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10 Relationship Killers No Couple Should Ignore

September 2, 2020 by Deborah Tayloe

Relationships are hard work. It seems there are more reasons that a relationship will fail than succeed. However, there are plenty of successful relationships, so it’s not impossible to make it work. No one is perfect, so no relationship will be perfect. One of the critical things to do in a relationship is to recognize relationship killers and fix them before they get out of control. Success is inevitable when both people in the relationship are willing to do their part.

Here are ten relationship killers that couples should never ignore.

““All bad behavior is really a request for love, attention, or validation.”― Kimberly Giles, Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness

1. Poor Communication

Bad communication is one of the top reasons that relationships fail. It doesn’t matter if one or both people communicate poorly. Eventually, things will crumble.

Bad communication can come in several forms. It could be that one person isn’t letting the other person in on their feelings. Body language may say something different than what comes out of a person’s mouth. You might even assume you know your partner’s feelings without talking to them.

It’s normal to have some communication issues. However, if you recognize these issues and work on them, you can save the relationship. Don’t ignore them because they’ll only get worse if you do.

2. Unwillingness to Cooperate or Compromise

A relationship is a partnership. It takes two to tango, and the dance isn’t going well if you don’t work together. Both people must be willing to give as much as they take.

While your relationship may seem like a match made in heaven, you must remember that you’re two different people. You’re not going to do everything precisely alike, so you need to be willing to compromise. There can be no cooperation without a bit of compromise.

If one or both people won’t compromise and cooperate to make the relationship go smoothly, this is a sign that the relationship will not work out in the long run. If you care about each other, you should try to identify the root cause of the lack of cooperation and fix it before it becomes a big problem.

3. Jealousy

Some people think jealousy means that your partner cares about them. After all, you can’t be jealous over something you don’t care about, right? Unfortunately, this is far from the truth.

Any good relationship should build from trust and respect. A jealous partner could be insecure and emotionally needy. The jealousy has absolutely nothing to do with whether they care about you. As the insecurity builds, so does the negativity. The relationship could turn verbally or physically abusive.

Jealousy is often a result of some underlying issues that the person has. If they genuinely want the relationship to work, they’ll get help in discovering and fixing those underlying issues. If they don’t get help, it will be a relationship killer.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Sex isn’t an essential part of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s unimportant. The desire to fulfill intimate needs is normal and natural. When your partner is not fulfilling this need, you’ll begin to feel like you’re missing something or, worse, that you’re not what your partner wants.

Intimacy doesn’t only mean sex. It encompasses those private, meaningful moments you share with your special someone. It’s what distinguishes a romantic relationship from a friendship.

If you lack intimacy, you must find out why immediately. There are a plethora of reasons that this could be happening, and not all of them are as bad as you may think. However, the issue does need to be addressed before one or both partners lose interest in the relationship.

5. Unfaithfulness

If your partner is unfaithful, this is a clear, unmistakable sign that your relationship is headed down a dangerous path. Despite this being obvious, many people try to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. This never works.

Cheating changes a relationship. The trust is broken, confidence is shaken, and the love between you is questioned. The person who was cheated on will be hurt deeply, and even if they pretend to be over it, they usually aren’t.

Cheating doesn’t have to be the end of a relationship, but saving it will take a lot of hard work. The cheater must be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to prove that they won’t cheat again.

6. Codependency

Codependency during a relationship is when someone dedicates themselves to making their partner happy, and the partner enables this behavior. It’s more than being clingy or really in tune with their partner. One person finds no joy in life other than doing any and everything to please their partner, while the other soaks it all up with no care that their partner has no life. In other words, one person needs someone, and the other needs to be required.

It may seem that it will work out if both partners are okay with this behavior. However, this isn’t the case because codependency is a mental health condition that usually stems from some past childhood trauma.

Codependency occured when someone had unreliable or unavailable parents as a child. The child grows up constantly suppressing their needs and desires and continues the behavior into adulthood.

It’s a behavior that can lead to an abusive relationship. It can become extremely dangerous because, over time, the partners’ mental state can become more and more unstable.

The bad thing about codependency is that it often takes someone outside of the relationship to recognize it. Once it has been pointed out, you and your partner must move mountains to fix this problem. You’ll likely need a lot of therapy.

7. Lack of Goals

If both partners have no goals, then maybe it won’t be a problem. They can be happy settling for less, provided they can pay their rent and not be homeless. However, if one partner has goals they are pursuing, being in a relationship with someone with no plans isn’t going to work.

A partner with no goals can become more of a burden as you rise and achieve success. They’ll be someone you’re towing along for the ride. They may even hinder your success.

Suddenly your relationship is not a partnership, and you may find that you don’t have much in common anymore. Your partner may begin to feel like they aren’t good enough for you, and you may start feeling that way, also. The only way to fix this problem is for your partner to have their own set of goals their working towards. You don’t have to have the same goals, but they must be similar for the relationship to work out.

8. Laziness

No one likes a lazy person. Lazy people hinder progress, don’t get things done, and cause more problems than they’re worth. They aren’t dependable, and they’re not any fun.

Lazy people may have problems at work. They won’t get raises or promotions. Indeed, they may have trouble keeping a job in the first place. This affects the relationship’s finances, and money is one of the significant relationship killers.

If your partner is lazy, you must immediately nip that in the bud. You may be tolerating it now, but it will ruin the relationship in the long run.

9. Holding Grudges

Everyone makes mistakes, but those mistakes shouldn’t be held against you forever. Perhaps you did something in the past to upset your partner. Your partner has probably concerned you also. However, at some point, you must let it go.

Holding grudges, especially if they’re minor, will only keep the drama going in the relationship. It kills trust, creates negativity, and causes passive-aggressive behavior. This negativity leads to a whole host of other problems.

Unfortunately, holding grudges is one of the typical relationship killers. If you or your partner are holding grudges against each other, talk it out and let it go. If you need to get professional help, do it to save your relationship.

10. Unrealistic Expectations

You can’t go into a relationship with your idea of a perfect relationship already in your mind. You must let the relationship develop on its own, the way it’s going to develop. Clinging to unrealistic expectations in a relationship can cause jealousy and competitiveness, ultimately undermining the relationship.

Unfortunately, a lot of people’s unrealistic expectations become fast relationship killers.

You can’t predict the personality of the person you’ll fall for any more than you can predict the lottery. You may know of qualities you prefer, but people are much more complicated than a few superficial qualities.

This is an easy problem to fix. Simply open your mind up to the possibilities. The same goes for your partner. Stop “expecting” and experience instead.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Killers You Shouldn’t Ignore

There isn’t one perfect relationship in the world, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore major relationship killers. It’s okay to have standards and to stick by them. Without these standards, your relationship is headed nowhere fast.

If you recognize any relationship killers, you first need to have a serious conversation with your partner. You should both be willing to put in the effort to fix the problems. Successful relationships are hard work, but the happiness that comes from them is worth it.

Researchers Explain 5 Benefits of Choosing Organic Produce

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever stood in the produce section wondering what all the hype about organic produce is? Well, you are not alone. Although organic fruit and vegetables have been around for a while now, many people still don’t know the benefits of buying organic foods. Indeed, most people don’t buy organic, although it’s starting to catch on.

In this article, you’ll read about five benefits that researchers have identified from buying organic foods over conventional produce. Keep reading to find out more.

What Does Organic Mean?

Before diving into the benefits, you should probably know what organic means. Most people have a vague idea, and they know that it’s sort of synonymous with healthy, but they may not know the exact details of what makes food organic. If you do, you can skip to the next section. However, if you don’t, keep reading.

The term “organic” refers to how farms grow their crops. In general, it means that they did not raise the vegetable or fruit with any prohibited substances. However, there are a few different organic labels to be aware of.

Foods may be labeled with “organic,” “USDA-certified organic,” or “made with organic ingredients.” Foods labeled with “organic” have been certified by an agency that is accredited with the USDA but may not have as many standards as the USDA. These agencies require the food to have been grown without pesticides and synthetic fertilizers.

The USDA takes things a step further by also requiring that the food not have artificial preservatives, colors, or flavors. When a food item meets all these standards, they get the “USDA-certified organic” label. This designation is the best choice out of all the titles.

