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Going Gluten-free Might Not Help People Who Don’t Have Celiac Disease, Study Says

May 17, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A recent study found that going gluten-free doesn’t benefit people without celiac disease.

The study published on May 21st, 2021, by JAMA Network Open also found that women without celiac don’t experience a cognitive decline from eating gluten.

Women in their 50s and 60s who ate the highest amounts of gluten still performed well on cognitive tasks. They scored similarly on cognitive tests to women who ate lower amounts of gluten.

Study co-author Dr. Andrew T. Chan told United Press International (UPI) that people without celiac didn’t improve cognitive function on a low-gluten diet.

“This is in contrast to some … popular press that gluten was harmful and could contribute to cognitive decline or so-called ‘brain fog,'” said Chan, a professor at Harvard Medical School and a gastroenterologist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

Most people in the U.S. consume gluten in their diets. It’s commonly found in foods containing wheat, barley, rye, and other grains. In people with celiac disease, gluten has been linked to a heightened risk of cognitive impairment, according to Chan and his colleagues.

Celiac disease affects approximately 1% of the U.S. population. For people with this condition, gluten triggers a severe immune response which can cause damage to the small intestine. This makes foods with gluten difficult to digest, so they must follow a gluten-free diet.

Celiac disease can also cause multiple neuropsychiatric symptoms because of the heightened immune response. Some people experience cognitive impairment, depression, and anxiety, according to Chan and his colleagues. They added that it’s unclear whether the protein triggers the same response in those without celiac disease.

The study showing gluten-free diets don’t benefit those without celiac disease.

For this study, the researchers recorded the daily gluten consumption of nearly 13,500 women in their 50s and 60s. They did not have a history of celiac disease or its symptoms. The study tracked the participants’ gluten intake over the course of 25 years. It tested their cognitive function at the study’s conclusion and compared these scores for women with the highest gluten intake to those with the lowest.

The study authors determined from the data that long-term gluten consumption didn’t affect cognitive function in middle-aged women without celiac disease. Chan said,

“People without a history of celiac disease should not modify their gluten intake under the belief that it will somehow prevent cognitive decline.”

He added that the evidence doesn’t support going gluten-free for those with no history or diagnosis of celiac disease.

However, there’s a huge financial incentive for companies selling gluten-free foods to continue pushing the diet on customers. According to Harvard University, the gluten-free food industry grew a whopping 136% between 2013 and 2015, with nearly $12 billion in sales in 2015. Interestingly, the researchers discovered that most people buying these products didn’t have celiac disease.

While gluten-free companies tout their products as beneficial to health, studies show the opposite is true. For people without celiac disease, going gluten-free may increase the risk of developing obesity and metabolic syndrome. Doctors describe this as a cluster of biochemical and physiological abnormalities that increase heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and stroke risk. Research shows that people without celiac may experience weight gain due to improved nutrient absorption.

However, processed gluten-free foods often contain lower fiber and nutrient quality. They also tend to have more refined sugars, saturated fats, and a higher glycemic index. All of these factors can increase the risk of disease when people without celiac eat gluten-free products.

Going gluten-free isn’t necessary for health for those who do not have Celiac disease.

Unless you have celiac disease, there’s no real benefit to consuming gluten-free foods. In fact, it may actually lead to worse health down the road. Clinical nutritionist Samantha Heller analyzed the study results and agreed with the authors’ findings. She says that gluten won’t cause brain rot, despite what the gluten-free food industry claims.

There’s a lot of fear-mongering and misinformation on gluten out there, but it doesn’t poison the brain. People who don’t have celiac or a wheat allergy can eat gluten without fearing negative health consequences. Gluten will not cause brain inflammation, cognitive decline, or gut issues in people without celiac disease.

However, other preventable diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and obesity can lead to cognitive problems, according to Heller. For example, Type 2 diabetes almost doubles the risk of dementia. Also, studies have found that heart disease leads to a 45% increase in impaired cognition. According to Heller, overweight or obese people have a higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

She added that, instead of pushing misinformation, we should focus on improving our overall health. Doing what we can to prevent disease will boost brain function, and it doesn’t require going gluten-free.

Here are a few common practices to maintain health and well-being:

Make sure to exercise daily, doing something you enjoy. It will make it easier to work out if you actually like the activity.
Eat more vegetables with your meals. Countries with the longest-living people eat mostly veggies and consider meat a complement to their meals.
Include fresh fruits in your diet as well, along with more whole grain products. Foods like 100% whole wheat bread, multigrain cereals, oats, and barley are healthy choices.
Avoid vegetable oils, as they’re more refined and can actually lead to heart problems. Choose extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, or butter instead.
Consume processed animal proteins, like lunch meats and sausage, sparingly or avoid them altogether. These have been linked to a higher risk of cancer and heart problems. If you’re a meat-eater, choose fresh cuts of meat that haven’t been smoked or processed.
Drink plenty of water or herbal teas to stay hydrated. Avoid drinking excess caffeine or sugary beverages.

Final thoughts about a study showing that going gluten-free does not improve health in those without celiac

Despite the gluten-free food industry advertises, following this diet doesn’t make sense for those without celiac. If you’ve been sucked into the gluten-free trap, we hope this study will ease your fears about gluten. You can safely eat products with gluten as long as you don’t have celiac disease or a wheat allergy. You’ll save money, too, as gluten-free products are 242% more expensive than regular products, on average!

20 Signs a Friend Might Be Dealing With Spousal Abuse

May 17, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you believe someone you care about faces a struggle with spousal abuse?

It’s normal for people to have less time to spend with their friends and family when they enter a new relationship or get married. Understandably, they want to spend every waking minute together, as new love is often an overwhelming emotion that dominates their life.

However, how do you know if the changes are due to true love or something else? Could their absence be due to spousal abuse, and do they need help? If your once best friend is hardly around and is eager to end phone calls, it can be due to a relationship issue.

As things progress, you may witness verbal bashings on the phone or watch them be dragged out of a public place because they didn’t follow orders. Many relationships start as a picture-perfect romance; however, they end in disaster.

Identifying the Twenty Most Frequent Signs of Spousal Abuse

Sadly, the indications that someone is in a psychologically abusive or physically abusive relationship are often subtle. These signs may go unnoticed to you and those around them. Most people don’t get on social media and post their need for help, as it’s up to you to figure out what’s going on.

Some signs of spousal abuse are glaringly obvious, while others are a bit more discrete. Here are the twenty red flags that someone might be dealing with an abusive and c.

1. Their Grooming Habits Are Changing

A person who seemingly always had it together may begin to look like they don’t care about their appearance anymore. Their once quaffed hair has become a rat’s nest that looks like it hasn’t been combed. The truth maybe they have 101 things on their mind, and being a snappy dresser isn’t one of them.

Did you know that one of the most significant indicators of mental illness is a lack of personal hygiene? According to Mental Help, when someone becomes depressed, their hygiene is often one of the first things to go. It’s not that they don’t care about their appearance. It’s that the things going on inside their head dominates their life.

2. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have Physical Wounds

It’s normal for people to stub their toe, burn a finger while cooking, or get the occasional bruise or bump. However, when you start seeing more physical wounds and the explanations become more bizarre, it indicates an issue.

Abusive situations can take on many forms, and it doesn’t always result in a black eye. If you think things might be out of whack, confront your friend about the frequency and severity of their wounds.

