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Dietitians Share 15 Foods That Help You Melt Away Waist Fat

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Stubborn areas like your thighs, hips, and waist, require a bit more work to get rid of the fat. While there is no food that Mother Nature has created that can melt fat away magically, there are amazing superfoods that can speed up the process.

You may be surprised by making a few simple alterations to your diet. Additionally, adding some healthy foods daily can make a world of difference. Here are 15 foods that everyone should be eating to unleash your body’s fat-melting power.

15 Foods That Help Trim Your Waist

Try these fifteen foods to keep a trimmer waistline. By replacing higher fat content foods with these healthier options, you’ll be on your way to improved fitness.

1. Hazelnuts

Everyone has go-to snacks that they like to keep on hand. Hazelnuts should be one snack that you keep close by. First, they are loaded with anti-inflammatory properties as well as monounsaturated fats. Second, they are high in antioxidants that can help with your heart health.

If you’re enamored with Nutella, skip this sugar-laden treat, and make a natural version. It will help fill your stomach, melt the fat away, and keep you fuller for longer. Plus, with a lower sugar option, you won’t need to feel guilty when eating it.

2. Sweet Potatoes

If you’re sad about giving up regular potatoes to lose weight, you might want to try the sweet variety. Sweet potatoes are full of fiber that helps to keep you fuller for a longer period. When you’re full, you are less likely to snack.

One of the best things about these spuds is that they are full of carotenoids, which is a big help to weight loss. You will be thrilled to know that they have the highest level of carotenoids of all vegetables, which means that you can eat these sweet potatoes and lose more weight.

3. Greek Yogurt

Greek yogurt is all the rage these days. It’s a thicker version of traditional yogurt, but the health benefits don’t go unnoticed. First, this yogurt is packed with protein.

Additionally, the amino acids in this dairy product trigger the hormones in your body that help burn fat and reduce your appetite. It’s one of the products that prove the gut-brain connection exists, which only helps your waist.

4. Dark Chocolate

Why is milk chocolate and dark chocolate so different? Well, the sugar content in the darker version is drastically reduced. Plus, the dark chocolate can create a fatty acid that reduces your inflammation. When the inflammation is gone, your body will naturally start burning fat.

5. Cinnamon

Research is just coming to light about the amazing properties of cinnamon. It’s a great spice that can be mixed in with your morning coffee, oats, pancakes, or anything else you can think of. Did you know that some people even put this flavor in their chili?

Cinnamon is a spice that can heat the body. When you increase the core temperature a tiny bit, it speeds up your metabolism. If you want to burn those stubborn fat cells and jumpstart your weight loss, you can begin by looking in your spice rack.

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6. Spinach

There was a reason why Popeye ate so much spinach. He knew the dark, leafy greens were high in protein and low in calories, but he had no clue it was high in thylakoids.

What are thylakoids? Well, they are a mineral compound that helps to keep you satisfied and avoid binge eating. Plus, it can help you lose weight because you will be fuller for longer periods. Say goodbye to your love handles and that horrible “spare tire” around your waist.

7. Tomatoes

Can tomatoes affect your waist? You can use tomatoes to make a sauce, on sandwiches, and even eat them like an apple. However, a Japanese research program found that these red beauties activate DNA in your body that is responsible for weight loss and fat burning.

The next time you make tacos, scrambled eggs, or just about anything, why not add a heaping, helping of tomatoes to the mix?

8. Red Wine

Just like red grapes, drinking red wines have many body benefits. If you drink a glass of wine every night, not only are you helping your heart, but you’re also increasing your body’s fat-burning abilities. Who doesn’t like a nice glass of red wine anyway?

9. Avocados

What is it about these green fruits that seem to ramp your weight loss? Researchers say it’s the monosaturated fats that kick your body’s fat-burning abilities into high gear. One of the other benefits of eating avocados is that they are very filling due to their high fiber content.

If you eat a whole one, you probably won’t feel the need to snack or eat another meal for several hours. The avocado is very versatile and can be used to make many things, including desserts.

10. Beans

Remember the old song “Beans, beans, good for your heart?” Well, they are good for your heart, but they are great for that stubborn fat too. The key factor of beans that helps with weight loss is the protein and fiber content.

Another positive thing about these legumes is that they have been a significant part of free radical research worldwide. A study conducted found that they have a nutritional intervention that is much needed during the weight loss process. The study showed that you need to eat at least four servings a week to boost your fat-burning abilities.

11. Blueberries

The blueberry is one of the smallest fruits around. However, this little blue wonder is packed with antioxidants. A study was done that found that people who want to melt fat should turn to the blueberry.

These fruits can help you reduce your total cholesterol levels, melt away abdominal fat, and decrease your entire body weight. It’s easy to find ways to incorporate blueberries into your day. They go great in some yogurt, a smoothie, a dish of oatmeal, or a snack.

12. Green Tea

The fat-melting properties of green tea have long been known. A study showed that drinking green tea or taking an extract before a workout session will burn weight faster than a session without the tea.

What makes this tea such a fat-melting wonder? The EGCG is the compound in this elixir that helps increase the oxidation process of your fat. So, drink up and watch the weight melt away.

13. Hot Peppers

Latin communities enjoy spice in their foods. Shockingly, you don’t see a bunch of overweight people in these regions of the world. The reason is that the spice helps to burn fat and improve your waist.

One of the foods that can help you in your weight loss quest is spicy hot peppers. You can burn not only excess calories but also your fat storage. Just make sure you keep some antacids on hand if you’re not used to eating spicy dishes.

14. Pomegranate

Pomegranates weren’t prevalent in the states until about a decade ago. Their popularity has exploded as people see they have amazing taste and fat-burning properties. The International Journal of Obesity did a study on this fruit to see how it affected fat.

Using mice, they found that those who had a diet rich in these fruits had a lower risk of cardiovascular issues and decreased obesity.

15. Red Grapes

You’ve always heard that red grapes are good for your heart health, but did you know that these little gems have resveratrol in them that can help to melt fat away? It’s easy to add grapes to your diet as they can be in chicken or an iceberg salad, eaten as a snack, or put in a smoothie.

The more you eat, the more assistance you will have in breaking down fatty deposits. Who would think a sweet treat could have so many benefits for your body?

Final Thoughts on Eating Foods That Help You Shed Fat From the Waist

You’ve probably heard over the years that you are what you eat. When you eat a poor diet that is unhealthy and full of fat and carbohydrates, you can expect to have a larger waist and an unflattering figure.

Then, some people aren’t eating a horrible diet, but they are eating all the wrong things. They need to find foods that will heal the body and move it into the fat-burning mode. Almost everyone has some fat storage that they need to get rid of, but it’s not always an easy task.

These 15 foods are just a few of the superfoods that you need to add to your diet. Some people approach dieting all wrong. They want to change everything and eat foods that they don’t like. The only problem with this method is that people don’t stick with these alterations long term.

If you genuinely want to reduce your waist, lose weight, and feel great, you need to find healthy foods that you love, and that can easily be incorporated into your daily meal plan.

6 Stretches That Can Help Heal Scoliosis

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Your back is one of the most phenomenal feats of biological engineering globally. It’s responsible for providing flexibility and mobility, but its complex system of stacked bones and cartilage protects your spinal cord. You only get one back, so it’s essential to take care of it the best you can. And if you have scoliosis, you know the discomfort firsthand.

The spine finds its way into the idioms of most cultures worldwide. When you are brave, people say that you have a strong backbone. Those cowards have no backbone or a weak spine. Perhaps this comparison arises because your back keeps your body standing straight, tall, and strong.

