Stubborn: 1: (a) unreasonably or perversely unyielding; (b) suggestive or typical or a strong stubborn nature; 2: performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent matter; 3: difficult to handle, manage, or treat. – Merriam-Webster Dictionary
As the Merriam-Webster definition of stubborn conveys, the word often has a negative connotation in modern culture. The truth is that stubbornness is not always a bad thing; a stubborn person can be just as well-meaning and polite as someone less so. Taken a step further, someone who is stubborn can, and often does, have a lasting and positive influence on our life.
When is it “good to be stubborn”? For one: when choosing a potential mate. To be clear, an entrenched line exists between stubbornness and obstinacy. When one refuses to compromise in a relationship; always makes demands; doesn’t display empathy, and so on, that is not stubbornness – that is borderline abuse.
Here are 10 reasons to be with the stubborn one:
1. They have a good sense of direction
Stubborn people are generally not adrift when it comes to life. A stubborn person generally knows what they want, and will go for it. Even if they should fail, their innate “stick-to-itiveness” allows them to get back in the saddle easier than most. The same concept applies for relationships; the stubborn among have a propensity for seeing things through regardless of any relationship obstacles!
2. They continually try to make us better
This one requires a two-part explanation: (1) stubborn people are often insightful when it comes to understanding their partner’s traits; (2) they will attempt to nudge us along the path leading to the fulfillment of our potential. Slacking off? Good luck with that. Not taking care of yourself? You may want to try a little personal upkeep. Well, either that, or you’re just going to hear about it for the remainder of your life.
3. They are keenly attuned to their emotions
The stubborn often possess high emotional intelligence; they understand their thought processes and emotional elements, and are always tuned into them. This trait is also tied somewhat to logical capabilities, as the stubborn tend to provide rationale to why they think and feel certain ways. They’ll indeed become emotional, but they’ll almost always provide an explanation when prompted for one.
4. They bring novelty to the relationship
Okay, here’s a quick experiment: close your eyes and imagine a relationship where a person agrees with everything you say…it sounds ideal, right? But where is the challenge in that? The intellectual rigor? A “Yes Man” or a “Yes Woman” will certainly not provide any of the aforementioned benefits.
5. They are tremendously resilient
We touched on this a bit already, but perhaps more elaboration is in order. Stubbornness isn’t generally an innate characteristic; it is usually the result of environmental factors. More specifically, the stubborn often have had to overcome hardships in getting what they want (see number one!). As a result, he or she has learned to cultivate and strengthen their soul in anticipation of any adversity. Subsequently, the stubborn often have remarkable resilience – a great personal attribute of someone in any relationship!
6. They always “keep things real”
We’ve established by now that the stubborn are strong individuals. This strength also manifests into how they convey their thoughts and emotions. They won’t (ever) succumb to someone else out of hesitance, fear or timidity; as such, they’ll tell you precisely what they feel or think at any given time. This is a refreshing change from the “shielding” of emotions that often accompanies dating and, to a lesser extent, relationships.
7. They are deeply caring
Are there stubborn people who are also detached from most everyone? Sure there are, but they are in the minority. Remember, people are stubborn because they embody strongly-felt emotions. This characteristic causes them to feel emotions – sadness, anger, and love – more deeply than many others.
8. They incite passion
Number 7 segues quite nicely into another important emotion in relationships: passion. Relationships are shallow minus moments of passion; however, this is rarely the case for those in a relationship with a stubborn person. Why? Because the displays of deeply-felt emotions will translate into times of passion – for the relationship, and for the things that you both mutually value. (And, yes, this applies to bedroom activities as well!)
9. They exude confidence
This one really is a no-brainer. Traits of stubbornness have a strong correlation with confidence, and confidence is a potent attraction mechanism. Given that the stubborn have confidence in the things they say and do, it is natural that his or her confident characteristics will often surface in other ways too. This is fun…and it also leads us to the next item on our list…
10. They keep things interesting(!)
With a stubborn person as a partner, there is no shortage of things interesting. Will you fight and argue? Yeah. Will you clash over things? Certainly. Will you ever be bored and complacent? No, and no.
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