Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Emory University Reveals How Grandmother Brains React to Grandchildren

Science finally reveals why a grandmother beams with joy upon seeing her grandchildren. Grandmas have so much kindness and love to offer and often show it by baking cookies, buying gifts, or simply showering their grandkids affectionately. They also encourage a child’s development and brain health in significant ways.

For the first time, scientists have scanned grandmothers’ brains while looking at photos of their grandchildren. This activity helped them better understand their bond and how grandmas influence their grandkids.

The findings by Emory University researchers published the results in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B. It marks the first to investigate grandmaternal brain function.

“What jumps out in the data is the activation in areas of the brain associated with emotional empathy,” says James Rilling, Emory professor of anthropology and lead author of the study. “That really suggests that grandmothers are geared toward feeling what their grandchildren are feeling when they interact with them. If their grandchild is smiling, they’re feeling the child’s joy. And if their grandchild is crying, they’re feeling the child’s pain and distress.”

They also analyzed the brains of grandmothers while viewing pictures of their grown children. Researchers found that brain areas linked to cognitive empathy lit up rather than emotional empathy. This data suggests the grandmother may be trying to understand their child’s thoughts or feelings, but not in a moving way. Age probably plays the most significant factor in these reactions.

“Young children have likely evolved traits to be able to manipulate not just the maternal brain, but the grand maternal brain,” Rilling says. “An adult child doesn’t have the same cute ‘factor,’ so they may not elicit the same emotional response.”

The Grandmother is a Crucial Part of the Family

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Minwoo Lee, a Ph.D. candidate in Emory’s Department of Anthropology, and Amber Gonzalez, a former Emory research specialist, co-authored the study.

Lee added she relates to the study since she spent much time around her grandmothers. She has fond memories of them and recalls that they always seemed happy to see her. As an adult, she finally understands their warm, welcoming attitude toward her.

She added that it’s rare to study the older human brain besides dementia or age-related disorders in the scientific world. This makes the research even more special.

“Here, we’re highlighting the brain functions of grandmothers that may play an important role in our social lives and development,” Lee says. “It’s an important aspect of the human experience that has been largely left out of the field of neuroscience.”

Rilling’s research centers around the neural basis of human behavior and social cognition. While neuroscientists have focused chiefly on motherhood, he leads the way in the lesser-known neuroscience of fatherhood.

However, for this study, he wanted to examine the brain response of grandmothers during interactions with their grandchildren. It’s a relatively new topic but has important implications in almost every culture.

“Evidence is emerging in neuroscience for a global, parental caregiving system in the brain,” Rilling says. “We wanted to see how grandmothers might fit into that pattern.”

Traditional Communities Rely on the Grandmother for Survival

In human families, everyone contributes in some way to care for offspring. Of course, mothers are the primary caregivers, but the grandmother also plays a crucial role.

“We often assume that fathers are the most important caregivers next to mothers, but that’s not always true,” Rilling says. “In some cases, grandmothers are the primary helper.”

The “grandmother hypothesis” suggests that human females live well past their reproductive years to support their children and grandchildren. A study of the traditional Hadza people of Tanzania confirms this hypothesis. In their society, grandmothers help forage for food, which offers nutritional benefits to their grandkids.

The authors cite a separate study of traditional communities as well. In this study, having the grandmother around led to more grandchildren being born in a shorter timeframe. So, it seems that the grandmother is the glue holding families together, in a way. Her support ensures a strong, healthy family that works together to survive and thrive in various communities.

In modern societies, evidence shows that children have better academic, physical, social, and behavioral health when their grandmother is actively involved.

Emory University Reveals How Grandmothers’ Brains React to Seeing Grandchildren

For this study, the researchers aimed to understand how engaged grandmothers benefit their families. The team gathered 50 participants for the study and asked them to fill out questionnaires about their experiences as grandmothers. They answered questions about how much time they spent with their grandkids, what activities they did together, and how much love they felt for them.

Researchers also scanned their brains using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) while viewing their grandchild’s images. They repeated the scans while the grandmother looked at pictures of an unknown child, the same-sex parent of the grandchild, and an adult stranger.

Results indicated that the grandmother viewing pictures of her grandkid had more brain regions associated with emotional empathy and movement. Researchers didn’t note this when they viewed the other images.

However, grandmothers whose brain scans showed more cognitive empathy reported wanting to be more involved with caring for their grandchildren.

“Our results add to the evidence that there does seem to be a global parenting caregiving system in the brain and that grandmothers’ responses to their grandchildren maps onto it,” Rilling says.

Rilling added that interviewing the grandmothers personally was the highlight of the study. “It was fun,” he says. “I wanted to get a sense of the rewards and challenges of being a grandmother.”

“Many of them also said how nice it is to not be under as much time and financial pressure as they were when raising their children,” Rilling says. “They get to enjoy the experience of being a grandmother much more than they did being parents.”

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Final Thoughts on a Study Showing How a Grandmother  Reacts to Seeing a Grandchild

You probably don’t need a study to prove how much your grandmother loves you. However, it’s interesting to see how the brains of grandmothers light up when they see a picture of their grandchild. So, when you visit your grandmother, give her the biggest hug and tell her how much you appreciate her.

20 Positive Changes to Make for a Better Life (#11 Is Highly Effective)

The human experience has often been compared to writing a book. Each person gets a blank volume and the chance to draft their own story. While you can’t erase a chapter from the past, you have a new page to create every day. Every time you have the chance to make positive changes, you only improve the content of that story.

You have the right to success just as much as anybody else in this world. If you’re overwhelmed by doubt, fear, and negativity, you can’t realize your potential. Speaking positive affirmations into the Universe empowers you to believe in yourself and bring your dreams into reality.

Twenty Positive Changes to Make for a Better Life

Are you tired of just existing and settling for the second-best? Even though you can’t change the world alone, you can change yourself and your attitude. Consider these twenty helpful hints for positive changes that will make a difference in your life.

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1. Speak Blessings Instead of Curses to Attract Positive Changes

Start using the law of attraction to bring positive changes to your life. The Universal Mind knew and loved you before you were born and destined you for greatness. Your first step into your best life is to speak positive affirmations.

When you speak blessings to yourself and others, the Universe responds in kind. You’ll attract the same benefits you say. Use compassionate affirmations and agree with your Higher Power that you’re loved, worthy, and eternally blessed.

2. Get the Sleep You Need

Your body cannot stay in perpetual motion. It depends on your circadian rhythm for optimal sleep/wake hours. While you sleep, your brain and body get the chance to rest and recharge for the next day.

An article published by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine explains the link between sleep deprivation and negative thought patterns. Do you want to be more optimistic? Try to get at least six to eight hours of sleep each night.

3. Plan Your Day According to Your Energy Levels

Have you ever noticed that your energy levels wax and wane throughout the day? This is called your ultradian rhythm, and it varies by individual. You may feel your best in the morning and be in an energy slump by midday.

Or perhaps you’re a night owl, and you’re lively and creative in the evenings. Discovering your peak energy times can bring positive changes at home and work. Consider keeping a journal of your energy levels and planning your most ardent tasks during those times.

4. Organize Your Space to Make Room

Maybe one of the reasons you don’t accomplish what you want is because your space is cluttered and disorganized. Positive changes start by clearing the clutter in your home, office, and mind.

Keep only the necessary things or those that warm your heart and get rid of the rest. Dispel grudges and negative attitudes that hamper your mind and spirit. Create an unobstructed, beautiful space that’s conducive to positivity, dreaming, and creativity.

5. Don’t Skip Breakfast (Making Positive Changes Needs Fuel!)

You’re not doing yourself any favors by skipping breakfast. Are your mornings usually a mad rush trying to get out the door on time? At most, you may grab a sugar-ladened toaster pastry on your way to the car.

When you don’t replenish your energy in the morning, you’ll experience the dreaded afternoon blahs. Instead, try to awaken earlier and plan quick, easy, and nutritious breakfasts. Your body will thank you for being more productive.

6. Revive Your Spirit with Music

Do you feel tired and gloomy and need an emotional recharge? Since the beginning, music has been the universal calm and inspiration. Pep yourself up with a lively beat or relax and focus with easy-listening or classical tunes.