The last label you won’t have to worry about for produce because it’s more for food items that have more than one ingredient. However, this label only requires the food to have at least 70% organic ingredients.

Five Benefits of Choosing Organic Produce

Organic foods were extensively researched over the decades. There are a lot of findings, but one thing that is common among them all is that organic is right for you. That fact remains undisputed.

So, what can organic foods do for people? There are a plethora of benefits to be gained by eating organic foods over regular items. Here are five benefits, as explained by researchers.

1. Less Risk of Allergy Diseases

There have been plenty of studies that show a link in increased food allergies and high levels of pesticides. It’s believed that the interaction of the pesticides with the food on a cellular level is the cause. Research on this matter is ongoing, but so far, most research comes to the same conclusion.

Some germ- and weed-killing products contain chemicals called dichlorophenols (DCPs). The breakdown of pesticides creates these chemicals. Interestingly, DCPs are also found in chlorinated drinking water in small amounts. While DCPs make food and drinking water clean, the levels that people are ingesting are beginning to build up.

It seems that making food “too clean” is leading to a reduced ability to tolerate certain foods. Allergy levels have been on the rise for decades, and researchers continuously find links to this allergy increase and DCPs.

DCPs disrupt many hormones in the body. Because of this, researchers are exploring the possibilities that DCPs may cause other problems like cancer and heart disease.

Buying organic produce significantly reduces your exposure to DCPs. While you may still get DCPs from drinking water, without the additional from pesticide-sprayed produce, your exposure levels are manageable. Buy organic to reduce your risk of allergies.

2. Decline in Obesity

It may not seem like the organic or non-organic status of produce would influence your weight, but it does. The effect is indirectly, but research supports the correlation between decreasing waistlines and organic food. Here is an explanation for why that happens.

One thing to consider is size. Organic fruit and veggies tend to be smaller than regularly fertilized ones. While there is no definitive scientific explanation for this yet, it is believed that this happens because of the cost of organic supplies. Since organic fertilizer cost more than regular fertilizer, farmers use less of it, resulting in smaller fruit and veggies.

Although the vegetable or fruit may be smaller, they still have the same amount of nutrients. However, they have fewer calories. This sounds great – and it is. However, that means that regular produce, the larger crop, has more calories but the same amount of nutrients. In other words, smaller portion sizes result from organic produce, naturally.

Besides the increase in calories, another concern is compounds such as resveratrol and other polyphenols. These compounds help you feel full and help to regulate blood glucose levels. In the bigger, less nutrient-dense produce, you get less of these compounds per bite, so you must eat more to feel full. With organic produce, it’s the opposite effect.

3. Improved Cognitive Development in Children

Plenty of research has shown a link between impaired cognitive development in children and non-organic foods. As stated earlier, chemicals like DCPs interact with hormones and cause all kinds of havoc in the body. Some of this havoc can affect developing brains.

According to a report published by Harvard Health, a study done by the European Parliament points to the problems starting in the womb. As pregnant mothers eat non-organic produce, the chemicals interact with the growing fetus as the brain develops. This type of damage can be irreversible after the fetus grows to full term.

For example, children who are exposed to these harmful chemicals in the womb have been shown to have thinner gray matter. Gray matter essential helps to process information in the brain. With more delicate gray matter, the brain is unable to process as much information as it should be able to.

Other brain-related problems from the chemicals used in non-organic produce include diminished neurobehavioral development, lower IQs, and the development of ADHD. A simple way to avoid the possibility of all these complications is to buy organic produce, especially if you’re pregnant.

Researchers explain how eating an organic diet reduces pesticides in your body.

4. Non-GMO Produce

By now, most people know that GMO stands for genetically modified organisms. This means that the DNA of the food has been changed through the targeting of specific genes in the food for scientific engineering. These genes are usually altered for reasons such as making food larger, making food last longer, growing fruits without seeds, yielding more crops at a time, and more.

Selective breeding is something that has been going on for centuries. Today’s GMO foods are really genetically engineered. However, the food industry uses the term GMO interchangeably. While the science behind GMO food is legal and well-researched, the concept is relatively new. Thus, many people share concerns about the long-term safety of these foods.

A big issue is that scientists and food safety agencies like the FDA or the USDA can’t definitively say that GMO food is safe. Instead, their recommendation is to consider the food on a case-by-case basis.

It’s not hard to read between the lines on this. They don’t know how safe it is yet.

Earlier in the article, we stated that organic foods with a “USDA-Certified organic” label are a guarantee that the food is not GMO. Therefore, if you want to avoid GMO produce, you should buy organic produce.

5. A Healthier Environment

Let’s be honest. The world is plagued by pollution and other human-made problems. It’s getting to a point where these problems can no longer be ignored. Unfortunately, pesticides and herbicides are a part of these problems.

One of the most attractive benefits of buying organic is that it dramatically helps the environment. Organic farming uses less energy and conserves water. It reduces pollution and soil erosion and even increases soil fertility because there aren’t harmful chemicals killing the nutrients in the soil.

Even your local wildlife will benefit from eating organic foods. Birds and small animals won’t ingest insects, seeds, or more that have been doused with harmful chemicals. These chemicals can kill these little animals.

Another consideration is that pesticides discourage pests. Of course, that’s the primary purpose of pesticides. However, the problem is that the pests only relocate to other places. This migration causes an imbalance in the wildlife habitat. Think about this – if the pests aren’t near the farms, they may be near the cities, or in other words, your home!

Overall, organic farming is healthy for all living things.

You can do your part for the environment by supporting organic farms. The more popular organic produce becomes, the more farms will go organic. It’s one of the easiest ways you could ever help save the planet.

Final Thoughts on Choosing Organic Produce

One of the biggest challenges in getting the organic trend to catch on is cost. Organic foods tend to cost more than regular foods. With the economy being unstable, people are reluctant to spend more if they don’t have to.

However, if you can make a little extra room in your grocery budget, it’s very beneficial to buy organic produce. You’ll be healthier, and so will the environment. What do you have to lose? Give it a try!

12 Things to Stop Taking for Granted Today

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Taking for granted everything you have in your life will only leave you feeling bitter and jaded. Feeling gratitude for what you have allows more abundance into your life because no matter what you have, you’ll feel happy. In short, the more content you can become with less, the more you’ll stop taking things for granted.

Having an honest appreciation for the simple things in life will take you a long way because you won’t have to play the comparison game. Keeping up with the Joneses’ doesn’t bring lasting happiness because material things and accomplishments can’t fill your soul. Therefore, you should feel grateful for what life brings you and practice non-attachment to anything material. This way, no matter if you have $5 or a million, your happiness remains the same.

With that said, people often take things for granted in life because they’re always in the pursuit of more, not appreciating what they already have. Make sure you stop taking these things for granted in your life.

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

Here are 12 things to stop taking for granted today:

Your family.

Sure, the family may get on your last nerve sometimes and make you want to pull your hair out, but they’ll stick by you during the tough times. We spend much of our daily lives with our family. So, of course, it becomes easy to take them for granted after a while. However, it sometimes takes the difficult moments in life to garner newfound appreciation for them. If you get stuck by a flat tire or lose your job, you’ll probably call someone in your family before anyone else.

Our family usually makes up a big part of our support system. Next time life throws you an unexpected hurdle and your family comes through to help you over it, make sure you tell them how grateful you are for them.

Friends

Your real friends will stand the test of time, no matter what you go through in life. The best kinds of friends also feel like family because they support you, cheer you on, and want the best for you in life. Life goes by pretty quickly these days, and we can’t always make time for our friends due to our jobs, kids, and other responsibilities. However, in your free time, make sure you give them a call or invite them over for coffee and show them your appreciation.

Life in general

Life deals us all different hands, and sometimes we may feel shorted by our circumstances. However, there’s nothing in life you can’t overcome with willpower and determination, no matter what situation you find yourself in. Even with all the turmoil and struggles, life is still so beautiful. When you take for granted the experiences life gives you, it leaves no room for growth or introspection about the lessons you’ve learned.