3. Clothing Are Seasonally Inappropriate

People who have physical wounds to hide will often use seasonally inappropriate clothing. For instance, if they usually wear shorts in the summer, they have only worn jeans this year might be a significant indication of an issue. Additionally, wearing scarves constantly or long sleeves when it’s hot outside can also indicate trouble.

4. Appearance Improves or Making Drastic Changes

While some folks let their appearance go, others try to change and become the trophy wife or husband the other person wants. You may see them get plastic surgery, do other enhancements to their body, and get a new wardrobe. They feel that it will keep the spousal abuse at bay if they become the perfect person for their partner.

5. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have a Changing Social Life

An individual in an abusive situation won’t be as social as before, especially since they have a big secret to hide. They will avoid social activities as they know it will upset their partner and cause reprimand or abuse.

6. The Confidence Level Has Sunken to A New Low

Was this person once confident, but now their self-esteem is exceptionally low? It’s an indication that something has changed in their life. It doesn’t always indicate an abusive situation, but it can be one sign that something isn’t right.

7. The Body Language Is Different

Body language is a significant indicator of what’s going on inside. If your once chill friend is suddenly uptight and not able to relax, it’s a red flag.

8. They’re Distracted or Preoccupied

You can’t even carry on a conversation with this person anymore. Their mind is a million miles away, and they seem to be somewhere else. They could be preoccupied with the abusive situation in their home.

9. They Can’t Put Down Their Phone with Not with Their Partner

If you manage to score some time with them, they will need to be texting or calling their spouse regularly. It’s almost as if they’re afraid of what might happen if they don’t keep in close contact with them. Those who are involved in spousal abuse certainly don’t want to upset the other party.

10. They Only Tell You Superficial Things About Their Relationship

When you ask how things are going with their relationship, they tend to keep things very surface. They don’t want to reveal too much of what’s going on. The chances are that they feel they’re to blame for the state of their relationship, and they don’t want you to see their spouse in a negative light.

11. Spousal Abuse Victims Quit Posting on Social Media Platforms

If this person always posted on social media, but now they’re gone, it’s an indication that something is going on. When someone is being abused, they try to hide so that their situation isn’t brought to light. Their abuser has them manipulated into thinking they will hurt them further or even kill them if they try to get away.

12. Communication Habits Change During Spousal Abuse

You hardly ever hear from your friend anymore, and if they do call, the conversation seems forced or rushed. It’s not that they don’t love you; it’s that they don’t love the situation that they’re in. As a result, they don’t know how to tell you that they need help.

13. They’re Distant and Blow Off Friends

Other friends and even family members are complaining that it’s impossible to get ahold of this person. They ignore phone calls, texts and don’t show up at family dinners anymore. They’ve become so distant because they’re afraid that someone might realize what’s going on in their life.

14. They Won’t Discuss the Past

They don’t remember anything before the person they’re with now. If you bring up the past, they’re eager to dismiss it because of the jealousy issues it raises with their current spouse.

15. They Stop Socializing and Doing Their Favorite Activities

Forget Friday night movies with their friends and the bowling league they were so proud of. Now, they only seem to have time for their spouse, and if they try to sneak away, it may become an ugly situation.

16. They’re Always Rushed

If you do manage to get a few minutes of your friend’s time, don’t be upset if they seem rushed. They may have time frames, and they fear what might happen if they don’t make it home in time.

17. It Always Looks Like They’re Sleep Deprived or Have Been Crying

You can tell someone who is abused by the bags under their eyes or the look as if they’ve cried all night. Since the eyes are the window to the soul, it’s evident that something internal is affecting their rest.

18. They Begin to Lie and Make-Up Stories

Your once trustworthy friend is now telling stories. You’ve caught them in a few lies, and it’s not like them at all. They’re probably covering for their abuser as they’ve confused love and devotion with a toxic relationship.

19. Spousal Abuse Victims Might Have Unexplained Financial Burdens

If you’ve noticed a significant change in your friend’s finances, it can be due to an abusive situation. The abuser will often cut off money from the other party to manage and manipulate them.

Money is almost always one of the tactics used by an abuser who needs to gain control, and it helps them keep them from escaping too.

20. The Emotions Change or Seem Fake

They smile, but it seems like this smile is forced. They will laugh, but it’s not the same as it used to be. Their emotions are fake and pushed, and their whole personality is changing.

Final Thoughts on Your Friend Dealing with Spousal Abuse

The longer a person stays in this kind of relationship, the more manipulated they will be. Additionally, a verbally abusive situation can turn physical in the blink of an eye. The worst thing you can do is ignore all the red flags.

A person experiencing spousal abuse may shut you out, but there are ways to help them. Your friend is worthy of love, the real, proper kind. They need to take back their life, and you can help.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is easy to reach at 1-800-799-7233. Encourage them to get help, even if you must slip them the number.

15 Things That Separate a Realist from a Pessimist

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

There’s a fine line between being a realist and being negative. It’s the same reason why some people can see the glass as half full while others see it as half empty. Realists take a pragmatic approach to their views and try to remain neutral rather than negative.

Let’s assume that you’ve been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a severe health condition that affects more than 7-10 million people within this country, according to Parkinson’s News Today. Considering the situation with the optimist, pessimist, and realistic individual, here are the various views that you can expect:

Optimist: “Well, thankfully, it’s not a terminal illness, and I can still live a long life.”
Pessimist: “Great, now I’m going to shake uncontrollably and end up in a nursing home on a feeding tube.”
Realist: “Parkinson’s is a serious disease that I will have to live with. Thankfully, it’s not fatal, though it will cause me some discomfort. Treatments can be helpful.”

In this scenario, the realist is right in the middle between the pessimists and the optimists. They take both the positive and negative to form an objective opinion.

They see things precisely as they’re presented. Remember, life is all about the ups and downs and craziness along the way, but you must learn to keep things in perspective. Is it any wonder why those who dwell on negative thought processes have more mental and physical health problems?

Fifteen Beliefs That Separate the Realist from The Pessimist

So how do you separate the beliefs of the realist and the pessimist? Though it’s an exceedingly small line to maneuver, there’s absolutely a difference. Here are fifteen ways for you to consider.

1. They Acknowledge Their Weaknesses

It’s never easy to admit your faults, but realist has learned that they need to be honest with themselves. If they’re always late, they will say they have this issue and try to do better. The pessimist will take the matter to heart and see it as a significant character flaw.

2. A Realist Will Accept That No One Is Perfect

Realistic folks know that there isn’t a perfect person on this planet. If you were flawless, there would be no reason to learn life lessons to help you flourish. Life is all about growth and becoming a better person.

However, the pessimist puts others down because they see them as “less than.” They look at the shortcomings within themselves and use that as a basis to judge others.

3. They Give Good Dating Advice

Looking at things factually allows you to give sound advice. When seeking help in the dating scene, you should always talk with someone with a real-world view. Pessimists can’t be optimistic about dating or falling in love, as they’re stuck in a negative mindset. Talk to someone who can look at it realistically, as they usually give advice you can use.

4. They Don’t Assume the Worst

The pessimist will look at the situation and always assume the worst. For instance, imagine your car broke down on the freeway on your way to work. They will automatically think the engine blew and they will need a new car.

A person with a realistic mindset won’t jump to conclusions until a mechanic checks out the vehicle. They know 101 things on a motor vehicle can make it stop running, and they wait until they’re faced with the truth before reacting.

5. A Realist Knows That a Difference of Opinion Isn’t a Personal Attack

Someone who looks at things realistically knows that everyone has a different opinion. The world would be boring if everyone thought and felt the same. However, a negative person tends to see differing opinions as personal attacks, which isn’t the case.

