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10 Behaviors Reveal A Carb Addiction (And How to Stop)

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Are you a carb addict? Do you have a compulsive eating problem that makes you seek snack foods and sugar? Since a carb addiction usually comes with obesity, it’s no wonder that more than 42 percent of adults over the age of 20 are overweight.

The CDC states that the number of people obese in this county has become an epidemic.

Is it any wonder that people are overweight? If you drive down the street in any city in the US, you will find it lined with fast food establishments. Some of the options include burger joints, donut shops, ice cream stores, and any ethnic cuisine you can imagine.

Since Americans tend to be in a rush and overworked as a majority, stopping for a quick meal makes common sense. However, what makes sense for your time restraints doesn’t always mean it’s the best option for your waistline. Obesity can kill you as it causes complications with your heart, joints, lungs, and muscles.

Not to mention the higher rate of inflammation that accompanies this condition is known to cause cancer. The problem is all of this can be avoided if folks learn how to get their carb addiction under control.

Are You Addicted to Carbs?

How do you know if you’re a carb addict? While having a craving for sweets on occasion is not out of the ordinary, how can you tell if you’re a fanatic? Here are some common signs that you have a carb addiction.

carb addiction1. You Finish Every Meal with a Dessert

Most people that are carb addicts don’t feel like any meal is complete without a dessert. It doesn’t matter if you just had a big platter of pancakes and bacon; you still crave something sweet to finish off your meal. Your constant sugary cravings for snack foods are a sign that you’re addicted to the sweet stuff.

2. You’re A Stress Eater

When life gets you down, and you feel stress, do you tend to engage in compulsive eating? Part of being a stress eater usually means you desire foods that contain carbs. Nothing makes you feel better than a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a side of peanut butter pie.

3. You’re Overweight

If you’re more than 30 pounds overweight, then you’re considered obese. Obesity is out of control in this country due to portion distortion and carbs.

Is it any wonder why programs such as Keto and Atkins are increasingly popular and help people shed tons of weight? Limiting carbohydrates and including more protein in your diet is always a good option.

4. You Gain Weight in Your Belly

Have you ever seen a “beer belly” on someone who drinks a lot of beer? It’s not the beer that is causing this swollen appearance, but rather the high amount of carbs in this drink. Alcohol has many carbs, and it’s not the only thing that can increase your midsection.

Filling up on sugary substances all day long, as well as soda and alcohol can increase your waistline dramatically. You can always tell someone who is addicted to carbs by the size of their stomach.

5. You Get Tired After A Meal

One sure way to see that you’ve consumed too many carbohydrates is that you get tired after eating a meal. When you don’t get the proper balance of foods and consume too much sugary stuff, your body goes into a slumbering state.

Remember the feeling you get after compulsive eating on Thanksgiving? Well, this same feeling happens after most meals where the carb count is too high.

6. You Have Type II Diabetes

Unlike juvenile diabetes or type I, type II is totally preventable by diet. If you’re eating foods that are laden with sugar and starches, then you’re going to have issues. It’s estimated that there are more than 88 million Americans with prediabetes, according to the CDC.

Prediabetes is the warning sign that you will develop type II if you don’t change your ways. Thankfully, you can reverse things by changing your eating habits immediately.

7. You Crave Bread, Pasta, and Sweets

A true carb addict will have a craving for bread, pasta, and sweets that they cannot control. It seems that you can’t get enough of these starches. When you regularly consume these foods, your body craves them as the sugary makeup gives you a euphoric feeling.

No wonder people want comfort foods when they’re sad or stressed out. You can have all of these things, but you must consume them in moderation.

sugar

Read seven signs that prove you are addicted to sugar.

8. You Can’t Limit Your Intake

The famous potato chip company used an advertising slogan that said that “No one can eat just one.” They didn’t realize how true this statement was for the carb addict. How many times have you sat down with a bag of cookies and realized you ate the whole bag when a serving is only four?

It’s easy to overeat when you crave sweets, and you have no control. You probably were snacking while binge-watching your favorite television shows. You lost count of how many you consumed as well as your feelings of fullness.

9. You’re Still Hungry After A Meal

How many times have you eaten a huge plate at dinner but still felt hungry after you ate? The problem is that you’ve consumed too many carbs. Your body always wants more of the starchy goodness, and it doesn’t seem to be able to limit you.

This is a common experience after eating Americanized Chinese foods. Real oriental foods don’t have the sugary content that it does in this country. So, when you’re eating General Tso’s Chicken with a heaping side of white rice, it’s like consuming pure sugar.

According to Diabetic Foodie, it’s not a health-friendly food as it’s packed with carbs, sugars, and sodium. Please pay attention to what you’re eating because it has a great deal to do with keeping you full and satisfied later.

10. You Crave Sugar as Soon as You Awaken

Your alarm clock goes off, alerting you it’s time to start another new day. As soon as you take care of your daily hygiene chores, you immediately begin craving bread and cereals. You can tell you have a carb addiction when you wake up, and it’s one of the first things on your mind.

Breaking the Habits Associated with Carb Cravings

So, after reading through this list, you’ve identified whether you have a problem with carbs. Thankfully, there are ways to combat this issue so that you can lose the weight you need and be healthier. Here are the three best ways:

1. Eat More Protein

When you eat more protein, your body feels fuller. Not only will it help to avoid those impulse binges, but it can make you feel satisfied after a meal. Lean protein is the key to controlling type II diabetes as well as getting off excessive weight.

2. Exercise When You Feel Like Eating

It’s often been said that weight loss begins in mind. If you want to lose weight, then you need to retrain your brain. Every time you feel hungry, you need to exercise when you feel like eating.

If it’s real hunger, the pangs won’t go away. However, if it has everything to do with your carb addiction, then retraining the brain to do something else will help.

3. Eat Healthy Fats

Healthy fats also help you to feel fuller and are good for your heart. Try to incorporate coconut oil, ghee, olive oil, and other more nutritious varieties. The ones to avoid include cottonseed oil, palm oil, and vegetable and soybean oils. According to Bonappetit, you want to avoid anything that’s “Partially hydrogenated.”

carb addictionFinal Thoughts on Breaking Your Carb Addiction

It’s hard to eat a balanced diet when there are so many temptations all around you. Even worse is the fact that you probably have a full schedule with little time to prepare something healthy from scratch. It seems so much easier to grab a burger and fries on the way home so that you have extra time to do the things you must do at home.

Sadly, Americans must spend more time considering their health as the obesity epidemic continues to rage out of control. US News published an article referencing a study that shows that being obese kills more than 598,000 people a year, which surpasses cancers.

Something must be done to combat the carb addiction that so many people face. It takes discipline to change your eating habits and select healthier foods. It’s not going to happen overnight, so you should be cautious and start slow.

There are many support groups for overeaters and people who have a problem with carbs and sugary substances, and the process of detoxing is similar to that of a drug. However, you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to do. The key is to believe in yourself and desire to be healthy.

American Heart Association Issues New Guidance on Nutrition

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It’s no secret that eating several servings of fruit and vegetables daily is the best way to maintain good health when it comes to your diet. You’ll feel better, live longer, and look your best if you incorporate the right portions in your diet. Conversely, if you don’t get enough of these food groups, your health may begin to decline, and it will show.