Having an appreciation and remaining grateful for life, even in the hard times, ensures that nothing can bring you down. A positive attitude helps you rise above the most turbulent and stressful situations because you know that you have all the power to conquer the storm.

Nature

Most of us take for granted the very elements and laws of physics that allow this Earth to exist. Without nature, we couldn’t survive on this planet, so we ought to treat our home with a lot more respect. You can show your thanks and appreciation for Mother Earth in many ways, from picking up trash along the road to merely feeling grateful for a home-cooked meal. Next time you go on a road trip or find yourself in a forest or on the beach, make sure to cherish all the gifts that nature gives you.

Love

Without love, life wouldn’t have very much meaning, and we’d all be robots. The love we receive from our friends, family, and significant others helps make us whole and gives comfort in a sometimes cruel world. You can find genuine love everywhere if you keep your eyes and heart open to it because life is just a mirror. Whatever you feel inside, you’ll see on the outside. Maybe if we all found love inside ourselves first, the destruction and hate would all disappear.

Your job

We all have to find a way to make an income somehow–unless we got fortunate and won the lottery or perhaps have a trust fund. Unfortunately, most people don’t enjoy their jobs and have them pay the bills. However, even if you don’t love your career or job, you can still find the little blessings that make it worth it. Even having a way to put food on the table and provide for your family should make you feel grateful for your work.

Yourself

We see an enormous amount of pressure on people in the world today, and these high expectations can put a damper on your self-esteem if you feel you don’t measure up. Give yourself some credit, though, and remember all the beautiful things about who you are. Please don’t compare yourself to others, either, because you have no idea what they deal with behind closed doors. Make sure to give yourself much self-love and care and show appreciation for the beautiful person you are.

Where you live

As kids, we love to explore and get to know the world around us. When we grow up, however, our hometown starts to look a little drab and boring. We want to expand our horizons and dream of seeing new places, but we start taking for granted everything we used to love about home. Even if you live in a pretty uneventful area, you can always find something to be thankful for about where you grew up. You probably have so many excellent memories with friends and family in your hometown, so make sure to cherish them.

The ability to learn new things

We came here to expand our consciousness and learn individual lessons, as well as to perform specific duties for our soul’s evolution. In life, you may go through periods where you feel unmotivated or uninterested in learning new things, and that’s normal. However, taking for granted your ability to absorb information will leave you stagnant if you don’t eventually decide to move forward. This doesn’t have to apply just to job training or career-advancing classes, either. Anything you do in life that makes you happy and offers a productive outlet is worth learning about and practicing.

Your health

We only get one physical body in our lifetime, so it’s essential to care for it and treat it with respect. Taking for granted your health will only cause problems later in life when it’s not so easy to reverse the damage done by lifestyle choices. Start practicing good habits today, such as exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and meditating so you can reap the many extraodrinary benefits of a healthy body and mind.

Your time

Many people don’t show appreciation or gratitude for their time, spending it frivolously. When you have moments of free time, you should spend them doing things you enjoy or that bring positivity into your life. It does not matter at all how you spend your time as long as it provides some type of benefit to you. If you plop down on the couch after work and spend hours in front of the TV, you probably won’t get much out of it.

Your free time shouldn’t be used as an escape from reality, but rather, a way to enhance your reality.

Your energy

We all have a limited store of energy, so don’t allow people to drain your batteries if they offer nothing in return. Use your energy wisely, on people and activities that bring you joy and peace. If you spread yourself too thin, you have nothing to give to yourself and others. We can only do so much in a day, so get in the habit of saying “no” to anything that causes you too much stress. You have to put yourself first because no one else will.

Final thoughts about things to stop taking for granted

Life comes with its share of troubles, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful. Remaining grateful and showing appreciation for life allows you to see through a different lens. Even if the world crumbles around you, finding the silver lining makes everything much more comfortable to cope with. If you have sturdy shingles over your head, loving family and friends, a good job, clean water, and food on the table, then you have everything in the world at your fingertips.

Wanting more will only leave you feeling disillusioned after a while. So, the only way to make it out of this life with a shred of sanity is to keep moving forward and give thanks for what life gives you. Keep your mind on the here and now, and let everything work itself out, because it always does in some strange way.

Psychology Explains How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Life never seems to go as planned, and it’s not uncommon for you to have a pity-party and feel sorry for yourself at times. You have the best of intentions on many things, but still, you cannot predict the mistakes or failures you will make in life. When things don’t go well, you become crushed, defeated, and you engage in self-pity.

What’s scary is that self-pity is as dangerous and as destructive as narcotics. Did you know that it’s a very addicting emotion that not only brings you a moment of pleasure, but it also can separate you from reality? However, you must know that this is very normal to feel this way when your world is turned upside down.

The key is that you cannot allow yourself to be stuck in this place for too long. Some people enjoy the attention they get when they are wallowing in despair. They love hugs, gifts, and well-wishes from friends and family.

If you want to get better, then you must recognize that you are addicted to the way pity makes you feel. No matter how hard it is and how bad you think, you must be positive.

Why You Should Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

You should know that feeling sorry for yourself is a natural human emotion that you will feel at various points in life. The problem comes into play when it consumes you, and you enjoy the attention that you get from this feeling. Remember, your pity-party also comes with exaggeration and some embellishments when you retell the story to others.

It’s also normal to amplify the little misfortune that occurred to make it grander than what it was. If you’re not careful, the deep sense of being helpless and hopeless will entangle itself around the fibers of your being. You may start to feel as if you are misunderstood and that people don’t appreciate you. All those doubts come rushing to you, and it’s hard even to feel loved.

Self-destructive thinking can destroy your esteem. You will become so wrapped up in the problems that you dig a big black hole to live in. Suddenly, you will feel a sense of entitlement as a victim, and you will begin to think that everyone else has a better life than you.

The rabbit hole of negative thinking

Negative thinking will get you nowhere, and you must be positive no matter how much you feel sorry for yourself. It would help if you used all this energy to turn the bad experience into something useful, like a test into a testimony.

Take time to reflect on what has happened, but use your story to help someone else. Do you think you’re the only one that’s ever had trouble in life? Someone else is struggling right now with the same things as you.

It’s what you do during these times of adversity that counts. Stop wasting valuable time being unproductive and use this as a time to grow and change.

Seven Steps to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Did you know that feeling self-pity can give you a slight dopamine rush to make you feel good? When you moan, complain, and sigh loudly, it’s very addicting. Sadly, the euphoria you feel will only last a few minutes, but you will continue to act this way because it feels good.

The problem is you’ve never learned how to express your emotions adequately. So, you need some positive ways to help you deal with the things that burden you. Here are some steps you should try to help stop feeling sorry for yourself.

1. Learn to Breathe

It’s essential to calm your mind and body when you feel all those thoughts of self-pity come creeping inside. The easiest way to do this is to sit in a comfortable place with your eyes closed. You want to take deep breaths in through your nose and hold them for about 5-6 seconds, then release them through your mouth.

Try to keep your thoughts focused on positive things, which will be hard to control at first. Setting a timer will help you to ensure that you do this for two minutes. It will appear that breathing is an insignificant way to control self-pity, but this exercise can help you to relax your mind.

According to psychological research, rhythmic breathing allows you to focus and clear out negativity.

2. Embrace Feelings of Gratitude

Are you thankful for all the things you have, or do you always compare yourself with others? The Universe has blessed you with many things, though you may not drive that fancy sport’s car you want.

When you learn to have a heart of gratitude, then you will be entrusted with more. Stop feeling sorry for the things you don’t have and be thankful for what you do possess.

3. Incorporate Optimism

You’ve probably heard the wise saying about whether you see the glass as half empty or half full. While it’s overly used, it does well to prove a point. It would help if you found ways every day to incorporate optimism into your life.

What’s the number one thing that you grumble about each day? Is it the overflowing trash can that vexes you or the dishes that pile up quickly in the sink? Rather than look at these things as chores, look at the blessings. Those dirty dishes meant that you had food to eat, and the overflowing trash can imply that you’ve been blessed with items too.

When you change your outlook on the little things, it will help you incorporate stuff on a more significant level.

