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Psychology Explains the Difference Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Motivation drives us to get out of bed every day to accomplish something important to us. These goals might involve work, school, or training for a marathon. We all have different reasons for choosing specific goals. And we are each driven by both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Below, we’ll break down the various definitions for you.

Intrinsic motivation – This mindset involves doing something because you get a personal reward out of it. Think of it as enjoyment or eagerness to learn a new skill.
Extrinsic motivation – doing something because of an external reward. Consider scenarios such as a raise at work or losing weight from exercising. You may also be extrinsically motivated to avoid punishment, such as losing your job or gaining weight from not exercising.

You can sum these up by saying that intrinsic motivation arises from within, while extrinsic motivation comes from influences outside oneself. By looking at these definitions, you might think that intrinsic motivation matters most. However, both of them have their importance in shaping our society. For example, if you only did what brought you happiness and joy, you wouldn’t have the drive to accomplish tasks at work which involve other people.

For example, you wouldn’t care about pleasing your boss or coworkers. That’s because you’d only pay attention to your desires.

So, we’ll delve a little further into the psychology behind motivation and the significant differences between both types of it.

The Differences Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Now that you know where each type of motivation comes from, let’s get into some more examples of both:

Intrinsic:

getting involves in sports or other hobbies that you enjoy
cleaning up your room because you like keeping it organized
studying a subject like astrophysics simply because you want to learn new things
exercising because it makes you feel better.

Extrinsic:

finishing your work because you don’t want to get fired,
taking on the extra workload at your job because you want a promotion
cleaning your room because you have guests coming over
studying a subject because you need to pass a test at school.

As you can see, we need both types of motivation in our society to keep it functioning correctly. If everyone only did things to please others or avoid punishment, we would lose what makes us human and act more like robots. However, if we only did whatever we wanted all the time, we couldn’t maintain the products and services that keep our society running. So, we should strive to maintain a reasonable balance between what makes us personally happy and what we need to accomplish for societal obligations.

How Each Type of Motivation Influences Behavior

Some studies have shown that offering too many rewards for a behavior that already gives intrinsic satisfaction can decrease internal motivation, otherwise known as the overjustification effect. For example, in this study involving 20-month olds, researchers found that their altruistic tendencies decreased when they were given too many external rewards, such as praise or toys. Another study found a similar outcome in those with intellectual and developmental disabilities, discovering that their intrinsic motivation decreased as external rewards increased.

Why does this phenomenon happen? According to the American Psychological Association, people tend to focus more on external rewards than internal satisfaction, despite their natural desire to do what makes them happy. Another factor influencing this behavior involves punishment or bribery. If people feel like they must do something out of fear or coercion, they will focus more on extrinsic motivation since they believe they have something to lose.

The studies:

Research also shows that if people get external reinforcement for doing a good job, the overjustification effect won’t have as much influence on them. For example, if you do well on a test because you studied for it, this won’t cause your internal motivation to decrease. Since your performance on the test depends on how hard you studied, getting a good grade drives your studying behavior. In the cases listed above with the children, the external motivation didn’t depend on their performance, so they lost their desire to keep up the behavior.

Another study found that parents should use moderation in giving their children praise. Children who receive praise for their efforts in completing a task rather than for their inherent talents or personality traits believe that success depends on how hard they work, not how smart they are. Children who develop this mindset also tend to persist in the face of struggles. That’s because they know that hard work will carry them through tough times. If children just believe that intelligence matters, they won’t have the external motivation to keep going in the face of adversity.

This makes sense because every parent wants to believe their child possesses some unique or otherworldly personality trait or intellect, which will get them ahead in the world. However, the research consistently shows that children have more success when their parents raise them to work harder for whatever they want to achieve in life. If parents reward their children too often for good behaviors, this enforces the idea that they will not have to put in very much effort to obtain rewards.

When to Use Each Type of Motivation

This applies mostly to employers or parents who have to motivate others to accomplish tasks. Extrinsic motivation can come in handy in the following types of situations:

External rewards can help others become interested in a subject or activity that they had no desire to learn before.
Extrinsic rewards can motivate people to acquire new skillsets and knowledge. Once they learn the skills, they may have more internal motivation to pursue a job or activity.
External rewards can also help people know where they stand in their job or schoolwork. It serves as a way to give people feedback and let them know when they’ve done a good job.

In cases where people already enjoy an activity, parents or employers should refrain from giving external motivation. Basically, it boils down to moderation. Giving too much praise makes the individual less likely to keep up the good behavior. On the other hand, too little praise causes the person to become resentful and disinterested in the activity.

When motivation becomes more important:

External motivation helps in cases where people have no interest in an activity or task. Think about the kids doing a school assignment or an important task at work. You don’t want to give too many rewards. Offer just enough to get people motivated to complete the job. Researchers have drawn the following conclusions about how intrinsic and extrinsic motivation work:

Unexpected rewards usually don’t curb internal motivation. For example, if you actually enjoy your job and you help the company bring in more money, your boss may reward you with a gift card or a promotion. This won’t affect your intrinsic motivation because you genuinely enjoy your work. However, if people start expecting rewards every time they accomplish something, this can become problematic.
Praise can boost your internal motivation in some cases. Researchers have found that giving people positive feedback when they perform a task better than others can improve their internal motivation for doing that task.
Internal motivation will decrease when people receive rewards for doing what’s expected of them or for simple tasks. For example, if parents give their children $5 every time they make their bed, it will lower their motivation for doing their chores every day.

How to Use Each Type of Motivation in Your Life

Think about what goals you have or what duties you’ve been given in your daily life. No matter if you go to school or have a full-time job, you can learn what motivates you and how to use this to your advantage. Let’s say, for example. You have your own business running a travel website. Now, think about what makes you motivated to keep growing this venture.

You probably have both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to maintain your business. That’s because your work keeps people coming to the website each day, which generates monetary rewards. However, you obviously picked that line of work because you get personal satisfaction from teaching people about the finest places to travel around the world. We all get motivated by external and internal factors. Moreover, both of them are necessary for a functional society.

Final thoughts about extrinsic and intrinsic motivation

As you’ve learned in this article, extrinsic motivation comes from anything outside yourself that keeps you working toward a specific goal. Usually, people get motivated by other’s opinions of them, monetary rewards, or positive praise. For example, if you hope to lose weight for external reasons, you may care about looking better to attract someone’s attention or because you want to feel better. However, you may not personally enjoy working out.

Intrinsic motivation comes from anything that we do because we get pleasure out of it. This may pertain to certain hobbies you have. Or, in some cases, it may involve your job. (Although, unfortunately, most people go to work just to pay the bills). As you can see, both types of motivation have a place in society. And we can use both of them to our advantage.

5 Signs Of Bad Communication In A Marriage

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Any divorce lawyer will tell you that one of the most common reasons that a marriage fails is bad communication. People just don’t talk or express themselves as they used to. While some of this can be blamed on phones and other devices, a lot of it is simply two people who are unwilling to see eye to eye until it’s too late.

The good and bad news is that this poor communication doesn’t just “jump” to the end result of divorce. There are usually plenty of signs of communication problems in that way. Many couples may not even be aware of the symptoms.

According to a study published by Dr. Mary Ogechi Esere and other colleagues of The University of Illoran, Nigeria, a marriage without effective communication will crumble. Because of this, it’s essential to recognize and fix communication problems before the union gets to the point of collapsing. Here are five signs of bad communication in a marriage that you can begin to recognize and fix before they get out of control.

1. You have replaced listening with talking.

One of the most significant indicators of a failure to communicate is when communication becomes a one-way street. Sure, there is plenty of talking happening. The two of you aren’t missing a beat when it comes to sharing information.

You may share the details of your day or talk about any activities or chores that need to be done. You may speak about childcare concerns or bills, or even ask how work is going.

