The best thing about being a couple is the love you share. Part of love is showing sincere gratitude and appreciation each day. It shouldn’t be ignored just because you’ve been together for a while.
When it comes to love, there are going to be good times and bad times. Life has a way of interfering in the best relationships, but you must always remember the other person in everything. So many people stay together against all odds because they always take the other person’s thoughts and feelings into consideration.
Ten Things to Say When You Feel Unappreciated by Your Mate
Do you feel like your lover has lost that special appreciative touch? Maybe they don’t realize it. Here are ten suggested things to say to get the conversation going in the right direction.
1. “I Don’t Feel Unappreciated When You Don’t Listen to Me.”
It’s not possible to have a healthy relationship if you both aren’t communicating. Of course, communication means that each person not only talks but listens, too. Do you feel like your mate doesn’t pay attention when you’re speaking or pouring out your heart?
These conversations can be tough, but they are necessary. Let your significant other know that you feel unappreciated when they don’t listen to you. You need them to practice active listening skills and validate what you are saying.
2. “I Like It When You Compliment Me.”
In the beginning, love is a physical attraction. Yes, real beauty comes from within, but it starts with what’s on the outside. When you and your love were first dating, do you remember how they complimented your smile, your eyes, and almost everything about you?
Everyone needs to feel like they are beautiful in their lover’s eyes. When was the last time your mate paid you a sincere compliment? If you can’t remember, then you probably feel unappreciated.
Tell your mate that you need their accolades. Why fix up and try to be attractive when you’re overlooked? It’s hurtful when you feel like you’re just fading into the back of their mind, and they don’t pay you any attention.
3. “I Like to Hear Thank You and You’re Welcome.”
Who says that good manners and chivalry have gone out of style? Politeness and polished manners are most attractive and show people that you care. They should never wain as your significant other gets “used” to you.
Do you feel unappreciated when your sweetheart never shows you gratitude? While people should be mannerly to everyone, they should be incredibly gracious to the one they love. You deserve to get a “thank you” for the kind and considerate things you do.
Your graciousness should never be taken for granted. When your love interest appreciates you, they will remember to use good manners in all things.
Guys, being a gentleman will always be in vogue. It’s never time to be lax with things like holding a door for a lady or pulling out her chair. Women, guys still like being with a lover who knows how to be a dignified lady.
The rules of etiquette were meant to show respect and appreciation. Has your lover forgotten their manners? Then it’s time for you to remind them.
4. “When You Don’t Respect My Opinion, it Hurts.”
Perhaps nothing can feel more frustrating and demeaning than when your mate simply assumes your opinion. This is glaringly obvious when they make plans or important decisions without your input.
If your opinion isn’t valued, then you feel unappreciated. Your voice deserves to be heard if you are expected to stay in a relationship. It’s not okay for decisions to be made without your opinion.
Remember that a healthy relationship is a two-way street, and you both have the right to discuss issues. Neither of you is a parent who has the last word or a child with no voice or opinions. You don’t feel appreciated until your views are respected.
5. “We Need to Have Quality Time Together.”
Yes, it’s challenging to juggle a career, family, relationship, and other social obligations. However, a relationship won’t last if you don’t have some quality time together. It’s the main reason you became a couple.
A wise person once remarked that you always have time for what’s most important to you. You can’t feel loved and appreciated if you’re not important enough for your partner’s attention. It’s not so much quantity as it is quality.
Has date night been put on an indefinite hiatus? Even if you both spend some time cuddling on the sofa and watching a movie, you are nurturing your romantic bond. Tell your mate that together time is essential for you both.
6. “Sometimes I Feel That You Put Others Before Me.”
It’s not narcissistic to expect to be on the top of your lover’s list of essential people. It probably was the case when you met and started dating. After a while, have you noticed that your name goes further and further down the list?
Of course, your mate has family and friends that they love and want to spend time with them. However, you shouldn’t be last when it comes to time and consideration. It would help if you didn’t have to “wait in line” all the time.
The conversation can be a bit tense if you are discussing your lover’s family. Many adults still have close bonds with their parents, siblings, and extended family. At the same time, you acknowledge that with your mate, you must discuss how you should be just as loved and important.
7. “I Need for You to be Honest with Me.”
Perhaps nothing can destroy even the most vital relationships more than dishonesty. Even when the truth hurts, you and your partner have a moral obligation to be honest with each other. There are no secrets and no lies in a healthy relationship.
Dishonesty makes you feel unappreciated and taken for a fool. It’s not always about cheating. If your partner has a habit of sweeping everything under the rug, you both need to have a serious conversation with a broom in hand. Uncover the secrets and talk about them honestly.
8. “Please Remember Special Dates.”
Unfortunately, men aren’t always as skilled at remembering important dates as women. Sometimes, women must give their men a gentle reminder in advance. However, if your lover can remember dates for deadlines and meetings at work, they should recall your birthday.
It makes you feel special and appreciated when your mate remembers your anniversary, birthday, and Valentine’s Day. Wanting these dates to be recognized is not a ploy for gifts. It means that select dates in your relationship should be honored.
9. “Own Up to Your Mistakes and Shortcomings.”
We are all human, and therefore we make mistakes and have shortcomings. No matter how loving and brilliant your lover is, they will make blunders. The difference is when they own up to their faults and apologize.
Toxic people can’t stand to be wrong, and they will shift the blame to other people. Even if the transgression is evident to everyone, they refuse to admit fault and point the finger at others. It would be challenging to be appreciated in such a toxic environment.
It takes a strong person to say, “I’m sorry” and try to make amends. Not only do they ask for forgiveness, but they learn from their mistakes. It does no good to apologize and keep repeating the same offense.
10. “I Feel Special When You Dress Nicely for Me.”
Think back to when you were in high school and were getting ready for a date. It may have taken you all day to find the right outfit to wear. If you are a woman, you may have spent hours getting your hair and makeup perfect.
Guys don’t like to admit it, but they do a lot of primping, too. Do you remember wanting to dress to impress your high school love interest if you are a man? You shaved, combed your hair, and wore a spicy cologne.
Adults usually do the same thing in new relationships. It was probably one of the first things you noticed about meeting your lover for the first time. You remember how they dressed, smelled, and carried themselves with style and dignity.
Unfortunately, such attention to grooming may fade as your relationship matures. Of course, nobody looks their best when they work around the house or are taking a day to relax. But you don’t feel appreciated when your mate doesn’t care to fix up for you anymore.
It may be overlooked if your significant other is in jeans and a t-shirt while you both go grocery shopping. It’s a different story when you are going for a night on the town. Would they have dared to dress so carelessly when you were first dating?
Tell your partner how much it still means to you when they dress to impress. It doesn’t have to be a tuxedo or a ball gown, but you should always look nice.
Final Thoughts About When You Feel Unappreciated
If a relationship is going to be healthy, and last, you must have mutual appreciation. Explain to your partner when you feel unappreicated. Without it, your self-esteem erodes, and you feel like you’re being taken for granted. Let your lover know how you feel so they’ll make positive changes for you both.