Page 482

Researchers Find an Amino Acid That May Reduce Epilepsy

December 9, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

Researchers from the Florida State University College of Medicine found that amino acids in the brain may help prevent epilepsy.

A certain type of seizure called temporal lobe epilepsy can lead to permanent damage, including the death and loss of function of neurons. Researchers believe that amino acids could play a vital role in preventing this type of epileptic seizure.

Temporal lobe epilepsy, the most common form of focal (partial) epilepsy, involves seizures that begin in one or both temporal lobes. Seizures usually last one to two minutes and may lead to a total loss of awareness or impaired awareness.

Symptoms of this type of seizure include:

One may feel an unusual sensation (aura) before the seizure occurs, serving as a warning. However, not everyone with temporal lobe seizures will have auras or remember them after regaining consciousness.

The aura marks the beginning of a temporal lobe seizure.

Symptoms or feelings may include:

A sudden sense of unprovoked fear or joy
A deja vu experience — a feeling that what’s happening has happened before
A sudden or strange odor or taste
A rising sensation in the abdomen, similar to being on a roller coaster

Of course, you may not have the ability to respond to others after having a seizure. This type of seizure may last for 30 seconds to two minutes.

Signs and symptoms include:

Loss of awareness of surroundings
Staring
Lip-smacking
Repeated swallowing or chewing.
Unusual finger movements, such as picking motions

After a temporal lobe seizure, you may have:

A period of confusion and difficulty speaking.
Inability to recall what occurred during the seizure
Unawareness of having had a seizure
Extreme sleepiness

Sanjay Kumar, associate professor in the College of Medicine’s Department of Biomedical Sciences, hopes to find a cure for this debilitating disease. The team discovered a particular mechanism in the brain, which triggers these types of seizures. They also found that a certain amino acid called D-serine can stop this mechanism from causing the seizures. The findings have been published in the journal Nature Communications.

The temporal lobe helps to decode sensory stimuli, creates memories, comprehends conversations, and processes emotions. Temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) occurs in about 6 out of 10 adults with partial epilepsy. Unfortunately, current anti-epileptic medications do not help to prevent symptoms.

“A hallmark of TLE is the loss of a vulnerable population of neurons in a particular brain region called the entorhinal area,” Kumar said. “We’re trying to understand why neurons die in this brain region in the first place. From there, is there anything that we can do to stop these neurons from dying? It’s a very fundamental question.”

The temporal lobe epilepsy study

Kumar and his team study underlying receptors in the brain to gain more insight into how TLE occurs. Receptors, proteins in the gaps between two or more communicating neurons, aid in converting signals between them. Through their research, the team found a new type of receptor in the brain’s entorhinal cortex. They have informally named it the “FSU receptor,” which may become the new focus of TLE therapy.

“What’s striking about this receptor is that it is highly calcium-permeable, which is what we believe underlies the hyperexcitability and the damage to neurons in this region,” Kumar said.

When too much calcium enters neurons in FSU receptors, TLE patients experience seizures as neurons become overstimulated. This overstimulation from the influx of calcium causes neurons to die, a process known as excitotoxicity. Furthermore, the team discovered that D-serine blocks these receptors, keeping excess calcium from entering the neurons. This results in the prevention of seizures and neuron death.

“What’s unique about D-serine, unlike any other drugs that are out there, is that D-serine is made in the brain itself, so it’s well-tolerated by the brain,” Kumar said. “Many medications that deal with treating TLE are not well-tolerated, but given that this is made in the brain, it works very well.”

The team found depleted D-serine levels in animals with epilepsy, suggesting that TLE patients’ brains may not make much D-serine.

“The loss of D-serine essentially removes the brakes on these neurons, making them hyperexcitable,” Kumar said. “Then, the calcium comes in and causes excitotoxicity, which is the reason why neurons die. So, if we provide the brakes — if we provide D-serine — then you don’t get that loss of neurons.”

What causes lower D-serine levels in patients with epilepsy?

Kumar’s team believes that neuroinflammation causes depleted D-serine levels in the entorhinal cortex of the brain. Glial cells normally produce D-serine, but neuroinflammation caused by TLE leads to cellular and molecular brain changes that inhibit its production. So, since the team pinpointed D-serine as a useable therapy, they want to focus on viable administration options.

“We have to find creative ways to administer D-serine to that particular region of the human brain,” Kumar said. “Getting it to that right place is the challenge. We have to look at what effect it has when administered locally to that region of the brain compared to systemically through an IV, for example.”

TLE often results from a severe brain injury such as a concussion. However, D-serine can block the secondary effects of this type of injury when administered properly.

“A pie-in-the-sky type idea is a hypothetical scenario where you were to have a nebulizer or have people inhale D-serine, go play football, and if they experience a concussion, no neurons would be lost because the D-serine would provide a sort of cushion just in case there is a traumatic brain injury that can lead to loss of neurons in the temporal lobe,” Kumar said.

“There are some very interesting questions to ask and solve,” he added. “The important thing is that we’ve outlined the basic bread-and-butter mechanisms of why D-serine works. What we’ve established is the discovery of the receptors, discovery of the antagonist for these receptors (D-serine), how it works, and how to prevent the emergence of TLE. The mechanisms and pathophysiology are as relevant to the animal model as they are to human beings, and that’s where the excitement lies.”

Meet 10 Incredible People Who Overcame Impossible Odds

December 9, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Every day you hear about people making a difference in the world around them. In today’s broken world, these people inspire us and remind us there are still many good things happening. Meet ten terrific people who overcame impossible odds in their own life. And in turn, each helped other people in a time of great need.

You’ll enjoy these heartwarming stories who do not accept the meaning of the word impossible.

Ten People Who Overcame Impossible Odds and Showed Incredible Kindness

1 – Inmates show kindness

When three Georgia inmates saw a well-liked deputy sheriff pass out, they jumped into action. They began yelling his name and banging on their doors to rouse him after he’d fallen and fractured his skull. The entire unit joined, chanting his name and banging on their doors. With blood pooling around his head, the noise woke the sheriff just long enough for him to push the unlock button. Then he passed out again.

Time is not refundable, use it with intention. (click here to tweet)

When the doors flew open, the three inmates dashed over to where the deputy landed and called for assistance. They applied first aid to the deputy until help arrived. Later, when recovering at his home, the deputy admitted he didn’t know he’d fallen and hit his head, but he heard yelling and thought an inmate needed help. The entire sheriff’s department is grateful for these three men who chose to show kindness to another human being.

2 – Grandma Jean’s wisdom

When pandemic forced colleges to move to online learning, one student was given the assignment to get to know someone new on campus. Since social distancing made this almost impossible, she joined several groups in hopes of completing the assignment. When she got a reply from an older woman named Grandma Jean, she was shocked but intrigued that someone so old was using social media, let alone a college student.

At 87, Grandma Jean assured her that she was a college student. Jean was in her 3rd year of school, fulfilling her dream of a college education. Grandma Jean became a close friend to the young student, sharing her sage wisdom and optimistic view of life. She could find a silver lining in every situation, maintaining her faith and gratitude as the pandemic dragged into days, weeks, and months. The young student says that Grandma Jean taught her to never give up on learning, keeping playing no matter what age you are. Jean emphasized the importance of being a happy person and learning to laugh even on difficult days.