One person may even be expressing deeper concerns like how they’re feeling about certain things. This is where the real disconnection comes in. The other partner may simply respond with more talk.

The problem is that it’s all talk, just something that’s filling the air. Either one or both parties are simply not listening to the other. You hear each other, but you’re not processing what’s being said and taking the time to truly understand your partner’s feelings.

It’s like the wants, needs, and desires of each person are being tuned out. This type of dismissive behavior must be nipped in the bud early before it can have lasting damage to a marriage.

Each person must understand that merely hearing the other person isn’t enough. You must each think about what your partner is saying and process it. Only then can effective communication be restored, and a solution to whatever other problems are happening can be found.

2. You find yourself assuming how your partner is feeling.

It’s every person’s dream – to find someone who is on the same wavelength as they are. They want someone that’s so “in tune” with them that the person just automatically knows how they’re feeling.

On the surface, that sounds nice but, that only works in the cupcake stages of a relationship. This is because you’re only dealing with a limited range of emotions. However, keep in mind that we’re all a sophisticated container full of emotions brimming beneath the surface.

By the time you get married, you should have made it past all those initial, easy-to-read emotions. You should understand that there is more than what you can see. This means that you aren’t going always to be able to “read” your partner’s feelings.

That’s okay! It can be considered as healthy. After all, you’re most likely not a psychiatrist or a psychic. This is where communication comes in. You absolutely must be able to talk to each other about your feelings.

When you find yourself in a situation where you can’t or won’t talk to each other about your feelings, there is a severe breakdown of communication. There should never be a time where you’re assuming your partner’s feelings and vice versa. When this starts happening, it’s time to get together and work on the communication between the two of you.

3. You find yourself being irritated at even the smallest issues.

It may seem like your partner can do nothing right lately. You may find yourself wondering how he can be such a screwup. I mean, simple things aren’t even being done, simple needs aren’t being met, and you just too annoyed to even mention them.

When you stop to think about it, a lot of these situations are just that – situations. Not issues. You might not even be able to put your finger on why these things irritate you so much.

There may have even been a time where you thought these little nuances were cute. Those were simpler times. Times when it seemed your partner could do no wrong.

Those times don’t have to be gone forever. You can fix the issue of being irritated at everything if you fix the real issues that’s going on between you. There is only one way to fix those practical issues, and that is to change the bad communication.

You must be willing and able to express what’s irritating you. This doesn’t mean petty stuff. This means the real stuff that’s slowly chipping away at you. You also must be able to listen to your partner if they want to express what’s irritating them.

4. You feel more comfortable talking to someone outside of the marriage.

When you are more comfortable talking to someone outside of the marriage instead of your spouse, there is a clear issue with bad communication. Your spouse should always be the first person you can go to whenever you need to talk. You should feel comfortable in confiding in your spouse, and your spouse should feel the same way about confiding in you.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever confide in friends or family. It’s healthy to be able to talk to others outside of your relationship. Sometimes a fresh perspective on situations can help to open your eyes to specific issues.

However, they should never be a substitute for talking to your spouse. When you begin to avoid talking to your spouse in favor of talking to others, that’s when it’s not okay. That’s when you and your spouse need to talk more than ever, no matter how uncomfortable it can get.

There shouldn’t be any subject that you can’t talk to your spouse about. Even if specific issues push both of your buttons, you should still be confident in knowing that you can speak to your spouse even in disagreement. If not, you may both need to seek outside help together instead of individually.

5. Your sex life is terrible.

Sex might not be everything in a marriage, but it does count for a whole lot. When there is any type of problem in a marriage, you can be sure that it will be reflected through your sexual chemistry. If you’ve noticed a change in your sexual habits with your spouse, bad communication may be the blame.

Poor communication leads to a breakdown in other aspects of the relationship. This can include emotional, mental, and even spiritual elements. Once these things have been broken down due to lack of communication, what you have left is sex.

Sex alone doesn’t keep a marriage together.

You’ll begin to notice that physical bond breaking between you and your spouse. One or both of you may simply “not be in the mood” more often. By the time you’ve reached this point, you’ve probably let the lack of proper communication go too far.

According to Chris Kraft, Ph.D., a director of clinical services of the Sex and Gender Clinic at John Hopkins Medicine, there are plenty of sexual roadblocks that occur in marriages. It’s not necessarily even malicious roadblocks, just everyday circumstances like kids, bills, careers, and more.

The problems mainly occur when there is no communication between spouses about how they’re feeling about all of these things. “You need to talk about it because the resentment that builds up around feelings of inequality is one of the biggest killers of intimacy and sexuality,” says Dr. Kraft.

It’s time to rush into fixing your bad communication problem before it’s too late. It takes two to tango, so if you’re feeling the results of poor communication through your sex life, your spouse is feeling it also. Just sit down and have an honest conversation with each other.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Bad Communication in a Marriage

You got married for a reason. That reason had to have been worth it, right? If your answer is yes, then it’s time to fix the poor communication between you and your spouse.

Communication is what keeps a marriage secure. Sure, times may get tough, and your spirit may get drained from time to time, but this is when you need your partner the most. Use the five signs above to recognize when bad communication has become a problem in your marriage so you can fix it before it becomes a more significant issue.

10 Waist Training Exercises to Make You Slim and Trim

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Everyone wants a healthy body. No matter who you are, it seems like we all have something we’d like to work on. Thankfully, you can make changes by altering what you eat and how you exercise. And adding waist training moves to your fitness routine can give you the slimmer silhouette you want.

Do you crave a sleeker midsection with chiseled abdominals and obliques? Some experts say that your body shape depends a lot on heredity. Sorry, but you can only blame your parents for your love handles and saddlebags so much. Your physique depends greatly on your diet and activity level.

Today’s buzzwords in the health and fitness world are fat-burning and body sculpting. You’ve probably read the alarming statistics concerning the obesity epidemic in America. It’s a national health emergency that affects adults but is also plaguing children.

You know the importance of your body mass index or BMI. This number is significant as it tells you the fat percentage of your body mass. To calculate this number, you divide your weight by your height. Another major factor in determining BMI is your gender.

Maneuvers to Make You Slim and Trim

According to the CDC, your BMI range should be 18-25. You are considered overweight when you get above a 25. You become obese if your BMI gets over 30. It’s essential to keep your BMI at an optimal range to have a leaner, healthier body. To help you with this task, here are some fun waist training exercises to try.

1. Side Crunches

If you want to get rid of those pesky love handles, then the side crunches should help. You will get a good workout for your, waist, hips, and legs.

How to Do It:

Imagine that you’re lying on the bed watching television, as that’s the position you need to be in. Now, turn to your right side paying attention to keep your legs together. Place your left arm behind your head to make yourself comfortable.

You want to form a “V” with your legs and upper body. Bring your legs up as you lift your chest to meet them. Now, breathe in and out for 3-5 seconds and hold the pose. Slowly release your body back down to the starting position. Switch and do it on the right side now. You want to strive for 8-10 reps per side.

2. Triangle Crunches

No waist training workout would be complete without these fat-burning crunches. These triangle crunches can strengthen and tone your abdominals, your sides, and your hips. If you add a little bit of mindful breathing with them, you’ll get the aerobic benefit your heart needs.

How to Do It:

You need to have excellent balance to do this maneuver. Start by putting your left knee on the floor as you lift the right one. Your left-hand goes behind your head, and your right one goes on the floor to help you keep your grounding.

Now, bring your right leg up and do a modified leg lift. When you bring the leg to the top of the lift, hold the pose for 1-2 seconds, then bring it back down. You should do about 20-30 reps per side. You should feel the burn in your abs and hips with this exercise.

