Person 1: “I’m sorry!”
Person 2: “Stop saying sorry.”
Person 1: “Okay…sorry.”
Person 2: *Shakes head and walks away*
Do you apologize when it isn’t necessary? Do you say “I’m sorry” when there’s no reason? Some of us are chronic apologizers without even realizing it.
While there are indeed worse offenses than declaring an unnecessary apology, what makes the behavior potentially damaging is the cause and effect. We often state an unnecessary apology out of caring too much about what others think or putting their feelings above our own. Consequently, others may view incessant apologizing as a sense of weakness or lack of confidence. So, by all means, apologize when it’s necessary – but stop saying sorry when you have no reason to.
Here are 12 things to never apologize for:
1. How you feel
Expressing your feelings is a responsibility in any relationship (plutonic and romantic.) Telling someone how you feel allows them to get to know you better, thereby deepening the connection. If someone else has a problem with you constructively expressing your thoughts and feelings, it’s their problem, not yours.
2. For saying “No.”
Saying “no” to someone is okay – and most people have no problem with it. While saying no may feel uncomfortable, there is no reason to make an apology for doing so. To come off as less abrasive, provide a quick explanation as to why saying no is necessary.
3. For following your own path
Most of society is still obsessed with the “school, work, family, retire” way of life. And while there is certainly nothing wrong with traditional and conservative advice, it is of no one else’s concern how others choose to live.
4. For your appearance
“Sorry I look tired,” “I’m having a bad hair day, sorry.” What’s going on here? Well, someone is issuing an apology assuming that other people don’t like or appreciate their appearance. Let’s consider for a second that this is true. Who cares? Provided you aren’t going Will Ferrell and wearing a thong into a board meeting (hilarious SNL skit), there’s no reason to apologize for how you look!
5. For Asking Questions
Some people hate others asking questions. It’s wasting their precious time, see? Well, that’s too dang bad for them. If you don’t understand something then you don’t understand it – and you need clarity. If someone takes issue with you questioning something, it’s probably because of insecurity about their own knowledge – or lack thereof.
6. For Taking Alone Time
You can’t take care of someone else if you can’t take care of yourself. An important part of self-care is knowing when you need to be alone. Refresh, rejuvenate and then get back out there – but only when YOU are ready.
7. For Other People’s Behavior
Has anyone ever come to you with sharp criticism about someone else as if you were that someone? What the hell are they trying to say? Apparently, they never got the memo that you aren’t responsible for how someone else acts. Anyways, just ignore them; and certainly do not apologize.
8. For Not Responding Right Away
Just putting this out there: people who send a text or leave a voicemail with the misplaced belief that they’re the first priority are super annoying. Why? Because those same people are more likely to berate you for not responding to them right away. Because, you know, they are busy. No apologies are necessary.
9. For Rightfully Being Upset
Some folks try to guilt trip others into believing that their anger is unjustified. But this isn’t always the case – sometimes there is a darn good reason. The same goes for when and why one is anxious, sad, or depressed. A person has the right to feel how they feel, be it “right” or “wrong.” Provided they aren’t hurting anyone, it’s asinine to expect someone to be apologetic about how they feel.
10. For Standing Your Ground
If some people had their way, they’d strip freedom of speech from anyone who disagrees with their opinions. When you stand up to them, they act offended as if you’re the one who overstepped boundaries. Forget these type of people. They’re ignorant, prideful, and toxic. Instead of apologizing, hold firm and let your voice be heard!
11. For Being You
The great author and poet Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Going a bit further, it’s totally fine to be “weird” or “different,” regardless of what others think. Be your own person and don’t even consider the idea of apologizing. After all, individualism and diversity is part of what makes life a beautiful thing.
12. For An Honest Mistake
Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. Everyone makes a blunder here and there. Unless your error happened to harm someone else, there is no need to apologize. People who insist that you apologize or otherwise explain yourself concerning a mistake that didn’t impact them are not worth your time.