The young student says the most important thing she learned from Grandma Jean was that there is a difference between getting old and growing up.

Growing older involves your physical body. But growing older is looking for opportunities to improve your life and the life of others. It’s waking up with a positive mindset. Grandma Jean says never let go of your dreams no matter how old you are and, most of all, live your life without regrets.

3 – Seven-year-old raises money for an excellent cause

When you ask seven-year-old Gunner Hoggard what he wants to do in life, he’ll tell you he wants to continue to write books. And he plans to use the money from the book to help fight Perthes Disease, a rare childhood disease that affects the ability to walk. His other goal is to encourage other kids like him that they aren’t alone.

This outgoing young boy knows the difficulty of the disease, but he doesn’t hold him back. He says his goal is to “help other kids like me that can’t do ‘normal’ kid things.” Despite his own pain from Perthes Disease and the many other challenges he faces, he maintains a positive attitude.

His book, “My Adventure with Perthes,” tells the story of how he finds the strength to endure the pain and other challenges of having a disease. He’s also donating one dollar from each book sale towards Perthes Disease research. Gunner’s mom says it best, “His ability to turn such a life-altering situation into something positive makes me beyond proud of him.”

4 – Landlord waives rent during a seemingly impossible crisis

Landlord Mario Salerno knew that many people living in his eighty apartments had lost their jobs or were in financial difficulties due to the pandemic. He wanted to be sure his tenants could buy food, so he waived a month’s rent in hopes of giving them a bit of a break. Described by many as extremely kindhearted, Salerno says he isn’t worried about the money as much as he is concerned for the tenants’ safety and health.

One tenant says she was worried about paying rent since her hair salon had to shut down, but when she noticed that her rent was canceled for a month, she called Salerno a wonderful man. Hopefully, his example of kindness during difficult times will inspire others to do the same.

5 – Kind sensei helps kids fight anxiety

Sensi Del Rounds loved teaching kids karate. So, when his martial arts center had to shut down due to Covid, he felt sad for the kids he knew who looked forward to the lessons. He also knew that karate could relieve the anxiety that many kids felt about all the changes going on around them. He wanted to do something to help the kids. Thus, he decided to teach an online free karate class for anyone who wanted to learn.

His first online class had 200 kids eager to learn karate. Rounds said learning karate helps kids learn to focus and concentrate in a challenging situation. His students get stronger and able to face difficulties with courage. His positivity and desire to help kids in the midst of the pandemic is an inspiration for us all.

“Inside of a ring or out, ain’t nothing wrong with going down. It’s staying down that’s wrong.” – Muhammad Ali (click here to tweet)

6 – Elderly woman gives up her ventilator to save a younger person

When she contracted Covid and had to be hospitalized, 90-year-old Suzanne Hoylaerts refused a ventilator, telling her doctors, “save it for the younger patients. I already had a good life.” Sadly, she died two days after arriving at the hospital. Hoylaerts’ simple decision to not take a ventilator for the sake of the younger people in the hospital with her reminds us that acts of kindness have no age limit.

7 – CEO gives up salary to pay for employees

When CEO Kent Taylor decides to do something, he follows through with it. As Covid hit small businesses across the United States, some of the hardest hit were restaurants and bars. His own chain restaurant, Texas Roadhouse, was hit, so he decided to rather than let go of his front-line employees, he’d pay them using his own base salary and bonus for the year.

After his selfless act of kindness, the Texas Roadhouse board of directors decided to suspend payments of cash dividends of Texas Roadhouse stock. Inspired by Taylor’s unselfishness, the Texas Roadhouse board of directors announced they were suspending quarterly dividends from the company’s stock, freeing up cash to help employees.

8 – Plumber refuses payment

Plumber James Anderson has a habit of not charging his clients, but that’s no surprise. He’s been doing it for years. He heard that a 91-year-old woman dying from leukemia who needed her boiler repaired. So he immediately went to her house and fixed the broken boiler. The woman’s daughter expressed dismay at the bill–Anderson did not charge her. Her daughter posted the bill with all the zeros on Facebook. The next day it went viral–getting over 30,000 reactions and 11,00 reposts.

Anderson began his non-profit company, DEPHER, Disabled & Elderly Plumbing & Heating Emergency Repairs, three years ago. As of today, he fixed 2 389 people plumbing or heating for free. It’s his way of giving back after once observing an older man be taken advantage of by a worker. This experience revealed how important it is to help and protect older adults. Anderson sums it up well by saying the following:

“It got me thinking about elderly and vulnerable people-we need to do something more to help the people who need it most.”

These people he noted often suffer silently, suffering from the high prices. His goal for DEPHER is to help cancer patients, older people by offering free and low-cost services.

Anderson’s big heart comes at a cost. Currently, his non-profit business is in debt. But he says it’s worth it to help cancer patients and the elderly. His band loans him the money he needs to buy supplies and keep up his mission to help. One man’s kindness and generosity touched many people’s lives.

9 – Nurse helps a homeless man receive a heart transplant

Lori Wood, an ICU nurse, was assigned to Jonathan Pinkard when he was admitted to the hospital after falling at work. Pinkard was shocked to find out he would die if he didn’t get a heart transplant. Wood heard that Pinkard was homeless, which meant he wasn’t eligible to receive a transplant. So, Wood decided to become his legal guardian to help expedite the possibility of him getting on a transplant list. Pinkard had been living in a men’s shelter where he worked as the office clerk.

Wood says the following:

“I had to help him. It was a no-brainer. He would have died without a transplant.”

Jonathan Pinkard’s impossible situation seemed hopeless. But Lori Wood’s kindness perhaps saved his life by offering him the support he lacked.

10 – Boy gets into trouble doodling on walls and now inspires others to reach their goals

Remember when you were in school and drew pictures all over your papers while listening to your teacher? Nine-year-old Joe Whale loved to doodle. He often got into trouble for drawing in his class, but his parents encouraged his budding talent.

They sent him to drawing class after school, where his teachers marveled at his talent. His artistic abilities became so well known that “Number 4,” a popular restaurant in Shrewsbury, England, asked him to doodle all over their walls. Whale, dubbed the Doodle Boy, has a website and showcases his work on social media. If the restaurant hadn’t given Whale a chance, his amazing talent wouldn’t have been shared with the world.

This boy proves to the world that determination helps a person achieve their goals. He strives to be an inspiration to others.

“Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Connect with your roots. Turn over a new leaf. Bend before you break. Enjoy your unique natural beauty. Keep growing.” – Joanne Raptis (click here to tweet)

Final Thoughts on People Who Beat Impossible Odds to Help Others

Impossible situations often bring great opportunities for people to show kindness and generosity. Who knows, maybe today you can help solve someone’s problem and be a huge blessing to them.

Companies Try Shorter Workweeks to Avoid Employee Burnout

December 8, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

In today’s fast-paced world, employee burnout affects millions of people worldwide each year. According to the Harvard Business Review, employers spend around $190 billion annually on employee burnout related healthcare costs. Combined with lost productivity and job turnover, workplace stress costs the U.S. economy around $500 billion a year.

Lost productivity due to employee burnout amounts to about 550 million workdays.