3. Arm Planks

Arm planks are some of the best exercises for waist training. While it seems odd, the great thing about these planks is that they will work many of the larger muscle groups in the body. If you lack good posture, then these little maneuvers can help you correct your position and shape your waist.

How to Do It:

Get into the push-up position and bend your forearms as you face forward. Ensure you align your shoulders with your elbows and keep your arms about a shoulder’s width apart. Now, find a spot on the floor to focus on, and keep your neck and spine in proper alignment.

Hold this position while you breathe in and out for 10-15 seconds. Now, lower your body and relax for a few breaths.

4. Starfish Crunch

The cute name of this maneuver was dubbed after the marine creature, the starfish. It’s a bit difficult for those who have arthritis and other issues, so make sure you work to your comfort level.

How to Do It:

Start by lying on the floor flat on your back. Go into a spread-eagle position with your arms and legs spread out. Make sure not to stretch your body too far as it can cause pain. Now, you want to bend your legs up and bring your arms towards your knees.

Your knees and elbows must meet. As you roll your inner section forward to allow the connection, you will feel your core muscles tighten. You need to hold this position for 1-2 seconds and then return to the original prostate stance. You should strive for 20 reps.

5. Criss-Crosses

Fat-burning is essential for losing weight. However, some of the troubled areas, like your waist, are stubborn and don’t like to release it. If you want a trimmer midsection, make these crisscrosses a part of your workout routine.

How to Do It:

Lay on the floor on your right side. Keep your feet stacked on top of each other. Now, rest your hand down your side and keep the left arm as a support for your head. Your right elbow should be pointing towards the ceiling.

Slowly bring your feet into the air while you raise your upper body. Your shoulders and feet should never touch the floor. Hold this position for 1-2 seconds. Do ten reps on one side, then switch to the other side.

If that sounds too advanced, here is a beginner’s variation of that move:

6. Windshield Wipers

The windshield wiper is a good maneuver if you often have hip and lower back pain. The great thing about this exercise is that it can help to strengthen troubled areas while sculpting the muscles in your lower body.

How to Do It:

Lay flat on the floor and hold your arms straight at both sides. Now, slowly lift your legs and bend the knees until they reach a 90-degree angle. Hold for 1-2 seconds, rotate your legs to one side, and make sure they don’t contact the floor.

Hold again for another 1-2 seconds before returning to the starting position. You need to repeat these steps 15 times on each side for a total of 20-30 reps.

7. Donkey Kicks

Do you find that the fat around your midsection area seems to be as stubborn as a donkey? You can start your waist training exercises with a kick. If you want to tone your backside, hips, and thighs, this easy maneuver is for you.

How to Do It:

Get into the doggy position with your knees and hands flat on the floor. Make sure that you keep your hands in alignment with your shoulders. As you breathe, make sure you contract your core muscles. Now, raise one leg and kick it upwards.

You should feel a burn in your glute muscles as you perform this exercise, especially when you keep both your hips and pelvis pointed down. Make sure you keep your head straight and your face looking downward. Keeping your face looking down is essential, or you can cause neck strain. Now, complete ten reps for each leg.

8. Heel Touches

Sometimes, it’s the simple exercises have the most significant outcome. Heel touches can help you to strengthen your core, sides, and belly area.

How to Do It:

First, lay flat on the floor while keeping your knees bent. Keep your legs a shoulder-width apart. Now, keep your palms facing inward, but stretch your arms out to the side. Inhale for 1-2 seconds. While breathing, you need to tighten your upper body to touch your right hand to your right heel.

Hold this movement for 1-2 seconds, and then return to your original position. The goal is to do ten reps on each side for a total of 20.

9. Butterfly Kicks

You’ve never seen a butterfly with a thick waistline, have you? Maybe she knows the secret to this unique waist training exercise.

How to Do It:

Start by lying flat on the floor. You want to clasp your hands behind your head with your elbows bent. Now, lift your shoulders from the mat and keep your elbows pointing outwards. Raise your legs until they are roughly the same height as your shoulders.

Now, here comes the butterfly part. You want to flutter your feet back and forth while holding the upward body in position. Don’t allow the feet to touch. Hold this place for 10-20 seconds, then return to the starting position.

10. Leg Raises

These go beyond the leg lifts you did in high school gym class. You will use your hips and bottom muscles to bring your legs over your head, giving your body a fat-burning stretch.

How to Do It:

Position a sturdy chair, then lie down flat on your back with your head facing the chair. Using both arms, reach behind you and grab onto the front chair legs. Then, involve your core muscles and glutes to gradually raise your legs and bottom side upwards.

You should use your arms for support. Boost your body until your legs and feet are directly over your head. If done correctly, your body will be balancing on your upper torso and shoulders. Hold for 2-3 breaths.

Final Thoughts on Adding Waist Training to Your Exercise Plan

Some of these maneuvers are easier than others. If you have an underlying medical condition, like arthritis, talk to your medical provider about which routines are safe. Some of the best waist training maneuvers target the obliques to give you a trimmer midsection.

Research Reveals Why Humans Often Make Wrong Assumptions

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Did you know that things are never usually as they appear? Take, for instance, social media. People can create a persona that makes them seem like they have an ideal life. Others see a family that is always smiling, enjoying each other on exotic vacations, and everything looks like perfection.

However, what you may not see behind those pictures are the financial problems, marital issues, or the out of control children. You don’t see the many nights the wife spends trying to find her husband as he drinks his cares away at the local bars. You make assumptions on things you see and hear, but can you trust your senses?

Understanding Why We Make Assumptions

Frontiers in Neuroscience explains how personal emotions influence your mindset–and in making assumptions.

Assumptions are based on your beliefs and feelings, and you project these things onto others. However, making these hypotheses is often a dangerous game as things are rarely how they seem. Why is it that humans are always so eager to jump to conclusions about others?

Let’s assume you go to the department store one afternoon. You notice a friend in there with a man that is not her husband. Instead of thinking logically that there must be a reason for this occurrence, your mind automatically sees the situation in the worst possible light.

The person with the lady in the store might be a relative, or it could be a friend asking for help in picking out something for their girlfriend. You don’t know that situation, but you are eager to judge based on only what you see.

The Self-Centered Nature of Humans

A psychological study proved that making assumptions stems from inherent biases.

So, why do people tend to jump to conclusions when they only have a fraction of the story? It’s because you see things through your perception. Everyone is a little bit self-centered, and whatever your brain tells you must be gospel.

How often have you become upset because your friend didn’t see things your way as if your opinion were the only one that counted? Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and rather than truly listening to what they had to say, you were contemplating what you would say next?

Every person on planet earth is unique. While you may share similar traits like blue eyes or brown hair, there is no one else like you around. So, why is it that so many people expect and assume that everyone should be the same?

If someone doesn’t like the things you do or see things your way, then they are wrong. Could you be a bit negative towards those that don’t fit the classic mold, so you judge them?

Dealing with Preconceived Notions

A preconceived notion is a conception that is grounded in your experiences. For instance, you believe that you know all the ingredients in a pepperoni pizza just by looking at it. You know that you’ve made them at home, and you used flour, yeast, salt, sugar, cornmeal, and water for the crust.

You presume that whoever made this pizza used the same ingredients based on your methods. However, they may have a special ingredient in their crust that gives it that extra chewy flavor. A preconceived notion is a belief grounded in an assumption because there is nothing to back it up. Without proof or certainty, you must use your life experiences to form a conclusion.

The only problem with these notions is that you believe them to be correct, but they may be false. Additionally, these things can put you in an extremely negative mindset, and you can become critical of others. It can even affect how you treat other people.

Tatiana De Rosnay wrote a novel about how preconceived thinking alters your attitude about others. The book is called “A Secret Kept.” In this novel, she explores a brother and sister looking for information about their deceased mother.

