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8 Ways to Stop the Silly Things from Stealing Your Happiness

January 30, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Do you feel like happiness eludes you? Are you known as a chronic worrywart among your friends and family, who always makes fun of you for thinking of the worst-case scenario?

Maybe people know you as having a short fuse because you get angry easily. All of us have certain dispositions that drive our overarching behaviors and feelings, but those inherent personality traits don’t have to rule our entire lives.

A lot of people sweat the small stuff because they have simply picked up bad habits, or let the negative energy of the world get inside of them. However, overreacting or feeding off of negativity becomes taxing on our minds and bodies, and can even lead to chronic stress, heart attacks, and other health problems. If you want to stop letting little things affect your happiness, start by following these simple tips.

8 Ways to Stop the Silly Things from Stealing Your Happiness:

1. Don’t make a problem bigger than it really is.

So, the barista at your favorite coffee shop made a hazelnut latte instead of white chocolate mocha. Does that mean your whole day is ruined? Of course not. People make mistakes sometimes; they wouldn’t be human if they didn’t. Instead of overreacting, just point it out to him or her and say you understand – you could even make a joke about it to lighten the mood.

Remember, this whole human experience naturally comes with imperfections and disorder, because life is simply an experiment. We all came here to learn and grow, and that involves failing, making mistakes, and adjusting to whatever happens.

2. Take your mind away from the problem.

Any time something happens that could adversely affect your mood, immediately do something else to take your mind off of it. This might seem irresponsible, but it actually shows great accountability for your own well-being. It means you will come back to the issue later when it seems stale and less serious.

Put on some happy music and dance around your house, even for just a few minutes. Then, come back to the problem and see if you feel the same way about it that you did before. Chances are, everything will seem way less serious, and you will probably find a solution much faster since you have given yourself a chance to cool off and regroup.

3. Remember that life is fleeting.

Do you really want to spend the majority of your time worrying about trivial matters that steal your joy? Probably not. So, zoom out and look at the bigger picture. We only have a limited amount of time here in these bodies, having this human experience. Why waste it fixating on problems that we create in our heads? Most problems don’t even exist unless we draw our attention to them.

Remember that bills, money, jobs, possessions, and disagreements are all temporary. Focus on what really matters, and forget about all the distractions that detract from your happiness.

4. Adjust your attitude.

“The problem isn’t the problem, it’s your attitude about the problem.” – Ann Brashares

We assign labels to experiences based on our perceptions of them. For example, if we identify something as “bad,” it becomes a problem, which means we have subconsciously deemed that experience as undesirable. So, if we don’t desire it, why give it any more attention than it deserves?

Move on from the issue, and look at it as a challenge overcome rather than a lingering annoyance in your life. If you become irritated easily, you need to look within and see what energetic blockages you need to chip away at in order to let more happiness into your life.

5. Eliminate major stressors in your life.

If you have a lot of minor problems in your life, you probably have bigger issues that contribute to these smaller complications. Think of it like a tree: the trunk connects to lots of smaller branches that stem from the biggest part of the tree. The roots give life to the tree itself, giving it support to grow. In just the same way, your thoughts represent seeds, and the quality of seeds you plant determines how the tree (actions) will manifest in your life. If you have a lot of happiness in your life, the trunk of the tree symbolizes the greatest source of your fulfillment, and this joy results in other, smaller opportunities for happiness to arise.

If you have a cloud of darkness over your head, however, you need to figure out the predominant stressor, or problem, in your life, and come up with ways to solve it. This way, you can eliminate the smaller issues as well, and allow thriving trees (situations) into your life instead.

6. Simplify your life.

Maybe you have a lot of obligations, too much stuff cluttering your space, or complicated love life. Whatever the case might be, try to live as simply as you can. Whittle down your commitments and daily to-do list until it becomes more manageable. Get rid of extra possessions that you don’t use any more, and keep relationships in your life that serve your best interest. Leading a simple life eradicates the breeding grounds for silly problems.

7. Talk about the problems with someone.

Maybe these small issues have been ongoing for quite some time, and you need someone else’s point of view to put things into perspective. Even if you feel like these problems don’t warrant getting another person involved, sometimes we just need to vent so we can clear our heads and move on from the situation. Talking about what bothers you with others can give you support and help you regain clarity in times of distress.

8. Help someone with bigger problems than you.

Offering our hearts and hands to those less fortunate can easily snap us back into reality once we see the incredible challenges others face just to make it through the day. Volunteer your time to help those who need food, shelter, or water, and that will quickly dissolve any problems you thought you had. As a society, we complain about inconsequential problems right and left, but some people struggle just to survive each day. Try to alleviate problems for other people, and yours won’t seem so serious anymore.

Join the discussion: How do you avoid letting the trivial stressors of life take your happiness? Share in the conversation below!

How to Find Peace of Mind During a Meltdown

January 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

No one really enjoys the feared “meltdown” situations – they drain you of vital energy, make you feel out of control, and strip you of any feelings of contentment. Most people know how to recover from a meltdown, or even avoid them…but finding peace of mind during a meltdown? Well, that’s almost unheard of. That’s why we’re going to talk about it here today because you can actually find peace even in times of extreme anguish. Here are a few things to keep in mind during one of those “nuclear situations”:

3 Ways to Regain Peace of Mind During a Meltdown

1 – Give Into Your Feelings

Wait, isn’t that counterproductive? I know it seems like the exact opposite of what you should do, but fighting your feelings will only make the situation spiral even further out of control. Sometimes, you just need to let out all the emotions you have bottled up inside of you, and accept the moment as it is.