When your back is injured or diseased, it affects your entire body. One of the most common back disorders is scoliosis. Maybe you are among the estimated six million people who’ve been diagnosed with this back disorder in America every year. The more you know about the condition, the more you can do to treat the symptoms.

What is Scoliosis?

Scoliosis is also known as a spinal curvature that can present in different ways. It comes from the Greek word scoliosis, which means bent. The Ancient Greek physicians Hippocrates and Galen were the first to describe spinal curvature as a disorder and theories for its causes and treatment.

While these early doctors were the first to identify scoliosis in medical terms, archeologists have noted abnormal spine curvatures for thousands of years old remains.

Are People Born with Scoliosis, or Is It Acquired?

•From Birth or Hereditary?

People can be diagnosed with one of three different types of curvatures. Yes, a genetic malformation at birth can cause you to have it, and this type is called congenital. In these cases, the healthcare professionals see the spinal abnormalities and can make an early diagnosis.

•Idiopathic

When healthcare specialists can’t pinpoint the cause of a disease or disorder, they usually describe it as idiopathic, meaning an unknown cause. For most people diagnosed with spinal curvature, neither congenital nor traumatic carry the blame. Idiopathic is the most common form of spinal curvature, and its signs usually develop in later childhood and teen years.

•Neuromuscular

The third type of spinal curvature may result from primary disorders of the spine like cerebral palsy or spina bifida. This category also includes having an abnormally curved spine due to a traumatic injury. Those diagnosed with this type will often see a quick progression of symptoms that usually require surgical intervention.

•Upper or Lower Spinal Curvatures

The abnormal curvature of your spine may be prominent in different areas. Some people have a curve in their lower back, called lumbar spine curvature. When the upper back is affected, it’s called thoracic spine curvature. Both can be painful and problematic when doing daily activities.

What are the Signs and Symptoms of Scoliosis?

Although your spine does have a natural curve, one of the tell-tell signs of scoliosis is an unnatural spinal curvature. It puts the entire body out of line and can make everyday activities difficult or painful. Here are some other signs and symptoms to look for.

Your head is off-center from above your pelvis.
Your hips are out of line, raised, or crooked.
You notice an uneven waist.
Your body seems like it is leaning toward one side.
The bones of your rib cage are uneven.
You notice a change in the texture or appearance of the skin covering your spine.

Some of these signs and symptoms will vary and may be more pronounced in individuals who’ve been diagnosed. If you notice any of these issues, discuss them with your primary healthcare provider as soon as possible. Early diagnosis can mean a big difference in your prognosis.

Stretches that Heal Scoliosis

While medical researchers continue to study and implement better techniques for treating a curved spine, there remains no cure for the disorder. Most people with a spinal curvature have felt better with physical therapy, exercise, braces, and sometimes surgery.

Have you been diagnosed with scoliosis, and your healthcare specialist has recommended exercise as part of your care plan? Although exercising isn’t a cure, some techniques may inhibit further curvature and minimize muscle and joint pain. Yoga-inspired stretching serves as a low-impact regime for people with spinal curvature.

You also don’t need special equipment, and you can do them in the comfort and privacy of your own home. On a beautiful day, you may want to do your stretching exercises in the great outdoors. Talk to your healthcare professional about adding these six stretches to your treatment regime.

1. Abdominal Stretch

To take undue stress from your back due to an abnormal curvature, building your abdominal muscles can help. For comfort, consider doing these stretches on a slip-resistant exercise mat.

How to Do It:

Lie flat on your back. You might find it more comfortable to place a pillow under the lower back to support your neck. Raise your legs and bend them at a 90-degree angle, allowing your feet to rest against the chair’s seat. Rest your palms flat against your knees.

Now, gently push your hands against your knees while pushing your knees slightly forward until you feel pressure in your abdominal muscles. Hold this position while breathing for 3 seconds, relax, then repeat. Do two sets of 10 reps.

2. Classic Leg Lifts

Do you remember this essential exercise from gym class? Leg lifts improve strength in your hips, behind, and lower legs, but they can also strengthen your spinal muscles. It’s a stretching exercise with many benefits.

How to Do It:

Lie comfortably on your floor mat and allow your hands to relax palms down at each side. Hold your legs together and lift them as high as you comfortably can. Hold this position for 3-5 breaths and lower them to first. Do 10-15 reps.

3. Standing Tall

Wouldn’t it be great if all exercises and stretches were this easy? It may not require strenuous movement, but standing tall gives your body a good stretch and encourages you to maintain a good spine-healthy posture.

How to Do It:

Stand straight on your mat with your feet together and your arms hanging naturally at your side. Allow your shoulders to drop down and back, and ensure that your ears are aligned over your shoulders. Keep your chin tucked slightly in without being too far out or down. Let your knees be slightly unlocked and hold in your stomach slightly.

4. Side Tilts

Whether you have thoracic or lumbar spinal curvature, these easy exercises can stretch the side muscles that support your back. Stretch only to the point where you are comfortable because it shouldn’t be painful for you.

How to Do It:

Stand flat on your mat as if you were standing tall. Your knees should be slightly bent, and your feet should be shoulder-width apart. Now, lift your hands over your head and gently hold your left wrist with your right hand. Tilt gently to the left until you feel a comfortably tight stretch in your body’s right side.

Practice mindful breathing for two breaths, then use your right foot to push your body into the first position. Reverse the hands and do a stretch for your left side. Do 10-15 reps with rest in between, if you need it.

5. Bird-Dog

You may recognize this stretch inspired by classic yoga poses if you’re a yoga enthusiast. The Bird-Dog is also beneficial to your hips, legs, and upper back.

How to Do It:

For the first position, go to your hands and knees on your exercise mat and keep your back as straight as possible. Your hands should be aligned under your shoulders and knees under your hips, as in a dog pose in yoga.

Now, stretch your right arm straight out while extending your left leg straight out backward. Hold the position for at least 5 seconds and return to the first position. Repeat these steps with your right arm and your left leg. Do 10-15 reps for each side.

6. Arm & Leg Raises

This fun exercise combines the benefits of classic leg lifts while lifting the arms. Instead of being on your back, you will be on your tummy. Your entire back gets a workout.

How to Do It:

Lie flat on your belly with your head tilted up slightly, facing forward. Stretch your hands out with your palms flat, and extend your legs somewhat with your tiptoes resting on the mat.

While inhaling and exhaling, raise your right hand and left leg off the ground, then hold for five breaths. Relax and repeat for your left hand and right leg. Do at least 10-15 reps.

Final Thoughts on Using Stretches to Help Heal Scoliosis

Before you perform these or any exercises for scoliosis, talk to your healthcare specialist first. If you experience any pain, stop exercising at once and rest. Making these beneficial exercises part of your daily regimen may help minimize abnormal spinal curvature symptoms.

Psychology Reveals 7 Traits of a Stubborn Person

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

We often think of being stubborn as a negative trait, but being a little hard-headed comes in handy sometimes. It helps you stand your ground and not give in to people out of peer pressure or guilt. It does pay to compromise in certain situations, but you also have to know when to stand firm with people.

No matter how you feel about stubbornness, new research shows that this personality trait might actually help you live longer! A study by the University of California San Diego School of Medicine and the University of Rome La Sapienza sought to find a connection between certain personality traits and longevity. Twenty-nine individuals aged 90-101 from remote rural villages in Italy participated in the study. At the conclusion of the study, the scientists confirmed that the group had better mental health overall than their younger family members aged 51-75, even though their physical health was worse.

The group had a few key traits in common, including a stubborn streak, a hearty work ethic, healthy relationships with family, an optimistic attitude, and a life close to nature. Researchers believe that being stubborn helped participants care less about what others thought of them, which in turn lowered their mental stress. This mental fortitude and unyielding disposition aided them greatly in keeping a positive outlook on life.

