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3 Habits Of People With Good Brain Health

March 23, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Cognitive decline is something that many people accept as a part of their potential future. Almost everyone has seen a relative slowly develop a degenerative disorder of the brain, leading to a tragic and difficult-to-manage situation. But what if this declining brain health didn’t have to be the case?

Though some people are predisposed to degenerative conditions, there are methods that can be used to prevent their progression, lower their risk, or simply slow the degeneration down. It sounds pretty simple when it’s put this way: all you need is to keep your brain healthy. But that’s easier said than done!

It can take real effort to make sure that your everyday habits are doing your brain well. Luckily, research into brain health and preventing cognitive decline has been in place for a long time. Plenty of people perform good habits in order to keep themselves sharp, backed by scientific findings.

So how can you be like these people? What do you need to do? Here are 3 habits of people with good brain health – but there’s still so much more beyond the simple three!

3 Brain Health Boosting Habits to Never Ignore

1 – Exercise

If you want a healthy mind, you need a healthy body. It’s said very often, but people often underestimate just how true and accurate it is! Your mind simply cannot be healthy if the body that it is in isn’t.

You don’t need a lot of exercise to reap the benefits that come with it, including good brain health. Spending half an hour a day simply walking around can be all you really need. Even simple tasks like doing household chores, gardening, or playing with pets can help, too. There’s no need for a fancy gym membership! Here are some ideas for simple exercises that people with good brain health practice habitually:

Do Some Yoga

According to neuroscientists working with UCLA, yoga has positive benefits for more than just stress and anxiety. Those who do traditional yoga accompanied by meditation can experience a significant reduction in cognitive problems, including those which can lead to degenerative disorders. Yoga was also revealed to be even better than most typical exercises for memory enhancement.

Have A Routine

When you have an exercise routine, working out can feel like second nature. You get used to the process and it can even become comforting in its way. It’s a way to fill your time in a productive way. What’s not to like?

Dance

According to a study in the Journal of American Geriatrics Society, exercises and activities that involve mindful movement, such as dance, often have much stronger cognitive ability than those who don’t. Dancing for just an hour a week was revealed to aid those with cognitive decline, boosting their positive thinking and daily function.

Change Things Up

If you are experiencing some cognitive decline or have some issues with cognitive health, changing up your routine regularly can help make a difference. According to research published in the Journal of Aging Research, activities such as lifting weights and walking help boost spatial memory. Other types of exercise offer different benefits. As such, you should mix up your routine regularly to get a diverse group of benefits!

Just Get Moving

At the end of the day, all you really need to do is get moving. Vigorous exercise can make you scientifically ten years younger in terms of cognitive health! This is likely because experts believe that exercise produces new neurons in the brain, especially in the hippocampus, which is the memory and learning center of the brain.

2 – They Stay Active Mentally

Mental activity is very crucial to maintaining your brain’s health. Think of it like a muscle. If you never put it to use, it will slowly waste away. As such, you need to continue working out your brain so that it stays strong and “fit”. Here are some great, science-backed ways to do so – and ones that those with good brain health employ!

Do A Crossword Puzzle

Crossword puzzles, and other games related to words and numbers that engage the mind, have been proven to have some pretty impressive effects on brain function. They aid reasoning skills, memory, and attention, and two separate studies in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry found that those who do puzzles have performance levels that indicate processing levels eight years younger than those who don’t do puzzles.

Learn Another Language

Lots of people in the world are bilingual, but if you’re from a primarily English-speaking country, there’s a chance you are only really fluent in English. Well, now you have a reason to learn something else! MRI scans done by researchers in Canada revealed that those who have fluency in more than one language have thicker and denser brain portions focused on memory, language, and cognition. This reduces the speed of degeneration.

Learn To Play A Musical Instrument

According to research published in the Journal of Neuroscience, learning a musical instrument can actually alter brain wave performance! This causes an increase in hearing and listening skills very quickly, which can even prevent hearing loss as you age and keep your mind sharp.

Color, Doodle, or Draw

If you’re bored but can’t do absolutely anything you want, grab a piece of paper and a writing instrument and color, doodle, or draw away. When you do these activities, you’re actually boosting your positive thinking, giving yourself better levels of creativity, improving problem-solving skills, and innovating. Why? Because the blood flows more smoothly in your prefrontal cortex when you draw freely!

Coloring aids in meditation, according to science.

Play Games

If there are children in your life, play games with them! Puzzle games, especially physics-based ones, improve abilities to do different tasks, focus, and adapt and react to changing situations. If you don’t have kids to play games with, try getting a book of brainteasers, or encouraging friends to play puzzle games with you!

Just Learn Anything New!

Learning new things is crucial to keeping your brain active. You can even learn from a modern device, such as an iPad, laptop, or smartphone. Plus, learning new things doesn’t have to be specific. You can take a class for something new. Or perhaps you can learn new recipes. You can figure out how to use a social media site you’ve never been able to figure out. The possibilities are endless!

3 – They Eat and Drink Mindfully

You are what you eat. The things you put into your body often have a significant effect on your brain and mental health. After all, the brain controls every part of your body, and so it needs sufficient nourishment to get that job done. Here are some specific eating and drinking habits that people with good brain health have!

They Get Sufficient Minerals and Vitamins

Multivitamins themselves may not do anything particularly useful, but certain vitamin deficiencies can lead to a decline in cognitive function. Make sure you’re getting the minimum required vitamins and minerals every day.

For example, without sufficient Vitamin B12, the central nervous system can develop cognitive loss. A lack of vitamin D has been linked to an increased risk of cognitive decline. Insufficient iron causes difficulty in oxygen transport, leading to less of the crucial component reaching the brain.

They Don’t Eat Too Much Sugar

Sugar – as well as any other kind of simple carbohydrate – can be a real drain on the brain. Studies have indicated that even healthy people experience a drop in cognitive performance after consuming these types of foods.

They Eat Omega-3 Fatty Acids

We just talked about how bad refined sugars can be for you – but omega-3 fatty acids are the complete opposite of that. They can undo damage to a certain extent thanks to the properties of the fats, which improve brain permeability.

They Eat Antioxidants

Antioxidants prevent free radicals from taking free reign over your body. Oxidation is responsible for aging and damage to the body and its organs, and antioxidants can help slow the process. Do note that plant-derived antioxidants work best for this purpose.

They Eat Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate is packed with flavanol, which is a key ingredient in cocoa. Numerous research papers have linked flavanol to positive results on cognitive health. It can improve memory, processing, and even attention spans!

They May Enjoy A Mediterranean Diet

This diet is traditionally packed with healthy fats, including fish, olive oil, legumes, and nuts, with limited red meat and tons of vegetables and fruits. Studies have indicated that senior citizens who follow this diet enjoy better brain volume and health as they age! Higher brain volume means a lower chance of developing dementia.

Research explains the many benefits of the Mediterranean Diet, including brain health.

They Drink Moderate Amounts of Red Wine

We’re often told to avoid alcohol entirely when it comes to health. But studies indicate that red wine may have positive effects on the brain. One such study found that after consuming resveratrol, an antioxidant in red wine, participants had sharper memories and could memorize more words at a time.

It’s true that red wine doesn’t have that much resveratrol in it, but the trace amounts inside can be of great help! Just don’t overdo it – you shouldn’t be alcoholic. Stick to moderate amounts; a glass a day is more than enough for these benefits!

They Drink Moderate Amounts of Coffee

When you drink coffee, you know it jolts you awake and sharpens your mind. But why does this happen? Coffee helps to block receptors for adenosine and it has antioxidant compounds that can repair cell-based damage. Studies have linked moderate coffee consumption to a lowered risk of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

Here are important habits to improve brain health.

Final Thoughts On Some Habits Of People With Good Brain Health

Keeping your brain healthy isn’t just what you’ll need for your old age. It’s something that you should always be considering, no matter how old you are. There’s no time like the present to start caring about your brain and its health!

