Page 497

Perfect Relationships Were Never Meant to Be Perfect (Without The Growth)

November 5, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Have people often told you that you were a hopeless romantic? Are you perpetually entranced by fairy tales and Hollywood’s version of “happily ever after?” Perhaps your search for perfect relationships has never come to fruition.

In reality, we live in an imperfect world that’s full of fallible people. The knight in shining armor doesn’t always come to rescue the damsel in distress. You won’t always find the singing cowboy hero riding off into the sunset with his fair lady at his side.

Since there’s no such thing as a perfect person, perfect relationships can’t exist. It’s a falsehood created by authors, artists, and romantics since the beginning. Real-life mothers don’t clean their homes and vacuum in heels and pearls, and Father doesn’t always know best. The stereotypes of perfection are old, tired, and outdated. So stop trying to live up to perfect relationships that do not exist!

Sometimes, unrealistic expectations of a relationship can be more harmful than good. It can often hinder you from finding your forever person. If you are stuck in the chronic myth of perfect relationships, here are some helpful hints to bring you back to reality.

Why Relationships Shouldn’t Be Perfect

In the best of relationships, there are bound to be conflicts of opinions. If not, somebody isn’t true to himself. You and your partner have different life experiences, thoughts, ideas, and dreams. It’s what makes you both unique as a person.

The problem comes when one partner has an unrealistic view of the relationship and tries to change the other to conform. In a healthy relationship, people realize that although they are a couple, they must still respect each other’s individuality. Going into a relationship to change someone will only lead to disaster.

So, you will always have issues in a relationship. Working together to solve them creates a closer bond and prevents your relationship from becoming stagnate. Here are some normal imperfections that are usually part of the perfect imperfect relationship.

1. Everyone Has Flaws

Are there things about your sweetheart that make you see red, or vice-versa? Chances are you both had these little idiosyncrasies when you met and fell in love. Maybe he is chronically late, or you are a neat freak.

If these were issues in the beginning, they are likely to be more challenging in the long run. You can both work on yourselves, but the issues probably won’t go away. Learning to cope with personal flaws is all part of growing in a relationship.

2. Disagreements are Normal

No matter how much you adore one another, you are bound to have some disagreements in the relationship. Individual preferences are bound to create conflict, even for the most committed couples. These will probably turn into arguments that may get a little heated.

However, disagreements are never an excuse to abuse each other verbally or physically. Just because you argued doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. When you can discuss the issues calmly and come to a compromise, you grow as a couple.

3. Pick Your Battles

Although disagreements are inevitable in a relationship, not every issue has to be crucial. For your relationship to flourish in all its imperfections, you must choose your battles. Is it really worth a huge argument if you want a cat and he’s always wanted a dog?

Learn how to let go. That doesn’t mean that you must always give in and never voice your opinion. You know what’s important to you and what you can put aside as a compromise.

4. Keeping a Sense of Humor

Are you so uptight that you’ve forgotten how to laugh at yourself? Someone once said that people who can laugh at themselves will always be amused. Nobody is perfect, so you might as well realize that you’ll make mistakes, and some of them can be funny.

Can you and your partner laugh at each other? That’s not to say you should be cruel and condescending. When you can laugh at each other and do a little lighthearted teasing, you’ve created a stronger bond. You’ve both realized that mistakes happen, and it’s not the end of the world.

5. Coping With Stress

Another unavoidable fact of life is stress. The most solid relationships in the world are not free from it, and neither will yours be. Some pressure may be unavoidable, but how you handle it as a couple can make a big difference.

Chronic stress can lead to severe physical and mental health conditions down the road. It can also create a wedge between you and your partner. Find healthy ways to alleviate undue stress together and cope with everyday issues.

6. Overcoming Boredom

Throughout your relationship, it’s understandable that boredom can be a problem. There are no perfect relationships, and feelings can stagnate if everything stays the same. For a relationship to grow and flourish, learn to be spontaneous and think out of the box.

Surprise each other by saying or doing things that you usually wouldn’t do. Spend time together and have meaningful conversations about what’s important to you as a couple. Break out of your routine and find new ways of falling in love and appreciating each other.

7. Learn to Compromise

Relationships aren’t always 50-50, and you sometimes have to compromise. For example, perhaps you both cherish spending the holidays with your respective families. You each have beloved family traditions that have become part of who you are.

When the holidays come, are you both locking horns and arguing over whose family you will visit? Rather than make it a heated debate, learn how to compromise. In this example, maybe you can agree to divide the holidays between both families, so you both win.

The skies won’t always be sunny, and you may have to sacrifice for each other occasionally. When you accept this normal imperfection in your relationship, it can make you feel closer.

8. It’s Okay to Be Alone Sometimes

Those who believe in perfect relationships often think that a couple should be together every moment of the day. In fact, the opposite is usually true. If you and your partner are together too much, you can get on each other’s nerves and start bickering.

Although you are in a relationship and love one another, you haven’t lost your individuality. If so, you will only get bored and build up resentment over time. It’s healthy for a relationship to spend some time alone or to enjoy your interests.

Go ahead and join that exciting girls’ night out with your BBFs. Guys, get together with your buddies for a weekly poker tournament or a few brews at the pub. You’ll both find that perpetual togetherness does not create perfect relationships, and time apart can be beneficial.

9. Sleeping Solo Is Also Okay

Are you enthralled by the passion and never-ending lovemaking in soap operas and the movies? It seems like these people live in the bed together. Yes, most couples want to sleep in the same bed, but it won’t always end up like a steamy Hollywood love scene all the time.

Did you ever wonder how Lucy and Ricky, or Fred and Wilma had separate beds, yet they had kids? Just because you are a couple doesn’t mean you have to share a bed. It’s perfect for making love, but you may be a person who has sleep issues.

Does your partner snore like a grizzly bear or hog all the covers? Little issues like these can become big problems if you are uncomfortable and don’t get restful sleep. It doesn’t speak ill of a couple if you have your bed or even your own room, as long as your intimacy doesn’t suffer.

10. Eliminating Unreasonable Expectations

If you enter a relationship expecting to be Cinderella and Prince Charming, you’re in for a stunning reality check. You may be sabotaging your efforts in finding true love with unrealistic expectations. If you aren’t perfect, why would you expect to find a perfect mate?

Hollywood and fairytale books aren’t reliable examples for a fulfilling relationship. When you put aside the lights and cameras and make-believe royalty, you can enjoy the reality of a relationship. You don’t have to stop dreaming; you just put your dreams into the right perspective.

11. Be a Good Listener

When you are talking to each other, do you really hear what the other is saying? Life isn’t perfect, but good communication can help you both over the curveballs it often throws. Learn how to be an active listener by maintaining neutral body language and mirroring your partner’s emotions.

When you restate what your partner has said, it shows that you are listening, and it can clarify any misunderstandings. Even with your best efforts, you both can forget things and have a break in communication. These dire predicaments can be remedied with compassion, understanding, and better listening skills.

Final Thoughts on Accepting That Perfect Relationships Are Only an Illusion

Don’t allow the illusions of perfect relationships to ruin your chances of love. Remember that your Mr. or Ms. Right won’t be right all the time, and neither will you. When you both learn to accept each other’s perfect imperfections, your relationship will grow and flourish.

5 Signs You’re With A Supportive Partner (And 5 Signs You’re Not)

November 5, 2020 by Deborah Tayloe

Do you have a supportive partner or struggle to get even the smallest amount of support when you’ve had a bad day? Being in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. It puts a fire down in your soul and a spring in your step, but the only thing worse than being single is being with someone that makes you miserable.

