Do you feel like you might be stuck in a toxic or unhealthy relationship?
Even the best relationships aren’t always easy. However, there should be some joy and happiness between the two of you. Your partner should love and accept you without trying to change you. Things always begin as exciting and magical, but once you settle into a routine, it takes work.
However, once you learn about your partner and their ways, you may find that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. A healthy union is about trust, respect, and honesty, and you should always appreciate one another and your boundaries. No person should have any control over the other one.
You may often question whether you’re in a healthy relationship or if something is off. Thankfully, there are some clear indications that the person you thought was perfect has more problems than a math book. If someone were waving a red flag in front of you, would you notice it?
25 Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship
Do you think your relationship is healthy, or do you worry that something isn’t right? Don’t ignore those gut instincts that tell you something is off. Here are the twenty-five things that may indicate trouble in paradise.
1. Being Overly Critical of You
Someone who is overly critical of you will make you feel like you can’t do anything right. Whether it’s cooking a meal or buying them a gift, they make you feel like everything you do is wrong. This can affect your self-esteem, but the problem is not your issue. Rather, it indicates some hidden challenges within themselves.
2. Poor Communication
Sometimes you feel like you’re guessing what’s going on in their life, as they don’t keep you in the loop. There are so many things you want to say, yet you two don’t talk about things. It seems as if there’s always this err of mystery between the two of you because communication is poor.
3. Keeping Secrets
One or both of you keeping secrets from each other is a recipe for disaster. A healthy relationship should have no secrets, and you should feel confident enough to tell your partner everything.
4. Lying
Deception is a horrible thing in a relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, then who can you trust? If they lie to you once, then they will lie time and again.
5. Cheating
It’s never okay to cheat on someone. Cheating means different things to different people, but even if they step outside the relationship for an emotional affair, it’s not okay. Remember, if they cheat one time, they will do it again when the opportunity arises.
6. Lack of Respect
A general sense of respect is essential in a relationship. Respecting one another is what keeps your connection special. When there’s a lack of respect, they will not consider your feelings, call names during arguments, and generally treat you poorly.
7. Can’t Trust One Another
When someone lies, cheats, or does other things to make you distrust them, then one of the foundations of the relationship is broken. You must be able to trust that your partner has your best interests at heart.
8. Control Issues
Do they try to control you? Do you feel like you have no say in your life anymore? When someone has control issues, they will dictate every facet of your life. They want to say what you can do, who you can hang out with, and how much money you will spend. Seriously, you don’t need another parent.
9. Lack of Commitment
Committing to one another is essential. If you’re stuck in the friend’s zone for too long, it can cause feelings of resentment. When someone refuses to commit to you, it’s a sign that there are some underlying issues. You want someone proud to call you their partner, and they will shout it to the rooftops and not hide it from people.
10. Treats Friends or Family Poorly
Watch how your partner treats your friends and family members. Do they become jealous when they see you interacting with others? Your family and friends are important to you, so they must be treated with the utmost respect.
11. Monopolizes Time
One of the tricks of a toxic individual is to monopolize your time. Under the surface is a fear that you will leave them if you get around other people, so they try to take up as much of your day as possible.
12. Gaslighting Occurs in an Unhealthy Relationship
It’s downright annoying and unhealthy when someone never believes they are wrong. Even worse, they try to pin their wrongs on you. They will make you think and feel that you’re losing your sanity if it means protecting yourself.
13. Never Apologizes
They’re never wrong, ever! They won’t admit to any wrongdoing even if it’s right in front of them. They would rather lie, cheat, or do whatever possible to keep from getting caught.
14. Extreme Jealousy
Extreme jealousy is not only a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but it can be dangerous. Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D. from Psychology Today, writes that morbid jealousy is a pathological control. The issues usually stem from the fear of sexual unfaithfulness, and unless this person gets help, your life will be miserable.
15. Giving Up Individuality
Do you feel like you’re not an individual anymore, but rather someone else controls every aspect of your life? When you can’t even decide if you can go to the grocery store alone, something is wrong. It’s not healthy to give up the things you love to please or hold onto a partner.
16. Verbal Abuse
There is never any reason to call names, put someone down, and make them feel less than. Derogatory verbal displays are things that children partake in, and bullying at any age isn’t acceptable. You don’t have to live this way, as there’s someone out there that will respect you and treat you right.
17. Physical Abuse
If someone hits you once, get out! There is no call for any physical abuse in a relationship. You’re not a toddler that gets to hit, punch, kick, or bite people. No one should ever lay a hand on you in anger, and if they do it once, they will do it again. There are too many programs out there to help people in these situations.
18. Addiction Issues
When there is an alcohol or drug dependency issue within your relationships, it’s toxic. Someone who loves the feeling of a drug more than you is trouble. They will cause you significant emotional distress as well as break you financially. If they don’t get the help they need, then you must move on.
19. Financial Dependence
Financial dependence is another significant issue in an unhealthy relationship. When one party doesn’t work and totally depends on the other for their needs, it can cause trouble. Also, it’s imperative that finances are done together and not one person dominating the money.
20. A Secretive Past
Do they not talk about their past? Is it as if they have no family or friends before you? When there’s a secretive past, you need to find out why. It’s usually because they have a history of unhealthy relationships.
21. Never There for You
They want you to be there for them at the drop of a hat but don’t expect the same consideration in return. They may have a dependent personality disorder, which is even worse. According to the National Library of Medicine, this person has an extreme need to be cared for, but don’t expect them to take care of you in your hour of need.
22. Family and Friends Don’t Like Them
Listen to your family and friends, especially if they feel you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Often, people on the outside can see your relationship very differently than you, and they can give you a different view of things. Don’t be so quick to toss their observations to the side.
23. Bad Temper or Anger Issues
Anger issues are a sign of trouble. Many hostile people will escalate to abuse if they don’t get things under control.
24. Gut Instincts Tell You Something’s Off
Your gut instincts are there to protect you. Don’t be so quick to toss aside these feelings, as they may save you from many heartaches.
25. You Have No Say
You deserve to have a say in your life. If you feel like someone is controlling you to the point where you don’t even run your life anymore, then it’s an unhealthy relationship, and you need to get out.
Final Thoughts on Identifying You Are in an Unhealthy Relationship
You must love yourself enough to know when things aren’t healthy. Please don’t get on the merry-go-round where you can’t break free because you feel attached or dependent on them.
Someone out there will love and take care of you the way you need them to, so don’t waste your time on all the people who are toxic and will destroy you emotionally. Avoid staying trapped in an unhealthy relationship by using these twenty-five tips as your guide.
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