovered that the brain automatically searches for certain thoughts that we attempt to suppress. By trying not to think about them, we actually make them worse. Here are some tips for managing rumination and getting away from your personal white bears as you try to make a new start:

· Designate A Worry Time

Set aside a few minutes every day to ruminate as much as you like. The trick? That is the only time you are allowed to ruminate. Essentially, you want to ensure that whenever negative spirals come up during the day, you can say, “Hey, it’s not my worry time! I have to wait before I can give you attention!” and temporarily push the thought aside. That way, you’re not suppressing emotion permanently, just waiting till you can express it all in one go!

· Break The Cycle

When you feel yourself begin to ruminate, break the cycle by turning your attention to something else. Basically, distract yourself with something more positive! Do some chores, participate in a hobby you love, listen to music, play with a pet, chat with a friend… whatever you need to do to get your mind off your worrisome thought cycles.

· Take Note Of Triggers

What is triggering your rumination? Try and figure it out. If you need to, keep a little notebook or even a full journal where you write down your rumination details. Who were you with? What were you doing? What was able to distract you? When you know what your triggers are, you’ll be able to prepare for those bad thoughts when those triggers occur mentally.

· Turn Regret Into Productivity

Regret doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Instead of dwelling on it, try to use it productively. Studies indicate that regret can be positive if it is used to understand your past, learn how to make a better future, and prevent those mistakes from continuing or recurring – all crucial elements for a fresh start!

4. Change The Way You Think About Starting Fresh

Many people hold negative thoughts regarding the act of starting anew. It can seem like a waste of time or effort, and it may even be something you do that fills you with regret. Don’t let this be the case!

The way you think about fresh starts determines how successful they are. Starting off looking down on the very idea of what they are is a surefire way to make your journey harder. Licensed psychotherapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, keynote speaker, and author Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., lists the following thoughts about fresh starts you should change.

· Endings Aren’t Always Bad

Chapters of life end all the time in various ways, some more negative than others. But deciding to close a chapter doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve hit a “bad ending.” Instead, think of it like a phoenix dying and burning to ash, only to rise once more after. It’s a much more empowering and healthier way of allowing yourself to be satisfied with starting anew.

· It Is Not Failure Recovery

For many, the act of starting over has become synonymous with recouping after failing. This is not the case. When you start anew, you are coming in fresh with brand new knowledge, experience, and renewed vigor and passion. Thinking of starting fresh as a mere way to recover from failure undersells the amazing things you can do.

· Starting Again Should Be Celebrated

It’s frightening to try starting fresh, but it’s something to be proud of. Being held back by fear in a fresh start is counterproductive! It’s an exciting opportunity with so many branching paths full of potential!

· Progress Isn’t Linear

Steps back don’t mean that you’re starting from square one. When you advance in life, think of it like climbing stairs instead of walking a straight path. You’ll climb some steps, then take a couple back – and yet, you’re always higher than where you began when you were just on the ground. There is nothing wrong with starting fresh, even if it means losing a little bit of progress!

Final Thoughts On Some Effective Ways To Make A Fresh Start In Life

If you’re longing for a fresh start, the only thing holding you back is you! Be brave and step into that decision with these effective methods to begin again in a productive way. Sometimes, all you really need is a new beginning!

15 Epstein Barr Symptoms Never to Ignore

February 2, 2021 by Power of Positivity

There are so many viruses out there that it can be hard to stay away from them all. Everyone probably contracts a virus at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, the Epstein Barr virus is a common one. Keep reading to find out more about this virus and symptoms you shouldn’t ignore.

About the Epstein Barr Virus

The Epstein Barr virus is part of the human herpesvirus family. It only affects humans, and the scientific name for it is herpesvirus 4 or HHV-4. This virus is widespread and causes one of the most common and well-known infections – infectious mononucleosis.

Most people refer to infectious mononucleosis as mono or the kissing disease. It’s very contagious, but not everyone who is exposed to the virus will develop symptoms. It’s commonly contracted through the spread of bodily fluids like saliva, hence the nickname.

It also is one of the infections that can cause infected tonsils, or tonsilitis.

Epstein Barr Virus Statistics

It may surprise you to learn that most people contract this virus during their lifetime, usually in childhood. In fact, scientists and medical experts believe that over 90 percent of the worldwide population has contracted the virus. However, most people aren’t aware of it because not everyone experiences symptoms.

Treatment for the virus is usually straightforward, so there isn’t a high death rate from the virus. However, in some cases, the virus can cause cancer, and there are a small number of deaths from this globally.

In a study done by researchers at United Arab Emirates University, it was shown that in 2010 only about 1.8% of worldwide cancer-related deaths were caused by the virus. This is a meager number, but it’s over 14% higher than 20 years before that.

Perhaps if more people learn about the virus’s symptoms and how it spreads, this rate can begin to decline before it becomes a serious global issue. Below are 15 symptoms to look out for that may indicate you have the virus.

15 Symptoms of the Epstein Barr Virus You Shouldn’t Ignore

Watch for these red flags if you suspect you have this viral infection.

1. Fever

Anytime you have a fever, it’s a serious issue. Fevers occur from many different conditions, including the Epstein Barr virus. The key is identifying the fever and getting to a doctor in a decent time frame. Generally, any temperature above 100.4°F is considered a fever. If it gets higher than 103°F or your fever lasts longer than three days, you should get to a doctor as soon as possible.

2. Extreme Fatigue

You may become so tired that it seems like you can’t get enough sleep. It will be a different kind of tired than the norm – your entire body might feel like a weight that you’re dragging around. This is a clear sign that something is wrong.

3. Rash

A rash isn’t a common symptom of the virus, but it can happen. In fact, there are certain types of rashes that can indicate the virus or mono:

Maculopapular rash – flat pinkish-red spots on the skin may have small, raised, and pinkish-red lesions.
Petechiae – flat, small, reddish-purple dots. Occurs in the mouth half of the time.
Antibiotic rash – occurs after being mistakenly diagnosed with strep throat and taking antibiotics.

4. Weakness

All that fatigue and fever can lead to you feeling weak. Your body is battling a strong virus, and the last energy you have left will be dedicated to that. You won’t be able to do as much as you normally do.

5. Headaches

After developing the prior symptoms, you may develop a headache. The headache from this virus is characterized as a chronic tension-type headache. Thankfully it’s not as bad as a migraine, but it’s very persistent.

6. Lack of Appetite

Your body is going through some serious changes, so it’s no surprise that you would have a loss of appetite. In fact, you may eat so little that you experience weight loss. Most people would be glad to drop a few pounds, but it’s preferable if it’s not due to a virus.

7. Sore Throat

The virus is most often contracted from kissing or some other activity that involves swapping saliva. Sharing utensils is an example. Because of that, it invades the throat first. That’s why a sore throat is most often the first symptom of the virus.

8. Body Aches

Body aches are common with most viruses. The Epstein Barr virus is no exception. In addition to headaches, your muscles may feel chronically sore.

9. Swollen Tonsils

The virus may invade your throat and make it to your tonsils. This can cause sore, swollen tonsils. You may see red or white pus bumps on the back of your throat and tonsils. This often causes doctors to identify the condition as strep throat incorrectly.

10. Swollen Liver

This is a less common symptom of the virus, but if this happens to you, consider that you may have the virus. The condition is known as mono hepatitis, and people who develop this tend to be sicker than others. The good news is that the liver usually makes a full recovery.