Do you play a musical instrument? Maybe it’s time to learn how to make your music. Why not take lessons in your spare time or get some instruction online?

7. Dress Colorfully to Reflect the Positive Changes You Will Manifest

Take a cue from nature and see the vibrant colors of the plants and animals. There’s nothing attractive about wearing dull, drab clothing. You can even make a gray outfit sparkle when you add a splash of color.

Of course, you don’t want to look like a clown. Find the colors that look best for your skin tone and use them to your advantage. Making positive changes in your wardrobe can boost your self-esteem. Plus, you’re not channeling happiness if you feel uncomfortable in your clothes.

8. Stay Hydrated with Water

Since your body is made of a high percentage of water, you need to stay hydrated. It’s essential for all body functions, and you would die without it. However, you may be dehydrated and not even know it.

An article published by the Mayo Clinic recommends at least 11.5 cups of water a day for women and 15.5 cups for men. Water naturally flushes toxins from your system and keeps your cells plump and healthy. Keep a bottle of fresh water with you wherever you go.

9. Use A Timer

The human mind works on a reward system, and you can use it to your advantage. When you need to focus on a task, consider using a timer set for 60 minutes. Minimize distractions and be as productive as you can for that hour.

When the timer buzzes, set in again for 10 minutes. It’s your free time as a reward for your hard work. Use it to read, take a walk, or even a quick power nap.

10. Be Accountable to Someone

If you only have yourself to answer to, it can be easy to slack off a bit. However, giving an account to another person can make you feel more responsible. When you’re making positive changes like weight loss or breaking addiction, having a partner can help your outcome.

You can create a buddy system with your mate, trusted friend, or family member. Choose someone who has experience or is struggling with the same challenges. When you feel disheartened, you both have a buddy who will listen and encourage you.

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11. Release Negative People

Unfortunately, you’ll always have at least one negative person in your inner circle. You may not change their attitude, but you can control their influence over you. Let go of toxic relationships and people who are dragging you down.

Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. Their supportive love gives you the confidence to make positive affirmations that happen. Those naysayers who can’t be supportive don’t belong in your circle.

12. Save Your Change

You’d be surprised at how quickly spare change can add up in a jar. Just a quick sweep of your sofa cushions and car floor may yield a whole handful of coins. Save all your change in a container and use it for a vacation or something else you’ve always wanted.

13. Making Positive Changes Means You Must Dig Deep and Learn Something New Each Day

Your brain craves a challenge and can’t tolerate boredom. Boost your mental power by learning new things. Consider studying a foreign language or reading about a subject that’s always piqued your curiosity.

14. Hit the Unsubscribe Button

If you’re like most people, your email account is overflowing with countless junk emails. The same can be said of all the junk mail and catalogs that are crammed in your post box. Unsubscribe to all spam emails and ask to be taken off any unwanted mailing lists.

15. Read a Chapter a Day

People who love to read will always be open to new concepts and adventures. Fiction can take you to another place and time and give your mind a rest. Try to read at least one chapter a day and choose different genres.

16. Snack Smart (PoP Staff Favorite of the Positive Changes List)

Are you among the long line of coworkers by the vending machines? This junk food may satisfy your hunger, but it can spike your blood sugar and make you tired. Prepare portioned healthy snacks to bring to work or eat when busy at home.

17. Do the Most Dreaded First

No matter what you do in life, you’ll always have tasks that you don’t enjoy. Maybe it’s laundry, dishes, balancing the checkbook, or doing reports at work. Aim to get these dreaded chores out of your way first, and you’ll have the rest of your time for more enjoyable things.

18. Show Gratitude for All You Have…and the Positive Changes You Will Soon See

Bring more positive changes in your life by being grateful for what you already have. You may find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal or keep a list posted where you see it each day. Meditation is an excellent way to express your gratitude mindfully.

19. Get Your Body Moving

It’s nearly impossible to make a difference in your life when you live a sedentary lifestyle. Be kind to your body and find a daily exercise regimen that works for you. Walking in nature, swimming, and playing sports are ideal fun exercises.

20. Reconnect with Yourself

You must know who you are and where you’re going. Take time to reconnect with your inner-self and listen to what your body says. Don’t be so distracted with the cares of life that you lose your individuality.

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Final Thoughts on Making Positive Changes and Claiming Your Rightful Power

Are you longing for a better life? Your power to make positive changes begins in your mind. You can have more joy and satisfaction when you incorporate these and other helpful suggestions into your routine.

15 Signs of a Karmic Connection Never to Overlook

Occasionally, you have a deep connection with someone that alters the course of your life because it’s so powerful. Some people call this person their soul mate, but it’s a passionate yet turbulent relationship that goes beyond the realm of understanding. It’s a karmic connection that few can grasp, but fate sent them into your life for a purpose.

You get so caught up in the way you feel that you forget that things with this person aren’t what you imagine from the fairytales. You can’t think of letting them go, but they’re not here long term, only long enough to teach you valuable lessons.

Understanding the Concept of a Karmic Connection

Everyone wants to find their soulmate or the one person meant for only them. However, many individuals find that they have a different experience that feels the same, but it’s called a karmic connection, and it’s vastly different. These are relations where you love one another but drive each other crazy.

The key is understanding what this connection means and realizing that this person can help or test you in your journey. The difference between having a karmic association versus finding what many call a “soulmate” is that the bond is different. This person is meant to be in your life, but not to nurture and care for you until your golden years.

While they make you feel butterflies and see stars, they also drive you to the point of rage at times. These connections serve a purpose, but it’s not the stuff dreams are made of. It isn’t evident when your feelings are involved as you want these associations to work so much, but it’s not healthy or what you need to be your best self.

For those who have been in and out of meaningful relations but never had anything substantial, you may be relieved to find that all was not lost. Many people come into your life to test you or help you grow into a better person.

You may not want this association to end, but some folks come into your life as nothing more than a learning experience. When this person crosses your path by way of the Universe, the lesson and connections will be epic. Most people find that these relations are profound almost on a spiritual level, even if they only last briefly.

You might consider this connection like that of riding an airplane. Things are smooth sailing for a bit, but turbulence hits, and you think the whole thing will crash. Then, suddenly it all seems to clear, and you’re back to sunny skies.

This constant back-and-forth cycle will drive you to the brink of exhaustion, but you’ll learn. It takes a powerful person to break free, but all is not lost. The things you discover will help you in the next relationship.

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15 Signs of a Karmic Connection

Remember that a karmic connection is deep and intense, but it’s not always the best connection for you. You feel this strong urge to be together, but there are many obstacles along the way.

They’re not the person to be with you throughout eternity, but they do teach you some good and bad lessons along the way. Here are fifteen signs that you’re in a karmic connection.

1. You Have an Instant Bond

From the beginning, the connection between you two was passionate and quick. You felt an instant draw, and you couldn’t tear yourself away from them. You think they’re your soulmate, but you still have doubts, too, because of how rocky the road is between you two.

2. The Association Feels Addicting if its a Karmic Connection

You want them more than your next breath. If you don’t have them in your life, you won’t make it. You feel addicted to them like a drug, and you can’t get enough.

3. You Develop a Codependency

One of the signs of karma in a connection is that you develop codependency. Your life is dependent on your partner, and you can’t do anything without them. You’ve lost your sense of individuality, and your association is unbalanced.

4. A Whirlwind of Highs and Lows

There are so many highs and lows with this person that you feel like you’re on a roller coaster. One minute you’re joyful and laughing, and the next, you’ve broken up for the third time this week. It’s exhausting keeping up with you two.

5. Feelings of Jealousy and Possessiveness

All the uncertainty and trouble in the association bring out your worst. Both of you may feel jealous and possessive due to the turbulence in the connection. According to a study done by Penn State University, many people develop these jealousy issues when they feel they will lose someone.

The article further states that a little bit of jealousy is not always a bad thing, but it can quickly get out of hand. You can bring baggage from a past partner with a loss, which only contributes to these feelings of distrust.

6. Karmic Connections Might Bring Out the Worst in You

When karma is involved, the association may be quite different. While your soul mate will enhance and complete you, the karmic connection does the exact opposite. It’s not uncommon to find yourself becoming an entirely different person when you’re with this individual.