Society pushes us to always keep our composure no matter what, never fall down, and, heaven forbid, never show any human emotions because it makes us weak. However, going through a very difficult time emotionally will make you stronger in the end. Showing emotions doesn’t make you any less of a person; it actually makes you a person. Part of this human experience means accepting that sometimes, life may seem incredibly overwhelming and scary. Instead of beating yourself up about how you feel and trying to stuff your emotions back down where they came from, just let them out and accept them.

You could even go a step further and celebrate them. Hold on…why would a breakdown be a cause for celebration? Because it means you have felt the highest joy at one point in your life to even be able to acknowledge feelings of despair and pain. Almost every self-help book you read, whether by Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, or Deepak Chopra, will tell you that the key to overcoming your feelings is just to simply accept them. The more you fight them, the farther down the hole you will fall. Resistance causes suffering, plain and simple. Once you accept how you feel in the present moment and allow the emotions to move through you, you will find the most overwhelming sense of serenity.

2 – Talk About Your Feelings

We live in a highly automated society that seems to focus on productivity and perfection, but our feelings often get pushed to the wayside. People expect you to deal with your emotions on your own, and quickly get back to your “human duties.” Feelings seem to be losing popularity in favor of facts, performance, and results. However, as long as we’re human, we will have a heart, a brain, and therefore…feelings.

You can’t hide them or pretend they don’t exist, so you may as well talk about them with someone you trust and who cares about you. No one can handle everything on their own, and you shouldn’t be expected to. If you feel that the walls are closing in on you and you can’t find the way out, reach out to a close friend or loved one who can sit and listen to what you’ve been going through.

When you release all those pent up emotions, you will immediately feel liberated, lighter, and much better than before. Don’t ever feel ashamed by asking for help – most people love when others come to them for advice or support because it makes them feel needed and important. Everybody needs somebody sometimes, and a breakdown definitely counts as one of those times to lean on those who care about you.

3 – Travel and Put on Relaxing Music

After you have calmed down a bit, get in your car, on your bike, or head out on foot and just travel for a little while. You can put on your favorite music, enjoy a change of scenery, and have some time to yourself. If you have been under a lot of stress lately, getting out of the house can help for a few reasons:

For one, traveling means you have to concentrate on the journey and all of your surroundings, which means it will help get your mind off of whatever you’ve been dealing with. Also, maybe you just want to be alone for a while; maybe dealing with other people just exacerbates the situation. Usually, during a mental breakdown, people need to be left alone for a while to process their feelings and pray, meditate, or just try to relax.

Going for a trip to the countryside or maybe to your favorite local park will allow you to recuperate and hopefully resolve any underlying problems. Being surrounded by nature always seems to put things into perspective and mend the soul – coupled with music that sort of zones you out from all the problems in the world, this can act as a powerful natural therapy.

4 – (Bonus) Connect with your creator

Last but not least, one of the absolute most powerful ways to find mindfulness during a meltdown is to connect with the tranquil spirit that resides within you. Take three deep breaths, close your eyes, and simply ask your spirit for its tranquility to assist you through these trying times. You’ll be surprised at the rapid response and the soothing energy that flows throughout your mind and body. Never forget that divine assistance always stands at the ready – if you merely ask.

Final Thoughts on Regaining Peace of Mind Post-Meltdown

Anytime you have a mental/emotional/spiritual breakdown, it can feel like the whole world is crashing down around you. Let the waves of feelings wash over you, and remember not to resist them. Ride out the storm and wait for the sun to come out again because darkness doesn’t last forever.

In time, you will regain your peace of mind.

9 Reasons to Nap More Often

January 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Winston Churchill. Margaret Thatcher. Bill Clinton. What do all of published a study these individuals have in common? Yes, they were all heads of state and leaders of their respective countries. They each also indulge in a mid-day snooze. Thatcher told her aides not to bother her between 2:30 and 3:30 pm each day so she could nap, while Clinton did the same at 3 pm.

Napping isn’t just for political dignitaries, however. The benefits of taking a nap are almost practically indisputable. Those who nap report better performance, improved mood, enriched creativity, and a myriad of health benefits. For these reasons, the previous stigma about naps being a form of laziness has long since faded away. (To the best of our knowledge, Presidents and Prime Ministers are not exactly known for laziness).

“You must sleep some time between lunch and dinner, and no halfway measures.” – Winston Churchill

Here are 9 reasons that suggest why you should nap more often:

1. Taking a nap reduces fatigue

According to WebMD, Americans (and many others) are chronically sleep-deprived. Dr. William Anthony, the author of the book The Art of Napping at Work and clinical psychologist/director at Boston University’s Center for Psychological Rehabilitation, states that naps are the result of the numerous demands placed on people.

Anthony cites long work hours, early-morning commutes, and many responsibilities at home as being the main reasons why many people require daytime naps. He goes onto further state that napping is extremely effective for counteracting fatigue.

2. Taking a nap improves mood

A study done at the Department of Behavioral Sciences at Hiroshima University in Japan was undertaken to determine the effects that a short, 20-minute nap has on overall mood.

The study involved seven young adults with normal sleeping habits who did not nap on a regular basis. The youngsters were placed under conditions which involved measured periods of napping and non-napping. An Electroencephalography (EEG) device was used to measure brainwave activity and self-ratings of mood (among other measurements) were taken by the seven adults.

