Weekly tips, affirmations, and small actions to feel your best.

4 Ways to Keep Humor Alive in Your Relationship

Humor is a lovely thing, and it can change the entire mood of a room. It makes you feel happier, boosts your outlook on life, and brings other people up with you.

In relationships, that kind of power in a simple, genuine action is essential. However, it’s relatively common for humor to diminish in partnerships the longer a couple is together. Don’t let that happen to your love life!

Here are four ways to keep humor alive in relationships.

1.    Create Funny Situations

The easiest and most obvious way to begin creating humor in your relationships is by creating situations where comedy is natural. This allows you to fall into the habit of laughing together and with each other! Studies have shown that couples that laugh together often enjoy more positive relationships, better relationship satisfaction, and more happiness overall. Here are some ways to create funny situations that keep the humor going!

humor·         Go To Or Listen To A Comedy Special

Comedy specials are designed to make you laugh! They’re all-out belly-laugh-makers, and they’re great for date nights. You can even go to comedy clubs and shows to watch stand-up artists work their magic live. Maybe you’ll find more comedians you love and can watch through there!

·         Watch Funny Shows

Most couples enjoy watching shows together, and a fair few even have “special” or “reserved” shows that they don’t watch without their partner. Why not make one of them a funny one? Find a good show that you’re both interested in binge-watching and has comedic elements. You’ll get the bonding from a shared investment in plot and bonus laughter to boot!

·         Find Common Ground

It’s not unusual for partners to have different senses of humor. Sometimes, it takes a while until you find things that make both of you laugh. It’s okay to need to work on finding comedy and humor that you can enjoy together! Once you find those extraordinary things that make you both chuckle or get to the point of cry-laughing, you’ll know that you can always go back to these things and enjoy them together.

2.    Bond Through Humor

Humor plays a role in a relationship from the very beginning. Making each other laugh at a first meeting makes both parties more attractive to each other – often more so than any physical attractiveness that may also be at play. Humor showcases compatibility, wit, positive thinking, compassion, fun-loving thoughts, intelligence… so many different factors rolled into one!

This is why humor continues to be significant long-term. It’s a reminder of what you love about each other, and it’s a great way to come together and bond. Here are some ways to bond in a relationship while keeping humor alive:

·         Laugh Together

Laughing genuinely together is a pivotal way to bond with anyone, not just a partner. Laughter releases the feel-good hormone endorphin into your mind and body, boosting your positive thinking and making you feel closer to the person you’re laughing with.

·         Create Inside Jokes

There are few things more connective in a relationship than secret knowledge only the two of you share. Inside jokes have that magic plus the benefits of the humor that comes with it! It’s like having a cute little secret, but better, and it’s a testament to the fact that in life, you’re a team.

·         Plan Unique and Creative Dates

There’s nothing wrong with a fancy sit-down dinner or a simple trip to the movies, but there’s also value in spicing it up now and then. Some of your dates should be unique! What does this have to do with humor? Well, there isn’t much opportunity for laughter at a particular restaurant where you’re dressed to the nines. So instead, go to a museum and point out funny details in art. Take a class together and laugh, and you learn. Do some people-watching and crack jokes about fashion senses. You don’t even need to try to find humor in creative dates actively – fun usually arises on its own in these situations!

3.    Use It In Conflict Management

When tensions run high, humor can diffuse them and remind you and your partner that you love each other. It helps both parties look at situations with a little more open-mindedness and a little less anger. You take yourself less seriously and can approach without defensiveness or negativity when you can find humor in a situation. This is because:

·         Humor Makes Things Spontaneous

You aren’t stuck in conventional behavior or manners of thinking, so you view conflict in a different light and can seek more out-of-the-box solutions.

·         Humor Lifts Your Inhibitions

You can express yourself in genuine but less aggressive ways when there’s humor in a conflict. Your deeper feelings will feel more comfortable being put forward because you don’t feel judged or excessively vulnerable to an intimidating degree.

·         Humor Makes You Open To Criticism

You hear and interpret things less seriously when you’re in a mindset of humor. This allows you to listen to genuine critique on your actions or behavior without becoming defensive, as it’s less painful to hear.

·         Humor Puts A Wrench In A Power Struggle

In many conflicts, both parties struggle for “power,” specifically to be heard or to be seen as the “correct” person. You’ll be able to see things with brand new perspectives and reconnect with your partner if those chains don’t bind you.

Research has indicated that humor and positive thinking are good for conflict resolution, but the trick is to learn to do it right. If you don’t already have a humorous vibe in your relationship, using humor to diffuse tension may not be as useful, to begin with. But beyond that, here are a few tips for using humor in the management of conflict:

positive outlook·         Don’t Use Humor As An Emotional Shield

It’s valid and fair to use humor as a general coping mechanism, but it should not be a stand-in for real emotions. It would help if you used humor as a way to make it easier for you to express your more complex feelings, not as a way to deny that you have those feelings at all.

·         You Don’t Need To Be A Genius Master Comedian

It’s common for people to feel too intimidated by the idea of rejection or feeling silly to want to try humor in conflict. Remember, you’re not a stand-up master. You’re a person trying to find common, loving ground with your partner. You love and trust your partner, so trust that they will not judge you for a bad joke. They may find it even funnier when your comedy is terrible!

·         Make Sure Your Partner Is In On The Joke

Your partner has to find a funny situation as you do for humor to be a workable tool. You want to laugh with your partner, not at them. So if your partner doesn’t find anything about the situation comedic and doesn’t engage with an attempt at humor, stop and focus on a different approach.

·         Get Better At Smart Humor

Smart humor means being empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and aware of yourself and your partner. Notice if your partner is uncomfortable through their nonverbal cues. Avoid using humor when it’s clear the situation is too tricky or heartfelt for that. Never be too harsh or mean with humor as a shield if you’re unsure if you’re capable of a cheerful, smart mood yet. Practice in non-conflict situations first until you’ve honed the skill!

4.    Don’t Fear Making A Fool Of Yourself

We all have goofy sides that we’d feel too embarrassed to show to most people. But your partner is likely one of the closest people you have! If you live with them, you probably already know them at least almost as much as they know themselves, and they know the same about you.