The American Heart Association (AHA) has guidelines on how much of these two food groups people should eat. This association has been a reliable source for cardiovascular health since its inception in 1924. The guidelines are updated periodically to reflect people’s diets in modern times, especially as science uncovers new research and developments into human health.

The American Heart Association has published a news release on March 1st, 2021, about new research into the guidelines on how many daily servings of fruit and vegetables is ideal. With people trying to live their healthiest lives more than ever, this research couldn’t have come at a perfect time.

Details of the News Release by the American Heart Association

american heart associationThe study’s lead researcher was Dr. Dong D. Wang, M.D., Sc.D., an epidemiologist, nutritionist, and faculty member at Harvard Medical School. His team included Yanpin Li, Ph.D., Shilpa N. Bhupathiraju, PhD., Bernard A. Rosner, Ph.D., Qi Sun, MD, ScD, and more.

Dr. Wang and his colleagues found evidence that the 5-a-day theory that the American Heart Association recommends is correct. Still, they made the recommendation more specific – two servings of fruit and three servings of vegetables daily. According to their research, eating this combination seems to the right combination that promotes a longer lifespan.

This specific recommendation is significant because there hasn’t been much research into precisely the optimal mix. People have been following the American Heart Association’s loose guidelines and these guidelines certainly work, but anytime policies can get more specific, that leads to a better outcome.

The researchers compiled data from the Nurse’s Health Study (women, 1984 – 2014) and the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study (men, 1986 – 2014). They included data for 66,719 women and 42,016 men. All participants were free of cardiovascular disease, cancer, and diabetes at the start of the data selection.

The study pulled data from surveys given to participants every two to four years during the data selection length. These surveys included questions about the participants’ regular diet and health.

Out of 108,735 participants, the researchers documented 33,898 deaths during the length of the data selection. They recognized a correlation between people who lived longer with people who ate more fruit and vegetables.

Those with the longest life spans were the ones that regularly ate three servings of vegetables and two servings of fruit. They also saw that the longer life span plateaued at five servings per day. In other words, eating more than five servings per day doesn’t expand your life any longer than only five servings per day.

One important note was that fruit juice and potatoes were not recommended as one of the servings in their study. This breaks away from current recommendations – the AHA currently suggests that 100% fruit juice and potatoes could serve fruit or vegetables.

It’s fair to say that their research included enough subjects to back up their theories significantly. Now people may be anxious to know if the AHA will officially adopt Dr. Wang’s research suggestions into their guidelines. The association allowed publishing the news release on their official website, so it’s not a far-fetched idea that they may use the research to update the guidelines.

How a Balanced Diet Helps You Live Longer

believe itYou may have heard a million times that eating right will help you live longer, but do you know how or why?

Food is your energy source. It’s like the gas you put in your car – it keeps you going. Just like gas has different grades correlating to the quality of the gas, food also does.

However, don’t think of food in grades. Think of it in terms of less healthy food to more nutritious food. The healthier your food is, the better, longer, and more efficient your body will run.

So, this leads to the question, “what makes food healthy or not healthy?”

Of course, anyone can probably name foods that are healthy and name foods that aren’t. However, if you understand what makes a particular food healthy, it’s much easier to make better decisions. Healthy foods will have these qualities:

  • Lots of nutrients.
  • Low to moderate amounts of calories.
  • Low to the moderate glycemic index.
  • More healthy fats than bad fats.

Out of these four qualities, the most important one is the first one. Food is indeed fuel, but more specifically, the nutrients in food are fuel. The nutrients are what interacts with your body’s functions and keep things working correctly. If a particular food doesn’t have very many nutrients, you’ll essentially be eating empty calories.

That’s one reason why fast food and snacks are not considered healthy foods. These foods don’t have many nutrients, to begin with, and once they’re cooked, cooking methods can kill off the little nutrients they have. Sure, this food might fill you up for a little while, but this food does nothing to expand your life and everything to expand your waistline.

Healthy foods are usually lower in calories than unhealthy foods. While this isn’t a rule that’s set in stone, it’s one that you can bet on.

The same goes for healthy fats vs. unhealthy fats. Healthy foods will contain more of the good fats – monounsaturated fat and polyunsaturated fat. Unhealthy foods will have more saturated fats and trans fats. Look at the label for quick identification.

Finally, healthy foods won’t shoot up your blood sugar levels. This is especially important for people with diabetes. A fast spike in blood sugar will give you a temporary energy boost, but you’ll also get an equally dramatic crash right after that. Plus, blood sugar levels that constantly fluctuate dramatically lead to a whole host of other health problems that can shorten your life span.

You may think it’s easy to identify healthy foods and unhealthy foods. Most fruit and vegetables fall under healthy foods, but some of these could be unhealthy depending on the circumstances. If you pay attention to these four qualities, it will be easy to identify healthy foods over unhealthy foods. You should also keep other everyday things in mind like calories, carbohydrates, and more, but these four qualities won’t ever lead you in the wrong direction.

Foods That Help You Live Longer

As stated before, the nutrients that food provides are what lead to a longer lifespan. In general, all nutrients help you live longer because your body needs them. However, some offer more benefits than others. If you eat the right foods, you’ll get a whopping dose of these nutrients.

Here are some of the best foods you can eat for longer life:

  • Oatmeal – choose one with lots of fiber; fights bad cholesterol.
  • Avocado – a superfood that fights heart disease
  • Olive oil – contains polyphenols that promote a healthy brain.
  • Bell peppers – full of vitamins and antioxidants
  • Tea – all types; promotes weight loss through increased metabolism.
  • Coffee – gives you energy and fights inflammation.
  • Leafy greens – spinach, kale, arugula, cabbage, lettuce
  • Beans/Legumes – all types; a superfood that has all the right stuff and little to none of the wrong stuff
  • Chia Seeds – full of fiber and antioxidants
  • Blueberries – to fight inflammation and help boost memory.
  • Apples – fights against diabetes.
  • Red wine – has flavonoids that promote good overall health.
  • Almonds – lots of fiber, protein, and healthy fats
  • Walnuts – helps to lower cholesterol and promotes a healthy brain.
  • Dark Chocolate – fights disease and inflammation.
  • Salmon – rich in Omega-3 fats (a healthy fat)

Final Thoughts on the American Heart Association Recommendations

This new research doesn’t discredit anything that the American Heart Association has been recommending over the years. In fact, it strengthens it. The AHA will continue to be a primary authority worth listening to when it comes to heart health and living a long, healthy life.

As researchers and scientists continue to work with the association to discover new or better ways to live longer, people will continually have better lives. Keep this research in mind, and be sure to check with the American Heart Association often for the newest recommendation of the correct daily servings of fruit and vegetables. You’ll be glad you did.

Psychology Explains What Happens When Someone Feels Emotional Abandonment

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Do you have feelings of emotional abandonment, and do you think it stems from your childhood? It’s not uncommon to feel neglect issues, but you may not be able to put your finger on the root cause. It’s a fallacy that these feelings only come from things like mistreatment, divorce, death, or illness.

The truth is that you can have someone lay beside you in bed every night and still feel these feelings of abandonment. The premise for this mental concern has nothing to do with closeness or the proximity of a person. Still, it’s more about not having a connection with that individual, or your emotional needs are being overlooked.

Understanding Your Emotional Needs

emotional abandonmentYour emotions are not something that you’re fully aware of, and you may not know what’s missing in your life. Your relationships have both physical and emotional needs, and when one is not being fulfilled, it can cause you to be off-kilter.