4. Accept the Feeling

When you feel yourself wanting to wallow in your self-pity a bit, you should embrace the feeling and move on. Research suggests that it is better to allow yourself 5-10 minutes to feel sorry for yourself and then cut it off. Don’t allow yourself to make a habit of these feelings. Accept what you think and move on.

5. Reach Out to Others

When you feel overwhelmed by life and the circumstances around you, you must reach out to your support group. You may have family, friends, or a counselor that can help you with the events in your life.

Like death, divorce, and job loss, some things are more challenging to fend off than other things. If you’re going through some serious times, then don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

6. Get off Social Media

Nothing is worse than seeing everyone else’s life seem so perfect when yours is not going so well. Social media has created a façade of people that appear to be perfect, but what you see is far from reality.

When you are down and out, don’t look to social media to boost your spirits. The negative news and downright garbage on these channels can make you feel worse.

7. Set Realistic Daily Goals

If you can’t seem to lift your head up from the pity-party you’re having, then you need to set small, daily goals that you can obtain. For instance, rather than having a target to quit these feelings cold turkey, why not set daily goals.

For instance, you can say things like, “I will name five things I am thankful for when I get out of bed each day.” Gratitude is a small first step that can mean everything in changing your outlook. Maybe you can’t stop crying.

When you feel the tears forming in your eyes, perhaps it would be an excellent time to turn on one of your favorite comedians or watch a funny video clip. Find effective coping mechanisms that work for you and your situation.

Final Thoughts on Why It Is Essential to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Perhaps one reason you feel sorry for yourself and are not willing to change your views is that you have lost faith. Maybe you don’t think you have what it takes to make changes, or perhaps you don’t trust the world around you anymore.

There is so much negative around the world that you can easily get caught up in all the pessimism. You must surround yourself with people who help to lift you rather than tearing you down. You want those around you that have a zeal for life and seem not to let anything that comes their way get them down.

When you start believing in your abilities, you will soon learn how to change to an optimistic thought process. Additionally, it should be said that sometimes there are mental health conditions that cause you to feel sorry for yourself.

Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can inhibit your ability to see things clearly. When you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, you may not have the ability to reason your way through situations. If you need help and to reach out to a therapist, then it’s advisable that you do is sooner rather than later.

Additionally, you should know that many herbal treatments can help you with depression. You can use your inner strength to pull yourself out of this funk. Believe in your heart that you can do it, and you will overcome it.

15 Morning Affirmations to Brighten Your Day

September 2, 2020 by Deborah Tayloe

Morning affirmations are one of the most efficient preparation methods for the day. Are there things about your life that you want to change? How often have you crawled in bed after a long day and thought tomorrow would be better?

Consider the many times you’ve said you would start eating healthier or would not allow people to walk all over you anymore. There is a desire to make changes deep inside; sometimes, this urge is so strong you cannot sleep. Yet, things the next day don’t change much.

The problem is that you procrastinate. Nothing ever goes as you expect because you get caught up in the new day’s troubles and forget about all the goals you made. Why do you seem to postpone things you must do?

You’re not mentally prepared to make any changes, and adjusting your life is stressful. You may be completely overwhelmed by the whole process, which is normal. The key is that you must be confident in your abilities, and the best way to build your confidence is by using morning affirmations.

Stop Overthinking Things

Why do people procrastinate? The number one reason people put off things is that they are uncertain of what will happen next, and it’s scary. Sure, you would love to be your own boss and start a business, but all the thoughts of failure and the fear of the unknown weigh heavily on you.

Another thing that holds you back is rejection, which is why morning affirmations are so important. Why is rejection so hard to handle? Your mind will play clips of different scenarios until you have self-doubt and debate if the idea will be profitable.

Somewhere in your mind, you contradict all the plans you made the night before. It isn’t easy to reprogram your subconscious mind to align with your conscious, but it must be done if you want to go forward.

Doubt always rears its head when you try anything new. Even though you are fully aware that rejection is not a life-threatening situation, the emotional turmoil that you will experience can be unbearable.

The Importance of Building Confidence

If you want to overcome all your doubts, you must reprogram your mind to be positive. It would help if you had confidence and faith in yourself and your abilities. Faith allows you to think about the future with optimism, and your confidence will give you the courage to do things you never thought possible.

You must reinforce your subconscious mind to make changes, and the best way to boost this part of your brain is through morning affirmations.

Understanding How Your Subconscious Works

Many people don’t know how their subconscious mind works, so they don’t know how to make changes. All your life experiences are stored in this part of the brain, which in return, creates habits.

If you had three sales jobs that you were fired from because you were a horrible salesman, you might be afraid to start a business that involved making deals.

What if you were neglected as a child and had to fend for your food? You may feel uncomfortable when the refrigerator and pantry get low on groceries. You may even hoard food because your mind remembers when you went without anything.

Take, for instance, the Ohio River. It has flown a certain way for centuries. The water doesn’t know any way to follow except the paths it’s already forged. Now, try to turn that water in the opposite direction and see what happens.

Have you ever created a whirlpool effect in a swimming pool? You go around in circles one way until the water flows at a reasonable speed in this direction. What happens if you switch and try to go the other way?

The current would be so strong that it would prevent you from moving too far. Think about that water and the resistance you feel as it’s the same effect when you make changes. Your mind is programmed to go one way, and any change brings forth oppositional.

Now, there is good news. You can change your brain by reprogramming it to see and think about things differently. While you cannot erase all the failures in your life, you can boost your self-confidence by using little tricks like morning affirmations.

Boost Your Confidence with 15 Morning Affirmations

Do you love yourself? Do you have faith that you can do what you need to accomplish? Are you ready to stand up in the face of opposition and change your life? Here are fifteen morning affirmations that you can use to retrain your brain to be more positive.

1. Troubles let me showcase my assets.

2. I like change and effortlessly adjust to new circumstances.

3. Wonderful things are happening in my life.

4. Today will be spectacular, and I will accomplish all my goals.

5. I am independent, resourceful, and resilient.

6. I love me, and I’m enough.

7. I will overcome every hurdle in my life to fulfill my dreams.

8. I am dependable, reliable, and a hard worker.

9. I accomplish everything I put my mind to.

10. I am surrounded by people who love and support me.

11. I feel vigorous and resilient today.

12. I constantly see the good qualities in myself and others.

13. My history will not influence my future.

14. Fortune and success run to and through me.

15. I will thrive by attracting people who can help me grow.

Be Careful of Things Around You

Don’t let the negativity of others ruin your motivation. Just because your friends or family members lack confidence doesn’t mean that this must be your outlook. What if your friend told you repeatedly about this fantastic restaurant in the downtown area that is so horrible?

If they went on about the décor, the food, and the place’s filth, would you ever want to eat there? Of course, you wouldn’t want to eat there. When others influence you, it can change your perceptions. Don’t allow people’s negativity to penetrate your spirit.

You can have all the self-confidence in the world and be ready to tackle the day with your affirmations, and one coworker with a lousy attitude can change everything. Develop a “thick skin” and make sure that the negativity of the world around you goes in one ear and out the other.

How your imagination impacts your thoughts

The effect your experiences have on your choices doesn’t stop with you. You can also be affected by fictional events. Have you ever watched a horror movie?

Imagine that you are driving down the road, and a semi-truck carrying a load of timber gets in front of you. You can’t help but remember the movie Final Destination when those logs flew off the truck and into the cars behind it. The 21 logs not only damaged vehicles but it killed people. As you are behind a truck in a similar situation, you can feel anxiety creeping up your spine and settling like a pit in your stomach. Remember that this fictional story was created for dramatic effect, yet your mind is already going into panic mode when you’re in a similar situation.

Be careful what you inject into your mind and spirit from television, the internet, or your friends and family. All these things dramatically impact your determination and fears that will hold you back.

What if you wanted to start a business where you installed HVAC units? You discuss the idea with your friends who have a story of failure that happened. They tell you of a friend who lost everything when someone sued them because they incorrectly installed an HVAC unit. Even if you were on Cloud Nine when you arrived at their home, now you are leaving feeling like you’re doomed before you ever get started.

Quit letting other people’s experiences dictate yours. There is nothing that says that someone else’s failures are going to happen to you.