6. They Combat Issues Head On

In keeping with their rational nature, someone who thinks realistically tries to resolve conflict immediately. However, the negative Nelly wants to run and hide, as they feel hopeless and lost. Realists use their hope, faith, and spirituality to get through tough times, while pessimists fall to pieces.

7. They Know the Storms Will Pass

The pessimist is ready to throw in the towel when trouble strikes, but the realistic person knows that it can’t always rain. But eventually, the sun will shine again.

Having the “this too shall pass” attitude is constructive. Life is full of storms, and you can’t fall to pieces over every raincloud that comes your way.

8. A Realist Looks for Creative Problem-Solving Skills

One characteristic that is well-loved by sensible people is their unique problem-solving abilities. They will think outside the box to resolve an issue, and you won’t catch them losing a night’s sleep over it. However, the pessimistic person is quite different in their approach.

This individual is likely to become depressed as they feel the situation is not repairable.

9. They Have Clarity and Decency in Thinking

The realistic person isn’t expecting good things, but it doesn’t mean they’re strictly looking for bad ones. However, they use past indications and facts to gauge an informed decision.

However, the pessimist jumps to conclusions based on their irrational feelings. They let their emotions run wild, impairing their thinking and judgment.

10. They’re Objective and Scientific by Nature

If they hear on a commentary that the hole in the ozone layer is getting larger, they won’t believe anything until they look at scientific studies. They want proof that what they’re hearing is true; then, they look at the evidence objectively.

On the other hand, the pessimist would hear the report and take it as a sign of the end of the world of impending doom. They wouldn’t do any research, but they would take the person’s word from the documentary and panic over it.

11. They Don’t Dwell on What Could Be

A pessimist can drive themselves crazy worrying about the future and what could be. However, the realistic person tends to take each day as they come. They don’t get all worked up over the doom and gloom and what might happen, as they’ve learned to live in the moment.

12. They Have Hope

More people should strive to have a sensible point of view as it gives them hope. Did you know that many pessimistic people often have underlying severe mental disorders because they feel hopeless? Negative thinking can indeed affect your mind, body, and soul.

According to an article published by the National Library of Medicine, optimists have better mental health as there is power in positive thinking.

13. They Don’t See the World Through Filters

An optimist is someone who looks at the world through rose-colored glasses and might be oblivious to some dangers. The pessimist looks at the world through dark glasses, and dark clouds and rain plague their existence. However, the realistic person tends to have no filters. They see the world for what it is.

14. Realists Are Generally Easy-Going People

Those who have a simplified thought process often are very easygoing. They don’t get all worked up like the negative folks, so they don’t have much stress on their plate. They tend to take things as they come and don’t lie awake at night worrying about things that might never happen, either.

15. They’re Not Brutal

The best thing about real people is that they’re not brutal. People often come to you when they want to know the truth, knowing you will tell them the way it is without being mean. No, you won’t sugarcoat things, but you’re not going to lean into the negative side, either.

Unlike the pessimist who tends to freak out and spaz about minor issues, this individual is very informed but never jumps to conclusions. No wonder so many people like to have the realistic individual in their inner circle, as it helps keep them grounded.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Differences Between a Pessimist and a Realist

Life is all about perceptions. Each person can look at a situation and see it very differently. For example, if you’ve been in a car accident, the optimist might say they needed a new car anyway, and the incident was a blessing in disguise.

The pessimist might say the insurance company will never pay off this loan, and they will be in debt and never be able to get another car. The realist will wait till the insurance report comes in to react. They want the facts, and they’re not going to jump to conclusions or stress till they find out the details.

Once they have gathered all the information they need, they will decide how to proceed. There are times in life when you will have a bit of all these personality types. It’s like being on the freeway; it’s always safest to ride in the middle lane, which means you’re neither going too fast nor too slow.

More people should strive to take on the realistic point of view, as it’s an excellent spot to be for overall good mental health.

15 Signs You Should Raise Your Standards in Your Relationship

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Everyone has specific criteria they desire in a partner, so you raise your standards in the search.

Some have a mental checklist that they keep ensuring that they check all the boxes. However, if you can’t find someone that lives up to your expectations, you may lower your standards.

Finding love is difficult, but are your standards so high that you’re looking for someone that only exists in fairy tales or your dreams? Have you ever heard that if you don’t stand for something that you will fall for anything?

Well, don’t fall for just anybody. You want to make sure you’re with the right person. Though it’s tempting to lower your requirements to keep from being alone, you need to keep your standards high for your protection.

Remember, there’s only one thing worse than being single, and that’s when you’re with the wrong partner. The wrong guy or girl can make your life miserable. Even the good ones take work and can still drive you mad at times.

Fifteen Ways to Raise Your Standards

It sounds strange to hear someone say that you need to raise your standards. You must safeguard your heart, as once it’s broken, it takes a long time to mend. You can’t just give your heart away to anyone that checks boxes on your proverbial list.

Additionally, you cannot lower morals or beliefs to find someone who looks good on your arm. Here are fifteen ways to evaluate your standards and help you keep them high.

1. Determine What’s Most Important to You

Determine the things that you absolutely want to have in a partner. Do you like someone with a bubbly personality or a person who is quiet and meek?

Determine what values and lifestyle you want and choose someone that is a good match for your personality. Set your boundaries, and don’t deviate from them.

2. Never Be Swayed by Outside Influences

If you’re single far beyond the expected time frame, then your friends and family members feel they must help you. You will be badgered and encouraged to date people from all walks of life.

They may even persuade you to stop being so picky. However, you don’t have to listen to them. It’s tempting to buy into the loneliness and drop your criteria, but you don’t have to settle.

3. Use A Relationship Coach

It sounds like a bizarre job title, but a relationship coach can help you determine what qualities to look for in a mate. While you may be attracted to the “bad boy,” what you need is someone grounded and stable. These folks can help you put your goals in writing.

4. Keep Your Standards Purposeful

It’s okay if you have a vivid picture of what your perfect partner looks like. You want someone who will enhance your life and not destroy it. Some good standards to have for a spouse are things like the following traits, according to your needs:

•Hardworking

•Loving

•Honest

•Caring

•Highly Educated

•Wants Children

While these are all great qualities to have, you shouldn’t turn down someone just because they miss a couple of the marks. If they check most of the boxes, give them a chance.

5. Know Your Worth

Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself. You need to know your true worth. Don’t think dollars and cents, and don’t ever settle for anyone who treats you “less than” or brings you to a level that is beneath you.

6. Embrace The Person You Are

You’re a human being that has been made uniquely. There will never be another person quite like you. You don’t have to settle for someone with significant flaws when those times of desperation come.

Embrace who and what you are, and know that you’re valuable to your family, friends, and self.

7. Don’t Ignore Warning Signs

When you start into a relationship, you will often see red flags along the way. Some of these precursors are more ominous than others. However, when you see things that don’t sit well with you, it’s time to raise your standards, not lower them.

If someone lies or misrepresents themselves to you, it doesn’t take long for their true colors to come shining through. Sure, it’s challenging to start over from scratch, but it’s much better than living in misery.

8. Believe In Yourself

It’s okay to pat yourself on the back and be proud of who you’re in life. You can hold your head high and walk down the street knowing you’re the best person you can be. When it comes to the dating world, it’s okay to hype yourself up a bit.

Your strong, intelligent, beautiful/handsome, and it’s time you start believing it. Each morning when you get out of bed, try reciting positive affirmations that help you believe in yourself.