While many emotions are involved in a loving relationship, there are also a lot of choices. You must support your significant other daily and be there for them when the chips are down. They always say that there’s plenty of fish in the sea if your current relationship doesn’t work out, but how do you know if the one you’re with is your forever partner?

Relationships take work, and it’s not going to be perfect overnight. What makes one couple last 25 years together while another can’t make it two? If you were to poll the people who have been in relationships for many decades, they would tell you that the easy choice is to walk away. You must stay regardless of what’s going on and work through it.

They would also tell you that it’s about so much more than love. Love is a great feeling, but it doesn’t pay the bills, ensure stability, and support you when everything seems wrong. Remember the classic Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

As Turner said in her famous song, love is a secondhand emotion. It’s just a tiny fraction of a relationship. More than anything, you need a supportive partner that stands beside you no matter what.

Five Signs You Have a Supportive Partner

So how do you know if you have one of those relationships that will stand the test of time? Here are five signs that you have a supportive partner and a chance at making it for the long haul.

1. A Supportive Partner Will Pay Attention to Details

Having someone who supports you makes your life better. Does your significant other look at you and notice if you’ve changed your hairstyle, got a new outfit, or are wearing a new fragrance? The devil is in the details.

If they give you enough attention that they can notice the slightest changes and compliment you on them, it’s a sign that you’ve picked a winner. The little things are often the very items that matter most. Sure, new cars, large parties, and exotic vacations are nice, but having someone tell you that you’re beautiful and cater to the little details means so much more.

At the end of the day, you want someone who deeply cares for you enough to notice the tiniest changes. Plus, it would help if you had someone so in tune with you that they can tell when something is off or different.

2. A Supportive Partner Is Always 100 Percent Honest

Does your partner run to you first when they’ve made mistakes in life, or do they hide them from you? When you have that connection that the movies are about, your partner will come running to you no matter what happens. Honesty is always a vital part of any union and your ability to communicate about things.

3. A Supportive Partner Is Your Safe Place

If you’re sick, scared, sad, mad, happy, or want to run away, your partner is your refuse and the safe place to run. Do you feel better when you’re in his or her arms? Some say that the world seems right when they get to their partner.

In a committed relationship, you should want to run to them rather than from them. There’s no need to keep secrets when you have found a safe haven in your current relationship.

4. A Supportive Partner Encourages Growth

It takes a lot of strength to encourage you to reach for the stars, even if your growth means it might sacrifice time with them. When you genuinely love and support someone, you want them to grow, flourish, and be the best they can be.

Life is better when you have someone behind you cheering you on and hoping you reach every goal you set.

5. A Supportive Partner Makes Time for You

There are 168 hours in every week. The average person in America works 38.7 hours a week, according to a study. Additionally, people usually get around 49 hours of sleep.

When you subtract your work and sleep from your availability, it gives you eighty hours to complete everything else. This time must support commutes, picking up and taking children to school and sporting events, grocery shopping, meal preparation, and house cleaning.

Yet, your supportive partner still finds time for you in the mix. Even if it’s just an hour of undivided attention in the evening, they make time for you. No chaotic work schedule or pressing matter at the office could ever be more important in their eyes than you.

Signs Your Partner Is Not the Most Supportive

Now that you’ve examined what it takes to have a supportive partner, what if your relationship didn’t make the mark? Here are some signs that you have a significant other that isn’t the most supportive of you or your endeavors.

1. They Quickly Find Fault in You

Does being in the same room always end up in an argument? Your relationship has got to the stage where everything is about finding fault with each other.

They grumble and complain about what you cook for dinner or the lack of a meal because you worked late. What you do doesn’t matter; you can no longer please your partner.

2. Your Communication Is Lackluster

You don’t call or text on breaks at work anymore. You don’t communicate hardly at all. You barely see each other; when you do, it’s while watching television or in passing.

You don’t even remember how you got to this point, but you know you don’t have good communication. If you would rather tell your parents or best friend about things going on in your life, then it’s time to reevaluate things.

3. There is No Quality Time Together

Sure, your schedules are chaotic, and you barely have enough time to finish things, but there’s no sense of urgency to spend time together. Your partner is content to be two ships that pass in the night.

It may be been years since you’ve been on an actual date or spent any quality time together. You ask yourself, how did things go downhill so quickly? You should never have to beg for love and attention from your partner.

4. There Is Verbal Abuse in Your Relationship

Arguments now take a negative turn where there is name-calling, and hurtful things said. Your partner criticizes you and calls you fat, ugly, stupid, or dumb. They never seem to pass up the opportunity to put you down.

A supportive partner would never dream of calling you a name, no matter how heated the argument becomes. Be careful; toxic relationships that have verbal abuse can often escalate to become physically violent. If your partner has such contempt for you that the insults and name-calling seem to roll off the tongue, you should know that you deserve better.

5. Physical Contact Has Diminished

Intimacy has all but dwindled between the two of you. You don’t hold hands while sitting on the couch watching a movie; you don’t even get close enough in the bed to embrace. The physical contact has all but vanished, and you have no clue why he/she doesn’t want to be with you.

You may suspect another person in his or her life. As a result, you may wonder how something so right has turned into something wrong. You are like two ships that pass at night, and you get more affection from your dog or cat.

When the physical contact has all but stopped, it’s a sign that your partner is not supportive and has checked out of the relationship.

Final Thoughts on Finding a Supportive Partner

It’s challenging to navigate even the best of relationships. You both come from two different worlds, and you’re trying to merge your lives into one. However, a supportive partner will do anything to improve your life, not worse.

You have found a treasure if you find someone who notices a new outfit, encourages you to reach for the stars, and always makes time for you. Sadly, some people don’t have such a relationship with their partner. They are starved for affection or even a compliment.

Toxic relationships can destroy you emotionally. You need and deserve to be with someone with you 100 percent. While life is hectic, and there are many things that you must accomplish in a day, you still know that every break or time off from work you get will be spent with your significant other.

Love comes easily, but support takes real work. Do you and your partner have what it takes to be one of the few that make it to forever?

Green Light Therapy Reduces Migraine Pain, According to Science

November 5, 2020 by Power of Positivity

When you suffer from migraines, you might be willing to try anything you can to stop the pain. Medication could be hit or miss for migraines and quite often the only thing you can do is wait for them to go away. If you have chronic migraines, this can be a miserable event to deal with constantly.

Luckily, researchers have come across a new therapy for migraines that shows promising results. Don’t let the name fool you – green light therapy isn’t just a fad. Research has shown that it can reduce the frequency and intensity of your headaches. Keep reading to find out how this new therapy might put an end to your suffering.

Details of the Green Light Study

The study was first published in September of 2020 in the Cephalalgia Journal of the International Headache Society. The study’s researchers and authors are all affiliated with the College of Medicine at the University of Arizona, Tucson. They are:

Dr. Laurent F. Martin, Department of Pharmacology
Dr. Amol M. Patwardhan, Department of Anesthesiology
Dr. Sejal V. Jain, Associate Professor, Neurology Joint Appointment Pediatrics
Dr. Rajesh Khanna, Professor, Department of Pharmacology
Dr. Vasudha Goel, Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Anesthesiology
Dr. Felesia N Jones-MacFarland, Department of Neurology
Dr. Mohab M Ibrahim, Director of the Chronic Pain Management Clinic; Associate Professor, Department of Anesthesiology

According to Mohab Ibrahim, MD, PhD, lead author of the study, this is the first clinical study to evaluate using green light therapy as a treatment for migraines. While there have been speculations into the effects of the therapy, this study is the first that provides conclusive evidence. It provides the basis for an exciting new treatment alternative to medications that could be ineffective or cause undesirable side effects.