So why worry about being silly? A person you love wouldn’t judge you for letting loose and messing around. Making a fool of yourself is one of the most fun ways to keep humor alive! Here are some great ways to do this:

·         Be Goofy

Let your weird streak fly! Dance like a monkey. Jump around like a kid. Make silly faces to express your feelings. Sing horribly out of tune. Do all those things that are entirely whacky, and let your partner see how much fun you can be! The humor can’t possibly die when you both create it regularly!

·         Make That Risque Joke

Think about the more “improper” types of humor you enjoy. Toilet humor? Crude humor? Dark humor? If your partner likes these kinds of humor, too, then show off your mutual love of laughing this way by pulling jokes and other comedic acts in this regard. It tells you both not to take life so seriously and find joy and happiness in the things only both of you can share. It’s also just a very vulnerable sort of humor, which ups the bonding levels!

·         Use Humor In The Bedroom

People often paint intimate activities as a sacred act, but let’s face it – it’s nothing like the books and movies entail! Studies show that humor can create a more positive and satisfying intimate life. Sometimes, things get awkward in the bedroom. Learn to laugh about it, and you’ll be rewarded!

·         Give A Gag Gift

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a bouquet or a sweet card. Still, gag gifts are fun and add some variety to the generic romanticism that most standard offerings provide. They can be just about anything, from a simple card with a joke to something purchased from a novelty store. If it’ll get a chuckle out of your partner, it’s worth a shot; after all, laughter can be a gift, too. (Remember that, when it’s a gift for an important event like an anniversary or birthday, it will likely be a good idea to get a “real” gift alongside the gag gift!)

·         Tease Your Partner

Lighthearted teasing is a beautiful way to develop comedic banter in your relationship. Learn to tease your partner in ways that they enjoy and don’t feel uncomfortable about. Remember what we said about smart humor? That applies here!

humorFinal Thoughts on Some Effective Ways to Keep Humor Alive in Relationships

Humor, used well, is a powerful tool that can bring light and joy to a relationship. So many relationships begin with good humor that it’d be a shame to lose it, so do what you can to keep the spirit alive in yours!

3 Reasons Why Some People Don’t Succeed (And How to Fix It)

Do you ever notice that some people just don’t seem “cut out” for success? At its core, this idea is flawed, as anyone and everyone can succeed. But the fact is that the most unsuccessful individuals tend to have certain traits and habits that contribute to their lack of results.

Are you worried that you’re one of those unsuccessful people? Don’t fret – and read on.

Three Reasons Why Some People Don’t Succeed

Here are 3 reasons why some people don’t succeed, and ways to change that if you’re one of those people.

succeed1.    They Limit Themselves

Success is dependent on an ability to reach for the stars and power through challenges. Unfortunately, a fair number of people limit themselves prematurely, whether unintentionally or otherwise. Here are some ways unsuccessful people may limit themselves:

·         They Don’t Take It Upon Themselves To Continue Learning

There are so many ways to learn in the world. You can read, join workshops or classes, network with others of various talents and skills, practice your craft, and more. People who don’t succeed often simply stop learning, believing it all ends after college. It’s a sad way to accidentally be limited when there’s so much more to learn.

·         They’ve Already Decided What They Can’t Do

People who don’t succeed often fail because they already think they can’t do things. They “know” they’re not good with numbers and they “know” they don’t have what it takes to run a business. These limits are silly because of course, no one knows how to do these things off the bat. The whole point is that you’re supposed to learn and grow with challenges!

·         They Don’t Finish The Things They Start

Everyone can start something, but not everyone can finish it. It takes commitment and dedication more than motivation to finish projects and tasks. People who don’t succeed often fall into the trap of never finishing what they begin, robbing themselves of the results that could have occurred.

·         They Overanalyze and Get Lost In Their Heads

People who don’t succeed can get trapped in rumination and overanalyzing – something studies have shown is bad for mental health. Overthinking, fear and anxiety lead to a reluctance to try, nipping potential in the bud.

2.    Their Focus Is In The Wrong Place

In order to succeed, an individual must focus on the outcome of their success. Their goals must be in mind and they should take regular, consistent steps towards achievement. Unfortunately, that kind of sharp, self-aware focus isn’t always easy to maintain, and people who don’t succeed may feel their concentration waived to unrelated endeavors. Here are some examples:

·         A Focus On Perfectionism

No one should routinely deliver poor-quality work, but no one should be constantly striving to achieve perfection, either. A concentration on physical perfection is a pointless concentration, as nobody’s perfect and mistakes are part of the process. This can just manifest in complete fear of failure, resulting in a reluctance to take risks, further dampening the potential for success.

·         A Focus On The Short-Term

A successful person has to think both the big picture and small picture but usually tending towards long-term sights. People who don’t succeed, on the other hand, think way too small all of the time. Their dreams are limited and focused on short-term goals only, losing out on the potential to build towards something bigger.

·         A Focus On Money

For some people, the only indicator of success that they understand and desire is money. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be rich, but such material pursuits shouldn’t be the main powering drive behind someone’s movement towards success. The money will be lost and gained with the years as you make investments, take risks, and make mistakes. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s the intrinsic value of achievement that will always matter more than the material.

·         A Focus On Things Long Dead

Not all endeavors will be successes. If someone has tried their very best on something for a long time, they may be unable to see when it’s time to move on. There’s a difference between giving up when it gets tough and realizing when you’re beating a dead horse, and people who don’t succeed simply can’t tell the difference.

3.    They’ve Got A Bad Attitude

Attitude counts for a lot in the world of success and failure. Having a positive attitude can take you for miles and miles while a negative one keeps you anchored thousands of leagues beneath the sea. Here are some examples of bad attitudes that people who don’t succeed may have:

·         They Feel Entitled

Yes, everyone deserves basic human rights. Yes, there are inherent disparities in society that mean some people have it easier than others. It’s fine to acknowledge these things and point out when you don’t receive the bare minimum that truly is deserved. But unsuccessful people go a step beyond that. They’re so entitled that they believe they simply deserve success. If other people can have it, then they want it to – without any of the efforts, the other people put into their success!

