Positive People still Attract Negative People. Here’s why. . .

Positive People still Attract Negative People. Here’s why. . .

Ever wonder why you seem to attract negative people to you?

The fact is … positive and negative people are often drawn to each other even when they seem so vastly different. It’s rooted in our nature. Actually… It’s science.

positive-thinking-batteriesA battery has two ends — a positive terminal (cathode) and a negative terminal (anode). If you connect the two ends …electricity is produced!  Whether comfortable or not, when a negative person connects with a positive, an energy is created.  We crave energy. Energy is a flow of electrons and energy is a flow of emotions,  If you’ve ever wondered why opposites attract – there’s part of your answer.

A Positive force will magnetically draw a negative charge to it.


Know that dealing with negative people, you first must recognize that we are in fact attracted to the energy or charge that we feel. The key is to understand if the flow energy and if you need to “detach” from that negative force.

What are you getting from the relationship? What is it you want from the relationship and is it realistic? Will you ever get it? Does this relationship serve you? Is your life better with this person in it?

With most relationships we have a choice. We can’t choose our family members but we can choose our friends. Does this person lift you up? Are they happy for your success? Do they cheer for you? Do they pray for you? Do they care enough to push you or ask uncomfortable questions when you’re off track?

A true friend is someone who cares so much, that they will risk offending you, having that uncomfortable conversation to let you know when you’re on a destructive path or just underselling yourself. A true friend should feel like the President of your Fan Club! A true friend wants what’s in your best interest… Those are the people you need in your life. Those are the important relationships — and you have a choice.

Those friends who are negative, impossible please, terribly unhappy with themselves, and hell bent on confrontation are not healthy people to spend time with. There is a cost to be paid and guess who pays the price? Ask yourself how often this person repays or redeposits the withdrawals they make? We have a finite amount of love, energy, compassion and most importantly time. Be mindful of how and with whom you spend those things.

Now I am certainly not suggesting that you cut these individuals from your life. Everyone has value. Everyone has a way in which they enrich our lives. I hope you find these following suggestions helpful.

negative-peopleHow to best manage negative people and relationships:

1. Consider carefully how much of yourself you give to those who only withdraw.

2. Give negative individuals less power over your emotions, time and happiness.

3. You are not responsible for another person’s happiness, value or good mood.

4. Don’t take the hurtful actions as a personal reflection.

5. Remember…it is impossible to win an argument with someone who is “never wrong” or blindly self-focused.

6. Difficult, needy, angry, overly sensitive people are that way —not because of something you’ve done or not done—- but often because of early childhood experiences.

7. Have empathy and compassion but not at the risk of sacrificing yourself.

8. Don’t take it personal. It’s really not about you. And sometimes there’s nothing you can fix….but we can chose our friends.

Hurt people hurt people.

When the negative person is a family remember that you have choice in the way you respond—- respond in love. Stop being angry, end your resentment. Put love in your heart. We can’t change people… But we can pray for them.

When dealing with unhappy family members, know your part, but set healthy boundaries.

Be supportive without taking responsibility for the self-worth of another. Create a healthier relationship. And if you want this person in your life, (or if you really don’t have a choice via marriage or bloodline ) then make a decision to do your best without sacrificing your soul.

Ask questions. Listen.

And listening doesn’t mean letting the other person talk, so that they will hurry up and finish so you can say what you need to say. Listening is understanding; trying to see things from their life perspective. Having an understanding of what it is like to walk in their shoes and what experiences have led them to this way of thinking. Take the word confrontation out of your vocabulary. Decide to be more loving.

And lastly, I believe that no relationship is 50/50.

Every relationship has a humble hero. It’s okay to be that person from time to time who does more and takes pride in their role. Be the person who’s willing to make the other person feel like the center of the universe. Instead of keeping score or building resentment, just hold that pride inside of you.

Know without having to broadcast it or write your award acceptance speech that this is ***your gift*** This is what draws other people to you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself or wondering when someone else is going to do the same for you. Respond in love or make a decision to make a change.

There are exceptions to every rule – but the thing I know for sure and it sounds “total cheeseburger” but love is almost always the right answer.

Chalene Johnson

New York Times Best Selling Author, Entrepreneur and Self-Made Millionaire, Business and Marketing Expert, Motivational Speaker, Life Balance Coach, Celebrity Fitness Personality, Designer, and Happily Married Wife and Mother of Two

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View Comments (18)


  1. Maria Diocaretz

    June 12, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Wonderful!!! Just in time!!! It is a significant article to read and practice.

    • Chalene Johnson

      June 16, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      Thank you Maria. So excited to be featured by the Power of Positivity!

  2. Ashley Thomas

    June 17, 2014 at 2:20 am

    I loved this something I could read everyday and share with many!

  3. Harshavardhan

    August 12, 2014 at 7:48 am

    Thanks for this wonderful article. I loved this article. Appreciate the way you written this. This is very much helpful this to me right now.Thank you again.

  4. Gwenda Tyas

    September 18, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    Excellent article! One question…. what to do when you are always the humble hero? I am exhausted from it….do you suggest not being the hero anymore? I am becomming resentful

    • Chris Butler

      Chris Butler

      October 5, 2014 at 5:49 pm

      Sometimes, it’s best to know that the reward doesn’t have to always show up the way you wish it would. 🙂

  5. Thale Gifted

    October 4, 2014 at 2:05 am

    Thank you guys for this wonderful and inspiring article. It helps paint a perfect picture in my life and making it easy for me to deal and understand people in my life more. Love is the only hope and key to a positive and stress free life. I love it! ;]

  6. Donna

    October 15, 2014 at 10:29 am

    I want to thank you because this was the perfect thing for me to read today. Someone that I love very much falls into the negative category and I’ve had to shift my thinking about our relationship. Your article helped me to understand that I have to accept that I will never receive exactly what I give to this person, but I don’t have to act like a martyr about it. We all love some people that have negative tendencies and it’s important to set boundaries for yourself to avoid hurt and resentment. I’m working hard to create a healthier relationship based on this. Thanks again.

    • Power of Positivity

      Power of Positivity

      February 17, 2015 at 8:45 am

      But this too can change. And loving people love people. But not all loving people were always loving…

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