7. Volatile and Unpredictable

The situation is very volatile and completely unpredictable. Even a little argument about what kind of jelly to put on toast can turn into a reason to end things. It seems like the smallest of infractions start an inferno of emotion and rage.

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8. Same Fights Repeatedly

Sometimes it feels like the same story but on a different day. The arguments have become repetitive as well as the behaviors. It’s just mentally grueling, and the situation has become a toxic union.

9. Karmic Connections Can Be Completely Exhausting

When you live in a constant state of upheaval, you’re constantly arguing, and the passion only lasts for a tiny bit. The whole situation is overwhelming. You can’t imagine one day without them, but the days are long and tiring.

10. Lots of Drama and Sentiments

You never know what’s going to hit you today, and you’re always waiting for the next shoe to drop. The constant drama seems to wipe you out, as well as the emotions they bring along with it. You wish you could get off the merry-go-round of emotional drama, but then again, you don’t think you can live without them.

11. You Ignore the Red Flags

There have been so many red flags in this association, but you ignore everyone. Even if someone came to you and told you something horrible, they did; you would get angry but never leave. You feel like going without them would take the very breath from your body.

12. Underlying Fear

Though you hate to admit it, you’re scared. You live every day wondering if this will be the day that things end. To lose them feels like losing a limb, and you don’t know if you can go on.

13. Inclined Towards Unhealthy Addictions

Sadly, many of these connections have addictive tendencies. They may cause you to drink, smoke, or do drugs. Being with this person makes you inclined to take a walk on the wild side.

Having physical relations with them is just as addicting as lust is another drug you crave. The problem is that after you’ve sufficed all the addictions to cope with the pain, there are still some abusive natures to this connection that you cannot deny.

14. Controlling

The fear of losing one another makes for a controlling situation. You both likely feel these intense sentiments of lust, emotional turmoil, and the all-around war on some days.

Your addiction to each other is hard to break. What do you do when you’re afraid you’re going to lose someone? You control them so that you can attempt to keep them.

15. Karmic Connections Might Not Respect Boundaries

According to Psycho Logs, you need healthy boundaries with your partner because it helps to facilitate mutual understanding. Everyone has limits, and they don’t want to be pushed far beyond these guidelines. However, you’ve found that your association has no boundaries, and you two know how to make buttons just to upset the other one.

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Final Thoughts on Karmic Connections

Karmic connections challenge you. However, this person provides you with an opportunity to step into a more robust phase in life. They’re helping you become a better you.

You will experience a rollercoaster of emotions, and some baggage may come from this connection. Still, you’re a better person for the journey. The good news is that you can heal from this, and through this person, you will learn what’s healthy and unhealthy in a partner.

One of the best things about these connections is that they teach you all about self-love. It shows you that there’s significant importance in taking care of yourself. They also teach you how important it is to have mental peace, a good sense of self-worth, and take care of your psychological and physical health.

Due to the deep connection, you will likely mistake this bond for a soulmate, but few of these karmic relations last. While you may feel like you can never let that person go, you should know that you can!

15 Meaningful Ways to Celebrate Relationship Milestones

The very essence of being a human being is to grow, change, and become and do more. From an infant, you were hitting milestones as you grew and developed. You celebrated small victories from your first steps to high school graduation. But what about your relationship milestones?

Are you currently celebrating all the things you accomplish as a couple? If you’ve been with your partner for a long time, you’ve learned that marriage and commitment are challenging. There are good days, bad days, and times when you want to walk away and never see them again.

However, you quickly come to your senses and realize you have something worth keeping. Since your union is so unique, why not celebrate the little things along the way? While you grow and evolve as a person, you do the same as a couple. These little affirmations of your accomplishment nourish your continued growth by encouraging you and your soul mate.

Another exciting aspect of celebrating these milestones is that it allows you a chance to reflect on how far you’ve come, and it also allows you to make continued goals for the future.

Fifteen Meaningful Ways to Celebrate Relationship Milestones

When you have anniversaries as a couple, there are gifts that you’re supposed to buy. According to Hallmark, the first anniversary is a gift of paper. But by the time you get to the 40th celebration, it’s a ruby. The longer you are together, the more clout you have as a couple, and the gifts’ value increases.

Not every celebration warrants a precious stone, but you can always celebrate in the ways you see fit. While many people don’t stick to these old traditions, celebrating your romantic milestones is essential. Here are fifteen ways to celebrate your love and accomplishments and help sustain your union.

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1. Get a Cake to Mark Relationship Milestones

Is there never a good time for cake? Whether it’s birthdays, anniversaries, or celebrations, someone must bring the cake. A cake is just a little token that shows you’ve done well.

You can pick one up at your local supermarket with moral sentiments written on top, or you can go a little more upscale and order one from a gourmet bakery. Why not celebrate those relationship milestones with a sweet treat? Very few people don’t put the cake together with celebrations, as it sort of goes together like a hand and glove.

2. Share Fun Experiences

Many people put a lot of focus into buying material possessions, which often means little. Why not make memories. If you’ve had a significant accomplishment as a couple, then why not share something fun like ice skating, snowboarding, or another adventure that you will look back on with smiles?

Just think of all the photo opportunities you can share with the world, your children, and keep in a scrapbook that honors your love.

3. Treat Yourself to a Gift

A special occasion calls for a gift. Remember all the rewards as kids and how fondly you look back on those days? Relationship milestones can be celebrated with a unique token when you have relationship milestones. Imagine a beautifully crafted necklace or ring, designed specifically to honor your journey together, capturing the essence of your bond in every detail. For example, for 7th wedding anniversary celebration, a piece of custom jewelry can symbolize the strength and beauty of your partnership. Whether it’s a piece featuring the gemstones of your birth months or an intricate design that reflects your shared experiences, this personalized touch will make the occasion unforgettable. Custom jewelry not only serves as a stunning accessory but also as a lasting reminder of the love and commitment you’ve built over the years.

Gifts are a wonderful way to honor a meaningful moment, whether it’s an anniversary, birthday, or simply a gesture of appreciation. Think of something that not only brings joy in the moment but also offers sentimental value long after the celebration. A carefully chosen gift can evoke memories of a special day every time it’s seen or used, deepening the connection between you and your loved one. For instance, a custom music fridge magnet could be a sweet addition to your home, showcasing a favorite song or melody that has significance in your relationship. It’s a small yet meaningful token that can continuously remind you both of the soundtrack to your love story.

4. Create Pin Board or Collage, Adding Relationship Milestones Over the Years

Vision boards are all the rage right now, but you can also do a celebration board. You can do a timeline to see where you started and where you’re at now.

Why not add some pictures of your journey to help personalize it? Is there any better way to showcase your love throughout the years than with such a commemorative piece?

5. Pop Open a Bottle of Champagne

Champagne is the standard way to celebrate anything, but romantic accomplishments are incredibly fantastic. If you’ve made it any length of time, and have weathered many storms, then pop open some bubbly and rejoice.

Maybe you bought your first home, adopted a child, or had another major milestone. You can always incorporate this way to celebrate with other methods on the list. Who doesn’t want some cake while drinking little sparkling spirits?

6. Take the Day Off

Sometimes the best way to celebrate those relationship triumphs is by doing nothing. Why not take the day off and spend it together watching TV and snuggling? You deserve a break, so why not give it to yourself? The term “Netflix and chill” is undoubtedly a good idea for having a personal day.

7. Throw a Party

If the milestone is excellent, it calls for a more significant scale celebration. Having a party with friends and loved ones can enhance the occasion by having the entire crowd help you celebrate. There’s nothing better than celebrating when it’s done surrounded by all those you love.

8. Do Something on Your Bucket List

If you don’t have a bucket list, now is the time to put one together. Now, why not cross one of those items off your list in celebration of your milestone? Maybe you’ve always wanted to skydive, so why not make this the way you celebrate?

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9. Plan a Themed Dinner to Match Any Relationship Milestones

Themed dinners are few and far between, but they’re so much fun. Why not have some friends get in on the action and create a night to remember? You can go to the Old West and have foods that commemorate this period, or you can even do something Spanish with some delicious cuisine.