According to BestSelf Co, those who use positive affirmations have a better outlook on life. Nothing makes you more attractive to potential suitors than a good attitude.

9. Let The Past Guide You

Rather than wallowing in the disappointments of the past, use these life lessons as steppingstones. You’re not the same person you were a month ago, a year ago, or ten years ago. Life changes in the blink of an eye, and rather than using your past as a jail sentence, allow it to mold you into a better person for the future.

10. Learn Patience

While patience is a great virtue to have, it does not come easily. The reason why so many people end up in bad relationships is that they rush. When you raise your standards, it means you wait patiently until the perfect person comes your way.

Sure, it’s hard to sit on the sidelines while your friends get married and start families, but patience tells you that your day will come. The timing must be correct.

11. Never Give Up Hope

If you don’t have a vision, then you’ll perish. Those who don’t dream will die inside. It would help if you had hope, faith, and belief that good things can and will happen to you.

Have you ever seen someone get sick and give up their will to live? What happens to this person? Once their will to live is gone, they pass from this life.

12. Take Care of Your Appearance

Self-care is essential to being desirable to others. Raise your standards not only in your actions but also in your appearance. Get that new dress, spring for a fancy haircut, and don’t be afraid to buy that designer fragrance.

It’s time you take care of your needs first. When you take care of yourself, others can’t help but notice. It will make you way more attractive than someone who puts little thought into their appearance.

13. Don’t Compromise Your Beliefs

A desperate person will stoop to unthinkable levels to get what they want. Some people become so desperate for someone to love them that they will be with an individual who isn’t suited for them. Take, for instance, a girl that falls in love with someone she knows who uses illegal drugs.

Sure, the love and support they give them feel so good at that moment, but she has no idea the life of torment she’s in for with this individual. Nothing good ever comes on compromising your beliefs and values to find love.

14. Be Honest with Yourself and Them

You don’t believe in lying, and you’ve always been known for telling the truth. However, it’s easy to embellish your attributes a bit. The world of internet dating has opened the door for people to be dishonest.

A study was done by The Independent in the United Kingdom found that seven percent of all messages sent on dating apps were dishonest. It’s tempting, but be yourself, even if you’re hiding behind a computer or smartphone screen.

15. Be Kind

You want to show your best self when dating anyone. Raise your standards to showcase your attributes. It’s easy to play mind games and even dominate the situation, but you want to give this person the same respect you deserve.

You don’t want to appear insecure or cruel, so never talk bad or gossip about others, and treat the person you’re with well. Even if it’s the first date and you don’t want there to be a second one, enjoy the time you’re spending with them.

Just because they’re not “the one” for you doesn’t mean that they deserve anything less than your kindness and consideration.

Final Thoughts on Raising Your Standards

Many people who’ve been hurt badly raise their standards to superior levels. The goal is to avoid being hurt again. However, you take a chance each time you get involved with someone, but it’s a chance worth taking.

To find a great relationship, you must be opened to receiving it. There are amazing people out there that can click with you and be your other half, but you first must know your self-worth and that you deserve that kind of love. Change your outlook, keep your standards high, and you will find the one your soul longs for.

15 Habits to Help Overcome Anger

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you have a short fuse that can hinder your efforts to overcome anger? It’s a primary human emotion that nobody can avoid forever.

However, controlling and overcoming anger is a mark of spiritual growth and maturity.

Fifteen Habits That Help You Control Your Temper

Anger is one of the easiest emotions to show because it can mask fear and inadequacy. But, if you don’t deal with it and remain an explosive hothead, it will affect the quality of your life. So here are fifteen easy-to-implement methods to help you overcome anger, even if you feel justified.

1. Counting

Counting to ten to help your anger may be the oldest trick in the book, but it can help. So, the next time your blood starts to boil, and you’re ready to roar, close your mouth and slowly count from one to ten in your mind.

You’d be surprised at the difference ten seconds can make in your mood. That brief pause may also minimize your chances of spouting off something you’ll regret later. While you’re counting, breathe and focus on calmness.

The counting method is often helpful in a sudden situation when you don’t know all the facts. If counting to ten doesn’t help, try counting to twenty or thirty. The whole concept is to give yourself time to think before reacting, even if you’re right.

2. Tune It Out with Music

Remember the old saying that music calms the savage beast? It’s also an ideal way to overcome anger. An article published by BJPsych Journal International shares the long-accepted link between music and human emotion. Not only can music lift your spirits, but it’s also been shown to help those with mood disorders.

Listening to some of your favorite tunes may give you a sense of calm when you’re angry. It may be instrumental if you’re ruminating about past hurts that have built up resentment in your mind. It’s hard to be mad when you’re listening to an upbeat song that makes you want to dance and sing along.

3. Do Some Stretches

Think of how your body reacts when your temper flares. You feel all your muscles tense; your insides quiver, and your mind races. In fact, sudden anger triggers your survival mode, and you’re usually ready to fight.

That steaming flush of stress hormones that are pouring into your bloodstream speeds up your pulse and breathing. Adrenaline and cortisone are meant to be temporary boosts for survival. However, chronic stress that comes with uncontrolled anger issues can wreak havoc on your body, mind, and spirit.

Another good way to overcome anger and the stress response is to do stretches or yoga. As you move and stretch your body slowly and smoothly, it relaxes your muscles. According to an article published by the NCCIH Clinical Digest, practicing yoga may boost your moods and lower your stress levels.

4. Take a Hike

Here’s another classic recommendation to overcome anger and to avoid hostile confrontation. When you feel like you’re ready to scream and rake someone over the coals, you may find peace by taking a long walk. If somebody is aggressive or makes you angry enough for violence, it’s time to walk away.

Something is soothing about taking a hike and breathing fresh air. While you’re taking in all the beauties of nature, you often feel a welcome serenity. Walking is an ideal exercise, and it gives you a chance to get a better perspective of what’s making you mad.

5. Recognize Your Triggers

Like most people, you usually know the people and situations that push your temper over the edge. But, unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, these confrontations leave you emotionally drained and boiling mad. Recognizing and avoiding these triggers is essential to overcome anger.

Unfortunately, some of your anger triggers are difficult to avoid altogether. Maybe just the sight of a loud-mouthed relative makes your temperature rise. On the other hand, if they are someone you only see at family reunions or special occasions, you can have as little interaction as possible.

What are some of the situations that are quick to make you see red? For example, are you impatient in drive-thru lines or when your kids leave the family room trashed again? Situational triggers may require that you find ways to cope with them better.

There are some toxic people and situations that have caused you to harbor resentment. Even when you think of them, the anger is fresh again. Learning how to forgive and go on can go a long way in releasing your wrath.

6. Zip Your Lips

How many times have you spouted something out of anger and instantly regretted it? It’s a common human flaw that can blow situations out of proportion and destroy relationships. When you’re angry, you’re often tempted to yell and use your words as weapons.

Of course, you should speak up when somebody is trying to hurt or take advantage of you. However, there are situations where it’s best to close your mouth and don’t open it until you’re thinking more rationally.

Remember that it’s impossible to “take back” things you say in the heat of anger. It’s like trying to put the toothpaste back neatly in the tube. Of course, you can apologize and try to make amends, but your flippant comments won’t be forgotten.

Err on the side of caution and keep your mouth shut. It’s a good time to count to ten and practice mindful breathing. After you decide the right time to speak, weigh each word carefully.

7. Phone a Friend

Is your temper ready to erupt like a violent volcano? Sometimes, talking to a close friend can help you. Choose someone who will keep your confidence. Your goal isn’t to make your friend uncomfortable by choosing sides.