A healthy brain is happy, positive, focused, and quick-thinking. It carries out the body’s functions well and can make the difference between a good day and a great one. So take these habits to heart!

It can be difficult to build the habits you need for your brain to stay healthy. But take it from medically sound studies, numerous personal experiences, and the word of experts – by exercising, eating well, and keeping your mind active, you can ensure that your brain stays healthy for a long, long time.

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (A Book Review)

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you don’t know the story of Think and Grow Rich, it’s a fantastic book, written by one of the most excellent journalists of all time. Here’s a quick synopsis about why this book is the #1 best selling self-help book in the world.

Andrew Carnegie was one of the most affluent men in the world and did business with a number of the other top wealthiest people in the world. Andrew didn’t have time to question what made his friends and others super-wealthy and successful, but he had this question burning inside of him.

So he knew that Napoleon Hill was an incredible journalist and invited Napoleon in for a quick meeting. Well, Napoleon Hill was incredibly broke, but he scavenged for just enough money for a one-way trip to see Andrew. During their meeting, Andrew proposed the question to accept the responsibility to research and interview the fifty richest men in the world.

It was Napoleon’s responsibility to get in touch with these people, set up interviews, pay his way, and compile his research into a book. Andrew Carnegie had a stopwatch underneath his desk because Andrew knew that the #1 trait of the super successful is quick decision making. As soon as he proposed the question, he started the stopwatch.

To speed things up, Napoleon agreed almost instantly to begin this research project, and the result of his research became this book. This book is what caused Napoleon Hill to gain his success and great wealth.

Book Review: The Magic

Why this book is worth your time to read

So why is this book still one of the most excellent selling self-help books? To be honest, it’s because it is still incredibly relevant to this day and age! So, sure. Our technology today is different and more advanced. However, that doesn’t mean that the basics of becoming wealthy and successful have changed. It’s oozing with information that is helpful in any situation.

I mean, let’s break it down for a second. This book isn’t just for entrepreneurs who want to get rich. It has a whole section on creating a cover letter that will, for sure, get you an interview.

Employers are still looking at cover letters almost daily. If you were to follow the guidelines laid out in this book, you would stand head and shoulders above the stack of other applicants. Why? Because most people are refusing to read books anymore since everything is online or their attention span isn’t long enough.

The best thing that this book does is that it focuses on thinking before you take action. The author delves into contemporary issues like the rise of online casinos accepting crypto, urging readers to consider the implications of such choices carefully. But the writer also emphasizes that you must take action to allow things to manifest in your life. The Universe is an incredibly magnificent being that wants to provide for you. If you’re going to become successful, then you have to think of successful thoughts, and this book has it all laid out from the most prominent and brightest people of their time.

Book Review: In the Garden of Thoughts

Final Thoughts: Think and Grow Rich Makes a Transformative Impact

Think and Grow Rich is my absolute favorite book, and I will continue to re-read it almost every 3-4 months. It’s the first book that I read every New Year to see what nuggets of information that I can get that I overlooked last time.

If nothing else, it’s worth a read just to see what areas of your life that you could improve on, even if it’s just to re-write and format your cover letter. You never know what it could do until you try it.

Think and Grow Rich provides you a clear direction on how to achieve success. It has improved my life in great leaps and bounds. Allow it to do the same in yours.

5 Ways to Attract Positive People Into Your Life

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

They say misery loves its company, and the same goes for positivity. We attract the vibes we give off, so to have more positive people in our lives, we must become what we want to see. In recent years, it’s become apparent how positive thinking and affirmations can rewire our brains and shift our entire lives. After all, we experience reality based on our thoughts and belief systems. Thus, we can change to a different reality by merely tuning in to a higher frequency.

Whatever you focus on will start to manifest in your life whether you want it to or not. For example, the more you worry about things that can go wrong, the more you’ll start noticing adverse events in your life. Similarly, fixate on negative aspects of people, and you’ll attract people with those traits into your life.

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.” – Roy T. Bennett

So, you might ask yourself what you can do to start attracting more positive people into your life. We have some great tips for you below.

Here’s how to attract more positive people into your life:

Visualize yourself meeting positive friends.

Visualizing is a compelling technique. In fact, according to a Harvard University study, the brain cannot tell the difference between something real and imaginary. In the study, neuroscientists taught a simple 5-fingered combination of piano notes to participants. They used the thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger, little finger. They played this repeatedly for two hours for five consecutive days.

Another group of participants simply imagined playing the notes in the same combination. Just like the first group, they visualized themselves playing for two hours a day, five days in a row.

The researchers used a technique called TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) to examine the brains of participants every day. They found marginal or no difference between the minds of those who played the notes with their fingers and those who only visualized themselves playing. In both cases, the brain areas associated with learning grew, showing that the brain doesn’t know the difference between imagining something and it happening.

This study can apply to meeting new friends as well. If you imagine yourself attracting positive people into your life, your brain won’t know the difference between visualizing it and this taking place. Therefore, when you go out into the world, you’ll automatically attract the people you want because you’ve prepared your brain beforehand.

Work on changing your thoughts.

If you closely monitor your thoughts, you’ll probably notice that, unfortunately, negative thoughts creep in much more than you’d like. We all think without really paying attention to our overall thought patterns, and this leaves us living life on autopilot. In this manner, life happens to us, instead of us taking charge and determining our destinies.

Here are a few things you can do to cultivate more positive thoughts:

Start a gratitude journal. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude helps shift the brain from ruminating about adverse events into thinking more on the positive side. If you believe you already have what you need, you’ll start to attract better things into your life. In general, operating from an abundance mindset attracts positive things and people, while working from a sense of lack attracts more of the same.
Practice positive affirmations. Instead of thinking you’ll never achieve your dreams and will never amount to anything in life, shift it to “I am perfectly capable of living the life of my dreams. I have everything I need within.” Once you start empowering yourself with positive thoughts, you’ll begin to believe it, and this will show up in your daily life.
Meditate. As you begin meditating, you will have the opportunity to sit alone with your thoughts. Most people are afraid to do this, but observing your thoughts will help you see that you have power over them. Silencing the mind allows you to approach situations in a more responsive, rather than reactive, standpoint.

Examine your current friendships and relationships.

To draw better things into our lives, sometimes we must let go of relationships that no longer serve us. This doesn’t make anyone a bad person, but sometimes we just outgrow certain people. We can either distance ourselves while sending the person loving vibes and wishing them well, or just tell them upfront that the friendship isn’t working. Either way, both people can walk away, thinking of what they learned from the relationship instead of harboring bad feelings toward each other.

This way, once you get rid of anyone holding you back in life, you’re more likely to invite people who align better with your thoughts and beliefs. In general, if someone criticizes you or is always complaining, you probably want to distance yourself from that person. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe, so the more you associate yourself with positive people, the more it will influence your mindset.

Give out what you want to receive.

If you want more positive people in your life, give more positivity to others. Even if you don’t always feel extra bubbly or cheerful, a simple smile to a stranger or complimenting someone on their makeup can go a long way. It’s not hard to practice positivity in daily life – it just takes reaching out to others and becoming the change you wish to see. Plus, the more you engage with others, the more you’ll invite positive friendships into your life!

If you’re an introvert, you might feel apprehensive about talking to others at first, but just remember that most people are friendly and would love the chance to get to know you.

Everything you put out into the universe comes back eventually, so if you want more positive friendships in your life, send that vibe out into the world and watch your life change!

Limit your exposure to negative news or media.

You might wonder how this applies to making positive friends. Well, if you think about it, our lives are the sum of what we give our energy to. The more we pay attention to negative news and media, the lower our vibration will become. If you want to have more positive people in your life, you must first tune yourself to that reality by lifting your frequency.

Negative news, movies, and music can rewire your brain and contribute to depression, whereas positive influences promote better moods.

Notice the news outlets and media sources you watch daily, and limit or eliminate anything that doesn’t align with the reality you want to experience. If you want to attract positive people into your life, it’s vital to become a positive person yourself. Part of that means raising your vibration through positive music, podcasts, books, and anything else that helps you shift your reality.