Even before the pandemic, millions of people experienced work-related stress, but the current situation adds more fuel to the fire. A survey from FlexJobs and Mental Health America reported that 75% of Americans experienced burnout this year. 40% of them said that the pandemic directly caused their feelings of work-related exhaustion. Parents juggling working from home plus helping their kids with their online schooling may explain the burnout epidemic.

Working from home means no clear distinction between work and home, and many people find themselves working longer hours. With the added stress of not seeing friends and coworkers, people worldwide are starting to reach their limit.

A few months into the pandemic, an engineering director at Eventbrite Inc, Nick Popoff, spoke up in a Zoom meeting. He shared that he felt burned out and exhausted, even though he took nature walks to recharge. Other than that, he often didn’t leave home and missed seeing his friends and colleagues. After he spoke up, other coworkers came forward and expressed their concerns.

How companies are helping employees adjust to the “new normal.”

“Sometimes people will be critical no matter what you do. Don’t take it personally. It’s more about them than you.” – Kristen Butler (click here to tweet)

So, Nick decided to create “recognizing burnout” sessions for other employees, so they had a platform to voice their feelings. Mental health professionals also chimed in with ways to cope during these uncertain, stressful times. Besides offering more mental health services, employers have also suggested employees disconnect from technology for periods of time. Some companies have begun expanding training for managers on how to safely and effectively get their employees through the pandemic.

Bosses all over the world hope these measures will help their remote employees feel less depressed and fed up. Many people have been struggling with their mental health due to the isolation and lack of separation between work and home life. However, simply reaching out to employees during this time could make a world of difference. In fact, Antonio Neri, chief executive at Hewlett Packard Enterprise Co., suggested that managers call employees personally to check on them.

Eventbrite

Eventbrite’s HR officer David Hanrahan believes this approach will bolster employee’s mental health as well. The company recently had a training session on how supervisors can better empathize with employees who work remotely. During one-on-one sessions with employees, managers have been told to ask, “How are you really, really doing?” This opens the conversation and allows the employee to express their true feelings before moving on to business.

Other tactics managers have employed during the pandemic include issuing “good news Friday” memos. CEO Dean Allen at engineering and construction company McKinstry Co. LLC had this idea to boost his company’s morale. He sends out a list of good things that happened during the week, so employees get a break from depressing news. This could include things like feedback from a pleased customer or details about new clients.

While all of these approaches have their benefits, employees may still feel overwhelmed with their workload. Employee burnout happens when people feel they have too much on their plate and don’t see an end in sight. People in many industries experience this feeling, and unfortunately, the pandemic has only exacerbated this underlying problem.

One company tries a shorter workweek to combat employee burnout.

However, one company decided to try out a pilot program to choose to work 30 hour weeks. At Fidelity Investments, a small portion of the workforce will have this option and keep their full benefits. While these employees will have a small pay cut, the company hopes the reduced stress will make it worthwhile. Fidelity will hire more employees to pick up the slack so that current workers don’t become overwhelmed.

Head of HR at the company, Bill Ackerman, says employers need to adjust to their workforce’s needs. In particular, they should focus on expanding access to child-care coordinators and subsidies since many parents have to homeschool now, he says.

Other bosses have been taking extra steps to get remote employees off their laptops as the line between work and home grows fuzzy. For example, public relations firm Geben Communications started offering employees extra self-care days off in the past few months. This encourages employees to disconnect from technology and enjoy their families or take time for relaxation.

In Austin, Texas, the company Dosh has been surprising employees with impromptu three day weekends. On random Thursdays during meetings, CEO Ryan Wuerch announces that the next day will be a “Dosh Day,” or a day off work. He hopes this will encourage his employees to disconnect from the online world for a while.

Managers say that the stress from the pandemic means employees need extra support. Regularly checking in and monitoring their logged work hours will help them avoid employee burnout. Eventbrite’s Mr. Popoff pays close attention to any employees who work after hours and follows up with them the next day. He makes sure to remind them that they don’t need to work any longer than normal.

You are killing yourself for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself. (click here to tweet)

Final thoughts on combatting employee burnout

In summary, here are specific steps employers can take to reduce employee burnout:

Suggest that employees take time off. Offering extra self-care days or encouraging staff to end work a few hours earlier are helpful ideas.
Offer expanded mental health and counseling, if necessary. Some employers have utilized online counseling apps or hired coordinators so employees can better access therapists.
Ask managers to check in regularly with employees. For example, some managers have started calling or video chatting one-on-one with employees for mental health support.
Train managers on how to oversee a team with empathy. During these times, many employees need extra guidance and support. Training managers on how to respond to these unprecedented times is necessary.
Let employees share their real feelings if they need to. Having special meetings specifically for mental health support can help employees get through these challenging times.

Researchers Successfully Convert Ammonia into Hydrogen for Clean Energy

December 8, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

Researchers from Northwestern University have developed an eco-friendly method of converting ammonia into hydrogen, a huge step toward eliminating pollution. Their findings have been published in the journal Joule and will help the world transition to a hydrogen-fueled economy eventually.

Because ammonia becomes liquified much easier than hydrogen, storing, and transporting, it presents fewer difficulties. Scientists have started investigating using ammonia as a carrier for hydrogen delivery in the past few years due to this reason. The groundbreaking study by Northwestern University helped identify possible barriers in the conversion process and provided solutions to overcome them.

The researchers explained that the delivery of hydrogen would present challenges, as the infrastructure is lacking. Therefore, transporting it would require redesigning the system, which could get costly.

“The bane for hydrogen fuel cells has been the lack of delivery infrastructure,” said Sossina Haile, lead author of the study. “It’s difficult and expensive to transport hydrogen, but an extensive ammonia delivery system already exists. There are pipelines for it. We deliver lots of ammonia all over the world for fertilizer. If you give us ammonia, the electrochemical systems we developed can convert that ammonia to fuel-cell-ready, clean hydrogen on-site at any scale.”

Haile is also a Walter P. Murphy Professor of materials science and engineering at Northwestern’s McCormick School of Engineering. She has additional appointments in applied physics and chemistry and is also co-director at the Institute for Sustainability and Energy at Northwestern.

The study

Haile’s team found that they could use renewable energy instead of fossil fuels to complete the hydrogen conversion from their research. They discovered the process requires much lower temperatures than traditional methods – 250 degrees Celsius instead of 500-600 degrees Celsius. The clean energy technique also creates pure hydrogen, which means scientists don’t need to filter out any unreacted ammonia or other products.

The team explains that the conversion’s efficiency comes from the fact that all the electrical current running to the device creates hydrogen. It can also be directly pressurized for high-density storage by increasing electrical power since it’s pure hydrogen.

To complete the conversion, the team built a special electrochemical cell with a proton-conducting membrane. Then, they integrated it with an ammonia-splitting catalyst, which creates nitrogen and hydrogen.

“The ammonia first encounters the catalyst that splits it into nitrogen and hydrogen,” Haile said. “That hydrogen gets immediately converted into protons, which are then electrically driven across the proton-conducting membrane in our electrochemical cell. By continually pulling off the hydrogen, we drive the reaction to go further than it would otherwise. This is known as Le Chatelier’s principle. By removing one of the products of the ammonia-splitting reaction — namely the hydrogen — we push the reaction forward, beyond what the ammonia-splitting catalyst can do alone.”

