Do you know how to spot a narcissist? As you navigate through life, learning how to identify this manipulative person is of the utmost importance. The last thing you need is to get involved with someone who has more problems than a math book and treats you horribly.
Sure, they’re all charming and say just the right things in the beginning. However, please don’t get too comfortable with their charm and charisma because this ruse can only last for so long. They don’t want to be with you for anything other than to further their agenda.
The narcissist doesn’t have good relationships with people, and some might say these manipulators have an expiration date. They can only be good for so long, and once people figure out their true colors, they will move on to their next victim. It’s the stuff the movies are made of, but you want to make sure no one is ever writing a script about the horrors of your life.
To Spot a Narcissist, You Must First Understand the Mindset
Before you know how to spot a narcissist, you should understand the driving force behind this person. In most cases, these individuals became manipulative because they had something happen to them that changed their view of the world around them and themselves. They could be victims of some abuse or have been involved in a trauma.
They’ve developed an “I’ll get them before they get me” type of attitude. All the behaviors you see coming from the manipulator are just an effort to ease their bruised self-esteem. While they may love themselves more than anyone else, the truth is that they have exceptionally low self-worth.
Now, when you tangle with someone like this in the dating world, you will probably be instantly attracted to them. See, they’ve perfected their game, and they know just the right things to say and do to make you putty in their hands. Due to their keen manipulative abilities, you must be on guard.
How to Spot A Narcissist Through Revealing Behaviors
If you want to protect yourself from friends or love interests who are manipulative, you should learn the common red flags. Here are ten ways to spot a narcissist so you can avoid getting involved in their drama.
1. They’re Bigger and Better Than You
Have you ever met someone that always has to one-up you? These individuals can never let anyone have anything better than them as it hurts their pride. If you got a raise on your job, they’ve already had two increases. They seem always to have the right words to say to make you feel less than so that they feel greater than.
2. They Flock to The Vulnerable
Do you remember the classic tale of the Three Little Pigs? The big, bad wolf was going to huff and puff and blow the pig’s house down. The pigs had homes built from hay, sticks, and bricks. The first two pigs couldn’t stand against the wolf, but the third pig had a substantial house, and it was secure enough to save the others.
The wolf immediately went to the pigs whose homes were the most vulnerable. The selfish person looks for the same things when they’re on the prowl. They want the person that is an easy target so that they can further their agenda.
Since they are incapable of having meaningful relationships, they will use you to get the finances, notoriety, or to fulfill their sexual desires. One of their classic behaviors is to seek out vulnerable people who’ve been unlucky in love or just been through a rough time and need a shoulder to lean on.
3. They Dominate the Conversation
The fine art of conversation is a skill that isn’t developed overnight. It takes time to cultivate the ability to converse back and forth without talking over one another. However, if you want to spot a narcissist, it’s the person that is constantly talking over you and interrupting you so that you can’t get a word into the conversation.
You may find that trying to talk to this individual is impossible because they won’t let you.
4. They’re Loud and Proud
One would think that a manipulator would be quiet and unpretentious, but the self-centered person often tends to be loud and vibrant. They want all eyes on them rather than cowering in fear in a corner. True to their personality, they would rather be the life of the party.
5. They Shy Away from Conversations About Family and Friends
If you want to hit a sore spot with any manipulator, then talk about relationships. These individuals rarely have a large inner circle because they alienate so many people along the way. Even relatives don’t want anything to do with them because their manipulative ways have burned them.
If you want to spot a self-centered person with relationship issues, start asking them about their family and friends and see how they act.
6. They’re Very Secretive
A narcissist has many secrets they keep, and they don’t want you getting into their business. This person will often keep their phone locked down tighter than Fort Knox, and they will be very indiscrete when talking on the phone or texting. Sadly, you may not be the only person they’re trying to use.
7. They Belittle You
Once the manipulator has you in their clutches, they will start letting down the charming façade that lured you in. One way that they will try to control you is by belittling you. It’s a classic manipulation tactic that is geared towards getting you to do what they want.
Never let someone put you down or call you names, no matter how charming they appear. You are worth more than that, and you don’t need that kind of a pain in your life. They will destroy you mentally and make you think that you cannot do anything right.
Remember, a selfish person is very fearful of losing their possessions, even people. If you live with this person, they may insist on security system cameras in most rooms as well as cell phone trackers. Sure, they will use the ruse that it’s for your safety, but they want to keep a good eye on what you’re doing.
9. They Alienate You from Family and Friends
If you don’t see through the games, they’re playing, and they are sure that your family and friends will. So, they will do everything in their power to be your one and only.
They don’t want you hanging with others who might call out their manipulative ways. The more people you’re around, the more their house of cards stands a risk of tumbling down.
10. “Takes” Often, “Gives” Little
The hard part for good and honest people to comprehend is that this person is using them. They make it seem like you two are a match made in heaven, but they’re just using you. Narcissists want to get as much as they can from you but don’t expect them to give anything in return.
They want your money, time, attention, and you to come running when a crisis comes their way. However, when you need them, they will be conveniently unavailable. They are the masters of one-sided relationships.
11. They Brag A lot
Their self-inflated views of their life can’t be ignored. They want everyone to know how powerful, wealthy, and the great success they’ve become. They will talk about all their wealth and accomplishments and name drop all the high class in their ranks.
It’s quite annoying to talk to this person because they make themselves appear so high and mighty that you will feel inferior to them.
12. They Lie
One of the ways you can spot a narcissist is that their stories don’t add up. They have a lot of bull they feed people, but if you dig into their lives, you will find that most of what they tell is fabricated. Sure, there may be some truths mingled amongst the lies, but most of what you hear is pure garbage.
These individuals are often pathological or habitual liars.
If you’ve ever watched any of those made for television movies about relationships gone wrong, then you know about narcissistic behaviors. Maybe you’ve experienced a manipulator in your personal life and know the pain they leave behind. It would help if you remembered that this person is broken beyond what you can see, and they need in-depth psychological help.
Don’t ever think that you can fix them or be the love that changes their ways, as most of the time, you will be another victim in their portfolio. You must know how to spot narcissists so you can protect yourself from all the pain and psychological damage that comes along with this master manipulator.