·         They Have Negative Thinking

Ever meet someone so pessimistic that they always seem to assume the worst? Well, those people rarely ever become successful. They’re essentially blocking themselves from success by turning their words into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

·         They Refuse Any and All Assistance

Being independent and self-sufficient is great. Being a lone wolf who refuses any valuable help or input? Not so much. Everyone needs a hand every now and then, but unsuccessful people falsely believe that accepting help makes them weak. Worse still, this means they lose out on valuable perspectives and insights from others, which can stifle success significantly.

·         They Don’t Believe In Themselves

At the end of the day, a person has little to no hope in succeeding if they don’t think they’re capable of achieving their goals, no matter what they do. Once again, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If that’s the mindset someone has, why even bother working towards success in the first place?

pop meme3 Ways To Change Your Success For The Better

How can you live better? Try these three things.

1.    Form A Vision And Know How To Get There

Success begins with a vision. What do you want in your future? What are your goals, dreams, and aspirations? These components will help form a direction for you to follow, providing you with motivation to begin and a sense of purpose to keep you consistently going.

Learning to visualize the success you want is a powerful way to continually draw inspiration from yourself. Imagine yourself a month from now, a year from now, or even ten years from now. Where do you want to be at those points?

Now that you’ve done that visualization, you need a plan on how to make those visions a reality. Setting goals is an important step in your journey towards success. Set a range of short-term goals leading up to bigger long-term goals, all with their own deadlines, and track your progress.

People who don’t succeed often make the mistake of doing a lot of unproductive tasks that don’t line up with their goals. That’s why you need to maintain positive thinking and keep taking steps towards those ideals, especially if you want a better chance at achieving success!

2.    Be Willing To Do Better

Success is all about doing better. It means continually striving to best yourself, time and time again. If your heart and soul aren’t in that mission with positive thinking, you’re going to have a harder time achieving your success. Here are some ways you must be willing to do better:

·         Try Again

You’re going to make lots of mistakes on your way to success. That’s just how it goes! The sooner you get comfortable with that idea, the better. Every single time you mess up, be willing to learn from the fall and get up again without feeling overly discouraged. You’ll have to try and try again many, many times, so be ready!

·         Don’t Stop Learning

We’ve discussed the multitude of ways people can continue to learn in life and how sad it is when someone limits themselves by deciding to stop learning. Apply that lesson to yourself. Keep your mind engaged and keep honing your current skills and learning new ones, even when that’s not required of you!

·         Go The Extra Mile

While there should be some degree of balance in your methods, it goes without saying that striving for success means making sacrifices and going above and beyond to achieve your goals. Instead of doing the bare minimum, go the extra mile. You’ll learn more, build positive traits, and make better progress.

3.    Build Positive Thinking

If you want to succeed, then your brain has to be in the right game for it. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re probably right – so choose positive thinking and watch your dreams actualize in front of you! Here are some ways to use positive thinking to move towards success:

·         Be Grateful

People often forget to appreciate all the things they have in life. Gratitude has been shown to have positive effects on wellbeing and happiness. It’s a useful trait for success, as it reminds you to celebrate the little wins and be thankful for the lessons in your failures.

·         Ignore The Haters

There will always be critics, and while constructive criticism is a perfectly fine thing, naysayers will go out of their way to demean you and your work. The good news is that if you want to succeed, you only need your own self-belief. When your motivation comes from within, you can smile at haters and bid them no mind.

·         No More Excuses – Only Progress!

Positive thinking often means being able to take failures and setbacks and accept accountability for them. It also means learning when it’s time to be honest with yourself instead of making negative excuses. To be successful, tune in to your goals for progress and leave behind the dark clouds of excuse.

succeedFinal Thoughts On Reasons Why Some People Don’t Succeed And Ways To Change That

Success looks different to different people, and that’s fine. But if you find that you’re not meeting your own personal definitions of success, no matter how hard you try, it may be time to look inward and find out why.

7 Behaviors That Increase Awareness and Improve Your Life

There are two types of people in this world. Some individuals wait on the sidelines and react to what life hands them, while others are proactive and make things happen. These people display an innate awareness.

Which type of person are you?

Did you know that you can live your entire life and not know yourself? Self-awareness goes more in-depth than knowing your name, your vital statistics, and your history. It’s about realizing your life’s purpose and what brings your soul true satisfaction.

When you are aware of yourself as a person, you pay more attention to how you think and feel. You are better able to explain yourself and the world around you.

You are also more in tune with your emotions and how you feel instead of changing them. It’s offering compassion to yourself as you notice your thoughts and feelings. Not only do you react to your positive emotions, but you learn to cope with the negative ones and not sweep them under the rug.

Five Benefits of Self-Awareness

awarenessSelf-awareness allows you to be more observant of your behavior in various situations. How do you respond, and what are your normal tendencies, good or bad? Observing your behavior helps you make changes where necessary to improve your life.

• Mood Stability

Physical and mental health has much to do with how your emotions fluctuate. However, some of your mood stability depends on the actions and choices you make each day. As you become more aware of how your body, mind, and emotions interact, it may become easier to stabilize your moods.

• Improved Mental Clarity

When you’re unsure of yourself and base your decisions purely on emotions, you may not like the results of your choices. Sometimes, you may be guided by impulse and short-term satisfaction. A fuller self-awareness can lend clarity to your decision-making skills and working toward your long-term goals.

• Improved Relationships

Healthy relationships are based on giving and receiving. You know each other’s wants and needs and try to satisfy them. How can you tell someone what you need in a relationship if you aren’t clear about your needs in the first place? Knowing yourself better solidifies what you want and need.

You are also more aware of your strengths and what you have to offer your partner’s needs. Such interaction makes for fewer assumptions and misunderstandings that can break a relationship. You can’t know someone else’s heart until you know your own.

• Better Communication

When you have better mental clarity and a sense of what you want, it’s easier to communicate with others. You can be assertive and passionate about your feelings without being overbearing. Being aware of yourself also helps you become a better listener and realize the value of other people’s thoughts and opinions.

