When we find someone we truly admire and adore, we sometimes overlook or ignore warning signs of certain behaviors and personality traits that can actually harm us emotionally and even physically. Most everyone in a relationship just wants a happy, healthy, thriving union between themselves and their partner, but when something doesn’t feel right, they sometimes choose to look past these feelings and pretend like everything’s fine.
Of course, no one is perfect, but you should never have to put up with any sort of behavior that makes you feel small, unimportant, or even fearful of your partner. Certain things should make any of us rethink our relationship, and where we want it to go vs. where it’s actually going…
Here are 5 Signs It’s Time to Rethink Your Relationship:
1. Your partner doesn’t listen to you anymore
Your thoughts matter, and they deserve to be heard by your partner especially, the one person who you should always be able to count on to listen to you. However, sometimes these insensitive and self-absorbed behaviors don’t surface until months into a relationship, so don’t feel bad if you didn’t spot this right away.
People who talk over others and don’t want to listen to what they have to say usually have low self-esteem and feel they must control their partner to feel validated. They can’t control themselves, so they must look around them for ways to remain significant.
You should never tolerate someone who doesn’t know how to communicate with you, and a huge part of communication in a relationship actually involves listening. If your partner can’t give you that respect, they don’t deserve you. Period.
2. There is a lack of support for dreams and goals
If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in your goals and dreams, then you probably feel pretty unsupported and alone. And is that how you think you should feel in a relationship? Ask yourself this next time your partner tears you down or mocks you for your career or life goals. A relationship should make you feel fulfilled and supported, not the opposite. Someone who belittles you and makes you feel incapable of achieving your goals is simply jealous and insecure. They don’t want to watch you rise above obstacles and achieve greatness, because they don’t have the courage to do the same for themselves.
You should never tolerate a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in you and doesn’t want to see you advance your life. Choose a relationship with someone who uplifts you and will stand behind your dreams and goals 150%.
3. There is a withdrawal from communication
Realizing that all relationships require honest, uninhibited communication; relationships don’t last very long if there is an ongoing behavior pattern of keeping secrets and being closed off from having real conversations. Relationships can quickly take a turn for the worse if people start distancing themselves, and won’t admit when the other person did or said something to upset them.
People can be rational when confronting someone, and have a mature conversation that doesn’t end in name-calling and yelling at one another. A healthy relationship is built on trust and effective communication, so strive to cultivate these in all of your close relationships if you want to avoid damaging it.
4. The relationship has difficulty dealing with problems.
In both relationships and life, problems inevitably happen, and knowing how to deal with them and figure out solutions together can strengthen your relationship – and keep it running smoothly. If you or your partner are having a hard time tackling problems as a team and talking things through to solve the problem, it may mean that there’s a happier and longer-lasting relationship elsewhere.
A couple married for 75 years said that the key to making a relationship work long-term is communication, even if that means arguing in order to solve a problem. Whatever your style of problem-solving may be, if you are your partner can resolve things quickly and easily without too much conflict, chances are you have the ability to make things work in the future. According to Dr. Preston Ni, “Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let [them] go.”
5. Someone is withholding the truth.
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When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy relationships require two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.