When the ammonia splitting process produces hydrogen, it can then get transferred to a fuel cell. Just like batteries, fuel cells produce electricity by converting energy produced from chemical reactions. However, unlike batteries, fuel cells can conduct energy as long as they have a steady fuel supply. They never lose their charge.

How this clean hydrogen technology applies to real life

When a fuel cell consumes hydrogen, it only produces water as a byproduct. On the other hand, fossil fuels produce greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide. Clearly, the Earth would benefit much more from a clean fuel such as hydrogen. The researchers hope that the world can move in this direction and create a cleaner planet in the future.

Haile explains that this technology could transform the transportation industry in particular. In 2018, it accounted for more greenhouse gas emissions in the U.S. than any other economic sector. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, the movement of people and goods by all types of transportation accounted for 28% of emissions.

“Battery-powered vehicles are great, but there’s certainly a question of range and material supply,” Haile said. “Converting ammonia to hydrogen on-site and in a distributed way would allow you to drive into a fueling station and get pressurized hydrogen for your car. There’s also a growing interest for hydrogen fuel cells for the aviation industry because batteries are so heavy.”

According to the U.S. Department of Energy, the government and car industry have already begun working on fuel cell electric vehicles (FCEVs). Light-duty FCEVs have hit the market already in localized, limited areas domestically and worldwide. Incredibly, fuel cells connected to an electric motor have two to three times the efficiency of an internal combustion engine powered by gasoline.

Where and when?

Currently, California leads the nation in building hydrogen fueling stations for FCEVs. As of mid-2020, California had 43 retail hydrogen stations open to the public, and 19 plan to open soon. These stations provide fuel to over 8,000 FCEVs. Through its Clean Transportation Program, California continues to provide funding toward building hydrogen infrastructure.

Also, the California Energy Commission will allocate up to $20 million per year through 2023 to building this infrastructure. In addition, it has invested in 100 public stations initially to encourage the use of FCEVs. In the northeastern states, 12 retail stations are under consideration, and some already serve fleet customers. A growing hydrogen market exists for buses, material handling, ground support equipment, and medium- and heavy-duty trucks.

Haile and her team hope that their discoveries can help the world transition to hydrogen-based fuels in the future. Their next area of research lies in investigating new, eco-friendly ways of producing ammonia. This way, the whole process can create zero pollution while providing the planet with a clean energy source.

Here is how Earth healed during the global lockdown in 2020.

Final thoughts on the successful conversion of ammonia into hydrogen for clean energy

While the research and infrastructure remain in their infancy, hydrogen could transform how we use energy in the future. Scientists have recently successfully converted ammonia into hydrogen and will direct their efforts toward finding eco-friendly methods of producing ammonia.

Counselors Reveal 10 Golden Rules of Friendship

December 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

If you’re like most people, you have many acquaintances and only a few close friends. You might feel closer to some of your friends than you do your family. What are the rules of friendship that make it all work?

Ralph Waldo Emerson revealed the secret to lasting friendship when he advised that “to have a friend, you must be a friend.” Do you remember being nervous as the “new kid” in school and wondering if you’d ever have a close inner circle? You probably used the rules of making friends that your parents taught you.

As long as humans have been on planet earth, friendship has existed. Human beings are social creatures, and companionship is a basic need. However, some people are better at making friends than others.

Are you an extrovert who never knows a stranger, or do you have difficulty opening up to people you don’t know? Even if you’re a people person, real friendships take time and effort from both parties. You must work and cultivate a friendship if it’s going to last.

The Importance of Having Friends in Your Life

Friendship plays a vital role in people’s lives. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., notes that “One of the most important and yet least understood areas of psychology concerns the role of friends in our lives.”

And we all have different categories of relationships. For example, some of the friends you have as an adult may have been with you since childhood. Many people consider their coworkers and colleagues as buddies, but maybe not their best friends.

There is a gray area in friendship for people who are known as “frenemies.” These are people who act like your friends, but they aren’t. Although there are many fake pals in the world, they are outnumbered by the ones that are true blue.

How do you define a friend? Is it someone who you can trust and someone who will stick up for you? Is your friend loyal and would never betray your confidence? The qualities you want in a friendship are the same ones that others look for in you.

The Ten Golden Rules of Friendship

Would you like to widen your circle of friends or cultivate relationships you already have? It’s a lifetime of work, but it’s worth every minute. Here are ten rules of friendship that you should always keep in mind.

1. Be Genuine

Have you ever wondered what brought you and your friends together? They were attracted to you because of who you are. Just like snowflakes, there are no two people in the world who are exactly alike.

So, why would you want to act like something you’re not? Good buddies are always genuine, no matter the setting or who is with them. The world is full of fake people, and you needn’t be one of them. Be proud of who you are and be genuine with your strengths and shortcomings.

2. Be Loyal

A friend is a person who you know always has your back, no matter what. It’s a basic rule of friendship that can’t be broken. You would expect that enemies would turn their backs on you when you are down, but not your buddies.

Loyalty means that you will stand up for each other even when others won’t. When you are in need, your friends are the first ones there to help. If you can’t trust your inner circle, then who can you trust?

3. Be Honest, Even When It Hurts

Another one of the golden rules for relationships is honesty. Have you ever asked a friend for their opinion about a decision you need to make? You did that because you trusted that they would be honest with you.

Sometimes, being honest can hurt. Maybe you are too close to a situation and can’t see the whole picture. A true pal always tells the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear.

4. Know How to Apologize and Forgive

It takes a lot of guts for people to admit they are wrong and ask for forgiveness. However, if someone is your friend, they will gladly do it. Selfish people can only create toxic relationships, and they will often shift the blame on everybody else.

If you have made a mistake, be a friend and own up to it. Apologize sincerely and try to make amends. Accept your friend’s forgiveness, learn from your mistakes, and try not to make them again.

Nothing can ruin a good relationship more than holding a grudge. Forgiveness not only benefits the offender, but it is more of a gift to the offended. It doesn’t excuse the wrong that the other person did, nor does it mean you can forget it.

Forgiveness gives you both the freedom to get past a transgression and start the healing process. Sometimes, hurtful words or actions may be too great for you to want the relationship to continue. In those cases, forgiveness can allow you both to go your separate ways in peace.

5. Spend Time Together

Do you enjoy outdoor gardening or raising houseplants? What would happen if you stopped watering and caring for your plants? They would wither and die, the same way an uncultivated friendship would.

Friends enjoy spending time together, whether it’s chatting on the phone or going to a favorite restaurant. Remember that quality time is worth more than quantity. Try to get together in person as much as you can, instead of resorting to texting or messaging on social media continuously.

6. Don’t Break Confidence

If trust is one of the golden rules of friendship, then confidence ranks right beside it. When you tell close friends something in confidence, you expect that it will go no further. In the same token, you should respect your friends’ privacy and trust.

Never assume that just because your friends ask you not to tell anyone about something, it’s okay to broadcast it. Pals know each other well enough to understand when something needs to be kept quiet. It’s often challenging to mend a friendship that’s been broken because of a breach of confidence.