The basic mental health needs of a person include these things:

  • Listened to
  • Understood
  • Nurtured
  • Appreciated
  • Accepted
  • Valued
  • Loved
  • Treated as an equal companion

When things aren’t right in your relationship, your emotional needs are unmet. This is often observed in cases where there is emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or there is a high amount of conflict between the couple. Another issue that can bring feelings of emotional abandonment is infidelity.

What about cases where one partner has a substance abuse issue? It’s only normal that the other person feels neglected, and it can turn into feelings of abandonment. When an individual is deep in the throes of addiction, their substance abuse problem is the driving force in their life.

Being addicted to an illegal substance prevents a person from giving their all to a relationship, and thus, the other individual suffers. There are numerous reasons why one party might feel that their emotional needs aren’t being met in a relationship, but the key is to identify what’s not working and fix it. If the connection cannot be repaired, then it’s not healthy to stay in a toxic situation.

Origins of Emotional Abandonment

You should note that emotional abandonment is a feeling, and it can come about even when you’re in a healthy relationship. It’s normal to have moments when your thoughts or feelings lead you down this path, and it can be unconscious or an intentional view.

Here are some things that psychiatrists and counselors have observed that can trigger these feelings:

  • Parenting demands
  • Hectic work schedules
  • Lack of communication
  • Lack of affection
  • Intentionally withholding intimacy
  • Severe or ongoing illness
  • Not spending time together
  • A narcissistic partner
  • Unresolved hurts
  • Intimacy fears
  • Living separate lives
  • Infidelity
  • Falling out of love

Establishing Common Ground

It’s a common belief that opposites attract, and it’s good to have various interests to keep things interesting. However, it would help if you had enough common interests that you enjoy spending time together. Assume that you love to go to thrift stores and flea markets because the thrill of the hunt gets your mojo going.

However, your partner loathes these places and sees them as a waste of time. It’s hard to find time to spend together when you don’t like to do the same things. If you want to go to the movies and your partner prefers to stay home and “Netflix and chill,” then it’s easy to see how this could cause feelings of abandonment.

It would help if you made time to spend together. If you don’t have any evident interests, then find new things to do that you both can enjoy. When you have new experiences, it keeps the relationship alive. When you do the same thing day in, and day out, it only causes you to feel stagnate. It takes hard work to keep things fresh.

pop memeDealing with Resentment

Damaging and harmful communication patterns occur when you don’t know how to be open and honest with each other. You should be able to share your feelings and thoughts with your partner without fear of any repercussions.

When you feel that your partner doesn’t care about what you’re saying, doesn’t respect your opinions, or isn’t even really listening, then you may stop trying to communicate. It’s effortless to build walls of resentment because you feel that you’re not on the same page. The person who has laid beside you for 20 years, every night, can become a stranger.

Many couples live separate lives and don’t even realize it. When you talk to your neighbors, friends, and relatives more than you talk to your partner, it’s a sign that something isn’t right in your relationship. If you’re no longer being sexually intimate or having any particular time just to be a couple, then it’s a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

When your feelings get hurt, or you have anger towards issues that you haven’t communicated to your partner, it’s easy for resentment to build. If these issues are not addressed promptly, then you may push or pull away from your partner. Do you want to avoid any criticism or undercutting comments from them?

Many people develop expectations for how the conversation about their feelings will go, and they avoid having this vital talk. The fact is that when you don’t communicate, you put the other partner in a precarious situation. They must become mind readers and determine why you’re upset or hurt.

Communication is an essential part of any relationship. If you cannot openly talk to your partner about your feelings, then you’re setting yourself up for resentment and disappointment in the union.

The Fear of Intimacy

It sounds silly to say that an adult has a fear of intimacy, but it’s something that people see psychiatrists for every day. These fears can come from their past or the trauma they’ve experienced. Someone who has been sexually abused might view sex as something that brought them so much pain, so their brain is programmed to view this act as harmful.

While their body might enjoy the feelings associated with sex, their mind is stuck in the past and the things that happened to them. How can they get over these feelings to be present in their relationship? The fear of intimacy from one partner will leave the other person to suffer.

Though you’ve done nothing wrong, the past abuse is driving a wedge in your otherwise great relationship. The person who has the fears of being close may push you away, put up walls, or close off when it comes to the topic of intimacy. Typically, these fears aren’t conscious, and they need counseling to retrain their brain to think about such matters differently.

Emotional abandonment can most certainly come from issues of intimacy. When one person isn’t present in the relationship physically, it can cause turmoil emotionally. It’s hard for you to understand when you’ve not been through the same things as your partner. So, you might feel alone, unwanted, and abandoned.

Childhood Plays A Significant Role in Adulthood

Many of the issues that plague you in adulthood come from your childhood. Was your mother emotionally able to take care of you as an infant? Did you have a bond with her and she with you?

Being a mother is overwhelming, especially when your mother might have come from a traumatic background. If she didn’t know how to handle stress appropriately, it could cause an attachment disorder between her and the child. When an infant is going through the foundational stage of emotional development, a mom must be in-tune with her child’s needs.

If your mom was fixated on her life and problems, cold towards you, or incapable of empathizing with your feelings, then you felt alone and rejected. When your needs go unmet for long periods, you form feelings of abandonment. Sadly, it’s not just in infancy that these fears can stem from childhood.

As you grew and aged, you may have felt controlled, criticized too much, received unfair treatment, or were given responsibilities that weren’t age-appropriate. All these things can cause feelings of emotional abandonment. When you suppress feelings as a viable coping skill, it only causes issues later in life.

You must deal with these problems either then or now because they can cause significant issues.

Final Thoughts on Emotional Abandonment

Feelings of abandonment, either emotional or physical, must be addressed. Your partner may do everything right in your relationship, and your past issues will drive a wedge between the two of you. Counselors talk with people every day whose past is haunting them in the present.

Whatever is the reason behind your emotional abandonment issues, you need to get to the root of it to process these feelings. If you don’t process them and move on, they will haunt every relationship you have in the future. Additionally, these feelings of abandonment can also spread to friendships.

20 Positive Self-affirmations Help You Love Your Body As It Is

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Your body is special and unique, and you should love your body as it is right now. If you struggle with loving your body, use these positive self-affirmations to help you achieve self-love. Having positive thoughts about your body will help you feel confident and boost your self-esteem.

When you can love your body, you will be surer of yourself. This will help you try new things and go after new opportunities. Plus, it will make your relationships stronger since your thoughts won’t be so negative all of the time.

Positive Self-affirmations Help You Love Your Body

With regular practice, you will feel love for your body without any reminders. For now, though, these positive self-affirmations can help you love your body as it is. Repeat them in the morning as you get ready for the day, at night before bed, or throughout the day as needed.

positive self affirmations1. I love my body and the things that make me unique.

You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t have things that made you unique. Looking like every other person in the world would mean that you aren’t special. You are special, though, which is why you should embrace the things that set you apart.

Love your body and all of the things that make you different. If your differences are what you don’t like about yourself, remember these positive self-affirmations. It will remind you that your unique qualities are things that you should love about yourself.

2. I approve of myself, and my approval is all that I need.

As long as you approve of yourself, you have already done all that you need to do. The approval of anyone else doesn’t matter. Focus on learning to approve of yourself, and you can love your body as it is right now.