Final Thoughts on Waking up and Reciting Your Morning Affirmations

The best way you can love yourself is by using morning affirmations. They will help you start each day on the right foot and with the necessary momentum. When you change how you perceive life, you can also change your actions.

Having confidence in your abilities doesn’t mean that you do not feel scared. Instead, it means that you are ready to face the challenge head-on. To create certainty, you must engage in things to build your esteem. The only thing that will help you overcome your failures is faith and persistence toward the things of the future.

12 Early Signs Of Iodine Deficiency Most People Ignore

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Iodine, typically found in seafood, is an essential mineral used by the thyroid gland. It works by helping the body to produce thyroid hormones, repair cell damage, control and manage growth, and promote a healthy metabolism. But do you know you might also have an iodine deficiency?

Sadly, many people risk developing a deficiency in this vital mineral. Statistics show that about one-third of the earth’s population may be at risk! Deficiencies can lead to symptoms that range from mildly uncomfortable to dangerously severe.

For those who experience less severe symptoms, it can be hard to tell when you are experiencing such a deficiency. As a result, you should ensure you’re aware of warning signs that could reveal your risk. Here are twelve early signs of iodine deficiency most people ignore.

1. Hair Loss

Are you struggling to feel optimistic about your balding scalp? You might be suffering from iodine deficiency. Iodine is a substance that the thyroid gland takes from food and turns into hormones called thyroxine and triiodothyronine. These hormones are responsible for many things, including your hair’s health and subsequent hair loss.

A study showed that 30% of its participants suffered from hair loss as a side effect of iodine deficiency. This is because the thyroid hormones created by iodine are responsible for:

Regenerating hair follicles upon their death or loss
Controlling the growth of hair follicles
The positive health of your hair
The development of hair from the root

As a result, a lack of iodine causes:

Thinning across scalp and eyebrow
Reduced hair growth
Increased hair fallout

Therefore, if you find yourself struggling with hair loss, consider that this may be a symptom of iodine deficiency.

2. Increased Feelings Of Cold

You may think that feeling cold isn’t a sure sign of an iodine deficiency, but it is. Studies reveal that over 80% of people suffering from low levels of thyroid hormones are often more sensitive to cold temperatures than the norm.

This is because:

Thyroid hormones are responsible for controlling one’s metabolism speed.
Low thyroid hormones often result in slower metabolism rates, producing less body heat.
Thyroid hormones help promote the creation and activity of brown fat.
Brown fat is a type of fat that is primarily meant for generating heat.
Low thyroid hormone levels may prevent brown fat from generating heat.

So if you often struggle with cold temperatures, you might be struggling with iodine deficiency.

3. Irregular Or Heavy Menstruation

Positive thinking can already be hard at the best of times – and it only gets more problematic with uncooperative menstrual cycles. If this is you, know that this may signify iodine deficiency. The reasons for this are:

Thyroid hormones regulate the female sexual organs and their associated hormones.
Research shows us that a vast majority of patients with low thyroid levels would suffer irregular menstrual cycles, compared to a minority of healthy patients.
Low thyroid hormone levels can disrupt hormone signals crucial for regulating a menstrual cycle.
A different study showed that inversely, patients with low thyroid levels often had more frequent menstrual cycles with heavy bleeding.

Fortunately, this issue can be resolved simply by consuming iodine in appropriate amounts.

4. Weakness and Fatigue

Are you constantly feeling tired and weak? Do you feel you do not have enough energy to maintain any sense of positive thinking? Iodine deficiency may be the cause of it.

Multiple studies indicated that fatigue and exhaustion are some of the most common symptoms of low thyroid levels, with nearly 80% of the study’s participants showcasing it as part of their iodine deficiency. This is because thyroid hormones are:

Associated with metabolism rates, which is the conversion of calories into usable energy
Is required to make energy
Responsible for other necessary bodily functions to keep it running smoothly

So when you have an iodine deficiency – and by extension, low thyroid hormone levels – this results in the following symptoms:

The body unable to produce as much energy as it should
A subsequent plummet in energy levels
Feelings of weakness

This sort of exhaustion and fatigue should be reversible with increased consumption of iodine. This is because the thyroid gland will once again have enough iodine to function properly, and thus can do its job as intended – giving you more energy.

5. Neck Swelling

The thyroid gland is a small, butterfly-shaped organ in front of your neck. When you suffer from iodine deficiency, you may find that the front of your neck will swell up in response. According to research, this is because:

The thyroid is meant to produce thyroid hormones in response to the presence of the thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH) in your blood
your body needs iodine for the production of thyroid hormones
A lack of iodine in the body means that the thyroid is incapable of making thyroid hormones in response to TSH
The thyroid will overwork in an attempt to create the appropriate amount of thyroid hormones, as dictated by TSH levels in your blood

When overworked, the cells in the thyroid will grow and multiply, causing swelling

Left untreated, the thyroid gland may grow too big, resulting in a goiter. Thankfully, most cases of goiter can be treated with sufficient iodine intake.

6. Decreased Concentration and Productivity

It’s no secret that concentrating and being productive requires a significant amount of energy. Due to how thyroid hormones are necessary for energy production, you might struggle with mental functions and work productivity.

Therefore, if you can’t figure out what’s impairing your productivity and mental focus, the answer may be an iodine deficiency.

7. Heart Rate Changes

Thyroid hormones are responsible for many things – including your heart rate. Research tells us that low iodine levels often result in slow heart rates, and inversely too much iodine causes fast heart rates.

This outcome means that if you are suffering from an iodine deficiency, you might find yourself:

Suffering from a slow heart rate
Struggling with low blood pressure
Feeling weak and fatigued.
Feeling lightheaded and dizzy often.
Prone to fainting from low blood pressure

As such, consider consulting a doctor to test your iodine levels if you suffer from slow heart rates and low blood pressure. You may just be suffering from an iodine deficiency.

8. Dry Skin

Dealing with skin that keeps flaking no matter how religiously you moisturize it? It may be a symptom of iodine deficiency. Research confirms that up to 77% of patients with low thyroid levels suffered from dry, flaky skin as one of their many symptoms.

This aggravating condition is likely because of thyroid hormones:

Help with skin regeneration.
Help with sweat regulation.
Helps with regulating skin moisture levels

As a result, the lack of thyroid hormones results in the skin being:

Unable to regenerate skin cells from a lower level
Dry and dehydrated due to a lack of moisturization
Unable to sweat properly

9. Lumps On The Throat, Especially With Choking

Sometimes, the swelling of your neck isn’t that obvious. Instead, you might find that you are just struggling with things like:

Breathing
Swallowing
The sensation of choking when lying down
Pressure on the front of the neck, at the base

If you notice a slight enlargement of your neck in conjunction with these symptoms, you may be suffering from an iodine deficiency. In such cases, try checking with a doctor to be sure.

10. Sudden Weight Gain

Have you been dealing with rapid and sudden weight gain out of nowhere? It may be a symptom of iodine deficiency. Research shows that thyroid hormones are a crucial and necessary component in regulating your metabolism rate.

In other words, this means that:

Iodine deficiency results from low thyroid hormone levels
Low thyroid levels mean slower metabolism rates
Slower metabolism rates result in fewer calories burned at rest
Fewer burned calories inversely means an increase in stored fat

Thankfully, the effects of a slow metabolism rate may be reversed by adding iodine into one’s diet. This allows the body to make more thyroid hormones and return metabolism rates to normal.

11. Pregnancy Complications

It is important to note that anyone pregnant is also often at a high risk of iodine deficiency. This result is because their daily iodine needs have increased.

Research shows that during pregnancy, you will have to consume enough iodine for not just yourself, but also your growing child as well – which you pass to them through your breastmilk. This increased iodine consumption must continue throughout your pregnancy and until you are done lactating. Failure to do so may cause:

Goiter in the mother
Weakness and fatigue in the mother
An inability to regulate the mother’s temperature and stay warm
Stunted physical growth in the growing infant
Impaired brain development in the growing infant
Increased risk of stillbirth

Having your iodine levels tested by your doctor regularly is an excellent idea. If they are low, you can consume some iodized salt, which should benefit both you and your growing baby.