The study found that the short nap resulted in a better overall mood, increased self-confidence, and increased alertness.

3. Taking a nap improves memory

It’s already proven that sleep is vital to storing information learned throughout the day. In addition to regular sleep cycles, researchers wanted to find out how napping can improve overall memory.

Dr. Matthew Walker, professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of California, Berkeley and his team recruited 44 volunteers – 27 women and 17 men – to conduct a napping experiment. The research team then instructed the group to memorize and match 100 names and faces and tested for how well they performed.

Half of the participants that took a nap for approximately 90 minutes, while the other half remained awake and carried on as usual. At the end of the nap, both groups were given another set of 100 faces and names. The difference in performance was significant – the napping group performed about 20% better than those who stayed awake on the same test.

4. Napping prevents burnout

“Burnout” – irritation, poor performance, and frustration – is a common occurrence among the overworked (pretty much everyone). This happens because the brain overloads with stimuli (information) when doing anything that requires cognitive effort for a period of time. This burnout effect intensifies as the day unfolds.

A study done in the journal Nature Neuroscience had participants perform a visually-oriented task: stating either the vertical or horizontal (up or across, respectively) positioning of three bars on a computer screen. To make the test more cognitively demanding, the graphic bars were set on a background of horizontal bars in the lower left corner of the screen.

In a series of four test periods, the results worsened for each test period. Indeed, the second outcome proved worse than the firstperiod, the third worse than the second, etc. When the researchers granted the participants a 30-minute nap, the scores stopped lowering. A 1-hour nap improved the performance results back to those similar to the beginning period.

The bottom line: consider taking a nap when experiencing burnout to improve performance.

5. Napping improves performance

Study after study continues to demonstrate the powerful effects that napping can have on cognitive performance. This is due to the fact that naps enhance the processing of information.

A study done at The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) found that pilots who were allowed to take a short nap (40-45 minutes) improved their flight performance by 34% and their alertness by 100%. This improved performance and alertness likely apply to any field of work, whether or not you happen to pilot a space shuttle.

6. Napping heightens creativity

The journal Sleep published a study showing that napping can increase creative thinking. There is one caveat to this study – the nap must be at least 60 to 90 minutes in duration. This is because demanding cognitive processes such as creative thinking require cycling through all five stages of sleep. For this reason, it is best to take this lengthy snooze sometime during the early afternoon or at an hour that will not interfere with your nighttime sleep.

7. Napping improves heart health

In a 2007 study done at Harvard University’s School of Public Health, it was discovered that regular napping can reduce the rate of death from heart disease by upwards of 37%. This statistic is comparable to the cardiovascular benefits of other activities – healthy dieting, lowering cholesterol intake, and exercise.

Here’s what Dr. Dimitrios Trichopoulos, the study’s head researcher said:

“If confirmed by other investigations, these results would imply that a siesta could be added to the several means available for the control of coronary heart mortality…the magnitude of the effect appears to be considerable.”

8. Taking a nap regulates weight

Not getting enough sleep also has negative effects on your waistline. So you won’t shred many calories sleeping. However, you’ll earn other positive benefits.

In a study conducted in 2010 of 35,000 Japanese adults, those who slept five to six hours a day were twice as likely to become overweight than those who slept seven to nine hours. In a similar study at Columbia University, those who got five to seven hours of sleep were 50% more likely to become obese than those who slept seven to nine hours.

Researchers believe that this weight disparity from not getting enough sleep is a direct result of the decrease in the hormone leptin – which makes you feel full – while increasing the hormone ghrelin, which makes you feel hungry.

Provided that napping does not interfere with nighttime sleep, it is a great way to get in the seven to nine hours that is recommended by the National Sleep Foundation (NSF).

9. Taking a nap promotes restoration (all the above)

You might argue that all of the above benefits of napping result from decompression. Your brain continually takes in and analyzes information. This continuous processing of external stimuli has a direct effect on the functioning of your body. The human body counteracts this impact with the mechanism of sleep for the sake of relaxing and restoring your mental and physical capabilities.

Final Thoughts on Taking a Daily Nap

The important takeaway from this article is not to neglect the importance of sleep. Yes, you work hard and don’t have the luxury of much extra time. However, you’ll find that by making time to sleep (napping included) that you can better handle any situation.

5 Ways to Heal From a Broken Heart

January 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

No one likes breakups – they involve pain, depression, anger, and the loss of someone you truly loved. It doesn’t matter whether you or your partner initiated the breakup. Regardless, both of you will have to work through your broken heart and give yourselves time to heal.

Generally, the longer your relationship lasted, the more time you will need to move on from it. Furthermore, you might feel completely torn and shattered on the inside. (Which, if you’re reading this, you just might). Know that you can overcome the pain if you take the following tips into consideration.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

5 Ways to Heal From a Broken Heart:

1. Take the breakup as an opportunity to love yourself.

If you have dealt with a breakup recently, you might feel in a constant state of turmoil, but it’s actually a blessing in disguise. If things didn’t work out with your previous lover, it presents an opening in your life that you can fill with whatever you choose. You can try things that make your soul truly happy, like taking those sculpting classes you always wanted to, or starting that business you always dreamt of owning.