3. I love that my body protects me and keeps me safe.

If you can’t think of anything else, at least your body offers protection and keeps you safe. While there are many other things to love about your body, this one is undisputable. Your body protects all of your vital organs, helping to keep you alive each day.

4. I am confident and believe in myself.

With self-confidence, you can do anything. You can even become more beautiful with self-confidence and a belief in yourself. Being confident will help you radiate positivity, helping you feel better about yourself and portray beauty.

5. I am kind to myself and treat myself with compassion.

With kindness and compassion, you will surely begin to love your body as it is. Don’t say or think bad things about yourself, and give yourself grace when you make mistakes. Be compassionate about your imperfections, and acknowledge that they make you unique.

6. I am powerful, and I become stronger each day.

Your body gives you so much power and, as you use your body, it only gets stronger. Repeat this positive self-affirmation whenever you feel weak or unworthy. You are strong and powerful, no matter what.

7. I love all that my body does for me.

Your body provides you with the ability to talk, walk, sit down, eat food, and any other thing you enjoy doing. Be grateful for all that your body enables you to do, and learn to love it just as it is.

8. I accept and believe compliments given to me.

When you don’t love your body, it can be hard to accept compliments or believe them. You might convince yourself that the person complimenting you is making fun of you, even if they aren’t. Use this positive self-affirmation to remind yourself that it isn’t the case.

When you receive a compliment, it is true and sincere. Accept the compliment and allow it to boost your self-confidence.

9. I will practice self-love every chance I get today.

With regular self-love, you will surely learn to love your body. Take care of yourself, love yourself, and embrace the body that you have.

10. I am more than good enough just the way I am right now.

You and your body are perfect just the way you are. Repeat this positive self-affirmation to help you love and embrace your body.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t enough, and don’t ever feel like you aren’t. You are a positive and valuable part of the world, and you must see yourself that way.

positive self affirmations11. I love myself more each day.

Use this positive self-affirmation each morning as you get ready for the day. It will help you stay positive and confident as you go through your daily routine. With this affirmation, you will instill a positive habit of self-love.

12. I replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk.

When your thoughts turn negative, you are more likely to feel bad about your body. If you notice that your mindset is shifting toward negativity, repeat this affirmation until you feel better. Say and think only positive things about your body, and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.

13. I choose to love myself today.

Every feeling and mindset you have is a choice. You are in control of your thoughts, so make sure you are choosing healthy ones. Before you begin your day, repeat this positive self-affirmation so that you show yourself more love than usual.

14. I am perfect as I am right now, and this is who I am supposed to be.

Remember that you are perfect just as you are because it is a true statement. You are the person you were intended to be, and that alone makes you perfect. Even with flaws and imperfections, you are perfect because you were meant to have those unique qualities.

15. I surround myself with people who know my worth.

If you surround yourself with negative people who put you down, you must make a change. The people you choose to spend your time with can directly affect your thoughts, feelings, and ideas of yourself.

Surround yourself with people that don’t put you down and that support and love you. These are the people that will see your worth and contribute positively to your body image.

16. I am worthy of respect and love.

Don’t ever let anyone mistreat you because you feel like you aren’t deserving. Your negative self-thoughts can cause you to believe that no one will ever truly love you. That isn’t the case, though, and you should never settle.

Acknowledge that you are worthy of being respected and fully loved instead. With that knowledge, you will learn to love your body, and you will know that others do, too.

17. I am equipped with all of the tools I need to succeed.

As mentioned before, your body provides you with power and strength, and it allows you to do many things. The benefits don’t stop there, however. Your body is equipped with everything you need to get through life.

You will need your brain to help you figure things out and make the right choices. Your limbs are necessary to pick things up and move from place to place. Plus, you can find any other tools you need to be successful right inside of your body.

18. I will make time to take care of myself.

Taking care of yourself is essential if you want to love your body as it is. Give your body nutrients and proper hydration, get enough sleep and get regular check-ups with your doctor. If you know that you are healthy, you can better love yourself and the body that you have right now.

19. I set boundaries for myself and my body, and I respect those boundaries.

Setting boundaries is important because it allows you to respect yourself. Plus, they will set a precedent for the respect you receive from others. People will see how you treat yourself and expect to be treated by others, so you must make your boundaries clear.

20. I have many good qualities, and I acknowledge them.

Find the things that you love about yourself, and think about them in moments of negativity. Repeat this affirmation as you consider your good qualities. Doing so will help you feel better, give you confidence, and boost your self-esteem as you begin to love your body.

Final Thoughts on Positive Self-affirmations Help You Love Your Body as It Is

These positive self-affirmations can help you love your body as it is right now. If you struggle with your body image, learning to love yourself can make a big difference in your life.

Repeating these positive self-affirmations each day can instill positive habits that help you naturally love your body. Over time, you won’t even need reminders to feel love for what sets you apart from others.

Always remember that your unique qualities are what make you special and beautiful. Know that your body is enough and that you are worthy of respect and kindness. Embrace your body and learn to love it as it is right now.

15 Quotes to Help You Win Your Inner Spiritual War

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Inner spiritual war happens when good and bad thoughts contradict one another. While it sounds like a religious term, the struggle may or may not involve your faith.

Spiritual wars can break out inside anyone, even people who always seem to do the right thing.

These inner wars are personal, and you can only win them on your own. If you can stay confident, believe in yourself, and stay strong throughout, you are sure to win. Plus, if you know that you are doing the right thing, you can lay the negative thoughts to rest.

Fifteen Quotes to Help You Win Your Inner Spiritual War

Sometimes it isn’t as simple as pushing the thoughts away, however. The inner war that you are experiencing can be harder to win than it sounds. When this is the case, remember these quotes to help you win the war.

spiritual war1. “When we pay attention, whatever we are doing is transformed and becomes part of our spiritual path.” – Rick Fields

Focus on what you are doing and what you hope to achieve. When you pay attention, you will do everything better and with more passion. Whatever you are doing will become a part of who you are and who you become.

When you feel like there is a war inside of you, remember this quote. It will help you pay attention to what you are doing right then instead of thinking about other things. This way, you can win your inner war.

2. “You have to expect spiritual warfare whenever you stand up for righteousness or call attention to basic values. It’s just a matter of light battling the darkness. But the light wins every time. You can’t throw enough darkness on light to put it out.” – Thomas Kinkade

You might experience inner war whether you did the right thing or the wrong. Even when you are speaking up for what is right, there will be a battle. As long as you tune into what is good, though, the war will end, and you will know you did what was right.

As Kincade explains, light always wins over darkness. If both are present, feel confident in yourself and know that good will win every time.

3. “When your life is filled with the desire to see the holiness in everyday life, something magical happens: ordinary life becomes extraordinary, and the very process of life begins to nourish your soul!” – Rabbi Harold Kushner

Look for the good things in your life or the world around you. When you do, you will see that there is always something magical happening in your life. Paying attention to the great things around you can help you defeat your inner war quickly.

4. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius

Always be confident and believe in yourself. You are doing great things, and you will achieve so much if you keep this mindset through everything.

It might take you longer than you’d like to reach your goals, but you will get there. All that you have to do is keep moving forward and trust in yourself.

5. “He who has conquered his own coward spirit has conquered the whole outward world.” – Thomas Hughes

Don’t let your worries and fears hold you back. If you want to conquer your inner spiritual war, you must fight through those feelings. Do what is right and do what you believe in, and you will have won the war.