11. Swollen Spleen

A swollen spleen is also a symptom, though not a common one. In rare cases, about two out of every 1,000 cases, the spleen may rupture. This requires immediate medical attention.

12. Jaundice

Jaundice can occur if you have mono hepatitis. It happens when bile enters the bloodstream because the liver is not properly filtering it out. It’s easily spotted – it can cause your eyeballs, skin, and nails to turn yellow.

13. Swollen Lymph Nodes

Lymph nodes often swell when they are swamped with some foreign invading entity like a virus. On top of that, you may have bile floating around from jaundice. All of this can clog your lymph nodes, causing them to function improperly.

14. Nausea

With all the things that can happen to you due to the virus, it should be no surprise that you may experience nausea. You may have toxic waste floating around your body, which can cause an adverse reaction to your digestive system. This may also contribute to a poor appetite.

15. Vomiting

Vomiting isn’t a common symptom, but it can occur in the worst cases. Just like with nausea, you may have toxins reacting badly to your digestive system. Your body may try to get rid of these toxins through vomit.

Getting Over the Virus and/or Mono

If you get this virus, it will take you from 6 to 8 months to completely get over it. Luckily the worst of it will be over a lot quicker than that with treatment (a few weeks). The most important thing is identifying it early before the virus does some serious damage to your system.

Diagnosing the Virus

Your doctor may diagnose the virus by a physical examination or through lab tests. The most common test is called a heterophile antibody test. Your doctor may also order a complete blood count, which gives information on how your immune system handles the virus.

Treating Mono

If you’re asymptomatic or you have mild symptoms, your doctor may not give you any type of treatment other than a suggestion of taking it easy. After all, there is no treatment or cure for viruses of any kind. Treating it with antibiotics can lead to a rash (stated above).

If you have severe symptoms, your doctor can treat the symptoms without treating the virus. Treatments can include pain medication, fever-reducers, and more. The best treatment is lots of rest and drinking plenty of fluids.

Serious Complications

You can relax knowing that it’s rare for serious complications to occur. However, if they do you must seek medical attention immediately. Some examples of severe complications include:

Meningoencephalitis – a neurological infection.
Ruptured spleen (mentioned)
Extreme tonsillar enlargement – much worse than swollen tonsils

In the case of meningoencephalitis, the symptoms will be much more “neurologically” specific. They can include confusion, disorientation, neck pain, light sensitivity, unusual behavior, and other cognitive difficulties.

Final Thoughts on the Epstein Barr Virus and Mono

It’s amazing that so many people have been infected with the Epstein Barr virus and didn’t know about it. With all the symptoms that it can cause, it’s hard to imagine that a person wouldn’t know they’re sick. However, some people are lucky and only experience mild symptoms or none at all.

Most symptoms of the virus are common symptoms of many other infections and diseases. It may be hard for you to pinpoint the virus on your own. However, these 15 symptoms or any combination of them should prompt you to visit your doctor. They’ll be able to identify them and give you the proper treatment to get you feeling as good as new.

Researchers Link Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to the Immune System

February 2, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Do you know someone with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma? Researchers made an incredible connection between this lymphatic cancer and the immune system.

Cancer research is one of the most important research areas of the century. The cases of cancer that people face each year are innumerable, yet the disease and the cure is elusive. It’s like an enemy that has the perfect hiding spot and attacks when you least expect them to.

The fight against cancer is raging on, and it seems that researchers have some victorious battles lately. One of these victories was by scientists at The Institute of Cancer Research, London. They’ve identified a genetic link between the immune system and Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Keep reading for the details of the study.

What is Hodgkin’s Lymphoma?

To better understand the research, it may help if you know what Hodgkin’s lymphoma is. It’s is one of two types of lymphoma cancers. The second type is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. They’re both rare cancers, with Hodgkin’s being even more infrequent than non-Hodgkin’s.

There are only two slight difference between Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s. If the cancerous cells contain Reed-Sternberg cells, then it’s classified as Hodgkin’s. If not, it’s classified as non-Hodgkin’s. The second difference is that Hodgkin’s is a little more predictable than non-Hodgkin’s so it’s easier to detect early, leading to more successful treatments.

The research specifically focuses on Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Hodgkin’s can be further classified into two subtypes. Scientists designate them as classical Hodgkin’s lymphoma (cHL) and nodular lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin lymphoma (NLPHL). This research focuses on cHL which makes sense because it accounts for 95% of Hodgkin’s lymphoma cases.

If that’s not confusing enough, cHL can be further classified into four sub-subtypes:

Nodular sclerosis (NSHL)
Mixed cellularity (MCHL)
Lymphocyte-rich
Lymphocyte-depleted

The research focuses on the first two. NSHL comprises about 60% of cHL cases while MCHL comprises about 20%.

The Lymph System

As you may know, cancer starts anywhere in the body where cells begin to grow out of control. Lymphoma cancer is, as the name suggests, cancer of the lymph system.

The lymph system is a part of the immune system. It’s composed of vessels that are a lot like blood vessels. However, instead of carrying blood, they carry a watery, clear fluid called lymph (hence the name of the system).

This fluid is responsible for removing waste, bacteria, and viruses. Think of the lymph system as giving a bath to your tissues. The vessels carry lymph around your body, and the fluid filters through the hundreds of lymph nodes throughout your body.

How Cancer Affects the Lymph System

There are two ways that the lymph system develops cancer. The cancer could start in the lymph nodes or the cancer could start somewhere else, break off (called metastasis), and travel to the lymph nodes. According to the American Cancer Society, the latter method occurs more than the former.

When lymph nodes are infected with cancer (or other foreign invaders), they swell up due to a lymphatic obstruction. This simply means that lymph is unable to filter through the node. Sometimes they can swell up big enough for you to feel or even see under the skin. The swelling of lymph nodes is known as lymphedema.

Lymphoma cancer invades lymphocytes found in white blood cells. There are two types of lymphocytes: B cells and T cells. Hodgkin’s lymphoma usually affects B cells first.

Where Lymphoma Can Occur in the Body

Like all cancers, lymphoma can occur mostly anywhere in the human body. That’s because the lymph system spreads throughout the body. The most common areas are:

Spleen
Thymus
Bone Marrow
Adenoids/tonsils
Digestive tract

Lymphoma mostly starts in the top half of the body but it’s not uncommon for it to occur in the lower half.

Now that you’re up to speed with the cancer, you’ll be able to follow along with the research more efficiently. We will unpack all the research in greater detail in the next section.

Details of the Research

The research and its subsequent breakthrough were made by the Cancer Genomics Team from the Institute of Cancer Research, London (ICR). The team is lead by Professor Richard Houlston, Head of the Division of Genetics and Epidemiology. Other members of the group included:

Dr. Amit Sud, an Academic Clinical Lecturer in Genetics and Epidemiology at ICR
Dr. Hauke Thomsen, Senior Bioinformatician and Biostatistician
Dr. Kari Hemminki of the Division of Molecular Genetic Epidemiology at the German Cancer Research Centre

There were many other researchers involved, but these four led and supervised the team. The research was first published in the Nature Communications journal on December of 2017.

Introduction of the Research

While cHL is rare and, in most cases, successfully treated. Still, scientists continue to research how to improve treatments, especially for people in which first-line treatments don’t work. Past research has shown a well-established connection between the human leukocyte antigen (HLA) region and cHL. However, there hasn’t been much research into how genetics plays into the development of the cancer.