The mother died when the duo was little, and all they were left behind with was some love letters that were written to her. Her lover wrote beautiful memos that gave them great comfort in knowing that she was loved and adored. The children believed that the person writing the letters was a man.

Years later, they were astounded to find out that a woman wrote these notes. Their mother was in a relationship with a lady. There were plenty of other clues in the letters that it was two women in love, but the children assumed it was a man doing the writing based on their preconceived concepts.

According to the NIH, the difficulty in taking preconceived notions as truths is that it can lead you to extremely negative and critical opinions about others. Additionally, those beliefs can affect how you treat others too.

5 Tips for Breaking the Negative Mindset That Leads to Assumptions

Your beliefs and prejudices come from your life experiences and your upbringing. At birth, a child knows no race, gender, or religion. They learn these things through observing and hearing their parents, grandparents, and other family members.

As a child ages, they soon learn the differences in society. Your mind also helps to form these beliefs based on things that have happened to you. For instance, if you knew a girl in school named Kennedy that was always troubled and an emotional wreck, then you might be against naming your daughter the same.

It’s not that your daughter would be a problem child, but you automatically remember a fellow student, and her actions are forever associated with that name. How often has your negative mindset caused you to make assumptions about people that weren’t true just because you had a bad experience?

Thankfully, you have the power to break this cycle and to stop making assumptions about people. Even though humans tend to be a bit self-centered, it’s possible to change your thinking. Here are some tips to help you reverse your negative thought processes.

1. Live in the Moment

Don’t allow your mind to build elaborate ideas of how people are going to be. Take time to discover a person and genuinely get to know them. So many people are judging books by their cover that they never take time to see what’s on the inside.

The sad thing is you’ve probably missed out on great friendships in life because you used your pessimistic mindset to form incorrect opinions.

2. Don’t Be Quick to Judge Surface Situations

Things are usually not how they appear on the surface. This is especially true if you do not know the situation at hand. You are programmed to look at your own life to form assumptions.

Like the lady in the department store with a guy you didn’t know, don’t be so eager to jump to conclusions. Often, your findings are not factual.

3. Find out the Truth

Rather than assume things, you need to find out the truth, and stick with the facts. If you are going to judge a situation, then make sure you have the whole story. Remember, there are always two sides, and if you’re a third-party observer, then you are probably not even close to knowing what’s going on.

4. Give Up the Judgmental Attitude

According to The Lancet, judgmental attitude is a breeding ground for conflict. When you make assumptions and judge others, it creates tension. Think of all the potential opportunities that you have missed out on because you judged someone incorrectly. The article suggests one should work on honing judgment instead of being judgmental of others.

You could make connections and have friends that would treat you to new experiences if you would only stop assuming things and give people a fair chance.

5. Learn to Empathize

To be a good friend and relative, you must learn how to empathize with others. Consider their story and where they are in life before you assume anything. If a conflict should arise in life, the first step is to take a deep breath.

You need to talk to the person and make sure that you know the whole story before jumping to conclusions. Lastly, stop overreacting on what you think might have occurred. When you look at people through the eyes of empathy, then you can see things in a whole different light.

Final Thoughts: Stop Making Wrong Assumptions!

Each day you walk through life with notions of how things will go. Your theories have a dramatic impact on your perceptions, and these notions will often affect the world around you without you even being aware.

For instance, your boss wants you to attend a meeting to discuss something important. It’s the morning, and the meeting isn’t until the afternoon. Since your boss usually doesn’t call you into his office, you automatically assume the worst.

By lunchtime, you’ve already redone your resume, and you are sure that you’re going to be fired. Before you walk into your boss’s office, you’re having a nervous breakdown and are in defense mode.

You’ve let your preconceived ideas dictate the outcome, and you were doomed before you walked through the door. Your boss actually wanted to thank you for a project you worked on and offer you a bonus. However, your mind used previous experiences to assume what was going to happen.

In this scenario, you caused yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. It’s essential never to judge or jump to conclusions in life.

Trainers Reveal 10 Arm Exercises That Boost Your Self-Confidence

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you want arms that are rippling with muscles? Perhaps, you just want to tone fat and make your arms a little less flabby. When you want to burn fat and gain muscle mass, you need specific exercises that can tone and burn simultaneously. Primarily, a proper diet will help to achieve this goal.

Proper Nutrition to Enhance Your Muscles

Before you even think about workouts with arm exercises, you need to change your eating habits. Building muscle is hard work, and you need to make sure you give your body the proper nutrition to accomplish this task.

Additionally, you want to burn fat too, so it can be hard to know what you need to eat. Here are the best foods for helping you get those arms in top shape.

Salmon
Beef and other Lean Meats
Almonds
Quinoa
Milk
Apples
Flaxseeds
Spinach
Legumes
Bananas
Brown Rice
Sweet Potatoes
Chicken
Coconut Oil

Each of these items has the necessary things your body needs to feed your muscles. Salmon is high in Omega-3s and fatty acids, and sweet potatoes have the fiber to sustain you so that you don’t binge eat. Additionally, legumes are loaded with powerful nutrients and can also help you from eating too much food.

No one has gained weight eating a diet of nutritious beans. Find some things that you like that will enhance the results you get from your workouts.

Self-Confidence Boosting Arm Exercises

Are you ready to conquer that unsightly arm fat and turn your biceps into sculptured works of art? Start by investing in a good pair of dumbbells for your arm exercises as it will make the difference. Weights add resistance and will help you to reach your goal faster. If you’re ready to boost your self-confidence, here are ten of the best exercises to help you.

1. Push Ups

Pushups are the quintessential exercise for building both the biceps and triceps. Start by lying on your stomach down on the floor. Get your arms in the push-up position. You can do this exercise in one of two ways. First, you can use your knees for support.

You are in on all fours, and you push up and down with your palms, but your knees never leave their position. The second way to do this exercise is to lay prostrate on the floor with the tips of your toes touching the ground. Move up and down, pushing your body weight with your arms.

Your chest should almost touch the floor each time you come down, and your arms should be extended. Try doing about 15-20 reps of either variation.

2. Triceps Back Kick

These back kicks begin by bending your knees and leaning your body forward till you reach a 45-degree angle. Using a dumbbell, bend the elbows and bring the weight to your side. Now, extend one arm backward and then bring it forward.

Make sure that you lightly squeeze your muscle as you do these exercises. Do one on the left side and one on the right, which is one rep. You should do about 20 reps in total.

3. Hammer Curl

If you are looking for arm exercises that boost your self-confidence in a tank top, try the hammer curl. Start by standing up straight with a weight in each hand. Make sure that your hands are down to your side and your palms are facing inward.

Keep your arms at your side, and gradually bring each weight up until it almost touches the opposite pectoral muscle. Once you get it to the proper position, hold the weight in place for a few seconds.

Now, repeat the maneuver with the next arm. You want to do one curl on each side, which counts as one rep. Do about ten of these repetitions.

4. Zottman Curl

The Zottman curl is one of the fierce arm exercises that will give you biceps as hard as baseballs, and your forearms will be impressive too. This maneuver was named after George Zottman, who was a legendary strongarm born in 1867. While you may not break any records with this move, you might turn a few heads.

Start by standing up straight and weight each hand. Your hands should be at your side with the dumbbell in each one. Use an underhanded grip for this curl. Gradually curl the weights towards your shoulders, but you must rotate your hands from underhand to overhand grips.

Make sure you keep your elbows tucked and locked as you do these curls. Reps are between 10-15 curls.

5. Medicine Ball Push Up

Start by using a medicine ball and placing one in each hand. Keep your knees on the ground while your arms are fully extended. Now, bend your elbows as you slowly lower your torso to the floor. The goal is to get your arms to a 90-degree angle and then go back to the starting position.

You should do hold the curl for about 30 seconds without stopping, then do a 15-second interval before resting. Now, switch to the other side and do the same thing.