6. “Loving people is the highest level of spiritual warfare that we could ever do.” – Joyce Meyer

If you are experiencing an inner spiritual war, try giving love to others and see what happens. Usually, loving others will provide the help that you need to win the war that is happening inside of you.

Love leads to other good things, and it leads to happiness and peace in your life. As long as you can give love, you can rest assured that you will win the war.

spiritual war7. “The highest education is that which does not merely give us information but makes our life in harmony with all existence.” – Rabindranath Tagore

Keep learning as you go through life, and focus on learning things aligned with your beliefs and values. The best education you can receive is the kind that gives your life meaning and helps you understand things better. This type of learning is a sure way to help you win the war you are battling inside.

8. “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” – Hermann Hesse

Instead of thinking about the spiritual war, you are struggling with, look for the stillness and sanctuary that Hesse describes. If you can find the stillness within yourself, you will always have a safe place to retreat. By finding that place within yourself, you will eliminate any war going on inside of you.

9. “One of the enemy’s sneaky attacks against the joy of our salvation is to put us in the spiral of self-condemnation.” – Linda Evans Shepherd

When you experience an inner war, it is because you’re having negative thoughts about yourself. Let these thoughts and feelings go because believing them will cause you to win the war. You must value and believe in yourself and remain confident if you want to overcome and win.

10. “If fear is cultivated, it will become stronger; if faith is cultivated, it will achieve mastery.” – John Paul Jones

When you want to win your inner spiritual war, you must cultivate your faith. If you cultivate your fears instead, then you will find yourself losing the war. Focus on the aspect that you want to shine through, and you will find that you master that aspect.

11. “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy

When you have a war waging inside of you, you must figure out what needs to change. There is something in your life that you are not fully content with. Once you figure out what that thing is, you can work to change it.

While everyone is busy trying to change the entire world, you can do more by focusing on yourself. There are things about you that you can change to make the world a better place. If you can figure those things out and work to change them, you will find that you have won the war.

12. “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.” – David Elton Trueblood

Many people think that having faith means you believe things without having proof. That isn’t what faith is, however. Instead, faith is fully trusting in something, whether you can see it or not.

If you can trust yourself or a higher power, you will find that the inner war is easier to win. With faith and trust, anything is possible, and you only have to remember it will all work out for the best.

13. “Every victorious warrior draws his strength from the highest source; his love.” – Tapan Ghosh

Love always wins. It wins over hate, war, disdain, and any other negative thing you can think of. If you want to win your inner war, remember to give love as often as you can.

Don’t only give love, but be open to receiving it, as well. With love, you can trust that your life will work out for the best and that you will win the war.

14. “Faith gives you an inner strength and a sense of balance and perspective in life.” – Gregory Peck

With faith, anything is possible. Having faith gives you everything you need to overcome hardship or inner turmoil. It will help you become stronger and gives balance and perspective, as Peck explains.

With all of these benefits of faith, it is easy to see why it helps win inner spiritual wars. If you can stay strong, believe in yourself, and gain perspective, you can surely win the fight.

15. “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” – William Shakespeare

Please don’t rely on anyone else to fulfill your destiny, and don’t expect it to happen by chance. You must do what it takes to reach your full potential. Look inside and remember what you are capable of, and don’t let the war inside convince you that you can’t overcome.

Final Thoughts on Quotes to Help You Win Your Inner Spiritual War

Winning an inner spiritual war is a true accomplishment. It is a war that you can only win alone, and you must have faith in yourself and self-confidence to overcome.

As you work through your inner spiritual war, remember these quotes to help you. They can give you the motivation to overcome any thoughts or feelings that you experience. Remember, if you do what is right, you can win the war every time.

15 Positivity in Life Quotes to Reduce Your Fears

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Feeling afraid once in a while is a part of life, but you can reduce the fear you feel. If you don’t reduce the fear and instead allow it to hold you back, your life won’t be as fulfilled as it could be. To avoid missing out on great things, use these positivity in life quotes to reduce your fears.

Sometimes, fear is a way to signal an unsafe situation but, more often than not, it indicates the unknown. When you step out of your comfort zone to experience new things or opportunities, it is normal to feel afraid. In this instance, you must push through the fear to do what you know will better your life.

If you can reduce your fears and overcome them, you will go on to live the life intended for you. Reducing them can help you become the person you want to be and help you learn and grow. Use the advice and motivation found in these positivity in life quotes to help you get through.

Fifteen Positivity in Life Quotes to Reduce Your Fears

Don’t miss out on the best things in life. Read these wise words to muster your courage.

positivity in life quotes1. “Everything you have ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” – George Addair

If you don’t overcome your fears and get through them, you won’t get what you want out of life. Push through, face your fears, and know that it will all be well worth it.

2. “Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie

When you are afraid of something, it is because you don’t fully understand it. Take the time to learn about the things you don’t understand so you can reduce your fears. Keep an open mind as you try to understand things, and you will overcome your fears even quicker.

3. “Fears are educated into us, and can if we wish, be educated out.” – Karl A. Menninger

Sometimes you will learn to be afraid of something, but you can change that. Learn more about what you’re scared of and work to understand it. Then, you will notice that the fear doesn’t overcome you or hold you back any longer.

4. “Fear and anxiety many times indicates that we are moving in a positive direction, out of the safe confines of our comfort zone, and in the direction of our true purpose.” – Charles F. Glassman

If you feel fearful, remember that it usually means you are heading down the right path. Moving outside of your comfort zone is sure to cause fear, but know that it helps you move forward. By stepping out of your comfort zone and overcoming fear, you can live the life that is meant for you.

5. “If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

You will never reduce your fears if you don’t do anything about them. Staying home to avoid what you are afraid of will only cause the fear to become worse. Get out there and face your fears so that you can overcome them.

Each time you face your fear, you will be a little closer to eliminating the fear. Keep putting yourself out there even when it is uncomfortable so that you can reduce your fears.

6. “Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” -C. JoyBell C.

When you are afraid, it can be an indicator that something is important to you. Don’t let your fear scare you out of trying new things or moving forward. Instead, embrace the feeling and remember that whatever is coming will be worth it.

7. “Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don’t go out on the branch, you’re never going to get the best fruit.” – Sarah Parish

Sometimes taking risks is beneficial to you. It can help you find new opportunities, try new things, and live a more fulfilling life. Don’t let fear hold you back because it is the only way to experience the best things in life.

motivational quote8. “Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.” – Robert Tew

You are stronger than you realize, and you can get through any situation that you find yourself in. Trust that you are making the right decisions, and you will notice that your fears reduce drastically. When you can trust in yourself, you will know that you will survive anything.

9. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is normal to feel afraid sometimes, but you must face your fears. As you face your fears, you will become stronger, more courageous, and more confident with yourself.

When you keep going despite your fears, you can use it as a stepping stone for more things to come. You will be more prepared for whatever comes next, and you will be more resilient.

10. “When you confront the monster you fear the most, you’ll defeat your fears.”
David D. Burns

One sure way to reduce your fear to confront and overcome them. Letting your fears hold you back or avoiding them will only cause them to get worse.

Don’t let what you are afraid of hold you back. Get out there and confront your fears so that you can truly live your life.

11. “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” – Jim Morrison

If you want to eliminate your fears, do as Morrison suggests and expose yourself to them. Each time you face your fears, you will become less afraid of doing it again. As time goes on, you will notice that your fear is gone, and it no longer lingers in your mind.