Talking to a trusted friend or loved one will allow you to vent and calm your wrath. If they are an active listener, they will hear what you say without passing judgment. They may also gently offer other perspectives that you hadn’t considered.

8. Channel Your Anger

Sometimes when you’re irritated beyond measure, a mental diversion is in order. Go to a batting cage and knock a few home runs to calm your spirits. Exercise or work on your favorite hobbies so you can release those negative emotions.

9. Change Your Shoes

It’s not easy being empathetic when you’re angry at somebody. However, calm reflection may help you see the other person’s point of view. How would you feel if you were in their shoes? Is your indignation justified?

10. Write a Letter

Maybe a friend or a loved one has flared your temper so much that you feel like verbally ripping them to shreds. However, as you learn to overcome anger, you realize that such actions don’t resolve the situation, and it only makes matters worse.

Instead, hold your peace and vent your frustration in a letter. Now’s your time to let the person know what you think of them. Set the letter aside for a while and read it later. You may see the situation differently without anger clouding your vision.

11. Laugh

Rage drains you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Another way to overcome anger is to use a little fun. Are you feeling angry and ready to snap at someone? Try watching a good comedy or do something that will make you laugh and relax.

12. Time Your Anger

Your life is too short to waste on energy-zapping frustration. Make a deal with yourself that the next time you’re in a fury, you only have an allotted time for it. If you need to set a timer and allow yourself 15-20 minutes to grump and growl, then try to stay calm the rest of the day.

13. Repeat Your Mantra

Trying to bring yourself down from a fit of fury isn’t always easy. However, some people successfully overcome anger by meditating and repeating a mantra, silently or aloud. Pick one that speaks to you, like “Peace and calm” or “I can beat this.”

It’s a way of using the law of attraction to manifest what you desire. As you validate your sense of calm and feelings of positivity, the Universe agrees, and it happens. Use your mantra to boost your affirmations.

14. Write in Your Journal

Journaling takes you into your singular world, and you’re free to speak your mind. Write as if to a trusted friend and reveal your frustrations and angry thoughts. It may help you feel better by offering yourself compassion and permission to vent.

15. Express Your Anger Maturely

Sometimes, any reasonable person would have a right to be mad. The key is how you react and how you voice your feelings. You have a right to tell someone that they have offended you to the point of anger.

Try to speak in a calm voice that isn’t threatening or escalates the problem. When you address the issue without hurling insults and curses, the offender is more apt to listen and apologize. If not, walk away and keep your distance until amends are made.

Final Thoughts on How to Overcome Anger

It’s only human to be angry when people or situations are hurtful. Although you can’t undo the past, you can choose how you react. Dispelling wrath and bitterness can bring you the peace you need for a joyful life.

12 Habits to Help Sharpen Your Parental Instincts

May 16, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

New parents often hear that their parental instincts will kick in when their child is born. Once the child is born, however, parents might not feel much different. So questioning your parental instincts and wondering if yours are good enough is normal.

All good parents wonder if they are doing the right thing and if their parental instincts are on point. Plus, you likely want to learn how to sharpen your instincts to become a better parent to your child.

Twelve Habits to Help Sharpen Your Parental Instincts

Developing good habits can help you sharpen your parental instinct, and you can adapt the habits to work for your lifestyle. Of course, everyone parents differently, and that is okay, so learning to hone in on your skills and instincts can make all the difference.

1. Regularly Spend Quality Time with Your Children

One of the best ways to sharpen your instincts is to spend more quality time together. If you have more than one child, set up times for only you and one child. Then, rotate through your children so that everyone gets that undivided attention from you.

You don’t even have to do anything out of the ordinary to spend quality time with your child. For example, help them with an art or science project or take them shopping. You can also take them to the park or go for a walk together.

Other ideas are to play with them or build something together. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do during your time together. The point is only to have that one-on-one time with your child so that your instincts can sharpen.

2. Talk About Feelings and Encourage Your Child to Do the Same

While you don’t want to overwhelm your child with your feelings, you must use emotional words. Choose phrases that emphasize feeling in your daily conversations, and your child will begin to do the same. Then, you can recognize when your child is feeling anything out of the ordinary.

When you recognize the way your child feels and can sense subtle changes, your instincts will quickly kick in. First, normalize talking about feelings so that you can help your child through feelings of sadness, frustration, fear, or anger.

3. Surround Yourself with a Good Support System

Spending time with other people that have good instincts can boost yours. Everyone learns from each other and can use support sometimes. So allowing yourself to have that type of support system can boost your confidence and give you good people to bounce your thoughts off.

Surrounding yourself with a positive parental support system also allows you to receive good advice. If you trust the people that you are around, then you can sharpen your parental instincts with their assistance.

4. Gratefully Accept Advice

Sometimes, advice comes unwarranted, and it can be pretty useless. Most of the time, though, even when the suggestions aren’t the best, they were given with good intentions. So rather than let the unsolicited advice eat away at you, accept it with gratitude and file it in your mind.

If you use the advice, that’s great, and it can help with your parental instincts. However, if you decide that the advice won’t work for you, it is still sharpening your instincts. Anytime you learn something new about your parenting style and values, you are becoming better.

You don’t have to agree with anyone or follow all of the parenting advice you receive. Instead, express your gratitude for the thought, and decide later on what you will do with the information. Listening to their advice and accepting it gratefully will help you learn about your parental instincts.

With advice from others, you can navigate the world of parenting in a way that you are comfortable with. You will learn about the things you value and your goals as a parent. Just remember that you don’t have to implement the advice for it to help you out.

5. Practice Coping Methods

With healthy coping strategies, you can truly hone in on your parental instincts. Rather than overreacting or panicking when something happens, you can assess the situation appropriately. Not only does this help with your instincts, but it helps your child learn to cope, too.

If you can stay calm and roll with whatever happens, your instincts will kick in. As a result, you will find that you are more level-headed and have a better idea of what to do next.

6. Acknowledge that Every Child is Different and that You Know Your Child Best

Recognizing your child’s differences is essential to sharpening your parental instincts. No two children are alike because they all have individual personalities, influences, and temperaments. Knowing these details about your child can sharpen your instincts quickly and effectively.

Not everything that works for others will work for you and your child. Keep this in mind and consider your child as an individual when making decisions or helping them.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Mental Strength Exercises

Working with your children to practice mindfulness and mental strength, you can sharpen your instincts. These things will help you think clearly, allowing you to make logical and helpful choices. Think things through before you act, and assess whether your ideas will make a difference.

Sometimes the simple act of reflection can help you figure out your child’s needs and desires. Take the time to think everything through before reacting. It will help you weigh the pros and cons of any experience.

8. Don’t Worry About Being Judged

The best way to sharpen your parental instincts is to stop worrying about being judged. Don’t do things simply because society expects you to. Instead, do what you are comfortable with as a parent.

For small children, this could mean letting them sleep in your bedroom. Or, it could mean putting them back to bed every time they get up instead. These two opposite parenting methods are okay, so don’t think about being judged as a parent.

Everyone parents differently, and that is great since all kids are different. However, don’t feel like you have to conform to societal standards and do what you are comfortable with in all instances. When you parent in this way, you won’t feel as guilty at the end of the day.

It is also important to note that there are negatives to every positive parenting situation. None of the parenting methods out there are perfect, and they won’t all work for every child. Whatever you choose, there will be someone out there that disagrees.