12. Decreased Memory and Learning Capability

Your struggles with learning and memory may not entirely be your fault. Studies indicate that adults with low thyroid levels often resulted in poorer performance on learning and memory tests, and inversely adults with higher thyroid levels performed much better on the same tests.

According to research, the reason for such performance discrepancies is because:

Thyroid hormones are necessary for proper brain growth.
Low thyroid hormones can negatively affect brain development.
Low thyroid hormones may result in smaller hippocampi

Final Thoughts On Some Early Signs Of Iodine Deficiency Most People Ignore

Iodine deficiency can result in severe long-term problems if not treated. If you notice symptoms of iodine deficiency, speak to your doctor as soon as possible. You can also attempt to take supplements or increase your intake of foods that contain this essential nutrient, like iodized salt and seafood. Either way, make sure you keep your eyes open for the early signs of iodine deficiency!

7 Symptoms of Diverticulitis (And Natural Remedies To Help Fix It)

September 2, 2020 by Deborah Tayloe

Diverticulitis is a condition that causes inflammation of the digestive tract, and the symptoms of diverticulitis are painful and uncomfortable. Small pouches may form on the large intestine that becomes infected or inflamed, ultimately leading to this condition.

Diverticulitis is a type of colitis, which is an inflammatory bowel disease. If it isn’t treated or eased, it can lead to serious complications that may require surgery.

As mentioned before, the symptoms of diverticulitis are painful. They are easy to identify if you know what you are looking for. Although you may already suspect this is what you are suffering from, you should always get a professional diagnosis.

Once you know the symptoms, knowing how to beat it is important. Learning to alleviate the symptoms is essential if you suffer from this condition. It’s also worth noting that self-diagnosis can be tricky, so you should see your primary care physician for an appropriate diagnosis.

The Seven Primary Symptoms of Diverticulitis

Constant pain for several days – most often in the lower left side of the abdomen, but sometimes it is more painful on the right side.
Nausea and vomiting
Fever
Tenderness of the abdomen
Constipation
Cramping that goes away after you have a bowel movement or pass gas
Bright red blood in your stool

Diverticulitis Risk Factors

Below are a few factors that increase the odds of developing this condition:

Aging, those over the age of 40 are most at risk
Obesity
Smoking
Sedentary lifestyle
A diet high or low in fiber
Use of medications such as steroids, opioids, ibuprofen, or naproxen sodium

Natural Remedies to Ease the Symptoms of Diverticulitis

Want to know how you can deal with diverticulitis? You might consider these useful home remedies.

1 – Liquid Diet

When symptoms flare up, it was recommended that you take on a liquid diet. This doesn’t mean you can only drink water, luckily. Some of your liquid diet food and drink options include:

water
coffee
tea
fruit juice with no pulp
soft drinks
sports drinks
chicken or beef broth
popsicles with no fruit pieces
gelatin without added fruit pieces

Once you have been on a liquid diet, it’s important to ease back into solid foods gradually. If you don’t do it gradually, it’ll cause the symptoms to flare up again.

2 – Follow Fiber Intake Guidelines

It’s essential to have a healthy amount of this nutrient in your diet. Consuming too much or not enough can cause symptom flare-ups or worsening symptoms. There is a very fine line that you have to be careful not to cross.

According to the Institute of Medicine, a person should consume between 19 and 28 grams daily. The exact amount will depend on your age and gender. On average, it is 15 grams for every 1,000 calories consumed.

If your intake is too high, you must adopt a diet with less of this nutrient. Some of the foods you can choose that are low in fiber include:

fruits without seeds or skin
cooked vegetables without seeds or skin
eggs
dairy products
white bread, pasta, or rice
specialty cereal
cooked red meat

Remember, even if you are trying to reduce your fiber intake, you still need a healthy amount of this nutrient. Without enough, you could become constipated, which causes bulging in the intestine. This could increase the chances that an inflamed pouch will form.

So, if you need to consume more than you currently do, you’ll need to find foods that contain more. Some of the most common high-fiber foods include the following options:

vegetables with the skin
fruits with the skin
grains
high-fiber cereal
beans
lentils
almonds
popcorn

3 – Increase Your Vitamin D Intake

Research published by the National Institutes of Health shows that higher Vitamin D levels can help with symptoms of diverticulitis. Those who do not consume enough Vitamin D will find their symptoms are worse. It is recommended that adults consume around 15 micrograms per day, and many people fall short of the goal.

You can increase your vitamin D levels through sun exposure, but use sunscreen with SPF. Or, you can increase your daily intake of vitamin D by eating the following foods:

fatty fish
eggs
cheese
Vitamin D-fortified foods such as cereal, milk, margarine, or orange juice

4 – Use a Heating Pad

When the symptoms of diverticulitis become painful, you can apply a heating pad to help. If you don’t have a heating pad, you can use a hot water bottle instead.

Ensure you use a low setting on an electric heat pad to prevent burns. If you are using a hot water bottle, place a towel around it.

5 – Exercise More

A couple of reasons are that more exercise can help remedy the painful symptoms. The first reason is that exercise causes the body to release endorphins, which are natural pain relievers.

Another reason is that exercise has anti-inflammatory effects, which was proven in a 2019 study. You should get at least two and a half hours of exercise each week to be effective.

Exercise doesn’t have to be terrible. You can choose many fun activities to help you reach your exercise goals. These include:

walking
water aerobics
swimming
dancing
gardening or another form of yard work
playing tennis
riding a bike

6 – Drink Water

As stated before, having a healthy intake of fiber is essential when it comes to this condition. Water is just as important because it works with the essential nutrient.

With fiber and water, your stool will become soft and bulky, making it easier to pass through your colon. If you don’t drink enough water, the nutrient can cause you to become constipated instead of working in your favor.

7 – Lose Weight

Being obese can increase your chances of developing diverticulitis. Plus, being overweight can make symptoms worse.

Those who are obese have more adipose tissue, which releases cytokines, causing inflammation. Obese people also tend to have intestinal microflora, which plays a role in developing this condition.

8 – Avoid Foods that Make it Worse

Those suffering from diverticulitis often have certain foods that worsen their symptoms. Some of the foods that harm one person may not affect another. So, please keep track of what you’ve eaten to help narrow it down when a flare-up occurs.

While the foods that cause flare-ups differ for everyone, certain foods are often the culprits. These foods include:

certain fruits, including apples, pears, and plums
dairy
fermented foods, including sauerkraut and kimchi
beans
cabbage
brussels sprouts
onions
garlic

9 – Use Probiotics

Offering good bacteria, probiotics help keep your digestive tract healthy. You can get probiotics in capsule form, tablet, or powder form. Probiotics are also found in yogurt, so yogurt is a good option if dairy products don’t negatively affect you.

10 – Drink Aloe Vera Juice

Aloe vera can help prevent constipation. It also can relieve pain and ease cramping, both of which are symptoms of diverticulitis. Just two ounces a day can help you beat the condition.

11 – Consume Green Tea

Since green tea has an anti-inflammatory property, it can help relieve the symptoms. It also has antiviral and antibacterial properties, which can further lessen inflammation. The antiviral and antibacterial properties also lessen your risk of infection.

12 – Essential Oils

Lavender oil offers pain relief when applied topically, and diluted with a carrier oil. When diffused or put into bath water, it helps with relaxation and reduces pain. Relaxation may ease your symptoms, and the pain relief will help you feel better.

13 – Acupuncture

This practice is known to relieve pain and reduce symptoms of many conditions. Diverticulitis is one of the conditions it can help with.

An acupuncturist will assess you to determine any excesses or deficiencies of qi or energy in your body. Once the individualized assessment is done, they’ll put thin needles through your skin at specific points. This can help promote gastrointestinal health, which eases symptoms of this condition and prevents flare-ups.

14 – Supplement with Barley Grass

Barley is full of nutrition and can help treat inflammation and digestive problems. It is full of other nutrients, as well, making it a good overall option. Barley grass helps detoxify your body, contributes to internal cleaning, and aids tissue repair.

While treating inflammation and soothing digestive problems, it also strengthens the walls of your stomach. Additionally, barley grass can relieve constipation and improve colon health.