6. Dumbbell Press

Start by spreading your feet shoulder-width apart and keep your knees bent ever so slightly. Put your hands in front of your chest and hold one dumbbell or kettlebell with your hands. Now, move your hands out away from your chest and up until you’re raising your arms.

When your arms are above your head, hold the position for about two seconds. Now, slowly return the dumbbell to the original position. If you’re using a weight under ten pounds, then you should do approximately 15-20 reps. If your dumbbell is larger than 20 pounds, then you should do about ten reps.

7. Bicep Curl

If you need to sit while doing part of your workout, this is a perfect arm exercise. Start in the seated position. Take a comfortably sized dumbbell in each hand. Your arms should be hanging at your side naturally.

You must keep your back straight and hold good posture. Now, curl each arm up and bring the weight almost to your shoulders. Always keep your palm facing inwards for proper form and hold the curl for a few seconds before lowering the weight. Try ten repetitions.

8. Around the World

You’ve probably heard of around the world exercise in basketball, but it can be used in arm exercises too. Start by standing with your feet about a shoulder’s width apart. Keep your knees slightly bent and hold one dumbbell in front of you.

Just like in basketball, the goal is to move the weight around to different positions. There should be a total of three sub-movements. Start by moving the dumbbell to one side, then to the back, and the side of your head.

It’s essential to keep the weight in a vertical or horizontal position to increase tension and outcome. You should do ten reps on each side, which is a total of 20 altogether.

9. Dumbbell Rear Delt Fly

If you want to tone your arms, back, and provides some stabilization to your spine, then the rear delt fly is what you need. Start by standing nice and tall and keeping your legs slightly spread apart. Now, using two dumbbells, keep one in each hand placed at your side.

Be careful in selecting your weight size as you want to do 12 repetitions. Slowly move your torso forward and bend your legs a bit. Your arms should extend below your body, and your hands should face each other as they hold the weight. Now, you must keep your back flat with no arches.

Raise your arms out to the side and exhale all the air in your lungs. Squeeze your shoulder blades tight while doing this movement. Keep your head and back straight as you do this rep.

Now, inhale as you bring your arms back to the starting position as you’ve completed one rep. You should do 2-3 sets of 12 reps.

10. Triceps Extensions

This curl is easy, but it’s amazingly effective. Start by standing up straight with your feet slightly bent. Now, use an average-sized dumbbell, preferably between 10-20 lbs. Using both hands, grasp the dumbbell, and bring it over your head.

Make sure you keep your shoulders and elbows still, but you want to slowly bend your elbows, allowing the weight to be lowered and raised behind your head about 90 degrees. Your elbows must always be facing forward and never go out to the side. Lifting the weight up and down once is a rep. You should do about 20 reps.

Final Thoughts on Eating Right, Working Out, and Feeling Great

When you are eating healthy and doing those arm exercises, you will feel great. Who doesn’t need a little boost of confidence these days? If you put in the time and effort it takes to have sculpted arms, then you will reap the rewards.

Psychology Reveals How Positive Thinking Helps Smoking Cessation

August 13, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you’re a smoker, there’s never been a better time to quit than now. Nobody said that it’s going to be easy because nicotine is a strong addiction. However, advances in smoking cessation support and nicotine replacement therapy can make it less difficult for you.

The Age of Innocence

You didn’t set out to be addicted to tobacco. Remember watching the films in grade school about the dangers of smoking and the countless studies linking it to lung disease? You probably donated some of your spare change to the Send a Mouse to College research program of the American Lung Association.

Those educational films were eye-opening, as they showed pictures of diseased lungs that were blackened and deformed from years of smoking. The profound pain and suffering from end-stage emphysema and lung cancer is widely known. You don’t want these diseases, but you probably didn’t even consider them when you were hiding in the school bathroom smoking with your friends.

Smoke & Mirrors

The world’s love affair with tobacco has been a dangerous association for thousands of years. When European explorers came to the shores of America, they found that tobacco had a place of reverence in sacred rites of the indigenous people. During colonization, after the fight for independence, and into modern times, tobacco remains a major crop in the United States.

In the early part of the 20th century, many states and local laws forbade women from smoking in public. With the advent of the females’ right to vote and women joining the workforce during World War II, public opinion waffled, and many women saw smoking cigarettes as a glowing emblem of freedom.

Even after laws were made to place a health warning from the American Surgeon General on each pack of cigarettes and cigars, big tobacco companies used sly advertising campaigns to lure young people into smoking. Television, magazines, and the golden screens were ablaze with attractive models and actors poised with a burning cigarette in hand.

Ads for dainty, perfumed cigarettes used women’s liberation themes to appeal to females. Rugged cowboys rode horseback with a favorite brand of a cigarette dangling from their lips to show how macho smoking was. Unfortunately, these subtle imageries worked, and they captivated entire generations of Americans and that’s why people love to smoke cigarettes and cigars with the Warfighter Tobacco for better flavor too.

The Mindset of Smoking Tobacco Addiction

As with any substance abuse, you were in control at first. You probably enjoyed that initial rush of energy with that first puff of smoke. Perhaps, you started smoking at an early age and felt a guilty pleasure from doing something naughty and dangerous. You may have told yourself that you could quit at any time, but soon found that the tobacco was in control of your life.

Your first step to breaking nicotine’s hold on your life is to admit that you have a problem that’s out of control. Nicotine is highly addictive, physically, mentally, and emotionally. For smoking cessation, you need a holistic approach that involves the body, mind, and spirit.

Many former smokers said that beating the psychological dependency was probably the most difficult part of their journey. When they opened their minds to self-compassion and positive thinking, it was easier to fight the cravings and stop smoking for good. Their victory started in their minds and revised thought patterns.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Can positive thinking benefit smoking cessation and help you avoid lung-related illnesses and other associated diseases? Your mind is a powerful tool that can help you beat addiction. If you’ve decided to lay down the cigarettes, here are some ways that positive thinking can help.

• It Changes Your Attitude

If you’ve been a smoker for years, maybe you think it’s too late for you. Many longtime smokers say that they’ve smoked this long, and they may as well continue, regardless of their failing health. Does that sound like a familiar excuse in your mind?

Since nicotine addiction started in your mind, so does your cessation. Reverse some of the images you had that inspired you to smoke in the first place. Instead of thinking that smoking makes you look cool, realize how admirable you look when you crush the habit. Rethink your whole attitude about how smoking has affected your lifestyle and health.

You are changing from a smoker to a non-smoker, and your emotions may be all over the place. You’ve identified with that lighter and cigarette for so long that it has become an extension of yourself. Part of making the break from smoking realizes that your addiction does not define you and that you have the power to change.

• It Can Help with Visualization & Affirmations

Ralph Waldo Emerson wisely concluded that you are what you think. If you believe that you can overcome the smoking habit, you can do it. First, you must visualize yourself passing by the cigarette stand in the store and only saving your lighters to light scented candles at home.

Visualize how different life will be when you’re no longer in the constant grip of smoking tobacco. Your hair and clothes won’t stink like stale smoke anymore, and you’ll lose those unsightly nicotine stains on your nails and teeth. Visualize all the money you’ll save when you stop buying tobacco products, and you should think of all the things you can do with that extra money.

Affirm to yourself each day that you are a beautiful, loving person who deserves to be loved. Tell yourself that you are taking charge of your life and removing the hold that smoking has over you. Remind yourself that you will be kind, loving, and patient during the cessation process.

As you look in the mirror, smile and say that you are the image of health and refuse to let cigarettes threaten you with lung disease or other disorders. Declare yourself a winner and a survivor, even when you have a few failures along the way. Make positive affirmation signs and post them in conspicuous places in your home and office.

