Have you ever felt negative energy from someone without exactly knowing what it was? The undercover narcissist may have been at work…
A narcissist may have pent-up hostile feelings towards people that have more success than they do. They look at someone who’s popular and smart as a threat to who they are and how others perceive them.
Narcissists are usually indifferent towards other people and are characterized by dominance, arrogance, self-centeredness, and manipulation of other people for self-promotion. They usually display little to no caring or emotional sympathy.
They have a strong wish to be liked by individuals whom they see to be inferior to them, but particularly by people they consider superior. When liked, the narcissist’s emotions of superiority will likely explode.
Humans are good at keeping our emotions and feelings close to the vest. While social networks are making the sharing of secrets more common, narcissists have and will always love getting out in the open just to get everyone’s attention.
It can be annoying and sometimes difficult to socialize with a narcissist. They monopolize people’s time, keep the conversation focused on them and have no problem sharing all of their greatest achievements in a “what have you done lately?” way. When we are around a narcissist, it can feel as if everything revolves around them.
Vulnerability and arrogance are trademarks of a true narcissist. They are adept at playing the character necessary to focus the attention on them. Narcissists are not usually shy about their wish to be the center of attention, and it’s pretty common knowledge they like to speak about themselves to make them seem more important or relevant than they are.
So what’re we to do? How can we protect ourselves from narcissists if they are so proficient at slipping into our daily lives unnoticed?
Here are three ways to spot an undercover narcissist:
1. Narcissists like to seduce.
Emotionally, spiritually, physically; seduction is a narcissist’s tool. Narcissists play on heightened emotions to engage you in behaviors that benefit them. Narcissists gather people that will serve their need to be the center of attention, whether this is through a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or a strategic partnership. They make being with them fun and exciting at first. Then they shift the focus of the relationship onto them and their needs.
2. These folks move fast.
They get you hooked fast through sweet talk and a false sense of interest. That is how they build trust and form a bond. It enables them to use us emotionally once the real motive of the relationship becomes clear.
Among the simpler ways to find a hidden narcissist is to look for simple signs that show somebody only appears worried if something or someone will affect their image. Narcissists struggle with maintaining the “right kind” of associations because appearances are everything to them, and they care what other people think about them.
Take note of your friends’ feelings when you recommend something. Undercover narcissists could harshly react when they don’t agree with you or when criticized. Saying no to a narcissist could be interpreted as them being discarded, and negative behaviors will often manifest.
3. Take note of their money mentions.
Sick and tired of listening to your friend’s endless designer buys? Narcissists place an importance on material things. They like to talk about the amazing things they have and do so in a way that hints they may be better than us. However, it’s just a way to inflate their self-worth.
If a narcissist feels they do not quite measure up to the people around them in term of fame or status, they start talking about money. Money to them is a way of elevating their standing and their importance.
Keep in mind, they always want to be number one. Thus, anybody who threatens their perceived place can cause narcissists to behave in rude and dismissive ways to protect their self-esteem.
Beware when you hear somebody change gears mid-discussion from their brand-new car to just how much they spent on that car. They are not trying to discuss their financial situation; they are using money and status to make them seem important.
Individuals who are successful, attractive, intelligent or popular will most likely receive the most attention from the narcissist since the narcissist aims to build their self-image.
Final Thoughts on Spotting an Undercover Narcissist
These are only a few ways a narcissist might behave before we develop a relationship with them. Once this toxic person is certain he has captured us, he’ll use us to further his agenda and build his self-worth.
The best way to flush out a narcissist is to listen to your gut. If something seems off when you meet an overly-enthusiastic person who wants to be best friends immediately, then it probably is.