“We also found that this group tended to be domineering, stubborn, and needed a sense of control…” study co-author Anna Scelzo stated in a press release from UC San Diego Health,

“This tendency to control the environment suggests notable grit that is balanced by a need to adapt to changing circumstances.”

So, as you can see, being stubborn does pay off! Below, we’ll go over some of the critical traits of a stubborn person. Because having a lot of pride does come with its downsides. Thus, we will talk about some of the challenges stubborn people face as well.

“You don’t stay undefeated without being a little stubborn.” ~Andre Ward

Psychology reveals seven traits of a stubborn person:

They have a strong will.

Stubborn people never hesitate to follow through with something they genuinely believe in. If they have a vision, they will accomplish their goals, come hellfire, or high water. This mental vigor pays off because you can’t reach your destination if you have fears about even leaving the driveway. In other words, having pride enables you to stay consistent with your dreams and keep the momentum going even when you reach setbacks.

Having a strong will may come from facing challenging situations in childhood. People who have a lot of struggles early on in life may have a greater appreciation for hard work and will walk the extra mile to achieve their dreams. Those who have nothing to lose and everything to gain know all too well how it feels to stare up that mountain from the very bottom. However, the climb makes the journey worth it.

Those who have unshakable willpower don’t let life stand in their way, and they don’t cave easily under pressure. This segues into our next point.

Stubborn people have a lot of resilience.

Those who have a lot of pride feel that they must do everything on their own. Nothing got handed to them in life, and they know if they want something, they will have to work for it. However, no challenge intimidates or scares away a stubborn person. They have the drive and indomitable will to shape reality how they see fit.

They will work 16 hour days if they have to in order to accomplish their goals. A stubborn person may seem intimidating when you first meet them, but they don’t allow others’ opinions to ruffle their feathers. They have much larger fish to fry, so they just keep their eyes on the prize.

They won’t sway their opinion just because of peer pressure.

A stubborn person won’t cave in an argument just because no one agrees with them. They’ll make their points, have evidence to back them up, and stand their ground even if no one stands with them. While some people will just go with the herd because it feels comfortable, a person with pride doesn’t let the groupthink mentality affect them.

No matter the topic, stubborn people bring a lot of fire to a discussion, expanding the minds of everyone in the room. Although, they sometimes have a difficult time admitting when they’re wrong, so it doesn’t always go both ways. Their inflexible personality can often cause disharmony in the lives of stubborn people because they don’t like to admit defeat or error.

If they can keep an open mind during discussions, it will help them greatly in both the workplace and their home life.

Stubborn people have a passionate attitude about life.

Because stubborn people don’t like to back down from a challenge, they have a lot of passion and vigor for life. Nothing seems off-limits or impossible for them because of their willpower and determination to get things done. Stubborn people often excel in the following careers due to their hard-headed disposition, according to research from study.com:

wholesale and manufacturing sales representative
retail sales worker
management analyst
human resources manager
police officer

These jobs require a lot of social interaction, but they also cater to people who have a lot of pride in their skills and ability to accomplish a task. For these reasons, you might consider careers in these fields if you have a particular personality type.

Here are ways you can end arguments with your partner.

They usually have a good work ethic.

Stubborn people have high standards for themselves and enjoy getting the job done, no matter what it might entail. They typically do better working alone because of their sometimes combative nature, but if they can tone it down a notch, working in groups doesn’t present a problem. Having pride in one’s work only becomes a problem when people trample on others or don’t consider their opinions.

So, if the person in question can learn to listen attentively to others and try to understand their perspective, they will have no trouble working in a group setting. Being stubborn can sometimes pay off when working with others because these types of people have a willingness to do tedious tasks that others may cringe at.

They may resist change.

Stubborn people often have excellent resistance to change because they like to follow the status quo. Because of this inflexibility, this might just be their downfall. Life changes constantly, so it pays to have an open mind and a willingness to go with the flow. Stubborn people will have to work on their rigid way of living if they want to reach their potential truly.

Stubborn people sometimes like to argue to prove a point.

Not backing down in a discussion is one thing, but having a lot of pride sometimes means instigating arguments just for the sake of it. Stubborn people have an insatiable need to be right, and they see arguing as a fun pastime. Beware if you cross a stubborn person with a lot of time on their hands because they might just start hitting you with heavy topics, like religion, politics, or gun control.

They may not mean to cause any discord, but they genuinely see discussions as a means of expanding one’s mind and seeing the world from another perspective. So, they may not realize they’re overstepping boundaries if others don’t enjoy arguing as they do. Perhaps they’d enjoy a career as a lawyer for this reason as well because a right amount of debating goes on in the courtroom.

Ways to deal with a stubborn person:

Walk away for a bit to breathe. Sometimes, you just need some space to cool off before you can deal with any problems. If the two of you just can’t see eye-to-eye, you might want to walk away before things get too heated. This way, you can circle back to the issue with a clear head.
Try to understand their side. Perhaps they’ve had to defend themselves from a young age and just don’t know how to communicate well. Try to understand where they’re coming from before writing them off as merely impossible to deal with.
Attempt to compromise. Stubborn people and compromise don’t usually appear in the same sentence. However, any rational, mature person would want to see things from another’s perspective. Try to arrive at a middle ground with them, as long as they seem open to discussing it.

Final thoughts on traits of a stubborn person

If you have a stubborn person in your life, you know the difficulties you face in dealing with them. They may seem argumentative and stuck in their ways, but they have their positive traits as well. Being stubborn means not backing down from challenges, having a strong work ethic, standing up for yourself, and having a lot of passion. These traits can take someone far in life as long as their hardheadedness doesn’t get the best of them.

Psychology Explains Why Holding a Grudge Causes Excess Stress

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Everyone has been hurt or wronged by someone, but holding a grudge and being unforgiving doesn’t help you feel better. Quite the opposite, however, as it will only make you feel worse. Whether it is a family member, a co-worker, a significant other, or a friend, it is never an easy situation.

You may be left with negative feelings such as anger, bitterness, vengeance, sadness, confusion, or hatred. These feelings aren’t helping you or the situation, however, and should be addressed immediately. While you may think that harboring these feelings is harmless, psychologists now prove that this isn’t the case.

When you hold on to a grudge and let the negative feelings linger, you’re only causing yourself more harm. You will be holding yourself back from experiencing peace, hope, and joy. Plus, you’ll be bringing more stress to yourself.

Not only will you be bringing stress to yourself, but you will also be bringing negativity to all aspects of your life. The way you are feeling will eventually cause problems, and those closest to you may feel it. Your energy will show what you are feeling, no matter how much you try to hide it.

The Reasons Holding a Grudge Causes Excess Stress

When you hold a grudge and continue to harbor negative feelings, the stress it causes can be serious. You’ll notice your heart rate increase, a rise in your blood pressure, and a tightening in your muscles. These are signs that your body is experiencing excess stress and it will only get worse if you are unforgiving.

Being stressed can cause memory problems, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, and sometimes it can cause serious health conditions. If you are holding a grudge and notice these symptoms, it’s likely caused by stress due to the negativity. There are many ways that this can cause excess stress, and knowing these reasons can help you reverse it.

Research shows that when you hold a grudge, you continue to rehearse painful memories from your past. Each time this happens, it brings back the negative feelings that you associate with the situation. Each time, the stress it causes will be worsened until it turns into something more serious, such as depression.

Other reasons that holding a grudge can cause excess stress are as follows:

Can Cause Anger or Bitterness in a New Relationship

When you are harboring negative feelings, they will be reflected in other relationships. Those feelings will show, no matter how well you try to hide them. Eventually, they will begin causing anger and bitterness in a relationship that had nothing to do with the situation.