This research project was started to identify heritable risk factors for cHL, which are largely unknown. The initial theory of inherited genetic influence of cHL came from a trend of cHL running in families. However, it was strongly influenced by cases of identical twins both developing cHL.

Researchers believed that this study would be widely successful because of recent studies composed of data from the genome-wide association studies (GWAS). The next section will give you some information about GWAS.

The team used data from the The data came from three different studies in the GWAS; one was a new study from the UK National Study of Hodgkin Lymphoma Genetics (NSHLG) and the other two from two pre-existing studies in the GWAS database.

The subjects of their data was of European ancestry which seems a bit limited at first glance. However, the cancer disproportionately affects people of European origin, so this is a good pool of data to use. In all, scientists analyzed data from over 22,000 subjects. This was one of the largest research studies for cHL ever done.

A Brief Description of GWAS

GWAS is essentially a database of research, studies, statistics, and other information that researchers can pull data from. The purpose of this database is to have a centralized location from which researchers all over the world can pull or pool data. This leads to a much more efficient way of researching any genome-related project.

GWAS was started with the completion of the Human Genome Project. This was one of the biggest successes in the history of modern science. Researchers set out to map every single gene in the human body (collectively called the human genome or just genome). The project took 13 years to complete, lasting from 1990 to 2003.

The project was an international effort. Their team included researchers and scientists from the United States, France, Germany, China, the United Kingdom, and Japan. By creating a blueprint of the DNA sequencing of the entire human body this project advanced science exponentially.

The project and decades of research has turned into a publicly assessable database for scientists to use. Pooling data from all over the world makes it much easier to conduct research without needing to set up individual projects, which could take years. The data is already there – they just need to analyze it and look for trends.

GWAS and the Human Genome Project has been more successful than anyone could have hoped for. It has even led to an era of personalized medicines and treatments. The database continues to grow with every successful research project that stems from it.

The Results of the Study

After analyzing the data, researchers discovered a link between genetic mutations and cHL. In fact, they identified six new single-nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs) at non-HLA risk locations. SNPs are variations of a single position in a DNA sequence. For science to consider this an SNP, over 1% of the population must have a variation at this position.

These SNPs cause transcription factor binding, essentially meaning they can connect to and possibly disable adjacent genes. The significance of this is that five of these six newly identified SNPs are next to cells that have been previously associated with the development of cHL or B-cells. This leads scientists to the conclusion that these SNPs are strong risk factors for cHL.

How to make homemade immune system gummies.

Final Thoughts on the Study and Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

The GWAS has been a catalyst for a slew of new research and etiology. This study is a great example of this. It provided a new, important insight into the development of cHL which could be used in the future to detect people of high risk and possible even provide them with preventative treatment.

Cancer research is incredibly important in these times, so any research like this is welcomed in the medical field. Hopefully, the GWAS will continue to fuel new developments that will make life better for everyone, especially those battling cancer. The future of human health depends on it.

Is a Depressed Person Hiding Their Depression? 10 Red Flags to Watch For

February 2, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Have you seen the depression public service announcement where the sad woman is hiding behind a smiley face mask? Although it’s an advertisement, using a “mask” to hide depression may resonate with many who suffer from this condition. The depressed person wants to hide their mental health issue as it’s often embarrassing to them.

According to statistics published by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, at least 16.1 million adults battle depression in America annually. It usually manifests at about age 32, and it’s more prevalent in women than men.

The article also mentions that those who are depressed are more than likely to have anxiety issues, too. Although there are no cures, depression and anxiety are highly treatable. Unfortunately, only about 39.6 percent of people diagnosed seek treatment.

Ways That A Depressed Person Often Hides Their Depression

It’s a shame that mental illnesses like depression still carry a stigma in the 21st century. No wonder so many people are reluctant to discuss their issues and try to conceal them. Here are ten ways that depressed people often disguise their condition.

1. They are Always Trying to Appear Happy

A depressed person may try to hide behind a big smiley face mask. They smile and laugh as they interact with their loved ones, friends, and coworkers. However, their happiness is only a ruse.

They’re quite skilled at disguising the dark feelings inside their mind. A depressed person often considers their mental disease shameful or feels it makes them appear weak. They feel safe behind their grinning façade and refuse to reveal what lies beneath the insincerity.

2. Their Empathy is in Overdrive

Empathy is a beautiful virtue that one must cultivate from birth. According to a study published by Frontiers in Psychology, children model empathy and other norms early on from parents and other caregivers. Empathy goes a step beyond sympathy in that you mirror the emotions of the person who is hurting.

Some tell-tale emotions of depression are profound sadness, despair, and hopelessness that won’t go away. Considering the law of attraction, it makes sense that a depressed person might attract other hurting people. Their empathy may be so intense for others that it can make their depressive symptoms worse.

3. They Always Have the Perfect Excuses

Don’t worry about a depressed person fumbling for an excuse for their erratic behavior. They often spend hours of sleepless nights creating negative scenarios and rehearsing what they’d say or do. Their reasons are usually so elaborately detailed it makes the cover-up more obvious.

They can instantly blurt out why they missed your dinner invitation or forget to call when they promised they would. These excuses are especially concerning if the person is usually dependable and trustworthy. Your depressed friend or loved one is giving a desperate plea for help behind the smoke and mirrors.

4. They Automatically Consider the Worst-Case Scenario

Unfortunately, people who are depressed tend to dwell in a negative atmosphere. A study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests a link between pessimism and depression. Participants in the study who were depressed were more apt to be pessimistic about future situations.

That’s probably not to say that all pessimistic people are clinically depressed. Some people have a negative attitude that makes relating to them difficult. Some depressed people may always consider the worst-case scenario so they aren’t taken off guard if it happens.

5. They Chronically Seek for Love and Attention

It might be easy to assume that people are dishonest and untrustworthy and conceal their depressive feelings. These assumptions are not only unfair, but they are also inaccurate. A depressed person isn’t trying to hide some devious secret from you.

Instead, they desire love and attention just like all people and don’t want to make a wrong impression. Sadly, they so often feel that they can lose themselves in the process by their attempts to hide their issues. Such problems can lead to broken relationships and a more profound longing for acceptance and love.

6. Their Brains Never Rest

In the laws of motion and physics, to depress something means to impede or slow it down. Such may also be true with psychological depression, where your movements, emotions, and thought processes may be slower than usual.

However, you may notice that people who are depressed rarely take a break from thinking. Their minds may be regularly playing worst-case scenarios that usually never happen. Plus, they continually ruminate in the past and build anxious thoughts for the future.

7. Their Sleep Patterns are Erratic

It’s normal to have an occasional disruption in your sleep patterns. An article published by the Sleep Foundation recommends that most adults need between 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Your body needs this time to recover and rejuvenate properly.

Depressed people usually experience erratic sleep problems. If they don’t sleep enough, they have insomnia, or if they get too much sleep, it’s called hypersomnia. Even if their healthcare provider rules out underlying conditions, some people may refuse to accept depression as a reason for their sleep issues.

8. They Either Overeat or Don’t Eat Enough

Our bodies need a variety of whole, healthy foods to survive and thrive. Those who are emotional eaters may tend to eat more when they are depressed. The scents and flavors of certain foods may invoke fond memories, so overeating may be a temporary bandage to handle their despair.