7. Avoid Aggressive Confrontation

Since we are all individuals, we all have different opinions that are going to clash occasionally. It’s going to happen even in the best of friendships. However, how you handle differing points of view can make or break the relationship.

Just because you and your friend don’t see eye-to-eye on a subject doesn’t call for a confrontation. If you do get into a heated debate, step away, and give each other some space. If you’re real friends, you will both apologize and learn how to “agree to disagree.”

8. Help Each Other

Who can you turn to if you can’t go to your friends? Nobody ever makes it high enough in this world that they don’t need anyone else to stand by their side. When your friends need help, are you there to listen or give them a hand?

You’ve probably heard some people labeled as “fair-weather friends.” These people are happy to be your pal when everything is going well, but they will abandon you in your time of need.

Being there for each other is one of the essential rules of friendship. When your friends are hurting and feeling down, they don’t need dismissive clichés or advice. Just being by their side to listen and share their burden is one of friendship’s greatest gifts.

9. Be One Another’s Cheerleader

In 2018, psychologists acknowledged that one of the best benefits of having friends is the moral support you give–and take–from each other.

This is one of the rules of friendship that people may forget after knowing somebody for years. Not only do your friends want you to share in their hardships, but they want you to be part of their victories. When they are trying to do something, they need to hear your cheers of encouragement.

Words like “you can do it” or “I’m on your side” can be the inspiration they need to cross the finish line. A real friend will be happy for each other’s accomplishments. Petty jealousy has no place in a real friendship.

10. Keep Give and Take Equal

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, states that “healthy relationships are designed to be a give and take.”

The Ancient Romans called it “quid pro quo,” which in modern terms means “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine.” There’s give and take in every friendship. However, the ratio should be as close to 50/50 as possible.

It’s another one of the friendship rules that reminds you never to take more than you give. Almost everyone has had at least one friend in the past who was continually wanting their time and resources but never reciprocated. That one-sided friendship is something that nobody needs.

Being a friend doesn’t mean that you must be someone’s doormat. If you have a buddy who is only there when they need you, it may be time to part ways. Real friends know that a relationship is a two-sided street, and they won’t use others, nor will they be used.

Final Thoughts on the Rules of Friendship

All the friendship rules can be summed up by saying this–always treat others how you want them to treat you. When you have a friend for life, you’ve found a treasure that money can’t buy.

AHA Links Good Sleeping Habits to Less Heart Disease

December 8, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

A new study from the American Heart Association (AHA) found that adults with the healthiest sleeping habits had fewer heart disease occurrences. In fact, their research revealed that those with consistent quality sleep had a 42% lower risk of heart failure.

Even when they accounted for other risk factors, adults with healthy sleep patterns had better health markers than unhealthy sleepers. The findings have been published in the American Heart Association’s premier journal Circulation.

The AHA defined healthy sleep patterns as rising in the morning and sleeping the recommended 7-8 hours per day. The criteria also included not experiencing frequent insomnia, snoring, or extreme daytime sleepiness.

Unfortunately, heart failure affects around 26 million people worldwide and continues to increase in prevalence. New evidence shows that sleep disruptions may play a role in the development of heart failure.

The American Heart Association study that links lowered heart disease to positive sleeping habits

The AHA study investigated the correlation between healthy sleeping habits and heart failure and compiled data from 408,802 UK Biobank participants. The individuals in the study were between the ages of 37 and 73 when they agreed to participate. Researchers collected data on incidences of heart failure until April 1, 2019. They also recorded 5,221 cases of heart failure during a 10-year follow-up period.

Something will grow from all you are going through. And it will be you. (click here to tweet)

For the study, the team analyzed sleep quality as well as the participants’ sleeping habits. Measures of sleep quality included time spent sleeping, insomnia, snoring, and whether the individual was an early riser or late sleeper. They also recorded whether the participants had any daytime sleepiness symptoms, such as dozing off or sleeping during the day.

“The healthy sleep score we created was based on the scoring of these five sleep behaviors,” said Lu Qi, M.D., Ph.D., corresponding author, and professor of epidemiology and director of the Obesity Research Center at Tulane University in New Orleans. “Our findings highlight the importance of improving overall sleep patterns to help prevent heart failure.”

Researchers used touchscreen questionnaires to collect data on sleep behaviors. They categorized sleep behaviors into three different groups: short, or less than 7 hours; recommended, or 7-8 hours; or prolonged, or 9+ hours a day.

The research team then adjusted for diabetes, medication use, genetics, hypertension, and other risk factors. They found that adults with healthy sleeping habits had a 42% lower risk of developing heart failure than those with unhealthy sleep patterns.

Other interesting findings from the study included that heart disease occurred:

8% lower in early risers;
12% lower in those who slept 7 to 8 hours daily;
17% lower in those who did not have frequent insomnia; and
34% lower in those reporting no daytime sleepiness.

Participants reported their own sleeping habits, but any changes in sleep patterns at follow-up weren’t available. The researchers said that other unknown or unmeasured factors might have influenced the outcome. However, Qi noted that the study’s strong points included it being the first study of its kind and having a large sample size.

Seven other ways to lower the risk of heart disease/heart failure:

According to the American Heart Association, you can lower your heart failure risk by making lifestyle changes. These include:

1 – Stop smoking.

Smoking harms nearly every organ in the body and can cause damage to the functioning of the heart. Smoking is a major risk factor for atherosclerosis and heart disease.

2 – Eat healthy foods.

Eating a balanced, nutritious diet helps you maintain a healthy weight and lower risk factors for diseases such as diabetes and high blood pressure. Many diseases today can either be reversed or at least managed with a healthy diet. Include plenty of fresh vegetables and fruits, nuts, seeds, whole grains, lean meats, and dairy in your diet. Limit consumption of processed, sugary, high-fat foods, as well as red meats.

3 – Lower your cholesterol.

Fat lodged in the arteries can trigger a heart attack or stroke. To prevent this from happening, make sure to lower your consumption of saturated fats, trans fats, and cholesterol. You may need to take medication to lower your cholesterol if diet and exercise alone aren’t helping. Healthy cholesterol levels for adults over 20 are anywhere from 125 mg/dL to 200 mg/dL.

4 – Exercise daily.

Even if you walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes, something is better than nothing. However, experts say that at least 150 minutes per week of intense aerobic exercise is necessary to lower blood pressure and cholesterol. This will also keep your weight in a healthy range.

5 – Maintain a healthy weight.

Unfortunately, obesity in the U.S. is at an all-time high. This puts you at a higher risk of developing high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, and ultimately cardiovascular disease. Make sure to exercise regularly and vigorously, eat a healthy diet, and keep your stress low to control your weight.

6 – Keep your stress low.

Studies have shown that high cortisol levels from long-term stress can increase blood cholesterol, triglycerides, blood sugar, and blood pressure. These are all factors that can lead to heart failure. Make sure to create time in your schedule for relaxation, meditation, yoga, or something else that eases your stress.

7 – Limit alcohol consumption.

Drinking too much alcohol can raise blood pressure and increase the risk of stroke, cancer, and other diseases. It may also cause irregular heartbeats and contribute to the development of diabetes and obesity. If you do drink, limit your consumption to one drink per day.

