Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Woman Ditches Her Possessions and Now Enjoys the Van Life

Van life has exploded in popularity over the last 5 or 10 years. Of course, the hippies of the 60’s also traveled around in vans, but theirs didn’t have all the comforts of home. Today, you can get a fully decked-out van complete with a stove, bed, and even a bathroom if you want.

For the souls out there who have a thirst for adventure, van life is the ultimate dream. You can travel relatively cheaply since you don’t need to rent hotels and explore off-road areas in your van. Who wants to live behind a desk when you can get out and see the world, anyway?

The main appeal of van life is the opportunity for endless adventures while earning a living remotely. That’s the main difference in today’s world vs. the 60’s – you can continue traveling while you work. Some people have been doing this for years now and still love it! When you live for exploring and experiencing the beauty of nature, it never gets old.

Kristin, a 29-year-old from Indiana, started traveling in her van a couple of years ago. She didn’t want to spend her life chained to a desk and felt a calling to see the world. Three weeks of vacation per year just wasn’t enough, so she eventually mustered up the courage to talk with her boss. She asked her manager about working remotely, and obviously, it all worked out!

“I kind of look at the world as a master art piece collection, and so van life affords me the opportunity to go out and be able to see these different pieces of art,” says Kristin, who lives in her van full-time. “My mind is constantly blown from so much beauty that there is.”

Kristin travels the country with her two dogs Kashi and Bear

“It’s been such a blessing to see all of that. I moved into van life about 2 years ago, I sold everything and kind of made this leap of faith to jump into a nomadic lifestyle. I love traveling so much – it was kind of like my heart always was aching for adventure and nature,” she said.

Jumping on the van life bandwagon was the best decision she ever made. It’s allowed her to explore sites she would’ve never been able to if she stayed at the office. Just a handful of places traveled to so far include Mexico, Utah, California, Colorado, Germany, Ireland, and London. Of course, she couldn’t take her van internationally, but she did get to bring her pups!

“When I stumbled upon this thing called van life, it kind of in a way became a massive backpack, if you will, where I was able to carry my dogs with me,” Kristin said. “I never thought I’d be able to go international with my dogs, and I’m just over the moon!”

Working remotely seems to fit her lifestyle better since she can still travel while earning money. Luckily, her boss was nice enough to agree to the change. She still works normal hours, but looking at a beach instead of a cubicle is a huge improvement!

“My first obstacle was, how do I make money? I’m an internal auditor; I’ve had this career for about 8 years now. I enjoyed my job, but I didn’t enjoy the constraints of my job,” Kristin said.

“So, I actually pitched the idea of working remote to my boss, and here I am! I get to travel full-time in a van now and work remote. I still work 9-5, but it just looks different for me. It looks like being on the beach, or next to a mountain, and then after work, I get to go do a hike, or I get to lay out or something.”

Van life definitely sounds like a dream, and thousands of people have found a way to make it work.

How van life has helped Kristin find herself

Especially if you’re traveling solo, van life allows you to do some serious soul-searching. All the time spent in nature away from the hectic city life helps you reconnect with yourself. Of course, vanlifers can attend meetup groups in various cities. But these travelers spend most of the time in solitude. It’s a great way to get to know yourself, but it also comes with a few risks.

“There are definitely some pros and cons to it. Oddly enough, I do feel safer here. However, I was recently broken into, so there are some downsides to safety. So, that’s been my biggest con to van life, but my pro, I mean, do I really need to spell it out?!,” Kristin says as she shows her view of a gorgeous beach.

Some people may not feel comfortable traveling alone, but Kristin fully embraces it.

“How do I do this solo? I just do it. It’s the thing that I love the most in life, and I value myself and my happiness, so I’m not willing to wait for somebody else to complete that happiness for me,” she says. “Live life for yourself and enjoy the ride! You will learn so much about yourself, and I always say, ‘I just learned who I am. I met Kristin at 27 years old, and I love her, I really do.’”

Her advice for anyone considering van life?

“Stay in your lane, focus on you and your journey. Don’t look behind you, look in front of you, and just stay in your lane and be happy with yourself.”

Final thoughts about the woman who sold her belongings to enjoy van life

In life, the perfect opportunity usually doesn’t come around twice. So, when Kristin’s boss allowed her to work remotely, she knew it was her chance to travel full-time. She visited many different states in the U.S. and even a few other countries! She’s still traveling in her van and has no plans to stop anytime soon.

Seizure Sniffing Dog Learns to Protect Teenage Girl

A seizure sniffing dog gives people with epilepsy a better quality of life. For 18-year-old Haley, her dog Dunkin has been a life-saver, literally.

“I don’t think I could ever fully express everything positive that Dunkin has brought into my life,” Haley said, “whether it be independence so I could go out by myself and not have to worry about getting hurt or just making me feel better on the worst days of my life.”

Around 65 million people worldwide have epilepsy, including 3.4 million in the United States alone. For people living with disabilities like epilepsy, a service dog can improve their quality of life dramatically.

Seizure sniffing dogs can alert their owner to an imminent seizure up to an hour before it happens. This allows their partner time to take precautions such as lying down or getting out of crowded areas. Being able to alert their owner before a seizure happens can prevent injuries from falls.

Haley said this:

“He helped me get all through middle school, and now all through high school as I’m graduating this year. I’m truly convinced that if it weren’t for him, I would not be where I am today.”

Dunkin is a 6-year-old Labrador Staffy mix with a heart of gold. He’s trained as a seizure sniffing dog, always on alert and ready to help Haley at any sign of distress. He’s the best service dog around, providing Haley with love, support, and comfort. Dunkin makes a great companion, but he stays focused on his duties as a service dog.

What can seizure sniffing dogs do?

seizure sniffing dog“Dunkin alerts me to my seizures before when they happen, and he will also alert me to my heart rate when it gets too high. In the situation where I am having a seizure, he will go under me to protect my head, and he will also go find help,” Haley explains.

“Now, whether I’m with my mom or my brother or whoever I’m with, he’ll go find them and bring them back to me. He also performs multiple behavioral interruptions that are destructive to me or helps me refocus on whatever I’m doing.”

Seizure alert dogs can assist their owner in many important ways, such as:

  • Displaying alert behaviors before a seizure occurs
  • Remaining close to its owner during a seizure to prevent injuries
  • Alerting a caretaker, family member, or emergency response system
  • Fetching a telephone, alert device, or medication
  • Opening a door or turning on a light

Seizure sniffing dogs have an innate capability of detecting impending seizures. Experts still don’t know exactly how they can detect seizures. However, they believe that the individual gives off a certain scent before a seizure, which the dog picks up on. Dogs that can detect this have been trained to alert their partner so he or she can make preparations.