All of these benefits of barley grass contribute to preventing and treating diverticulitis. You can take a barley grass supplement in either a pill or powder form.

Final Thoughts on Symptoms of Diverticulitis (and Natural Remedies to Beat It)

While the symptoms of diverticulitis can be painful and uncomfortable, you can remedy it naturally. Through healthy eating, you can help the issue long-term. For more immediate relief, there are many options you can try.

These remedies can help you manage your condition and be more comfortable during flare-ups. Find the remedies that work best for you. Remember that everyone is different and responds uniquely to different remedies.

The most important aspects to focus on include healthy eating, regular exercise, and exposure to sunlight. Each can help ease the symptoms of diverticulitis, but you should still seek medical attention if complications occur.

6 Red Flags That Reveal Post Narcissistic Stress Disorder (PNSD)

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Though less recognizable than physical abuse, emotional abuse can be significantly damaging to individuals who experience it. Emotional abuse can leave lasting psychological and mental health scars that need healing just as physical abuse does. One form of emotional abuse comes from those with a narcissistic personality disorder. Those who suffer from these abuse experience problems, such as post narcissistic stress disorder (PNSD).

Post narcissistic stress disorder is a specific form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This disorder derives specifically from emotional, mental, and psychological abuse that takes place over a period. Many mental health professionals consider it more complicated than other forms of PTSD.

It is difficult to identify and can be challenging to heal from. However, once someone knows the red flags, it is easier to address the root cause of the symptoms. Thus, people can begin to heal from the emotional abuse.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

A narcissistic personality disorder is a rare personality disorder characterized by an individual’s inflated sense of self-importance and the behaviors that derive from that. As a result of the individual’s perception of self, the narcissist is likely to have difficulty with healthy relationships and have a deep need for excessive admiration and attention. Some symptoms of this disorder include:

Exaggerated perception of self-importance
An exaggerated sense of entitlement
Excessive need for admiration and attention
Belief about own superiority
The expectation of behaviors from others that adhere to an inflated sense of self
The belief that others envy them
Envy of others, hidden or disguised to appear superior.
Behave in a proud, vain, or arrogant manner due to inflated sense of self
Be unable or unwilling to recognize and act on the feelings and needs of others.
Presenting self with superficial symbols of success, such as the best technology, cars, etc., to align with the sense of entitlement and inflated ego

While this personality disorder does not mean that a person will be emotionally abusive, many narcissists can be prone to treating others poorly because of the way they perceive themselves and their relationships with others. The abuse that comes from narcissists is often different, including more covert than what occurs in other relationships.

Here are fourteen behaviors a strong woman will never tolerate from her partner.

What is narcissist abuse?

While not all narcissists are mentally or emotionally abusive, many are. This is due in large part to the way they view themselves and others. Since those with this personality disorder are unable or unwilling to recognize the feelings and needs of others, their behaviors put themselves first.

As a result, they often manipulate others to get what they want, including making them feel bad if they do not comply. Some narcissists can be more overt in their emotional abuse, using name-calling and other tactics.

However, most narcissists are more covert. Since narcissists use manipulation tactics to get what they want, it can be hard for victims to recognize the behaviors as abusive until they are out of the situation or have loved ones who help them identify the negative reactions.

Besides, this type of emotional abuse can be particularly insidious because those with a narcissistic personality disorder can behave like chameleons, adapting their behavior based on the people they interact with.

As a result, they may be utterly charming with certain people and emotionally toxic to others. This changing behavior means that people may not believe the survivor of narcissistic abuse when they try to reach out for support and help.

Six Signs of Post Narcissistic Stress Disorder

Recognizing signs of PNSD can make a big difference in helping identify the effects of emotional pain and abuse from a narcissistic personality can be an excellent place to start in healing. It is important to remember that PNSD manifests differently for each person.

Survivors exhibit signs that depend heavily on the emotional abuses sustained, the individual’s personality, and many other factors. However, there are red flags that are common among most people.

Understanding these red flags, and their potential long-term effects can help people begin to recover from abuse from a narcissist.

1. High, continued anxiety

Those who experience emotional pain and abuse due to a narcissist typically experience high levels of continuous anxiety. Emotional abuse often leaves the survivor feeling off-balance because of the way the abuser manipulates situations to achieve their ends.

They worry about the abuser’s reaction, doing or saying the wrong thing, and attempting to keep the peace. This hyper-vigilant state can lead to chronic anxiety, even after the narcissist is no longer abusing the individual.

Individuals can even develop anxiety disorders due to PNSD, such as social anxiety disorder or specific phobias.

2. Avoidance behavior

Avoidance behaviors also often arise when a narcissist emotionally abuses an individual. Specifically, those with PNSD avoid actions that cause anxiety or remind them of the experiences they had with narcissists in the past.

In severe cases, avoidance behaviors can lead to struggles with daily living, such as being unable to leave the house. It may also lead to an individual not setting healthy boundaries to avoid negative experiences, which can result in further emotional pain and abuse.

For many, the more certain experiences are avoided, the harder it is to return to regular daily routines. As a result, what begins as a way to cope with negative emotions can become a severe problem.

3. Overwhelming feelings of shame or guilt

Since narcissists often manipulate and use people to get what they want, those with post narcissistic stress disorder experience feelings of shame and guilt. The reasons behind these feelings vary based on what individuals have gone through.

Some feel guilt and shame because of the way their abusers treat them and speak to them. Others feel this way because they allowed themselves to be treated that way without realizing the damaging effects until much later.

The longer an individual is in a relationship with a narcissist, the worse these feelings of guilt or shame can become. These feelings can also lead to symptoms of depression and a sense of being a failure.

4. Inaccurate perceptions of self, past, and relationships

One of the ways a narcissist manipulates victims is through a method called gaslighting, which is a way of causing someone to doubt their perceptions of events and their memories. This is a way for the narcissist to maintain control over their victim.

After going through this, particularly over a long period of time, someone with post narcissistic stress disorder will likely doubt themselves frequently, including in other relationships.

This can make it difficult for survivors to overcome their insecurities; they may need frequent reassurances from loved ones that they remember things correctly or that their perceptions of events are accurate.

5. Avoidance of intimate relationships

Post narcissist stress disorder often occurs in intimate relationships, such as spouses or parent-child relationships. This can significantly impact an individual’s ability to engage in successful, healthy intimate relationships.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse are afraid that they will be treated the same as they were in their toxic relationship. As a result, they may be more closed off emotionally. Plus, they find it difficult to be happy in a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships and support systems are essential for recovery from PNSD. Therefore, further abusive behavior slows down the healing process.

6. Nightmares, flashbacks, and reliving past experiences

Post narcissistic stress disorder is similar to PTSD. And some common signs of PTSD are nightmares, flashbacks, and reliving past experiences. Survivors of narcissistic abuse may be triggered by conversations, events, sounds, or any number of things, even a smell that is familiar.

The triggers for these flashbacks or nightmares vary based on the individual and what they went through the abusive narcissist. These flashbacks can lead to panic attacks, avoidance behaviors, and other symptoms of PNSD.

It is very difficult to control these symptoms except through a treatment program that addresses the causes of the symptoms, such as therapy.

Final Thoughts on Managing Post Narcissistic Stress Disorder

Narcissist abuse can be insidious and painful for anyone who experiences it. Over even a short period of time, emotional abuse can lead to serious emotional and mental problems. Indeed, one such result is post narcissistic stress disorder.

The signs of this disorder, which primarily focus on how the survivor adapts based on their interactions with the narcissist, vary based on the individual, with common signs that occur for most people.

Most often, individuals who experience narcissistic abuse experience multiple signs that point to post narcissistic stress disorder. However, if you are unaware of narcissistic abuse or PNSD, it can be hard to recognize the danger of your negative situation.

Indeed, you might not even recognize the help needed to get out of it. But by recognizing these red flags of PNSD, you can start to see your situation as it is. From there, you can seek help and begin to heal from the emotional abuse.

15 Organization Habits to Help All Working Moms on Busy Mornings

September 2, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Working moms juggle two crucial roles as full-time workers at home and on the job. Staying organized is essential for your sanity, especially in the mornings when you’re trying to get yourself and the kids out the door.