On the other hand, some depressed people lose interest in food. They no longer enjoy preparing meals, and nothing sounds tasty to them. Whether depression tries to camouflage with undereating or overeating, both can contribute to a dangerous eating disorder.

9. Their Emotions Are Scattered

When you think of a friend or loved one who is depressed, perhaps you only consider their sad and hopeless emotions. However, those who are trying to disguise their depression may display a wide variety of emotions. Often, their feelings are intermittent and inappropriate for the situation.

They may sometimes seem almost giddy to avoid others detecting any depressive feelings. You may also notice that their anger is more intense. Anger is probably one of the easiest feelings to express.

Such scattered emotions are especially telling if the person is ordinarily level-headed and emotionally stable. Usually, when depressive people are alone, they can steep in their misery without others knowing. Unfortunately, they can lose touch with their emotions the more they plunge into untreated depression.

10. They Often Hide Behind Talent and Humor

Everybody loves a comic. When you listen to comics or watch them on TV, it’s easy to assume that these are the happiest people in the world. Yet, live interviews and biographies of some of the world’s most beloved funny people tell a different story.

Think of some iconic comics you remember who hid their pain and substance abuse behind the laughs. It’s sad to realize that many of these incredibly talented people developed their gifts early due to childhood abuse, bullying, and underlying mental illness. Some of these troubled comedians suffered premature death in the past few years because of accidental overdoses or intentional suicide.

The early loss of actor and comedian Robin Williams perhaps represents this concept best.

What If You Are the Depressed Person?

Yes, it’s troublesome trying to figure out how to help a friend or loved one keep their depression under wraps. What if your eyes are the ones that are gazing through the smiley mask and hiding your despair? If you wear it too long, you may forget your true reflection in the mirror.

Do any of these ploys sound familiar to you? Do you exhaust your time, energy, and resources trying to disguise your depression? The longer you deny the problem and leave it untreated, the more critical your mental health condition will become.

• Reaching Out for Help

People who are depressed can be so skilled at hiding their condition that they often fool their closest family and friends. If you notice some of these tactics to camouflage true feelings in your friends or loved ones, you must reach out to them.

Instead of being judgmental or accusatory, talk to them about how they are feeling. Let them know some of your observations, and you must assure them that it’s a normal and treatable condition. Don’t be surprised if your friend or loved one gets defensive or angry if you invade their comfort zone.

However, they may immediately respond and want to talk about their problems. You can help them find help to treat their depression. Remember to reassure them that you will be holding their hand while you take the journey of healing together.

Final Thoughts on Concealing Depression from Others

The good news is that depression can usually be successfully treated. First, drop the mask, be yourself, and ask for help. With proper treatment and counseling, a depressed person can overcome these mental health obstacles and enjoy life again.

12 Habits That Make It Easier to Have Difficult Conversations

February 1, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Have you ever had to be the one to initiate a conversation or discussion about something difficult, concerning, or uncomfortable? Unfortunately, most people have been put in that situation at least once in their life and mishandling these types of sensitive scenarios can lead to even more significant problems.

A mix of delicacy and rationality is needed when handling tough talk, and many nuances and subtleties can make or break a productive and practical discussion. The trick is to know how to avoid the fallout and ensure favorable outcomes. Here are the 12 best ways to start difficult conversations and prevent the conflict of opinion!

1. Be Honest and Direct

When you’re uncomfortable, the last thing you’d want to do is openly point out the elephant in the room. Maybe if you ignore it, it’ll go away! However, that never actually ends well.

On the other hand, open communication – especially in difficult conversations – can be super helpful. For example, it can:

Encourage trust and honesty.
Facilitate mature interactions
Create positive and rewarding relationships

That said, it’s essential to be sensitive to an individual or cultural differences as well. For example, sometimes it’s acceptable to:

Engage in back-and-forth conversation instead of confrontation
Take time to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Check whether both parties are mentally ready to engage in a difficult discussion.

2. Consider The Other Perspective

Despite our best efforts, there will always be something we’re particularly sensitive about. From there, it can be easy for you to jump to conclusions and have your fears take off with your thoughts.

But before you act on your knee-jerk reaction, consider these questions:

Have you misunderstood them in some way?
Where are they coming from?
How have their past experiences influenced them?
Are they being affected by something else in their life right now?
Was there something you said that might have hurt or angered them?

While it’s good to have your needs and feelings as a priority, it’s also imperative you take the other person’s issues and desires into account as well. Then only can you come to a conclusion that will genuinely address everyone’s concerns!

3. Don’t Get Hung Up On Being Liked

Isn’t being liked a critical aspect when trying to avoid conflict and deal with difficult conversations? Surprisingly, it isn’t. Instead, what’s more, important is to:

Have an open mind and attitude
Be interested in learning from the other person
Focus on mutual understanding and respect

While being liked is a positive bonus to have in a conversation, it can be hard to make the other person like you when they feel you’re not listening or supporting them in the first place!

4. Focus On Facts

Trying to make the other person feel and understand your frustration and anger may make you feel better isn’t productive – especially when both sides try to resolve a difficult problem. Instead:

Take some time off to breathe and calm down
Think about what happened and write it down as factually as possible
Consider what role you may have played and how it contributed negatively to the situation
Make plans to ensure you will not repeat the same pattern again

This way, you can ensure that you won’t let your emotions cloud and warp what happened and take responsibility for any unnecessary words, actions, or behavior!

5. Listen More Than You Speak

You may feel like you’re just preparing yourself for a difficult confrontation, but continually thinking and planning what you’re going to say isn’t very helpful. Instead, it often ends with you not listening to what the other person has to say!

In reality, there is no need for lengthy script preparation. All you have to do is:

Stick to neutral and supportive statements or questions
Be attentive and listen to the other party.
Gather as much information as possible
Pay attention to body language, behavior, and other various cues.
Ask for clarifications and elaborations.
Reflect to make sure you have understood them correctly

Mirroring and echoing can go a long way to making the other person feel heard. Indeed, it gives you a chance to see where they’re coming from. Best case scenario, all they need is for you to listen to them genuinely – no other conflict resolution necessary!

6. Focus On Behavior, Not Personality

Conflating behavior and personality is very easy to do. However, this can lead to uninformed judgments that may make the other person defensive and – perhaps rightfully – insulted.

A more productive thing to do would be to:

Focus on their actions and behavior, not the person
Ensure you have appropriate and suitable evidence, and stick to that
Filter your statements to keep your feelings and their actions separate. For example, “When I heard you say X, it made me feel Y.”

Focusing on yourself and how you interpreted things allows the other party to understand how their actions may have come across to others. At the same time, it will enable you to express yourself while remaining factual and productive.

7. Don’t Delay

There’s nothing wrong with taking a break to recover from a rough confrontation. However, trying to avoid it or downplay it will only allow things to simmer, making it far more dangerous the next time you boil over.

It is often much healthier to confront and deal with the issue immediately or schedule a time and place for later resolution and stick to that date. If needed, plan out a general outline, your intentions, and your desired outcomes. Just don’t let it drag on until it no longer seems relevant. That unspoken fracture between the both of you may only be a breeding ground for frustration and resentment.

8. Sandwich It

Worried about how you can crack open this precarious topic without causing an explosion? Completely overwhelmed with anxiety that stems from potentially hurting someone sensitive? Consider the “bad news sandwich” layout. It consists of:

Positive compliments or praise
The actual topic you wish to tackle
More positive compliments and affirmation

This ensures that it’s more comfortable to start the conversation and that the end will leave both parties more uplifted – even if it was a difficult one to deal with.