Reead why overexposure to media exposes your kids to negative people.

Bonus tip on how to attract more positive people into your life

Attracting positive people will become more comfortable if you first write down or pay attention to what you love about yourself. If you always talk down on yourself, how can you expect to attract anyone who will notice the best parts of you? Attracting authentic, positive people begins with you. Start to talk to yourself like you would your best friend, and you’ll invite people who also love themselves.

Self-love is the catalyst for significant changes in your life. Of course, it all begins with the thoughts you allow yourself to believe. Believe that you’re beautiful, healthy, smart, thoughtful, caring, and positive. Even if you don’t currently embody these qualities, you will begin to cultivate them. Every action starts first with your thoughts. So simply believing in yourself will attract those who see your beauty as well.

Final thoughts on attracting positive people into your life

Everything in the universe is energy, and it’s responding to the frequency you give off. People often think life just happens to them, instead of doing what they can to shift their vibration, so more positive people and events come into their reality.

Attracting more positive people into your life begins with visualizing yourself meeting people who you want to become friends with. Then, you will want to work on changing your thoughts and examining current friendships. Sometimes we outgrow people, and that’s perfectly okay. People change, and you can’t take everyone with you if you want a fresh start.

Promote positivity in your life by giving people what you want to receive as well. What goes around comes around, so giving love and good vibes will attract more of that into your reality. Finally, limit your exposure to negative media and music, as these will lower your frequency and contribute to depression. Love yourself as you would others. Then, watch your reality change as more positive people come into your life.

Doctors Explain The Symptoms and Causes of Syncope (Fainting)

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever stood up too fast and felt so lightheaded you thought you might pass out? That is what a syncope (pronounced ‘sin-ko-pea’) episode feels like at its onset. Syncope is a more technical way of referring to the act of fainting. But it is much more complicated than you might think.

These fainting spells can happen for many different reasons. At the core of it is the fact that there is a sudden decrease in blood flow going into your brain. When this happens, you lose consciousness, and down you go to the floor.

Emergency room staff see syncope episodes every once in a while. It is estimated that about 3-5% of emergency room visits in the United States every year involve someone fainting. What’s more, about 42% of the population will experience a syncope episode at some point during their life.

So, why does this happen? Why is it happening to you? Is it something you should be concerned about? Let’s explore those questions as we take a further look into what causes fainting spells and what their symptoms can mean.

How Blood Flow Works

First and foremost, you need to understand how blood flow works throughout your body. Your brain and spinal cord both rely on two sources for blood: your vertebral arteries and internal carotid arteries, which branch off to form the middle and anterior cerebral arteries. This blood flow can change when you experience sudden bradycardia (when your heart beats at less than 60 beats per minute), a drop in blood pressure, or changes in blood flow to other parts of your body (like your legs).

Read the fifteen symptoms of anemia to never ignore (including fainting).

Blood Flow and the Autonomic Nervous System

Syncope is a result of the interaction between the circulatory system and your body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS for short). Your ANS is responsible for maintaining your internal homeostasis. That’s just a fancy way of saying that it helps to regulate your blood pressure, body temperature, heart rate, fluids, and electrolytes. When these things are all in balance, you will likely feel alright and not have any fainting episodes.

If your ANS is unable to regulate your body’s systems, you’re going to have some problems. When you go to stand up, gravity will pool about 500 to 800 mL of blood in the distensible veins located below the heart. This pooling causes plasma volume to decrease by about 15% within 20 minutes of standing up. When your blood does not flow appropriately as a response, it pools in the veins. This situation triggers a reduction in your heart’s ability to pump blood, which then alerts your body’s compensatory mechanisms to act.

Those mechanisms include:

the central autonomic network (CAN) mediating the sympathetic outflow upregulation
skeletal muscles pumped in the legs
the cerebral autoregulatory mechanism
the renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system (RAAS)

The CAN, which is located in the brain stem, helps to coordinate the autonomic supply to your body’s cardiovascular system. There are pressure receptors that send impulses to the CAN when they detect a problem. That, in turn, triggers a flow of norepinephrine, which prompts your body to act. Your body thus experiences vasoconstriction, venoconstriction, and an increased heart rate. Constriction of veins will result in a correction of your orthostasis.

All it takes is 6 to 8 seconds of a stop in blood flow to the brain for someone to lose consciousness. That is how quickly your entire system responds to something as simple as a change in posture (e.g., going from sitting to standing).

Types of Syncope

There are several different types of syncope (and presyncope, which does not involve entirely passing out but does involve some loss of consciousness) that you should know about. Let’s take a look at each type individually and explain their different symptoms.

Woman suffering from headache at home

Reflex syncope

This type is the most common cause of fainting. As described above, your body’s reflexes stop working as they are supposed to. Your heart rate drops, as does your blood pressure. Hence, the blood flow to your brain ceases. In a matter of seconds, you pass out.

There are three sub-types here. These are:

Vasovagal (This happens when your body overreacts to a stimulus, such as standing for too long or intense pain; this accounts for about 50% of reflex fainting cases.)
Situational (This can happen when you do something like sneeze, cough, or laugh.)
Carotid sinus (This can occur as a result of too much pressure placed on the carotid artery in the neck. Even things like wearing a choker necklace or moving your neck too quickly can cause this to happen.)

Symptoms most frequently associated with reflex fainting include:

nausea
feeling too warm
tunnel vision
feeling lightheaded
visually blacking out

Cardiac fainting

This type of fainting is directly related to a problem with your heart. If you have structural issues like cardiomyopathy or a heart valve disorder, you could experience fainting. Electrical problems with the heart (such as arrhythmia) can also contribute, as can various other conditions, including a pulmonary embolism.

You are at risk for cardiac fainting if you are over 60 years of age, are male, have some form of heart disease, or have a known family history of cardiac conditions (especially if those family members have experienced fainting).

The most common symptoms of cardiac fainting are:

passing out while you are lying down
fainting or almost fainting while you are exercising your body
feel heart palpitations or chest pain before passing out

Know the warning signs of poor heart health.

Orthostatic fainting

As mentioned above, orthostasis involves how gravity impacts your blood flow when you change positions. Orthostatic fainting happens when you experience a blood pressure drop as you stand up. Your brain will try to stabilize this, but that doesn’t happen when you have orthostatic issues.

Causes for this condition can include:

being dehydrated
alcohol use
recent blood loss
taking certain medications (such as blood pressure or diabetes meds)
having underlying health conditions (including multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s)

Chiari malformation is another condition that involves fainting. Chiari is a type of structural defect of the skull that causes the cerebellum to compress on the brain stem, causing herniation. The condition Chiari involves intense cervical spinal pain. Since the CAN is located in this impacted area, ANS functions can become dysfunctional. Chiari patients present with a loss of balance and dysautonomia. Decompression surgery can help alleviate these symptoms.

With orthostatic fainting, you might notice warning signs that you are about to drop. Your vision might begin to tunnel or fade to black. However, this type of fainting can happen without any warning.

Cerebrovascular fainting

This type of fainting happens as a result of the blood vessels near and within the brain, not getting enough blood as that they can properly function.

Causes for cerebrovascular fainting can include:

a cerebrovascular disease (such as an aneurysm or stroke) causing damage to the blood vessels
Steal syndrome (which reverses the flow of blood to your arms from the subclavian arteries)
basilar artery disease (a reduction of blood flow in the brain’s basilar arteries)

Those at risk for developing this condition are the elderly, those with cardiovascular disease, and those with cerebrovascular disease.

Symptoms of cerebrovascular fainting include:

experiencing a headache
feeling lightheaded or nauseous
difficulty hearing
confusion
uncoordinated movements

Coping with Fainting

The best thing you can do if you feel faint is to lie down. Elevate your legs and keep your head low (in other words, avoid using a pillow for your neck and keep your entire spine as straight as possible). If you are not able to lay down on a firm surface, sit down. Putting your head between your knees can increase the blood flow to your brain. Stay in this position until your symptoms have passed and slowly get up. Do not rush it.