9. Set Goals as a Family

Setting goals as a family is essential to truly get to know your kids and developing your parental instincts. As you all work together, you will experience mistakes, failure, and success throughout the process. This journey together will help you recognize your child’s strengths, weaknesses, and areas of growth.

The goals can be anything that benefits the entire family. For example, you could choose a fitness goal, an academic goal, or simply beating personal records. As you teach your children to challenge themselves, you will develop your instincts, as well.

10. Work on Problem Solving

As a parent, you will likely want to fix all of your child’s problems for them. You must resist the urge, though, if you want to sharpen your instincts. Watching your child figure things out alone helps them with problem-solving while helping you recognize unique things about your child.

Working on problem-solving can help you see how they process things and what their thought process is like. Knowing these small things about your child can help you identify what your child is thinking or doing without asking them.

11. Trust Yourself

No matter the situation you find yourself in, trust yourself to do what is right. Choose your first response because that is your parental instinct.

Even when you have a ton of options, your first one is usually correct. Then, if you have time to think it through, you should exercise that option. However, many parenting experiences require a quick reaction.

If you follow your gut instinct, you will likely solve the problem. Even if it wasn’t the perfect response, it is better than questioning yourself before reacting.

12. Pay Attention to Rules

Paying attention to the rules will surprisingly help you sharpen your parental instincts. Rules are different everywhere, so understanding and enforcing limits is essential to hone in on your instincts. In addition, knowing what to expect can help you address your child appropriately for every situation.

Final Thoughts on Habits to Help Sharpen Your Parental Instincts

When you feel like you don’t have all the answers, that is okay because no one else does, either. In an instant, your parental instinct will kick in, even if you don’t realize it. That first reaction or thought you have is your instinct, so trust yourself to do the right thing at the moment.

Remember that you know your child better than anyone else does or ever could. You will know what they need or what the right choice is, so follow your instinct and pay attention to your thoughts. Your ability to adapt to your child’s unspoken signs is greater than you realize.

10 Red Flags of Incompatibility With Your Partner

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Some things belong together, such as peanut butter and jelly or little kids and tempting mud puddles. When you are with your partner, you should both feel you were meant to be a couple. But you interrupt that pleasurable connection if you struggle with incompatibility issues.

Attraction and compatibility aren’t the same, and incompatibility is a huge issue.

You may see an attractive person across the room, and your heart beats wildly. Those feelings are physical attraction and infatuation. You may meet that person, and the sparks still there. However, once you get to know them and go on a few dates, it’s possible that you two aren’t compatible.

Even if they seem nice enough and your family and friends approve, you may be too different to continue a relationship.

Ten Signs of Incompatibility in Your Relationship

Some people get involved in a relationship and disregard the vast differences between themselves and their mates. It often ends up with a nasty breakup that hurts them and possibly others. Be cautious and look for these ten red flags that incompatibility is an issue.

1. You Have Nothing in Common

Remember the saying that birds of a feather flock together? What were some of the things that first attracted you to your significant other? Even though physical attraction is first, compatibility is what keeps people together.

On the other hand, they also say that opposites attract. While that is true on some levels, you need something you both like to form a bond. If you can’t find common ground and aren’t interested in sharing new interests, then you may be incompatible together.

2. You Fight Dirty and Often

When you hear a couple say that they never disagree, then they are either dishonest, or one of them isn’t being true to themselves. You may be together, but you and your person are still individuals with different opinions and interpretations. It’s only natural to clash horns occasionally.

The only difference is that compatible couples know each other and try not to let disagreements get out of hand. Each of you knows which buttons not to push and when the argument is getting overheated. You may bicker a bit, but your serious arguments aren’t an everyday occurrence.

However, you should take notice if you and your mate fight more than you cuddle. It’s also a red flag when one or both of you resort to calling names and hurdling profoundly hurtful insults. In this case, you’ve created an incompatible war zone and not space conducive to love.

3. You’re At Odds with Your Different Cultures

It’s beautiful when two adults fall in love and share their different cultures with each other. While blending two cultures and making compromises is difficult, it can be done. If you and your lover have cultural, ethnic, or national differences, it requires love and patience to be a couple.

Unfortunately, some couples can’t make any concessions concerning their different cultures and beliefs. Conflict often surrounds family on both sides and how you will raise your children. If neither of you can budge and you constantly feel at odds, it may be wise to rethink your relationship.

4. You Aren’t on the Same Page for Future Goals

To fulfill your destiny, you must have goals for the future. Of course, they may change countless times as a teen and young adult. Eventually, you will have your goals in mind as you map the roads that will lead you to them.

Your significant other also has long-held dreams. Just because you both have different plans doesn’t mean you can’t be together. When couples fall in love, they share their goals and weave them together as needed.

When your partner talks about the future, does it include you or just them? Are they painted in your future’s portrait? If you can’t have honest conversations and make compromises as needed, maybe you’re not meant to be together.

5. Incompatibility Makes You Feel Insecure in the Relationship

One of the basic human needs is security, both physically and emotionally. Of course, your main concern is to be confident and secure in yourself. You can’t depend on anybody to do it for you.

However, humans do need to feel secure in their relationships. You need to know that your partner has your back and best interests at heart. They will be faithful to you and will be your greatest cheerleader in life.

What if you don’t have that security? Do you have a sneaking suspicion or doubts about your person’s honesty, love, and fidelity? You are probably incompatible if trust and safety aren’t there in the relationship.

6. Your Conversations are Superficial

According to an article published by PsychAlive, couples can’t achieve intimacy unless they can effectively communicate with each other. Do you and your person have meaningful conversations or revolve around the weather? Communicating and sharing your feelings is the only way to keep a relationship alive.

Are you both active listeners? This goes beyond just hearing; you become involved in what each other is saying. Good listeners consider what the other is saying without judgment or interruption. Your relationship won’t be successful unless you both can share how you feel with mutual validation.

7. Incompatibility Occurs When You Have Different Ideas About Finances

You may have heard that money is the number one argument in most relationships. A study published by the National Library of Medicine found that although financial problems weren’t the top argument, it was often the motivation to other conflicts. The study also notes that financial arguments were often reoccurring and were less likely to be resolved.

Most of the decisions you make as a couple will depend on money. Your financial stability is paramount if you decide to make a home together or have children. To have compatible goals for the future, you must be on the same page when finances are concerned.

If you and your mate have joint accounts, you’re more apt to encounter financial differences. Having different concepts about making, saving, and spending money can create an irreparable break in your relationship. If they are frivolous and you are thrifty, it will be nearly impossible to stay together peacefully.

8. Your Values Don’t Match

When you are looking for love, you want someone who shares your values. This goes beyond religion or preferences. A person’s values show their character and how they treat others.

A person who doesn’t share your values isn’t necessarily a bad character. For instance, maybe your value system includes close-knits with extended family. Your partner may value privacy with as little family interaction as possible.

If you are devoted to your faith, you may have values that are part of it. It may be in direct conflict with your partner’s faith or absence thereof. Such conflict can get messy when it includes holidays, family, and future children.

There are a few minor differences that may be insignificant. However, you must agree on core values like love, honesty, faithfulness, and responsibility. When there’s incompatibility, it’s hard to make it work as a couple.

9. Your Senses of Humor Aren’t Congruent

Isn’t it refreshing to fall in love with somebody who has a great sense of humor? It gets even better when you have one too, and you can joke and laugh together. If you are the life of the party and your person is a grump, that’s an issue.

Your relationship can also be problematic if you are more severe, and your mate is a constant clown. Being too silly can be just as bad or even worse as being too strait-laced. For the relationship to work, you both must find a balance between the two.