Once fear loses its power over you, then you no longer have to worry about it. By overcoming your fear, you will feel like you have been set free, so keep working on it.

12. “Fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe; it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” -Donald Miller

While sometimes fear can be an indicator that something is unsafe, that isn’t always the case. Feeling afraid is often a manipulative mindset that holds you back from doing new things or moving forward.

An easy way to tell the difference is to ask yourself whether you are currently in danger. If the answer is ‘no,’ you should face your fear and experience whatever is coming next.

13. “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

Courageous and brave people still experience fear sometimes, but they overcome it. They face their fears and know that the discomfort they experience will lead to something much better. Facing your fears is the way to live the life you have always dreamed of.

 14. “I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” – Steve Maraboli

When you feel afraid, take a step back and reassess the situation. Remember that nothing is as bad as it initially seems, as Maraboli explains. You can work through any problem, so overwhelming yourself with fear and negativity won’t help.

Instead, please take a deep breath and figure out a way to deal with and face it. You can overcome any fear if you remember this positivity in life quotes to reduce your fears.

15. “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

If you can’t seem to overcome the fear that you feel, make a decision. By making a decision, your fear will reduce because you know what you are doing next. While it may not completely erase your fears, it will help minimize them so that you can feel a little better.

Final Thoughts on Positivity in Life Quotes to Reduce Your Fears

It is normal to feel fearful sometimes in life, but reducing those fears is essential. By reducing them, you will allow yourself to experience life, try new things, and continually better yourself. When you begin to feel fearful, remember these positivity in life quotes to reduce your fears.

These positivity in life quotes will help you remember why you must keep pushing forward. The quotes will also help you trust in yourself as you do things that seem uncomfortable at first.

The only way to reduce your fear to avoid letting them control your life and face them directly. It won’t be easy initially, but the more you put yourself out there and face your fears, the more your fears diminish.

What Chemicals Are in Plastic Toys? Here’s What Researchers Found

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Ever since plastic was invented in the late 19th century, plastic toys have been a big hit with children all over the world. Plastic made toys more affordable, which meant that even lower-income families could get a toy for their children. However, plastic has made quite a journey when it comes to safety. Unfortunately, that journey has not come to an end.

These days, plastic is used for almost everything you can think of. It’s hard to find a toy that doesn’t have some plastic in it. However, plastic is a human-made material and contains a lot of chemicals.

Toy Regulations in the United States of America

plastic toysPlastics used to contain a lot of harmful chemicals before governments stepped in and started regulating the industry. However, it wouldn’t be until the 20th century that the United States had a toy regulation law. In the United States, the first national standard for toys was signed into law by President Richard Nixon in 1969.

This law didn’t specifically target plastic toys. It targeted all toys and dealt with more physical safety concerns, such as toys shattered easily or too sharp.

Finally, in 2008, The Standard Consumer Safety Specification for Toy Safety was signed into law. This act stated that all toys must be tested and certified to meet the ASTM F963-17 standard. This standard banned many of the harmful chemicals in plastic.

Unfortunately, there are still many chemicals in plastic. You also have to be concerned that they could be different from country to country. That was the focus of the study done by researchers at the Technical University of Denmark in conjunction with researchers from the University of Michigan and the UN Environment. They discovered that some plastic toys could have over 100 harmful chemicals in them.

Details of the Study

The results of the research were published in volume 146 of Environmental International.

Researchers first noted that it’s difficult to find plastic toys’ chemical makeup since manufacturers aren’t always required to list them. Therefore they ended up using data from 25 peer-reviewed studies. They grouped the toys into three general plastic groups – hard, soft, and foam.

While they did estimate the exposure that western children had to these plastic toys, that was not the study’s focus. The focus was specifically on how many unique chemicals they found in these toys and how many were on regulatory lists of concern.

The lists that they used were the European Toy Safety Directive 2009/48/EC, the European Candidate List of substances of very high concern for Authorisation (SVHC), the CalSafer Candidate list, and the California Proposition 65 list. The numbers of chemicals that they found on these lists were staggering.

The researchers found 419 different chemicals in 619 different chemical-material combinations. They divided these chemicals into four groups:

  • High-risk chemicals on the regulatory lists of concerns from their studies and other studies
  • High-risk chemicals not on the regulatory lists of concerns but still are listed as a concern in their study.
  • Low-risk chemicals on the regulatory lists of concerns
  • Chemicals on the regulatory lists of concerns that don’t have exposure/toxicity estimates

The list ended up containing 126 chemicals of the 419 that they found in the toys. Out of that 126, they found 31 plasticizers, 18 flame retardants, and eight fragrances. Out of the 126 chemicals, 19 of them were extremely high-risk chemicals. Sixteen of these were listed on the regulatory lists of concerns.

plastic toysWhy These Chemicals are Being Used in Toys

The biggest problem with these regulatory lists of concern is that there is no one central, international agreement about what is acceptable and not. Each country has its plan. There are a few chemicals that are obvious bans everywhere, but there is still a plethora of other substances on that list to consider.

Even worse, many of the chemicals haven’t been tested to see if they harm people. Without any conclusive data, they remain off of almost every list.

Without a watchful eye (the government) regulating them, manufacturers continue to use chemicals that may be harmful. It’s a widespread global issue that doesn’t get nearly as much attention as it should.

How You Can Protect Your Children

The best way to protect your children from harmful chemicals in plastic is not to buy them plastic toys. However, that’s easier said than done. There isn’t a large abundance of wooden toys, the most popular toys that kids want do not come from wood, and wood toys are expensive. Kids can play climbing arch to improve their motor skills and coordination skills, which is perfect and safe for them.

It’s not practical to avoid buying toys made of plastic in this day and age. Therefore, you’ll have to be a smart, informed parent when it comes to plastic. There are a few things about plastic that you should be aware of when you shop for toys. At the very least, you can make sure the plastic meets your country’s standards.

BPA-Free Plastic

There has been an entire movement against Bisphenol A, better known as BPA. More often than not, when a product contains plastic or is packaged in plastic, you’ll see it labeled as BPA-free. There is no hard law that says manufacturers can’t use it, but many manufacturers are electing to bypass this chemical for good reasons.

BPA is mostly found in plastics that are used to store or package food. This includes polycarbonate plastics and epoxy resins.

Scientists and researchers have shown that BPA can have very negative consequences on children’s health, especially the brain of fetuses. However, the U.S. Federal Drug Administration (FDA) has deemed BPA as safe at low levels. That’s why the substance isn’t banned. Luckily, many manufacturers are taking the ban into their own hands by not using it in their products.

Unfortunately, not all manufacturers label their BPA-free products as such, so you still won’t know whether they have BPA unless you see the recycling number of the plastic. For most polycarbonate containers, the recycling number will be on the bottom or somewhere on the box. If it’s a 7, it probably contains BPA.

Not all containers marked as 7 are polycarbonate, so you’ll need to check for one more thing. If the box is labeled unbreakable or microwave-safe, it probably has BPA. On the other hand, if the container is marked as 1, 2, or 4, it’s perhaps BPA-free.

Switch to Wood Toys and Shatter-proof Glass Storage Containers

Earlier it was stated that it’s not practical to think you’ll get away from all plastic products. However, you can cut down on the amount of plastic you have in your home. Some ways you can do that include using shatter-proof glass storage containers, replacing some toys with wooden toys, and buying things made from organic cotton or hemp.