Afterward, you might feel just fine and not need any immediate medical attention. However, some folks will need to seek emergency medical help. Those people include the elderly, pregnant women, those with heart disease or diabetes, those who were injured in their fall, those who lost consciousness for more than a couple of minutes, those who lost control of bladder or bowel functions during their fainting episode, and those who have had these episodes happen on a somewhat frequent basis.

Final Thoughts: Getting Diagnosed with Syncope or Fainting Spells

It is crucial to speak with your doctor about the diagnosis. Doctors can diagnose your condition with tests like an electrocardiogram (ECG), a tilt-table test, a stress test, an echocardiogram, a CT scan, or an MRI. If you put off getting treated, your condition could worsen.

Do your best to avoid fainting spells. Stay hydrated, sit or lie down as needed, and don’t skip any meals. Pay attention to your triggers and seek medical attention if your situation becomes dire.

13 Quotes from Rumi That Can Transform Your Life

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Rumi was a scholar and poet that lived in 13th-century Persia (now modern-day Iran.) Like all extraordinary gifted, and profound teachers, Rumi’s words have transcended time and place.

An Islamic scholar and Sufi mystic, Rumi wrote much of his thoughts down in the form of poems. As you read through these 13 quotes from the great sage, we invite you to reflect on the words. Allow them to enter your heart and see if they don’t stir up something inside.

Without further ado, here are 13 quotes from Rumi that can transform your life, along with some commentary on each.

13 Rumi Quotes to Remember Always

1 – “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

These words of Rumi were perhaps an expression of lament brought on by the remnants of the Mongol Empire’s conquest of his homeland. The Mongols were a brutal regime, often slaughtering opponents of their expansion – including many Muslims during the time of Rumi.

Moreover, it’s well-known that Rumi was a mystic devoted to contemplation and self-surrender. Like many mystics, he probably realized that the external problems of the world couldn’t be solved without first doing the necessary internal work.

It’s safe to say that Rumi probably wouldn’t think highly of the empty rhetoric and broken promises so prevalent in today’s society.

It’s wonderful that we want to change the world, but we must first change ourselves.

As a Sufi, Rumi certainly practiced Murqabah, an Arabic word that translates to observation in English. Murqabah is a form of Sufi meditation that aims to “watch over” their spiritual heart and gain insight into the Ultimate truth.

Nearly every form of meditation, across religious and spiritual traditions, emphasizes quietude of mind. Individuals who are adept meditators are well-aware that mental silence can lead to profound insight, a phenomenon that Rumi was almost assuredly referring to in this quote.

Please quiet your mind from time to time!

3 – “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore … Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.”

This quote from Rumi is among his most insightful. Demanding particular attention is the mystic’s noting of the relationship between mental well-being and “disease and death.”

Taking on too many things is perhaps the main reason why people nowadays are so stressed. Here, Rumi advises that true wisdom is differentiating between the important and unimportant.

Whether intended or not, Rumi’s quote is also scientific. Relatively recently, scientists have discovered an inextricable link between one’s susceptibility to stress and the development of illness, which, of course, can lead to premature death.

Please pay attention to those things that lift you up. Ignore those that bring you down.

4 – “It’s your road, and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”

Ultimately, we are individuals who are responsible for our own lives. This is the point that Rumi was making in this quote.

That’s not to say that there won’t be interested parties – loved ones, dear friends, and others – who will stand by us on our path. However, like all gifted contemplatives, Rumi assuredly realized that one’s ultimate destiny, if determinable, is influenced by that person – and them alone.

Walk your path, friend.

5 – “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Back in September of 2012, a young man was rushed to the hospital. Eventually, he passed out and woke up with a surgeon telling me he would operate. After the ordeal, he remembered giving a “thumbs up” before drifting back into oblivion.

Fast-forward a couple of days, , when he woke up hearing instructions not to panic while the docs extracted a breathing tube from his lungs. This began the long recovery from a brain abscess, a bacterial infection nearly killing him.

During this time, there was an unmistakable feeling that he could only call Presence. The Presence of something. And it wasn’t just him. Everyone around this former brain surgery survivor felt it too.

This Presence can only be described as “Light.” Pure, loving, protecting light.

Rumi was probably referring to his experience of this Light when he jotted down this beautiful passage.

6 – “Inside you, there’s an artist you don’t know about.”

More beautiful words!

Here’s the thing: we were all well aware of those inner artists as children. But then we were told we had to “grow up” and live in “the real world.” (How’s that treating us, by the way?)

Creative power, which is probably what Rumi was referring to here, is accessed by quieting our minds and hearts. It doesn’t come through arduous effort or diligent striving. We too often forget this fact, creating the stressed-out, always-striving attitude that we carry into our personal and professional lives.

Relax and let your artist out, friend!

7 – “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”

Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, said something similar: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

In all likelihood, Rumi meant something quite similar.

It matters not whether Rumi was referring to the Ultimate “Way” (as Lao Tzu was) or simply to an everyday decision. The “path” could be about career, spirituality, or even the next important task. The advice is the same: start walking and allow the path to reveal itself.

Whatever endeavor you’re considering, start by taking the first step!

8 – “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

Here’s another powerful quote that can apply to just about anything. Apply it to career choice, for instance. Why?

The simple reason is this: our jobs are killing us.

One’s job is the leading cause of stress in life, and it’s really not even close. Job stress contributes to everything from burnout to mental exhaustion, heart disease development, and an increased risk of stroke.

Most of us have forgotten what it feels like to fall in love with our work. To work with meaning, passion, and joy. Instead, we’ve opted to “go where the money is.” Unfortunately, as opposed to Rumi’s advice, this shortsighted approach often does lead us astray.

Find passion in what you do, whether it’s to earn a living or not!

9 – “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

This Rumi quote is a beautiful reminder to remove those inner obstructions blocking love. This applies to both the love of others and self-love.

Notice that Rumi uses the words “Seek and find” to make his point. The things that obstruct our acceptance of love aren’t always apparent. We’re often required to look inside of ourselves to deconstruct the (often subtle) mental and emotional tangles that block it.

10 – “The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind.”

Here, Rumi states that if there’s no limit to the mind, there’s no limit to what the mind can experience.

This isn’t just some feel-good platitude, either.

Take, for instance, the practice of Jhna or absorption meditation. In advanced stages of Jhna, meditators often report experiencing a disconnect from all sense perceptions, with many reporting a connection to the Absolute, or “Source.”

Individuals who master the Jhnas can remain in this state up until to a predetermined time – to the exact hour, minute, and second.

In short, our mind is much more powerful than we think.

11 – “Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.”

When we wear something, we cover ourselves with it. In this saying, Rumi is telling us to cover our heart with feelings of gratitude. Doing so will infuse our life with wellbeing, says the great mystic.

Here’s another quote with scientific backing. Per a whitepaper [PDF] produced by the University of California at Berkeley, gratitude is linked to “many benefits…including better physical and psychological health, increased happiness and life satisfaction, decreased materialism, and more.”

12 – “You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”

It is in the human DNA to explore and discover to maximize our experiences. The society that’s been constructed for us encourages none of these things. We’re told that going to college, getting a good job, and retiring is the only way.

So why is it that most people are unhappy?

Do what brings you joy. Don’t let fear get in the way, either.

13 – “When you let go of who you are, you become who you might be.”

This one’s powerful – and accurate.

If you ask someone who they are, they’ll probably give you their name, what they do for a living, their hobbies, and maybe something else.

But is that who they are? A name, a job? Is that who you are?

The people who have delved the depths of their consciousness say that we are one of these things. We’re most certainly not some evolutionary accident, either.

No. According to the great sages and seers, including Rumi, we are much more. What is that exactly? It’s something we need to find out for ourselves. We can start by letting go.