• It Can Help Your Chart Your Progress

Many people find that journaling is an ideal way of recording their thoughts, dreams, and aspirations while recovering from addictions like smoking. The great thing about journaling is that it’s your project and you decide how you want to do it and what’s right for you.

It can be as simple as a computer-based log, an inexpensive school notebook, or an elaborate handmade journal. You should write whenever you feel like it or when you get the urge for a puff. Maybe you could write about your first experiences with smoking and how it deluded your thinking.

Perhaps you can use a few pages to devote to your affirmations to change your attitude about smoking. Another section may be reserved to remind yourself of the negative outcomes of smoking, such as smelly clothes, premature aging, money loss, emphysema, and lung cancer. At the bottom of each page, reassure yourself that you are making the positive changes necessary to avoid these troublesome side effects.

In another section of your positive thinking journal, imagine what your life will be without smoking. You’ll have no more days of standing outside in the cold and rain to get a cigarette break. Your appearance and health will improve, and you will get past the fear of possible lung cancer and premature death.

• It Can Help You To Replace Bad Habits with Good Ones

It’s human nature to want to barter rather than to give up something. If you’ve been a smoker for years, many of your daily habits and pleasures in life probably revolved around cigarettes. There’s the after-dinner smoke and cocktail, the weekly Friday night poker game with a splendid cigar, or a relaxing smoke in your favorite lounge chair while watching a movie.

Just the thought of nixing smoking from the equation may fill you with anxiety. On a positive note, you needn’t give up the things you enjoy just because you stopped smoking. There’s nothing you must stop doing because it requires a cigarette, cigar, or pipe. Trade out the bad habit for a positive, healthy one.

Keep a stock of sugarless gum and mints close by for when you get a cigarette craving. Smoking won’t give you any more luck in your beloved card games than chewing gum can. In the beginning stages of smoking cessation, you may find it comforting to fiddle with a pencil or pen in your hand to ward off psychological cravings.

Did you know that your body starts to heal almost immediately after you stop smoking? You’ll probably be amazed that you can walk greater distances and do more things without losing your breath or having coughing fits. To keep your mind off smoking, consider taking walks, and marvel at the beauty of the world around you that’s not blurred by cigarette smoke.

Final Thoughts on Staying in a Positive Mindset During Smoking Cessation

Breaking any addiction, like smoking, requires a good support system, especially from your primary healthcare provider. Talk to your provider about a smoking cessation plan that is tailored to your needs. It may include nicotine replacement therapy such as patches or gum, as well as counseling.

Positive thinking can be your guide to lay cigarettes down for good. Improving your health and avoiding lung diseases is worth it. Leave the hazy smoke behind you and step into the fresh air of a new lifestyle.

Therapists Explain 7 Signs You’ve Found Your Partner for Life

August 13, 2020 by Power of Positivity

When you’ve finally found your partner for life, you’ll feel it in your bones that you no longer have to search for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Everyone deserves love, but that doesn’t mean it comes easily. Usually, we stumble upon it when we’re not looking for a relationship in the first place. Not everyone believes in soulmates, of course, but studies show that people have happier relationships when they view their partner as the only one for them.

This makes much sense because if you feel that no one else could ever compare to your sweetheart, you won’t feel the need to wonder “what if” about other potential mates. You’ll have that peaceful satisfaction of knowing that you’ve found the ultimate love in your significant other. However, we don’t always know when we’ve met the right person. Your intuition may tell you that you’ve found your ideal partner, but you might need some more affirmation than that.

Below, we’ll go over some common signs that you’ve met your partner for life so that you don’t let them slip through your fingertips!

Therapists explain seven signs you’ve met your soulmate:

You feel a connection with them you’ve never had before.

Perhaps you may feel an almost otherworldly connection with them. You feel as if you’ve known your love before in previous lifetimes. When you’re not speaking to them, the silence feels comfortable instead of awkward. However, during a conversation, you feel fascinated and stimulated by what they have to say, and you don’t need to hide or hold back your thoughts or feelings. Everything fits, and it feels like the pieces of your puzzle have finally started to come together.

You feel at home in their company and could talk for hours with them about everything and nothing at all. Being physically attracted to someone naturally happens all the time, but below the surface, we all want and need a deeper connection. When you’ve found this genuine bond, you know you have your partner for life.

You can see a future with them.

Soulmates usually have the same outlook or perspective on life, and may even share similar goals. When you have wildly opposing views about politics, religion, marriage, or any other significant ideologies, it makes it very difficult to make the relationship last. So, when you meet your forever partner, you will find it easy to mesh with them about important issues. Because of your compatibility, you can see a future with them, even after just a few dates.

Also, we’d like to add that having similar goals in life may help the longevity in the relationship. Not to mention, when you have the same interests, it enables you to bond in a more profound way and possibly create businesses and other pursuits together.

You speak the same language.

Having a partner that understands your emotions and way of explaining things helps you feel more seen and heard in a relationship. If you continuously feel misunderstood and alienated by your partner, you probably won’t want to stick around too long. However, when you’ve met your partner for life, they will never make you feel neglected or alone. They make it a priority to ask the deep questions and listen to you intently in conversations.

You both may have the same sense of humor or perhaps a similar way of looking at the world, which gives you a connection like no other.

They make you feel safe.

You no longer have to hide pieces of yourself or wish you could meet someone who understands you. In this person, you’ve found everything you need, and they make you feel safe physically, mentally, and emotionally. They talk problems out with you, listen to you when you’ve had a bad day, and protect you to the end of the Earth. When you meet your soulmate, you’ll know it based on how seriously they take the relationship.

Your partner for life will want to do everything they can to make you happy because they genuinely love and care about you. They have no desire to hurt you and would do anything in their power to give you the life you deserve. You have a sense of inner calm in the relationship, and insecurities you used to have just melted away. When you meet that person who wants to go all-in and will stand by your side through the good and evil, you know you’ve bonded with your special someone.

You feel that the challenges you face make you stronger as a couple.

Upon meeting your partner for life, you’ll notice that any obstacles you face together bring you closer together as a couple. Some people tend to clash in personality or have different conflict managing styles that make it challenging to come to a solution. However, when you’ve met your soulmate, you’ll find that you meet challenges with ease and complement one another nicely.

For instance, if you want to start a business together, they might know about finance, whereas you know more about advertising and marketing. So, you come together to use your skills and create something beautiful as a couple and utilize each other’s strengths. However, your partner doesn’t criticize you for your weaknesses; they guide you gently if you need help with something.

Everything works.

Of course, no relationship comes in a perfect little package of rainbows and butterflies, but in general, you don’t have too many hangups. You take care of conflict in a mature way and make sure you hear each other’s opinions without becoming overly defensive or critical. You enjoy one another’s companionship. Plus, you can’t wait to spend time together on weekends or when you get home from work. You never get tired of one another, because they feel like home to you.

You feel stronger with them than before because they’ve helped you become a better person. A healthy, beneficial relationship will always improve your life, not cause you more problems and misery. If you feel happier and more at ease with yourself and life in general upon meeting your significant other, you might have found your partner for life.

Your friends and family approve of your soulmate, too.

Now, we do not want you to think that you must have your family’s approval before marrying someone, but usually, your family can tell when someone’s good for you or not. If the people closest to you have only good things to say about your partner, then it reaffirms your own feelings about him or her. They may mention how you light up when you talk about them or are in their company, or how much happier you seem.

Your significant other soon will be spending a lot of time with your loved ones, so their opinion of them does matter to some extent. You want a partner who will mesh well with the people who matter to you, so if they do, this is certainly a positive sign. Make sure you pay close attention to how your loved ones communicate and respond to your partner, and listen to them if they spot any red flags.

Sometimes, our family or friends can see potential problems in a different light than we can since they have an outside perspective.