To stop allowing the feelings to interfere with your other relationships, you have to let go of them. You can only do this by forgiving the person who wronged you.

You Are Not Able to Enjoy the Present

As the negative feelings pile up, you’ll notice you aren’t as present as you used to be. Your mind will be preoccupied with the negativity, and you won’t be able to enjoy what is happening right now. Don’t let the actions or words of someone else affect the joy you could be feeling.

Grudges Might Make You Depressed or Anxious

The longer you hold on to the negativity and pain, the more likely you are to experience depression or anxiety. Even if you don’t realize it, these feelings will keep piling up until you aren’t sure how to handle it anymore. It can cause problems with your hormones, and it can have a huge negative impact on your mental health.

You May Feel as if Your Life Lacks Purpose

When you are harboring these feelings, you are making yourself believe that your life lacks purpose. Even if you don’t realize that this is what you are doing, it is happening. This is because you are so focused on what happened and how it made you feel that it becomes all-consuming.

You will eventually forget about how meaningful your life is because you’ll be so angry and hurt. The things that you will notice in your life are the ones that reflect how you are feeling. So, if you are feeling hostile, you’ll start to notice more hostility around you.

Since your environment is a product of your mood, it hugely impacts your life. To avoid this and to remember your purpose in life, you have to forgive the person who hurt you. Then, you will be able to refocus on the things and people that truly matter.

Could Lose Connections with Others

As the negative feelings take over your life, you may lose connections with other people that you care about. The feelings may cause you to push people away so that you can be alone to wallow. Even if you don’t push people away on purpose, the negative energy you will be carrying around may do it.

What is Forgiveness?

While it is different for everyone, forgiveness involves letting go of resentment. It means that you have to stop feeling like you have to get revenge. You will have to make a conscious decision to stop harboring negative feelings and thinking of revenge.

It’s not likely that you will ever forget what was said or done to you, even with forgiveness. By forgiving, however, you can start to regain control of your life and feelings. You will also be able to feel empathy, compassion, and understanding for the person who wronged you.

Ultimately, forgiveness is a way to bring peace to yourself. It helps you move on positively and let go of any negative feelings you are still experiencing. Additionally, it helps you focus on the positives in your life instead of consuming your thoughts with the situation.

The Benefits of Forgiveness

When you forgive someone, you will be benefitting yourself more than you will be helping them. By forgiving those who have wronged you, you will be allowing yourself to experience:

-healthy relationships

-less stress and anxiety

-an increase in self-esteem

-lower blood pressure and improved heart health

-better mental health

-fewer depression symptoms

How You Can Begin to Forgive

Forgiveness happens differently for everyone. You must decide on the process you will take on your own, but some ideas may help you.

First, you have to realize how beneficial forgiveness is to your life. Then, determine who it is that needs to be forgiven and what they need to be forgiven for.

You have to acknowledge how the person made you feel, and make a note of how this affects you. If you don’t do this part, it will be nearly impossible for you to release your feelings. You can then make a conscious decision to forgive those who have hurt you.

If you still can’t bring yourself to forgive them, you may consider seeing a counselor. There are also support groups you could look for to help you through the process.

Once you’ve made some progress, stop viewing yourself as a victim. While the way you felt will never be forgotten, you have to stop feeling like a victim to fully move on. This way, you will be taking back control of your own life and you will notice a feeling of relief.

Some other ideas for beginning to forgive someone include:

-practicing empathy by seeing the situation from their perspective

-consider how you would have reacted if you were them in that situation

-think about the times you have hurt someone you love, and consider if they forgave you

-write about the situation and feeling in a journal

-meditate

-speak with someone you trust and can rely on

Does Forgiveness Mean You Will Have to Continue the Relationship?

While forgiveness oftentimes repairs a relationship and allows for reconciliation, that isn’t always the way it works out. Sometimes, you might not even want to resume the relationship. In this case, forgiveness is still important so that you can move on and let go of negative feelings.

Forgiveness is personal and doesn’t always require a face-to-face conversation. It can happen within yourself, and no one else will even have to know. This is how you will likely want to handle it if you can’t or don’t want to reconcile with them.

Final Thoughts on Psychology Explains Why Holding a Grudge Causes Excess Stress

The excess stress that is caused by holding a grudge can cause many problems in your life, as described above. You have to consciously decide to stop letting things that have happened control and define your life. Being unforgiving will only cause you more problems than forgiving the person would cause.

Holding grudges is more detrimental to you than to those you are holding them against. You can’t continue letting them win and control your feelings, so you have to forgive.

Even if you can’t forget what was said or done to you, you can still make a personal choice to forgive. Then, you will be able to move on with your life and focus on all the things that matter.

Hospice Nurses Reveal 5 Regrets That People Make on Their Deathbeds

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

You probably don’t sit around thinking much about death. Not many people do. But some nurses come face to face with death every day. They hear a great deal of dying people’s regrets. Rarely do nurses hear a dying person express sorrow over their living room color choices or the kind of car they drove. Their deathbed regrets are usually closer to the heart than this.

Hospice workers are often the last people to interact with the dying in their final moments. Here, hospice nurses reveal some of the musings of people who are making that transition.

What are the Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed?

Here are some of the revelations that people make as they slip from the universe and into their next destination.

1 – Dying people have family regrets

One of the top regrets expressed by people on their deathbeds has to do with their family members. Dying people frequently wish they had spent more time with their kids, or their wife, or their siblings or their parents.

According to palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware, they wish they spent more of their time on family vacations instead of working all the time. They wish they had gone to visit their siblings in another state instead of making the excuse that it was too far away. These regrets are heartbreaking because many times, the people who need to hear these expressed regrets aren’t around anymore. Or if they are still around, by now, the relationships are so broken that these last-minute regrets sound hollow to them. Family relationships are always messy, but when you don’t value your family, it gets even messier, and it ends up in endless regrets.

Lesson learned:

The take away from this regret, of course, is that you don’t need to end up with these regrets on your death bed. Learn from what nurses say is the most common regret shared by their dying patients. Value your family, take time off work to go on that family vacation or to play with your kids.

Visit your siblings in another state, even if it’s expensive and inconvenient. Be the one who initiates instead of waiting for the other person. Give your family your time and energy now while you still can so that in the end, you will have a free and clear conscience. You won have regrets because you did the best you could to make your family feel loved by you.

2 – People on their deathbed wish they had been a better person

It’s often not until it’s too late that people wish they had been nicer people. It’s weird how they don’t think about it until it’s really too late to do anything. Perhaps they wish they’d been a kinder, more patient, and more loving person. They may apologize for their bad behavior towards their kids or wife for their failures. It brings them peace knowing their family heard their confession, but for the family, it’s often too little, too late. The years of being kinder, patient, and gentle are lost.

Some dying patients also express that they listened to their doctor and followed better health habits before it became too late. Nurse Jaime Lynn notes on Quora that this regret is prevalent among drug addicts and alcoholics in their final hours.

Lesson learned:

You never hear someone complain about their parent or spouse being too kind or too loving. “If my wife would just stop being such a caring person, I’d be much happier in my marriage,” will never be said. Sadly, you typically hear the opposite being said. It’s never too late to begin being the kindest, most loving person you can be. Today could be the day you begin to love your family members more. Perhaps you need to apologize to someone. Today is as ideal a day as any to do it. Don’t wait until you’re dying to say you love your kids or wife.

3 – People wish they had taken more risks

Hospice advocate Jaime Garrison mentions on Quora that some patients on their deathbed express regret over the things they didn’t do.