Common alert behaviors of seizure sniffing dogs include:

  • Close eye contact
  • Pawing
  • Circling or pacing movements
  • Licking
  • Restless behavior

A seizure sniffing dog can provide their owner with peace of mind, safety, and mobility. Detecting seizures ahead of time means the owner can go in public without fear of being hurt during a seizure. Because of this, they can enjoy a better quality of life knowing that their dog is looking out for them.

Other ways Dunkin brings positivity into people’s lives

Not only does Dunkin improve Haley’s life, but he also brings happiness to other humans as well. One day while running errands, Haley and Dunkin helped a little boy get over his fear of dogs. Normally, Haley doesn’t allow others to pet Dunkin because he could miss an alert, but she made an exception that day.

“There was this little boy with his mom, and I’m assuming he had a major fear of dogs. Obviously, Dunkin would never hurt a fly, but he kept looking at him, then looking at his mom. He asked his mom why [Dunkin] had a vest on, and his mom did a very good job of educating him on service dogs and to not touch them,” Haley recalls.

“But, of course, he’s a kid and was like, ‘I wanna pet the dog.’ His mom looked kind of shocked, and she was like, ‘Sweetie, you don’t like dogs.’”

That’s when Haley knew they had crossed paths for a reason. If petting Dunkin would help the little boy overcome his fear of dogs, she wanted to make it happen.

“So, I brought Dunkin over, and the boy did pet him, and his mom was absolutely shocked that he went near Dunkin. He was petting him for about a good minute, and he looked up at his mom and said, ‘Mommy, I want a dog.’”

“Knowing that I helped the little boy overcome his fears like that, it makes me just really happy.”

While Dunkin may behave like an angel and is well-trained, he didn’t get that way overnight. Haley says that it took patience, consistency, and time to learn how to become a seizure sniffing dog. She says that training is probably the most rewarding part of owning a pet, however.

They have 8 rescue dogs at home and have trained them all, helping them overcome any issues. She added that if you get them as puppies, it’s a lot of work. If you stay persistent and don’t give up on them, though, you can have a dog trained like Dunkin in no time!

Final thoughts on seizure sniffing dog Dunkin who protects his owner Haley

Dogs have been trained for centuries to do a variety of tasks. Today, they’re used for solving crimes, providing emotional support, and even detecting seizures. Dunkin, a 6-year-old Labrador Staffy mix, helps alert his teenaged owner Haley to upcoming seizures. She says that without him, she wouldn’t have been able to live with her condition.

Millions of people suffer from seizures worldwide, and many don’t know why they have them. In some cases, a seizure-sniffing dog like Dunkin can save their life.

Adorable French Bulldog Shows Off the Latest Fashion Trends

French bulldog Ham is certainly quite the ham, judging from his Instagram pictures. He and his loving dog mom Tessa live in Los Angeles, documenting their journey together on social media. They spend almost every waking moment together, and Ham even accompanies Tessa to work! A French bulldog definitely makes working a bit more tolerable.

“He is the happiest pup, he actually gets to come to work with me, and he sleeps by my desk. He is the funniest, most loving dog, and I’m so fortunate to have him in my life,” Tessa says.

The three-and-a-half-year-old cream French bulldog is the love of Tessa’s life. They do everything together and seem to be the best of friends. Especially when you move to a different state all alone, a dog provides companionship and comfort.

Tessa explains:

“I moved to California in 2017 and I come from a family with tons of dogs. So, when I moved out here by myself, I knew that I needed a pup to keep me company. So, Ham came to me when he was just a 12-week-old potato from Philadelphia, and meeting him was the best day ever. I definitely cried when I picked him up.”

It’s hard not to cry tears of joy when you see such a cutie like Ham. His small size, along with his adorable Frenchie face, is an irresistible combo! Not only is he adorable, but he makes a wonderful furry friend. When he’s not napping, he goes along with Tessa’s shenanigans, even if he’s not always thrilled about it.

“Ham’s favorite activity is definitely napping. His two favorite napping spots are on the couch or the floor in the sun. I will find him basking, sunbathing all the time when I’m working from home,” Tessa said.

Tessa loves showing off her French Bulldog Ham on social media

Between naps, Tessa dresses her Frenchie up in adorable outfits and costumes. She calls it “con time” after the anime and Japanese pop-culture convention Oni-Con. If you look at his social media, you’ll see him posing in hundreds of funny and cute outfits.

“His other favorite activity is making con time with me. He definitely tolerates the sunglasses and costumes and outfits, but he gets so many treats and praise. I know there’s a part of him that likes making con time with me,” she says.

 

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A post shared by Hamilton Pierre (@sirhamiltonpierre)

A glance over his Instagram will show you just how much Tessa loves dressing him up. You can see dressed up as a pirate, taco, Happy Meal, bear, crab, and an Easter bunny, to name a few. It’s hard to say which one he looks best in because they’re all adorable!

Some people may call Tessa obsessed, but she loves showing off her French Bulldog. We don’t blame her because he’s too cute not to share with the world.

“I like to think of myself as the ultimate dog mom, maybe sometimes a little bit of a crazy dog mom because I have so many different accessories with Ham on them.”

She’s got paintings, T-shirts, sweatshirts, blankets, and more with Ham’s stinkingly cute face plastered on them. Much of her online content features her being a “crazy dog mom and what Ham endures with that every day.”

 

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A post shared by Hamilton Pierre (@sirhamiltonpierre)

“We also like to do a lot of the different social media challenges,” Tessa says. “So, a lot of our content is super relatable to other dog moms, just like with the bills, the daily messes, the joys, the laughs. So I think it’s super fun and definitely can relate to a bunch of people.”

The French Bulldog has come a long way in his puppyhood

Judging by his pictures, you wouldn’t know that Ham ever had any problems. However, as a puppy, he’s been through quite the ordeal.

“When I got Ham as a pup, he was 100% healthy, but unfortunately, when he was about two-and-a-half years old, he suffered a herniated disk in his lower back. The disk actually caused almost immediate paralysis in his back two legs,” Tessa explained. “Thankfully, I took him to the vet very quickly, and they were able to do surgery on him and helped him regain strength and movement in his back legs.”

After intensive therapy, Ham has healed completely and can live a full life. Luckily, he has the best owner in the world who helped him recover and regain his health. While he spends much of his time napping or posing for fans, he also socializes at birthday parties with his dog friends.

He even competed in dog pageants from time to time and won one at the Pasea Hotel! He placed 2nd in the “cutest bulldog” category in another competition. Having a dog, especially an adorable French bulldog, can bring so much happiness into your life. Tessa doesn’t take a day with Ham for granted.

“So my advice to any potential pet owners would be, if you have the time, energy, resources, space, and love, I would say go for it! Pets bring so much positivity into your life. Ham has brought nothing but joy into my life ever since I got him and has brought so many people I would have never expected into my life through him. So, he is an absolute blessing, and I’m so excited to spend so many more years with him, napping and just loving him.”

french bulldog

Final thoughts about the adorable Frenchie who loves showing off fashion trends

Ham’s dog mom, Tessa, loves dressing her French bulldog up in cute outfits. We have to say, he’s a great model and seems to be able to pull off any costume! Tessa truly enjoys trying out different costumes on him and posting them on social media for fans. He’s already modeled tons of outfits, but we’re excited to see what he’ll wear next. If you want to keep up with the latest dog fashion trends, make sure to check out Ham’s Instagram!