Breakups might seem painful, but they always happen for one main reason: you and that person learned and experienced all you could from one another, and now you each need to go your separate ways to keep evolving in this lifetime. If you look at it as a new beginning and a chance to keep growing toward your highest self, this will help you heal a lot faster.

2. Focus on the beautiful relationships you do have.

Even though you may have lost a romantic partner, you still have friends and family who love and care about you. You can still spend your time with them and enjoy life without always having a romantic type of relationship; in fact, it might actually feel more freeing for a while to not have to be tied down all the time. You can go spend an entire day with friends or family and not have to worry about what your partner is doing, or if he or she feels lonely with you not around for the day.

Remind yourself of who has been by your side through the good times, as well as the bad times, and be grateful for your connection with them. This will help you forget about what you lost by focusing on the relationships that you do have.

3. Don’t talk to them for a while after the end of the relationship.

Seeing, talking to, or being around the person you ended a relationship with will stir up a lot of strong emotions, especially in the first few months after the breakup. Your broken heart is a fresh wound. Give yourself some space and time to heal by not contacting him or her until you feel ready, if ever. Maybe both of you have decided to just move on and cut ties completely, which is sometimes best if the relationship ended on bad terms.

After the initial shock of the ended relationship, you will likely go through a period of grieving and have an intense longing to get back together with them. With your emotions running high, you might forget why you two ended the relationship in the first place. Just make it easy on yourself and your feelings, and make a pact with your highest self to not contact your ex for a while.

4. Be gentle to yourself.

Let’s face it – breakups are one of the hardest things to go through in life. It often leaves us feeling rejected, broken, confused, and abandoned, and we’re left to mend our aching heart alone. Go easy on yourself after the breakup; if you feel like eating a pint of ice cream one night to cope with the pain, allow yourself to do it. If you need to call into work one day because you don’t feel like getting out of bed, call in.

Try not to dwell on your emotions, but also give yourself some slack for a while. You shouldn’t let the breakup dictate your entire life. But you also should realize that you can’t get over a breakup in one night. Let yourself deal with the pain in whatever way feels most comfortable to you.

5. Think of all the qualities you now know you do seek in a relationship.

It’s much easier to get over a relationship when you see all the things you didn’t particularly like about them, then see the lesson of clarity to find what you DO want. It might seem harsh, but it will help you remember why it wouldn’t have worked out long-term with the person anyway. And, you will better remember why you deserve better. Maybe that person didn’t have clear goals for their life, and you wish they did. Maybe they lost their temper easily, and you wished they had been more even-keeled. You can’t change a person. However, you can decide exactly what you want in a partner. Then, only pursue relationships with people who possess those qualities.

Of course, no one will be perfect, but you are probably drawn to certain characteristics more than others. Any time you feel down about the breakup, remind yourself why your ex didn’t quite measure up in terms of what you wanted. This will help you stay focused on attracting someone better for you in the future. After you’ve healed your broken heart.

8 Simple Rules to Make a Relationship Last

January 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The beginning of a relationship is always exciting. Two people are attracted to each other, begin to discover more about one another, and can see the relationship grow. Everything about a new relationship is novel and thrilling.

Once the relationship has matured, however, the difficult work begins. The phase of everything being a new adventure is mostly over and the focus switches to making the relationship work. Of course, there are still new and exciting things that happen, it’s just not as common. It’s easy to become complacent with another person and take them for granted past a certain phase.

Building and maintaining a long-term relationship can require some work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Watching the other person grow, start a family, buy a house, and otherwise share your life with someone else is wonderful.

These 8 simple rules will help your relationship last:

Consider these everyday relationship rules.

1. Create a shared dream for your life

In the midst of paying bills, cleaning the house, working long hours, and taking care of other responsibilities, it is easy to lose sight of the more important and long-term reasons for being together.

According to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist in New York City: “Successful couples quickly develop a mindfulness of ‘us,’ of being coupled…they have a shared vision, saying things like, ‘We want to plan to buy a house, we want to take a vacation to such-and-such a place, we like to do ‘X’, we think we want to start a family at ‘Y’ time.’”

The most beneficial time to do this is at the beginning of a marriage, partnership, etc. Doing so sets a solid foundation upon which to build your life together. Another benefit of early and shared planning is that you are much more likely to make that dream a reality.

2. Maintain a physical connection

In any long-term relationship, physical intimacy (in any form) is far more than just physical. It’s crucial in maintaining the health of your emotional connection, as well. The physical act of love is something that only you two share and revel in. It’s also vital in reigniting the passion and bringing you back together if you drift apart.

As with most elements of a relationship, it is easy to spark this physical connection in the beginning. It’s more difficult with work, finances, kids, home, physical changes, and whatever else makes intimacy more difficult.

Prioritizing intimacy with your partner is a great way to keep the passion flowing. The stresses that come with work, finances, and family will only be a minor roadblock as you continue to re-discover your physical attraction for one another.

3. Keep communication lines open

We know, we know, you’ve probably already heard that communication is important in a relationship. “Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.”

Maybe… but consider pondering this for just a moment: communication is the common denominator in everything involved in a relationship. It can be at the beginning, middle, or end phases of a relationship. It is involved in everything, big or small – buying a car or home, sharing emotions, wanting kids, forgetting to pay the bill, taking the garbage out…everything involves being able to communicate effectively.

Communication is also a vital element in understanding each other. You may think that you already know your partner, but do you know about their day? Do you know if they’re overwhelmed, feeling sick, unappreciated, or a hundred other things they may be thinking or feeling? Open communication is the only way to maintain equilibrium while further progressing in a relationship.