• Higher Productivity

Are you a procrastinator? A study published by Psychological Reports states that procrastination is often caused by intrusive thoughts and a lack of self-regulation. Of course, this is going to bring an adverse effect on your daily productivity.

It’s normal to be preoccupied with an acute problem that hinders you from what you need to accomplish. However, it becomes a chronic issue when you can’t function at work or home because you can’t stay focused. When you are more aware of yourself, it can help you clear away some of the thoughts and habits that block your productivity.

Seven Behaviors to Improve Your Self-Awareness and Improve Your Life

Being more aware of yourself is just like any other skill. It takes practice, determination, and patience. Here are seven behaviors you should develop.

pop meme1. Meditation

One of the best ways to get to know yourself better is to get inside your head. It’s a major benefit of learning how to meditate. You needn’t be a guru on an isolated hillside to enrich your life and self-clarity with meditation.

The goal of meditation is to learn how to reconnect with your mind and spirit to bring awareness. As you sit or lie quietly for a few minutes, you are bound to have irritating random thoughts. Acknowledge them with compassion and allow them to float away like clouds in the sky.

As you continue your meditation practice, you soon realize that you are more than just your thoughts. They come and go, but they don’t define you. It becomes easier to keep the thoughts and beliefs that work for you and discard those that don’t help.

2. Journaling

Have you ever had an incident or thought one day that you wish you would have remembered? These little nuances make up the puzzle pieces of who you are. To supplement your memory, creativity, awareness, and to know yourself better, try journaling.

You don’t have to make it a tough, dreaded chore. Make journaling a meaningful experience and jot down events, thoughts, or anything you want. Your journal can be a pen and paper or a blog on your computer.

You needn’t share your thoughts with anyone unless you choose. Occasionally, reflect on past entries and see how your awareness has grown. What may have been confirmed for you a few months ago may not be the same today.

3. Learn a New Skill

Boredom can poison your joy and keep you from enjoying your best life. Are you stuck in a rut? Perhaps expanding your skill sets may be the thing that kicks your life in gear again.

As you meditate and journal, what are some of your aspirations? Are you living up to your potential, or are you just existing? All things need to learn as they grow to sustain life.

Why not embark on a new skill? Perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn to play the guitar or cast clay on a potter’s wheel. Local universities and community colleges usually offer specialized classes at reasonable costs. According to a study published by the Journal of Memory and Language, learning new skills can also benefit your memory training.

4. Identify Faults and Shortcomings

Nobody likes to admit that they’ve messed up. However, it’s the mature people who are better aware of themselves who can accept it. Do you quickly admit fault, or do you have a habit of shifting blame to somebody else?

You have the same benefits of listing your strengths when you also have an awareness of your shortcomings. Are you often impatient, or do you snap out of anger then regret it later? Maybe you’ve stored bitterness and grief in your heart.

All this mental clutter prevents you from being aware of your true self. You can only see the pain, resentment, and love undone. The sooner you identify your faults, the quicker you can declutter your heart, mind, and soul. Apologies, forgiveness, and making amendments allow clear the muddy windows of your soul so you can finally see who you are.

5. Break from Routine

If you didn’t have some routines, your activities for daily living would be almost impossible. However, rigid habits can impede your growth and minimize your curiosity and creativity. There’s refreshing freedom when you let down your hair and do something spontaneous occasionally.

Being spontaneous doesn’t necessarily mean you quit your job to go backpacking across Europe. It means that you can break from the norm within reason. Doing something different can make you more aware of your capabilities and what you enjoy.

When was the last time you took a mini weekend vacation to explore a place you’ve never been? Instead of going to the same restaurant and ordering the usual, why not find a new place and try a dish you’ve never tasted? How will you ever know that you love skydiving unless you experience it?

6. Ask for Opinions from Others

This suggestion isn’t as simple as it seems. If you’re going to ask someone to give you honest feedback about yourself, be strong and gracious enough to take it. When it comes from someone who cares for you, you know they will be open and aren’t trying to hurt you.

However, the truth often hurts, but you can use it to better understand your words and actions. Many times, you may do and say things without even thinking. Genuine feedback can help you learn from your shortcomings and make changes.

In the beginning, talk about small things that you can change. Avoid starting with monumental issues that can be overwhelming. Try your best to be an active listener and don’t get defensive. Yes, you’re not always going to be happy with what you hear, but you did ask for feedback, and it can help you.

Thank your trusted friend or loved one for their honesty and for making a concerted effort to help you change.

7. Write Your Mini Autobiography

How can you know where you are going in life unless you know from where you came? In a section of your journal, consider writing a brief autobiography. It needn’t be exhaustive, but just a general timeline of your life.

Can you identify what you learned from the high points and low points of your journey? These realizations help you with the awareness of who you are. Remember, your future depends on this information, and your past is irrelevant.

awarenessFinal Thoughts on Being Aware of Yourself

Only a few mortals in history allegedly attained self-actualization or perfection. However, you can take steps to practice awareness of who you are, what you believe, and why. The first step is to be curious and ask yourself challenging questions.

5 Ways To Turn Your Breakup Into A Breakthrough

Breakups are difficult moments. You’ll feel heartbroken and eat ice cream out of the tub as you reminisce on all the fun times you had with your ex. You’ll feel sorry for yourself for days, if not weeks or even months. But, inevitably, you’ll move on – or so we hope!

The trouble with the cycle of breakups and dating is that so many people continue to perform the same trends in their dating life over and over again. If that sounds like you, then you’re probably slowly getting disillusioned with love. Yikes!

So, what can you do about this? You can begin by taking your breakup and using that pain as a tool to grow and improve yourself. It doesn’t sound very easy, but it’s workable! Here are five ways to convert your breakup into a breakthrough.

1.    Reflect On The Breakup

Maybe you were hit with a post-breakup realization, or you are now falling apart without them. Whatever the case may be, it can be tempting to go back, kiss, and repair the relationship. But remember – you broke up with them in the first place for a reason.

breakthrough breakup·         Why The Breakup?