Man Proves How Adopting a Cat Is Therapeutic

Kermit, a 6-year-old tabby cat, lives with his human Javie in Los Angeles, California. Adopting a cat was the best decision Javie ever made, as its been very therapeutic for him.

When he was just 7 years old, Javie was sexually abused by a trusted family friend. He finally shared his story 15 years later, but the experience left him with severe trauma.

His abuser said that he would hurt his family if Javie ever told anyone what happened. He also threatened to do the same thing to his little brother if he shared the secret. Confused and afraid, Javie decided to not say anything and just try to forget about it. However, the memories never completely faded, and Javie started to have terrifying flashbacks.

He could no longer carry the burden of what happened to him, and finally opened up to his mom. She was nothing but supportive and concerned for her son, and suggested therapy as the best option. He felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, as he understood his abuser was 100% to blame. Later, the idea of adopting a cat came up in conversation, as his mom thought it would help comfort him.

The Value of Therapy Pets

adopting a cat“Back in 2015, while going through therapy, my mom came up to me [and said] that we should look into adopting a cat,” Javie said. “We decided to go one day, and I remember opening up the cat door – the first cage that I saw was Kermit.”

Once he locked eyes with the adorable feline, Javie instantly knew he should adopt Kermit. He walked to his cage and read the name tag that said: “Hello, my name is Kermit.” He looked over and said hi to him, and Kermit blinked very slowly. Somehow, Javie knew that was a sign he should adopt the cat, and the rest is history.

Adopting a cat has helped Javie overcome his past

While adopting a cat can’t erase the abuse, it has helped Javie’s mental health immensely. In today’s world, millions of people have support or therapy animals to help with mental illnesses. They can provide a lot of comfort and companionship when you need it most.

In the U.S. alone, there are 50,000 registered therapy cats and 500,000 therapy dogs. Dogs seem to be the most popular pet, but cats can give unconditional love and affection as well. Kermit quickly warmed up to Javie; he just seemed to sense how much Javie needed him. They bonded right away, and became virtually inseparable.

“The day I brought Kermit home, I remember leaving the cat box in the middle of my room. I had left it open, I wanted Kermit to be comfortable and come out when he was ready,” Javie said. “I remember jumping onto my bed and flipping through the TV. It might’ve been 5-10 minutes, [then] Kermit slowly crept out of the box and jumped straight onto my bed. He started putting his head against mine and just rubbing against my head, and I’ll never forget that moment.”

 

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Javie and Kermit have a bond that is unmatched by any other member of the family. Kermit doesn’t even meow to anyone except Javie! Of course, cats always seem to have a favorite human, so this isn’t too surprising. However, Javie’s reason for adopting a cat makes the story even more meaningful. While the two share a tight bond, Javie still enjoys watching Kermit interact with the rest of the family.

“I find it so funny that Kermit only meows back to me. He could never meow back to mom or brother. But, I do remember when my little brother who was 7 came over to watch Star Wars. While we were watching the movie, Kermit jumped on top of the bed and just nuzzled my little brother on the nose. I was a little bit jealous, but still so happy that Kermit was opening up to my little brother.”

Kermit has been instrumental in helping Javie heal

In a video for The Dodo, Javie opens up to his audience about his past. He says that before Kermit came along, life was pretty difficult. His therapy sessions were helpful, but he was still having a hard time processing and overcoming the abuse.

When he decided on adopting a cat, it seemed like Kermit came to him at just the right time. Sometimes, it seems that pets can understand us better than anyone else. When Kermit meows at Javie after he asks him something, it feels like Kermit’s actually having a conversation with him.

 

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A post shared by Javie & Mr. Kermit (@mrkermitmeow)

“He is somebody that I can always talk to and I’m not going to get any judgement from,” Javie says. “My favorite part is just talking to him, because I know he’ll have something to say. He’s changed so much of my life. I’m so grateful for him, so grateful.”

You can easily see how close the two are on their Instagram page. They talk with each other, cuddle, sleep together, and everything in between. Kermit has helped Javie overcome his trauma. But Javie also gave his feline companion a priceless gift. Animals need love just like humans do, and Kermit has no shortage of it with Javie around.

“I definitely recommend adopting a pet. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but it was a rewarding experience for sure,” Javie says.

Final thoughts on how adopting a cat was a life-changing event for Javie

Javie held a painful secret deep inside for 15 years. During that time, he had no idea where to turn, but knew he had to tell someone what happened. After he confided in his mom, his life and mental health improved so much. He started therapy, and decided on adopting a cat so he’d have extra support and comfort.

He had no idea how much Kermit would change his life. Javie couldn’t imagine his life without him now, and shares their unconditional love all over social media. Animals may not speak our language, but they seem to understand us in ways others can’t.

Meet a Male Cockatiel Who Loves to Snuggle with His Friends

Chirpy the cheeky cockatiel lives with his loving owner Liz in Perth, Western Australia. The adorable little bird enjoys cuddles, head rubs and hanging out with his “hoomans” the most. While these birds require more care than some pets, cockatiels are known for being loving and affectionate. Liz waited a while to adopt one, but once she saw Chirpy, she had to have him.

“I’ve wanted a cockatiel for as long as I think I can remember, but for whatever reason, the time was never right. It was one day during lockdown and we went to a local pet shop, and there was Chirpy all by himself,” Liz recalls. “That’s when I kind of knew that yep, he was the one, and I wanted to take him home. That was it, and the rest was history.”

She adopted Chirpy when he was about 2.5 months old, and they’ve been together nearly two years now. He’s a grey male cockatiel with the classic red-orange cheeks and yellow head and neck. He’s a beautiful, handsome bird, and he and Liz have become best friends.

In the beginning, though, Chirpy seemed a bit frightened in his new environment and needed time to adjust. Like most animals, he responded well to food and let his guard down a little.

“I don’t think he was quite hand tamed at that point, so when I brought him home, I had to take it really slowly with him,” Liz said. “I bribed him with a lot of seeds, and then before we knew it, we were best friends.”

What it’s like owning the adorable cockatiel Chirpy

Chirpy hangs out with Liz all day, and only goes to his cage at night to sleep. Chirpy’s favorite activity is hanging out on Liz’s shoulder. He can say a few things like “hello”, “Little birdy”, and “Hello little birdy.” Liz thinks his little “hello” is the cutest of them all, though!

When he’s not talking up a storm, he enjoys cuddling with Liz. She says that’s her favorite thing to do with him since he’s such a great cuddler. Who knew birds could cuddle just like dogs and cats do? If you get a cockatiel, expect lots of affection and cuddles, because that’s what they do best!