The details of the green light study

The study included 29 patients. Seven of them suffered from episodic migraines while the rest suffered from chronic migraines. The difference between the two types is in the number of migraines that the patient has. Episodic migraines are classified as people who have less than 15 migraines per month, while chronic is classified as 15 or more migraines per month.

The 14-week study was split into three parts. The first 10-week long part involved the patients being subject to white light emitting diodes for one to two hours daily. The second part was a two week break from any light treatment. The third part was also 10 weeks long and involved patients being subjected to green light emitting diodes for one to two hours daily.

During the study, patients continued previously used treatments for migraines so that there were no other changes in their usual regimens. The study evaluated a primary and secondary result. The primary was the number of headaches during the treatment periods. The secondary was the intensity and frequency of headaches reported by the participants during the two week break.

The results showed that the white light treatment didn’t have any significant effect on the patients. In order to generate any specific data, reductions in headaches for episodic migraine patients and chronic migraine patients had to be combined. Overall, there was an average of a 9.3 percent reduction across all categories. For the secondary result, there also was no significant changes,

The green light treatment was exponentially more effective. In patients with episodic migraines, the number of headaches was reduced an average of 69.6 percent while patients with chronic migraines saw an average reduction of about 42.2 percent. Patients reported a better quality of life overall when evaluating the secondary result although this could not be quantified in a particular number.

What the Results Mean for Patients and the Medical Community

For decades, the scientific community had no real treatment options for people suffering from migraines except oral medications and home remedies. If oral medications didn’t help, getting Botox injections was the next step.

Botox supposedly blocks neurotransmitters from sending pain signals from your brain. However, this isn’t the desired treatment since you could end up with other problems from not feeling any pain at all. Plus, not many people are comfortable with the idea of getting a needle to their face (although it’s probably more comforting than the migraine).

Being able to treat migraines with green light therapy opens a plethora of treatment paths. There are no side effects to the treatment like there are with medications. You don’t have to worry about chemicals being injected into your body through Botox. Plus, the treatment can be done at home. In fact, at the end of the study, patients were offered the opportunity to keep their green light devices and 28 out of 29 people choose to keep them.

The most obvious benefit is that green lights are inexpensive. Almost everyone can afford to put an LED bulb in their budget, and you won’t need a prescription for it.

Types of Migraine Headaches

If you’re reading this, you probably already know what migraines are. Hopefully, you don’t suffer from them. However, there are several different types of migraines that you may not have known about. This section will cover them.

You already know that there are episodic migraines and chronic migraines and that these are classified by the number of migraines you have per month. According to the American Migraine Foundation, there are a few other types of migraine headaches. These are:

With Aura
Without Aura
No Head Pain Migraines
Hemiplegic
Retinal

Aura

When dealing with migraines, aura refers to sensory sensations that can accompany migraines. This can be in the form of visual or physical disturbances or speech problems. Sometimes aura happens a few minutes before migraines begin, so people think of the aura as a warning sign of an impending migraine.

Aura usually doesn’t last as long as the migraine. Typically, aura lasts less than an hour. The disturbances aren’t permanent, although they can be debilitating for the duration of the aura. Only around 30 percent of people who suffer from migraines experience aura.

Migraines with No Head Pain

It’s possible to have an aura without the head pain. This may sound like a minor discomfort, but it’s still very unpleasant. This type of migraine can also be called a silent migraine or an acephalgic migraine.

With this type of migraine, you would experience all the symptoms of aura. Unfortunately, they would still be as debilitating as an aura with head pain. Many people who have no head pain migraines will experience other types of migraines also.

Hemiplegic Migraines

This type of migraine mimics a stroke. You may have weakness on one side of your body and a “pins and needles” feeling on that side. It may also be accompanied by visual aura disturbances. This type of migraine may or may not cause head pain.

Retinal Migraine

As you can tell from the name, this involves the eyes. This type of migraine can cause a loss of vision in one eye. The loss of vision isn’t permanent but can last from a minute to several months. Not a lot is known about retinal migraines, but doctors believe it can be a symptom of some other serious underlying cause.

Migraine Statistics

Many more women have migraines than men. According to the Association of American Medical Colleges, one in five women suffer from migraines instead of one in 16 men. The reason for this is that hormone fluctuation is a major trigger for migraines.

During childhood, boys have more migraines than girls. However, when girls’ menstrual periods start, the risk of getting a migraine becomes many times higher than that of boys. Unfortunately, migraines can start during childhood. Statistics show that one in 11 kids suffer from migraines.

Migraine Treatments

Traditional migraine treatments were mentioned above. They include medications and Botox injections. Medication is the most used treatment for migraines. However, it’s not always effective. Common medications used for migraines include:

Pain relievers
Triptans
Dihydroergotamines
Lasmiditan (Reyvow)
Ubrogepant (Ubrelvy)
Opioids

The biggest problem with medication is that the side effects can be just as serious, or worse than migraines. They can make people feel ill and some of them are addictive. Plus, many of them can’t be taken long-term so they aren’t an effective treatment for managing chronic migraines. This is why the green light therapy study is so exciting – it doesn’t have any of these problems.

Final Thoughts on the Green Light Study and Migraines

Migraines are a big problem all around the world, so those who deal with them will welcome any new treatment that can prove effective. The results of the green light study are phenomenal and can provide relief to people without breaking their wallets. On top of that, they don’t need to see a doctor or to fill a prescription.

This was the first study of its kind. More studies will be needed to verify the results, but there were no side effects in any of the participants. That means if you suffer from migraines, you may want to find a green LED bulb and try the treatment at home. You don’t have anything to lose except for some head pain. Besides, you’ll gain a better quality of life in the process.

15 Quotes to Help You Overcome Insecurity

November 5, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Overcoming insecurity can be difficult, but it is not impossible. When you can overcome it, you will open up so many new opportunities for yourself. All of the dreams you ever had for yourself can come true.

If you don’t overcome the insecurity, it will hold you back in life, instead. You have to remember that you are great and you can do anything you set your mind to. If you can change your thought process and engage in positive self-talk, you will quickly see a difference.

Being insecure often stems from comparing yourself to others. This is one thing you have to learn not to do if you want to overcome your feelings.

There are many other things you can do to overcome the insecurities you are experiencing. These quotes will help you overcome because you’ll get tips and advice for getting to that point. Plus, realizing that everyone experiences these feelings will help, too.

Quotes to Help You Overcome Insecurity

1. “Confidence is not, ‘They’ll like me.’ Confidence is, ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.'” – Christina Grimmie

To be confident, you shouldn’t think in terms of whether someone will like you or not. Instead, remind yourself that you’ll be fine if someone doesn’t like you. As long as you like yourself and are confident with who you are, you’ll overcome any insecurities.

2. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

Don’t be afraid to be yourself and to voice your opinion. The people who belong in your life won’t mind, and those who have an issue don’t belong. Once you can weed these people out, you’ll be able to overcome any insecurity.

3. “If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” – Timothy Ferriss

Not one person can truthfully say that they have never felt insecure. Everyone has insecurities. They may not show them as much as you do.

Don’t underestimate yourself because everyone else seems confident, because they are likely just as insecure. Instead, tell yourself that you are just as capable as everyone else. If you can do this, you can overcome and reach your goals.

4. “Once you embrace your value, talents, and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.” – Rob Liano

Make a list of all your strengths and talents. Re-read this list anytime you feel insecure. It will help you remember all the great things about yourself, which can minimize the effect others’ words have.

5. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you can stay true to yourself despite any attempts to change you, you’ve accomplished something great. Don’t change who you are just because someone else wants you to. When you do this, it’ll cause intense insecurities, whereas staying true to yourself will allow you to feel secure.