Final thoughts on a study showing a link between good sleeping habits and reducing your odds of heart disease

Quality sleep in today’s world may seem hard to come by, but it may just save you from heart disease. The study above confirmed that adults with good sleeping habits have a 42% lower risk of heart failure than poor sleepers. Lack of sleep causes disruptions in your whole body and increases cortisol production. All of this puts a lot of extra strain on your heart.

Make sure you have a regular sleep schedule, turn off technology a few hours before bed, and keep your room cool at night. All of these habits will help you sleep better and wake up feeling more refreshed.

15 Things an Empathetic Person Does Without Realizing It

December 8, 2020 by Power of Positivity

An empath is a person that is particularly good at tuning into the feelings of those around them. The feelings are so overwhelming that they may find it hard to be in large crowds due to their sensitive nature. Are you or someone you know an empathetic person?

One common simile that psychologists use to describe an empath is that they’re like a sponge. They can easily absorb both the pleasure and pain of others. These people don’t have filters to shield themselves from a bad situation, so it’s not uncommon for them to attract negative emotions.

They may not know why they are so upset at the end of the day, but they are no doubt channeling the emotional fields they’ve been around. Another common thing in this group is that they are sensitive to sounds. Hectic environments like the grocery store may cause significant stress and be too overwhelming.

Fifteen Key Behaviors Indicate You Are an Empathetic Person

The wonderful thing about these people is they bring a lot of heart and compassion to the world. If you tend to be empathetic, then here are 15 things that you might do without even realizing it.

1. Your Care For Others Overshadows Your Care For Yourself

You can’t just feel bad for someone because your instincts require you to take it to the next level. You take on others’ emotions so profoundly that you often let that overshadow your need to take care of yourself. It’s not uncommon to become fatigued or burnout from all the energy used to help others, so there’s nothing left of you to pour into your own needs.

2. Intimacy Overwhelms You

Close contact with anyone can be problematic, but it can scare the empathetic person regarding intimacy in romantic relationships. You may become stressed and overwhelmed when you’re spending a lot of time with someone. Most of it stems from irrational fears of losing the one you love.

An empath often goes into sensory overload, which can be devastating during sexual encounters. Your “frayed nerves” keep you from some pleasurable life experiences. Often, people in relationships with an empath don’t understand their need for alone time and space.

Their requests for solitude come across as being hurtful, and then the empath absorbs those negative emotions. It’s common to see these people choose to remain single rather than attempt the roller coaster.

3. Can Pick Up On Subtle Cues and Provide Insight

An empathic person is known for having strong gut reactions. They use their instincts to pick up on dishonesty or other things that appear off. Empaths put a lot of faith in their instincts without noticing it.

Though some might say you’re a bit impulsive, you’re just using your gut to guide you. Those subtle clues that bypass others don’t get by you.

4. Nature Calls To You

There’s nothing wrong with spending time in nature, but the empath feels a calling to go to remote areas. Nature provides the serenity and calming that someone on sensory overload needs.

You can sit on the shore and watch the waves crash for hours or hike to a mountain peak for solitude. Empaths use nature to soothe an overstimulated mind, but you probably didn’t know why you felt such a closeness to the earth.

5. You Shop At Small Stores In Non-Peak Hours

Walking through the mall for a leisurely Saturday afternoon trip seems like fun to most folks. However, the empath is overwhelmed by the number of people, the noise, the lights, and the energy.

Since you can feel both positive and negative emotions, it’s too overwhelming to absorb all this racket, and your senses are on overdrive. Due to this tremendous feeling, you may choose to shop at smaller stores at non-peak times.

6. You Act Like a Therapist

Do you find that everyone tends to run to tell you their problems? Many friends and family members save time and money by coming to you instead of a psychologist.

An empathetic person may get so many people dumping on them that they feel drained at the end of the day. Considerate, empathic people are fantastic listeners, which is why you will never want for company.

7. You Avoid Perfumes, Candles, and Other Strong Scents

The increased sensitivity you feel isn’t just emotionally based on your overly sensitive to smells and sounds. Do you know that some empaths can’t take being around someone that wears perfume or cologne? Highly scented candles and air fresheners can also be overwhelming.

Loud sounds are an issue, so you probably prefer your technology volume to be friendly and low. Any loud noises can be physically jarring and can even cause panic.

8. You Need A Time Out To Restore Your Energy Reserves

It’s draining to be sensitive to others’ pain, so it’s easy for the empathetic person to become depleted both physically and emotionally. Even positive feelings can be overtaking. It would be best if you had time to rest and process all your emotions.

When the empath can’t escape all the feelings and rest, they can become burnout or even get physically sick. Some may feel that you’re an introvert, but that is not always the case. You’ve been energized till the point of exhaustion, and you need time to rebuild those reserves.

9. You Avoid Conflict At All Costs

Empaths dread any conflict because the higher sensitivity range makes you wear your emotions on your sleeve. You often walk away with your feelings hurt at even the slightest remark. You can’t help it, but you take criticism so personally that you avoid such altercations.

Any arguments will cause you more distress than the next person because your feelings and reactions are different than most. Since you have a habit of soaking up others’ emotions, you strive to address everyone’s hurt even when you don’t know-how. You don’t have the coping skills to deal with even the smallest fight.

10. You’re a Loner Because You Don’t Feel as Though You Fit In (even though you do!)

Even though people love to confide and be around you, you have a hard time relating to others on a personal level. Due to your sponge-like emotions and the fact that you become stressed so quickly, you feel like an outsider.

To avoid the feelings of being out of place, you keep your inner circle small. Empaths usually tend to be private people who prefer the company of a smaller crowd. It’s just less stressful.

11. You Isolate

Many people mistake empaths for hermits because they tend to isolate. It’s not that you don’t like to be around people, but those times of solitude are healing to you. You must be careful that you don’t isolate for too long because it can have a real impact on your mental health.

Many empaths get a pet as they can benefit from the bond, and it’s a relationship that isn’t as stressful.

12. You Look At Things Differently

Greater emotional knowledge drives your feelings, and you feel things others miss. Sadly, this connection can come with caveats. Spaces that don’t allow you to express yourself emotionally can put a lid on your creative side, and you will become detached and have problems thriving.

13. You Can’t Shut Off The Emotional “Noise.”

The emotional noise that comes from the world brings you much distress. Many empaths need help to manage the overstimulation they experience. Your quality of life can be affected when you don’t have self-care approaches and ways to protect yourself.

14. Music Isn’t Your Thing

Has anyone ever ridden in the car with you and commented why the radio wasn’t on? You like music, as long as it’s nice and low. However, when you’re trying to focus and pay attention to the other drivers on the roadway, you find the radio distracting.

15. You Don’t Set Appropriate Boundaries

All relationship requires firm boundaries. As an empath, you may struggle with the ability to know when to say no. You will give of yourself and resources until nothing is left.

Since others’ problems and emotions take such a toll on you, boundaries become even more critical. Even your words or actions must have limits so that you don’t cross a line that takes you a while to bounce back from. When firm boundaries aren’t in place, you may become unable to decipher your emotions from those around you.

Final Thoughts On An Empathetic Person

Many people often confuse having sympathy for being an empathetic person. The two personality types are vastly different. Anyone can sympathize with someone going through a hard time, but the empathetic takes it to another level by absorbing others’ emotions.