However, getting a bird comes with a lot of responsibility, as they need specialized care. Liz has the following advice for anyone wanting a pet bird:

“Being a bird owner, I think you really do have to take some things into consideration. If you’re considering getting a bird, always make sure that you’ve actually got an avian vet close to you. If you really can’t provide the appropriate vet care, then maybe owning a bird isn’t the right pet for you – maybe you should consider a different kind of pet.”

Despite the challenges of being a bird mom, Liz wouldn’t change a thing. Chirpy definitely brightens up her life with his cute little voice and affectionate cuddles.

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“I really couldn’t imagine my life now without Chirpy. It’s been so rewarding having him and watching our relationship grow from when he was a really frightened little bird to the friendship we have now.”

Interesting facts about cockatiels

  1. The cockatiel was first discovered in Australia in 1770. However, it didn’t become popular as a pet until the Australian gold rush in the 1900s.
  2. You should never cook with Teflon or any other non-stick cookware if you have birds in your home. Fumes emitted during the cooking process can lead to injury and even death, as birds are very sensitive to these chemicals.
  3. If you spot cockatiels in the wild, you’ll see huge flocks of them searching for bodies of water to find reprieve from the Australian heat.
  4. Cockatiels are known as very sociable birds who need lots of interaction. They will become depressed if you leave them alone for long periods of time. If you know you’ll be gone most of the day, make sure to get another cockatiel for it to play with.
  5. Male cockatiels talk and whistle more loudly and often than females. This is because in the wild, males use their voices to attract females.
  6. Cockatiels are the most popular bird in the parrot family other than parakeets or budgies.
  7. Cockatiels can live up to 25 years on average, though most live to around 15 years. However, some can live up to 32 years old. In fact, the oldest cockatiel on record lived to an age of 36! Their life span depends on proper care, nutrition, and environment.
  8. Cockatiels enjoy whistling more than talking, unlike some parrots. Some cockatiels can even whistle whole songs!
  9. Cockatiels need about 14 hours of sleep each day.
  10. Male cockatiels are no deadbeat fathers. Even though the mothers hatch the eggs and care for newborns, the males don’t fly away and abandon their newborns. They’re very protective of their family. They will even fight off much larger predators in the wild who threaten their family. Like the mothers, the fathers nurture their young and behave quite affectionately toward them.
  11. Cockatiels are prone to “night frights,” where they become spooked or distressed at night. This happens when they can’t understand the source of a sudden noise or movement during the night. So, in an attempt to escape possible harm, they thrash around in their cage as they try to fly away. To prevent or at least reduce occurrences of night frights, place a small night light near their cage. Also, avoid covering the cage fully so some light can still get in.
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A post shared by C H I R P Y (@chirpy_tiel)

Final thoughts on the male cockatiel who loves to cuddle

Most people don’t think of birds as being very cuddly, but Chirpy the cockatiel may surprise you! His mom says he’s very affectionate, spending most of his day hanging out on her shoulder. The friendly bird loves hanging out with his humans, as most cockatiels do.

It’s easy to see why these birds make wonderful pets. Some cockatiels even love to go on adventures with their owners! If you have the time and resources for a pet bird, definitely consider a cockatiel!

9 Ways Obsessing Over Success Fuels Anxiety And Stress

Everyone wants to succeed. If you’re willing to work hard towards your goals effectively and positively, you’re likely to gain achievements and reach goals regularly throughout your life. There are many ways to get to your dreams of success, as long as you go about it in a balanced way. On the other hand, obsessing over success can impede your growth.

It’s hard to work towards goals when you’re feeling anxious, worried, or suffering psychologically. And, ironically, these kinds of problems can crop up when you become a little too focused on the idea of reaching goals and dreams. Here are nine ways obsessing over success fuels anxiety and stress.

1.    You Focus On Optimization and Never Get Started

A focus on success can often mean you want to be perfectly prepared for everything before you even begin trying to work towards success.

success memeFor example:

  • You refuse to begin hiking because you don’t have the perfect gear for it when in reality, you can certainly make do safely with what you already have.
  • You attribute other people’s success to the tools they had available and don’t want to begin chasing success without those tools, even though those tools are meant to supplement, not give you an easy ride.
  • Often you state that it’s not “the right time” to start working on your latest interest, even though there is no such thing as a “right time,” and you could have gotten far if you just started when you first wanted to.
  • You use phrases like “When the time is right,” “When I have my ducks in a row,” “When I have those things” to delay starting on projects.

This kind of thinking often manages to slip through the cracks as it’s all in the guise of being “prepared” or “wise,” even though it just continually delays any progress at all. In the meantime, you feel stressed out and anxious thinking about even beginning and continue to avoid getting a start by making more and more excuses.

All the anticipation and tension can build up over time, causing more stress. On top of that, the bottom line is that all that preparation cannot sufficiently guarantee success or circumvent failure. You’ll feel even more stressed out and anxious when you’re forced to confront the reality that all that stalling didn’t do anything for you in the long run.

2.    You Chase Ideas Of Success You Don’t Believe In

Ironically, the more you obsess over something, the less clear it can become in your mind. As your obsession with success grows, your idea of it morphs, too, turning it into a more abstract, idealized concept that doesn’t have much basis in reality.

In truth, success can be a unique concept to each individual who dreams of it. You have to define exactly what success means to you to create actionable goals that move you towards it. If you fail to do so, you’ll have no direction as you start charging ahead.

Stress and anxiety often arise when you don’t know what you want out of the idea of success. You’ll keep chasing this undefined concept and will have no idea what it actually means, leaving you feeling unfulfilled, lost, and unsure of yourself.

3.    You Stop Being Grateful

Being focused on success can mean forgetting about the good parts of the world you live in. Your vision becomes narrowed to accommodate the chase for success and little else, and your obsession can make you focus on all the negative things you run into. And, naturally, there are many “failures” and hurdles on the path to success.

Focusing on these bad things can up your stress and anxiety already, but it also means you’re less grateful. You overlook your progress in favor of zooming in on your stutters. It’s not a good way to live and derails positive thinking quickly.

Success shouldn’t be the only thing you ever devote your attention to. Look around and find things to be appreciative of in your everyday life, and it’ll take the edge off daily stress and anxieties regarding your goals. Long-term gratitude can change the way your brain functions, allowing it to see positive things more easily, thus reducing those worries and increasing your real chances of success.

4.    Obsessing Might Make You Lose Sight Of Passion

Not everyone can pursue their passions in line with their pursuit of success, and it’s okay if your personal definition of success doesn’t include your hobbies or non-career interests. However, what’s not okay is completely neglecting these passions in favor of obsessing over the success you seek.

Taking time to indulge in your interests and subjects of enjoyment are important parts of reducing stress and anxiety. If you never feed your soul and positive thinking with the things you love, you’ll wind up subjecting your mental health to a lot of trouble. Don’t let your drive for success make you forget that there’s more to your life than that!