While most people enjoy a good joke and belly laugh, it should never be at another’s expense. Light mutual teasing is fine if it doesn’t cross the lines of respect. If your partner intends to use hate, racism, and other inappropriate conversation as humor, you get the last laugh and break ties.

10. You Feel Negative Vibes

Many people describe falling in love as having butterflies fluttering about in their stomachs. Seeing their person’s face or feeling their touch brings instant joy. Even with each other’s faults, you and your mate still think that eternal spark.

What if your butterflies are more like moths, and the spark feels more like a burn? You must listen to your inner voice. The object of your affection may seem perfect in every way, but something in your soul whispers they aren’t the one.

It’s better to find out that there’s an incompatibility issue in the beginning. If you go into a relationship hoping that they will change, you are setting yourself up for painful failure. Listen to your heart and look the other way.

Final Thoughts on Incompatibility in a Couple

The whole idea of being in a relationship is that you belong together. It’s not to say that you won’t have your share of conflicts and heartaches, but incompatibility makes things impossible. However, the minor issues you can handle, especially if you’re both on the same page.

10 Reasons Why Materialism Might Harm Mental Health

May 15, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

There’s no doubt that our society is driven by materialism. Yet, your senses are mesmerized by media and social influencers who strive for more. Instead of just “keeping up with the Joneses,” they urge you to surpass them.

The message isn’t even as subliminal as in the past. If you want to be perceived as the wealthiest, most intelligent, and most successful person in your social circle, you need more. So, when you strain your finances to buy a sports car, a massive home, and all the bling of current fashion, do they make you any happier?

Can Materialism Affect Your Mental Health?

Humans have basic needs that must be met, both tangible and psychological. Your tangible needs include food, water, shelter, and clothing. Companionship, acceptance, affection, and validation are among your essential psychological needs.

Any other things you have are merely fringe benefits and aren’t necessarily essential for life. A study published by Psychological Science ponders the relationship between worldly goods and happiness. It discusses the work of scholar Rabbi Hymen Schechtal, who believed that happiness depends not on having what you want but on wanting what you have.

The studies concluded that for people to be happy, they need a delicate balance between the two. So, what is the link between the things you have and your mental well-being? No doubt, buying the goods you want makes you happy, or at least for a while. Here are ten reasons for you to consider how materialism may harm your mental health.

1. Materialism Often Causes Conditional Happiness

We’ve all been guilty of daydreaming, sighing, and saying, “If only I could have this or that, then my happiness will be complete.” It’s the iconic delusion that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. When you get the item, job, car, or house of your dreams, it won’t be long until you view more grassy fields.

If you haven’t learned to be grateful and content, this vortex of wanting more can be psychologically damaging. You may experience depression and anxiety because you think you “need” something. It comes down to discerning the difference between a need and a want.

2. Acceptance is a Basic Human Need

An article published by Simply Psychology references Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. In the middle of Maslow’s pyramid diagram are psychological conditions, including fulfilling relationships and acceptance. Although you can still exist without them, you would be broken mentally and emotionally.

It’s not selfish for you to need acceptance from your loved ones, friends, and peers. But do you think that your family and friends only base their approval on what you have? Today’s media and advertising are masterminds at the powers of suggestion and blurring the lines between worldly goods and self-worth.

Your whole perception of acceptance may be skewed. If you have people in your circle who only want you for what you have, you don’t need them. When you equate acceptance with possessions, you’ll never feel accepted.

3. Some People Become Hoarders

Unless you’re a confirmed minimalist, you probably have a little clutter hanging around your house. It’s not uncommon for something to catch your eye, and you buy it, whether you need it or not. Another excuse for overbuying is to hoard up a stack of items for “later” or “because they were on sale.”

Our early ancestors learned to gather and preserve as much as they could to survive. It’s a genetic disposition that continues in modern humans. Unfortunately, the hoarding gene goes in overdrive for some people, and they are drowning in stuff.

While it is wise to save preserved food and other necessities just in case, it can overtake your life. If your home is bursting at the seams with piles of things you’ll never use, it can cause mental issues. On the one hand, you are depressed because you don’t have space to breathe yet getting rid of stuff brings anxiety.

4. Allowing Society to Dictate Your Life

You would have to find a place back in the deepest wilderness to escape the hypnotic draw of society’s unrealistic expectations. Media giants capitalize on human nature as they paint a distorted picture of what you need to have the best life.

Buy this clothing brand, and you will be an instant sex symbol. Go into Debt and buy this new gadget or that new trend if you want to look rich and famous. It’s a perpetual race that you’ll never win because there will always be another gadget.

5. Consequences of Materialism

What do you consider as your most significant assets? According to the market, you can assign a monetary value to your home, vehicles, and other possessions. However, what price can you put on good health, loving family and friends, and the beauty of the natural world?

If you put all the emphasis on materialism, it will cost you in more ways than one. A report published by Debt, states that the total debt of American households as of the spring of 2021, was a staggering 14.1 trillion dollars. That’s an average of $90,460 per American, including their mortgage, credit cards, and other loans. If you did an honest review of your monthly expenses, how much is from unnecessary spending?

Frivolous spending is a double-edged sword that can destroy financial stability, relationships, and mental well-being. If you are struggling under massive debt that you accrued in the hopes of “measuring up,” you may lose it all in bankruptcy. You are more apt to developmental issues because of the strain on your income and relationships with your mate and family.

6. It May Cause You to Create a False Reality

It’s a perennial plot in countless books, movies, and tv shows. One of the main characters wants to impress somebody, so they take on another identity. They may also deceive others by making them think they are successful millionaires to hide their average life.

The urge to comply with Hollywood’s illusions may tempt you to be something you’re not. It feels satisfying when people judge you favorably by your possessions. As a result, you may be tempted to stretch the truth a bit to make your job look more lucrative and your life more luxurious.

7. You May Become More Judgmental

People who are overly critical of others usually are hiding low self-esteem. If you measure your self-worth by your possessions, you may soon use the same unfair ruler for other people. You may find yourself instantly approving of a stranger because they live in the best neighborhoods, drive an expensive car, and wear the finest designer clothes.

Sadly, you may turn your nose up at people who don’t fit into the false mold created by society. Perhaps you could miss out on a good friendship or a new love interest just because you judged them by what they have or don’t have.

Your mental health is at risk when you are bound to judge and criticize others. It can create negative thought patterns that can spoil personal and professional relationships. Negativity can slowly encapsulate you in loneliness, depression, and bitterness.

8. Price vs Cost vs Value

Does this sound like a familiar scenario? You are wandering through your favorite department store and see a gorgeous pair of shoes beckoning your attention. Unfortunately, you don’t need any more shoes, they only match one outfit, and they are a bit tight.

However, you buy them anyway because they are a designer pair, and they’re on sale. This is only a simple example of a more complex spending problem. The items can be clothes, shoes, electronics, motorcycles, collectibles, or anything.

Unfortunately, when you are caught up in possessions, you soon lose your understanding of price, cost, and value. Those shoes you bought may have a price tag of $100, but they’ll cost you more. It’s taken away money that you could have used for a necessity and will take up space you don’t have.

Additionally, wearing ill-fitting shoes can cause foot issues that require medical attention. After you calculate the price and associated costs, have these added value to you? Since they only match one outfit, they will probably stay in the back of your closet with the other castaways.

How has this splurge purchase brought any real or perceived value to your life?

9. Nothing is Special Anymore

If somebody asked you why you bought a particular item, you might reply that it’s unique to you. You could go around the house and say that everything has intrinsic value in your eyes. Ironically, if everything is amazing, then nothing is special.