5 Habits of People With High Self-Awareness

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Self-awareness is, as the name implies, the ability to look at oneself.

What is one looking at? Usually, emotional and thought processes, including beliefs, motivation, strengths, and weaknesses. Self-awareness also permits one to look at how others perceive them.

The ability to monitor ourselves from moment to moment is the key to understanding who we are and our relative place in the world. Moreover, self-awareness is an essential component of happiness and wellbeing.

Daniel Goleman associates self-awareness as a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Goleman’s research and theories on the critical nature of self-awareness are widely accepted as a means of improving one’s awareness of self.

In this article, we are going to examine self-awareness form a standpoint of naivete. As such, we will discuss further the notion and theories of self-awareness, how to measure one’s aptitude in this vital life area, and the five things habits of individuals with high self-awareness.

Here’s a list of 21 habits that equal self-sabatoge (and you might not be aware of them!)

Exploring self-awareness

“Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build strong relationships, and communicate more effectively.” ~ Harvard Business Review (Source)

Again, self-awareness is the capacity to become one’s object of attention. When we’re attentive to ourselves and how we operate in the world, we’re better able to identify, process, and store information about ourselves. With this knowledge, we can then improve on these things.

Two Types of Self-Awareness

It’s important to know that there are two types of self-awareness – internal and external.

Internal self-awareness involves precisely observing our behaviors, thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses. Internal self-awareness also includes our aspirations, passions, values, and environmental fit. High levels 0f internal self-awareness is linked to higher relationship and job satisfaction, an enhanced sense of self-control, and feelings of happiness. It is inversely related to emotional and psychological distress.

External self-awareness involves seeing how others see us. This skill consists of the ability to step outside of one’s shoes and look at ourselves from a third-person perspective. On an interpersonal level, individuals with high external self-awareness may be more empathetic, polite, and harmonious. Research demonstrates a direct correlation between self-awareness and relationship satisfaction.

Per Harvard Business Review, self-awareness is linked to multiple personality characteristics and aptitudes, including creativity, confidence, communication ability, personal efficiency, leadership ability, and even career progression.

5 Habits of People With High Self-Awareness

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey

They practice active listening

The reality is that when most of us listen to someone, we’re thinking about our reply before the individual finishes. Or, worse, there’s something that we’re just so itching to say that we completely interrupt the person.

We’ve all done it. It’s become a habit for most of us. According to Edgar Dale, author of Cone of Experience, we forget 50 to 75 percent of what we hear. In other words, when we discuss something with our customers, boss, children, or spouse for 10 minutes, we’ve only listened to about 2.5 to 5 of those minutes.

Here’s another thing: we can’t possibly build self-awareness if we don’t take an interest in what others have to say. We can’t build self-awareness if we don’t practice active listening. It’s an essential skill to cultivate for this and many other reasons.

We should want to cultivate active listening. Why? Because it helps us to empathize, understand, obtain information, learn, and even to enjoy ourselves.

Active listening means this: concentrating, understanding, responding, and in turn remembering what someone says. Let’s look at each one of these.

Concentrate: You must direct and hold your attention to what’s being said.

Understand: If you concentrated well through the conversation, you should understand it well. However, you may still have questions. If so, ask them.

Respond: If you followed the ‘concentrate’ and ‘understand’ elements, you are well-equipped to respond.

Remember: If you’ve engaged wholly in active listening throughout the conversation, recall shouldn’t be too much trouble.

They get curious about how their minds work

Self-awareness requires paying attention to what’s going on between our ears. We must understand how our brains work before any type of tinkering to awareness can happen.

As such, a highly self-aware person knows the inner-workings of their minds. They know how it acts and reacts, as well as its strengths and weaknesses. Indeed, this is the quintessential function of self-awareness.

How to do this?

First, you must be completely honest with yourself. Our ego has entrenched and often subtle defense mechanisms that require bypassing. We accomplish this by objectively observing ourselves.

Here’s a basic framework for mind investigation:

– What are my predominant mental and emotional states? Which ones are positive? Negative?

– How do I feel when accomplishing something? How can I get into that state of mind?

– What things do I do that make me feel better? Worse? How can I get into those states where I feel better?

Learn the seven signs that your soul is asking for a change in your life.

They solicit feedback – and welcome it all

One sign of outstanding self-awareness is seeking feedback. The problem: so many of us are far too sensitive, proud, or fearful, to willingly ask someone for their honest assessment. We’re scared of what they might say.

The thing is that feedback is critical in any endeavor, including the betterment of our self-awareness

Do you remember that jittery feeling in school before getting back the examination results? How about right before a job evaluation? Of course, you do! That’s fearfulness (some call it anxiety, but that’s another word for fear.)

It may be comforting to know that we all – to a greater or lesser degree – fear the feedback of others. But that doesn’t stop the self-aware from seeking it out.

There’s also the fact that the person you’re seeking feedback from will admire your courage and willingness to improve. Imagine what that shift in perspective can do for you, both personally and professionally!

They’re reflective and thoughtful towards themselves and others

You can’t be self-aware if you’re not attentive. The ability to look at yourself – your feelings and behaviors– is essential to self-awareness.

It’s not only about being reflective and thoughtful towards yourself. It’s also about extending these qualities to others. You do this mostly through communicating, interacting with, and responding to people.

Here’s an example. You receive a harshly-worded, borderline-inappropriate email from a client about your job performance. You can feel yourself become angry, and your thinking clouded. At the moment, there’s nothing you want to do more than giving a piece of your mind to the ungrateful urchin that is your customer. Do you follow through?

Notice that, with a couple of tweaks, the above scenario applies to pretty much any situation, anywhere. Maybe it’s your kids, your spouse, your co-workers. Perhaps it’s not an email, but a text message, a passing conversation, or a slight remark. Instead of critiquing professional understanding, it’s the scrutinization of your social etiquette.

Regardless of the context, the premise is the same: you’re being told something that you don’t want to hear. Now, instead of blowing a fuse, do the hard thing and reflect on the situation.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Is the underlying message (minus the perceived aggression, vitriol, etcetera) in any way justifiable?
Is this how the person feels about me?
Have I done anything – intentional or unintentional – that may have led, or even contributed, to this encounter?

While this is a hard thing to do, asking yourself these questions – and taking the appropriate actions – will contribute to your personal development in ways unimaginable.

They don’t “do” self-awareness, they are self-aware

This last point is critical if a bit subtle.

In the beginning phases of any endeavor, there’s some effort involved. This includes the practice of self-awareness. There’s a specific “doing” of self-awareness that happens as one acclimates to “being” self-aware.

It’s important to know that, after a certain point, there’s no conscious “doing” of self-awareness. As long as there’s continuous exertion, the skill of self-awareness continues to develop. More importantly, it demonstrates that there’s critical work still to be done.

Self-aware people are often, ironically, less aware of their innate awareness. (Hahaha!)

Joking aside, don’t settle for being a student of self-awareness. Graduate and enter the full-time occupation of it. Embody self-awareness – and transform how you both see yourself and how others see you.

Final Thoughts: Don’t look at the active doing of self-awareness as a shortcoming.

Just as some people are naturally better at any skill, some people are more adept at being self-aware.

The fact that you’re actively engaging in self-awareness practice already says a ton about your character and drive for self-improvement!

Child Psychologists Explain 11 Ways To Earn Your Child’s Friendship

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Does your child sometimes feel distant from you? Maybe it’s the generational gap, or maybe your child is at a certain life stage that makes them less interested in getting along with you. Either way, you may be wondering how you can return to being a best friend to your child. A child’s friendship isn’t that much different from an adult’s friendship.

However, it is more innocent and, often, more fickle than what you’d expect from a grown-up. Still, there are science-backed ways to strengthen those bonds and encourage your child to be a close pal to you. Here’s how child psychologists explain 11 ways to earn your child’s friendship.

Here’s How to Earn Your Child’s Friendship

1 – Start With Commitment

Every parent should be committed to their child; that’s just a given. But not every parent actively puts that into practice or keeps it in mind to the point that they don’t forget it.