5.    You Compare Yourself To Others

When you’re obsessed with success, it’s easy to start comparing yourself to others. For example, you may:

  • Want the same kind of success that other people have
  • Try to compete with other people’s progress
  • Feel discouraged when you’re not progressing as quickly as others
  • Become complacent if your progress is faster than other people’s
  • Define success by the people around you

While there’s nothing wrong with being motivated by the achievements of others, constant social comparison is detrimental to your positive thinking. It can quickly and easily become a source of stress and anxiety.

It’s not possible to properly compare yourself with anyone in a way that’s accurate or matters. You aren’t privy to every detail and component of someone’s progress and success. So you can never be sure if everything is comparable. Regardless, your success shouldn’t be dependent on others.

struggle meme6.    You Lose Sight Of What Really Matters

People who are obsessed with success tend to think that they’ll find happiness by finding success. Based on studies, that’s not true. The people who live the happiest, most positive lives develop connections to others and base their lives on love and relationships, not on the things they achieve.

If you’re looking for happiness, you’re unlikely to find it by chasing success at an overdone rate. You’ll only get more and more stressed out as your efforts fail to bring you happiness or even any of that achievement you desire. Don’t lose sight of the things that are truly important in life, like your loved ones. When your successes are left behind as you retire and relax in old age, you’ll want to be surrounded by loving people and have lots of lovely memories with friends and family.

7.    You Forget To Take Care Of Yourself

An obsession with success makes you very single-minded when it comes to chasing down what you want. This can make you neglect yourself, your needs, and your self-care, and these things are all crucial for the positive management of anxiety and stress.

It’s honorable to want to put a lot of effort into following your goals but remember that to reach them. You have to be in good health – both physically and mentally. If you don’t ensure that your wellbeing is cared for, you won’t have the energy you need to succeed.

Here are some tips for ensuring that you take care of yourself:

  • Schedule “me-time” that’s completely non-negotiable for at least a few minutes a day and a longer stretch of time during your off days.
  • Remember to take care of your health – eat well, sleep well, and get enough physical activity, even if doing these things takes away from your time spent chasing success.
  • Let yourself rest and relax now and then, and remember that taking breaks is extremely important to overall success.

8.    You Don’t Recognize Your Limits

Being ambitious is a good thing! But those ambitions need to be reasonable. It’s a great idea to challenge yourself with the goals you make, but it’s a bad idea to set borderline ones impossible. Unfortunately, an obsession with success can make you think that your most unreasonable expectations of yourself are perfectly workable.

Overdoing your ambitions can send you into a destructive spiral where:

  • 1. You set impossible goals.
  • 2. You fail to reach your impossible goals.
  • 3. You become anxious, depressed, and stressed out due to perceived failure.
  • 4. Your anxiety and stress make it even harder for you to reach your goals.
  • 5. You give up on your goals.

Make sure you’re keeping an eye on your limits. What is a reasonable challenge for you, personally? Where are your boundaries, and how can you respect them? How far are you capable of going before you burn out? All of this must be taken into account.

9.    You Forget How Success Requires Failure

When people are obsessed with success, they can easily forget that it’s not always going to be sunshine and daisies on their road to their goals. Failure is part of the process, as you can’t truly succeed in a meaningful way without making mistakes and learning as you go. Consider:

  • To achieve success, you will have to fail and learn from your mistakes several times.
  • The more successful you become, the more visible your mistakes grow to be. Thus, the shorter your stint on the platform of achievement may last.
  • Success in one area doesn’t mean you won’t face failure in other areas.

When you forget about these facts of life, facing any form of failure can send you into a rush of stress and anxiety. You’re so focused on success and its promises that you’re blindsided by and unable to cope with the reality that errors will happen, no matter what you do.

obsessingFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Success To Prevent Anxiety And Stress

Being driven by the idea of success is a great thing! But being so obsessed with it that you can’t see anything else is only counterproductive. The human brain needs to focus on more than just one thing to function well. Chase your ambitions, but be well-rounded, too! There’s a thin line between motivation and obsession, so don’t cross that boundary.

3 Ways To Become A Better Human Being Today

Almost every human being would like to improve and become better people as they move through life. Success, happiness, and goals often revolve around someone’s ability to continue growing as a person.

Of course, this is easier said than done. The desire to improve alone is insufficient when it comes to growing and bettering yourself truly. So what can you do? Let’s start small and simple. Here are three ways to become a better human today.

1.    Examine Yourself

To become a better person, you must first begin with the person who you are now. You can’t figure out which direction would be most favorable for you if you don’t even know where you’re beginning. Here are some things about yourself that you should examine. The knowledge helps you start your journey into growing and improving as a human being.

·         Your Identity

Your identity often relates to what you believe about yourself, what groups you feel most of, and how you perceive the person that you are. It can be helpful to consider where these specific ideas you have about your identity come from, whether you still feel like those identities are yours, and if you’re not satisfied with your beliefs and actions. Some of the essential portions of a human being’s identity come from the more prominent groups they’re a part of, such as their gender, race, or sexuality, according to research. How big of an aspect do these factors take upon you?

·         Your Values

Your values are the core beliefs that exist at the center of your being. They’re what truly defines you. Think of your ideals, what matters to you, who you are, and the kinds of people you should be spending your time with. Examining your values allows you to understand better your being, your goals, and where you should be spending your energy in life. Sometimes, examining those values gives you the chance to reflect on them. Thus, you learn if you need to make changes or align yourself better with them.

·         Your Actions and Behavior

Examining how you behave can be difficult, as you have to take an honest look at actions you may not have been proud of. That’s why it’s an essential step in becoming a better human. Think about different aspects of your behavior. How do you respond to lose, stress, failure, and anger? How do you manage complex and negative emotions? Finally, how do you treat the people around you? Answering these questions will grant you much-needed insight into your psyche.

·         The Changes You Want As A Human Being

Now that you’ve considered your identity, your values, and your behavior, you have enough information to examine what you’d like to change about yourself. What things do you want to work on? Don’t stick to generic descriptions. Instead, dig deep and find the exact, broken down, specific meanings of each desire. What do you mean when you say you want to be more in touch with your hobbies? Do you mean you want to cut down on other commitments? Or do you want to devote more time and effort to them or something else entirely?

2.    Work On Your Interests and Your Strengths

If you’re not sure where to start with becoming a better human being, an excellent bet lies in working on things that are already of interest to you. Spending your time improving what you know you already have sounds counterproductive, but let’s face it – no one can ever be good at everything, so you’ll want to focus on a few things you like instead of many things you’re not sure you enjoy. Here are some tips for focusing on these areas:

·         Do The Things You Love

There’s a lot of pressure to be “good” at everything, but sometimes finding joy and fulfillment is more than enough. Learning to understand that it’s okay to do what you love even if you’re not very good at it is a decisive step in improving yourself. So paint even if the rest looks messy. Sing even if you’re tone-deaf. Above all, try new things even if it takes you a while to stop being very bad at them!