6. “When you stop living your life based on what others think of, your real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” – Shannon Alder

You can’t accept yourself if you are always worried about the opinion of others. Stop thinking about their opinion and focus only on what you think is right and what you enjoy. Then, you will be able to accept who you are and stop feeling insecure.

7. “Become your own soulmate. Then you’ll always have someone watching your back, and you’ll always have someone who loves you.” – Rebecca O’Donnell

If you love yourself and view yourself as your soulmate, you will never have to worry about pleasing anyone else. You will love yourself enough that it won’t matter what anyone else thinks or does. This will allow you always to feel confident, secure, and loved.

8. “The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.” – Ralph Charell

Overcoming insecurity begins with your self-thoughts. If you have negative self-thoughts and self-talk, you will feel poor, unloved, unhappy, unattractive, and weak. On the other hand, positive self-talk will help you feel rich in spirit, loved, happy, attractive, and powerful.

9. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

If self-criticism hasn’t helped you so far, it won’t start helping anytime soon. Instead, try to change your thought process and focus on positivity. This change could be all you need to overcome these negative feelings that are holding you back.

10. “Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don’t like them.” – Stacy London

If you let fear and insecurity hold you back, you won’t achieve all the possible things. You have to believe in yourself and believe in your capabilities to get where you want to be. Focus on what you love and be kind to others, as London explains, and you’ll get farther.

11. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it, and eventually, the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher

Even if you are afraid, keep trying and keep moving forward in life. Staying active is key, even in the face of fear and insecure feelings. Start behaving as if you are confident, and eventually, you will become confident.

12. “Insecurity is being scared of your authentic self. It is the belief that your true, authentic self is not as magnificent as it actually is. Let go of that insecurity and do something totally gutsy and feel the relief in that.” – Amy Leigh Mercree

Don’t be afraid of who you truly are, and don’t downplay your magnificence. Do something you’ve never done before so that you can see how amazing you are. The feelings this act will give you will be a relief and will help you overcome the insecurities.

13. “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

What you tell yourself you are, you will become. If you keep telling yourself that you can’t do something, you won’t be able to do it. When you believe in yourself, however, you can do anything you set your mind to.

You may not start with the ability to get something done, but you will develop the skills and mindset needed. With a can-do mindset, you will be able to learn anything and achieve whatever you want.

14. “I used to tell myself I had to be perfect, and then things would fall into place, but only now do I realize that is far from the case. I am imperfectly perfect. I’m accepting all my flaws. I’m no longer letting my insecurities put my life on pause.” – Monica Carolan

Being perfect will never make everything be as you want it. This is because, no matter what, you can never be completely perfect. Striving to be perfect will only lead to further insecure feelings and unhappiness.

When you can accept this and accept your flaws, you’ll be able to accomplish more. You will no longer feel held back by imperfection. Once this realization comes, you’ll notice a huge change in your life.

15. “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steven Furtick

You can’t compare yourself to anyone else because other people choose what they show, as Furtick explains. They won’t put their imperfections out here for everyone to see. So, when you compare yourself to what others are showing, it is a misguided comparison.

Stop comparing yourself to others, and then you can overcome these insecure feelings. Remember that comparing yourself to others is unfair since they are choosing what to share. Embrace your life as it is and avoid comparison.

Final Thoughts on Quotes to Help You Overcome Insecurity

Overcoming insecurity is a process that takes work and willpower. However, it is completely possible, and once you do it, you can do anything you set your mind to.

Overcoming your insecurities is the key to achieving all of your goals in life. You will be able to do anything and learn anything, and you’ll feel happy as you go through it. Remember these quotes the next time you are struggling to remember what to focus your thoughts on.

Research Explains the Science Behind Skipping Breakfast to Lose Weight

November 5, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

For many years, the belief has been that skipping breakfast is detrimental to your health and weight loss. It turns out, however, that the opposite can be true. Not eating breakfast can help you lose weight if you do it correctly.

People who skip breakfast consume around 260 fewer calories every day. This can result in losing a couple of pounds each month, making a dramatic difference. You’ll surely reach your weight loss goals if you pair it with other healthy options.

Other theories about skipping breakfast included that skipping it may deplete energy levels and productivity. These theories have been disproven, as well, as research now shows there is no correlation between breakfast and energy levels.

After being told for most (or all) of your life that skipping breakfast can cause weight gain, this new information may be hard to believe. Luckily, studies offer valuable information regarding how not eating breakfast can help you lose weight.

The Science Behind Skipping Breakfast to Lose Weight

Not eating breakfast has many health benefits, and weight loss is big. One reason for this is intermittent fasting, which is when you go without food for 16-18 hours. By skipping breakfast, you will save calories for later in the day and consume fewer calories overall.

Plus, there are additional benefits to intermittent fasting that aid in weight loss. These benefits include an increase in human growth hormone or HGH. This hormone helps with weight loss because it helps with losing fat and gaining muscle.

Another benefit is that skipping breakfast also leads to more stable insulin levels. It improves insulin resistance, allowing your body to burn fat without exercising. During intermittent fasting, the neurotransmitter and stress hormone norepinephrine causes cells to break down more fat.

Not eating breakfast also helps with hunger suppression and appetite control. Additionally, many breakfast foods contain high amounts of sugar, even if they are marketed as healthy. For this reason, you will experience fewer cravings throughout the day and significantly fewer sugary ones.

It was once believed that skipping breakfast would slow your metabolism, but this is not the case. Instead, there is no difference in the metabolism of someone who eats breakfast and someone who does not. With this being the case, it can no longer be said that not eating breakfast could cause weight gain.

This was all discovered through a series of thirteen randomized studies of people from different countries. In all instances, it was found that those who eat breakfast consume more calories each day than those who skip it.

All countries included in this study were high-income so the comparisons would be fair. Furthermore, all participants’ breakfast content had to follow guidelines, including the timeframe in which it was eaten in.

After seven weeks, the results of the study were clear. Whether the participant was overweight or of normal weight, those who ate breakfast gained more than one pound. Likewise, the non-breakfast group lost weight during the trial as they consumed fewer calories overall.

However, This does not mean everyone should skip breakfast to lose weight. You should not skip breakfast if you do not think you can get all of your essential nutrients in your later snacks and meals.

The Nutrition You Might Miss if Skipping Breakfast

The National Institutes of Health published a study that shows people who skip breakfast tend to miss out on valuable nutrients and vitamins. These nutrients and vitamins include:

vitamin D
calcium
iron
magnesium
Vitamin A
Phosphorous
Zinc

When these nutrients are deficient, you could experience insomnia, depression and be more susceptible to infection. So, if you choose to skip breakfast, be aware that you have to consume more nutrients later in the day.

Read these four tips for a more productive morning.

So, Should You Skip Breakfast?

This answer depends solely on your lifestyle and health habits. As stated before, you should not skip breakfast if you do not think you can make up the nutrients in your later meals. On the other hand, if you are confident you will make up the difference, it may be an option.

Pay attention to the snacks you choose later, too, after you have skipped breakfast. If the snacks you are choosing are healthy, that is perfect. It is a good indicator that skipping breakfast is the right option for you.

However, if you choose anything lacking protein or other nutrients, your snack may indicate that you should eat breakfast. This signifies that you won’t make up the nutrients and’ll likely crave sugar often throughout the day.

If you are diabetic, hypoglycemic, or pregnant, you should eat breakfast daily. It is vital for your glucose levels and should not be skipped.

A good rule to follow is if you are hungry in the morning, you should eat breakfast. If you are not hungry, you can skip it.