The challenges that a working mom faces are well-known and backed up by studies. Researchers point out that working moms juggle career, children, aging parents, and keeping every family member on track. The result can be a chaotic, stressful life.

Thus, working moms should try to develop good habits to offset the morningtime rush. Many organizational strategies work, some work better for you than others. See if any of these 15 organization tips could help you with your busy mornings.

15 Useful Tips to Help Working Moms Get Out the Door Faster

Rise and shine–before the kids do

Set your alarm to awaken you at least 30 minutes before your kids get up, even earlier if you prefer a little more peace and quiet. Use your time alone to drink a cup of coffee, shower, and dress. You’ll feel calmer and mentally prepared for your day once you’re dressed and ready to step out the door.

Wake the kids up around the same time every day

Your older kids should be responsible enough to get up on their own. Have them set the alarm to ensure they wake up. If they don’t get up, have a plan to wake them. One parent tells us that she went into her teenage son’s room and blew a whistle loudly on the days he wouldn’t get up. He quickly learned to set his alarm to avoid his mom’s wake up technique. It was too annoying, he said.

Give your kids a morning routine

Research supports the claim that children need a set routine.

Once your children are old enough, around four years old, teach them to navigate their morning routine. Show the younger children how to make their beds, brush their teeth, and get dressed. Have their clothes laid out in a spot of their choosing so they can easily dress without asking you for help.

Let the kiddos practice over the weeks and encourage their attempts, even if they aren’t perfect. Young kids love the independence and usually rise to the occasion. Of course, your kids will get distracted, but a simple reminder will help them get on track.

Teach your kids simple breakfast prep

Provide easy to make breakfasts that your kids can make on their own. Toaster waffles, cereal, yogurt, or bagels are easy for kids to navigate. You can make smoothies the night ahead and serve those to your kids for breakfast, too.

Make lunches the night before

If your kids take their lunch, prepare them the night before. There are great lunch boxes now with easy to clean compartments. Fill their lunches with fruit, veggies, and other yummy foods. Buy easy to send foods like carrots, celery, granola bars, and hummus packets.

Have your kids help you pack up their lunches so they can choose what they want to eat. It’s a great time to chat about what’s going on at school. Lunchtime at school is sometimes hard for kids because the cafeteria is crowded, and there aren’t many teachers around to supervise the conversations. So, find out what kids are saying and how your child is processing all the talks.

Layout kids clothes and your clothes the night before

Every night before bed, have your younger kids help you choose what they want to wear the next day. It’s usually more manageable for the boys to pick out their clothes than the girls, so if you need to negotiate what they’re wearing, it’s better in the evening than the morning of school. Your older kids should lay out their own clothing. You can go check to see if they look okay. Some older kids resent this, but it’s a great habit for them to establish. Make it a house rule. Every house has rules, so tell them it’s just an easy house rule to follow.

Ensure that homework gets done the night before

What parent hasn’t woke up to find out that their sixth-grader is frantic about an undone project due that day? It is typical for kids to forget their homework assignments. Hang baskets near your front door for homework assignments to be kept so you can get a quick glance at them before they go into your kids’ backpack.

If you see something left undone, you can show your child and have them finish it. Or if there’s not enough time, have your child contact their teacher on their own to tell them they didn’t do the assignment. Teaching your child to bear the weight of responsibility and to fix it is helpful. Teachers are usually happy to cut kids some slack when they’re honest about their mistakes.

Schedule interruptions (all busy moms know these things are inevitable)

Life happens even to the most organized schedule. Things like lost shoes, kids arguing, and lost car keys happen. One mom shared how she was all dressed for work, nursing the baby just before stepping out the front door when her three-year-old daughter walked into the room and threw up all over her.

Plan for the unexpected.

Make sure your boss knows you have small kids. Hopefully, they’ll be sympathetic and understand that unplanned things happen. Pad your time schedule to allow for little interruptions in your mornings.

Get help

It’s okay to need help. Not a soul will think anything less of you, and if they do, it’s their problem. Find an early morning nanny who can help your kids on the bus in the morning and off the bus in the afternoons. Once your kids are older, they’ll be able to do this on their own, but while your kids are young, it’s good to have the help.

Hire house cleaners when your kids are little. This way, you can concentrate more on your family and less on housework. Order fresh meals delivered to your home that you need to prepare. Again, some of these things will work for a season, when you’re especially busy with little kids. You can re-evaluate after six months or a year to see if you still need this help.

Get your partner’s help.

Ask your partner to do the morning shift once in a while. Taking turns helps both of you understand what mornings are like. It can also be helpful if there need to be changes made. One partner may come up with a creative solution the other partner hadn’t thought of. When you divide and conquer the mornings with your partner, you’ll feel less stressed and able to get out the door calmly.

Try to keep work at the office.

If possible, try not to do office work in the mornings. If you need to do some work, get up earlier, so you’re finished by the time the kids wake up. In the mornings, give your kids your full attention, so they feel like their mom is aware of their needs for the day. It’s tough on a kid to go to school all day and feel like their mom hardly noticed them. Tell your co-workers you aren’t taking calls till after a specific time. Don’t look at your emails until you’re at the office. You’ll be surprised how “pressing issues” aren’t as pressing as they are presented to be.

Tell your kids you love them.

Kids have stuff going on at school. They need their parent’s support and love. Every day, be sure to tell your kids how much you love them and how proud you are of them. Make sure they leave for school with a sense of confidence in who they are and knowing how much they are loved and also supported. If you’re traveling, of course, you can easily text your kids or give them a phone call before they leave for school. Youmay never know the impact you are making on your kids’ life by a simple statement. Later on, when they’re older, they’ll tell you how much it meant as they faced their daily challenges.

Keep a sense of humor.

Kids are kids. They cry, whine, complain, and stomp their feet. Don’t sweat the small stuff like mismatched socks or smug teenager looks. These are things you should overlook as not that important. Most of the things you’re obsessing over will all be different in five years. So relax, and don’t let the small issues get you down. Plus, your example of how to navigate stress is an essential lesson for your kids as they face their own challenges.

Keep a schedule in your kitchen.

Wall calendars seem so 90s, but a paper calendar is helpful to keep your family updated on the weekly events. Hang a large paper calendar in your kitchen marked with sporting practices, games, and family outings. Your kids will always know what’s going on. In the corner of the calendar list, the family dinners for the week. This way, when the kids ask you what’s for dinner, you can point them to the calendar. Plus, having a dinner schedule will help you with grocery shopping and meal planning.

Plan a routine that includes playtime

Routines bring peace, but they’re so easy to break. Who doesn’t want to sleep in when you’ve been up all night several times with the baby? But the more you can keep your routine, the better for you and your family. Kids thrive on routine. It’s actually good for kids who get stressed out quickly. So, if you strive to make it work, your kids will too. Motivative your kids by having family meetings once every couple weeks to praise them for their efforts in the mornings and how well they’re doing at keeping the routine.

Plan fun family weekend movies and outdoor activities to offset the weekly schedule. Make weekends sleep in-days, so your kids will learn what a day off means. It’s easy to be too work-focused. Teach your kids the value of resting and play so they can be well-rounded people.

Final Thoughts on Trying These Organization Habits for Busy Working Moms

Busy days with a family need good organizational habits to make it through. Try to incorporate some of these easy tips to see if they work for your family. Add others as required. You might need to tweak some of them to make them work well for you, but try to keep a predictable routine. Kids thrive with routine, and they’ll enjoy the weekends more when they’ve worked hard all week to get up and off to your daily destinations on time.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Your family.

Friends

Life in general

Nature

Love

Your job

Yourself

Where you live

The ability to learn new things

Your health

Your time

Your energy

Rise and shine–before the kids do

Wake the kids up around the same time every day

Give your kids a morning routine

Teach your kids simple breakfast prep

Make lunches the night before

Layout kids clothes and your clothes the night before

Ensure that homework gets done the night before

Schedule interruptions (all busy moms know these things are inevitable)

Get help

Get your partner’s help.

Try to keep work at the office.

Tell your kids you love them.

Keep a sense of humor.

Keep a schedule in your kitchen.

Plan a routine that includes playtime

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!