And yet, an unconditional form of commitment to a child is extremely central to making sure you and your child are friends, says Marriage and Family Formation Vice President, author, and family counselor Dr. Greg Smalley. So get your commitment right! Say to your child:

“I will always love you no matter what.”
“No matter what happens, I will support you.”
“Even when I’m angry at you, I will always love you.”

2 – Allow Them To Make Decisions

Yes, we know kids aren’t fully rational and don’t have all the necessary decision-making faculties in place. But there’s no better time to teach the concept of making choices and facing their results than now!

You shouldn’t let kids make huge decisions all on their own, but you can involve them in those big choices. For things that are minor and won’t severely affect anyone, you can ask them to make their own decision. For example, you can:

Ask them what they would like for breakfast
Let them choose between extracurricular activities
Ask for their opinion on two different holiday options

3 – Add Them To Your Schedule

In our busy everyday lives, it can be tough to make sure that you have a good work-life balance. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family called “Time With Children, Children’s Well?Being, and Work?Family Balance Among Employed Parents” has found that children are actually a very good indication of whether you’re managing that balance in a positive way or not.

To build a meaningful friendship with someone, you need to have a good amount of time spent with them. The same goes for your children. You don’t need to bend your back or jeopardize your work to do well by your children. You can:

Set aside an hour every day to spend with them, doing anything fun
Make it a point to eat at least one meal a day with them
Watch the movies or TV shows they love with them
Make time to play with them
Bring them to places that they love or enjoy
Be available for them to talk to; make a show of putting aside your work when they have something they want to talk to you about

You should also try to involve your kids in your daily life as much as you can. For example:

Let them help with chores, cooking, and simple tasks
Bring them along with you when you run errands
Give them a toy or miniature versions of the things you use every day; even paper cut-outs can do the trick!

4 – Listen To Understand

Friendship is a two-way street. You want your child to listen to you, and they want to be listened to as well. Another concept Dr. Greg Smalley stands by is listening to your child if you want them to be friends with you.

More specifically, you need to practice active listening. Make eye contact with your child – unless they have a disorder that makes that uncomfortable! – and listen carefully. Think about your goal, which is to understand your child’s point of view, even if that point of view is “childish” or silly!

You should also ask them questions to clarify what they mean, and repeat what they say in your own words to show your understanding.

5 – Lead By Example

Kids may need some time to master their intelligence, but they can still tell when you don’t practice what you preach. Most children learn through observation, so you can earn their friendship by doing the same things you expect of them.

This is such a natural instinct for children that a study called “Toddlers’ imitative learning in interactive and observational contexts: the role of age and familiarity of the model” found that children easily learn by example from everyone, not just close family! So lead by example, and your kids will enjoy picking up on your actions – just make sure they’re positive examples!

6 – Have Some Respect For Their Choices

It’s easy to want to be a little controlling of your child’s decisions. After all, you have so many more years of experience. Your child’s dream job might sound impractical. Their relationship may not look like it’ll last. Their chosen degree might not be the best for them, but a child will appreciate it if you respect their decisions.

We’re not saying that you should never step in when your child is going to do something bad for them. But there are some things you don’t need to try and control so much! You can advise them and tell them what you think and how strongly you feel about their choices, but you want them to know that when the decisions affect them and not you, you will support them even if you disagree.

7 – Let Touch Do The Talking

Physical touch can have quite a significant effect on a child. In fact, hugs release the hormone oxytocin, which promotes positive thinking and bonding. Here are all the ways hugs can benefit a child:

Growth

Did you know that there is a growth deficiency called “failure-to-thrive”? What it does is cause children to be unable to grow normally, and it happens when children do not receive sufficient physical touch or affection.

Health and Recovery

Oxytocin has been proven to help with wound recovery and immune system strength. A study published in Germany entitled “Oxytocin, a mediator of anti-stress, well-being, social interaction, growth and healing” showed that oxytocin reduces thyroid hormone plasma levels, stress, and other negative issues!

Intelligence

Yes, hugging can make a child smarter! Physical touch stimulates the brain, and hugging is the right kind of gentle physical affection to help a child’s brain grow nice and strong.

Bonding

When you hug a child, you are feeding into positive attachment bonding mechanisms. Multiple studies have linked oxytocin production and attachment bonding, including “Oxytocin enhances the experience of attachment security”, which was published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology in 2009.

Tantrums

Some parents believe that they should not hug their child when they are throwing a tantrum as it “rewards” the child. But the fact is that tantrums are an inability to perform emotional processing. Your child needs aid in calming down, and a hug can provide that aid.

8 – Offer Encouragement

A little encouragement goes a long way. When you teach, correct, and even scold your child, it’s a good idea to fall back onto some positive points instead of focusing only on the negative. Constant negativity can make your child fall into bad patterns of negative self-esteem.

So, the next time you’re seriously speaking to or correcting your child, don’t forget to encourage them. Examples of encouragement include:

Acknowledging their efforts to improve
Expressing pride in their efforts to improve
Reminding them that there are other things they are talented in
Inspiring them with stories of hard work and improvement
Telling them some of your own struggles with self-improvement
Giving them ideas for goals to keep in mind

Learn how to shape child behavior with kindness using positive reinforcement.

9 – Learn About Them

Many parents fall into the trap of labeling their children. This action can have multiple adverse effects, including:

Becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy
Putting undue pressure on children with positive labels
Causing self-esteem issues in children with negative labels
One-track thinking and self-limiting

When you pigeon-hole your children this way, you’re not doing them or yourself any favors. Take the time to really get to know your kids. You might think you know them better than they know themselves, but they’re still human beings and will grow and change over time. Learn:

Their likes and dislikes
Their natural temperament and personality
Their friends
Their dreams
Their life goals
What motivates them best

10 – Don’t Overdo Protectiveness

All parents can be quite protective of their little ones and with good reason. But there’s a big difference between protection and control. Controlling every single move your child makes will only cause them to feel uncomfortable sharing things with you, leading to lies, deception, and the act of hiding things from you.

Keep your child safe, but don’t control their every move. Learn to find a balance between overbearing protection and letting your child learn from mistakes and have their own privacy in certain areas. Trust us, it will make your friendship with them that much stronger!

11 – Don’t Ask, Share

Many parents complain that they ask their child all sorts of questions but don’t get concrete answers. There’s actually a reason for this. Bombarding a child with constant questions will only make them tired of being interrogated. It’s even worse when you don’t answer their questions!

So, instead of peppering them with inquiries, share something from yourself. Talk about your own day, your own friends, or even just random thoughts. This will encourage them to join in with the sharing and contribute, too!

Science proves a connection between lax parenting and emotional disorders in your children.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Earn Your Child’s Friendship

Not every parent wants to be friends with their child. Depending on your views and opinions on parenting, you may not feel like you need to be friends with your kids until they’re much older. But if you do want to earn their friendship, the methods are easier than you may expect!

Just treating your child as you would a friend can already make them feel more comfortable around you, increasing your bonds, their positive thinking, and their willingness to share things with you. If you are to be your child’s friend, it’s a friendship that they will value for a lifetime.

15 Ways To Confess Your Love To Your Partner

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

The first time you confess your love to someone is very nerve-wracking! But sometimes, continuing to confess that love every single day to a partner can be just as anxiety-inducing if you fear that you’ve run out of ways to say it.

But love doesn’t have to be complicated! Simple gestures and little things can matter most in long-term relationships.

Here are 15 ways to confess your love to your partner.

Meet a couple who met during adversity and wrote their own love story.

1 – Show Interest In Their Interests

This point might not seem like the ultimate show of love, but it can mean a lot to your partner. Who knows – their hobbies might turn out to be something you like too.

It’s not that hard to show some interest – here are some tips!

Play their favorite music or bands in the car.
Watch their favorite shows with them.
Discuss with them about their interests. (Or let them rant on about it.)
Check out those interests yourself, in your own spare time!