Here are fifteen hopelessly romantic ways to show your girlfriend some love.

Final thoughts on signs you’ve found your partner for life

Everyone wants to find that special significant someone, but how do you know when you’ve met them? Usually, if your family and friends really adore them, you connect with them on an insanely deep level, and you can look into the future and see them there, you have probably met the one. Other signs include feeling safe and peaceful in their presence, speaking a similar soul language, feeling understood and heard, and just meshing well in most areas of your life. It also helps if you hold a similar worldview and can overcome obstacles together with ease.

Not to mention, when you’ve found The One, other people will notice. They might even feel a little jealous and wonder where they can find a partner as wonderful as yours. You’ll want to show them off because you feel so enthralled with who they are as a person. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, however, as long as you communicate well, make each other happy, and put equal effort into the relationship, you can make it work for the long haul.

Finding your partner for life will make you feel whole and complete in a way that nothing else compares, and it will likely happen when you least expect it. If you haven’t met this person, don’t worry; they might cross your path in an unlikely place, like the grocery store or the gym! Love finds us when we’re ready, so as long as you focus on making yourself happy and following your heart, it will come to you.

9 Signs That You Are Being Contacted By A Spirit

August 13, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Many people have reported being contacted by a spirit through various means. Upon entering a room, they might feel a rush of cold air or hear a song on the radio that their loved one always played. Some people may interpret these as coincidences

But others feel an angel or spirit guide from beyond wants to send them a message. These guides help us along our path in life and make sure we choose only to allow things that support our highest good.

Here are nine signs a spirit is trying to contact you:

Sometimes you might see repeating numbers or notice signs on a billboard with a message you need to hear. Other times, you might just read a page in a book that jumps out at you. No matter where or how you receive the message, know that if it resonates deeply in your soul, the universe wants you to know about it. Below, we’ll review some surefire signs that an angel or spirit wants to connect with you.

1 – You feel deeply moved by something you read in a book or elsewhere.

Sometimes, spirits try to get our attention through written words on a billboard, in a book, or maybe even in an advertisement. Spirits operate in higher realms, and since they can’t physically talk to us, they must use different mediums, such as technology or books to communicate with us. Have you ever read a passage in a book that just moved you to tears or overwhelmed you with joy? Maybe your guides know that you’ve been looking for a sign of hope lately and decided to reassure you through the novel you’ve been reading.

Perhaps the universe wants you to bookmark that page for future reference because it contains an important message for your journey here on Earth. Or, maybe your angels or guides directed you to turn the TV on a particular channel and hear a message from an actress at just the right time. Another scenario might have you driving along the freeway and noticing a billboard with an inspirational or motivational message such as “Just keep going.” Some people pay to put those messages up because they know so many people need hope and encouragement in today’s world.

No matter how you get the messages, written words can be a powerful way for spirits to communicate with you. If you feel they’re trying to send you a sign, pause for a moment in your day and reflect on what your guides want you to know.

2 – You find bird feathers in your driveway or yard.

Any bird feathers, especially from a hawk or eagle, signify that an angel or spirit wishes to grace you with their presence. Feathers serve as tokens or presents from your guides, letting you know that you are not alone and that they’re watching over you. You can take comfort and peace in knowing that you have an angel nearby who wants to reassure you as you navigate this often cruel and confusing world.

In the Native American culture, feathers symbolize a gift from the Creator and high honor. It also embodies the qualities of trust, wisdom, power, strength, and freedom. Native Americans earned a feather when they won a battle or showed bravery in war, and if a feather fell from the sky, they believed it carried with it powerful energy from the Great Spirit. They think that eagles, in particular, have a lot of power and good energy because of their strength and bravery. Therefore, they hold eagle feathers in high regard if one falls on their land.

3 – Small amounts of change like pennies, nickels, and dimes.

Sometimes, angels like to give us encouragement and comfort through monetary means. This gift shows they want to support you emotionally and financially because of the good karma you’ve incurred. So, if you see a penny or even quarters nearby, take that as a sign from your spirit guide that you have chosen the right path and your kind thoughts and actions have been rewarded.

4 – You smell certain scents when you walk into a room.

Sometimes, our angels like to overwhelm our senses with a powerful aroma to help us recall fond memories or remember our loved ones. Maybe you walk into your house and immediately smell your mom’s favorite perfume. You think she is there, only to find the house empty just as you left it. How can you explain this? Most people can only point to the spirit world to make sense of this phenomenon.

Spirits love to comfort us through certain smells, such as aromatic roses or gardenias. You probably have a spirit guide nearby if you smell something out of the blue without any other explanation.

5 – You have powerful, vivid dreams.

Spirits love to convey messages through our dreams, and this mode of communication comes most readily to them. As one of their favorite tools, our guides like to deliver powerful messages when our subconscious mind can better absorb them. During our sleeping state, the usual stimuli of life gets shut off, and our dreams get our full attention. Some common ideas that spirits like to give us include the following:

hopes of seeing a deceased loved one
fantasy dreams, perhaps where we’re a hero that gets to save the planet
thoughts about dying (usually interpreted as the end of a chapter in our life)
dreams about flying
end of the world dreams (maybe you feel uneasy about certain aspects of your life. These usually mean there’s a level of uncertainty you think)

Whenever you have vivid dreams such as these, write them in a notebook when you wake up. Dreams can carry powerful messages from beyond that spirits deliver into our subconscious.

6 – You see orbs.

While some people believe that orbs are nothing more than pieces of dust reflected in the sunlight or flash of a camera, others believe that spheres are spirits. If you notice these in a recent picture you’ve taken or just while walking through your house, take note of any other sensations you feel. Maybe the room gets a little chilly, or you sense a presence with you.

7 – Certain songs keep replaying on the radio.

Spirits also love to communicate through music. If a spirit wants to contact you and knows that you deeply resonate with songs, it will direct your attention to a particular station or song that speaks to you. When you hear a song that moves you or stirs up positive emotions, know that an angel wants you to listen to the message in the music for a reason. The vibrations in the music can affect us in either a positive or negative way, so if you feel joy after hearing a song, your angels or guides want to send you comfort and good energy.

8 – You feel a spirit near you when you enter a room.

Do you sometimes feel light touch or caress on your shoulder but don’t feel freaked out? A benevolent spirit will make you feel at ease when it enters a room and will want to draw near you to send specific messages. Usually, spirits reserve these close encounters for times you feel deep sorrow or depression, perhaps over the recent loss of a loved one. If you feel the room getting hotter or colder with no explanation, or you feel a subtle touch on your shoulder, know that a spirit wants to contact you for a specific reason.

9 – More synchronicities are happening in your life.

Maybe you see repeating numbers on a clock or notice the right people keep showing up in your life at just the right time. These synchronicities happen when we tap into the universe’s flow, and everything seems to fall into place. As we increase our frequency, things seem to flow much easier, and we don’t have to put in as much effort for things to go our way.

If you often see ravens, this might be why.

Final thoughts about signs a spirit is contacting you

Spirits love to communicate with us differently to deliver specific essential messages that our souls need to hear. Standard methods of communication include books, songs, coins, dreams, certain scents, bird feathers, and visual light energy like orbs. Spirits may also show themselves through manifesting synchronicities, lightly touching you on the arm or shoulder, or making a room hotter or colder with their energy.

No matter how a spirit or angel contacts you, remember that any of these signs have a positive connotation. You have selected the right path in life, and your guides have come to reassure you!

Research Reveals How Internet Addiction Disorder Harms the Brain

August 13, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Our world relies more and more on technology in its various applications. But a growing number of people have begun to develop Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD). Psychologists and researchers have not yet classified it as an official mental disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5. However, they did formulate the criteria for internet addiction. At least three subtypes of internet addiction have been identified: online gambling addiction, cybersex addiction, and video game addiction.