No matter your age, it’s always exciting to have a night of fun and some appropriate themes to go along with it.

10. Upgrade Something

While it’s not usually exciting to upgrade an appliance or something you need, it can be done to commemorate something. For instance, if you’ve been together for 20 years and raised four kids, then you might think you deserve that high-efficiency washer and dryer you’ve always wanted. Celebrating can be nothing more than upgrading, and that’s okay too, especially if it’s a car or house.

11. Get a Special Piece of Jewelry

Nothing says love like diamonds. Many folks think that jewelry is the perfect way to celebrate those relationship milestones. Maybe it’s time to upgrade your promise or wedding rings? No wonder so many people like to buy jewelry gifts, as it appreciates in value and is very sentimental.

12. Frame Your Success

Some things are just worth framing, like a marriage license. There are documents, pictures, and other memorabilia that belong on the wall for all to see. Be proud of your journey and how far you’ve come, and why not showcase it as a constant reminder of where you’ve been and where you’re going?

13. Go on a Road Trip

It’s always a good time to hit the open road. Whether you take a plane, train or automobile doesn’t matter, but it’s all about the quality time you get to spend together. According to an article on What to Get My, they state that road trips are an excellent time to catch up on passion, share heart-filled moments, enjoy new experiences, and have fun.

14. Book Something Massive

Have you always wanted to go to Europe or swim with the sharks? If you’ve achieved a significant relationship milestone, then it calls for pulling out all the stops. Why not celebrate by doing something that will go down in history as a hallmark for your relationship?

Sometimes, you need to treat yourself big. In an era where people constantly rush in and out of relationships, you need to celebrate those milestones with pride.

15. Get Dressed Up and Go Out for the Biggest Relationship Milestones

When was the last time you put on a shirt and tie or fancy dress and went out on the town in style? They’re just not enough occasions these days that warrant getting all dolled up. However, when you hit milestones and want to celebrate, why not put on your Sunday best and paint the town red?

Relationship Milestones to Celebrate Always

These little milestones might not be a big deal to others, but they don’t know the stories behind the victory. When you, as a couple, have accomplished important things, you owe it to yourself to celebrate. What are some of the things you can honor?

•Employment advances or raises

•Anniversary (dating – first kiss- saying “I love you”)

Birthdays

•Paying off a large debt

•Having a child

•Buying a home or car

•Anything special to you both

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Final Thoughts on Celebrating Relationship Milestones

The above-listed milestones are just a few, but they’re certainly not the only ones that call for celebration. You’ve probably commemorated many things that aren’t included but are still unique to you.

Anything that your relationship experiences are markers that you should honor. In the end, the goal is all about building a wonderful life together. If you were married for over 50 years, would not all your shared experiences be worth celebrating? Of course, they were.

If you want to live together, make it the long haul, and have a good time along the way, then you learn to celebrate the little things that make your union so unique.

15 Emotionally Abusive Relationship Signs People Ignore Until It’s Too Late

Being in a healthy relationship can lead to a joyful and fulfilling life. As a couple, you share your dreams, happiness, sorrow, and fears as you support one another. However, what if you’re trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship?

Abuse comes in many forms, including physical, mental, verbal, and emotional. Each is just as painful and unconscionable. The internal bruises from psychological abuse aren’t as apparent as those on the body. Any person who perpetrates any abuse can’t be excused or tolerated.

Fifteen Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Does your relationship bring joy and security or pain and fear? Is your person gentle, loving, and kind, or are they volatile and manipulative? Here are fifteen tell-tale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and why you should leave.

emotionally abusive relationship

1. A Partner in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship Will Criticize and Humiliate You

When your partner kindly offers constructive criticism with your best interests at heart, it benefits you. You realize that you can share any idea or project with them, and they will be sincere. However, unfounded criticism is cruel and intended to crush your spirit.

They fire off these mean-spirited comments in a snide or condescending way. They are usually generalized and are not helpful. After listening to these degrading remarks for so long, you often internalize them. Soon, your mind is playing perpetual loops of false statements that can destroy your self-esteem.

2. There’s No Support in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

In an article published by Current Opinions in Psychiatry, Maija Reblin and Dr. Bert N. Uchino suggest a strong link between emotional support and your health. Validation and emotional support are basic human needs. If you don’t have it, you can eventually develop serious issues that affect your entire well-being.

Of all the people in your support network, you would expect your mate to be your top cheerleader. Whether you win or lose, you know they have your back and will always be encouraging. If your partner is constantly crushing your dreams and isn’t there for you emotionally, it may be time to evaluate the relationship.

3. It’s Always Your Fault

Mature and conscientious people take responsibility for their shortcomings and mistakes and correct them. There’s no such thing as a perfect person or couple. You and your significant other will occasionally mess up and must apologize.

Toxic partners often have narcissistic personalities and rely on manipulation and gaslighting. When you confront them for something wrong they did, they will try to shift the blame to you or others. They may go so far as to demand a confession and apology from you for their offenses.

4. They Refuse to Let You Socialize

For an abusive relationship to last, the toxic mate must isolate you from your family and friends. They want to be the sole source of controlling your thoughts and actions. It’s also a way to prevent you from disclosing these cruel tactics to anyone.

This self-centered person must have you all to themselves. Such isolation is damaging to your mental and spiritual health. Sadly, you may feel like a prisoner in your own home whose feelings aren’t considered.

5. Jealousy Issues Are Over the Top in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Manipulative partners usually have trust issues and extreme jealousy. Their skewed perception considers family, friends, co-workers, and even strangers as a threat to their control over you. If they allow you a rare time to socialize, they must be at your side like a vicious guard dog.

Discussing the issue with them is futile because they’ll disregard your concerns. Furthermore, they would probably turn the situation around on you as if you’re the jealous one. It sends up a red flag to your family and friends that you’re being smothered and emotionally abused.

6. They Keep Tabs on You

In a healthy relationship, it’s normal for a couple to check in with each other when they’re on the road or away for a while. It’s also okay to call or occasionally text to relay important information. However, manipulative mates can’t trust you alone for any time without blowing up your phone.

Such behavior goes beyond loving communication and concerns and is a control tactic. They may also breach your right to privacy by secretly following you, reading your email, and eavesdropping on your conversations. Instead of being your compassionate partner, they are your prison warden. Of course, telling lies is their specialty, not yours.

7. There’s A Double Standard in Almost Every Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Everyone strives to be fair in a wholesome relationship. You love each other enough to make mutual compromises, so each is happy. If your significant other imposes standards on you that don’t apply to them, your relationship is one-sided and toxic.

These double standards can appear in every aspect of their control over you. They are free to socialize with family and friends, but you get verbally attacked if you do. If you aren’t equal in all matters, you’re being hurt and cheated.

emotionally abusive relationship

8. Constant Fighting

Occasional arguing is not only usual in a relationship, but it’s also healthy. It shows that both of you retain your unique ideas and opinions. However, a loving couple knows how to apologize and make compromises as needed.

Chronic fighting isn’t beneficial and can wreak havoc on your well-being. Having someone yelling at you constantly is devastating to your self-worth. You want to be in a compassionate, loving relationship and not a war.

9. You Hide Their Behavior from Friends and Family

Another tell-tale sign of an emotionally abusive relationship is your irrational desire to protect your manipulative partner. When you are allowed to socialize with family and friends, you’re afraid to discuss the abuse because of the repercussions later. You may try to present your relationship with your toxic mate in the best light.

Unfortunately, you may start to believe the lie yourself. If you’re so afraid to tell your friends the truth about your mate, then you’re in denial. You may try to protect your person, but you’re only hurting yourself in the long run.

10. You Walk on Eggshells

It’s unnerving to be around someone whose temper is as volatile as a vial of nitroglycerin. When that emotional powder keg is your partner, it’s even worse. You may feel like you must watch each word or action for fear that they’ll explode.

Such an emotionally abusive relationship keeps your nerves on edge and your stress levels high. According to an article published by IBCCES Learning Center, emotional abuse can trigger anxiety, depression, and other severe mental conditions. Living under such pressure isn’t worth it.

