Ever wonder why you seem to attract negative people to you?
The fact is … positive and negative people are often drawn to each other even when they seem so vastly different. It’s rooted in our nature. In fact, we can prove this in science.
A battery has two ends — a positive terminal (cathode) and a negative terminal (anode). If you connect the two ends …electricity is produced! Whether comfortable or not, when a negative person connects with a positive, energy is created. We crave energy. Energy is a flow of electrons and energy is a flow of emotions, If you’ve ever wondered why opposites attract – there’s part of your answer.
A positive force will magnetically draw a negative charge to it.
Know that dealing with negative people, you first must recognize that we are in fact attracted to the energy or charge that we feel. The key is to understand if the flow energy and if you need to “detach” from that negative force.
Evaluate Your Relationships
What are you getting from the relationship? What is it you want from the relationship and is it realistic? Will you ever get it? Does this relationship serve you? Is your life better with this person in it?
With most relationships, we have a choice. We can’t choose our family members but we can choose our friends. Does this person lift you up? Are they happy about your success? Do they cheer for you? Or, do they pray for you? Do they care enough to push you or ask uncomfortable questions when you’re off track?
A true friend is someone who cares so much, that they will risk offending you, having that uncomfortable conversation to let you know when you’re on a destructive path or just underselling yourself. That one true friend should feel like the President of your Fan Club! A true friend wants what’s in your best interest… Those are the people you need in your life. Those are the important relationships — and you have a choice.
Those friends who are negative, impossible please, terribly unhappy with themselves and hell-bent on confrontation are not healthy people to spend time with. There is a cost to be paid and guess who pays the price? Ask yourself how often this person repays or redeposits the withdrawals they make? We have a finite amount of love, energy, compassion and most importantly time. Be mindful of how and with whom you spend those things.
Now I am certainly not suggesting that you cut these individuals from your life. Everyone has value. Everyone has a way in which they enrich our lives. I hope you find these following suggestions helpful.
How to best manage negative people and relationships:
1. Consider carefully how much of yourself you give to those who only withdraw.
2. Give negative individuals less power over your emotions, time and happiness.
3. You are not responsible for another person’s happiness, value or good mood.
4. Don’t take the hurtful actions as a personal reflection.
5. Remember…it is impossible to win an argument with someone who is “never wrong” or blindly self-focused.
6. Difficult, needy, angry, overly sensitive people are that way —not because of something you’ve done or not done—- but often because of early childhood experiences.
7. Have empathy and compassion but not at the risk of sacrificing yourself.
8. Don’t take it personally. It’s really not about you. And sometimes there’s nothing you can fix….but we can choose our friends.