Unpleasant as it may be, it’s important to remind yourself why you’re in this predicament. Things don’t happen randomly – something brought you here, and those reasons are valid. They must be honored and reflected upon post-breakup so you can achieve a breakthrough.

·         Balancing The Positive With The Negative

Positive thinking is good and all, but a study has shown that focusing on positive memories can worsen one’s heartache while reflecting on the negative helps exes recover and heal faster. While obviously, you shouldn’t focus entirely on the negative aspects and demonize your partner, it’s important to note that attachment feelings don’t just magically vanish. They can be hard to deal with in the aftermath of a breakup, especially if you don’t want them. With that in mind, reminding yourself about your ex’s negative qualities or the wrong parts of the relationship can help keep those rose-tinted glasses away.

·         Noting Any Patterns

Reflecting post-breakup is a great way to note down some patterns – be it in the partners you choose, the problems that crop up, the way you react to certain situations, or even how your relationships end every time. This way, you can make sure that you can note down the lessons you learned from this last relationship and use them to break the cycle for a healthier future partnership.

2.    Let Yourself Feel The Pain

Denial is part of the five stages of grief for a reason. After cutting out a significant figure in our life, it is only human to be wrecked by our emotions – and they often feel too heavy to bear.

It’s tempting to distract yourself with all sorts of things to dull the pain during this breakthrough. But this isn’t helpful in the long run. Instead, remember that:

·         You Are Allowed To Feel

Pain is indicative that something is wrong. It draws your attention to the issue and asks you to fix it. To ignore your heartache, then, would be to overlook the actual cause – that you are grieving. Grieving is only a natural step in the process of separation. You feel loss, and to grieve is to acknowledge. So shed tears for what was and what could’ve been. So permit yourself to cry – it allows you to give yourself closure on an emotional level and learn from it for your future relationships.

·         The End Is Only The Beginning

To begin a new chapter, the previous chapter must come to an end. Allowing yourself to acknowledge your frustration and loss gives you a chance to confront the sources of those hurt. From there, you can rebuild. Your emotions will come out one way or another. Thus, facing your feelings in their purest and most authentic form allows you to ensure that you can channel them into appropriate, constructive spaces to have a genuine breakthrough.

·         You Need A Game Plan

Positive thinking is a tool, not a crutch. Ultimately, you’ll still need a recovery plan – and taking the time to identify where and how you hurt is the key to formulating the right course of action. This is because feeling your pain and grief allows you to understand yourself better, which is necessary to better yourself—for example – feeling lost and abandoned? Look towards getting professional help or reconnecting to the lives of those around you once more.

3.    Limit Contact With Your Ex

Even if it was a bad relationship, learning how to be alone once more is difficult – and staying in contact with an ex you still hold a flame for won’t do you any favors.

Research has shown that:

·         You’ll Struggle To Move On

Maintaining a friendly relationship may seem like a good thing at first, but it can quickly stoke delusions of reconciliation as false hope develops. Jealousy can quickly develop, too, especially when either one of you starts moving on. Either way, you’ll end up prolonging the recovery process as that possibility of coming back together remains tantalizingly within your reach – even though it’s all fake or unhealthy.

·         It Can Be Distressing

Keeping tabs on your ex’s social media can become an obsessive compulsion. It can also tear open old wounds or rub salt into pre-existing ones. As a result, it fuels any number of unhealthy thought patterns you may have. For example, you might get increasingly frustrated and angry that the breakup seemingly isn’t affecting them as severely – and that may drive you to irrational thoughts or behavior.

·         You Need Space To Heal, or You Can’t Have the Breakthrough You Need

Even if it’s a temporary measure, drawing up a strong ‘No Connection’ boundary will be healthiest for both of you. It’ll give you both privacy and space to recover, and from there, learn how to be separate individuals once more.

pop meme4.    Focus On Yourself to Achieve a Breakthrough

Nobody likes being the source of something negative, especially when it’s something so near and dear to one’s heart. You might find yourself wanting to blame anyone or anything but you as the cause of your relationship coming to an end. This isn’t helpful. Nor is it healthy.

·         Don’t Fixate

Most of us want to find the closure that will make us feel better and answer or explain what happened and how it all went so wrong. To some degree, this isn’t a bad thing – a little bit of self-reflecting and examination is suitable for everyone. Where it goes wrong is when you pore over it for months or years on end. Going through every single beat of your relationship won’t help you in any way. At some point, you’ll have to close the chapter on your terms – regardless of how unsatisfactory or complete that closure feels.

·         Don’t Push Around Blame

Your trauma and pain are authentic, and you must acknowledge them. However, trying to validate it by lashing out at your ex or those around you will only make things worse. Not only will it merely prolong the pain and suffering (without addressing the real cause), but you may end up hurting and isolating those around you who wanted to help you in the first place. Instead, focus on facts and accept that what’s done is done, and move on with your life.

·         Stay In The Present, Plan For The Future

The past has gone, which begs the question – who are you now? What will you become? These can be painful questions to answer, but they are necessary for you to move forward with your life and dreams. Anchoring yourself here and now brings attention to what you have in your hand presently, rather than what you’ve lost. This allows you to reconstruct once more who you are as a person separate from your relationship and guide you towards being whole again as an individual.

5.    Be Kind To Yourself

Perhaps you sit on the other end of the spectrum. Maybe you’re replaying memories over and over in your head, wondering what you could’ve done better. Perhaps you are taking on responsibilities that were never yours and punishing yourself because you feel like you deserve worse.

·         Emotions Are Not Facts

When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s easy to assume that if it feels so, then it is so. In reality, this isn’t the case – facts and feelings are two separate things. Just because you feel like you deserve punishment or responsible for something doesn’t mean you are. As such, bear in mind that no matter how you think about something, it should be kept in check with logical, factual observation. Ask yourself – is there a practical, objective reason for this statement, or is it an emotion-based statement you’re trying to pass off as factual?

·         Don’t Wallow – It Blocks Your Breakthrough Moment

Beating yourself up because you feel and think as if you deserve it won’t change anything. You may feel better temporarily, but it’s a vicious cycle that reinforces any negative self-beliefs you may already have. Research shows that the best way to counteract this is by picturing yourself care and compassion. This allows you to recover better and more thoroughly from a breakup, as you support yourself positively from the inside out. Additionally, this makes it easier for others to help you too!

