Have you ever encountered a selfish person who is manipulative and has many toxic traits that drive you mad? There are many different people in the sea of life, and some of the folks you encounter tend to be more dangerous than others. Perhaps you have some narcissistic traits of your own that you would like to work on.
Narcissists are considered to have a toxic personality because they use others for their gain. They often lack viable relationships because they’re so caught up in their life that they can’t help anyone else. Getting entangled with this person in the dating world or otherwise can be troublesome.
25 Toxic Traits of the Narcissist
Maybe you think the person you’re dating is a bit manipulative and possibly toxic, or you may have a friend or family member that you consider a narcissist. Here are the top 25 signs that you’re dealing with someone who is narcissistic, manipulative, and selfish.
Narcissists will do anything they can to tear others down. If they feel someone is looking better than them or accomplishing more, they will try to destroy their self-esteem in one blow.
2. They Have Bouts of Excessive Rage
When things don’t go the way the manipulative person thinks they should, or if they’re about to get caught in their schemes, then lookout. These individuals have toxic traits, like excessive rage, and can blow at a moment’s notice. They can become quite scary when they’re about to be uncovered, and you don’t want to be in the path of their wrath.
3. They Never Say They’re Sorry
Even if they are in the wrong, it’s unlikely you will get an apology. In fact, if you do get an apology out of them, chances are they will turn things around to use it further to manipulate you.
4. They Don’t Take Accountability for Their Actions
Even if you caught them red-handed doing something wrong, it’s unlikely they will take accountability for their actions. They may blame you for overreacting and claim it’s “not THAT bad”, or they may blame someone else entirely than take the fall.
5. They Have an Inflated Self-Worth
The toxic personality comes across to others as if there is no one greater who makes more money, is more intelligent, or is more accomplished than themselves. However, deep down, there are feelings of inadequacy that they don’t share, and they really have low self-worth.
6. They Sabotage Those Who Are Flourishing
If you have a narcissist at your place of employment, then you need to steer clear of them. If they see that you’re doing better than they are, then they will do anything to sabotage your success. They will lie, cheat, steal, and blame it on you, to make you look bad.
7. They’re Verbally Abusive
If everything is going their way, the manipulative person is okay. However, if things start becoming rocky for them, they can become verbally abusive. Some will resort to physical violence as well.
8. They Expect You to Drop Everything When They’re in Need
Should they have a need, or their life is in crisis mode, they expect you to drop everything you have going on to assist them. Just don’t expect the same courtesy in return as their needs always trump yours, and they don’t have time for your drama.
9. They Gaslight Others
They can make you question your sanity, especially if they feel that it will benefit them. According to Medical News Today, gaslighting is a common form of psychological abuse, whereas the manipulator can make another individual doubt their sanity.
10. They’re Often Pathologically Liars
These individuals are such good liars that they often believe what they’re telling you. They can convince almost anyone that what they’re saying is the truth, finding it difficult to trust anything they say.
11. They Sabotage Most Relationships
One of the hallmark toxic traits of someone selfish is that they’re unable to keep relationships. It’s always a red flag when a person doesn’t have any family or friends in their life. If they don’t even have one friend or family member in their life, you need to take this as a warning.
12. They Exaggerate Your Flaws
Since this person suffers from low self-esteem, they want to overcompensate by making you feel bad. Even the slightest imperfection in you will become a significant point to focus on for them.
This personality type is often confused with someone who has bipolar. According to the National Institute of Health, bipolar disorder has marked periods of mania and depression. When someone runs hot and cold, you never know what the day will bring.
14. They Show No Empathy
Empathy is not their strong suit, so don’t expect the manipulator to try to comfort you in your times of sorrow. However, they will expect you to comfort them.
15. They Use Manipulative Tactics Like the Silent Treatment
The selfish personality’s toxic traits will often use manipulative tactics to get you to do what they want. When you don’t cave to their commands, they will use silent treatment or withhold sex and intimacy.
16. They Love to Name Drop and Piggyback on Someone Success
If you listen to how they talk, you will think that they run with Hollywood’s elite. They name drop as they belong to a group of the up and coming, and they will step on anyone’s toes to climb the corporate ladder.
17. Their (Often Loud) Need to Be Center of Attention
At a party or other group setting, this person makes their presence known. They often talk louder so that everyone hears them, and they often have a commanding presence that’s hard to ignore.
18. They Love to Gossip
Gossip is a strong suit of selfish people because they love this method to get information. If gossiping isn’t enough, they use the information they learn to further their agenda.
19. They Engage in Relational Aggression
One of the toxic traits of a manipulator is that they often engage in relational aggression. If you don’t do what they want when they want it, you will face their fury.
20. They Interrupt Conversations to Talk About Themselves
If you try to talk to this person about what’s going on in your life, they will often interrupt you with the happenings of their day. Their problems are always greater and more important than yours.
21. They Stonewall Others Giving Them No Voice
Don’t expect the manipulator to be a good communicator or to try to work things out. They give you no voice in the relationship, so they will stonewall you whenever they can. Essentially, they’re unreachable to you.
22. Sex is A Powerplay
They use intimacy as a powerplay to get what they want. They can withhold their affection, or they can use it to manipulate you. Since sex triggers powerful emotions, they use it to their advantage.
23. They Play the Puppeteer with Your Emotions
The classic manipulator often plays with your emotions like you’re a puppet on a string. They will withdrawal from you, hold things over your head, or even blackmail you into getting what they want.
24. They’re Overtly Insulting
While this person might have been very charming when you first met them, they have suddenly changed and morphed into someone you don’t know. What once was all praise and compliments has now become nothing more than insults. The switch can happen overnight and make you wonder why you ever got involved with them.
25. They Recruit Allies
When they’re caught or trying to pull off a master plan, they will recruit as many allies as possible. Even if you disagree with what they’re saying, they will throw you under the bus to make themselves look better.
Remember in the movie the Wizard of Oz when the wicked witch had flying monkeys. She got the monkeys to join alongside her to do her dirty work, and the manipulator acts quite similarly.
It’s never easy to deal with a manipulative person. The narcissistic personality is often one that is very troubled from the past. If you peel back all the layers that protect their heart, you will see a broken individual that has likely experience significant issues in their childhood.
People who have suffered from trauma or abuse often become more assertive by taking control of their life and the situations around them. What you see as toxic traits are nothing more than coping mechanisms. Though they appear strong and determined, inside, they’re broken and damaged.
If you believe that a person you’re with is a narcissist, then you should encourage them to get help. The key is to deal with the situations under the surface and learn new and improved coping skills for their pain. While it’s not impossible, it can be quite a daunting task to live with someone who has these toxic tendencies, as it will make your life miserable.