Good communication is all about being comfortable enough to tell your partner anything – good or bad. Understandably, we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings by being abrupt and straightforward. However, that is part of open communication: being honest whether you do or don’t feel like it.

4. Emphasize the positive

We’re somewhat backtracking to communication (everything, remember?), but it’s essential to demonstrate your appreciation of the other person. Emphasizing the positive is relatively easy when the attraction sparks fly when compared to a 10, 20, or 30-year marriage. It’s also much easier to do when things are going well. It’s still very important to tell the other person the things that you love about them.

The fact that relationships do get stressful and busy is exactly why you should reiterate your appreciation of your partner. Is your woman beautiful to you no matter what? Tell her such. Does your man work overtime to provide for the family? Tell him how much it’s appreciated.

(Men, don’t forget to tell your partner that they’re beautiful… don’t.)

5. Anticipate change

Research has shown that your partner will change in some way every 7-8 years. The change may be drastic or minuscule, but you need to expect to see some sort of difference in the person’s mind or body.

Personal change is a natural process in life, but we often don’t accommodate for these changes in our relationships. For both people, it is important to assess where you’re at and let your partner know what you need. If you don’t communicate this change, trouble often follows.

So just know what you’re thinking and feeling, let your partner know (communication!), and be honest. Understand that change is inevitable, and this applies to two people in love.

6. Learn to compromise

Two different people sometimes mean two different viewpoints. This is most evident when making any kind of decision – big or small. Sometimes, the two people agree and sometimes not. When there is a disagreement, don’t allow it to become a full-fledged argument. Instead, discuss it calmly and rationally.

Be thoughtful and empathetic with the other person’s view on something. Don’t hear their response and immediately become defensive, insisting that you should have the final say. If you are unsure about why your partner thinks the way that they do, just ask questions for clarity.

For smaller decisions, simply take turns allowing each other to decide. If you picked the place to eat dinner, then allow your partner to choose which movie you will see.

7. Apologize when you’re wrong

We all make mistakes in a relationship, but part of making a relationship last is a willingness to admit these mistakes. If you committed a mistake, simply apologize to your partner. Being stubborn and insisting that you were right when you were clearly wrong is much worse than the blunder itself.

Further, it’s not enough to mumble “I’m sorry…” while your partner walks away. Sincerity and eye contact are essential elements of any apology. Forego your pride and state your apology with meaning.

Also, learn to accept each other’s apology. Stubbornness can also be present on the recipient’s side; so if your partner is sincerely apologetic, accept the words with sincerity and move on.

8. Don’t give up

Resiliency is essential to making a relationship last. You may incorporate all of the above elements, but if you aren’t steadfast in your relationship it risks failure. Make the commitment to each other to do what you can to stick it out through the difficult times.

No relationship is perfect. It doesn’t matter how great a relationship appears from the outside, there are always going to be trials. It’s part of sharing a life with a person that is different in some way.

A long-term relationship is beautiful, but it isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be easy. However, it’s supposed to be overwhelmingly worthwhile. Hopefully, this article will make your current and future relationships more beautiful and long-lasting.

Join the discussion: What tips do you have for the community to make a relationship last? Share below or join in on Facebook!

10 Signs It’s Time to Simplify Your Life

January 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Is it time to simplify everything in your life?

It is most people’s intention to live life to the fullest. That which constitutes a fulfilling life is very personal, but often consists of a nice home, well-paying job, good family, spiritual or religious growth, personal development, financial security, helping others, etc. We set out into the world filled with ambition and good intentions.

But what happens when we achieve some modicum of success in life? Well, we naturally desire to aim higher and achieve more. In and of itself, this ambition is noble and deserving of respect. However, the insatiable desire to constantly better ourselves and achieve more can have unintended consequences – excess and complexity. Our needs and wants can become excessive and our life becomes more complex as a result.

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” – Steve Jobs

Excess and complexity in life are problematic because we:

– Have less time.

– Consume too much.

– Enjoy things less.

– Are constantly stressed.

– Feel less physically and mentally healthy.

– Are more obsessive.

– Pursue things that aren’t good for us.

– Don’t live in the present moment.

If any of these apply to you, it’s time to consider simplifying your life.

Don’t judge or criticize yourself either – it only adds to the problem. The vast majority of people have a difficult time finding some semblance of balance in this hectic world. However, you can (and are) doing something about it by reading this article. Kudos to you!

Here are 10 signs that it may be time to simplify your life…

1. You have excess clutter in your home.

Take a look around your home – the closet, bathroom, bedroom, living room, kitchen – how much of this space is being occupied by things that are no longer being used?

Clutter is often the result of having an excess of something – shoes, clothes, food, DVD’s, entertainment – you name it. Whatever “it” is, consider giving the stuff away and clearing up some much-needed space. You’ll feel more organized and less stressed, while feeling good about helping someone in need.

2. You’re spending too much money.

When you go out shopping for groceries, food, entertainment or something else, how often do you attempt to save? Are you looking for deals and clipping coupons, or are you whipping out the credit card without much thought?

Do you have a set monthly budget? If so, how often do you adhere to it? Are you making up for any shortfall by using credit? So many people have a problem with money, resulting in debt, stress, and feeling overwhelmed

Use a simple question when buying something: is this a want or a need? If it’s a need…well, it’s a need. If it’s a want, ask yourself why you’re buying – is this something that’s been planned that doesn’t happen often, or is it impulsive and unnecessary? Simplify your spending habits.