This mindset may bring about hoarding tendencies or general dissatisfaction with everything. You may compulsively shop to fill that hole in your soul that feels lonely and “not good enough.” Things may hold your attention for the moment, but you may soon pitch them aside and go into debt for the newest shopping fix.

10. You Can Lose Site of Intangible Wealth

When you start measuring your happiness and success by dollar signs and possessions, you lose sight of life’s real treasures. Money can’t buy true love and acceptance from family and friends. You can’t write a check for one more stunning sunrise nor the blessings of good health.

Final Thoughts on Materialism and Mental Health

What if you awoke tomorrow morning and had only those things that you valued the most? Obsessing about getting more can risk your mental health. Instead, learn to be grateful for what you have and treasure your loving relationships and many blessings. Your life will be far richer than you ever imagined.

8 Ways to Refocus Your Brain When You’re Losing Motivation

May 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you start most tasks or days with enthusiasm, but you lose your readiness to complete it somewhere along the line? Losing motivation is a huge problem that causes millions of people to struggle. You rely on your motivation to be on autopilot like these new cars that drive themselves, but you can’t always control the day or your reactions to it.

Yes, if you’re struggling to find the motivation you need, you can rest easy as this is a fixable problem. Like with most things, the change starts in your brain. First, you must fix your mindset to help get your motivation engine in the fast lane.

Many people struggle daily to have the gusto they need to complete everything. Have you ever been on your computer and you have ten tabs open, one is frozen and spinning, and you hear music playing from some random place? It’s maddening for your computer to try to configure all the commands it’s receiving at once, so it stalls.

Your brain is remarkably like a computer system. It’s intricate, and it will crash if you try to cram 100 things at once. The only problem is that your brain and body are connected, and you will feel horrible when your mind is out of whack.

Eight Highly Effective Ways to Refocus Your Brain for Increased Motivation

Have you ever had a car engine stall on you, and the car refuses to move? It’s a frustrating experience because it causes you downtime. If you feel like your proverbial engine is stalled and out of gas on most days, then here are some helpful ways for you to rev your internal engine.

1. Change Your Diet

You may lose motivation because you’re not eating healthy. If you consume carbs, fast food, and junk, then you’re not going to run on all cylinders. See, your body needs the vitamins and minerals found in fruits and vegetables.

Without these foundations for a healthy life, you’re like an engine that’s misfiring. Have you ever had a spark plug going out in a car? It will spit, sputter, and miss as it’s going down the road.

You will get horrible gas mileage, and you’ll be lucky to make it to and from work. However, it’s like the whole car gains its power and comes back to life when you put in that new spark plug. The same will happen to you when you feed your body the proper nutrition.

2. Simplify

Okay, so how many things do you think you can fit into one day without crashing? Remember, you’re not a superhero, and you don’t have magical powers. You might lack motivation because you have so many things on your plate that no ordinary human being could accomplish it all.

Try prioritizing your day by the most challenging tasks first, and then save the more straightforward stuff for the afternoon. Part of losing motivation comes from having a jam-packed and overwhelming day. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be scared to say no.

There is power in taking control of your day, and your brain will be less frazzled. It’s time to simplify to improve your enthusiasm.

3. Take Time for Self-Care

You’ve probably heard a lot about self-care these days. According to the National Library of Medicine, more than 17.3 million people in this country suffer from depression. Shockingly, this equates to over seven percent of the population. Do you know one of the number one causes of depression?

The circumstances around you are a significant contributor and when you don’t take time for yourself. For example, what would happen if you never changed the oil or had a tune-up in your car? Eventually, it’s going to break down. The same will happen to your mind and body.

If you don’t take time to pamper yourself on occasion, then you’re just asking for trouble. When you’re losing motivation frequently, then you might want to review how much downtime you’ve had for self-care. It would be best if you had time to take care of yourself.

4. Set Small, Obtainable Goals

Do you set goals for yourself each day, week, or month? Are your goals so high that only a superhuman could obtain them, or are they realistic? Remember all those star charts and reward programs you did for your kids growing up? Well, they also work great for adults.

The child inside of you likes to see that you’ve accomplished something to made others proud. For instance, you want to please your boss, which makes you have favor in your position. When you reach these goals, you should get a reward.

What a difference it will make in your life if you set goals and watch yourself cross them off one at a time. You certainly won’t have any issue losing motivation when you see how you’re progressing.

5. Focus on Giving Rather Than Receiving

Perhaps you’re losing motivation in life because you’re focused on the wrong things. Life is about so much more than making money and having possessions. When is the last time you sat down and were thankful for all you’ve been blessed with?

When was the last time you bought groceries for someone having a hard time? Have you ever helped serve at a soup kitchen, or what about volunteering at a homeless shelter? Sometimes your perspective gets out of whack, and you need to reevaluate your life.

Step back and look at the big picture; you’re certain to find that your life is much more blessed than many around you. When you wake up and are thankful for your job and the paycheck it brings, it can increase your enthusiasm and improve your attitude.

6. Meditate

Have you ever had a car overheat on you? Do you first pull somewhere safe and shut off the engine? The car needs to cool down because you’re afraid it can catch on fire if the temperatures get too hot.

Well, think of your brain in the same capacity; if you don’t get somewhere and cool off, then you’re going to have a significant issue. Meditation is a brain reset that helps you to declutter and pitch the negativity you’ve picked up. Everyone has daily stressors, and there is no way to avoid them.

However, you can learn how to deal with the stress, process it, and release it from your body. You don’t want to hold on to all that negativity anyway. Meditation is great because you can “cool off” at your desk, in your bedroom, or on a bench in the grocery store if needed.

7. Use Positive Affirmations

How do you wake up each morning? Do you hit the snooze button five times until you don’t have a minute to spare? Do you drag out of bed like you’ve hibernated for the winter and just awoken?

Your morning routine can mean everything when it comes to your day. If you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to start the day, it can help your motivation. Positive affirmations are like putting a little bit of high octane in your gas tank.

Cars always do better when you put a little octane booster in them, and affirmations can be just the boost you need. For example, tell yourself things like:

“I am going to have a great day.”
“I will accomplish all of my goals.”
“I’ll make time for me today.”
“I love my job, and I am thankful for the income it provides.”
“I’m loved by many, and I love in return.”

When you start using the power of positivity, it can change your entire mindset. Using these powerful statements each day rewires your brain to think more positively than negatively.

8. Focus on Accomplishments, Not Disappointments

It’s easy to become so focused on what’s behind you that you ignore what’s before you. Your mistakes are yesterday’s news; if you have breath in your body, you can make today a better day. Stop turning around and looking at all the times you failed; rather, you need to focus on the times you succeeded.

If it helps you, make a list of all your accomplishments. Whenever you feel self-doubt, get out this list and remind yourself of all the great things you’ve done. It’s hard to argue with irrefutable proof, so keep pushing those negative experiences away.

Final Thoughts on Losing Motivation…and How to Replenish It

As you struggle to stay motivated, remember that there will always be those times when everything goes wrong. Having a bad day is inevitable, but you will get through them. However, if you’re losing motivation before you even begin, you need to make changes to your life.

First, start with your mindset. Try using positive affirmations and motivation to help you stay centered and purge negativity. Other changes like eating right, getting enough sleep, and not taking on more than you can handle will also benefit.

Don’t beat yourself up too bad if you lose motivation occasionally; you will get back up the next day and have a fresh outlook.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!