How do you know if you’re close to ending a relationship? Indeed, many people stay long past the expiration of their marriage. But how do you know when and if it’s the right time to say goodbye?
Matters of the heart are never easy to manage, but calling it quits can be a painful process that many folks try to avoid.
Having finances, assets, and children involved in the situation always makes everything more complex. Is there a way to know if you’re better off apart than together? When relationships aren’t working, they can become unhealthy for all involved.
It takes a big person to stand up and say that they want to leave. Consequently, how do you know if it’s over or just a normal dry spell that many couples go through? There are many indications or red flags that it’s the right time to call it quits, but are you brave enough to admit that you’re close to walking away for good?
Fifteen Signs a Couple Is Close To Ending a Relationship
If you think your relationship isn’t going to last, you may have many questions. You may wonder if there are any signs that things are over or if there’s any glimmer of hope left between you two. Here are fifteen common indications that indicate a couple is close to saying goodbye.
Communication is one of the foundational building blocks in a relationship. If you don’t communicate with one another, you suddenly lose interest in their day, week, or life. When you find that you live your life with no text messages, phone calls, or time to talk about their life occurrences, it’s a sign of trouble.
2. You Spend No Time Together
You were once the center of their universe, but now they barely know you exist. You don’t spend any time together, and you haven’t been out to eat or to a movie in so long you can’t remember the last time. You spend more time with friends and family members than the one who once was the center of your world.
3. All You Do Is Argue if You’re Close to Ending a Relationship
When you do spend any time together, all you do is argue. You’re not even sure what you say about it because the fighting has become so frequent that you can’t get along regarding any matter. You would rather avoid them altogether, as it means one peaceful day with no fighting.
4. You Separate Finances
You know the end is in sight, so you’ve decided to separate finances that were once together. You’ve got your insurance policy, and now there’s a checking account that the other party doesn’t have access to.
You run your home like a business where each party pays half. While this is acceptable in many households today, yours was never that way before. However, you’re learning a new financial normal, and you’re not unhappy about it either.
5. You Lead Separate Lives When on the Verge of Ending a Relationship
You have your friends and things to do, and they have theirs. You two don’t do anything together, so you’re not sure why you stay. You feel like business partners more than friends or even lovers.
6. The Relationship Has Turned Abusive
When ending a relationship is too hard for you, your time together can turn sour. There can be issues of verbal or even physical abuse. You should know that you don’t have to take this kind of behavior as you deserve better.
It’s often thought that women are the victims at a man’s hands, but studies show that men frequently suffer from abusive relationships in silence. Psych Central says there are many reasons why men don’t reach out for help. They are normalization, minimization, shame, fear, isolation, betrayal, and a lack of support. Men need to speak out and get help as they can be victims too.
7. You Can’t Stand To Be In The Same Room
Once your skin tingled when they walked by, but now you feel like it’s crawling with disgust. You can’t stand to be near them, and they feel the same. You live in the same house but avoid each other at all costs.
You’ve decided that you should have your own space, so you now occupy the guest bedroom. You don’t want to think about even accidentally touching during the night, so you moved out. You like having your own space and the independence it brings, which is a red flag that a couple is close to ending a relationship.
9. When You’re Close to Ending a Relationship, You Have Less or No Intimacy
All the hugging, kissing, cuddling, and all the beautiful things that made your relationship so wonderful have stopped. You don’t communicate with one another, let alone touch. If they did try to hug or show any affection, you would reject it immediately.
10. There’s a Third Party In The Equation
One or both of you is talking to someone new. You are so close to leaving that you’re planning your escape with someone else. Neither one of you has made it official, but it’s over, and you’ve moved on.
11. No Terms of Endearment
Forget using cute little pet names or other terms of endearment that you once did, as now you call them by their name. You wouldn’t think of using honey, sweetie, or baby when contacting them, as it makes your stomach turn to think about it. You can’t even imagine saying the words “I love you” either.
12. Future Plans Don’t Include Your Spouse
You’re making plans for your future, but it doesn’t include them at all. You have big dreams and goals, but they’ve changed and have excluded the one person who you thought would be yours forever. Your future looks bright, but they’re not in it.
13. Spending More Time With Friends
Any free time you have is spent with your family and friends. You make plans that don’t include or revolve around your current relationship. You can think of 100 things you would instead do than spend two hours in the same room with them, let alone going out on the town.
14. One or Both People Refuse to Work on Relationship
You know there are issues in the relationship, and you’ve suggested counseling. However, one or both of you refuse to work on the problems. Counseling isn’t an option, and you feel that it’s a lost cause.
You think it would have been more beneficial to try to patch the holes in the Titanic. No matter what you do, your ship is sinking, and you want to jump overboard.
15. There’s Secretive Social Media Behavior
Social media is the cause of many breakups in this country. Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., wrote an article on Psychology Today regarding social media and how it interferes with relationships. It often creates anxiety and jealousy when one partner is on social media outlets constantly. It’s effortless to find other friends and even lovers when you’re on these social channels, so it can be a big problem when a couple is on the outs.
If you notice any differences in social media habits like creating new screen names, changing passwords, or becoming secretive about their interactions, it’s all red flags. If your partner is considering leaving, they may look for a plan B, so they can make their escape without being alone. For many people, the thought of being alone is scarier than being with someone they no longer love.
Ending a relationship can be one of the most challenging decisions you will make in your life. While marriage is not the institution it once was, no one gets together intending to go to divorce court one day. You choose your partner to spend forever with, and ending a relationship is hard to do.
What is it about the words “until death do us part” that seems to play like a loop over and over in your brain? Facing the prospect of walking away and letting this person go seems so overwhelming. Though things aren’t good between the two of you right now, how can you live without them?
Being single again doesn’t seem fun to anyone, especially if you remember how dark and lonely the nights become. If it seems like an unbearable burden to take care of the home, finances and have no one there to hold you when you cry, you should know that fear is not a reason to stay. Many people stay in unhappy relationships because they don’t know anything else.
However, if you and your partner are no longer suitable for one another, it’s possible you would be better apart. It would help if you learned to put your doubts aside and stop telling yourself that things will get better, as it’s clear they’re only getting worse. Only you can decide if it’s time to call it quits, or is there something left that’s worth fighting for.