Other Things to Consider

When you skip breakfast to lose weight, you have to remember that the rest of the day counts, too. You have to consider portion control at meals and choose nutrient-rich snacks. If you skip breakfast but then indulge in unhealthy junk food for the rest of the day, it will not work.

Plus, you must ensure your lunches and dinners are relatively healthy. This is so you can make sure you make up for the nutrients lost in the morning. However, you can increase your portion sizes, so that helps make up for much of it.

Five More Surprising Benefits of Skipping Breakfast

Surprisingly, weight loss is not the only benefit of not eating breakfast. There are many other benefits, as well. These benefits include:

anti-aging hormone increases
boost in mental alertness and ability to focus
more energy
you will be able to eat larger lunches or dinners
treats will be easier to allow into your diet

Anti-Aging Properties

Aside from anti-aging hormones increasing when you skip breakfast, there are other anti-aging properties. This includes a process of cellular cleansing, which helps eliminate dead or damaged cells and the products they leave behind. Those damaged cells cause aging and diseases related to aging to set in more quickly.

Boost in Mental Alertness and Ability to Focus

Believe it or not, it takes quite a bit of attention from your body to digest food. By forgoing breakfast, you are allowing your mind to focus on mental and creative processes.

An Increase in Energy Levels

There are a couple of reasons that skipping breakfast leads to an increase in energy levels. The first reason is that many breakfast foods contain high amounts of sugar and carbs.

Even foods that are portrayed as healthy breakfast options are often not entirely healthy. Eating these foods may increase energy initially, but an energy crash will happen shortly after. This will leave you feeling even more tired than if you had skipped breakfast.

The other reason that not eating breakfast increases energy levels is because it burns stored body fat. It works much better when body fat is used instead of sugar for an energy increase. It helps keep your energy level stable all day without the usual crash that follows a sugary breakfast.

Ability to Eat a Larger Lunch or Dinner

While you still won’t want to overeat, you can eat a bigger meal later. You will be able to increase your portion size to make up for any lost nutrients. Plus, if your favorite dinner is on the menu, you won’t have to feel bad for going back for seconds.

Room for Treats

Like with eating a larger meal later in the day, not eating breakfast allows room for treats. You won’t want to indulge all the time, but it is wonderful occasionally. If you skip breakfast, a treat is less likely to put you over your calorie goal.

If You Can Not Skip Breakfast

Some people cannot skip breakfast. Whatever the reason for this, this method of weight loss is not for everyone. If that is the case, there are other options.

Breakfast should be about healthy foods and giving your body a healthy start. This means you should not choose foods with high amounts of sugar. Pancakes smothered with syrup are out.

You should also try to avoid high amounts of carbs. Instead, choose healthy options such as eggs, avocado, whole grain toast, nuts, and fruits. If you do this, you will still experience the weight loss benefits of skipping breakfast.

Final Thoughts on Understanding the Science Behind Skipping Breakfast to Lose Weight

So, contrary to long-term belief, skipping breakfast can help you lose weight. As long as you get all of your essential vitamins and nutrients, you will experience the benefits. The choice is entirely up to you, and it does not matter if you switch it up, either.

If you like breakfast, go for it. Just make sure to choose healthy options so that you can still lose weight if you want to. Healthy options will also help you later in the day.

However, if you want to try skipping breakfast, you can experience weight loss and many other benefits. The choice is up to you. Now that it is known, breakfast is optional when it comes to your health.

Sociology Explains Why Ghosting Happens So Much

November 5, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever met some that were like none other, and you thought he could be the one? At first, you were together all the time and were in constant communication, and then he vanished – ghosting you. He stopped texting, calling, or answering any of your messages.

All sorts of things may have been spinning in your mind, worrying that he was in a car accident or maybe he was sick. A few days later, you discover a social media post with a picture of him partying with another lady. Unfortunately, you’ve been ghosted.

What is Ghosting?

This modern relationship has nothing to do with disembodied spirits, but it’s an unusual disappearing act. When people ghost one another, it means that they’ve decided to end the relationship and any communication without warning. Not only do they stop communicating, but they don’t answer any of the snubbed partner’s communication.

It’s as if the person has vanished into thin air. While the term is novel, disappearing abruptly from relationships is nothing new. Parents have abandoned children, and spouses have walked out on their partners since the beginning. Unhappy employees often ghost their employers by merely never returning to the job.

Sometimes, people will outgrow a friendship and will fade away from others’ lives. It doesn’t necessarily mean there were feelings involved. Some people would rather ghost another person as an easy detachment.

The Aftermath of a Vanishing Act

If someone has ever ghosted you, you know how confused, angry, and hurt it made you feel. Why would someone spend so much time with you and make you feel special only to go AWOL without a word?

Understandably, you would think something was wrong with you, or you offended him. When a person suddenly vanishes from your life, you feel dismissed and abandoned. It’s as if you’ve been discarded like yesterday’s newspaper.

Since you’ve no idea what went wrong in the relationship, you have no closure, and it can’t be an emotional learning curve. Instead, you are left with a plethora of painful emotions like low self-esteem and self-blame. It can lead to detrimental mental issues like anxiety and depression. A ghosting experience can also contribute to relationship issues in the future.

As the phantom partner moves on with his life, he leaves the ghosted partner with nothing but questions, doubts, and hurt. It can erode the other person’s trust and can cause mental and emotional issues for a lifetime. Why would a person do this to someone else?

Why Do People Ghost?

Few people would disagree that ghosting others is emotionally cruel and perhaps cowardly. You might argue that if somebody acted like he cared for you then disappeared without a word, he didn’t care for you in the first place. That could be true, or perhaps he became overwhelmed with the relationship’s reality and couldn’t face you.

People who fade from your heart may do so for different reasons. Even though ghosting is a thoughtless action, sometimes good people do bad things. Here are some common reasons someone may evaporate into a painful memory.

1. Avoiding Confrontation

As the classic song says, breaking up is hard to do. Nobody wants to look someone in the eye and confess that the relationship isn’t working anymore. The possible emotional warfare may be too much for him to handle. By avoiding confrontation, the ghost is thinking more of his feelings than of yours.

2. Past Relationship Issues

It’s not uncommon for a person who’s been ghosted to become a ghost in future relationships. The painful experience can cause trust issues, so he disappears before the other person can. It can also be a lack of self-esteem and patience.

3. Serial Ghosting

Let’s face it; some people are just players, so they have more ghosting experience than Casper. These spooks usually haunt the single bars and chat rooms for a hookup. They connect with someone and may take the relationship beyond a one-night affair.

They know how to wine, dine, and say sweet nothings in a partner’s ear. “Nobody’s ever made me feel this way,” or “I can’t live one moment without you.” Do these cheesy lines sound familiar? They are typical clichés that players use to get your interest.

It won’t take long for the infatuated love interest to discover that the player can live without her. Since players can’t be faithful to anyone for long, he vanishes without a clue. Soon, this serial ghoster is floating temporarily into another unsuspecting life.

4. Emotional Immaturity

Even when two people are in love, a healthy relationship requires time and effort. For some, this emotional obligation is too much. They may be afraid of committing for a lifetime, with all the ups and downs it entails. Rather than to risk it all for love, they get cold feet and disappear without warning.

Surviving a Ghosted Relationship

Never ignore these ten hidden signs someone is suffering from mental abuse.

Just about everyone you talk to has experienced a ghosting relationship at one point in their lives. Not only does this experience erode your self-esteem, but it isn’t very comfortable to explain it to family and friends. Short-lived relationships that are ghosted sting but aren’t nearly as devastating as one that has lasted for a while.

If a lover or a long-time friend has ghosted you, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. The stealthy disappearance may have been a simple detachment for him, but you’re left with the aftermath of emotion. You don’t know if you want to cry or break a few dinner plates in a rage.