9. Take Breaks if Needed

Maybe it’s not for the lack of trying, but you somehow still find yourself at a dead end with the other party. In such a situation, you have to recognize that you’ll have to try something else like:

Coming back another time, after the other person has cooled off and is more receptive to discussion
Take a ten-minute break to breathe and perform self-care
Rescheduling further meeting for another day, when you’ll both be rested and capable of trying again

That said, it’s essential to identify when you’ve tried your best and move on. Some people will refuse to respond to you, and frustrating as it is, there is nothing you can do about it.

10. Let Go of Fears

With closeness and vulnerability comes the opportunity for being hurt. It’s only natural, then, that all sorts of fears will spring up from it.

· Fear Of Hurting Others

All conversations are a two-way street. When trying to meet the other party in the middle, it’s essential to make sure it doesn’t come at the cost of neglecting your needs and feelings – even if it feels like it may hurt their emotions as a result.

· Fear Of Being Rejected

Rejection by peers and loved ones is a tricky thing, and you may end up avoiding conflict or confrontation at all costs. To let your feelings fester, however, will only make things worse. Instead, it’s healthier to confront the other person and express your feelings.

· Fears Related To Past Trauma

Maybe this isn’t your first rodeo, and you’ve walked away from past experiences with more wounds and a bitter taste in your mouth. In such cases, your priority should first be to learn how to resolve and heal from those past hurts first. Then only can you truly start moving forward in future situations.

While many of these fears have understandable and valid sources, it’s essential to make sure they don’t get in the way of conflict confrontation and resolution. You might think you’re preserving a relationship and protecting others. Still, very often, the unhealthy behaviors that stem from these fears inflict more pain and hurt on everyone in the long run.

11. Use “I” Statements

Accusing someone may be the last thing you intend to do, but your words may betray you if you’re not careful. As such, you need to utilize “I” sentences to focus on discussing and expressing yourself without blaming someone.

Examples include:

“When X happens, I feel/think Y because…”
“I felt/thought X when…”
“I had assumed X because…”

12. Keep Positive Thinking

When you’re dealing with difficult conversations, positive thinking is a significant weapon in your arsenal! It’s what keeps you motivated to push forward when things seem to be grinding to a standstill. For example, positive thinking can:

Give you a goal to strive towards
Keeps your morale high
Shift your mindset into one that looks for positives and growth opportunities
It makes you more resilient during difficult discussions
It helps you stay calm when tensions rise

As a result, you are more inclined to see difficult conversations and conflicts as a chance to learn how to communicate better and to resolve any issues that may otherwise fester unseen. This gives what would otherwise be negative situations a productive, positive bent – no matter what happens, there indeed is something you can take away from this!

Final Thoughts On Some Best Ways To Start Difficult Conversations And Avoid Conflict Of Opinion

Life’s reality is such that difficult conversations will happen, whether you want them to or not. Learning to manage those conversations and have them productively, with positive thinking and empathy, is the best way forward.

Of course, this is a skill that needs learning over time, and avoiding conflict of opinion sometimes isn’t possible. Regardless of the situation, you want to feel confident that you’ve done the best you can to initiate a productive, effective, and mindful discussion.

Is Your Partner Emotionally Cheating? Watch for These 10 Giveaways

February 1, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Emotional cheating is commonplace, but why is it that it doesn’t spark the fiery outburst that catching someone in the act of infidelity does? Today’s society has become engrossed with texting and social media, and it’s quite effortless to “fall” for someone without even meeting them in person.

When someone chooses to step outside the bounds of a relationship and have a physical connection, they can blame it on alcohol, drugs, or even a poor lapse in judgment. However, when you’re involved in an emotional affair, then it’s done by choice. You can have sex without getting emotions involved, but when you bear your heart and soul to someone, the connection is quite different.

To be guilty of emotionally cheating, you must foster a relationship over weeks or months. The feelings you experience in an emotional situation are much deeper than that of a physical attraction. Some might say that these feelings are stronger as they’re rooted in the heart rather than in a bed in a cheap motel.

What is Emotional Cheating?

How do you define emotional cheating as there are no guidelines for this unfaithfulness? Each couple should define boundaries for their relationship as the concept of emotional affairs is constantly evolving.

Keep in mind that for there to be any cheating in the emotional realms, there must be the following:

An established emotional connection
Secrecy from each other
An element of eroticism

Having close friends is always good, but it’s hard to have friends of the opposite sex when you’re in a committed relationship. Do you have anything on your phone that you keep secret from your spouse? Perhaps, you’re dreaming of kissing and holding this person that you speak with every day.

When you start developing feelings like this and want to be more than just friends, the relationship has moved from buddies into the emotional cheating territory.

Signs of An Emotionally Cheating Partner

How does a person know if they have an emotionally cheating partner? What signs do you look for, and when do you confront them? Here are some signs to look for that can help you.

1. Guarding the Cell Phone

One of the first indications of someone becoming emotionally involved with another is cell phone secrecy. If your partner always left their phone in plain sight and now, they guard it with their life, then it’s a sign that they’re hiding something. The cell phone is almost always the key to finding out what’s truly going on with your spouse.

2. No Longer Around

Does the person seem to be always talking in secret or hiding around the corners texting? When it comes time for dinner, they would rather be on their phone or run errands continuously. When a person is emotionally cheating, then they will pull away from you.

3. Secretive Nature

When someone is doing something wrong, then they try to be very secretive about their actions. They might be staying late at work, having mystery meetings at all hours, or have other excuses because they want to be away from home. It’s important to note that this was occurring when it wasn’t commonplace before.

4. They Know A Lot About This Friend

One major hint that someone is emotionally cheating is that they seem to always talk about a “friend.” They name drop about this person for the smallest things, and they seem to know a great deal about them. If you ask them any questions about their “friend,” they are quite eager to answer.

Watch their face as they talk about them. If they are beaming, it’s a sign of a problem.

5. Super Defensive

Do they become super defensive when you ask them anything about their whereabouts, cell phone usage, or mystery meetings at work? If there’s no reason for them to defend their actions, why are they acting this way with you? A defensive nature is always a red flag.

6. Lack of Intimacy

A significant sign that something is wrong in a relationship is a lack of intimacy. It’s because they are dreaming or thinking of someone else. Just because emotional cheating doesn’t involve intimacy doesn’t mean that they don’t fantasize about it.

When you confront them, their guilty conscience may try to appease your physical needs so that you don’t become more suspicious. If things are off in the bedroom, then it’s a cause for concern.

7. They Don’t Share Their Life

If you always had good communication and enjoyed talking about the boring day-to-day stuff, it can be a bad sign when they stop speaking. The reason they don’t want to share so much with you is that they’re afraid they might trip up and say the wrong thing, or they can’t think of anything but this other person.

Also, if they give flippant answers to questions, you ask them, such as “I’m fine,” “whatever,” I’m okay,” then you know something is wrong.

8. You’re No Longer Important

Whether your spouse is having a physical or emotional affair doesn’t matter, it takes a lot of energy. While you feel less important, it’s just that their mind is preoccupied. According to Health Research Funding, over 60 percent of all affairs happen at work, and 56 percent of those people are happy in their marriage.

Chances are, even if they do step outside of the relationship for their emotional needs, it’s just a passing fling. They will soon come back and realize the error of their ways, or at least 31 percent do.