11. There’s No Effort from Them

Another inequity in an emotionally abusive relationship is that you do one the work. You must do everything to keep the relationship going while your partner does nothing. All the responsibility for love, devotion, understanding, and effort falls in your lap.

12. They Manipulate You to Stay

Why would a kind, sensible, and worthy person like you stay in an emotionally abusive relationship? If you’re with a manipulative narcissist, they’ll give you plenty of fake reasons. If they constantly threaten you with a breakup, if you don’t comply with their wishes, then they’re toxic and not your true love.

They may also try to manipulate your sense of obligation as if you owe them your devotion. If you aren’t a silent prisoner, then they are walking out the door.

13. They’re Verbally Abusive

While it’s normal for couples to split, it’s never an excuse for name-calling and verbal abuse. It’s often associated with an emotionally abusive relationship and is just as cruel and hurtful as physical abuse. Screaming, cursing, and name-calling by an evil partner leave lasting scars in your heart that are slow to heal.

14. You Experience Emotional Abuse (Which Might Not Be as Obvious as it Sounds!)

An emotionally abusive relationship works like a boa constrictor as it slowly squeezes away your life. The toxic mate’s goal is to continually tell lies to make you compliant and meek. What’s worse is that you may eventually believe you’re worthless and deserve their abuse.

If there’s any fault in the relationship, they want you to shoulder it. This abuse batters your mind and soul until you lose your identity and purpose. Until you take a stand against them, you remain shackled in the dark dungeon of their warped control.

15. Your Codependent on Your Partner in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Not only do you lose yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship, but you also lose those closest to you. These are your true friends and family who have your best interest at heart. It’s not that they want to leave your circle; it’s that you’ve allowed your manipulative partner to force them away.

Now, they have you right where they want you: discouraged, scared, and lonely. You can only turn to them, and you’re finally their prisoner. Such codependency puts this narcissist at the center of your world just as they planned.

emotionally abusive relationship

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Coping With Emotionally Abusive Relationships

The freedom you deserve comes the moment you realize that you’re being cruelly manipulated and abused. You can only “try” as long as your partner is willing to change. If all else fails, don’t be ashamed of the lessons you learned. Refuse to be part of their vile contempt and regain control of your life. Walk away with your dignity as a beautiful, loving, and worthy person.

7 Types of Romantic Hugs That Really Show the Love

The human touch provides an essential connection between people and those they love. Infants instinctively cling to their parents at birth and soon equate it with love and security. Romantic hugs are a way for couples to connect and display their affection.

In America, greeting close friends and family with a warm hug is common. However, this benign sign of affection isn’t shared globally. According to a study published by Aalto University, the level of people’s comfort with another person’s touch varies by country, gender, and relationship.

Science and Cuddling

The hug is so entrenched in American culture that we celebrate National Hug Day on January 21st every year. Archeological evidence suggests that humans have been huggers for thousands of years. The report also mentions that the average hug lasts about 3.17 seconds.

Hugs have different meanings, the same as the word love. There’s the kinship love and hug you give to your parents and extended family. It’s different from the “side hug” you give your best friend or close coworker. Perhaps your place of worship encourages a hug of fellowship with same-gender members.

All these are genuine hugs, but they aren’t the ones of lovers. Just as you may say you “love” your grandmother or “love” your best friend, you have romantic love for your significant other. It’s the same way with your romantic hugs.

romantic hugs

Two Essential Rules for Embracing

There aren’t any ironclad rules for hugging your mate. However, you must use your intuition to know the right time to cuddle them and when to leave them alone. Even the book of Ecclesiastes 5:3 advises that there’s a time to embrace and a time to refrain from such things.

When you see that your lover had a tough day at work, your supportive hug can mean the world to them. It’s also a nonverbal affirmation that reminds them that they are “the one” and always will be. A heartfelt cuddle is soothing in the evenings and helps you both relax and enjoy each other’s company.

1. Hands Off

If you follow the ancient wisdom of King Solomon, you’ll realize when to keep your hands to yourself. If you’ve had a spat and your mate is angry with you, it’s probably not a good idea to reach out for a bear hug. It can come across as condescending, making them even more furious.

When your person is deep in thought or working toward a deadline, give them some space. You mean well by wrapping your arms around them, but it might disrupt their train of thought. Of course, if they are stressed and overwhelmed, your loving presence may be welcomed.

2. Together But Different

While many couples are bound in love by common interests, some are attracted to opposites. Even in a long, healthy relationship, teams still have their individuality. You and your partner may differ in culture, religion, and philosophy.

The relationship works because you respect each other’s opinions and preferences and compromise as needed. The hug rules require more sensitivity when a hugger loves a non-hugger. Your family may hug everyone in their path while your partner hails from a family that doesn’t display affection.

If you’re the hugger, you must respect your non-hugger’s boundaries. Allow your lover to hug or not hug as they prefer. They could be affectionate behind closed doors but are uncomfortable around others.

Romantic Hugs Are More Than Intimacy

According to an article published by CNN, most women say they want more than just physical intimacy in a relationship. They crave hugs and cuddling for assurance and a spiritual connection. Unfortunately, most men are biologically inclined to forget the romantic portion.

It’s imperative to be sensitive to your partner’s needs, both males and females. Don’t forget the gentle caresses and cuddling that say you need to be close to them. Such nonverbal communication goes a long way in a healthy relationship.

Seven Types of Romantic Hugs

Do you and your partner hug the same way every time? Learn to be spontaneous and what each type says about how you feel. These are seven types of romantic hugs to consider.

1. Eye-to-Eye Romantic Hugs

If you’ve recently fallen in love or are still crazy about your mate, this may be one of your favorite romantic hugs. Both you and your significant other are poised as if you are ready to dance. Usually, the shorter partner has their arms lifted and loosely circled the taller one’s neck and shoulders.

The hallmark of this enduring embrace is eye-to-eye contact. The loving glow in each other’s eyes mesmerizes you and your partner. Reassuring words of affection often accompany the eye-to-eye type.

2. The Loving Straddle

The straddle is perhaps one of the most intimate of romantic hugs. It’s almost complete body contact with your eyes locked in a romantic gaze. You can hug this way when your partner relaxes in a chair or the side of the bed. You sit on their knees with your legs on each side of their legs.

Since it’s such a close togetherness, the straddle is mainly reserved for private moments. However, you may get by as a public display of affection if it’s playful and not too intimate. Some embraces are best kept in the privacy of your home.

3. I’ve Got Your Back

Surprising your special someone with a romantic hug face-to-face isn’t easy. But when you cuddle them from behind, your sweet affection may make their day. The back style is done when your mate’s back is turned, and they’re often preoccupied.

You gently encircle your arms around their neck while you lean your chest against their upper back. It’s almost like spooning, except you’re both standing. Think of the iconic back hug Patrick Swayze gave Demi Moore in the movie “Ghost.” That moment and intimate connection captivated audiences and made movie history.

romantic hugs

4. Long, Comforting Romantic Hugs

According to an article published by Forbes Magazine, science proves the benefits of hugs. The power of touch releases hormones that can lower stress and your blood pressure. Plus, it can be a silent gesture that soothes anxiety, as stated in the article.

A long-lasting snuggle usually involves strong emotions such as loss and grief. You offer it to family and close friends when they are having a difficult time. When used romantically, it provides assurance. Or, you can hug this way when you plan to be apart for a while.

It revels in the closeness that neither of you wants to end. You share loving and positive energy from heart to heart. It says, “I’m here for you, and I’ll hold your hand and heart forever.”

5. The Twirl (Romantic Hugs Like You See in the Movies)

The twirl is a classic cuddle that’s reminiscent of a dance. It’s a celebration of joy and youthful love. However, you must ensure that you and your partner are up for lifting and twirling. The twirl is the most spontaneous and attractive to all the romantic hugs to onlookers.

It usually starts with you running into your mate’s outstretched arms. They catch you at the waist, lift you overhead, and do a little ballet-like twirl. A kiss in midair often accompanies it.

Don’t feel bad if one or both of you can’t do the lifting or twirling. You can have the same romantic effect by rushing into each other’s arms and twirling as in a ballroom dance step. The twirl is even more dramatic when they bend you back for a sweet kiss as you raise one foot.

