Being in love is a big challenge. You want to give yourself entirely to the other person, including your desire, trust, and loyalty. However, you also want to maintain healthy boundaries. Each time that you run across a behavior in your partner that bothers you, you have an opportunity to communicate about it, ignore it, or end the relationship because it is so disturbing. In this post, we encourage strong women to be more assertive, especially by not tolerating behaviors in their partners that are simply unacceptable.
Never tolerate these actions, regardless of whether such treatment is coming from a man or a woman.
14 Behaviors That Are Deal Breakers for Strong Women
1 – Constant negativity.
When you allow yourself to be the recipient of ongoing negative comments, including shaming, blaming, and putdowns, you can expect there to be an immediate effect on your self-esteem. One strategy that strong women take is to experiment. Write down the positive things and negative things that your partner says during one conversation. If you see a pattern of negative narratives towards you outweighing the positive remarks towards you, this could be a red flag.
2 – Fear.
If you’re made to fear a particular thing will happen if you speak out, then this kind of behavior isn’t acceptable. Living in fear could be real or imagined, but allowing that anxiety to control you definitely affects your mindset. You deserve to be able to wake up each morning and feel positive about the day. If fear is causing anxiety, you may often feel anxious and have trouble keeping up with work and home obligations. You may also begin to doubt your own ability to form relationships.
3 – Narcissism
This kind of personality disorder derives pleasure from making you feel not so great about yourself, especially by being extremely attentive and then withdrawing that attention at his or her will. Then, you are left feeling worse about yourself than you did before you met that person because you are no longer receiving that high level of positive treatment. Giving and withdrawing attention for no reason is its form of passive-aggressive abuse.
4 – Emotional abuse
.Remember, many types of physical and emotional abuse can make you feel bad about yourself. If you are repeatedly exposed to this type of trauma, you could be experiencing the ongoing feelings of anxiety. Your body will frequently feel stressed out with headaches, rapid heart rate, difficulty breathing, and exhaustion due to the lack of sleep. If you are very sensitive, abuse can exert an even more significant effect on your mind and body. Don’t let an abuser keep doing this to you because it will be challenging to maintain a healthy mental balance.
5 – Persistent lack of affection
Everyone needs to feel that they are safe and “belong” to their family members and friends. This is under Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you don’t get enough affection and have communicated with your partner often about it, then this relationship may not be right for you.
6 – Domestic violence.
This term refers to “abusive behaviors including a wide range of physical, sexual, and psychological maltreatment used by one person in an intimate relationship against another to gain power unfairly or maintain that person’s misuse of power, control, and authority.” This type of violence coming from someone in your home may cause psychological harm, mal-development, injury, or death.
You could have a partner who claims to love you but believes that it’s okay to physically express anger at you or mistreat you in other similar ways for no apparent reason. You have to recognize your worth as a person and stop allowing abuse. This may require you to remove yourself physically from exposure to domestic violence.
7 – Abandonment
.This can be physical, emotional, or both. When someone breaks off contact, moves away, or lives with you but stops spending time communicating with you, then you can easily feel abandoned. There could also be a lack of attention to your needs, which makes you question whether you did something wrong to deserve such treatment. This happens to children and adults who have formed strong bonds with family members, and then they suddenly change. Often, the behavior results from the person’s own inner struggles, which have nothing to do with you, but it’s hard to see that when you’re tangled up in an emotional nightmare.
8 – Crime.
You could be in a loving relationship, and suddenly, your partner changes. You could either become aware of how this criminal activity is actually reminiscent of past offenses or that this behavior is new. There is a shock that comes with watching your partner get arrested and then having to get him or her out of jail and be supportive throughout the legal proceedings. This could even result in a partner losing work, which forces you to work harder to support the household. While you might be able to survive one episode of criminal activity, a pattern of this behavior could be more than you can handle. Decide whether a partner who’s up to criminal activities should continue living in your home. You have a right to end a relationship if it places you and your other family members at risk.
9 – Drug abuse.
Strong women want to maintain their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. If they discover that their partners are abusing drugs, then it’s hard to continue in a healthy relationship. While you could take care of yourself and try to ignore the effects of substance abuse, they are hard to escape. You could help your partner find outside help with substance abuse, but this will only work if he or she truly wants to change.
10 – Control.
There are many ways that strong women take control of their lives. This starts by eliminating undue control that their partners exert over them. If you feel that your partner talks down to you, limits your contact with other people, restricts your transportation or work opportunities, or takes you to places that you don’t like (i.e., religious or political activities), then you should definitely question why you’re staying in this relationship.
11 – Financial infidelity.
This includes arguing about money, controlling money, or hiding money that is meant for the two partners to share. If you don’t feel you can trust how your partner spends money, then you can move your money to a separate account and manage that in your own way. Some couples find that their entire relationship works better if they pay their bills out of their separate accounts. This strategy works until one partner stops paying his or her share of the household bills. You should have regular discussions about spending with your partner, so you can agree on how to meet expenses and save for your priorities.
This person is always busy outside of the home, but he or she used to be home enjoying meals and down-time with you often. You are constantly given explanations by your partner of where he or she is after work and in the evenings. You don’t want to believe that your partner has been sneaky. However, checking up a few times on his or her excuses reveals a pattern of deception. You miss spending time with your partner, but you don’t know how to arrange togetherness time. If you mention these scheduling problems over and over, but nothing changes, ask yourself what you’re getting out of the relationship. There must be some mutual benefits between partners, or it’s really a waste of time.
13 – Lack of economic support.
You may have entered the relationship and decided to cohabitate under a shared monetary arrangement. Then, if you stop receiving support, it could feel like a betrayal. It’s not really about the money. It’s about what the lack of support means. The exception is if you are already independently wealthy and don’t mind this sudden lack of assistance. Another possibility is that the support was recently withdrawn because you somehow failed to comply with an unreasonable request. Strong women don’t let their partners dictate how they live. They seek out people who treat them as equals and maintain mutual respect.
14 – Infidelity.
We live in an age where people have many types of relationships that now permit or even support having sexual intercourse with other partners. Strong women define what they want in a relationship and attract a mate based on that definition. However, if you are in a monogamous relationship and your partner is suddenly cheating on you, then ask yourself whether this behavior is acceptable. You are capable of being alone, and you are also capable of forming romantic attachments to other partners. If your partner can’t be faithful, it could be time to move on.
Before you go any further in accepting these types of behaviors and others that don’t “feel” right when you reflect on them, remember that you are a strong woman. You deserve a partner who has your best interests at heart. Just remember the values and behaviors that matter to you. Finally, only stay with a partner who can consistently meet your expectations over time.