9. They Pick Fights

You might notice the cheating spouse likes to pick fights with you. They feel much guilt about the situation, but they want to try to have a reason to blame you for what they’re doing.

For instance, they may start nitpicking about the smallest of infractions simply because they want a reason to storm out of the house and meet their friend for coffee. They’re using you for an excuse, so don’t fall into this trap.

10. Everything Is Your Fault

Someone who is caught red-handed likes to turn everything around on others for fear of getting in trouble. If you choose to confront them about their behavior, they may try to make it your fault and act like you’re cheating. The term is called gaslighting, and it’s where you try to make everyone else take the blame for your actions.

Be very careful if your spouse starts using psychological tricks like this one. They can be dangerous and cause you mental harm if you continue down this path with them.

How To Handle An Emotionally Cheating Spouse

Always trust your intuition, as gut instincts are very powerful and usually correct. You think your partner is having an emotional affair, now what?

•Gather Your Evidence

Before you start whirling accusations at your spouse, you need to gather any evidence first. Do a little bit of digging, and you may be surprised by what you find. Never go to an argument without documentation, as gut feelings aren’t enough to bring the matter into the open.

•Confront Them

When you start the conversation to confront them about your evidence or suspicions, you should ask them things like:

Are you happy in our relationship?
Is something wrong between us?
Do you still love me and want to be with me?

By asking major questions like these, you’re putting them on the spot. You’re not necessarily asking them about the emotional affair, but you’re asking them how they feel about you. You must know how they think about you if you want to continue with this relationship once things are out in the open.

•Get Counseling

If they open their heart to you and tell you about their feelings for another, you might be able to save the marriage. However, don’t just trust them to tell you the truth since they’ve already been dishonest with you. It’s time to get some professional help to get to the root of the issues.

There’s a reason why they looked outside the union for their emotional needs, and this problem needs to be fixed.

Final Thoughts on Emotional Affairs

If you see any of these red flags above and think your spouse is emotionally cheating on you, then you need to confront them. The longer you let the situation continue, the worse you will feel. You need a resolution to the problem.

Just because they’re having an emotional affair doesn’t always warrant a breakup or divorce. It all comes down to your personal beliefs regarding this type of behavior and the rules you’ve established in your relationship. Some people feel this conduct is wrong, but they don’t feel it’s grounds to end your connection.

The National Library of Medicine referenced a study on this issue conducted by a university in Northern Ireland. They found that women were more upset by emotional infidelity than men. Men are more bothered by physical interactions than emotional ones.

So where you go after this upheaval will be between you two. Just remember that there might be some trust issues going forward, even if it wasn’t a physical affair.

11 Habits That Make it Easier to Forgive Yourself and Move On

February 1, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Everyone has acted wrongly and felt guilty afterward. It can cause you to have negative thoughts, making it hard to forgive yourself. You may wonder what you can do to make it easier to forgive yourself. Here are some suggestions that may help you.

What is forgiveness?

Perhaps you’ve done something that hurt another person’s feelings. Maybe you knew it was wrong, but you still did it. It’s human to do these things, and it’s important to apologize when you’ve hurt someone.

Forgiveness is letting go of your anger toward someone who has done you wrong to stop requiring payment for what they did. It’s a willingness to stop holding that person hostage in your heart for what they did. It doesn’t mean you trust them or think that what they did was okay. It merely means you let go. You are at peace, you may still feel the sting of what they did, but you aren’t going to try to get revenge.

What about forgiving yourself?

But there is another side to forgiveness. Studies show that unforgiveness can make you dislike yourself and believe you’re not worthy of trust and love. To deal with these thoughts about yourself, it’s essential to forgive yourself.

According to the National Library of Medicine at the National Institute of Health, the self-forgiveness is the following:

a willingness to abandon self resentment in the face of one’s own acknowledged objective wrong, while fostering compassion, generosity, and love towards oneself.

How do you deal with your past mistakes and forgive yourself?

There are many ways to incorporate self-forgiveness in your life. Here are some practical habits to forgive yourself and move on.

1 – Resist the urge to rehearse what you did wrong

It is disappointing when you do something unkind or tell a lie, but rehearsing what you did over and over again won’t make you feel better about it. It will only make things worse for you. You may begin to feel unworthy of love or trust. Once you’ve apologized to the other person or persons, it’s time to move on and forgive yourself. Resist the urge to beat yourself up about what you did wrong.

2 – Find faith in God

People of faith believe that God forgives them and helps them with self-forgiveness. They know they need help outside themselves to be able to forgive others and themselves. They also find support from their church community, who are learning about forgiveness. One study found that emotional support from fellow church members can make it easier to self-forgive. Most religions endorse forgiveness as a way to find personal peace and help. Knowing God has forgiven you can make it easier for you to forgive others and yourself.

3 – Take responsibility for what you did

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. When you mess up, like accidentally saying something hurtful, it’s essential to take responsibility for what you did. Trying to defend yourself usually backfires. Plus, not taking responsibility for the things you do will make you feel bad about yourself because you know you’re living a lie. Step up and take responsibility for your mistakes. It will help you be more at peace with yourself and others.

4 – Don’t condemn yourself

Self-condemnation won’t help you forgive yourself. These feelings will cause you to feel worse and can lead to depression or self-harm. If you’ve asked the person or persons for forgiveness, then you can be at peace and forgive yourself. If you have faith in God, ask God to forgive you, too.

5 – Take positive steps

If there are things you said you’d do but didn’t do them, like finishing a project at work or spending money on something you said you wouldn’t to your partner, you may feel guilty about it. Start a habit of going back and doing what you said you’d do. It can make self-forgiveness easier. Getting stuck by your feelings of guilt or shame about letting down your boss or partner won’t help you. Self-forgiveness enables you to take the proper actions to make right the wrongs you’ve done.

6 – Figure out your triggers

Some things in life trigger feelings of your unforgiveness. It may be something you associate with your childhood. There are some relationships or situations that can trigger an emotion, making it difficult for you to forgive yourself. Parents often struggle with self-forgive when they get mad at their kids or say something hurtful to their child. This guilt may trigger feelings they had as kids, so they try to make it up with buying gifts for their kids or over apologizing. Regret is a terrible substitute for asking for real forgiveness. Once you’ve apologized to your child, you can move on to self-forgiveness. Of course, you may need to find a way to control your anger because it can affect your child long term, but that is secondary to apologizing to your child and forgiving yourself.

7 – Change where you need to

If you find yourself repeatedly doing the same wrong thing, maybe it’s time to break free from this habit. If you’re always lying to your spouse or getting angry at work, perhaps you need to get some help. Taking the necessary steps to change in these areas can help you forgive yourself.

8 – Make amends if possible

If possible, try to make amends for what you did. Apologize personally to the person, or at least over the phone. Try to avoid text messages or email apologies. These don’t convey your full meaning and could be misinterpreted by the person you’re apologizing to. If possible, see if there is a way to make it up to them, maybe by replacing the thing you broke. It’s an essential step to fixing your mistakes so you won’t wonder if you could have done more to help the relationship.

9 – Ask yourself if you’re really at fault

It’s essential to make sure you are responsible for doing something wrong rather than being blamed for something you didn’t do. You should never apologize for something you didn’t do. If you are prone to feeling like you should be blamed for things you’re not responsible for, you may be suffering from past trauma or abuse. This causes feelings of guilt and shame for innocent sufferers. If you see this pattern in your life, talk with your pastor or counselor. They can help you work through these issues and get other help you may need.