6. The Catcher

The catcher is a passionate twin of the twirl because both involve running and lifting. These are romantic hugs you see when a couple is rescued or reunited in the movies. It exclaims, “I’ve missed you,” or “never going to let you go.”

As with twirl, the catcher begins with you rushing into the outstretched arms of your beloved. They squeeze you tight at the waist but don’t lift you over their head. Instead, they raise you just enough to bring your feet off the ground, usually bent upwards at the knees.

7. The Cuddler Romantic Hugs

Not all romantic hugs are passionate and boisterous. Like the cuddle bug, some are tranquil and relay their amorous message without a word. While parents often cuddle their children to offer comfort and parental love, this cuddling hug differs.

You can do the cuddle bug while relaxing on the sofa watching a favorite movie. Both you and your partner are gently wrapped up together in each other’s arms. Perhaps they are lying on your shoulder or lap, or you’re intimately snuggled under a cozy blanket.

This warm cuddle is restful and playful, especially after a long day. At the same time, it fulfills an innate desire for closeness and safety. It tells your person that you feel secure and satisfied in their arms.

romantic hugs

Final Thoughts about the Role of Romantic Hugs in Your Relationship

Perhaps nothing brings you closer to your person than a heartfelt hug. The way you cuddle each other communicates how you’re feeling now. As lovers, you instinctively know each other’s touch and the eternal connection it creates.

6 Signs of Codependent Behavior (And How to Break The Cycle)

Codependent behavior is a psychological condition that involves an unhealthy relationship attachment style. Initially, counselors use the term primarily to refer to partners and family members involved with a person struggling with addiction. However, the definition has since expanded and updated to include a broader range of different toxic attachments.

A lot of codependency is rooted in childhood trauma and instability. This is what makes it so difficult to overcome its behaviors. If you constantly feel exhausted from taking care of everyone else, it may be time to examine your actions. Here are six signs of codependent behavior and how to break the cycle.

Six Early Signs of Codependent Behavior

codependent behavior

1.    Caretaking

Caretaking is a widespread codependent behavior. In fact, it’s pretty much synonymous with the entire issue! This is the state where you believe you must constantly take care of everyone all the time. Research indicates this is often a result of childhood parentification, where kids must grow up too quickly to take care of siblings or their parents.

If that description applies to you, you’ll feel like things won’t go well if you don’t take care of those around you. You constantly try to be the “mom friend” or ensure everyone else’s comfort above yours. You worry that, by voicing your needs, you’ll harm the comfort of others, so you stay silent. But this only builds resentment and leads to negative relationships in the long run!

2.    Lack Of Boundaries

The key hallmark of codependent behavior is a notable lack of boundaries. It’s in the term itself: “codependency,” indicating an unhealthy dependency on someone else who is also dependent on you in a similar way. This lack of boundaries may appear in the following ways:

·         Failure To Enforce Limits

You may have attempted to set certain boundaries before. You might have even promised yourself that you won’t be accepting specific treatment anymore. But then, when your limits are crossed, you stay silent and let it happen. You continue to allow these actions, causing your tolerance of them to slowly but surely increase to devastating levels.

·         Self-Sacrifice

You constantly give to others at your expense. Your life revolves around others, and you give up time, money, effort, and energy for the people around you. This can even center on just one person, and if so, you’ll jeopardize all other relationships you have for them. You’ll even ruin your career, passions, and goals for their sake. You end up in this martyr position and can’t say no.

·         Overstepping

It’s not just about your boundaries. You fail to recognize the typical limitations of others, too. In your attempts to care for them, you constantly overstep. You border on controlling, trying to fix other people and their problems by force and without empathy. When people don’t do as you want them to, you get frustrated and upset.

3.    One-Sided Relationships

Codependent relationships are typically highly one-sided. They involve a dynamic where:

  • One individual is the “responsible” one, acting as a caretaker and martyr.
  • The other individual is highly irresponsible and performs multiple harmful behaviors.
  • The “responsible” individual excuses or enables the behavior of the inconsistent individual.
  • The irresponsible individual can continually perform their harmful behavior because the “responsible” individual takes care of them.

This negative relationship causes a lot of strain on the “responsible” codependent. A lot of people find themselves in that so-called responsible position. In reality, of course, it isn’t responsible, but an unhealthy and toxic bond where you feel responsible for the actions of others.

4.    Avoidance of Personal Emotion

Codependent behavior involves a refusal to focus on yourself. You rely on others and focus only on providing for the people around you to a dangerous and harmful level. This means you’ll often avoid your emotions so you can better focus on the feelings of those around you. Instead of processing your feelings, you perform and experience the following:

·         Repression

You’re afraid to be yourself and express your feelings. But those emotions build up whether you want them to or not. And since you’re not willing to voice them, you opt to push them back down instead. You bottle things up and may even seem very happy to those around you. But, deep down, those repressed issues only build up over time and influence your happiness and behaviors.

·         Guilt

Whenever you feel strong emotions, you also feel guilty for having them. You feel as though you don’t deserve to experience your emotions. That guilt forces further suppression, making you chastise yourself for having those feelings.

·         Denial

Codependent behavior doesn’t make you unintelligent. You’ll likely notice and be aware of various emotions and problems in your life. You may recognize the gravity of multiple situations and how they affect you. But because you want to avoid experiencing that truth, you put yourself in denial about them. You lie to yourself, ignore your issues, and distract yourself from reality, insisting everything is fine.

5.    Lack of Trust

Codependent behavior can involve a notable lack of trust in others. You may constantly feel that others are unable to take care of themselves. As such, you become controlling and obsessive over them to save them from themselves. You may also not trust the people who have been good to you because you don’t believe yourself deserving of them. This can also manifest in the following ways:

·         You Don’t Trust Yourself

You constantly second-guess your decisions and thoughts. You need other people to validate your choices. Alternatively, you never do anything that you think about doing. You don’t think you’re capable of pulling it off, or you think you can’t do it.

·         You Trust The Wrong People

There are some people you trust – but they always seem to end up betraying that faith. You start to wonder if you’re just not worthy of good treatment. In reality, however, you’re subconsciously attracted to people based on your codependency and choose the wrong individuals to trust.

·         You’ve Lost Previous Faiths

The people you trusted before have now entirely lost your trust. Sometimes that’s for a good reason, but if it’s fueled by codependency, it might not be. If you were previously religious, you might have lost that faith, too, believing that your god has forsaken you.

codependent behavior

6.    Lack Of Communication

A healthy relationship involves positive communication. But most codependent behaviors entirely get in the way of that. When you’re codependent, you lack an understanding of your own needs. And if you do know what your needs are, you likely feel uncomfortable or reluctant in expressing them.

This is because there’s a good chance that you believe that your only job is to take care of those around you. You don’t want to assert yourself by stating what you think and feel. You may even communicate with dishonesty, insisting you’re happy and okay when you’re not.

How To Break The Cycle of Codependent Behavior

Now that you see you are trapped in this cycle, here are some ways to help you break free.

1.    Improve Self-Esteem

Codependency can’t take root when you have a high, positive sense of self-esteem. Many codependent behaviors stem from a desire to seek validation due to an innate belief that something’s wrong with you. You may:

  • Try to prove your worth to others, which is why your boundaries are nonexistent, and you keep overextending yourself.
  • Act as a caretaker to others so that you can feel of use to the people around you, as you define yourself by your service to others.
  • Ignore your own needs because you don’t think your desires and preferences are valid since you don’t believe in your worth.

To break the cycle of such codependent behavior, you need to start thinking about yourself. Take things slow and treat yourself with compassion as you validate your emotions. Take steps towards self-care and telling yourself that you deserve good things in life. You have to internalize the message that your worth doesn’t depend on your service to others.

2.    Detach Healthily

Avoidance is unhealthy, true! But there’s a difference between avoidance and detachment. Healthy detachment is the art of letting go. It’s something that a lot of codependent individuals struggle with. You attach so much to your actions and how people perceive you that it’s tough to live an everyday life without that influence.

