Have you ever encountered a romantic manipulator? Perhaps you’re in a relationship with this type of person right now. This individual, no doubt, is a master, so they’ve learned how to be so subtle with their methods that you might not even realize what’s going on.

Everyone has manipulative ways they use when they feel threatened or to protect themselves. However, the romantic manipulator is different; they seek to gain something from you. And so they will use and abuse you to accomplish this task.

There’s an imbalance of power between you two, as they see themselves as superior in the relationship. They want to make you feel utterly powerless, so you have no option but to turn to them for your every need.

Fifteen Red Flags of a Romantic Manipulator

When you’re in a toxic relationship with constant manipulation, it can cause significant distress. Being on the receiving end of such mistreatment can affect your mental health. This selfish manipulator alters your thoughts and feelings by using tricks to coerce you into doing things you don’t want to do.

This person seeks to control you, and they have an unfair advantage, using mind games and other methods to gain power. Here are fifteen warning signs that you’re involved with an emotional manipulator.

romantic manipulator

1. The Romantic Manipulator Always Plays the Victim

Being in love and a romance can play with your emotions a bit. However, you’ve noticed that this person tends to be higher strung than most. They always seem to play the victim card in any situation, and this toxic trait is pretty evident from the start.

They think the whole world is against them, and they do nothing wrong. This is a substantial red flag that their recollection of events isn’t accurate. They won’t stop until they destroy your self-esteem and take you to rock bottom.

2. They Use Your Vulnerabilities Against You

This is not the kind of person you can be vulnerable with, as they will use your vulnerabilities against you. Emotional manipulation preys on getting to know intimate things about you and using these things to their advantage. You probably kick yourself after you tell them anything, as you never learn.

3. The Romantic Manipulator Makes You Think You Can’t Live Without Them

The emotionally manipulated person will do many things for you, but they will use them against you. For instance, they might take you to a tropical island, but they will never let you forget how much it cost and that they paid for it.

They might love to cook and volunteer to cook dinner for a week. Sadly, later they will complain that you haven’t lifted a finger to help with the meals or the expense. Everything they do for you goes onto a mental scorecard they will use against you later.

4. You’re Criticized Constantly

It doesn’t matter what you do for them, as it’s never enough. How can this be what romance is supposed to be like, when your emotions are always a wreck? You walk on eggshells around this person because nothing is ever good enough.

You feel like the ugly duckling in the relationship, as they appear superior. This manipulator plays you like a fiddle, and you fall into the trap.

5. There Are Constant Disagreements

When it comes to romance, your emotions are all over the place. However, in this situation, you seem to be more emotional than before. You always feel like you disagree with them, as they don’t truly understand you.

These arguments are orchestrated to gain control, and you’re being manipulated. You feel like you say and do the wrong thing continuously, but you must realize that the problem isn’t you.

6. Pathological Lying is Common for a Romantic Manipulator

Every word from the manipulator’s mouth should be evaluated, as they have a regular habit of lying. They uproot your emotions because you can’t believe a word they say. You’re probably frequently mad at them since they can’t be truthful, which can hurt your romance.

7. They Have a Pessimistic Perspective

A manipulator is a negative person, as they dominate through pessimism. Even in the best situations, they tend to find the bad. For example, they get a job promotion that will give them more money but aren’t happy about it.

They can’t stop focusing on the part where they only got it because their first choice didn’t want the position. They can’t be happy no matter the situation.

8. Dates Are Always at Their House

They want you to come to their house rather than them coming to yours. They feel safe doing their dirty work in their abode, so they have a “home court” advantage. If they don’t want to come to your house for a visit, it’s a big red flag. Since you feel on edge in a new environment, it gives them a leg up in the situation.

romantic manipulator

9. There’s Gaslighting

According to the National Library of Medicine, gaslight syndrome involves a manipulator with sadomasochistic tendencies. The goal here is to twist and confuse things until you question your sanity. Some people go as far as trying to have their partner committed for mental instability.

10. A Romantic Manipulator Uses Passive-Aggressive Behaviors

You look to this person for romance and safety, but they always have some indirect aggression. They carry a chip on their shoulder of something you’ve done in the past. Though they say they’re over it, they keep making snide comments that prove otherwise.

It’s typical for this person to mask their compliments as insults so that they can keep you confused. They might say, “I think it’s so cute how you’re so immature and childish.” While they’re telling you you’re cute, they’re also saying you’re childish in the same breath.

According to the National Library of Medicine, a passive-aggressive personality disorder is expected but not officially recognized by the American Psychological Association. This person struggles with the internal belief that life isn’t fair and has trouble expressing anger. They dislike confrontation involving their feelings, so they use passive behaviors to get their point across.

11. They Speak for You

The narcissist wants to control every part of you. They want to dominate your emotions and make you putty in their hands. They won’t let you order for yourself at a restaurant, nor will they allow you to make simple decisions about your life. They control every aspect of you to make you feel inferior to them.

12. Mocking and Belittling You Are Commonplace

They can destroy your emotions by constantly putting you down. You won’t feel romance or much love towards someone who mocks your every word. They aim to make you feel less than others, as they can easily manipulate you when they destroy your esteem.

13. They Put You in Uncomfortable Situations

Romantic manipulators love to put their significant other in uncomfortable situations, especially in public. They love to create drama wherever they go, so they yell at you, call you names, and shame you where others can hear.

Don’t think they will stand up for you behind your back, as they will quickly cut you down to your friends and family members. This is the kind of person that has no qualms about showing up at your place of employment and causing a scene, either.

14. The Romantic Manipulator Makes You Feel Like You Live in a Fishbowl

You feel like your every move is monitored. You have no privacy, and they make all the decisions for you. They may talk you into things you don’t want to do, like cosmetic surgeries and other risky ventures.

15. Blackmail is Always Involved

When you’re involved with a romantic manipulator, you will hear statements like, “You better do this, or else….” These selfish people will use blackmail as a weapon to control you. They will threaten to expose your most intimate parts to gain the upper hand. They use these tactics to get you back in line with their wishes.

romantic manipulator

Final Thoughts on the Romantic Manipulator

Being involved with a romantic manipulator is not an easy thing to do. What started as a blissful relationship has turned towards the dark side. They strive to keep your emotions in an uproar to control you and the situations around you.

When you’re with someone who uses and abuses you, you may feel like your life is in a fishbowl. This is a toxic situation, and you owe it to yourself to get out of it. There’s someone better out there for you, but the real problem is now you have emotional baggage that you must unpack before you can have a healthy relationship.