2 – Write Love Letters

Go old-school romantic. Break out your fountain pen, brush up your penmanship, and write them a physical letter! Want to take it to the next level? Consider these extra bonuses.

Fill the envelope with something they like – for example, stickers.
Spritz a scent on it. Either something they like or something that’ll remind them of you.
Seal the envelope with wax for bonus points.
Write positive things you love about them!

3 – Ask Them Questions, Then Listen and Remember

What’s the best way for someone to feel like they’re being heard and loved? Simple – showing interest in them as a person. It’s not very often we get to be the target of someone’s full attention, and it makes us feel important and loved. But just how do you show you’re listening?

Notice where they’re passionate, then ask them to elaborate on the subject.
Take some interest in their life – where have they gone, what have they done?
Remember what’s important to them – if they mention not liking tomatoes, make sure to avoid tomatoes when choosing meals for them.

4 – Cook For Them

These days, it’s hard to find time and energy to cook ourselves a proper meal. To prepare dinner of some kind for a loved one, therefore, is an act of love – whether it is acknowledged as one or not. So if you’re trying to woo someone, why not consider making them a romantic meal? But how do you even get started?

Figure out what your partner’s favorite meal is in advance. If not, go for something simple but delicious.
Enlist the help of a friend. It helps halve prepping and cooking time, and if you’re not good at cooking, it’s good to have support!
If you have the skill for it, get them a fortune cookie that says ‘I love you’ on the paper.

5 – Help Complete Their To-Do List

Trying to get everything done on time is always a stressful thing. It can have a tangible effect on your relationship – it’s hard to maintain positive thinking when there’s just so much left to be done, let alone be romantic with you. So what better way than to show your love by helping them out with said list?

Get an app that shares to-do lists. This way, you can be kept abreast of what your partner needs to be done, and get it sorted for them in advance.
Help remind them of things they need to do. Just add their events to your calendar, and remind them of any approaching deadlines now and then.
Take the initiative – if you see things around the house that needs doing, deal with it first, so they don’t have to.

6 – Give Them A Handmade Gift

Saying ‘I love you’ is a beautiful thing, but not everyone’s love language is based on words. For those of you whose partners prefer gifts, why not try making something of your own for them to remember by? Everyone remembers and loves the handmade gifts the best, even if the crafter isn’t too great at handicrafts. It’s the thought that counts, after all.

Here are some ideas to get you to confess your love!

Make a little box full of memories. Movie ticket stubs, polaroid pictures, keepsakes from specific trips – the possibilities are endless!
Pick up a crafting skill and make them something! It can be anything – pottery, crocheting, or origami, so long as you can make them something personalized.
Search up online for more romantic DIY gift ideas. Check out Pinterest to start with!

7 – Get Small, Thoughtful Gifts to Confess Your Love

With just how life tends to rush us through every day, it can be hard to show our loved one’s care and affection. And you may likely think you need to put on some grand show when you do – something that takes much more time and energy than we often have to spare.

But unless that is precisely what your partner wants (and they’re okay with long, empty stretches in between to compensate), you can just give them simple gifts throughout the day! Here are some examples:

Hide written notes everywhere. It’s hard to stay positive these days, so a little pick-me-up is sure to make them smile!
Sneak their favorite snack into their packed meals.
Bring them a delicious drink while they’re working.

8 – Make A Treasure Hunt

When was the last time you and your partner had the kind of fun that makes the both of you giddy and giggly? It’s time for you guys to have a little playtime – literally!

Buy your partner’s favorite snack, and hide them around the house with clues leading them to the final stash.
Alternatively, do that, but instead leave no clues – tease them with the knowledge that their snack is hidden somewhere, and watch them tear the house apart in the hunt!
Make a map to some hidden treasure in the house, and fill the house with clues. At the end of it all, hide a gift of some kind. Perhaps a time capsule, full of memories you’ve collected!

9 – Tell Them When Things Remind You Of Them

Realistically speaking, our partners can’t be on our minds 24/7. After all, other things need to be done – and you can trust them to love you no matter what.

That said, it’s always lovely to be reminded that you’re in someone’s thoughts – so why not do that for your partner? Send them memes, photos, overheard snippets of conversation, things that encourage positive thinking – the possibilities are endless!

10 – Use Music to Confess Your Love

Even if your partner doesn’t have any favorite bands or genres, they can certainly appreciate a good song. Why not take advantage of that universal fact?

- Make a playlist of song that reminds you of them, and then send it to them to enjoy!
- Pick their favorite song, and then rewrite the lyrics to match the love story you’re trying to tell. If you can’t sing well, get a friend to do it for you! (Or try anyway. It’s the thought that counts.)
- This one’s for the musicians – write a whole song dedicated to them!

11 – Dance With Them

Have you seen just how much tension and chemistry there is onstage among dancers? Why not take advantage of that and spark some chemistry yourself. Organize a fun little dance party for the two of you, and dance the night away! Don’t worry if neither can dance – it’s all about making memories.

Alternatively, you can go a step further – maybe your partner will be interested in learning how to dance, and you can both sign up for lessons!

12 – Touch Them

Some people have the feeling of touch as their love language – and it doesn’t always have to be some grand affair. Physical contact promotes the production of positive bonding hormone oxytocin, too. Here are a few other ways to show them your love over the course of the day – aside from the evident hand-holding, kissing, and hugging:

Place your hand on their arm or knee. It doesn’t have to be possessive – it can just be a physical reminder that you’re there.
Let your touch linger along their bare skin – don’t be shy, have fun being a tease!
Learn how to give your partner massages. A shoulder massage can be just what they need after a long day.

13 – Surprise Them Publicly to Confess Your Love

When was the last time you’ve reminded the world that this fantastic person is yours? This can get pretty cute, especially if you’re a known, established couple. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Get the barista to add a secret message to your partner’s drink.
Request the band to play your partner’s favorite song at the pub.
Have someone set up a sign in the middle of a path you’ll both be taking.

14 – Show Your Excitement At Seeing Them

The internet has made the world so much smaller – no longer do you have to wait weeks or months to see your beloved. All you have to do is tune in to their Instagram feed, or just ask them to send you a selfie. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stop being excited to see them once more!

Jump for joy when you get to meet up with them in person again.
Show genuine happiness whenever you see a photo of them. It’ll be sure to brighten their day!
Arrange another date at the end of the current one. You just can’t wait to see them again!

15 – Make An Effort To Get In Touch First

Don’t always wait for them to reach out to you – take the initiative. Text them first, or arrange to see them first. There’s nothing wrong with being busy, but it doesn’t hurt to check in on your partner on a regular basis. They’ll appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Confess Your Love To Your Partner

If you know your partner well – and you should! – then you’ll know the kinds of things they like and what they respond best to. Still, don’t be afraid to try new gestures! You never know what your partner will love.

Ultimately, you love them, and they love you – so why shouldn’t you keep finding new ways to tell each other that? That will keep your romance beautifully alive and in bloom for years and years to come.

15 Situations You Should Never Say Yes To If You Want to Be Happy

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Do you want to be happy? Most people do! But what are you to do when that happiness eludes you? If that’s the case, it’s time to take a close look at your life and how you conduct it.

Often, we put ourselves in damaging situations without realizing the harm that they cause. Being aware of these patterns can stop them in their tracks. Here are 15 situations you should never say yes to if you want to be happy.

Don’t Do These 15 Things If You Want to Be Happy

1 – Feel Lonely When You’re Alone

While there are things best done by your lonesome, it’s hard to get some positive thinking going when you allow yourself to actually feel lonely while you’re alone. Here are some things that bring happiness if you may be alone or away from friends

Playing online multiplayer games, solitaire, etc.
Reflect on your place in life, where you want to be and what it takes to get there.
Watching movies where booing the characters is encouraged.