It’s essential to understand how detaching isn’t a selfish action. It’s something that ensures your boundaries are kept and met. It separates you from other people in a way that facilitates healthier relationships, giving you room for yourself. Detachment may involve:

  • No longer reacting to those around you, instead of staying calm in the face of stressors.
  • Disengaging from drama and arguments.
  • Setting healthy boundaries and enforcing them.
  • Refusing to enable the negative behaviors of others.
  • Ceasing criticizing and nagging activities.
  • Considering the emotions and needs of yourself.
  • Leaving any situations that you’re not comfortable being a part of.
  • Listening to others instead of trying to fix or solve their issues.

3.    Learn About Yourself

Codependency causes you to struggle to have your own identity. You define yourself by your value and use to others. That’s why a big step in breaking the cycle of codependent behavior is all about learning your own true identity. You have to reconnect yourself after a long time of forcefully turning yourself into whoever you think others want you to be.

You may have lost touch with your goals, dreams, and beliefs, along with your identity. This likely makes it even harder to stop the codependency, as you have nothing to fall back on. Don’t worry – you can take it slow! Begin by asking yourself a few questions, such as:

  • What are my hobbies? What do I like doing?
  • How can I improve my mood? How can I make myself feel better?
  • Who are the people I enjoy spending time with most?
  • What are my goals and dreams in life? Is there something I want to do?

codependent behavior

Final Thoughts On Some Behaviors Of Codependency And How To Break The Cycle

Codependent behavior is a highly harmful form of attachment. It’ll jeopardize your life and subject you to repeated harm while preventing others from taking their accountability. To escape its clutches, you have to break the cycle. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help for this frightening and challenging process!

Neuroscientist Explains Two Easy Methods to Help Master Your Emotions

Words play a role in mastering your emotions because they help name, define, and categorize your feelings. When you can think of your feelings this way, you’ll improve your emotional intelligence and get a better handle on it.

Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett teaches us that emotions aren’t the defining factor of who we are. She believes that emotions connect to survival instincts and the desire to survive and thrive. These instincts cause us to try and predict the future, creating certain emotions regarding the situation.

Learning to master your emotions can help you react to feelings objectively. With objectivity, you can make decisions based on detailed emotional evaluations. You’ll also figure out when to respond to your emotions or disregard them until you feel normal again.

Barrett suggests easy methods for mastering your emotions, helping you learn everything you need to know. She explains that you should learn to process and categorize how you’re feeling, digging deeper to understand. Once you learn the two methods, you’ll be well on your way to mastery.

Two Easy Methods Can Help Master Your Emotions

Try these techniques when you need to regain mastery of your feelings.

master your emotions

1 – Master Your Emotions by Practicing Emotional Granularity

Barrett’s first method for mastering your emotions is to practice emotional granularity. Your emotional granularity is your ability to make your feelings diverse and specific. The higher your emotional granularity, the better your mental and physical well-being are protected.

Practicing emotional granularity requires learning new things. You don’t only have to read or listen to self-help content as you can find descriptive words in any context. The goal is to read or listen to thought-proving content that uses specific terms to describe feelings.

Another way to practice emotional granularity is to learn the differences between similar words. You might know that there is a subtle difference but wouldn’t know how to pinpoint it when you experience it. When you learn the differences between emotional words, you will be well on your way to mastering your emotions.

Even when you’ve learned many new ways to describe your emotions, you can continue learning more. You can boost your emotional granularity by researching words in other languages that could apply to the way you feel right now. When you look for new comments this way, you can reconstruct your experiences.

When you only know a couple of ways to describe how you feel, it indicates that you need to gain emotional intelligence. By learning new words, you can give your brain more options for predicting and perceiving emotions.

Your goal when practicing emotional granularity should be to gain new concepts and hone the skills you already have. Emotionally intelligent people know which skills to use in each situation. Even when they initially aren’t sure what to do, they’ll use their concepts to figure it out.

Practice No Matter Where You Are

You can put your new skills to the test no matter where you are. Start by closing your eyes and imagining yourself in a different situation, and try to come up with concepts to describe it. Use multiple words and combine the emotions.

When you do this mental exercise, it helps you learn to use the new words in a meaningful way. It also allows you to cope with unpredictable circumstances and encourage empathy towards others. This method can also help with negotiating conflict and getting along with others.

The Benefits of Emotional Granularity

Granularity has many benefits that create a satisfying and fulfilling life. Studies show that people who could specify their feelings regulated their emotions better. They are also less likely to drink too much when they get stressed.

Plus, people that practice emotional granularity are less likely to retaliate against someone who wronged them. They have better relationships with their friends and loved ones and usually act more appropriately in social situations.

Another benefit is that emotional granularity helps you alleviate your issue. If you can pinpoint your specific emotion, you can address why you feel that way. Then, you can come up with a solution that eliminates the trigger.

Emotional granularity doesn’t only help with your emotions and mental health either. Studies show that people with higher granularity visit the doctor less frequently, use less medication, and aren’t hospitalized for illness as often.

2 – Master Your Emotions by Recategorizing Your Feelings

Once you’ve learned new ways to describe how you feel, you should recategorize your feelings. The different words can help you understand your sensations, allowing for better decisions. Without emotional granularity, you can’t successfully describe your emotions and categorize them.

When you can clearly identify your feelings and recategorize them appropriately, you can reduce suffering in your life. Recategorizing helps free you from believing that emotions are hardwired in your brain or automatically triggered. Instead, your feelings come from your brain working to help you survive and do well in life.

Your brain constantly predicts things, causing emotions to encourage certain decisions. Once you’ve learned more words to help with categorization, your brain will automatically label them precisely. Then, you’ll know whether to take action or not and what action needs to happen.

Instead of using broad terms to describe your emotions, focus on being more precise. Replace words like “awesome” or “great” with words that better convey how you feel. Some better words that describe positive emotions include these:

  • Inspired
  • Hopeful
  • Blissful
  • Joyful
  • Thrilled
  • Relaxed
  • Happy
  • Content
  • Prideful
  • Adoring
  • Grateful

When you come up with words that better describe your feelings, it helps you process and recategorize them. The same concept is genuine regarding negative emotions because saying “bad” is extremely broad. Consider some of these words, instead:

  • Resentful
  • Dread
  • Angry
  • Irritated
  • Embarrassed
  • Guilty
  • Gloomy
  • Depressed
  • Anxious
  • Aggravated
  • Alarmed
  • Spiteful
  • Remorseful
  • Mortified
  • Uneasy

master your emotions

Benefits of Recategorization

Recategorizing your emotions can help you overcome fear and feel less anxious about things that often trigger you. Rather than using one word to describe a situation, object, or experience, go into detail. Use multiple descriptive words to convey your exact emotions and thoughts.

 When you feel anxious or worried about something, you can use recategorization to turn it into something positive. You can assess if your anxiety is due to excitement at the opportunity or something else and recategorize the emotion accordingly. Learning to do this in all instances can help you focus on benefits and positive aspects.

Other Ways to Master Your Emotions

Get Moving

One of the easiest ways to mater your emotions is by staying active. You can find balance in your life and mind by moving your body regularly. Go for a walk outside in nature to decrease negative feelings and improve your overall well-being.

Read a Book

Reading a book can help you step away from your emotions for a little while. Don’t avoid them, but taking a break from thinking about them can help you refocus your thoughts. Plus, as you read, you’ll learn new words, improving your emotional granularity.

Master Your Emotions Through Meditation

Practicing meditation allows you to observe and experience emotions, and it helps you release them. Meditation also allows you to clear your thoughts while relaxing your mind and body. Afterward, you’ll have an easier time processing the way you feel right now.

Write Down Positive Experiences

Keeping track of positive experiences can help you master your emotions. When you direct your attention to something, you’ll experience more of it. By focusing on and keeping track of positivity, you’ll see more of it in the world around you.

Anytime you experience something you want to happen again in the future, keep track of it. If you aren’t a fan of writing it down, find another way to commemorate the experience. One option is to take photos of something that reminds you of the experience.

Always Find the Good

It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of a situation when it doesn’t go as planned. However, doing so can hinder your emotional progress. Instead, even when you aren’t thrilled, look for the good in every situation.

By forcing yourself to look for the positive aspects, you can change how you feel about it. You’ll end up feeling appreciative, grateful, or excited for another chance to try again. It helps you cherish each moment of your life, allowing you to see things clearly and gain emotional granularity.

