Do you have a supportive partner, or do you struggle to get even the smallest amount of support when you’ve had a bad day? Being in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It puts a fire down in your soul and a spring in your step, but the only thing worse than being single is being with someone that makes you miserable.
While there are many emotions involved in a loving relationship, there’s also a lot of choices. You must choose to support your significant other every day and be there for them when the chips are down. They always say that there’s plenty of fish in the sea if your current relationship doesn’t work out, but how do you know if the one you’re with is your forever partner?
Relationships take work, and it’s not going to be perfect overnight. What makes one couple last 25 years together while another can’t make it two? If you were to poll the people who have been in relationships for many decades, they would tell you that the easy choice is to walk away. You must stay regardless of what’s going on and work through it.
They would also tell you that it’s about so much more than love. Love is a great feeling, but it doesn’t pay the bills, ensure stability, and support you when everything seems to be going wrong. Remember the classic Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”
As Turner said in her famous song, love is a secondhand emotion. It’s just a small fraction of a relationship. More than anything, you need a supportive partner that stands beside you no matter what.
Signs Your Partner is Supportive
So how do you know if you have one of those relationships that will stand the test of time? Here are five signs that you have a supportive partner and a chance at making it for the long haul.
1. They Pay Attention to Details
Having someone who supports you makes your life better. Does your significant other look at you and notice if you’ve changed your hairstyle, got a new outfit, or are wearing a new fragrance? The devil is in the details.
If they give you enough attention that they can notice the slightest of changes and compliment you on them, then it’s a sign that you’ve picked a winner. The little things are often the very items that matter most. Sure, new cars, large parties, and exotic vacations are nice, but having someone tell you that you’re beautiful and cater to the little details means so much more.
At the end of the day, you want someone that deeply cares for you enough to notice the tiniest of changes. Plus, it would help if you had someone who is so in tune with you that they can tell when something is off or different.
2. They’re Always 100 Percent Honest
Does your partner run to you first when they’ve made mistakes in life, or do they hide them from you? When you have that connection that the movies are made about, your partner will come running to you no matter what’s going on. Honesty is always a vital part of any union and your ability to communicate about things.
3. They’re Your Safe Place
If you’re sick, scared, sad, mad, happy, or want to run away, your partner is your refuse and the safe place you can run. Do you feel better when you’re in his or her arms? Some say that the world seems altogether right when they get to their partner.
When you’re in a committed relationship, you should want to run to them rather than from them. There’s no need to keep secrets when you have found a safe haven in your current relationships.
4. They Encourage Growth
It takes a lot of strength to encourage you to reach for the stars, even if your growth means it might sacrifice time with them. When you genuinely love and support someone, you want them to grow and flourish and be the best they can be.
Life is a better place when you have someone behind you cheering you on and hoping you reach every goal you set.
5. They Make Time for You
There are 168 hours in every week. The average person in America works 38.7 hours a week, according to a study. Additionally, people usually get around 49 hours of sleep.
When you subtract your work and sleep from your availability, it gives you a mere 80 hours to get everything else done. This time must support commutes, picking up and taking children to school and sporting events, grocery shopping, meal preparation, and cleaning the house.
Yet, your supportive partner still finds time for you in the mix. Even if it’s just an hour of undivided attention in the evening, they make time for you. No chaotic work schedule or pressing matter at the office could ever be more important in their eyes than you.
Signs Your Partner is Not the Most Supportive
Now that you’ve examined what it takes to have a supportive partner, what if your relationship didn’t make the mark? Here are some signs that you have a significant other that isn’t the most supportive of you or your endeavors.
1. They Quickly Find Fault with You
They grumble and complain about what you cook for dinner or the lack of a meal because you worked late. It doesn’t matter what you do; you cannot please your partner any longer.
2. Your Communication is Lackluster
You don’t call or text on breaks at work anymore. In fact, you don’t communicate hardly at all. You barely see each other, and when you do, it’s while watching television or in passing.
You don’t even remember how you got to this point, but you know you don’t have good communication. If you would rather tell your parents or best friend about things going on in your life, then it’s time to reevaluate things.
3. There is No Quality Time Together
Sure, your schedules are chaotic, and you barely have enough time to get things done, but there’s no sense of urgency to spend time together. Your partner is content to be two ships that pass in the night.
It’s possible that it’s been years since you’ve been on a real date or spent any quality time together. You ask yourself, how did things go downhill so quickly? You should never have to beg for love and attention from your partner.
4. There Is Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship
Arguments now take a negative turn where there is name-calling and hurtful things said. Your partner criticizes you and now calls you things like fat, ugly, stupid, or dumb. They never seem to pass up the opportunity to put you down.
A supportive partner would never dream of calling you a name, no matter how heated the argument becomes. Be careful; toxic relationships that have verbal abuse can often escalate to become physically violent. If your partner has such contempt for you that the insults and name-calling seem to roll off the tongue, you should know that you deserve better.
5. Physical Contact Has Diminished
Intimacy has all but dwindled between the two of you. You don’t hold hands while sitting on the couch watching a movie; you don’t even get close enough in the bed to embrace. The physical contact has all but vanished, and you have no clue why he/she doesn’t want to be with you.
You may suspect there’s another person in their life, and you may wonder how something so right has now turned into something so wrong. You are like two ships that pass in the night, and you get more affection from your dog or cat.
When the physical contact has all but stopped, it’s a sign that your partner is not supportive and has checked out of the relationship.