How do you pick up the pieces and return to life as it was? A ghosted relationship is a loss that will take you down the path of grieving. Here are some gentle tips for coping after you’ve dated a ghost.

1. Put the Blame Where It Belongs

It’s human nature to blame yourself when someone vanishes from your life. You long for an explanation and wonder what you did to cause it. Instead of beating yourself up over someone who couldn’t have the courage and decency to confront you, realize that you aren’t to blame.

To avoid emotional warfare and confrontation, he took the easy way out and walked away without a word. So, it’s his problem and not yours. As you go through the stages of grief, you’ll soon realize that he is the one missing out, not you.

2. Phone a Friend

When your heart is broken, it’s a blessing to have a close friend or loved one at your side. Some have termed it the “gift of presence.” They aren’t offering advice or trying to cheer you up. Instead, these particular people are there to listen and hold your hand.

3. Take a Break

After you’ve been ghosted, the last thing you need is to follow his social media pages that are suddenly devoid of your pictures. Watching him spooking up to somebody else isn’t going to help your emotional well-being. Instead, give yourself a little break from social media and dating sites to give yourself time to heal.

Instead, occupy your time with family and friends who are there and love you. Maybe you could take up a new hobby or go somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. It’s much better than ruminating on the phantom lover who disrespected you.

4. Practice Journaling

Maybe there are things in your heart that you don’t want to share with others. Consider writing your thoughts in a journal. It may help write your ghost a letter and explain all the hurt and humiliation he has caused, then burn it.

5. Try Meditation

Meditation is an ideal way of relaxing your mind and practicing self-compassion. Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed and sit or lie with your eyes closed. Be patient with yourself, acknowledge any thoughts and emotions, and kindly let them go.

Even if you can meditate for a few minutes each day, it can help you focus on healing and coping. While meditating, practice mindful breathing and positive affirmation. Learn to be your best friend when you need it the most.

6. Seek Professional Help

It isn’t a sign of shame or weakness to ask for professional help when needed. After you’ve been ghosted, you may have many unanswered questions and emotional upheaval. A qualified mental health provider can be a compassionate ear and offer coping skills and other helpful tools for your mental well-being.

If you allow these unresolved issues and feelings to fester, it can affect you physically, mentally, and spiritually in the long run. Counseling may help you understand yourself better and put the blame where it belongs: on the ghost.

Final Thoughts: You Can Learn a Lesson from a Ghosting Incident

It’s a fact of life that people will frequently come and go in your lifetime. Fortunately, the ones that love you and matter will stay. Those who vanish like a ghost in the mist can remain in the past as you look forward to a brighter future without their ongoing emotional neglect.

10 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Might Betray You

November 5, 2020 by Power of Positivity

The toxicity of betrayal is something that can take months or even years to get over. If only there were a way to protect you from these devastating blows. Before you can be betrayed, you must have a relationship with someone that you trust. It’s possible to be deceived by several people, which includes:

Parents
Children
Siblings
Coworkers
Employers
Employees
Best Friends
Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Extended Family Members
Pastors and Church Officials

Thankfully, some pretty apparent signs show you that the relationship is going sour. So you can pull away rather than staying and getting hurt worse.

Signs That Someone Might Betray You

Whether it’s a friend or lover, mental health professionals suggest that you need to remove this toxic person from your life for good. Here are ten signs that you’re about to be betrayed.

1. They Act Suspicious

The first sign that something is off is a person’s behavior. If it’s a partner that you share a home with, then they may pull away from you. They won’t come home for dinner, and they start to carry on a life outside of the one with you.

If it’s an employee or coworker, they may ignore you at work or in the breakroom. They may go out to eat with someone else when they usually went out with you. This person may refuse to speak to you when you pass in the hallway.

The little things that you always did to keep your friendship alive now are just a faded memory. If you ask them if anything is wrong, they will always say things are okay. However, remember that actions always speak louder than words.

2. Their Niceness Drips Like Honey

Have you ever seen someone act too nice? Even if this person is already rather friendly, someone that is overly nice is fake. If they’re trying to scam you or take advantage of your kindness, then they may be so sweet that their words are dripping like honey.

A manipulative person tries to get on the right side of the person they want to betray. If they start feeding you a line of compliments and trying to get too friendly, then you should take that as a sign that they’re up to something.

3. They Act Out of Character

You’ve become accustomed to how this person acts, but they certainly are not acting like themselves. You might notice subtle signs that something is amiss, but they aren’t enough to really send up any red flags yet.

They may become grouchy and yell a lot, or they may seem a million miles away. Watch for any personality changes as these can be forth-telling.

4. They Block You from Their Social Media

You notice that you do not see their posts on social media. You go to their page only to find out that they’ve unfriended you. There were no words exchanged and nothing that would indicate an issue, yet they blocked you from their social media accounts.

They want to hide something from you, but you have no idea what you could have done to deserve to be betrayed. You have no clue how long you’ve been blocked from their media walls, but it stings.

5. They Change Passwords on Their Accounts

If you share a home with this person as a lover or friend, you may notice that passwords are suddenly changed. The Netflix or Hulu accounts, not to mention the WIFI passwords, are suddenly not the same. They are trying to shut you out of their life, and the easiest way to do that is to start maintaining some secrecy.

6. Guarding Their Phone and Secretly Texting

When a lover is about to betray you, the easiest way to do this is to guard their phone with their life. If they always left it casually on the coffee tables or counters, now they will take it everywhere they go.

They probably have changed or added a protective password to the phone to keep you from seeing their texts. Additionally, they may text in secret or go into the other room to take phone calls. Even a friend may seem to conduct private business on the phone in the other room when you’re around.

When people start hiding things on their phone, you can almost guess it’s something to do with you or something you cannot know about.

7. Finding Out Their Backstabbing You with Other Friends

One of the most defining ways to know that you’re being betrayed is when another person tells you. No one wants to know that their friend or lover is saying bad things about them.

When stuff comes back through the grapevine, you can count on at least some of it is true. Remember, people tend to add their own spin and twist to the tale, but the premise is still the same; this person is talking about you to others.

8. They Lie to You

A once truthful person that you could count on with your life is now feeding you a line of bull. You’ve caught them in several lies by now, and each one is trying to cover another story. What is going on with this person that you once trusted?

Psychologists state that these fibs can be blatantly untrue, or they might be lies of omission.

If a spouse is lying about their whereabouts, money spent, and other essential details, they may be about to cheat or have already. When lovers have an affair, they aren’t always sure they want to break things off with you. They want to give the affair time to see if things work out, especially if there are children involved in the mix.

Since the foundation of any relationship is based on truth, and honestly, it’s safe to say that you will know all about the betrayal soon. It’s a toxic person that feeds their friend, coworker, or lover nothing but lies.

9. They Exclude You from Their Plans

There’s nothing worse than feeling excluded or like you don’t belong. Remember when they were picking teams in gym class for dodge ball, and you were one of the last ones on the line? Nothing is worse than that feeling of being singled out, except when you’re older and find yourself in the same predicament.

It sends a loud and clear message when someone starts excluding you from drinks after work, Sunday night poker games, and general conversations around the water cooler. They may become silent as you pass by, or they may try to keep things from you. There are always ways to find out that you’ve been excluded, even if it’s just from social media posts.

10. They Begin to Demean, Bully or Belittle You

This person usually always has nice things to say to you, now they have become quite verbally abusive. The passive-aggressive person will try to pick a fight with you to give them a reason to leave or end the relationship.

They may harbor some guilt about the disservice they are doing to you, so the only way they know how to get out of this mess is by turning the blame around.