3. You’re buying too much “stuff”.

Before making the decision to purchase something, ask yourself if you already have enough of it. Do you really need that 5^th set of pumps or that HDTV that is 10 inches bigger than the one you bought last year?

All kidding aside, maintain a rational mindset when you buy something. Consider how hard you work for that money you’re about to spend – is that hard work going towards something that you already have plenty of?

4. You’ve gotten away from spirituality.

Not tending to your spiritual needs is a direct consequence of complex living. You’re working too much, rushing around… or maybe making a quick, unscheduled stop at the mall (stop!).

Yes, your time is limited as with most people. You don’t need to become a sage that prays 5 hours a day to meet these needs. Consider spending 10-15 minutes in the morning or before bedtime meditating, reading scripture or something else.

5. You overuse technology.

Please don’t be that adult or teen texting on the highway.

Please don’t be the coworker that is checking email when someone is talking to you.

And, please don’t be the mom or dad that has the laptop at the dinner table.

Finally, please don’t be the owl that gets four hours of sleep because they were on the Xbox…and then misses work.

Yes, we are connected all the time – cell phones, tablets, laptops, tablets that become laptops, “smart watches” –there are even “phablets” (it’s an actual word) being sold by the millions. We truly do have a problem with this nonstop connective culture.

Consider shutting it down for at least a couple hours each night.

6. You have no alone time.

Ah, yes…the relaxation and rejuvenation that results from some alone time. There is nothing like it, is there? Well, unless you have no alone time.

Solitude is important because it relaxes your brain, enhances creativity, boosts memory, improves focus, and (perhaps most importantly) charges your inner battery.

Sneak in some solitude through the work day and at home. If it’s a few minutes, great…if more, even better.

7. You’re constantly granting favors.

We all want to appear nice and not hurt any feelings. As such, we often say “Yes”, “Yeah”, “Sure” or “You got it” to someone’s request without even knowing what the heck was asked in the first place.

It’s generous of you to accommodate someone…when it’s feasible. When it causes an adverse effect on your life, it’s not okay. Learn to say “no”. It might be the easiest method to simplify your life.

8. You’re rushing throughout the day.

There is no need to explain why we rush around. Too many things to do and not enough time…check.

However, when we make the conscious decision to slow our lives down and prioritize, we can actually become more productive. Action is not to be mistaken for productivity. This mindset has (somehow) been accepted as truth; perhaps as a consequence (and influence) of business interests.

Prioritize. Be present. Think about focusing on right now.

9. You’re constantly eating out.

Fast food is quick, easy, cheap (dollar menu!) and convenient. Even though it may taste good, most of it also happens to be terrible for your health. French fries, double cheeseburgers, fried chicken, patty melts, bacon burgers, milkshakes. And it’s all available for a few dollars and a five-minute wait.

Living in a fast-paced, hectic world can make it difficult to simplify your diet. That being said, eating out every day is not the answer. Even if you have to wake up a little earlier to prepare a healthy breakfast or lunch, it will have great benefits.

10. You’re always multitasking.

Multitasking is another myth that’s been promulgated by the corporatization of America and other societies. To clear this misconception, here are some scientific facts of multitasking:

– The brain is physiologically incapable of processing two things at once.

– Multitasking slows down most tasks.

– Multitasking is less efficient and more stressful.

– The practice of multitasking takes more time than single-tasking.

Watch out for the subtle bids for your attention, as well. When you’re working, minimize or eliminate distractions – limit email, instant messaging, and co-worker interaction. Make your environment conducive to single-tasking and focus.

The same goes for when you need to tend to something at home, when reading, or any other activity that requires cognitive effort and concentration. Take the initiative and set the expectation that you’re not to be distracted or disrupted.

Join the discussion, or please join in on Facebook. How have you decided to simplify your life? Share in the discussion below!

4 Ways to Get Through Life’s Most Difficult Times

January 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s pretty easy to be happy and content when things are going well in your life; but what about when circumstances change for the worse? How do you react when things change over into difficult times?

Dwight Moody once said, “Character is what you are in the dark.” These dark moments are a reflection of your inner strength, courage, and resilience. Most people go through at least one very difficult time in their life – grief over the loss of a loved one, poverty, job loss, homelessness, or some other tremendous hardship which tests every ounce of strength they can muster.

Here’s something to remember that is easy to forget: you are much stronger than you think. And you are stronger still for going through difficult times. You’ll go through an inner storm; you’ll suffer; you’ll beg for it all to end, and it eventually will. When it does end, you’ll come out stronger and better than before.

Here are 4 ways to get you through life’s most difficult times:

1. Remember that happiness comes from within

Our society is inundated with messages of consumerism and materialism. The constant barrage of messages from the advertisement and marketing industries has created the illusion that more stuff means more happiness. This is simply untrue.

Sure, a spending spree at the local mall can provide some pleasure…temporary pleasure. Spending is never a long-term solution for easing pain – in fact, it’s just the opposite. In developed countries, most households have debt amounts that exceed their disposable income. This overspending has had tremendous repercussions on individuals and families.

The truth is that happiness will always be found internally. Doing things that truly promote happiness – being grateful, learning, playing, curiosity, meditation, exercise, prayer, family time, etc. – will provide genuine happiness…even in very difficult times.