These materials may be of better quality anyway. Since they cost a little more than plastic, you’ll probably need to extend your budget a little, but it’s better than getting something that could potential make your child sick.

Wait Until They’re Older to Give Them Plastic Toys

Contamination from most chemicals in plastic would happen due to ingestion over a length of time. This happens quite often because young children put the toys in their mouths. This is an entirely standard action – it’s how babies explore the world around them. It shouldn’t be interrupted by contaminated plastic.

Older kids know better than to put toys in their mouths (although there is no guarantee they won’t do it anyway). Their immune systems are also better developed. Although the immune system can’t battle it out with a chemical, it might help your child fight the symptoms.

An ASTM International Label

If you’re in the United States, you’ll be checking your plastic against the ASTM International standards. If plastic is labeled with this, it doesn’t have any harmful substances that the government has banned. Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean it’s BPA-free, but you can at least relax knowing that it is free of the other stuff.

Final Thoughts on the Chemicals in Children’s Plastic Toys

This article wasn’t meant to scare you out of buying plastic toys. There are plenty of toys made from plastic on the market that isn’t going to harm your child. Plus, if your child is old enough to know not to put the toy in their mouth, they’ll be much less likely to get contaminated.

Toys that are made from plastic fit into everyone’s budget. They are colorful and fun, and kids love them. There are a lot more positive points on toys made from plastic than negative points.

There hasn’t been much research into how much kids are being contaminated from toys made of plastic, but right now, the numbers are relatively low. While the risk is down, you can still opt to be a good parent and heed the advice above. After all, low-risk or not, it never hurts to be more safe than sorry.

12 Behaviors That Reveal a Self-Absorbed Person

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Do you have a self-absorbed person in your life? It can be a friend, a loved one, or a love interest. Assume you just met this wonderful woman and started dating.

You’ve noticed that she spends plenty of your conversations talking about herself and all the things she’s accomplished. Every time she enters a venue, she gazes around to see who is checking her out. She’s just waiting for someone to admire her looks.

Perhaps, you’ve met a man that seems to be a real charmer. The only problem is that every time you try to talk to him about your life and issues, the conversation always gets turned back to him. You long for someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on, but he is so self-absorbed that he can’t even consider your feelings.

Many people feel that they’re interrupting a theater production when they are around someone who is self-absorbed. They feel like they’re the supporting cast to the main character, which is one difficult show.

Understanding A Self-Absorbed Person

self-absorbedThese people have massive egos, and no one likes to be around them for long periods. They crave attention and always desire others to give them accolades to pump their ego. If given a chance, this individual can wear you out.

While this person wants plenty of praise and attention, they can’t see beyond themselves to give you those things in return. They’re so consumed with themselves that they hardly notice anyone else.

It’s not that they don’t listen to you, but it’s that they don’t know-how. These individuals lack empathy, but they crave attention so much that it becomes the basis for their self-esteem. Sadly, their actions make you feel unimportant.

Most people overlook these behaviors initially, but as time goes on, you notice that they’re not as attractive or fun to be around as they once were. Some experts even classify the self-absorb as a narcissist in the making, and this journey is one you don’t want to take as it brings nothing but pain and heartache.

Twelve Behaviors of the Self-Centered Person

If you’re with a man or woman who you feel might be a bit too self-centered, you may be looking for clues as you feel something is off. Do they have high self-esteem with great confidence, or are they a narcissist? Here are the most common behaviors of the self-absorbed person.

1. Always Taking Selfies

Sure, selfies have become commonplace in today’s world, but this person carries it to the extreme. No matter where you go, they always see it as an occasion to take a picture of themselves.

It’s not even the pictures that bother you as much as the way they go about it. They think that the whole world wants to see every move they make.

2. Listening Is An Issue

It seems that this person isn’t good at listening to others. You can talk to them for an hour and feel like you barely get a word in the conversation. Whenever you start a conversation that discusses your needs, you’re always interrupted by a tale of their accomplishments, or perhaps they try to one-up you and share how their needs are even more important.

3. Interrupting Others

Not only is this person a terrible listener, but they will also interrupt others when they’re speaking. They feel that what they have to say is much more important than the other person. So, they will cut people off to interject their opinions.

4. One-Sided Relationships

The selfish person will expect you to drop whatever you’re doing and come running to them in their time of need. However, don’t expect the same in return. They want people to cater to them when the world is crashing all around, but they will be too busy when it’s your turn for a shoulder to cry on.

5. Everything is a Big Deal

To the self-centered person, everything in their world is a massive ordeal. Even having a bad day is cause for drinks that night. They thrive on drama, and if there isn’t any going on, they will create some just for attention.

feelings6. Lying Comes Easy

A self-centered person needs to be glamourous and more influential than the rest. So, this person is not above lying to give the appearance that they’re more wonderful. They will inflate job titles, people they’re friends with, and the amount of money they have.

7. The Inner Circle Is Carefully Chosen

Remember, a selfish person is very manipulative. They choose their friends based on what their friends can do for them. They will select people who are up and coming in the world or get them where they want to be.

Each person they allow into their inner circle is handpicked to further their agenda. No, this person doesn’t like you, but they want what you can do for them. If you notice these traits, then you need to run away from them quickly.

8. Family Business is Off Limits

One bizarre thing you may notice about this person is that they won’t discuss their family with you. You may have known them for months or even years, and they won’t say one thing about their relatives.

When you observe the avoidance of family, it’s often caused by poor relationships. While they may not have any family still living, the chances are that their family doesn’t associate with them because of how they act. It’s always a red flag when a guy or girl won’t allow you to meet at least one member of their family.

9. Lot of Rules

The self-absorbed person will often have a lot of rules for you to follow. They’re very particular about where they will shop, eat, and who they will be seen with. They may require that dinner is at 5 o’clock shark every night, and they may require that you only wear a specific color in public.

The real issue is that the self-centered person is very controlling. They try to monopolize your life, and they feel better about themselves when you listen to their demands.

10. Gaslighting

If this person feels that you’re onto their games or that you have discovered a lie, then they have no problem turning the tables on you. See, their esteem doesn’t allow them to be anything other than perfect, so if you try to call them out on an error, then they will turn it back on you.

Being in a relationship with this person can be downright torture as they can twist facts and have you believing things you know are not right. Gaslighting is dangerous, and it can have serious implications for your mental wellbeing.

11. No Empathy

Assume that you just lost your job, and you don’t know how you’re going to make it. You would expect that your boyfriend or girlfriend would be compassionate about the situation. However, to your shock and amazement, they don’t even seem to care.

They quickly brush off your feelings of loss and move the topic back to themselves. When they have a crisis, they expect the world to stop. However, they have no empathy for you and your problems, and you’re lucky if you even see any signs of sympathy either.

12. Very Opinionated

This person is usually very opinionated, and they cannot even open their mind long enough to see anyone else’s point of view. They will push their beliefs and morals on you, as they feel it’s the only viewpoint to have about the matter.

They don’t care what anyone else feels or believes, as their opinion is the only one that counts.

self-absorbedFinal Thoughts on the Self-Absorbed Person

The problem with self-centered people is that they cannot see the big picture. Their world is exceedingly small and only consists of their needs and desires. These are very imposing individuals who use words like “must” in everyday conversation.