Communicate Your Needs and Desires to Help Master Your Emotions

When you can open up and communicate what you need and want, you’ll start to master your emotions. Poor communication leads to misunderstandings and conflict, resulting in emotional turmoil. As you learn to communicate with others in this way, you’ll gain emotional granularity.

master your emotions

Final Thoughts on These Two Easy Methods Can Help Master Your Emotions

Using these two methods to help master your emotions can make all the difference in your life. As you learn to practice emotional granularity, you’ll find new ways to describe how you feel. Plus, you’ll start to use multiple words to convey your emotions.

This concept is one that you can practice throughout your life. You can never learn too much, and there is always more information out there. Keep learning and implementing your knowledge to help master your emotions.

How Long an Afternoon Nap Should Be, According to Science

Taking an afternoon nap is a luxury that not everyone makes time for in their daily life. Many people also assume that naps aren’t good for you. However, if you’re sleep-deprived or need to relax, taking time for a snooze can make all the difference.

If you enjoy napping, you’ll want to ensure you do it the right way. The first aspect to consider is what time of day it is. Taking a nap at the wrong time can backfire, leaving you with more problems than benefits.

Afternoon naps are a popular way to recover from lost sleep or an overly busy schedule, and only one-third of Americans utilize them. When you feel exhausted and worn out, you might need a refresher to stop you from feeling tired, sluggish, or irritable. These negative feelings can drag you down and cause a lack of productivity.

Before you start resting this afternoon, make sure you know how long a nap should be. Understanding the best afternoon nap length can help you make the most of your mid-day rest rather than turning it into a disaster. Following the guidelines can help you take a perfect nap that doesn’t leave you feeling worse.

Times That You Might Need an Afternoon Nap

afternoon nap

Sometimes you might feel like taking a nap even when you don’t need one. As long as you do it at an appropriate time of day, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, other people desperately need a nap sometimes.

If you aren’t sure if you should take a nap, consider whether any of the following apply to you:

  • New fatigue
  • Unexpected sleepiness
  • Have an upcoming period of sleep loss
  • Want to make napping a part of your daily routine
  • You have time and enjoy naps
  • Lacking focus or inspiration

How Long an Afternoon Nap Should Be, According to Science

Ultimately, the length of your nap depends on how much sleep you need. There are benefits to power naps and naps that last more than one hour, making them both worthwhile. Whether you choose a short rest or need more than an hour, avoid sleeping for only thirty to sixty minutes.

Many adults are busy with other things and don’t have time for long naps. Because of their busy schedules, power naps are the best option, lasting for around fifteen or thirty minutes. However, if your schedule allows for it and you’re feeling extra tired, go ahead and set your alarm for an hour or more in the future.

If you implement a daily nap into your schedule, try taking a nap around the same time each day. Aim for mid-afternoon, and set the alarm for when you need to wake up so that you don’t oversleep. Avoid hitting snooze when your alarm goes off, although it will be tempting.

Don’t take your nap too early in the day, or your body won’t be ready. Likewise, please don’t take it too late, or you’ll struggle to sleep at night.

Power Naps

A power nap is under thirty minutes long and can leave you feeling rejuvenated. You’ll have more energy to finish the day, helping you get by until bedtime.

When you take a power nap, you’ll wake up before the deep sleep cycle begins. Staying in the lighter stages of sleep prevents grogginess and irritability. Power naps shouldn’t replace regular nighttime sleep, but they can give you an extra energy boost throughout the day.

30-60 Minute Naps

Once you surpass the 30-minute mark of your nap, you begin to enter deep sleep. While you will still experience improved memory and decision-making, it’ll leave you feeling sluggish. Plus, it’ll take longer for the benefits to kick in.

Longer Afternoon Naps

If you sleep for more than sixty minutes, you have likely entered the deep sleep cycle. You’ll experience improved memory and creativity, but you’ll also feel groggy.

Taking a nap for ninety minutes puts you through a sleep cycle. You’ll go through light sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep, allowing you to wake up feeling well-rested. When you wake up, you’ll experience improved memory and creativity, and you’ll be in a better mood.

Four Tips For Taking the Perfect Afternoon Nap

If you’re taking a power nap, you don’t have much time to waste. You’ll want to fall asleep quickly and get as much rest as possible. These tips can help you take the perfect nap each time.

1 – Keep Your Naps Short

It might be tempting to sleep longer, but now that you know how long your nap should be, stick to it. Remember that more extended rest will leave you feeling groggy.

2 – Take Your Nap Early in the Afternoon

Avoid taking naps after three in the afternoon. Taking a nap any later than that could interfere with your sleep at night. If you start feeling tired anytime between noon and two pm, use that time to take a nap.

3 – Sleep in a Restful Environment

Take your nap in a dark, quiet place free of distraction to ensure the best possible rest. Choosing an environment with a comfortable room temperature will help, too.

4 – Give Yourself Time to Wake Up

After your nap, make sure to give yourself plenty of time to wake up before resuming activities. You’ll need to be alert for anything that requires a quick or sharp response. It won’t take long before you feel wide awake, and you’ll know what you’re ready to continue your tasks.

afternoon nap

Five Benefits of Taking an Afternoon Nap

Now that you know how long your afternoon nap should be, it’s time to learn all the benefits. When done correctly, napping can make you feel better overall. You’ll be more productive and ready to tackle any obstacle or setback that comes your way.

1 – Promotes Relaxation and Decreases Stress

Taking a nap helps you relax and destress, allowing for many other benefits, including an improved mood. When you relax and decrease stress, you’ll be happier and less irritable. Plus, you’ll be able to think clearly, helping you feel better overall.

Taking a nap to reduce stress also leads to improved performance. Whether at work or home, you’ll be more effective at everything you do.

2 – Helps You Form Memories

Studies show that people who take power naps can remember word pairs better than others. It links to associative memory, similar to recognizing someone and remembering their name. Forming memories also helps with learning through episodic learning, a type of remembering.

3 – Encourages Inspiration

When you lack inspiration, an afternoon nap can make all the difference. Take a break from your task and get a little rest. When you wake up, you’ll have fresh ideas, see new connections, and find solutions.

4- Allows You to Recover from Fatigue

One study found that participants feel significantly less tired after a 30-minute nap. Their fatigue wore off, and they could refocus on their activities as it improved their alertness. Recovering from fatigue also allowed the participants to experience quicker reaction time.

5 – Helps You Reduce Your Caffeine Intake

When you’re feeling tired, you might want to grab another cup of coffee. However, too much caffeine is detrimental to your health and well-being. By taking a nap instead of consuming caffeine, you’ll improve your memory and learning while staying healthy.

The Disadvantages of Taking an Afternoon Nap

While naps are tremendous and offer many benefits, there are a few drawbacks. Naps can leave you feeling groggy or disoriented, worsening your mood rather than improving it.

They can also make you have trouble sleeping at night, causing you to be tired the next day, too. If your nighttime sleep becomes a regular issue, it could start an endless cycle of exhaustion.

For people with insomnia, afternoon naps can be especially harmful. They already struggle to sleep at night, and resting could worsen the problem. If you struggle with insomnia, you might want to nap during the day, but try to avoid it.

When an Afternoon Nap Might Be a Bigger Problem

If you’re so tired that your naps interfere with your daily life, it could be a sign of something more. Likewise, if you get a whole night of sleep each night and you’re still desperate for a nap, it could be because of a medical condition.

Think about your naps and your reason for needing them. If you only use power naps to help you refresh, there’s likely not another issue. However, consider discussing it with your doctor if you take naps because you’re always exhausted.

afternoon nap

Final Thought on How Much Time it Takes for an Afternoon Nap.

While it’s impossible to give a definitive answer to how long an afternoon nap should be, you can narrow it down. For most adults, a power nap of fifteen to thirty minutes is best. Otherwise, aim for more than sixty minutes. Taking a nap can help you feel more energized, allowing you to get through the day and remain productive.

An afternoon nap can also help reduce stress, improving your overall physical and mental health. Taking a short nap can help you work faster and more diligently. Don’t miss out on the many benefits of napping by ensuring you sleep for the right amount of time.

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