10 – Learn from your mistakes

It’s impossible to live life without making mistakes. Maturity is not that you don’t make mistakes, but that you earn from your mistakes. You will remember what you did and try to avoid it next time. This lesson is an excellent deterrent to stop doing certain things.

11 – Keep yourself physically and mentally healthy

Mental health is vital to forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Here is a list of ways you can stay mentally healthy.

Sleep: Get enough sleep every night. Lack of sleep affects your judgment and the way you relate to others. If you’re not getting enough sleep, you’ll be prone to irritability and anger. You won’t be patient with your kids or kind to your spouse. This impatience can lead to hurt feelings, and then you’re feeling bad about how you’re acting. It’s a vicious cycle that a good night’s sleep could cure.
Get vitamin D: This vitamin is something called the sunshine vitamin. Vitamin D is vital for your mental health. It improves your mood and gives you more energy. If you live in a climate that doesn’t have much sun in the winter, you can take a supplement or use a light therapy lamp.
Stay active: Staying physically fit will help your mental health. It helps reduce stress and boosts the chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy. Because of this, you’ll relate to others better and be more productive at work.
Stay connected with people: Try to maintain connections with your friends and family. Even if you’re struggling with self-forgiveness, get with others. They will support you when you’re feeling disappointed in yourself. It can also help you get your mind off yourself and on to others.

Final thoughts on learning to forgive yourself for past mistakes

Doing wrong is a universal human problem. Perhaps when you did something wrong, you found it difficult to forgive yourself. Maybe you held on to resentment, which hindered your ability to forgive yourself. Try to incorporate some of these habits to see if they give you the ability to forgive yourself regularly. Hopefully, these ideas strengthen your resolve to break free from guilt and practice self-forgiveness.

Is Being Skinny Always Healthy? 14 Red Flags That Reveal Someone’s Too Thin

February 1, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Being skinny is highly desired among both men and women in the American culture. It’s hard to imagine that places like the South Pacific island of Tonga praise women who are overweight for their voluptuous size. While the focus is on the body, it should be on a person’s health and not all about their exterior.

You can be 200 pounds and be the picture of health, while being frail 97 pounds may come with more health problems. It all comes down to your body, genetic history, and the foods you consume. People believe that obese individuals are healthy, but many of these overweight folks have vitamin and mineral deficiencies that aren’t investigated.

Shockingly, many obese people in this country are malnourished as they lack proper nutrition, and the same can be said for the skinny folks.

Fourteen Red Flags of Being Skinny and Unhealthy

The old saying that you can’t judge a book by its cover certainly rings true. Just because someone looks perfect in their skin doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues lurking under the surface. Here are some red flags that being skinny is not healthy.

1. Excessive Hair Loss

Being skinny requires most people to eat less. Now, keep in mind that this is not always the case as some people naturally have a fast metabolism that allows them to eat whatever they want. However, skinny people usually don’t get anywhere near the 2,500 calories a day that they need, so they are not getting the vital nutrients the body needs either.

The most significant indication of a vitamin deficiency is hair loss. There are many reasons why your hair might fall out, but one of the major concerns is losing nutrients. According to the National Library of Medicine, vitamins such as B, C, D, E, iron, zinc, and selenium are just a few of the deficiencies that can cause hair loss.

2. Hyperthyroidism

One major problem that might be causing a person to be too skinny is their thyroid. When you think of thyroid disorders, you probably consider those who have issues with weight loss. However, a hyperthyroid can cause just as many problems.

These people tend to be painfully thin as their thyroid has sent their metabolism into overdrive. The thyroid can cause problems for your entire body.

3. Struggle to Stay Warm

Why is it that a skinny person is always cold? You may see them in a restaurant in the summer with a jacket on because the AC is chilling them to the bone. Many things can cause a person to be cold all the time, including the thyroid.

However, the thyroid isn’t the only culprit, as an iron deficiency can cause anemia. Those who don’t have sufficient iron in their blood and don’t have enough healthy red blood cells often have a problem staying warm. According to the National Library of Medicine, anemics aren’t getting enough oxygen to their body, and it can cause these sensations.

4. Fertility Issues

Women who are overweight often have fertility issues, but you can also have trouble conceiving if you’re too thin. Being skinny doesn’t mean that you will be able to get pregnant with ease. Your hormone levels can quickly become out of whack, and it can throw your whole reproductive system off balance.

5. Diabetes

It’s probably surprising to see diabetes on the list of issues with being too skinny. Most people think that this is a problem with being overweight, but it has to do with the food you eat. First, diabetes can have genetic links, so if you have a family history, then you can develop it regardless of your size.

Second, a skinny person thinks that it gives them a ticket to eat whatever they want whenever they want. The truth is that eating fast food all the time isn’t healthy, regardless of what the scale says. You can develop diabetes from poor eating habits, even if obesity isn’t the culprit.

6. Heart Disease

The skinny person doesn’t carry the proverbial spare tire around their waist, but they have extra fat around the heart and liver. The problem is that this fat can be just as dangerous, but most skinny people assume they’re healthy.

It’s not uncommon for someone who is underweight to have heart issues. Extra fat around the heart is dangerous regardless of your size.

7. Poor Immunity

If you want to boost your immune system, you should eat leafy greens and other vegetables and fruits. However, many people that are too skinny are the way they are because they starve themselves or they have an overactive metabolism. The problem is that many aren’t taking in the nutrients the immune system requires.

When you’re too thin, you can starve your immune system so that it doesn’t work correctly. The sad thing is that when your immunity is low, you will catch everything coming and going. Additionally, a low immune system can make you more susceptible to cancers too.

8. Osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is a condition that affects many older Americans. The bones become quite brittle and will break too easily. This condition often is a problem that occurs with a low diet and a lack of vitamin D.

Additionally, a lack of estrogen also plays a significant role in the development of this condition. If your breaking bones more often than others around you, then it’s an issue that warrants further investigation.

9. Menstrual Problems

Cycle irregularities are commonplace when your weight is not at an acceptable level. You can experience infertility as a problem with these issues, but it’s also a cause for concern when your body is not functioning as it’s designed.

Your body was made to shed the lining of your uterus once a month. When the reproductive system isn’t working, it can make your moods all over the place as there are many hormones involved.

10. Eating Disorders

One of the first things people think when they see someone too skinny is that they have an eating disorder. It’s not unheard of for someone today to develop anorexia or bulimia. They strive to be thin from cultural influences because people are unhappy with their bodies, no matter the size.

11. Muscle Weakness

A lack of nutrition affects the whole body, including the muscles. Your muscles need protein to be healthy and vigorous, and when you’re barely eating enough to keep your body going, it’s going to cause you to be weak. Your body needs around 1,500 – 2,000 calories each day to keep the processes going. Anything less than this is going to cause deficiencies and significant issues.

12. You Can’t Find Clothes to Fit

Going shopping for clothes isn’t fun if you’re too skinny. If you don’t fit into society’s clothing norms, you may have difficulty finding something that works for you. Jeans can be a real issue as they may fit in length, but they won’t fit around the waist. Did you know that many thin people often shop in the children or teens sections for specific items?

13. Exhaustion

When you’re too thin, you can become exhausted quickly. When you eat, your body stores some of the nutrients from your food as energy. Since you’re probably not eating enough, your energy reserves are low. Doing something as simple as walking through the mall can be nearly impossible for you.