Twenty psychiatrists developed diagnostic criteria for internet addiction among Taiwanese adolescents. They organized the requirements into three categories, A-C. Additionally, they determined that a diagnosis of internet addiction disorder required having six of the nine symptoms in Criteria A, one of the three impairments in B, and the exclusion criteria of Criteria C.

Here are the criteria for the diagnosis of IAD, according to these psychiatrists:

Criteria A Symptoms

Preoccupation with Internet activities
Repeated failure to resist the urge to use the internet
A marked increase in the duration of Internet use needed to achieve satisfaction
Symptoms of depression, dissatisfaction, boredom, anxiety, or irritability after a prolonged time without using the internet
Using the internet to relieve or avoid symptoms of withdrawal
Inability to stop using the internet for longer than intended
Persistent desire accompanied by the inability to cut down on Internet use.
Tremendous effort in gaining access to the internet if it isn’t readily available
Continued heavy internet use despite knowledge of physical or psychological problems likely caused by the internet

Criteria B Functional Impairments

Recurrent internet use failing to fulfill obligations at work or school.
Impaired social relationships
Behavior that violates school or work rules related to Internet use

Criteria C exclusion

The behavior of internet addiction can’t be explained or classified by other mental disorders. We need more studies to examine the comorbidity of Internet addiction and other psychological disorders.

Many countries all over the world have seen a rise in Internet use. Partially, this is because the work we do today requires an online presence in some manner. However, it can become addictive due to the rewards we get from engaging in certain activities, such as getting likes and comments on social media posts or beating levels in a game. Addictions activate certain areas of the brain associated with pleasure, known as the “reward center” of the brain. When these centers get activated, the brain releases dopamine and other feel-good chemicals.

The problem occurs when people become so accustomed to this steady release of dopamine that they spend hours online trying to achieve even greater results. This response leads to internet addiction despite the adverse consequences of the users’ experience. Addictions occur as a maladaptive way of coping with the pressures of life, and even if the addiction causes marital or career problems, the person feels they can’t stop the behavior.

Prevalence of Internet Addiction Across the World

In most countries, self-reported questionnaires and clinical studies have shown that teenagers and young adults in their twenties suffer the most with internet addiction. Pathological internet use in Europe among teenagers was 4.4%, according to the Young Diagnostic Questionnaire (DQ) for Internet Addiction. 18.3% of university students in the UK used the internet heavily according to the Pathological Internet Use Scale. Prevalence rates in the US among youth range from 0 to a whopping 26.3%.

In China, 8.1% of adolescents showed evidence of problematic internet use in the Young Internet Addiction Test, and in Taiwan, rates are anywhere between 13.4 and 15.3% among incoming university students. In South Korea, internet addiction poses such a threat that officials have declared it a national health problem.

Of course, the internet does provide us a means to communicate with each other and learn new skills. But as with anything, too much of it becomes disadvantageous. Below, we’ll go over how the overuse of the internet can harm your brain, and how to take precautions against these dangers.

Researchers reveal how internet addiction disorder hurts the brain:

1 – It increases the risk of developing other psychological disorders or exacerbates symptoms already present.

More research needs to be done regarding the comorbidity of internet addiction and other disorders, but present research indicates that heavy use of the internet may exacerbate symptoms already present. Many people use the internet to cope with anxiety and depression, not realizing that the overuse of technology can make their symptoms even worse. Scientists have found strong correlations between internet addiction and low self-esteem, impulsivity, poor sleep quality, mood disorders, and suicide.

A study of 2,114 students (1,204 males and 910 females) diagnosed with IAD revealed a higher prevalence of ADHD, depressive disorders, social phobia, and hostility. That outcome was especially prevalent in males diagnosed with IAD.

In another illuminating study, researchers used four different questionnaires on participants: the Young IA test, the insomnia severity index, the depression anxiety stress scale, and the Rosenberg self-esteem scale.

A total of 600 students (182 males and 418 females) between 18-28 years old were given the questionnaires. They found rates of IAD around 16.8% and discovered a significantly higher prevalence in males vs. females (23.6 vs. 13.9%). They also discovered higher rates of anxiety, depression, and stress in those who used the internet heavily.

2 – Internet addiction can impair sleep quality.

People who use technology in excess may stay up very late and lose sleep, or not feel able to fall asleep at a normal time due to overstimulation of the brain. The blue light from phones and computers can disrupt melatonin and other chemicals in our brains, but the excessive activity before bedtime also interrupts quality sleep.

Most experts say to turn off technology at least a couple hours before bed so melatonin levels can return to normal, and not keep phones near us overnight.

3 – It alters the reward circuitry in the brain.

Through brain imaging scans, researchers have found changes in executive attention, decision making, emotional processing, and cognitive control in the brains of those with an internet addiction disorder. Brain regions involved in executive control showed decreased grey matter volume and reduced cortical thickness. Scientists also find that white matter in the brains of people with internet addiction becomes impaired. Thus, connections between the two hemispheres of the brain become compromised. Individuals with IA had a larger hippocampus and amygdala compared to healthy individuals as well.

Furthermore, people with internet addiction show lower dopamine transporter levels, which help with the reuptake of the chemical into the presynaptic neuron. So, even though the addiction increases dopamine levels, it impairs the functioning of the dopaminergic brain system overall. Researchers have found similar dysfunction in the brains of those with substance abuse disorder.

4 – Internet addiction disorder negatively alters the physical structure of the brain.

Internet gaming or other behaviors increases the frequency of dopamine release, much like taking drugs or engaging in other addictive activities. However, it leads to the lower dopamine transporter and dopamine D2 receptor occupancy, which shows an insufficient sensitivity in dopamine reward mechanisms.

In other words, it takes much more dopamine to feel good in an internet-addicted brain in comparison to a normal brain. Addictions such as the internet or gaming, also impair executive neuronal circuitry, which helps us achieve goals and sustain motivation. So, IAD disrupts the parts of the brain associated with rewards, goals, and decision-making.

As you can see, internet addiction poses a serious threat to our mental health, not to mention the toll it takes on our physical health. Many people who engage in heavy internet use lead sedentary lifestyles because it seems easier and more rewarding to attain dopamine this way.

Working out and eating healthy also releases feel-good chemicals, but the results take more time and effort to achieve. In the addicted brain, activities that lead to a fast release of neurochemicals, such as gaming, doing drugs, drinking alcohol, etc., seem far more alluring.

If you struggle with internet addiction, use the following tips to help you overcome it:

Monitor the time you spend online. If you have an iPhone, for instance, it comes with a built-in mechanism that tells you how much time you spend online each day. You can also put limits on certain apps so that you don’t overuse them.
Have hobbies that you enjoy. Do not scroll for hours online to fill the time or distract yourself. Instead, spend your time doing something you truly enjoy. You may even meet others by doing a social activity. Think of attending a class at the gym or get involved in volunteering.
Only use the internet when you need it. The online world should serve as a tool to make our lives easier. For instance, looking up a recipe or using our phone to help us navigate to a new destination. That usage constitutes good use of this technology.

Final thoughts on overcoming an internet addiction disorder

As with anything in life, we shouldn’t overuse technology. It can certainly help us in many facets of life. But it becomes a problem when we rely on the virtual world to alleviate stresses or escape from daily life. Researchers have found that heavy internet use can alter the reward centers in our brains. This trigger makes us need more and more online activity to feel better.

It can also change the structure of our brains and exacerbate already existing mental disorders. If you want to use the internet, make sure to do it conscientiously. And fill your life with other rewarding activities as well.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

You feel a connection with them you’ve never had before.

You can see a future with them.

You speak the same language.

They make you feel safe.

You feel that the challenges you face make you stronger as a couple.

Everything works.

Your friends and family approve of your soulmate, too.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!