As people age, they often reminisce about what their life could have been. What f they had taken that overseas job, or went to medical school? They have lots of time to sit around to think and to wish they’d done some things differently. They regret not making some decisions.

Maybe they were dissuaded by their parents, who thought that risk-taking wasn’t wise. Or they were afraid of the unknown. These regrets are heard by nurses all the time. It’s sad because there’s nothing to be said except to reassure the dying person that they did their best they could at the time. No one gets a second go-around in life; no one gets a do-over.

Lesson learned:

It’s hard to know when you’re in the middle of making a decision whether you will wish you’d done things differently later on. You weigh all the options, but making decisions isn’t a clear cut process every time. All you can do is to decide what seems right at the moment. If you’re making your decisions based on what you see and feel is right at the moment, you shouldn’t feel regret.

Evaluate your decision-making process. Are there things you’re not doing because of fear of taking a risk? Is there something you’d like to learn or do, but you’ve been putting it off? Take a tip from these dying people’s regrets. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Do that thing you’ve been dreaming about. If you fail, so what? Failure is not the worst thing that can happen in your life. Don’t be afraid to take risks. You will be glad you did when you’re older. You don’t want to be that person on your death bed full of regrets about all the what-ifs in your life.

4 – They missed opportunities to express their feelings

Drying people frequently have loose tongues. All at once, they are open about their feelings as well as regrets. Perhaps it’s their medication doing it, but they suddenly wish they’d expressed their pent-up feelings to their loved ones. Sometimes people fear being honest with their family members, or they just don’t know how to express themselves. Some people are raised to keep feelings inside.

Whatever the reason, deathbeds are like confessionals. The dying have important things they want to say, and oftentimes, it’s just the nurses around to hear them. They want to share all the things they neglected to say for decades. Nurses can comfort these patients by telling them they did the best they could. But this won’t erase their regrets.

Lesson learned:

It’s always better to say something than to hold your feelings inside. Not being honest about your feelings never helps anyone. Honestly, sharing your feelings doesn’t give you a license to vent your anger at people. It simply means you honestly but gently share how you honestly feel.

Maybe you’ve been disappointed that your friends or family didn’t support you through an especially difficult time in your life. Or perhaps there is someone in your life who you appreciate, but you’ve never expressed it to them to their face. Being open about your feelings can result in deeper, stronger relationships with people. Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed! Go ahead and express your feelings now.

5 – People on their deathbed wish they could offer forgiveness of an old wrong

People often carry old grievances well into their elderly years. Injustices, whether real or perceived by family members or friends, embitter their hearts and minds. It’s often not until they become sick on their deathbeds that they begin to view these grievances in a new light. Maybe cutting off that relationship wasn’t worth the pain? What if they had forgiven that person? Would they feel this regret?

Lesson learned:

Nurses say that dying patients say time and again that they wished they had forgiven someone. It’s one of the top five regrets these nurses hear. The lesson here, of course, is to consider your own relationships. Is there a person or people you need to forgive? Could you take the first step in healing a broken friendship? We can all learn from dying people’s regrets about forgiveness. You can work hard not to have this same kind of regret in your life.

Final Thoughts on Learning Lessons from People on Their Deathbeds

Rarely do you hear that someone’s dying regrets had anything to do with what their house looked like or what kind of clothes they wore? The importance of material things fades away when you are close to death. You have regrets about people in your life, rather than the things in your life. Your lingering thoughts and regrets drift to how you lived your life and who you loved and cared for.

The lesson learned from this list of five regrets is that life is short. Love your family and those around you the best you can. Take risks when appropriate; don’t fear failing.

Be a forgiving, kindhearted person. No one will ever complain about that. And last of all, say what you’re feeling instead of repressing it. Be generous in sharing your feelings of love and care for people. You’ll never have regrets about that.

The lessons learned from these dying patents’ lips should motivate you in how you live your life so that someday when you are in their position, you’ll be regret-free.

10 Signs Your Best Friend is Your Soul Sister

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you have a soul sister, consider yourself lucky! Indeed, not everyone gets to experience such a special friendship in this lifetime. Soul sisters may not have grown up in the same family. However, they connect on such a deep level that it seems like they’ve known each other forever. You’ll find that no friendship compares to the one you have with your soul sister. She will just “get” you, without you having to translate your soul.

In other words, you will speak the same language and feel that your hearts come from the same place. If you can find a best friend and soul sister in the same person, you’ll never have to feel misunderstood or alone in this life anymore. This world can seem like an overwhelming, scary place at times. But having someone who will support you always, no matter what, makes the journey so much easier to bear.

So, if you have someone like this friend in your life, you’ll probably notice the following characteristics of your friendship.

10 Signs Your Best Friend is A Soul Sister

“Soul Sister – a female friend not related by blood who shares a bond that transcends time, distance, and space.”

1 – You feel like you’ve known them for lifetimes.

At the very beginning of your friendship, you’ll feel an overwhelming familiarity. It might feel you have met them somewhere before. You can’t quite explain it, but they just feel like a very old friend who you haven’t seen in a while. When you cross paths, it seems as if you’re picking up where you left off and not meeting as strangers for the first time. When you talk to them, you’ll notice that you don’t have to wear a mask, and you feel comfortable being your authentic self.

You’ll quickly realize this almost magnetic connection because it feels effortless and gives you a great sense of comfort. The conversation will come naturally because you speak the same soul language, and even if you sit in silence for a while, it won’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. Your connection with them seems very natural, and you’ll feel like you have many memories together.

2 – You have similar energy and personalities.

A soul sister will vibe and relate to you like no one else, and you won’t have to worry about your energy getting drained around them. You can talk with them for hours and never feel bored or tired of the conversation, and you never run out of topics to talk about. Both of you may have similar interests and thinking patterns, which makes it easy to understand each other. Your personalities also mesh well together, and you just enjoy being in their company or talking on the phone with them.

Even if you talk every day, you don’t feel suffocated by the friendship because they genuinely make your heart happy.

3 – It feels like you met them for an important reason.

Even if you don’t consider yourself a spiritual person, it feels like the universe had a special meaning for bringing you together. You may get this feeling right when you meet them as if they’re an essential piece of your puzzle somehow. Soul connections don’t just happen randomly. Perhaps they’ve come to teach you a soul lesson or help you along your journey somehow. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but you know this friendship feels different than the others in your life, and you feel linked to them in some otherworldly way.

4 – You’ll feel comfortable talking about anything with your best friend.

It may feel as if you haven’t been truly seen or heard before you met your soul sister. From the beginning of your friendship, you’ve felt comfortable sharing some of your deepest secrets because you thought you could trust them early on. You know they’d never judge you or make you feel uncomfortable, so no topic of conversation is off the table.

You speak the same soul language also, so you just get each other without having to explain anything. Even if you come from varied backgrounds, you may find you’ve had similar life experiences, which help strengthen your understanding of one another and bring you closer together.

5 – They love and accept you as you are.

One of the best things about a soul sister is you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not or change anything about yourself to feel accepted. With your best friend, you can truly come as you are and not have to worry about living up to certain expectations. You can be vulnerable and real with them, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Meeting them will feel so refreshing to your soul because you’ll feel understood in a way you probably haven’t before.

6 – You consider them part of your family and would do anything for them.

You may not have known them for a long time in this life, but they’ve quickly become significant to you. You don’t even want to imagine life without them because your best friend brings such joy and comfort to your soul. While you might not be blood-related, you treat them as part of your family since you can always count on them for real support and guidance in life. They’re your ride or die for life, and you never have to wonder where you stand with them.

7 – Your soul sister brings out the best in you.