If they are successful, then their true misdeeds won’t be brought to light. These behaviors are also indicative of narcissistic personality disorder. Abuse is abuse, whether verbal, physical, or emotional, and you don’t have to take it!

Getting Over Being Betrayed by Someone You Trusted

The first thing that you may feel like doing after you’ve been betrayed is to retaliate. However, it’s not a good idea to stoop to their level. Remember that hurting people hurts people. Something is not right on the inside that they would do such a thing to hurt you.

• Time of Reflection

Second, you need a period of introspection. Stop asking yourself why this would happen to you and realize that the problem had more to do with them than you. If your relative stole money and started using drugs again, while it hurt you, it’s not about you.

They are feeding an addiction, and it’s stronger than anything they’ve had to deal with in their life. It makes them forget family, friends, and all sense of obligation to feed the demons they carry.

• Confront the Person

Third, you must use some guts and determination and find a way to mend fences. This step is more about your healing than theirs. Confront the person and tell them that you forgive them, even if they don’t offer an apology to you. It would help if you had the closure so that you can move on.

• Learn a Lesson and Move On

Lastly, it’s time for you to move on. Once you’ve made peace, had a brief time to grieve the relationship, and had your time of introspection, you’re ready to move past the event. Some people try to remain civil or friendly with this person, which is always lovely.

However, it would help if you remembered what they’ve done to you and never allow yourself to be put in that position again. If you’ve been burnt once, the chances of you being burnt again are incredibly high.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs Someone Might Betray Your Trust

You don’t want ever to allow yourself to experience the sting of betrayal again. However, with each relationship comes lessons you’ve learned. These experiences will help you in the future.

The pain of being betrayed is not one that heals quickly, but you can get over it with time and reflection.

10 Signs You’re Sharing TMI (and How to Stop)

November 5, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

Sometimes people share TMI, and sometimes that person might be you. You may not even recognize that you are sharing too much, but there are signs you can look for. Knowing the signs is the first step to addressing the issue, and it’s easier to stop than you think.

Those who share too much information often tell others things that would have been better left unsaid. When you share too much, it is a sign of unhealthy emotional boundaries and can be bad for your relationships. While some of your friends might love it, most will not, and strangers will find it awkward.

Luckily, after reading these signs of sharing TMI, you can recognize if you are guilty of this. Plus, you will learn how to stop oversharing.

Signs You’re Sharing TMI (and How to Stop Oversharing)

Do you think you might be sharing too much information? Here are a few signs–and tips on how to stop.

1. You Overshare with People You Just Met

Before you share intimate details of your life with someone, you should learn if you can trust them or not. If you share these details before establishing trust, you are likely oversharing. Even if you get good vibes from the person, it’s not wise to share information quickly.

Not only can oversharing be risky because of the trust aspect, but it can also stop your new relationship. If you share TMI with a new person in your life, it might make them avoid you in the future. It will cause them to feel awkward around you, which will result in the relationship not going anywhere.

2. You Stop Hearing from Your Friends as Often, and No One Tells You Anything Anymore

If your friends know that you overshare, they will stop telling you things about their life. They will be worried that you will tell their information to others. Plus, if you constantly bombard them with your problems, it can cause negativity they won’t want to experience every time.

If you notice that your friends don’t reach out as often and cut calls short, it’s a good sign you are oversharing. Reel it in if you get this feeling, and you might find that they want to talk again.

Also, please pay attention to how much you know about them compared to how much they know about you. If they know much more about you, then it’s another sign you should reel it in.

Sometimes oversharing can push your friends away because they’re worried about what you will post on social media. While social media oversharing is a whole other topic, it is worth mentioning here, as well. If your friends worry that you’ll post unflattering pictures or share their location, they may not invite you places anymore.

3. You Impulsively Post on Social Media

Social media is probably the place it’s easiest to overshare stories and information. It’s easy to type a post in the heat of a moment and share private information with hundreds of people. This results in further negative consequences, judgment, and painful reactions from others.

If you find yourself posting every detail of your life, you might be guilty of this. You may post mundane things like what you are eating or personal things like feuds with your family. When this is the case, and you find yourself sharing everything, you should try to cut back.

Certain topics should be off-limits to the majority of your social media friends list. These topics include the following:

difficulties getting pregnant
the details of a pending divorce
negativity after a job loss
negative comments about your job or employer
details of a feud with a friend or family member
information about your romantic relationship

Keep in mind that posting about your job or certain activities in your life can cost you your career. Likewise, posting information about personal feuds could cause you to lose that relationship forever. Not everyone wants personal details on the internet for everyone to read.

To combat this issue, give yourself time to reflect and assess the situation before posting about it. You can also make a strict rule for yourself that you can’t post about certain topics at all. Or, if you can’t help but post, change your settings so only your closest friends can see these posts.

4. You Hate Silence and Are Always Trying to Fill It

If silence is awkward for you or you are always looking to fill a silence, you might be oversharing. Oftentimes, this will result in you telling a personal story about yourself. The other person would have probably rather continued the silence, however.

5. You Always Try to Get People to Take Your Side

When you disagree with someone, you shouldn’t try to bring other people into it. If you do, you are probably oversharing with them. This can leave your friends in uncomfortable situations as they won’t want to pick sides or involve themselves at all.

This is especially true if it is a situation involving a mutual friend. If they feel like you are forcing them to choose sides, they’ll likely shut you out.

When it is a family conflict you try to go to them about, it causes other discomforts. They might be worried that whatever they say will be used against them when you are no longer angry. Or, they might not want to hear about it or get involved.

Don’t leave your friend in an uncomfortable position because you need to vent. If the disagreement is that serious, see a professional instead.

6. You Need Someone Else’s Opinion on Everything

If you can’t decide without someone else weighing in, you probably share too much. When you are trying on clothes and have to send every outfit to your friend, you should stop. Learn to make decisions on your own because you are the only person the decisions affect anyway.

This is probably the easiest form of oversharing to stop. Quit sending messages out to everyone when you need to make a decision. Instead, make it on your own and go about your day.

7. You Sometimes Forget to Consider the Privacy of Others

It was mentioned before that your friends might not want their photos or location shared online. The same goes for other parts of their lives, as well, and they may not want them shared at all.

When you tell someone else about a conversation you had with the friend, this may even make them uncomfortable. Many people don’t want anyone talking about them when they aren’t present, which involves even basic information. It’s a desire that is understandable since there is no reason for strangers (or acquaintances) to know their life details.

8. Everyone Knows the Details of Your Romantic Relationship

If your friends and family members know all the details of your relationship, it’s a key sign that you are sharing TMI. Even worse, however, is when everyone on your social media friends list knows the details. This is true whether you are sharing happy, loving information or if it’s negative and dramatic.

Those are details you should keep to yourself. First, because it is no one else’s business, especially not random people online. You have to keep in mind that your significant other may feel uncomfortable about it, as well.

Secondly, if you tell your family and friends every time you are annoyed or mad, they may negatively begin viewing your partner. This will only cause further problems if you decide to stay in or return to that relationship.

9. You Share Information Without Considering the Other Person’s Feelings

If you constantly share information with a friend about your newborn baby, this may seem fine to you. However, if that friend is struggling to become pregnant, this may be considered oversharing and insensitive. While you may mean no harm, it can still hurt them, and they’ll likely be wishing you would stop talking.

This is true for all situations. Consider what the other person is going through or what their experiences have been before you speak. Don’t share a story that may upset them or make them uncomfortable.

You have to consider the other person’s feelings even if they wouldn’t become emotionally upset by your sharing, too, however. Friends who don’t have children or aren’t married may not always enjoy hearing your parenting or marriage stories. While they may love to hear it sometimes, if that’s all you talk about, you’re probably oversharing.