2 – Comparisons

The human want and need to compare ourselves with others is something as old as time itself, although there is nothing positive to be gained from it. There is no point in chasing after a life we don’t have, all the while ignoring what we do have. Consider instead doing the following things when you feel jealousy:

Turn off social media for the day.
Control your content feed. Don’t fill it with things that will cause you jealousy.
Indulge in the things that make you happy, with no regard for how “good” or “productive” it is.

3 – Exes Calling You Back Cannot Make You Happy

The relationship had ended for a good reason. Leave it there for the sake of your mental health, and move on towards more positive things instead:

Do some self-introspection. What lessons about yourself did that relationship teach you? What else can you do better next time?
Hang out with your friends. Have them support you in this emotionally distressing time, and let them distract you.
Acknowledge the bad, but also celebrate the good that came from it. Positive thinking doesn’t have to be one done through rose-tinted glasses – it’s essential to recognize and appreciate both the good and the bad in any relationship.

4 – Working For Jobs You Dislike

The term ‘burnout’ exists for a reason – if we don’t get that much-needed rest, it starts having dire consequences on our emotional, mental, and physical health.

Medically, this should come as no surprise – just the single, independent factor of working overtime increases the risk of coronary heart disease. So – just what should you do for the sake of your health?

Consider leaving your job, or switching to a different position within the company if that isn’t possible.
Take a look at The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor – the principles in it are an excellent place to start.
Identify what the individual elements about your job that is contributing to your stress are. Perhaps you can deal with them on a case-by-case basis to make it manageable.

5 – Sitting For Too Long

Since physical health is related to mental and emotional health, this might be something you’d want to look into. Studies have shown that sitting down for too long can negatively affect your cardiovascular health – no matter how much exercise you do.

So instead of lounging on a sofa or hunching over your keyboard, why not consider the following?

Invest in a standing desk. A motor-controlled one can raise and lower the height, depending on whether you need to stand or sit for something.
Watch your favorite shows while walking on a treadmill. Better health and good entertainment equal a positive net bonus!

6 – Drama and Gossip Inhibit Happy Feelings

There’s no point in being nosy about someone else’s circumstances and behavior – especially if it has nothing to do with you. Instead, it’s best to just focus on your own lives, and what is immediately relevant to you. Here are some reasons why:

Improving your personal experience is something that should take up all of your focus.
Engaging in drama and gossip about someone else’s lives only serves to add more stress and distraction.
Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you. If you would hate to be on the receiving end of that kind of unwanted attention, then why would you inflict it on others?

7 – Worrying Too Much

Just what has worry ever brought us aside from fear and anxiety? While some may argue positive thinking in these times is naive and simple-minded, the fact is that nothing good can be gained from worrying. So – what can you do instead?

Enjoy every moment as it comes into your life.
Be productive, make something tangible with your hands as some kind of progress.
Narrow your focus towards things you can directly handle and have control over.

8 – Being Asked To Do More Than You Can Handle

Being overwhelmed is perfectly normal in life – especially when you’re trying to learn something for the first time. But if you find yourself being overwhelmed most of the time, that may be an issue. Just why is this happening?

You’ve taken on too many tasks. Know your limits are and have realistic ideas on what you’re capable of.
You don’t know how to prioritize. Master this skill quickly, and life will become a little easier.
You’re too stressed. Try to deal with the individual elements causing that stress one step at a time.

9 – Idleness

It’s so easy to try squeezing in one more episode of your favorite Netflix show before getting started on work or hitting that snooze alarm for another five more minutes. This all inevitably ends up in stress and frustration when we realize too late that we’re now out of time.

Chip away at it. If you can’t get started properly, just pen down some notes first.
Happy people do not procrastinate. Start when you should.
Talk to someone about it. Sometimes you just need someone to organize it for you.

10 – Settling

At some point, it can be incredibly easy to just settle for “good enough.” This can apply to just about anything – career, friendships, and relationships. It’s one thing to be comfortable, but it’s another to settle for complacency and bare minimum. If you find yourself getting bored, consider the following points:

Sign the both of you up for some sort of adventurous trip, or a simple pottery class.
Talk to your friend. Maybe there’s something between you both that’s been making it hard for you both to bond closer.
Aim for a better job or career – there’s no point in staying in a poor job.

11 – Hurrying

It’s tempting to rush forward and to prove to yourself that you’re capable of keeping up with the pack. This, however, is detrimental to your happiness. Here are a few ways to steal back a few more precious minutes:

Prioritize things that are important first.
Manage your time efficiently.
Don’t pressure yourself – you don’t need to rush.
Understand that you can’t do everything you want in one go, and that’s okay.

12 – Staying Indoors All Day

Studies have proven just how positive getting natural sunlight is to us. Not enough of it affects our ability to absorb vitamin D, and it has a direct effect on our mental health. This is such a big issue that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a well-documented phenomenon in countries that experience dark, gloomy winters.

Want to get better, but don’t know where to begin? Here are some things you can do to get started:

Go for some wilderness excursions. Nature has been scientifically proven to lift one’s mood!
Spend some time in the sun whenever you can.
Arrange for simple events outdoors, like a picnic in the park or a trip to the beach.
Do some gardening!

13 – Spending Time With Toxic People

It only makes sense that surrounding ourselves with toxic, negative people will only serve to worsen our moods and mental states. Just how can you improve yourself and find a better life’s purpose if you’re continually being sabotaged at every corner?

The best way to be happy is to avoid such a scenario. Here are some tips:

Avoid people who belittle you. It’s hard to keep a positive outlook when they’re always talking down your goals and dreams.
Look out for people who bring joy and happiness into your life and drop anyone who doesn’t.
Cut out people who don’t know the difference between crushing you and giving you constructive criticism.

14 – Blame

Nobody likes to be in the wrong. It’s a horrible feeling and one that we naturally try to avoid. This often means that our first reaction to trouble is to blame someone else, so we don’t have to deal with the consequences.

In reality, this actually can make things worse. Yes, it’s unpleasant, but there are benefits to be gained from taking responsibility for your actions:

Taking responsibility also means taking control of the situation and yourself.
You create an opportunity for you to learn from the problem.
You forge your sense of self and your capabilities through the process of resolving the issue.
You’ll learn to develop a sense of courage, and as you overcome the problem.

15 – Everything, All The Time

Many of us have been raised with this mindset that unless there is something that makes fulfilling the request impossible, we should always say ‘yes’ to it. In our minds, to refuse would be to hurt somehow or disappoint them.

In reality, learning how to say no is an important skill. Here are some reasons why:

You establish healthy emotional boundaries. This isn’t just good for you – it’s also great for others, as they know where your clear boundaries lie.
You give yourself time to do things you want to do. You don’t need an excuse to reserve your limited time and energy for things and people that are important to you.
You’ll learn how to stand up for yourself.

Final Thoughts On Some Situations You Should Never Say Yes To

Being happy can be difficult. The journey to happiness is often fraught with other more negative emotions. But by choosing the situations you allow yourself to be a part of, you can move more quickly along the rocky road that leads to that happiness.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Do Some Yoga

Have A Routine

Dance

Change Things Up

Just Get Moving

Do A Crossword Puzzle

Learn Another Language

Learn To Play A Musical Instrument

Color, Doodle, or Draw

Play Games

Just Learn Anything New!

They Get Sufficient Minerals and Vitamins

They Don’t Eat Too Much Sugar

They Eat Omega-3 Fatty Acids

They Eat Antioxidants

They Eat Dark Chocolate

They May Enjoy A Mediterranean Diet

They Drink Moderate Amounts of Red Wine

They Drink Moderate Amounts of Coffee

Visualize yourself meeting positive friends.

Work on changing your thoughts.

Examine your current friendships and relationships.

Give out what you want to receive.

Limit your exposure to negative news or media.

They practice active listening

They get curious about how their minds work

They solicit feedback – and welcome it all

They’re reflective and thoughtful towards themselves and others

They don’t “do” self-awareness, they are self-aware

Growth

Health and Recovery

Intelligence

Bonding

Tantrums

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!