Some people believe that certain divine friendships help bring out real soul qualities, like selflessness, unconditional love, compassion, joy, and peace. If you notice these traits in each other, the universe may have brought you together to help your soul’s evolution. You look up to your best friend and feel lucky to have them in your life because of the amazing person they are. It feels like they want you to become your best self, and you wish the same for them.

8 – You met at a difficult time in each other’s lives.

A lot of soul friendships form during challenging times in life. That’s because the universe likes to send support when you need it the most. Also, if you have a similar karmic path as your soul sister, this could explain why you met at a certain point in each other’s journey. Your intuition might even urge you to talk to this person because the universe always sends precisely who you need at the right time.

Almost immediately, you felt like you could share the struggles in your life with them, and they helped you get through the dark days. A soul sister won’t turn her back on you when you need her the most, and because of this, she’s earned your trust. They uncanningly know exactly what to say to make you feel better, and you genuinely appreciate them for giving such unconditional love and support.

9 – You can have a good time just sitting around and talking.

You can just sit in each other’s companionship and not have to say much to have a good time. You don’t have to stress out about them getting bored around you since you have similar energy and don’t need constant conversation. Additionally, you also do not need to go out to a bunch of places to keep each other entertained, because you can have just as much fun doing nothing at all. These types of friendships where you can just relax and not have to worry about impressing anyone don’t happen often. If you should happen to be fortunate enough to find someone who understands your energy, you’ll probably never get tired of being around them.

10 – Talking to them, feels therapeutic in some way.

When you talk with them, your soul finally feels understood, and you don’t feel as alone anymore. With other friends or family, you might feel they just don’t get you or that you have to censor yourself in some way. With a soul sister, you can talk about your weirdest, darkest thoughts or feelings and not feel embarrassed or ashamed about them. The connection you have with them feels therapeutic and healing for your soul in a way you can’t quite explain, but you just know it deep down.

Final thoughts on signs your best friend is your soul sister

Every once in a lifetime, you might meet someone who feels so familiar and comforting to your soul that you know you’ve crossed paths before. A soul sister changes your life for the better because of the guidance and support they offer, and you can’t imagine life without them anymore. You will feel an overwhelming sense of pure joy and love when you meet them because of the strong bond you share across many lifetimes. They genuinely feel like a soulmate friend, and you connect with them in a way you haven’t with anyone else.

You feel a deep love and care for them, even if you haven’t known them for long in this life. If you have this soul connection in your life, you have truly been blessed by the universe.

Psychology Explains the Difference Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Motivation drives us to get out of bed every day to accomplish something important to us. These goals might involve work, school, or training for a marathon. We all have different reasons for choosing specific goals. And we are each driven by both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Below, we’ll break down the various definitions for you.

Intrinsic motivation – This mindset involves doing something because you get a personal reward out of it. Think of it as enjoyment or eagerness to learn a new skill.
Extrinsic motivation – doing something because of an external reward. Consider scenarios such as a raise at work or losing weight from exercising. You may also be extrinsically motivated to avoid punishment, such as losing your job or gaining weight from not exercising.

You can sum these up by saying that intrinsic motivation arises from within, while extrinsic motivation comes from influences outside oneself. By looking at these definitions, you might think that intrinsic motivation matters most. However, both of them have their importance in shaping our society. For example, if you only did what brought you happiness and joy, you wouldn’t have the drive to accomplish tasks at work which involve other people.

For example, you wouldn’t care about pleasing your boss or coworkers. That’s because you’d only pay attention to your desires.

So, we’ll delve a little further into the psychology behind motivation and the significant differences between both types of it.

The Differences Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Now that you know where each type of motivation comes from, let’s get into some more examples of both:

Intrinsic:

getting involves in sports or other hobbies that you enjoy
cleaning up your room because you like keeping it organized
studying a subject like astrophysics simply because you want to learn new things
exercising because it makes you feel better.

Extrinsic:

finishing your work because you don’t want to get fired,
taking on the extra workload at your job because you want a promotion
cleaning your room because you have guests coming over
studying a subject because you need to pass a test at school.

As you can see, we need both types of motivation in our society to keep it functioning correctly. If everyone only did things to please others or avoid punishment, we would lose what makes us human and act more like robots. However, if we only did whatever we wanted all the time, we couldn’t maintain the products and services that keep our society running. So, we should strive to maintain a reasonable balance between what makes us personally happy and what we need to accomplish for societal obligations.

How Each Type of Motivation Influences Behavior

Some studies have shown that offering too many rewards for a behavior that already gives intrinsic satisfaction can decrease internal motivation, otherwise known as the overjustification effect. For example, in this study involving 20-month olds, researchers found that their altruistic tendencies decreased when they were given too many external rewards, such as praise or toys. Another study found a similar outcome in those with intellectual and developmental disabilities, discovering that their intrinsic motivation decreased as external rewards increased.

Why does this phenomenon happen? According to the American Psychological Association, people tend to focus more on external rewards than internal satisfaction, despite their natural desire to do what makes them happy. Another factor influencing this behavior involves punishment or bribery. If people feel like they must do something out of fear or coercion, they will focus more on extrinsic motivation since they believe they have something to lose.

The studies:

Research also shows that if people get external reinforcement for doing a good job, the overjustification effect won’t have as much influence on them. For example, if you do well on a test because you studied for it, this won’t cause your internal motivation to decrease. Since your performance on the test depends on how hard you studied, getting a good grade drives your studying behavior. In the cases listed above with the children, the external motivation didn’t depend on their performance, so they lost their desire to keep up the behavior.

Another study found that parents should use moderation in giving their children praise. Children who receive praise for their efforts in completing a task rather than for their inherent talents or personality traits believe that success depends on how hard they work, not how smart they are. Children who develop this mindset also tend to persist in the face of struggles. That’s because they know that hard work will carry them through tough times. If children just believe that intelligence matters, they won’t have the external motivation to keep going in the face of adversity.

This makes sense because every parent wants to believe their child possesses some unique or otherworldly personality trait or intellect, which will get them ahead in the world. However, the research consistently shows that children have more success when their parents raise them to work harder for whatever they want to achieve in life. If parents reward their children too often for good behaviors, this enforces the idea that they will not have to put in very much effort to obtain rewards.

When to Use Each Type of Motivation

This applies mostly to employers or parents who have to motivate others to accomplish tasks. Extrinsic motivation can come in handy in the following types of situations:

External rewards can help others become interested in a subject or activity that they had no desire to learn before.
Extrinsic rewards can motivate people to acquire new skillsets and knowledge. Once they learn the skills, they may have more internal motivation to pursue a job or activity.
External rewards can also help people know where they stand in their job or schoolwork. It serves as a way to give people feedback and let them know when they’ve done a good job.

In cases where people already enjoy an activity, parents or employers should refrain from giving external motivation. Basically, it boils down to moderation. Giving too much praise makes the individual less likely to keep up the good behavior. On the other hand, too little praise causes the person to become resentful and disinterested in the activity.

When motivation becomes more important:

External motivation helps in cases where people have no interest in an activity or task. Think about the kids doing a school assignment or an important task at work. You don’t want to give too many rewards. Offer just enough to get people motivated to complete the job. Researchers have drawn the following conclusions about how intrinsic and extrinsic motivation work:

Unexpected rewards usually don’t curb internal motivation. For example, if you actually enjoy your job and you help the company bring in more money, your boss may reward you with a gift card or a promotion. This won’t affect your intrinsic motivation because you genuinely enjoy your work. However, if people start expecting rewards every time they accomplish something, this can become problematic.
Praise can boost your internal motivation in some cases. Researchers have found that giving people positive feedback when they perform a task better than others can improve their internal motivation for doing that task.
Internal motivation will decrease when people receive rewards for doing what’s expected of them or for simple tasks. For example, if parents give their children $5 every time they make their bed, it will lower their motivation for doing their chores every day.