There’s a lot of happiness, joy, and positive thinking to be found in things that fill your soul, even if they don’t fit the idea of “success” to others. And here’s the kicker – by repeatedly doing the things you love without worrying about technical skills, you’ll build your skills over time and get better and better.

·         Explore Talents

Not everything you’re good at will keep or hold your interest, and that’s fair. But before you right your talents off, fully explore the skills, strengths, and abilities you have. There are many hidden talents you may not have discovered and a fair few strengths that you haven’t explored enough to decide if you like them or not fully.

And there are many things you could excel in if you just gave them a chance! Basically, take all the time you need to explore those skills of yours. Be patient and don’t expect that everything will reveal itself to you immediately – and remember that even talent can only take you so far, and there comes a time where practice, motivation, and commitment to perfect the skill of a craft matter much more than initial aptitude.

·         Bring Yourself Into A State Of “Flow.”

“Flow” is a concept that refers to the act of being absorbed in the “zone,” which typically occurs when you are engaged in fulfilling work, an interesting hobby, or a subject of passion. It means you’re so deeply engaged and feeling positive in something that you enter an almost dissociative state of complete focus.

Entering a state of flow means finding something that is moderately challenging – too easy, and it’s boring and too hard, and it gets stressful – so you remain intrigued and concentrated. Anything can bring you into a flow state, but passions, hobbies, creative pursuits, and other personal interests tend to have the best effect. When something makes you enter that flow state, you know it’s something that you truly love, and that is right for you, so bring yourself into that state as often as you can!

compassion buddha3.    Improve Your Relationships With Others

Being a better human is often about more than just your relationship with yourself and your personal life. If you’ve ever looked at someone and thought they were a good person, you likely made that judgment because of how they interacted with other people, not because of the personal struggles that you weren’t even privy to.

This doesn’t mean that you should define your “goodness” as a person by others’ perceptions of you. Rather, it’s a testament to how important the way you treat others is and how it reflects your deepest values and true self. To become a better human, you must work on your relationships with others. Here’s how to begin:

·         Greet People Who You See

You don’t need to give everyone that you spot a big hurrah of a good morning or good afternoon. But a general greeting is always a kind thing to do. A little nod at someone whose eyes you meet walking by, a smile at the person seated opposite you on the train, and a “How are you?” to the person behind the counter. All of these are methods of greeting that don’t overstep comfortable levels. And, with people who you do know and meet directly, give direct greetings. They don’t have to be too long. Indeed, anything at all to show that you’re present and want to acknowledge those around you.

·         Be Respectful Of Others

People often like to say others must earn respect. It’s important to distinguish two different kinds of respect. One is the kind that should be earned, such as the respect you’d give to an inspirational person or a figure of authority. The other is the kind that you should give to everyone – basic, bare minimum respect for the presence of different thinking, living human beings around you. Affording primary care to others means understanding that they are well-rounded, whole people who are complex and unique. As such, you should treat them as you would want to be treated – a mark of basic decency. Also, it is an action that must be present in your journey to being a better human.

·         Listen To The People Around You

Many people hear, but few ever truly listen. While you’re not obligated to listen to everyone around you – especially those who spew negative, toxic, or hateful rhetoric – but many people want to be heard and to have their voice recognized and respected. Taking the time to listen to others genuinely builds your connections to the people around you and can impact your life and the lives of those around you in incredible, positive ways.

·         Think About How Your Actions Affect Others

It’s easy to get caught up in a selfish whirl of self-focused behavior. Things that seem easy to do and simple to you may be harmful or hurtful to others, and the people around you have different perspectives than you do. This doesn’t mean that you should turn into a pushover or a doormat – it means being mindful and aware of your behaviors, the way that they impact the people around you, and if you’re happy with the effect you have on those you spend your time with.

·         Help People

The act of being compassionate enough to help others without expecting or wanting anything in return is a beautiful trait of a kind soul. Good deeds done towards others are a mark of altruism, which has a significant effect on your wellbeing and positive thinking, and they help you to shift your focus onto people outside of yourself. Being able to help others means making a difference in the world. In fact, that proves to be a massive part of being a better human.

compassionFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Become A Better Human Being Today

The quest for self-improvement is a complex one, and that journey looks different to everyone. Starting by examining yourself to understand yourself and what you want to change is a good bet, and then moving on to working on your strengths and treating others well are easy transitions. You get to define the kind of human being you want to be. So get out there and find ways to improve that make you happy!

5 Ways to Overcome Feelings of Hopelessness

The experience of hopelessness is downright terrifying to many people. There’s a sinking, draining, constricting emotion that comes with these feelings, and they can weigh you down and make you feel terrible.

Due to how extreme hopelessness can be, it makes sense that you may be afraid of it. But this fear can be counterproductive and worsen your risks of those hopeless feelings! How can you fight it? Here are five ways to overcome the fear of hopelessness.

1.    Learn To Understand The Roots Of Hopelessness

The fear of hopelessness is a cycle, and all processes require understanding to break out. Most generic advice on overcoming fears of despair doesn’t give you sufficient insight into your fears’ roots, and hopelessness can be pretty diverse in the cause.

In general, hopelessness entails a general lack of passion, hope, positive thinking, or optimistic expectation for the future. It means seeing a bleak idea of your upcoming days, and it can trigger feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress. It makes sense to be afraid of this kind of emotion, but a fear of it can be counterproductive and increase its risk.

This is because being afraid of feeling hopeless means you’re either at risk for such an emotion or you have already had to escape that feeling before. Understanding the cause of your particular fears can help you manage the issues – whether current or past – that are perpetuating them. So, where does hopelessness come from? Here are its common roots:

hopelessness·         A Lack of Inspiration

Without positive role models or success stories to look up to, it can be difficult to imagine that anyone in your current position can get out of it and succeed.

·         A Feeling of Limitedness

When you’re struggling, hopelessness may arise when you both feel you lack the skill necessary to overcome your hurdles and lack general survival necessities.

·         An Experience of Alienation

If you’ve been made to feel like you don’t fit in, like you’re not worthy of support and love, or like you’re doomed to be rejected forever, you can feel hopelessness as a result of alienation. Worse still, you may further isolate yourself in fear of pain.

·         A Sensation of Captivity

Being in a bad situation, relationship, or environment that you can’t escape is a significant reason that many people feel hopeless.

·         An Experience of Oppression

If you are part of an oppressed group or minority, the knowledge of your oppression over things you cannot control can be overwhelmingly frightening.

·         An Experience of Abandonment

Have you ever been forsaken or left to struggle on your own when you were in your most significant time of need? It’s easy to see how this can make someone feel hopeless.

·         A Threat of Doom

Many people who are faced with their mortality, whether by illness or some other significant threat to their survival, can begin to wonder if there is any point in continuing at all.

