Do you have a spiritual and emotional bond with your significant other? A relationship built solely on intimacy won’t last. How do you know if your person is becoming emotionally distant to you?
Know the Warning Signs of Emotional Distancing
Some people become so comfortable in the confusion that they don’t realize there’s a problem. Do you know the warning signs that your relationship is in trouble? Here are some signs that your partner is emotionally distancing themselves from you.
One of the beautiful things about being a couple is that you can express your feelings effectively with each other. This may be a little more difficult for men than women, but sometimes guys will open to their partner about their most intimate secrets. You have a closer connection when you share what’s on your mind and heart.
If your significant other starts clamming up, it may be a sign of emotional distance. In the beginning, such discomfort may be linked to intimacy issues or conflict avoidance. It’s a different situation when a usually honest and open lover stops communicating how they feel to you.
2. They No Longer Validate Your Feelings
If your person doesn’t have your back and hears you speak what’s on your mind, then who will? An emotionally unavailable lover may begin to ignore your opinions and stop validating your feelings. Soon, you feel alone, ignored, and frustrated.
3. They Stop Communicating
The whole idea of having a relationship is communication. If you aren’t talking and listening to each other, then something is wrong. They may hear what you say, but it’s futile if they’re not practicing active listening skills.
An emotionally unavailable partner relies on short answers to your questions and never engages in conversation. Most subjects are covered superficially, and you may notice that they are in a hurry to get away from talking. While they used to call and text you, they soon stop taking your calls and ignore your texts and voice messages.
5. They are Defensive
Your mate may be distancing emotionally when they get defensive every time you try to discuss your relationship. They may insist that everything is fine and that you are blowing the situation out of proportion. The relationship may turn toxic if they start shifting all the blame to you.
6. Self-Sabotaging Actions and Attitudes
Some people get into a relationship and feel overwhelmed. It can be insecurities from past failed romances or other mental or emotional issues. To keep you at arm’s length emotionally, your lover may intentionally or unintentionally sabotage the relationship.
It may start with little things like forgetting important dates and appointments. Then, the situation may evolve into picking arguments to get your temper flared. They may be trying to create an out for themselves, so they have no blame or guilt.
Six Ways to Reach an Emotionally Unavailable Partner
If you want to save your relationship, then you must put in some work. Here are a few tips to help you reach someone emotionally unavailable to you.
Remember that it takes two people to form a relationship, so it’s important that you are honest with your reflection. While it may seem like your partner is completely at fault, could there be some that you share? Look at the red flags again and see if any are waving from your side.
2. Stop Being an Enabler
In counseling terms, an enabler sets the stage for their partner to continue destructive behavior. It can be so subtle that you don’t notice it on your own. As you reflect on your thoughts, words, and actions, have you enabled your mate to be emotionally distant?
It’s a common problem if you haven’t set clear boundaries within the relationship. Do you know what each other wants, needs, or deserves? Since neither of you is mind readers, such vague boundaries can lead to divisiveness and unavailability.
The best remedy for this situation is to have a frank conversation about boundaries and how you both may be enablers. What if you have different goals for your lives together that aren’t compatible? Now is the best time to clear the air.
3. Don’t be a Controller
Nobody has the right to tell another person how to think or feel, even if they are in a relationship. Also, everybody may react differently in the same situation. It’s unreasonable to expect to be responsible for your significant other’s emotional being.
Realize that you also can’t control your mate’s happiness or general well-being. When you relinquish the impossible task of managing their emotions, you may see a marked difference in your relationship.
4. How Are You Affected by Your Partner’s Emotional Unavailability?
Some couples stay together out of habit and convenience and ignore issues in their relationship. If they are genuine with themselves, they will notice how dull, loveless, and unfulfilling their lives are. Don’t let this travesty happen to you.
If your significant other has become emotionally distant, how does it make you feel? Does it affect you physically, mentally, and spiritually? Do you find yourself conforming to their behavior to cope?
Over time, it can wreak havoc on your emotions and self-worth. You may start to feel like you don’t deserve an attentive partner. These are things that you must have a heart-to-heart with them about if the relationship is going to survive.
5. Is Your Partner Aware of Their Emotional Unavailability
This problem can start so subtly and may not be noticeable until it festers over months or years. Does your mate even recognize that there’s a problem? Have they always had an issue with being available emotionally, or is this a new pattern?
If you approach the subject, they may see it as an attack and go into defense mode. They may refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem and may resent you or be unaware they were being distant and will want to fix it.
6. Take A Time Out
After discussing your concerns about your relationship, it’s wise to take a step back and give them some space. Be clear in how you feel and what you expect from being a couple. Then, it’s up to them to actively listen and consider a remedy.
Be patient and let your partner think and try to make changes. If you go into the conversation to strongarm what you want, it will probably backfire and ultimately destroy the relationship.
6 Signs That it’s Time to Walk Away from Your Relationship
It’s a sad fact of life that not every couple is compatible, and some relationships weren’t meant to last. You’re not doing yourself any favors by staying in with someone who can’t be with you wholeheartedly. If the relationship turns toxic, you certainly need to make a quick exit.
1. Your Partner Also Becomes Physically Distant
When you have a mate who is emotionally distant, they’ll inevitably be less physical as well. Not only will intimacy suffer, but they will stop sending their time with you. Working overtime at the office may be more frequent, and you may all but quit speaking to each other when you are together.
2. You Begin to Feel Like a Burden
You shouldn’t have to beg someone who loves you to be there for you in all ways. It shouldn’t be a chore to have a romantic dinner date or have meaningful discussions about your dreams and future. If you always feel like your needs are a burden to your person, then it’s time to move on.
3. Your Mate Is Emotionally Cheating
Most people view infidelity as being intimate with another person other than their committed partner. While it’s one definition, it can be a bit more complicated. Maybe your partner has already checked out of the relationship because somebody else is fulfilling them emotionally.
It’s normal and expected to have close friends and family members as confidants. However, your direct support and confidence should be from your lover. If left unchecked, emotional cheating can lead up to sexual infidelity, and you deserve better.
4. Here We Go Again
Nobody is perfect, and every couple has their difficult times. Some relationship problems are chronic and can last for years. When it comes to being emotionally distant, conversations and confrontations can wear you down completely.
It’s a grave mistake to stay in a relationship to change someone. Being emotionally distant may be part of your partner’s personality that isn’t going to change. Instead of pouring your energy and resources into someone who is never there for you, say goodbye and find someone who will.
5. You’ve Done All You Can Do
Perhaps you’ve come to the crossroads of a relationship and are depleted physically, mentally, and spiritually. You’ve talked, been patient, and tried to do everything to bring your partner’s focus back to the relationship. It’s okay to say enough is enough and go your way with your dignity still intact.
6. The Relationship Becomes Toxic
A toxic person may have a narcissistic personality that has no concern for your well-being. Being emotionally distant is just one of the many traits that your mate has that may be toxic. If the atmosphere goes south and you’re continually arguing, or they get violent, go your way, and don’t look back.
You can’t be a couple unless you’re there for each other. Sometimes, honest discussions and possibly couples counseling can heal the relationship. If not, you must look out for your best interests and say goodbye.