·         Care For Yourself You Would A Loved One

To do this, treat yourself as someone you care about. If you wouldn’t say this statement to someone you love who’s going through the same situation, then you shouldn’t be saying it to yourself either – no ifs or buts about it. Replace it instead with something else you would tell a loved one to make them feel better. What would you say to a loved one in your shoes?

breakthrough breakupFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Convert Your Breakup Into A Breakthrough

Breakups are often unavoidable. They’re such a standard part of life and love that it’s rare never to experience once in your lifetime. So don’t be stuck in a stagnant state of falling in and out of love non-stop. Instead, turn your breakups into breakthroughs and level up in your romantic life each time with better relationships and healthier dating habits!

15 Ways to Overcome The Fear of Rejection

The sting of rejection hurts, and there’s no way to avoid it. Even the strongest people often feel psychological and emotional distress after they’ve been rejected. The feeling to belong and connect with other people is an instinct born in humans, and the fear of rejection can make you shy away from good experiences.

Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes. You can be denied for a position you applied for that would bring more money to your family, or you can be turned down by a love interest who stole your heart. Whatever the vehicle that brings rejection into your life, it isn’t a pleasant experience.

Part of the reason why this heartache cuts like a knife is because rejection prompts the same region of the brain as physical pain. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine, the right ventral prefrontal cortex registers this emotional pain on the same level as something you experience in your body.

Given this scientific information, it’s easy to see why so many people fear rejection, and they will do anything to avoid it. Understandably, you want to do anything possible to shield your heart from any further distress.

Fifteen Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

fear of rejectionThe fear of feeling that kind of hurt can keep you from taking risks in life and reaching goals you want to accomplish. Thankfully, you can alter your mindset so that you can overcome this fear and live the life you’ve always envisioned.

Here are 15 ways to conquer your fear of rejection and learn that stepping out of your comfort zone will not always mean disappointments.

1. Know Your Worth

Many people struggle with the fear of rejection because they don’t know their worth. If you own a precious stone, like a diamond, do you see the value of this gem? Why wouldn’t you value your own life more than that of a rock?

Make a list of all your attributes. While you cannot put a price tag on your worth, you can certainly use this list to help overcome your low self-esteem.

2. Validate Your Feelings

No one says that rejection is easy, and when you’ve been hurt so deeply, it’s okay to validate that feeling. An easy way to get it all out is through journaling.

Write down who hurt you, the situation, and how you’re going to get over it. Don’t hold grudges but validate your feelings of unworthiness and move on.

3. Reject the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophecy is? If you believe that you will never meet anyone to share your life with, you won’t meet anyone. It would be best if you had the right mindset to achieve greatness.

People won’t be attracted to someone who is down on themselves, and neither will prospective employers. Stop letting the past dictate your future, as it’s doing nothing but holding you back.

4. Focus on How You Want to Be

Don’t focus on what happened yesterday but set your sights on your future. Vision boards are great ways to see where you are now and help you navigate the future. If you are continually turning around looking at all your disappointments, how can you focus on the growth and prosperity ahead?

5. You’re Not Alone in These Feelings

Fear can be isolating, and it can grip the very fibers of your being. However, you can take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. People have been facing rejection since the dawn of time, and it’s nothing that’s going to go away.

You need to learn practical coping skills for when these low blows occur.

6. Use Positive Affirmations

Instead of speaking negativity into your being, why not try the power of positive thinking? Positive affirmations are a useful tool to help you boost your esteem. How can you feel disappointed in yourself if you are constantly reminding yourself of things like:

•I am loved.

•I will accomplish anything I set my mind to do.

•I’ll get the job I’ve always wanted.

•I am surrounded by people who are supporting me.

•I will find the man/woman of my dreams.

7. Face the Fear Head On

Have you ever heard of exposure therapy? Have you ever watched one of the talk shows where they bring people closest to their worst fears to heal them? Some people fear things like aluminum foil or mayonnaise, while others have more severe fears like driving a car or rejection.

This type of therapy is used commonly with people that have PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder. In theory, an event that happened in the past is haunting you, so exposure therapy is a good choice. According to an article published by the National Library of Medicine, when a person is exposed to the stimuli in a safe environment, they can let their anxiety rise and then come back down.

Essentially, it would help if you faced your fear head on to learn how to conquer it. Put yourself in situations where you know you will be rejected and feel those emotions but move on. The more you are exposed to the situation, the less impact it will have on you.

pop meme8. Remember You Will Survive

Remind yourself continuously that rejection isn’t going to kill you. With every risk you take in life, there is a 50/50 chance of success. So, you have just as much of a chance of winning as you do of losing, but the only thing that will be hurt is your pride.

9. Redefine the Meaning of Rejection

Perhaps the reason why rejection hits you so hard is how you’ve defined it in your mind. You may see being rejected and relate it to a horrible childhood incident, or it may trigger abuse that happened to you. You need to redefine rejection and come to terms with what it means to you versus what it is.

10. Gain Proper Perspective and Clarity

It’s helpful to talk to someone else to help you gain some perspective from the situation. Maybe you asked a girl or guy out on a date and felt the pangs of their rejection.

However, it might not have been you that they were rejecting; it could have everything to do with where they’re in life. If you see the situation from all sides, it will help you put things into perspective and clarify things.

11. Don’t Give It Power

The more power you give something, the stronger it will be to overcome. If you have a sore on your arm, it will go away in a few days. However, what if you continually pick at this sore and aggravate it?

The bacteria from your hands can get into it and cause the germs to spread, which will cause an unsightly issue. A situation that could have taken a few days to recover from is now going to take weeks. The same analogy rings true for rejection.

The more you dwell on it and pick at the situation, the more pronounced the fear will become. Something that started small can fester into a huge mental stumbling block.

12. Use It for Self-Discovery and Growth

Most things in life can be used as a growing experience. Think of relationships you’ve had in the past that didn’t work. There are always some good parts as well as some bad.