10. No Topic is Off Limits, and You Never Consider the Location

If you discuss any topic, including your daily diet, your political views, or your childhood traumas, you should reel it in. Most people don’t want to know all of that, and they may start tuning you out.

The location you are in when you share matters, too. Sharing private information at work is not only unprofessional, but it can have consequences, too. Plus, it can make your co-workers uncomfortable.

Unless you spend quality time outside of work with someone, avoid telling them anything personal. Then, limit the sharing to a time when you are together off the clock.

Final Thoughts on Signs You’re Sharing TMI (and How to Stop)

Confiding in your best friends is fine and even encouraged, but sharing TMI is not as acceptable. You have to make sure you aren’t overloading them with your negativity and your problems. Plus, you have to make sure you aren’t divulging information that someone else wouldn’t want you to.

The simple solution is to be mindful of what you share with others and what you post on social media. Always ask before you share things on social media, and always give yourself time to reflect before posting. As you can see, once you know that sharing TMI is a problem, it’s easy to find the solution.

Forgiveness Isn’t Always the Best Option

November 5, 2020 by Sarah Barkley

When you’ve been hurt, you may feel pressure to offer forgiveness to the person who wronged you. Whether that pressure comes from society, family, or within, it can be hard to ignore it. Sometimes, though, forgiving isn’t the best option.

This may come as a shock because you mostly hear that forgiveness is essential. You will hear that it is the only way to heal and move on, but this isn’t always true.

You are not dwelling on the past or harboring negative emotions by not forgiving someone. Instead, you are staying true to yourself. No matter what anyone tells you, you do not have to forgive someone who has wronged you.

Sometimes, not only is forgiveness not the best option; it is even the worst option. However, it is up to you to decide if you will forgive or not. Consider the situation and your other options, and then decide that will be best for you.

Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always the Best

Here are a few signs that you’re not ready to forgive yet.

You Have to Analyze

Some people may tell you that you are overthinking, but you need to think about it in traumatic situations. You have to analyze what has been done to you and how that makes you feel. Plus, you have to think about how you will feel about it in the future.

You Have to Go Through the Healing Process

There is a healing process that you have to go through before you can truly process the situation. There is nothing wrong with going through these steps, and there is no time limit on it.

The process is different for everyone, and forgiveness may not be one of the steps for you. It is possible to heal without forgiving.

It’s Not the Right Time

As stated before, the healing process takes time. Forgiveness may come eventually, but you can’t rush it, and you can’t guarantee it. If you allow yourself the needed time, you will feel empowered, worthy, and smarter than ever.

It Can Diminish Your Self-Respect

When you allow yourself to feel and express anger, you will be empowered. You will be more likely to stand up for yourself, and your self-esteem will rise. On the other hand, forgiving too easily can diminish your sense of self-respect.

It May Cause You to Suppress Your Anger

Suppressed anger may sound easier to deal with, but this isn’t the case. When you suppress your anger, it causes anger to become internalized. It causes negative self-talk, depression, relationship problems, high blood pressure, and other serious health issues.

Forgiving too Easily Makes it More Likely to Happen Again.

When you forgive too easily, it makes it more likely that the offender will hurt you again. If they get away with it and you let it slide, they’ll think that their behavior is okay. The more often you forgive, the more often they will wrong you.

You Have to Rediscover Who You Are

When you have been hurt by someone you care about, it changes your life. No matter what path you decide to take, things will be different. This means things will never be as they once were, and you must rediscover who you are.

It Won’t Help You Heal.

Your healing process is the most important thing in this situation. If forgiving the offender won’t help you heal, don’t do it. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and you aren’t required to forgive.

It Can Make You Feel Isolated

Saying that you forgive someone when you truly haven’t can be even more detrimental to your well-being. It can cause you to feel isolated because once you have said the words, it’s not easy to take them back. You won’t feel like you can talk to anyone about it, either, because they may judge your decision.

Forgiveness May Not Be Possible

Sometimes, you are unable to forgive the person who has wronged you. Forgiveness can’t be forced, and it has to be truly felt. You can still find other ways to let go of the anger and pain.

What You Should Do Instead

Although you don’t have to forgive, it’s important not to ignore what happened to you. Ignoring it won’t work, and it can even make it worse. If you ignore it, you may end up isolating yourself or displacing the anger onto those who don’t deserve it.

Show Yourself Compassion

When you are hurting or angry, allow yourself to feel it without beating yourself up. It’s normal to hurt when you have been betrayed, so give yourself some compassion. Remember that it is not your fault you were betrayed, and it is fine that you can’t forgive.

Remind Yourself That the Person Who Hurt You is Human

If you can see the offender as what they are, a human being, you’ll be able to get past it without forgiving. Remember that humans make mistakes and, while you still don’t have to forgive, it will help you let go of some anger.

Give Yourself the Chance to Heal

When you are wronged, you are bound to suffer. Give yourself the time and opportunity for this. When you give yourself the necessary time, you can think with a clearer mind.

The healing process is a personal one for everyone, as mentioned before. This step is essential no matter what path you take, so you can’t skip it, and it should begin right away. As hard as the situation is, you have to feel the emotions and work your way through them.

Some days will be worse than others, but it is all part of the process. As you go through it, you will be able to understand your feelings and the situation fully. This will give you the right mindset to decide whether to offer forgiveness.

Stay Active

The busier you stay, the less you will focus on the negative aspects. While it is essential to go through them and process everything, you can’t think about it all the time. You’ll find peace and healing as you put your energy into doing other things.

Remind Yourself of the Reasons You Can’t Forgive

You have to set boundaries for yourself, and when you can’t forgive someone, they clearly crossed the line. Remind yourself that you are keeping yourself safe, whether emotionally or physically.

How to Decide if You Should Forgive

The decision to forgive or not to forgive is entirely up to you. You are the only one who can set boundaries for yourself. Deciding when you’re done is up to you; sometimes that decision comes after the first betrayal.

When you are making your decision, there are certain things you should consider and certain steps you should take. Remember, the decision is yours to make, despite what anyone else says.

Acknowledge What Happened

You are the only one who knows how much pain you have gone through. Consider what was done to you and how it made you feel. Once you have acknowledged it, it will be easier for you to decide.

Think About If the Person Apologized

If someone doesn’t apologize, they probably don’t deserve your forgiveness. Likewise, if they don’t apologize sincerely, they probably didn’t mean it. It’s also important to remember that an apology doesn’t always make up for what was done, but it will help.

You Heard About the Betrayal from Them

It’s always helpful to learn about the situation directly from the offender. If you had to find out from someone else, it’s a good sign the offended doesn’t respect you.

Consider the Severity of the Situation

Some things are easier to forgive than others, and this is something you have to consider. Only you can determine the way you feel, and that is the true determination of the severity.

Think About How Many Times They Have Done It

Forgiveness may not be the best option if this isn’t the first time. On the other hand, if it is the first time, it may be the only time. There is no way to know for sure, so make the decision you feel most comfortable with.

Think About What You Want to Do

No matter what has happened, you sometimes know what you want to happen next. That is fine if you want to give them another chance and know that you can forgive.

It’s also fine if you decide you don’t want to give a second chance. Remember that this is your life, and you get to decide who is in it. If you don’t want to forgive, there is no reason you should have to.

Final Thoughts on Why Forgiveness Isn’t Always the Best Option

While many people say that forgiveness is the key to healing and moving on, that isn’t entirely true. You can move on without forgiving the offender, and you can fully heal, too. The decision to forgive or not is entirely up to you. Don’t let anyone try to control your decision. Remember that forgiveness isn’t always the best option and that it can’t be forced.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!