It’s essential to have coping skills in place to keep you from getting burned out. Also, take time to be in nature and have some solitude among the wind and trees. Find ways to recharge your batteries so that you don’t become so overwhelmed by others’ emotions that you can’t live your life to the fullest.

Study Finds Striking Similarities Between The Brain And The Cosmos

December 8, 2020 by Kristen Lawrence

Scientists have recently discovered uncanny similarities between the neuronal structure of the brain and the patterns of the universe. This connection to the cosmos is striking.

Of course, many scholars and researchers have already noted that humans and nature share the same structure. For instance, our veins look much like the branches of lightning, and our fingerprints have similar patterns as tree rings. Nebulas in space have oddly similar structures as our irises, and the birth of a cell looks like the death of a star.

How do we explain all of this? It seems now that science is finally catching up with what the sages and saints in various religions have said for millennia. We are not only a part of the cosmos – we ARE the cosmos experiencing themselves. Therefore, since we come from stardust, our makeup bears a striking resemblance to nature and the cosmos.

A new study provides further proof that the human brain and the universe have more in common than we think. Of course, the similarities go much deeper than just appearances. In fact, the two have well-defined networks and organizational patterns. The findings were published in Frontiers in Physics on November 16, 2020.

How the study linking the cosmos to the human brain worked

For the study, an astrophysicist and a neurosurgeon used quantitative analysis to compare the complexities of the brain and the Universe. In the brain, the neuronal network creates the structure, and in the universe, galaxies make up a complex system. You’ve probably seen the image online, which shows a side-by-side comparison of a neuron and galaxy cluster. The idea of our brains acting as a mini version of the universe doesn’t seem too farfetched after seeing the pictures.

However, the researchers wanted to dig deeper and uncover the similarities which don’t seem obvious at first glance. Astrophysicist Franco Vazza of the University of Bologna in Italy and neurosurgeon Alberto Feletti of the University of Verona collaborated on the study. They’ve dedicated the last few years of their lives to analyzing the similarities between the universe and the human brain.

Here’s what they discovered so far

The brain and universe have a size difference of 27 orders of magnitude (or a billion billion billion). Of course, the energetic processes which create the structure of the brain and universe differ greatly. However, the researchers say that they both have similar levels of intricacy and self-organization. They dedicated their study to find out more about these structural similarities.

For starters, they found that the human cerebellum contains about 69 billion neurons. The cosmos have about 100 billion galaxies. The team also discovered clearly defined networks running each one, with filaments connecting the nodes of both systems. Again, the neurons in the brain and galaxies in the Universe act as “networks.”

The information and energy that flows between nodes only amount to 25 percent of each system’s mass and energy. Furthermore, the composition of the brain and the universe have stark similarities. While the brain contains about 77 percent water, the universe comprises around 72 percent dark energy. These materials play a passive role in helping the systems function, but the structures couldn’t exist without them.

The study data

After determining the similarities, they compared the structures quantitatively based on side-by-side comparisons. They got samples of the human cerebellum and cortex at various magnifications and compared them to the cosmos’ simulations. They looked specifically for similarities in the matter density fluctuations of each. While the two operated on vastly different scales, the team found similar distribution patterns in the density fluctuations.

“We calculated the spectral density of both systems. This is a technique often employed in cosmology for studying the spatial distribution of galaxies,” Vazza said in a news release. “Our analysis showed that the distribution of the fluctuation within the cerebellum neuronal network on a scale from 1 micrometer to 0.1 millimeters follows the same progression of the distribution of matter in the cosmic web but, of course, on a larger scale that goes from 5 million to 500 million light-years.”

Fascinated by this discovery, the team dug even further and looked at the number of filaments connecting each node. They found the cosmic web, or galaxies, had about 3.8 to 4.1 connections per node on average. The human brain had about 4.6 to 5.4 connections per node. Furthermore, both structures seemed to have more connections around central nodes and have similar information capacities.

In a recent study, researchers found that the human brain can hold about 2.5 petabytes of memory. Another recent study by Vazza suggests that the Universe would need around 4.3 petabytes to hold the entirety of its memories.

Previous studies linking the cosmos to the human brain

In a previous study back in 2017, the researchers wrote that:

“Roughly speaking, this similarity in memory capacity means that the entire body of information that is stored in a human brain (for instance, the entire life experience of a person) can also be encoded into the distribution of galaxies in our universe.”

This doesn’t necessarily mean that the Universe IS a brain or can have an awareness of itself. Although, some scientists and religions believe that the cosmos have intelligence just as we do. However, this study shows that the laws of the cosmos seem to create the universe and brain in the same fashion.

Studies in the past seem to confirm this. According to a 2012 paper about simulations, the causal network which makes up the universe greatly resembles that of the brain. Also, complex systems such as the Internet, and social and biological systems, share this structure. The recent study by Vazza and Feletti could help scientists understand these overarching laws and systems more intricately.

“Once again, structural parameters have identified unexpected agreement levels. Probably, the connectivity within the two networks evolves following similar physical principles, despite the striking and obvious difference between the physical powers regulating galaxies and neurons,” Feletti said.

“These two complex networks show more similarities than those shared between the cosmic web and a galaxy or a neuronal network and the inside of a neuronal body.”

Counselors Explain 15 Reasons Why Spouses Feel Like Strangers After Years of Marriage

December 8, 2020 by Chris Butler

Are you and your spouse as close as the day you married, or have you become strangers? Marriage is joining two souls together to share their life and dreams. At first, everything is blissful with sweet romantic dinners and spending every waking moment together.

However, as the years roll on, you will find that you will go through ebbs and flows, and everything can take a dramatic turn. One minute, they are the greatest thing ever, and the next minute, you’re ready to pack your bags and head for greener pastures. Even on a good day, marriage is complicated.

You have someone in your face and space 24/7, and you must make things work even when you don’t want to. Why is it that so many marriages fail? You hear the divorce statistics, which horrify anyone considering a trip down the aisle.

The person you’ve slept beside for years, helped through the good and bad times, and watched grow and change has become a stranger to you. You’re not alone, as this is common in couples that have been together for many years.

The Many Reasons Why Spouses Become Strangers

What happens in a marriage that makes people turn from living to existing? Marriage counselors would argue that you’re not the same person the day you marry as you are five or even ten years down the line. Life has a way of making or breaking you.

If you’re stuck in this rut, or perhaps you have the seven-year itch and no longer feel content with your spouse. Here are 15 reasons why you and your partner feel more like strangers.

1. There’s A Strong Lack of Communication

When something exciting happens in your life, who is it that you text or call to tell about it? Your spouse should hold the number one position on speed dial. If you’ve stopped communicating, then it’s easy to grow apart.

Think of talking out your problems as diplomacy. Open and fair discussions can clear the air, help set new priorities, and renew your shared plans. But not all conversations must be “heavy.” They can be about the mundane, everyday problems they face.

Can you honestly say you know what happens at their job or with their family? People who stop communicating with each other find someone else to confide in, and many affairs start because one party is just looking for someone to talk to about their life.

Remember that you cannot open up clear lines of communication without being vulnerable. Don’t let the fear of having difficult conversations hold you back. Remember to fight fair if an argument ensues. Covering up the problem by avoiding discussion will only lead to heartbreak.