·         A Feeling of Powerlessness

If you feel like you have no control over your life and its direction, you may feel hopeless or fear hopelessness as a result.

·         An Experience of Helplessness

Do you feel as though you’re in a very difficult or threatening situation but cannot free yourself from it? That helplessness is a quick precursor to hopelessness.

2.    Name and Admit Your Feelings Of Hopelessness

Complex emotions can be challenging to get to the deep roots of. This is especially true for something like fears of hopelessness or the beginnings of hopeless feelings. These experiences can cause dullness, heaviness, and a lack of motivation in everyday life, making it tough to feel like confronting them.

But if you don’t label your emotions, you won’t be able to regulate them. Studies show that naming those more complex experiences can be crucial to resolving and managing them in a positive way. Most emotions present as very simple on the surface, but digging into them reveals many other layers. For example, your fears of hopelessness may involve:

  • Anger
  • Annoyance
  • Bitterness
  • Boredom
  • Distrust
  • Fear
  • Gloom
  • Grief
  • Helplessness
  • Loneliness
  • Uneasiness
  • Worry

train brain stop worrying3.    Challenge Hopeless Thoughts

To overcome a fear of hopelessness, you can begin to prove to yourself that hopeless thoughts don’t have power over you. When you challenge these kinds of emotional patterns, you learn to process them properly and are equipped to deal with them. The goal is for you to eventually no longer feel daunted by thoughts like these. Here are some ways to challenge hopeless beliefs:

·         Argue

Whenever you begin having hopeless or fearful thoughts, argue against them. Point out evidence to the contrary and challenge them to a battle of wits. Pretend you’re debating for a competition or trying to deliver a big speech. You’ll learn that you can find all sorts of logical evidence that disproves your thoughts if you want to fight them.

·         Ask If You’ve Been Here Before

Most people experience feelings of hopelessness at some point in their lives, typically during difficult times. If you’ve been there before, you may fear going to this bad place again. But think about it – didn’t things change? Didn’t they get better? Didn’t you grow and learn? This is not to say that you’re 100% healed. Instead, it’s to encourage you to use positive thinking to see that hopelessness cannot trap you because you are strong enough to get out.

·         Know That Brains Can Lie

Your mind may tell you that you’re awful or that your situation is horrible and impossible. It may even attempt to convince you that you’re doomed never to improve or succeed. But brains can be mean sometimes, and they can build stories in a cognitive distortion that isn’t a reflection of reality. Remember that just because your brain insists on it doesn’t mean it’s true.

·         Consider If This Fear Serves You

Think about how your fear of hopelessness makes you feel. How does it affect your everyday life? The chances are that you gain absolutely nothing from this fear and that you may even hate the experience of living with it. If the fear is only hurting you, you deserve better than to be stuck with it, and this can give you the push you need to realize that it’s time to let the fear go. Taking action against these feelings can free you from them, so don’t sit and wait around anymore!

4.    Reframe Your Mindset To Positive Thinking

Positive thinking and optimism are so good for you that they can completely change the way your body reacts to common stressors. A paradigm shift can change your perception of things that once frightened you, including concepts as abstract and frightening as hopelessness. Though it’s no easy feat to swap your mindset around, you can get started in the following ways:

·         Think Of How Hope Can Improve Your Life

You’ve already considered how your fears may not be serving you. Now, consider how hope and courage can serve you. Think about the positive effects of hope, bravery, and a positive attitude. These changes are possible and within your reach, and it can be powerful for you to realize just how much you are capable of controlling all on your own!

·         Learn To Solve Problems

When you’re afraid or beginning to feel hopeless, the problems you face in life can feel astronomical. Remember, however, that most problems are ones you can either solve or learn to manage. You’re responsible for the betterment of your own life, after all. So start putting this into practice by learning to brainstorm, widening your worldview, and seeking advice and perspectives from others. When you realize you can fix many issues you face, you realize that hopelessness doesn’t have to be your fate.

·         Pick Out Hopeful Goals

You probably have dreams, ambitions, and life goals. In the face of hopelessness, though, there’s a chance you’ve forgotten or abandoned some of them. Instead of allowing your fears to win, think about goals that are full of hope. You see, goals don’t have to be so huge that they overwhelm you. Start small. What habits do you want to build? What little things would you like to incorporate more into life? Can you start meditating once a day, listening to new music more often, or checking out more books at your local library? And if you have loftier goals, visualize how incredible they are and how wonderful they may make you feel to achieve. Goals are full of hope by nature. Don’t lose sight of that!

5.    Seek Professional Help

Many feelings of hopelessness are part of mental disorders, which is why it’s so important to monitor your mental state. If you begin to feel that your fears and emotions are clouding your everyday life and impacting your daily capabilities, it’s time to get aid in a professional capacity. Here are some ways to begin:

·         Seek Therapy Or Counseling

Mental health professionals in this field are meant to be unbiased and can help you find management techniques for your problems in healthy, positive ways. They can also perform helpful forms of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, to correct how you respond to fears and hopeless emotions. It can take some shopping around to find a counselor suitable for you, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t find the right therapist immediately!

·         Seek A Diagnosis

If you have doctors or therapists who believe you may be experiencing a mental health disorder, it can be hard to come to terms with. But getting diagnosed allows you to be treated, which prevents you from experiencing that hopelessness you fear.

·         Seek Support Groups

Many mental health support groups exist out there, and they can help you feel much less alone. Groups are often equipped with a leader who offers professional-level support, and you and your peers can encourage, support, and advise each other.

hopelessness

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Hopelessness

It is okay to feel afraid, hopeless, or lost sometimes, and most people will experience these feelings at least once in their life. But these emotions don’t have to rule and control you. Learning to overcome your fears can help you live life in a more hopeful and positive manner.

4 Effective Ways To Deal With Rudeness

Have you ever had to deal with rudeness or selfishness? It can be a real pain to put up with, and worse still, they often have a way of twisting situations, so you end up looking like the bad guy!

If you have no choice but to share spaces with someone who behaves this way, you’ll need to be equipped with a bit of knowledge to survive their onslaught. Here are four practical ways to deal with rude and selfish people.

1.    Don’t Take It Personally

A lot of people wind up making the mistake of taking rudeness personally. That’s how you end up in situations where you’re invested in a clash with a selfish person and wind up losing your time and energy to them. Don’t let this happen!

Of course, that’s easier said than done. Rude people have an uncanny ability to get the attention they’re craving, and it’s tough not to respond to unfair or unfavorable treatment from anyone. So here’s how to stop taking it so personally:

rudeness·         Understand That This Happens All The Time

Selfishness and rudeness are hardwired into human nature; think back on the academics of old and their complaints regarding uncouth behavior! As such, when you’re on the receiving end of rudeness, it’s essential to understand that this isn’t a new phenomenon; people are selfish everywhere, all the time, and you’re just the unlucky person who happens to be on the receiving end this time.