No matter what is happening externally, you can tap into this inner source of happiness. Yes, the external circumstances of your life have an effect, but it’s not to the degree that you may think. It’s still possible to tap into a multitude of things – both discovered and undiscovered – that will create true happiness. Find those things and focus on them.

2. Acknowledge your emotions

When pain – especially tremendous pain – presents itself, it is natural to want to run away and ignore it. Ask anyone who’s lost a child, parent, or someone near and dear to their heart. Quite understandably, the last thing they want to do is relive the hurt of that loss.

But the truth is that emotions need to be faced and experienced. Yes, you may worry because emotions can be overwhelming. As a result, many fear that they won’t be able to handle them. Just remember what was discussed in the introduction – you are stronger than you think.

Dr. Christina Hibbert, author of This is How We Grow, has experienced some tumultuous times – losing one sister at age 8, and another sister (and her husband) at a later age. As a result, she inherited an extended family; including two children as a result of the second sister’s death.

She’s certainly earned the right to give her advice, so here are her own words:

“(Ignoring your emotions) is like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. The only way to truly be free is to stop and face your emotions…people tend to get stuck because they’re not feeling their emotions…they are not letting themselves really feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger, that is lurking within.”

Hibbert developed her own grief coping method called TEARS – “Talking, Exercising, Artistic express, Recording or writing experiences, and Sobbing” she continues, “These five things can give us something to do when feeling overwhelmed by stress.”

3. Remember to be grateful (even for the little things).

When dark moments happen in life, it’s easy to forget a lot of things, including gratitude. Emotions overtake our rational thought processes when we are overwhelmed with any type of stimuli, including pain.

The beautiful thing about gratitude is that you’ll never run out of it. Being grateful is all about perspective. Thinking about or meditating on the abundance in your life is a wonderful way to bring these things to the surface.

For example, if you are reading this right now, you have a computer (or smartphone) and internet access. Only about 40% of people in the world have access to the internet; with even fewer having access to a device such as a smartphone or computer. Did you have something for breakfast or lunch? About 1 billion people have gone without. Have you earned more than $1.25 today? About 1.2 billion people in the world have received less.

These statistics are not meant to create guilt, but to cause a change in perspective. There are destitute people all over the world that still manage to create happiness under far more difficult circumstances. Find something in your life to be grateful for and focus on it.

(As a side note): If able, please consider giving your time or money to those less fortunate. There are many great organizations focused on reducing and eradicating hunger, poverty, and disease in countries all over the world. These people need strong individuals to take a stand and help.

4. Practice being present

You’ll find that this is a consistent theme through much of the material on this site: the practice of being present. Living in the here and now is so important, and it helps you to deal with problems as they arise – without judgment, hesitance, or objection. Things are just as they should be, for better or for worse.

Regardless of the painful circumstances facing you, it is important to realize that this is where you are, wanted or unwanted. You can attempt to dodge, avoid, suppress or deny, but in the end, it just is what it is.

Being present goes beyond dealing with painful circumstances. Mindfulness and presence enable you to express full joy and gratefulness towards the blessings in life. Further, it allows you to perceive these blessings better when they do surface.

Resist the urge to judge what has happened in the past or what may happen in the future. All you have and all that you are guaranteed is the present moment. Take full advantage of the moment and appreciate the beauty of life that exists all around you.

Of course, being present sometimes involves pain, but it will be okay. Allow yourself to experience the moment, however painful it may be, knowing that it will pass…you will eventually flourish as a person – perhaps as a better version of yourself.

3 Tips to Maintain Your Spirituality On the Go

January 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When you practice spirituality where you live, you have everything already set up to your liking, and become accustomed to a structured and consistent spiritual routine. Inside your home, you probably have a regular spiritual routine you follow that helps you feel balanced and connected to yourself and the Universe. You may have an altar, a specific yoga regimen that makes you feel energized, or special crystal grids you use to activate your energy field.

But what happens when you have to go on a trip that takes you away from your spiritual refuge?

You might have to leave your haven for a few days every once and a while, but spirituality doesn’t have to leave you. We hope you find the following tips useful to help you maintain your spirituality away from your usual place of practice.

3 Tips on How to Take Spirituality On The Go

1 – Take Some Sacred Items With You

You might not be able to recreate an exact replica of your sacred space at home, but you can bring a few of your favorite items with you and set one up in historic hotels room or wherever you’re staying. Maybe you connect to your spirituality best with scripture, crystals, Buddha or Ganesh figures, a token, or poster hanging up on your wall. You could easily bring these with you to your destination to keep up a regular spiritual practice on the road.

Candles or incense can also enhance any spiritual practice and are easy to take with you, but hotel rules can make this a bit difficult. Fortunately, you can still bring along a candle wax warmer with your favorite fragrances and just plug it in at the place you’re staying. You don’t have to light anything, and you still get to enjoy your favorite smells that take you to the ultimate place of serenity. Or, you can just take tea light candles with you to instill tranquil energy within you and your surroundings.

2 – Have a Playlist of Your Favorite Calming Music

You can use technology to your advantage and keep a playlist of music that resonates with your soul, so that you can listen to it anytime you feel out of alignment. Sometimes, leaving familiar territory can make us feel out of sorts and anxious. However, deeply relaxing music can bring us back into that place of pure bliss and unity with the divine. You can put it on in the car, in your hotel room, or even pop in your earbuds when you’re strolling around outside.