2. You Bring Your Frustrations Home with You

It’s easy to take your frustrations out on the ones closest to you. You can quickly become strangers if you only use your spouse as a punching bag. They will avoid spending time with you and want to stay out of your way.

You can’t let the frustrations of your day spill over into your home life. It’s one way to push the other person away from you. Leave all the work drama at the door, and don’t let it interfere with your relationship, or soon you won’t have a relationship at all.

At the end of your workday, take time to switch your mind away from workplace woes. A quick 5-minute meditation session or doing some visualization techniques can signal to your brain that it’s time to shift gears.

3. A Lack of Attachment Has Formed

There’s no one specific reason why a lack of attachment forms, as many things can cause it. However, you woke one day and realized they aren’t the most important thing anymore. You can’t put your finger on it, but the feelings you once had are no longer there.

This situation takes a lot of work to fix. Fortunately, you acknowledge the problem–check step one off the list. Now it’s time to make reconnecting with your partner your top priority. Ask them questions—a lot of them. Get to know your partner and permit yourself to fall in love again.

Psychologist and relationship expert Tania Hormozi, PsyD, LMFT, weighs in:

“Love and connection go a long way, but communication keeps your relationship stronger.”

4. You Stopped Dating Each Other

Life can’t be about all work and no play. Dating should never stop when you move in together or get married. There still needs to be special times between the two of you where you throw the cares of life away and have fun.

Find a romantic spot, and give your partner the royal treatment. Make plans based on their favorite things to do, showing that you value their preferences.

5. You’re Married to Your Job

Your job is essential, but does it dominate your entire life. You must make time for each other. Many people become strangers because they only see each other in passing.

Take time away from work. Even if you work many hours in a demanding career, prioritize spending your downtime with your spouse. If you work these long hours, your spouse probably misses your company, which can lead to issue number six.

6. You’ve Grown Apart and Feel Like Strangers

Time changes people, and you can quickly grow apart. Your outlook and personality can change after you weather a few of life’s storms. You may be so altered that you are just a reflection of what used to be, and you’re not the same.

Try to find some commonalities between you. Focusing on what still brings you together is an essential starting point.

7. Neither One of You Is Going in The Same Direction

It’s hard to grow together when you go in opposite directions. If you want to live in North Carolina and your spouse wants to put down roots in Ohio, how can it work with you in two different locations?

Physical distance isn’t always the issue, but emotional distance can destroy a union. Make sure you’re both going in the same direction and have similar goals. Sit down and openly discuss adjusting your goals to suit both of your dreams.

8. You Face Financial Troubles

Money troubles are a big issue. If you’re always fighting overspending problems or a lack of funding to pay the bills, it can make things go sour real quick. Don’t make every conversation about finances an argument.

First of all, money troubles happen to most couples. Don’t blame each other or point fingers.

Second, learn to budget your money–and stick with it! If you want a more analytical eye on your finances, visit a financial planner. This professional can help you develop a spending plan to help you get out of debt.

9. You Fight Constantly

It’s easy to become a stranger when all you do is argue and fight. The other person might walk on eggshells around you and avoids you from having more drama.

Choose your words wisely and pick your battles. Your comments could be what drives a wedge between you and your spouse. Remember that you cannot take back words that you use as a weapon. Step away for a few minutes if you need time to formulate the right thing to say. Reconsider your wording, then come back into the discussion in a calmer manner.

Tonia Hormoze, PsyD. states this advice:

Becoming aware of yourself, the way you speak, the way your tone of voice sounds, and how you communicate when you are sad, angry, or happy are all areas that couples need to learn to be aware of when communicating with their partners.

10. Romance Is Gone

Are you still making love? Do you still kiss goodbye in the mornings and before you go to bed at night? When romance dies without a medical reason, there is something terribly wrong in your relationship. How can you keep a fire burning if there isn’t even a spark?

Perhaps you still recall the butterflies you felt when you first met your partner. Reintroduce the romance by wooing your spouse. It might feel silly at first, but treating it like a new relationship can help you decide if the spark still exists.

11. You Have Bitterness and Resentment

Over the years, you will both do things to and against one another to cause resentment and bitterness. A healthy couple will learn to forgive these blunders and work through any hard feelings.

However, many people let these wounds fester until they become deadly. If you seem like strangers, it could be because you’re harboring much anger and hatred inside.

12. You’ve Found Someone New

Did you know many people have emotional affairs long before engaging physically? One of the reasons your spouse may be strangers is that you’re smitten with someone else. If you are running to another man or woman to talk about your life and dreams, then you are already close to walking out the door.

If you want to save the union, then it’s time to come clean. Admit your affair, and see a relationship counselor to help you rebuild. If not, then your partner deserves the respect of you saying goodbye, honestly. Yes, you will hurt them, but they deserve your honesty.

13. You Do Things as Individuals and Not as A Couple

Do you plan your time off, but it doesn’t include your spouse? Perhaps you go on vacations with your friends rather than your partner. If you find that you’re sitting in a restaurant eating alone or sleeping single in a double bed, then you are already strangers in theory.

To have a successful union, you must be present. Time off should be spent together and not apart. Make them as necessary in your mind and heart as they were the day you met.

14. Divorce Is on Your Mind

Perhaps you’re secretly thinking about divorce, and you have already checked out of the marriage. No wonder the person lying next to you feels like a stranger; you secretly wish them away.

Think carefully before you express this desire to your spouse. However, the sad reality is that sometimes relationships are not meant to be.

15. It’s Just Not Fun Anymore

Remember the gifts and fun that you had when you were dating? You would throw caution to the wind and do something wild and crazy, all in the name of love. Staying up and talking for hours on end was how things began, but now you find yourself in an awkward position.

Go back and revisit the times your partner did something zany to see a smile on your face. What about all the times you laughed until your stomach hurt. The cares of life can ruin any union, but it will only happen if you allow it.

Alarming Statistics About Partners Who Practically Become Strangers

Did you know that where you live can have everything to do with your union?

For instance, on average, couples in Italy stay together for about 18 years, and the divorce rate is less than 30 percent. However, in Qatar, most marriages don’t last even five years, and their divorce rate is almost 70 percent. It’s easy to see from these numbers that outlying factors significantly influence staying together.

Even in the United States, the statistics on divorce change from state to state. While in general, people say that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, the numbers are just generalities. Oklahoma has the highest rate, with more than 65 percent, while Hawaii only has a mere 20 percent divorce rate.

These numbers show that where you live, the environment around you, and economic stances can all contribute to your marital problems.

The best apology is to change behavior. (click here to tweet)

Final Thoughts on Being Married to Someone Who Feels Like a Stranger

When you walked down the aisle, you thought you would grow old and gray together. However, life and time have a way of changing people. You can quickly grow apart or no longer have the same goals and desires.

Some marriages can be fixed with counseling and intervention. It might be worth working on if there were no significant betrayals or other things that require lots of patience and forgiveness.

Consequently, sometimes, it’s better to know that it was good while it lasted, but now it’s time to walk away. Don’t stay in a situation that you’re miserable in, or you will live as strangers who are more roommates than lovers.

Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!