You take the good things and carry them on eagerly, but you take the bad and use them as a lesson. Let your fear of rejection become a lesson that motivates you to greatness.

13. Try Therapy

Many different types of therapy can help you to overcome your fears. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the most used ones today, and it’s extraordinarily successful. When dealing with mind over matter issues, having a professional who knows the mind’s inner workings can help immensely.

14. Learn to Meditate Away the Negative

Meditation is an excellent tool for clarifying the noise in your mind by learning to become centered. This ancient art has been used for centuries to help those that need grounding and clarity. Both guided and unguided versions can help conquer your fears and put anxiety to rest.

15. Set Yourself Up to Win

While there’s no way to protect yourself from being rejected, you can put yourself in situations where you know you’ll win. In card games, people stack the odds in their favor before making a bet, so they know they will be victorious.

Don’t try out for jobs that you probably won’t get, and don’t ask people out that you know you won’t be interested in. Ensure that you have a full house before you jump; it just reduces the odds and can subside your fear of rejection.

fear of rejectionFinal Thoughts on The Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection and being rejected stings badly, and the worst part is that it can make you doubt yourself and your abilities. However, if you give in to this fear, it will limit you and prevent you from experience so much in life. Some of the worst things that happen to you in life can be used for growth and change.

The pain of being rejected will eventually fade and will become nothing more than a memory. It won’t matter as much then as it does now, but if you keep feeding this fear, it can impact you for a lifetime.

Don’t let yesterday stand in your way of a bright tomorrow. You have the power to conquer the fear of rejection and reach every goal you set.

10 Behaviors That Cause Painful Feelings After a Breakup

Breaking up leads to feelings of inner-turmoil, pain, and sometimes even relief. Emotions can have you so attached to a person that you don’t know how to move on. That’s what causes these unsettled painful feelings.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of – it can happen to the most emotionally healthy person in the world. Being emotional – feeling things – is being human. It’s what makes us loving, compassionate creatures in the first place.

10 Behaviors That Might Cause Those Post-Breakup Painful Feelings

However, there are times when you must cut the connection so you can settle those feelings and move on. Certain behaviors can prevent you from doing that. You should avoid the ten behaviors below to prevent painful feelings.

unsettled1. Keeping in touch.

One of the worst and most confusing things you can do is to stay in touch with an ex after you’ve had a clear break up. This can cause some seriously mixed emotions as well as tempt you to make some bad choices. More importantly, it keeps you from healing from the situation.

When you break up with someone, it doesn’t matter who did the breaking up. It would help if you moved forward. You need to breathe. It’s understandable that you’re going to be emotional for a while and keeping in touch with your ex doesn’t allow you to work through those emotions properly.

In the words of Dua Lipa, “I got new rules. I count ’em.” The rules she was speaking of were rules of getting over an ex, and keeping out of touch was the theme of them all.

2. Being in denial.

It may be hard to hear and impossible to fathom, but your relationship is over and you need to move on. Your ex is not coming back. Being in denial about it doesn’t allow you to grieve and heal. You’ll be stuck with a bunch of unsettled feelings.

Remember that you can’t force someone to be with you. It would be best if you also valued yourself enough not to want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Letting go of the relationship will hurt, but it will leave you open to find the right one.

3. Denying your feelings.

Just as you may deny the breakup, you may deny your feelings about the breakup. This is just as bad as not recognizing the end of the relationship. It prevents you from going through the grieving and healing process.

There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are in love with the person and that you’re heartbroken the relationship has ended. You need to recognize those feelings in order to get over them. Otherwise you’ll harbor them until your psyche can’t contain them anymore. If this happens, you could end up making a bunch of emotionally-charged bad decisions.

4. Dating too soon after a breakup.

Some people seem to bounce back quickly from a break up and some of them may genuinely be okay. However, chances are that most of them aren’t. They aren’t ready to date anyone. They’re just lonely.

That’s how rebound dates occur. On some level, a rebound date might help you face the break up. However, what’s likely to occur is that the new person realizes they are simply a rebound and their feelings get hurt.

This can make you feel even worse. You can prevent this by simply giving yourself enough time to heal before you hit the dating scene. Once you’re ready, you can start the search for your true love without being broken.

5. Hostility towards your ex.

Okay, so you were told not to deny your feelings. However, showing aggressiveness and violence towards your ex was not what that bit of advice was about. Violence never solves anything.

Perhaps you think if you’re crazy enough, your ex will see how much you love him/her and come running back to you. That’s not going to happen. You may make matters worse by getting yourself arrested or having a restraining order put on you.

Besides the obvious stuff, showing hostility towards someone takes a lot of focused energy. That means that you aren’t focusing on what’s important – getting over the relationship. This creates a whole host of unsettled feelings and, unfortunately these unsettled feelings could be fuel for the hostility. It’s a nasty cycle that is bad news for everyone involved.

pop meme6. Closing yourself off.

When you’re emotionally in pain, it can be hard to mingle with people. The last thing you want to do is be around happy people who act as if your pain doesn’t exist. You want to be alone.

That’s exactly what you need to avoid doing after a break up. Being around friends and family is one of the best ways to deal with ill feelings. They’ll remind you that you have so much more than your ex. They’ll remind you that life can be good again.

Being alone only gives you time to roost in your emotions. This can make it hard to get out of them. Don’t close yourself off to people when you need them most.

7. Not admitting your role in the breakup.

Unless you’re a narcissist, you shouldn’t have a problem admitting your fault in the breakup. Some people are truly not at fault, but in many cases there were mistakes made by both partners. Admitting to your mistakes can help you accept what happened, heal, and vow to never make those mistakes again.

Unfortunately, if you aren’t willing to admit to those mistakes, you can’t grow from them. You’ll likely get stuck in those unsettled feelings as well. Perhaps you need to talk to someone. It can be a friend, family member, or a therapist – you need someone to help you get that guilt out.

8. Wanting closure.

When your heart feels crushed, and especially when you didn’t see it coming, you’ll feel like you need closure. So many people get stuck in this desire for closure that they waste time in their lives and never truly move on. However, it would be best if you ditched this desire for closure because you already have it.