·         Don’t Read Into Or Overthink It

It’s easy to wonder what you’ve done to deserve the selfishness or rudeness of others. Maybe something this negative person says has made you wonder if you’re at fault, or perhaps an offhand rude comment has your brain turning it over and over. Don’t overthink these things. A rude person doesn’t think you’re bad at what you do. They want to find something wrong with you and pick up whatever they can barely grab at.

·         Don’t Treat It As An Attack

Now you know rudeness and selfishness aren’t usually personal – so stop responding to those traits as if they’re attacks on you. They’re not attacks. They’re just random throws and hits on an arbitrarily picked target. The less you consider their selfishness a threat, the easier it’ll be for you.

2.    Ignore The Person And Their Behavior

People who treat you poorly, behave with toxic action, and bring down the people around them aren’t people who are worth any time, effort, or energy. That’s why it’s often best to ignore someone who behaves in selfish and rude ways. Here are some tips for doing this:

·         Don’t Make Eye Contact

Eye contact automatically communicates that you’re engaged with something, even if you aren’t. It’s a signal that you’re paying attention and handling rude people. It’s likely not a signal you want to give.

But don’t look down, as this communicates submissiveness or lack of confidence in the face of disrespect. Instead, look away, gazing straight in another direction, as if you’re looking at something in the distance.

·         Face Away With Your Body

Body language can speak louder than anything you say, meaning you can say positive things. Still, your body language will communicate your disdain to people if you’re not being sincere. When dealing with selfish people, this allows you to maintain politeness without engaging. You can respond relatively neutrally but face your body away, crossing your arms, and you’ll be sending signals that you’re not interested.

·         Show No Emotion

It’s easy to become angry at someone behaving selfishly or rudely, but don’t bother sinking to that level. Instead, react with no reaction at all. Often, these people want to get a rise out of you and become bored when they see that this isn’t working. A straight face or poker face is more than enough to send the message that you don’t think engaging with them is worth your time.

·         Walk Away

There is wisdom in knowing when to physically and spatially disengage from a situation with someone rude or selfish. Give a short, neutral response to the rude individual, then turn and walk away with your back straight and a confident stance. For people you don’t see often, this gives you the chance to escape this encounter. For people you’ll have to see again soon, it sets a boundary and gives you both space to breathe.

·         Opt For All-Out Avoidance

If someone is particularly selfish or rude and you’re at the end of your rope, simply avoiding them altogether can allow you to escape their negativity. When communication, boundary-setting, and redirection don’t cut it, you’re well within your right to cut a person off – or go a long way around at work, so you don’t have to see them. You can also mute someone on social media, block their calls, or stop responding to their goading messages if it happens virtually.

impatient person3.    Don’t React With Toxicity

It’s tempting to react to toxic behavior with some toxicity of your own. But not only do two wrongs not make a write, but this is also more wasted effort and time into someone who isn’t worth it. Anyway, why stoop to their level? Here are some tips for continuing in this mindset:

·         Don’t Escalate

Yes, selfishness and rudeness are very infuriating traits, mainly when directed towards you. But by escalating, you’re wasting your effort on someone unlikely to change their nature, and it causes unnecessary hassle and stress in your life. It’s much easier in the long-term to take a deep breath and focus on positive thinking. You may have to bring up this behavior to a superior or authority figure in some situations, and you’re welcome to do so. But don’t escalate by lashing out at the insolent person. It’s not worth it and won’t do anything to change your circumstances.

·         Don’t Fan The Drama Flames

It’s tempting to want to talk or gossip about someone notorious for being selfish or rude. But doing so gives them more airtime and attention, and it can worsen the stress of both you and the people joining in on the gossip. Again, it’s simply not worth it!

·         Stop The Cycle

Rudeness and selfishness often occur in a cycle. When one person behaves rudely, others respond in kind, often projecting their annoyance onto other individuals. This carries on and builds until positive thinking is lost and everyone is affected by poor mood and bad temper. If it sounds far-fetched, think of it this way. One rude act can make you angry enough to act rude to three other people because of your mood, and that rudeness spreads from those three to even more people. It’s a deadly cycle, and you can end it by simply not reacting with negativity to selfishness or rudeness.

·         Don’t Force A Person To Change

Some people want to have certain negative traits, or they don’t believe that what they’re doing is harmful. At that point, it’s important to remember that you cannot make someone else change their behavior. In fact, attempting to force a change can push them further into their habits, having a counterproductive effect.

4.    Call Them Out

A lot of selfish and rude people are used to being allowed to get away with their behavior. They enjoy the negative attention, and most people try not to rock the boat by directly fighting them anyway. That’s how this insolence has been able to continue – this person thinks there are no consequences for their actions!

Most people are afraid of confrontation, which may also be why this person hasn’t been called out. You can change that. Directly pointing out someone’s rude behavior forces them to acknowledge it somehow, and it sets a clear line: you’re not one to be treated poorly, and you won’t take it lying down.

But, as you’re probably thinking, this does present some problems. Calling someone out can end poorly or even become counterproductive if not done well. Here are some tips for calling out selfish and rude behavior in others:

·         Be Straightforward

No one likes someone who beats around the bush. It’s frustrating to have to try and find hints, and there’s a chance someone may not notice what you’re implying at all. So be direct. Point out someone’s hostile actions, ask them why they’re doing it, and cut to the chase quickly. This gives no room for error and gets the job done quickly.

·         Remain Calm

A lot of rude people enjoy the ability to get under other people’s skin. Displaying anger, aggression, or even sadness can fuel their desire to continue behaving negatively. So stay positive and calm, so it’s clear that you’re serious, not hindered by emotion, and not opening yourself up to having your buttons pushed further. Think before you speak and take the high ground.

·         Try Some Humor

Using humor is an excellent way to diffuse a situation, and it can have a positive effect on conflict. Make light-hearted, non-sarcastic jokes that point out someone’s actions and laugh in as authentic a way as possible. You want to remain smiling and friendly, so the rude person doesn’t immediately jump into defense.

·         Use “I” Statements

If you’re trying to solve a problem, you’ll want to communicate in a way that inspires understanding, not defense. Use language that puts you first instead of “you” statements that directly accuse them of something. For example, say, “I felt unheard when you talked over me” as opposed to “You never listen.”

·         Be Somewhat Empathetic

Look, there’s no excuse for rude behavior. But trying to understand why someone is behaving in the way they are can help you to humanize them better, know that it’s got nothing to do with you, and learn to circumvent this treatment in the future. There’s even a chance that a bit of empathy makes the selfish person less rude – though you shouldn’t hold your breath!

silence memeFinal Thoughts On Some Effective Ways To Deal With Rude And Selfish People

The world is full of different people, including those who aren’t the most agreeable. Some may be rude, selfish, or otherwise toxic in some way. Learning to deal with people like this in positive and effective methods will allow you to avoid the harm they may cause and move on with your life in peace.

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