How to Use Each Type of Motivation in Your Life

Think about what goals you have or what duties you’ve been given in your daily life. No matter if you go to school or have a full-time job, you can learn what motivates you and how to use this to your advantage. Let’s say, for example. You have your own business running a travel website. Now, think about what makes you motivated to keep growing this venture.

You probably have both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to maintain your business. That’s because your work keeps people coming to the website each day, which generates monetary rewards. However, you obviously picked that line of work because you get personal satisfaction from teaching people about the finest places to travel around the world. We all get motivated by external and internal factors. Moreover, both of them are necessary for a functional society.

Final thoughts about extrinsic and intrinsic motivation

As you’ve learned in this article, extrinsic motivation comes from anything outside yourself that keeps you working toward a specific goal. Usually, people get motivated by other’s opinions of them, monetary rewards, or positive praise. For example, if you hope to lose weight for external reasons, you may care about looking better to attract someone’s attention or because you want to feel better. However, you may not personally enjoy working out.

Intrinsic motivation comes from anything that we do because we get pleasure out of it. This may pertain to certain hobbies you have. Or, in some cases, it may involve your job. (Although, unfortunately, most people go to work just to pay the bills). As you can see, both types of motivation have a place in society. And we can use both of them to our advantage.

5 Signs Of Bad Communication In A Marriage

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Any divorce lawyer will tell you that one of the most common reasons that a marriage fails is bad communication. People just don’t talk or express themselves as they used to. While some of this can be blamed on phones and other devices, a lot of it is simply two people who are unwilling to see eye to eye until it’s too late.

The good and bad news is that this poor communication doesn’t just “jump” to the end result of divorce. There are usually plenty of signs of communication problems in that way. Many couples may not even be aware of the symptoms.

According to a study published by Dr. Mary Ogechi Esere and other colleagues of The University of Illoran, Nigeria, a marriage without effective communication will crumble. Because of this, it’s essential to recognize and fix communication problems before the union gets to the point of collapsing. Here are five signs of bad communication in a marriage that you can begin to recognize and fix before they get out of control.

1. You have replaced listening with talking.

One of the most significant indicators of a failure to communicate is when communication becomes a one-way street. Sure, there is plenty of talking happening. The two of you aren’t missing a beat when it comes to sharing information.

You may share the details of your day or talk about any activities or chores that need to be done. You may speak about childcare concerns or bills, or even ask how work is going.

One person may even be expressing deeper concerns like how they’re feeling about certain things. This is where the real disconnection comes in. The other partner may simply respond with more talk.

The problem is that it’s all talk, just something that’s filling the air. Either one or both parties are simply not listening to the other. You hear each other, but you’re not processing what’s being said and taking the time to truly understand your partner’s feelings.

It’s like the wants, needs, and desires of each person are being tuned out. This type of dismissive behavior must be nipped in the bud early before it can have lasting damage to a marriage.

Each person must understand that merely hearing the other person isn’t enough. You must each think about what your partner is saying and process it. Only then can effective communication be restored, and a solution to whatever other problems are happening can be found.

2. You find yourself assuming how your partner is feeling.

It’s every person’s dream – to find someone who is on the same wavelength as they are. They want someone that’s so “in tune” with them that the person just automatically knows how they’re feeling.

On the surface, that sounds nice but, that only works in the cupcake stages of a relationship. This is because you’re only dealing with a limited range of emotions. However, keep in mind that we’re all a sophisticated container full of emotions brimming beneath the surface.

By the time you get married, you should have made it past all those initial, easy-to-read emotions. You should understand that there is more than what you can see. This means that you aren’t going always to be able to “read” your partner’s feelings.

That’s okay! It can be considered as healthy. After all, you’re most likely not a psychiatrist or a psychic. This is where communication comes in. You absolutely must be able to talk to each other about your feelings.

When you find yourself in a situation where you can’t or won’t talk to each other about your feelings, there is a severe breakdown of communication. There should never be a time where you’re assuming your partner’s feelings and vice versa. When this starts happening, it’s time to get together and work on the communication between the two of you.

3. You find yourself being irritated at even the smallest issues.

It may seem like your partner can do nothing right lately. You may find yourself wondering how he can be such a screwup. I mean, simple things aren’t even being done, simple needs aren’t being met, and you just too annoyed to even mention them.

When you stop to think about it, a lot of these situations are just that – situations. Not issues. You might not even be able to put your finger on why these things irritate you so much.

There may have even been a time where you thought these little nuances were cute. Those were simpler times. Times when it seemed your partner could do no wrong.

Those times don’t have to be gone forever. You can fix the issue of being irritated at everything if you fix the real issues that’s going on between you. There is only one way to fix those practical issues, and that is to change the bad communication.

You must be willing and able to express what’s irritating you. This doesn’t mean petty stuff. This means the real stuff that’s slowly chipping away at you. You also must be able to listen to your partner if they want to express what’s irritating them.

4. You feel more comfortable talking to someone outside of the marriage.

When you are more comfortable talking to someone outside of the marriage instead of your spouse, there is a clear issue with bad communication. Your spouse should always be the first person you can go to whenever you need to talk. You should feel comfortable in confiding in your spouse, and your spouse should feel the same way about confiding in you.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ever confide in friends or family. It’s healthy to be able to talk to others outside of your relationship. Sometimes a fresh perspective on situations can help to open your eyes to specific issues.

However, they should never be a substitute for talking to your spouse. When you begin to avoid talking to your spouse in favor of talking to others, that’s when it’s not okay. That’s when you and your spouse need to talk more than ever, no matter how uncomfortable it can get.

There shouldn’t be any subject that you can’t talk to your spouse about. Even if specific issues push both of your buttons, you should still be confident in knowing that you can speak to your spouse even in disagreement. If not, you may both need to seek outside help together instead of individually.

5. Your sex life is terrible.

Sex might not be everything in a marriage, but it does count for a whole lot. When there is any type of problem in a marriage, you can be sure that it will be reflected through your sexual chemistry. If you’ve noticed a change in your sexual habits with your spouse, bad communication may be the blame.

Poor communication leads to a breakdown in other aspects of the relationship. This can include emotional, mental, and even spiritual elements. Once these things have been broken down due to lack of communication, what you have left is sex.

Sex alone doesn’t keep a marriage together.

You’ll begin to notice that physical bond breaking between you and your spouse. One or both of you may simply “not be in the mood” more often. By the time you’ve reached this point, you’ve probably let the lack of proper communication go too far.

According to Chris Kraft, Ph.D., a director of clinical services of the Sex and Gender Clinic at John Hopkins Medicine, there are plenty of sexual roadblocks that occur in marriages. It’s not necessarily even malicious roadblocks, just everyday circumstances like kids, bills, careers, and more.

The problems mainly occur when there is no communication between spouses about how they’re feeling about all of these things. “You need to talk about it because the resentment that builds up around feelings of inequality is one of the biggest killers of intimacy and sexuality,” says Dr. Kraft.

It’s time to rush into fixing your bad communication problem before it’s too late. It takes two to tango, so if you’re feeling the results of poor communication through your sex life, your spouse is feeling it also. Just sit down and have an honest conversation with each other.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Bad Communication in a Marriage

You got married for a reason. That reason had to have been worth it, right? If your answer is yes, then it’s time to fix the poor communication between you and your spouse.

Communication is what keeps a marriage secure. Sure, times may get tough, and your spirit may get drained from time to time, but this is when you need your partner the most. Use the five signs above to recognize when bad communication has become a problem in your marriage so you can fix it before it becomes a more significant issue.