Forget exercising and building muscle mass as you don’t have the energy to do what it takes during the day.

Final Thoughts on Being Skinny but Not Healthy

The medical community considers anyone with a BMI under 18.5 to be too thin. The target range for a BMI should be around 19-24. If you’re below 15 percent of your ideal weight, you need to gain some weight slowly.

America has worshiped the thin physique while casting shame on anyone who doesn’t fit into the perfect size range. According to Bellatory, a small frame is anyone that is a size 00 through a 4. A woman who is a medium frame will be anywhere from a size 6-10, and a large frame is a 12 and up.

The bottom line is that you can be a size two and be healthy or a size 22. It all comes down to what you eat and the nutrients that your body receives. You must learn to be comfortable in the skin you’re in, and if you need to adjust your weight in either direction, it’s best to do it slow and healthy.

10 Effective Hairball Fixes That Can Help A Cat

February 1, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Hairballs are the dread of cat parents. It’s repulsive to have your cat cough up a giant hasty hairball at your feet. Cat hairballs may feel like the gift that keeps on giving, but you can do something to stop them or at least eliminate most of them. Here are ten at-home hairball fixes you can try today.

First, if you have any questions about whether your pet has a hairball or another condition, seek a vet’s advice. However, if you are confident of the condition, feel free to try these things.

Why do cats get hairballs?

Unlike dogs, cats are self groomers. They lick themselves to stay clean. Their rough tongue gets rid of debris, dirt, and any loose hair on their coat. While grooming, they swallow some of their hair, which gets passed through their digestive system. They excrete most of this hair, but some hair gets left in their approach, causing hairballs to form.

One study found although most vets and cat owners feel that a cat’s habit of vomiting hairballs is usual for them, researchers think there are often other things that contribute to this problem. They suggest that when a short-haired cat frequently coughs up hairballs, it’s a sign of an underlying disease causing the cat to ingest more hair, or it’s a sign that the cat has a gastrointestinal problem.

Other causes of frequent hairball vomiting include:

Flea infestation
A skin disease that causes scratching
Diet allergies or intolerance
A bacterial infection on their skin that’s causing scratching

It would be best if you watched other symptoms that could indicate your cat has health issues that are causing the frequent vomiting of hairballs. If your cat shows these signs, you should take your cat to the vet for a check-up.

Watch for these signs of a hairball:

Constipation: this could be due to dehydration, but if your cat is drinking and eating but still is constipated, this could mean they have a blockage in their intestines.
Lots of hair in your cat’s stools: Loose amounts of hair could be an indication your pet is sick.
No appetite: Refusal to eat isn’t typical for cats. Try different foods, but call your vet if your cat refuses to eat more than a day or two. Lethargy: If your cat doesn’t want to play or cuddle, this could be a sign your pet is sick.
Increase in hairballs: If your cat is vomiting up numerous hairballs, this is a bad sign
Overgrooming: If your cat is obsessively grooming, this could be a sign of skin disease.

Hairball fixes for your cat

All cats get hairballs. You can significantly reduce the number of hairballs for your cat with some simple fixes. Here’s the list of what works best to limit those nasty little hairball gifts your cat gives you.

1 – Brushing

When you brush your cat’s hair, you remove dead fur, dander, and dust from their coat. This will diminish the amount of hair your cat swallows while they’re self-grooming. Make your cat is relaxed before you brush. Make brushing a cuddling time with ear and tummy scratches. Try giving your cat little treats as you brush to help your cat stick around long enough to brush its entire coat. Never force your cat to stay the whole time of brushing. Even if you get just part of their coat brushed, you can finish the rest the next day. Make brushing a daily event, especially if you have a long-haired cat. This will significantly reduce hairballs for your furry friend.

2 – Healthy diet

Like humans, cats need a wholesome diet to stay healthy. Your cat’s diet should include these six major groups of nutrients for the best health. These include the following components:

Protein
Minerals
Vitamins
Fats and oils
Carbohydrates
Water

If you buy cat food, read the label to look for these six groups. Or you can create your cat’s meals using safe to eat human foods.

Avoid giving your cat too much food since cats are prone to overeating. If your cat is getting all the nutrients he or she needs in its diet. They will be less inclined to losing lots of hair, which can lead to hairball build-up. Plus, maintaining a healthy diet helps their digestive system work well to rid their body of hairballs quickly and efficiently.

3 – Several small meals

Feeding your cat smaller meals more often is better for them than providing one large amount of food. The smaller meals help your cat’s digestive system work more efficiently to eliminate the hairballs easier.

4 – Control parasites

When cats suffer from fleas or ticks, they instinctively want to get rid of them. They will over-groom to try to do that, which causes them to ingest more fur than usual. This causes hairballs to develop. Keep your pet free of fleas and ticks with natural ingredients.

Keep a fine-tooth flea comb on hand. Check for fleas and ticks regularly to detect infestations. This habit will help you find the bugs early for quick treatment.

Here is why orange cats are so special.

5 – Wipes and shampoos

After you brush your cat’s fur, try wiping down her coat with a hypoallergenic wipe to remove more loose hair. There are also specially made shampoos that help control hair loss you can use on your cat. Grooming is vital if your cat is long-haired since these cats are prone to more hairballs.

6 – Butter

Say what? It’s true. A half teaspoon of butter a day for a week will expel those nasty hairballs in no time flat. The butter is a fat that helps push the built-up fur through your pet’s digestive system, so they get naturally excrete. Butter helps your cat’s gallbladder contract and empty. It’s a mild laxative, so don’t overdo it, or your cat will get diarrhea. Use this method once a month or less if it’s causing diarrhea.

7 – Sardine treat

Another proven hairball fix is feeding your furry friend a can of sea sardines once a month. Sardines are oily fish that will help keep your cat’s digestive system working well so that food and hair move through their intestines. Plus, sardine oil will make your pet’s skin and fur healthier. If you don’t want to mess with sardines once a month, you can give your cat a teaspoon of fish oil every day for the same benefits.

8 – Pumpkin

The regular canned pumpkin you buy at the grocery can be a simple way to get rid of hairballs. Just add 1 or 2 tablespoons of the canned pumpkin to your cat’s daily food. The fiber in the pumpkin regulates and improves your pet’s digestion to help their body get rid of fur, so their hairballs don’t form and get stuck in their intestines.

9 – Keep your cat hydrated

Sometimes the best fixes are the simplest, like making sure your cat is drinking lots of water. Many cat owners find that their cat loves to drink from the water faucet. You can’t leave your faucet turned on all day, but you can purchase a cat water foundation to entice your kitty to drink more water. Another way to ensure your cat is getting enough fluid is to feed them wet cat food instead of dry. Water is essential for your pet’s digestive system to work its best, so it can remove the hair your cat ingests while grooming.

10 – Coconut Oil

Coconut oil is another tried and true simple hairball fix. Keep a small bowl of coconut oil where your cat can get it whenever they want. The oil lubricates and helps the hairballs to slide on through their intestines. The coconut oil will also give your kitty a shinier coat.

Final thoughts on trying natural hairball remedies

Hairballs are a cat parent’s least favorite thing. Fortunately, there are several natural fixes you can try to reduce your cat’s hairballs. If you are unsure of anything, please contact the kitty’s veterinarian for further advice. You love your cat to do everything you can to make them feel happy and healthy. Try these simple suggestions to see which ones work best for your beloved pet.

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