If you have a playlist, you can access it anytime you please. You could even play the music during your meditation or prayer practice in your hotel room. In fact, music can take your spirituality practice to new heights and allow your soul to move with the rhythm. So don’t forget to bring your favorite tunes with you.

3 – Bring a Drawing Pad or Journal

Many people connect with their higher selves through some form of art, whether they take up drawing, writing, singing, dancing, or any other form of art. A drawing pad or journal doesn’t take up much space in your bag, and you can rely on them any time you feel disconnected. Even if you don’t have a lot of time on your trip to write or draw, you can just jot down a few notes here and there to check in with your highest self or make a quick sketch of whatever comes to mind.

Also, a journal makes for a great way to tell stories about your trip when you come home. You can write down your dreams, new experiences you had, your thoughts about the day, and whatever else you’d like. Writing makes for a great way to reflect and think about what you learned about a situation, or how it made you a better person. Drawing allows your imagination to come to life, bringing your visions into creation.

Whatever you enjoy doing in your spare time, try to bring a piece of that with you when you leave your home. If knitting brings you the same sense of peace and satisfaction, bring along some of your knitting supplies. Spirituality is all about getting into a “flow,” where your body, mind, and soul move effortlessly to the beat of the Universe’s drums. Whatever takes you to this place in your heart, make it a part of your practice, even when you have to leave your home for a while.

Join the discussion in the comments or on Facebook. What other tips can you think of to stay spiritual while you’re away from home?

5 Steps to Rebuild Trust After You’ve Been Hurt

January 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

If we all closed ourselves off after getting hurt, could we ever truly trust or engage in relationships again?

Broken trust and betrayal have occurred in many of our lives, both in romantic relationships and friendships alike. Even family members can break our trust. However, difficulties arise in any relationship, and we must learn to work through any trust issues and keep moving forward.

Unfortunately, getting hurt comes as part of the package deal in this human experience, but we don’t have to let those experiences weigh us down and keep us from opening up to others. Broken promises and compromised feelings can make us want to push others out and never trust again, but this 5 step guide can help you overcome those feelings and learn how to trust again.

5 Steps to Rebuild Trust After You’ve Been Hurt

1. Realize that no one is perfect.

No matter how badly the person broke your trust, you must realize that no one on Earth can avoid mistakes their entire lives. Everyone slips up from time to time, even if they didn’t mean to. Though our brains can store more information than computers, we are not robots; we have complicated feelings, emotions, and thoughts that shape us as humans.

Whether you decide to forgive the person is up to you, but remember that you also make mistakes from time to time. The relationship might still be worth salvaging if you can see from their point of view and understand that pain is inevitable on this journey in life.

2. Express your feelings.

Your first reaction might be to ignore your partner, friend, or relative until they come to you and say sorry, but you might have to be the bigger person and make the first move. They might not realize they even did anything wrong, so make sure you make it clear to them how you feel. Remember to talk in a calm, rational manner, and try not to sound accusatory. Take the first point into consideration and tell them you understand that no one is perfect. However, make sure you lay everything on the table and tell them exactly how you feel.

Part of learning to trust again means opening up to the very person that hurt you. Even if you go different ways, you can at least find solace in the fact that you were honest about your feelings, and left no stone unturned.

3. Zoom out from the situation.

Try to look at the bigger picture, and decide if your feelings match the severity of the situation. In other words, can you justify your feelings by their actions, or could you be overreacting just a bit? Though trust must be earned in a relationship, you need to discern serious breaches in trust from minor ones.

For example, if the person cheated on you, you and your partner need to have a serious talk about your relationship. However, if your partner forgot about your dinner plans for the evening, you might want to hold back your feelings for a bit and listen to his or her explanation. They might have had to stay late at work, or just honestly forgotten about your plans.

Try to see the situation as it is, and don’t make it something more. Listen to your partner or friend and decide if the situation merits a strong reaction or not.

4. Be open to second chances, but remember your worth.

Essentially, you have to find the middle ground here. If you’ve given someone a chance to earn your trust but they have consistently disrespected and betrayed you, you should probably let them go.

Trust is a two-way street, and the other person has to meet you halfway. Learning to trust again involves paying attention to your feelings, and discerning if the person deserves to be in your life or not. A breach of trust usually means the person needs time to deal with personal issues; when other people hurt you, their own hurt is spilling over their threshold, causing them to hurt others.

Understand their pain, but also know when it’s time to call it quits. You have to respect yourself enough to discontinue any relationship that doesn’t serve you in the best way, but know when to give others a second chance.

5. Leave the past behind you.

Most of us have had a turbulent, painful past because we’ve had to go through certain situations in order to grow as a person. We had to go through hurtful relationships and heart-wrenching breakups to evolve into a strong, compassionate, well-rounded person. Learn from the rough waters of the past, but don’t let them steer your vessel. Take charge and realize that the past should stay in the past and that you have to let people in if you want to continue to grow.

The past doesn’t have to define your future; you can take ownership of your feelings and choose to let the past make you a better person, not a bitter person. Past relationships and situations don’t reflect the future, because you get to create your future. People will always hurt you in one way or another, but some relationships will be worth the pain. Others can help you grow and teach you new things about life; any relationship requires effort, but you’ll know in your heart who needs to stay in your life to help you blossom into your best self.

How do you rebound after you have been hurt? Share your feedback on Facebook.

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