10 Waist Training Exercises to Make You Slim and Trim

August 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Everyone wants a healthy body. No matter who you are, it seems like we all have something we’d like to work on. Thankfully, you can make changes by altering what you eat and how you exercise. And adding waist training moves to your fitness routine can give you the slimmer silhouette you want.

Do you crave a sleeker midsection with chiseled abdominals and obliques? Some experts say that your body shape depends a lot on heredity. Sorry, but you can only blame your parents for your love handles and saddlebags so much. Your physique depends greatly on your diet and activity level.

Today’s buzzwords in the health and fitness world are fat-burning and body sculpting. You’ve probably read the alarming statistics concerning the obesity epidemic in America. It’s a national health emergency that affects adults but is also plaguing children.

You know the importance of your body mass index or BMI. This number is significant as it tells you the fat percentage of your body mass. To calculate this number, you divide your weight by your height. Another major factor in determining BMI is your gender.

Maneuvers to Make You Slim and Trim

According to the CDC, your BMI range should be 18-25. You are considered overweight when you get above a 25. You become obese if your BMI gets over 30. It’s essential to keep your BMI at an optimal range to have a leaner, healthier body. To help you with this task, here are some fun waist training exercises to try.

1. Side Crunches

If you want to get rid of those pesky love handles, then the side crunches should help. You will get a good workout for your, waist, hips, and legs.

How to Do It:

Imagine that you’re lying on the bed watching television, as that’s the position you need to be in. Now, turn to your right side paying attention to keep your legs together. Place your left arm behind your head to make yourself comfortable.

You want to form a “V” with your legs and upper body. Bring your legs up as you lift your chest to meet them. Now, breathe in and out for 3-5 seconds and hold the pose. Slowly release your body back down to the starting position. Switch and do it on the right side now. You want to strive for 8-10 reps per side.

2. Triangle Crunches

No waist training workout would be complete without these fat-burning crunches. These triangle crunches can strengthen and tone your abdominals, your sides, and your hips. If you add a little bit of mindful breathing with them, you’ll get the aerobic benefit your heart needs.

How to Do It:

You need to have excellent balance to do this maneuver. Start by putting your left knee on the floor as you lift the right one. Your left-hand goes behind your head, and your right one goes on the floor to help you keep your grounding.

Now, bring your right leg up and do a modified leg lift. When you bring the leg to the top of the lift, hold the pose for 1-2 seconds, then bring it back down. You should do about 20-30 reps per side. You should feel the burn in your abs and hips with this exercise.

3. Arm Planks

Arm planks are some of the best exercises for waist training. While it seems odd, the great thing about these planks is that they will work many of the larger muscle groups in the body. If you lack good posture, then these little maneuvers can help you correct your position and shape your waist.

How to Do It:

Get into the push-up position and bend your forearms as you face forward. Ensure you align your shoulders with your elbows and keep your arms about a shoulder’s width apart. Now, find a spot on the floor to focus on, and keep your neck and spine in proper alignment.

Hold this position while you breathe in and out for 10-15 seconds. Now, lower your body and relax for a few breaths.

4. Starfish Crunch

The cute name of this maneuver was dubbed after the marine creature, the starfish. It’s a bit difficult for those who have arthritis and other issues, so make sure you work to your comfort level.

How to Do It:

Start by lying on the floor flat on your back. Go into a spread-eagle position with your arms and legs spread out. Make sure not to stretch your body too far as it can cause pain. Now, you want to bend your legs up and bring your arms towards your knees.

Your knees and elbows must meet. As you roll your inner section forward to allow the connection, you will feel your core muscles tighten. You need to hold this position for 1-2 seconds and then return to the original prostate stance. You should strive for 20 reps.

5. Criss-Crosses

Fat-burning is essential for losing weight. However, some of the troubled areas, like your waist, are stubborn and don’t like to release it. If you want a trimmer midsection, make these crisscrosses a part of your workout routine.

How to Do It:

Lay on the floor on your right side. Keep your feet stacked on top of each other. Now, rest your hand down your side and keep the left arm as a support for your head. Your right elbow should be pointing towards the ceiling.

Slowly bring your feet into the air while you raise your upper body. Your shoulders and feet should never touch the floor. Hold this position for 1-2 seconds. Do ten reps on one side, then switch to the other side.

If that sounds too advanced, here is a beginner’s variation of that move:

6. Windshield Wipers

The windshield wiper is a good maneuver if you often have hip and lower back pain. The great thing about this exercise is that it can help to strengthen troubled areas while sculpting the muscles in your lower body.

How to Do It:

Lay flat on the floor and hold your arms straight at both sides. Now, slowly lift your legs and bend the knees until they reach a 90-degree angle. Hold for 1-2 seconds, rotate your legs to one side, and make sure they don’t contact the floor.

Hold again for another 1-2 seconds before returning to the starting position. You need to repeat these steps 15 times on each side for a total of 20-30 reps.

7. Donkey Kicks

Do you find that the fat around your midsection area seems to be as stubborn as a donkey? You can start your waist training exercises with a kick. If you want to tone your backside, hips, and thighs, this easy maneuver is for you.

How to Do It:

Get into the doggy position with your knees and hands flat on the floor. Make sure that you keep your hands in alignment with your shoulders. As you breathe, make sure you contract your core muscles. Now, raise one leg and kick it upwards.

You should feel a burn in your glute muscles as you perform this exercise, especially when you keep both your hips and pelvis pointed down. Make sure you keep your head straight and your face looking downward. Keeping your face looking down is essential, or you can cause neck strain. Now, complete ten reps for each leg.

8. Heel Touches

Sometimes, it’s the simple exercises have the most significant outcome. Heel touches can help you to strengthen your core, sides, and belly area.

How to Do It:

First, lay flat on the floor while keeping your knees bent. Keep your legs a shoulder-width apart. Now, keep your palms facing inward, but stretch your arms out to the side. Inhale for 1-2 seconds. While breathing, you need to tighten your upper body to touch your right hand to your right heel.

Hold this movement for 1-2 seconds, and then return to your original position. The goal is to do ten reps on each side for a total of 20.

9. Butterfly Kicks

You’ve never seen a butterfly with a thick waistline, have you? Maybe she knows the secret to this unique waist training exercise.

How to Do It:

Start by lying flat on the floor. You want to clasp your hands behind your head with your elbows bent. Now, lift your shoulders from the mat and keep your elbows pointing outwards. Raise your legs until they are roughly the same height as your shoulders.

Now, here comes the butterfly part. You want to flutter your feet back and forth while holding the upward body in position. Don’t allow the feet to touch. Hold this place for 10-20 seconds, then return to the starting position.

10. Leg Raises

These go beyond the leg lifts you did in high school gym class. You will use your hips and bottom muscles to bring your legs over your head, giving your body a fat-burning stretch.

How to Do It:

Position a sturdy chair, then lie down flat on your back with your head facing the chair. Using both arms, reach behind you and grab onto the front chair legs. Then, involve your core muscles and glutes to gradually raise your legs and bottom side upwards.

You should use your arms for support. Boost your body until your legs and feet are directly over your head. If done correctly, your body will be balancing on your upper torso and shoulders. Hold for 2-3 breaths.

Final Thoughts on Adding Waist Training to Your Exercise Plan

Some of these maneuvers are easier than others. If you have an underlying medical condition, like arthritis, talk to your medical provider about which routines are safe. Some of the best waist training maneuvers target the obliques to give you a trimmer midsection.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

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Stubborn people have a lot of resilience.

They won’t sway their opinion just because of peer pressure.

Stubborn people have a passionate attitude about life.

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They may resist change.

Stubborn people sometimes like to argue to prove a point.

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