If you would peel back all the layers of this complex personality, you will find many hurts. Becoming self-absorbed usually happens when people have been so hurt in life that they feel they must stick up for themselves. What you see is a very selfish, manipulative, and controlling person, but what’s on the inside might shock you.

These larger-than-life personalities are often camouflaging a bruised self-esteem and a low ego. They don’t tell you that they may have witnessed trauma or could be the victim of some abuse. If they grew up in a home where one or both parents had substance abuse issues, they likely suffered from neglect.

A way for them to cope with the things that happened to them is to repair their feelings of self-worth. This coping mechanism they’ve developed is what’s keeping them from a total meltdown. It’s hard to repair the damage done by time and incident, but it can be done.

Before you get too involved in a relationship like this, you need to know the amount of attention and work required. Can true love fix everything? No; however, many self-centered people can deal with their issues and make changes before developing a narcissistic personality disorder.

10 Reasons to Stop Waiting for Love and Be Happy Now

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Did you know that the average age for a first marriage is now 29 years old? According to Brides, people are waiting longer to make the trip down the aisle. In the 1920s, the average age was 21, so why are people waiting for love and putting off their happiness?

These days, many people are choosing to live together before tying the knot. However, women also have careers and busy lives, which wasn’t the case in the 1920s. Most people want to graduate from college, have a nice nest egg, and support themselves should something happen.

Honestly, the divorce rates are scary for anyone considering becoming part of the proverbial ball and chain, so it seems only natural to want to wait, or does it? Waiting for love may not be the best choice for your happiness or mental health. Many people go through the college years while being hitched, and their love is no different than anyone else.

Sure, they may struggle with finances a bit more, but being with someone to have and to hold in all the darkest days of your life isn’t a bad thing. If you’ve put love on the back burner, then perhaps it’s time that you reconsider this choice once you learn some facts.

Ten Reasons to Stop Waiting for Love (and be happier right now!)

waiting for loveSome folks like to procrastinate with their love life. They want to put off this event until the right time. However, is there ever the perfect time to fall in love?

Sometimes things come along when you least expect them, and it might be bad for you to stop a relationship that could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Here are some reasons why waiting for love is a bad idea.

1. You Develop Anxiety Over the Future

The average person has two primary goals in life, to have a promising career and find someone to spend their life with. When you deny yourself a relationship based on the 100 reasons you’ve identified in your mind, then you’re causing yourself useless anxiety.

The longer you put off entering the dating pool, the more you delay the chances of having your happily ever after. It’s only normal to have some anxiety about remaining single when others are getting hitched. Human beings need companionship, and you’re doing yourself no favors to delay this basic need.

2. You’re Putting Off Your Dreams

Do you dream of a house with a white picket fence and a few kids to love? Why put off your dreams when you can have everything you need right now? Why wait for those special moments and sharing your life with someone when you can start your life now?

No rule says you must have everything together when you find love. Part of growing as a couple is weathering life’s storms. If everyone had it all together, then why would you need anyone else in your life?

3. The Many Sleepless Nights

How many nights do you lie in bed alone and longing for companionship? One of the best parts about having a relationship is having someone to snuggle with at night. Not only is snuggling important, but romance is an essential part of life.

When you deny yourself the sexual pleasures that your body craves, it’s only harming you. According to Study Finds, those who have an active sex life have greater job satisfaction, and if you’re career-minded, it might be the boost you need.

4. Jealousy Over Friends and Family Members

You’ve determined that waiting for love is the best answer for you. However, why is it that you feel a twinge of jealousy every time you get an invitation for a wedding, baby shower, or another type of celebration? Plus, they always ask you to bring a date to these events, and you don’t even have anyone to consider.

If you put off finding your soul mate, then you can cause yourself big problems because you will always be the odd man out. There’s no need to be jealous of friends who took the plunge when you don’t have to wait to find your other half.

5. Psychological Torment

Not only will you experience psychological torment as you have needs that aren’t being taken care of, but your brain chemistry can be off too. When you’re under any anxiety or stress, it gives you higher than normal adrenaline levels and cortisol and can reduce dopamine and serotonin. Why torment yourself when there is the perfect person out there just waiting for you?

Some say that when you find your soul mate, you fit together like a sock and shoe, so why do you want to deny yourself this incredible feeling?

trust in a relationship6. Biological Clock

Since people are waiting until the average age of 29, it gives their biological clock less time to do its thing. The average childbearing years are 21-34. According to Pregnancy and Baby, delaying pregnancy only increases the risk of compilations.

Yet, the average age of giving birth is increasing. In 2002, more than 236 babies were born to women between the ages of 50-54. While it’s acceptable to have a child during middle age, you have more energy to run after a toddler when you’re younger. This decision boils down to a personal choice, but the great news is that you can make that choice.

7. Pressure from Family and Friends

Don’t you love all the pressure you get from family and friends to find love? Some of your inner circle might be inclined to try to fix you up with people they know. Many folks have a natural matchmaking ability, and they will fix you up with every man or woman they can think of.

Does this scenario sound familiar? You go to a family get-together where all your relatives come with their families. You’re alone, and people automatically assume you’re sad.

You haven’t been there ten minutes before you get the first inquiry about your love life. Everyone wants to know when you will find love and why you’re waiting so long? Then comes the list of potential folks to date.

Why put yourself through all this torment when you can enjoy your life with someone who completes you. There’s no more incredible feeling than being in love and having a good relationship.

8. You’re Not Missing Out on Companionship

Having someone who is “your person” is remarkable. You deserve someone to go to the movies with or to have a romantic candlelight dinner. Having companionship with an important person is about way more than romance.

It would help if you had somebody who wants to hear about your day, and they care that you made it to and from work safely. You want to feel that security that comes with knowing that your loved and adored by someone who only has eyes for you. It’s one of the essentials that a man or woman needs in life, to love and be loved in return.

9. Negativity Creeps In

If you’re waiting for love, you may be sidetracked by negativity in other’s relationships. For instance, if you watch your friends and family members get divorced and go through intense struggles, it can alter your perceptions of love. Don’t let other people’s experiences dictate yours.

One of the biggest problems with waiting is that negativity can creep in and skew your view of relationships and marriage.

10. Developing “Old Maid” Syndrome

If you don’t pursue your goal of finding your soul mate, you may become too comfortable being alone. According to Merriam Webster, an old maid was often considered anyone over 25 who wasn’t married. These days, the age has increased to 40.

It’s easy to become satisfied when you’re used to being alone. You may build a life that is comfortable without anyone else in it. While you tell yourself that if further complicates things, you don’t know how good love can feel unless you experience it.

waiting for loveFinal Thoughts on Waiting for Love

You want to pursue your goals and have a career and be financially secure before finding love, but life is full of time and chance. Your desire to have everything in your life all neat and tidy will probably never come true. There is no perfect time to find your soul mate, and it’s often best to leave things to fate.

There is someone out there that the universe made for you. They can complete your sentences, calm you when you’re sad, and bring a smile to your face. They’re the type of person who will make the world as you know it a better place to be.

While waiting for love seems like the smart thing to do, remind yourself that you can’t wait too long. You might let one of the most incredible opportunities in your life pass you by because you’re not emotionally ready for a relationship. Sure, you can be happy single, but you can also live-in pure bliss with the person who is your soul mate.

Why not pursue your goals together and build the life you’ve always imagined? There’s something out there waiting for you.

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