What you need to realize is that the break up is closure. Your partner didn’t want to be with you for whatever reason and that’s it. It is a hard pill to swallow, but having another conversation with your partner, one more kiss, one last date, or one more steamy bedroom session isn’t going to make you feel better. In fact, it will probably make you feel worse.

9. Wanting to get back with your ex.

Maybe you weren’t the one who wanted to break up. Perhaps you were the one who wanted to end things but now you’ve realized that you made a mistake. Unfortunately, in most cases, it’s too late to take it back.

Love is a strong emotion and it’s hard to turn it off. However, after a break up, you must find a way to let go. Continuously wanting to get back with your ex, especially after they’ve told you that there is no chance of getting back together, will only cause you to harbor unsettled feelings.

Letting go of someone you love is no easy task. You must realize that the only solution is time. If you follow the previous tips (especially the no contact rule), and give yourself enough time, the bond will fade away. It’s like that old saying goes, “out of sight, out of mind.”

10. Denying feelings of depression.

Being sad after a break up is normal. It’s even normal to be sad for a while as you deal with all of those feelings and emotions. However, sometimes sadness can turn into depression.

Depression isn’t an emotion, it’s a mental issue that some people can’t shake on their own. It should be dealt with accordingly. Depression can get in the way of dealing with feelings from a bad break up.

Sometimes it can be hard to determine if a person merely is sad or if they’re depressed. The line is thin, mostly since depression can range from mild to severe. To diagnose depression, a person must suffer from several symptoms for at least two weeks. Here are some signs of a clinically depressed person:

  • Feeling empty and hopeless all day rather than bouts of sadness.
  • Weight loss or weight gain.
  • Irritability.
  • Feeling worthless or guilty.
  • Speaking or moving more slowly than usual.
  • Fatigue or decreased energy.
  • Difficulty sleeping.
  • Loss of interest in activities they used to like.
  • Suicidal ideologies.

Depression is a scary situation because so many depressed people commit suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. in 2018 and the second leading cause of death among American citizens 10 to 34 years old. If you or someone you know is displaying symptoms of depression, get help as soon as possible.

unsettledFinal Thoughts on Unsettled Feelings After a Break Up

Human emotions are strong – so much so that they can be debilitating for a person. That’s why breakups are so hard to get over. When you are so emotionally invested in someone and things end, you can be left with a flurry of unsettled emotions and no way to deal with them.

The good news is that it all goes away. By avoiding the ten behaviors above, you can be emotionally whole again. Just give yourself time, let yourself heal, and you’ll come out stronger than before.

15 Science-Proven Habits That Improve Acne-Prone Skin

There’re few things as embarrassing as a blemish. It seems these unsightly bumps pop up when you have something important going on and need to look your best. If you have acne-prone skin, you may need to do things differently to keep zits at bay.

Are you tired of over-the-counter treatments that have little to no effect on your blemishes? There are many natural things you can do that will make a world of difference in your skin. Most of the things that will help your acne-prone skin won’t cost you one cent.

Fifteen Ways to Improve Acne-Prone Skin

If you’re ready to kiss those zits goodbye, then you should try some science-backed methods that will help with clogged pores and teach you how to cleanse your face for the best results. Here are the top 15 ways to get glowing and clear skin without using harsh chemicals.

acne-prone1. Don’t Touch Your Face

Why are so many people fascinated with touching their faces? Unless you have impeccably clean hands, leave your face alone. All the oils and dirt from touching the surfaces of thousands of things are transferred to your face, which is going to cause you problems.

You know that excessive dirt and oil on your face are going to cause zits to form. Remind yourself every time you feel inclined to pluck, pop, or rub your face that you’re only going to cause more breakouts.

Plus, you also transfer germs from surfaces you touch too, which can make you sick. It’s just best if you don’t touch your face, no matter how tempting.

2. Wash Your Face Often

When you have acne-prone skin, you need to wash your face more often. Don’t just use any old soap on your delicate skin, either. Opt for a special soap made with antibacterial or antifungal properties for a thorough cleansing.

It would help if you were washing your face at least two times a day and anytime you sweat after exercising. There’s no such thing as washing too much, so make sure you lather up.

3. Change Your Diet

What you’re eating could be what’s eating you. If you have a diet full of processed foods and sugar and carbs, it can increase your acne issues. Nutritional deficiencies could be at the source of your pimples.

Changing your diet may be the key to ending this blemish nightmare. According to a study published by the National Institute of Health, chocolate itself doesn’t cause acne. However, the other things you eat can certainly be contributing factors.

4. Check Your Testosterone Levels

Women and men both have testosterone, which is a powerful hormone that keeps things balanced. However, if a ladies’ testosterone level is off, it can cause you to be more acne-prone. Check your levels and make sure it’s not a hormone imbalance causing your issues.

5. Improve Gut Bacteria

Studies are being conducted on the importance of gut bacteria. Recently the connection between gut and brain health has become well recognized. The key is to include more fiber into your daily intake.

Fiber helps the bacteria in the gut to flourish. When the gut bacteria are out of balance, it can cause leaky gut and inflammation in the body. If you’ve looked closely at your blemishes, then you will see they are the direct result of an inflammatory response.

According to Fiona Lawson Nutrition, your gut bacteria is the key to clearing acne.

6. Avoid Dairy Products

Are you lactose intolerant? Of all the food allergies, dairy products seem to be among the most common ones that irritate the digestive system. Some folks seem to break out in pimples after consuming things like ice cream, yogurt, milk, or cheese.

Try to avoid anything dairy for a month and see if it helps to improve your skin. Chances are, it could be the key to getting those blemishes under control.

7. Drink More Water

Did you know that water provides natural skin cleansing and helps to keep the body hydrated? The reasoning behind this is that your skin is the largest organ in your body. It needs more hydration than anything else.

You need to consume at least eight glasses of water each day. If you should get dehydrated, then your skin will undoubtedly pay the price.

large pores

Here are ten tips to help you reduce the appearance of large pores.

8. Use Anti-Microbial Agents

You don’t need to head to your local pharmacy to find a pricey antimicrobial agent. There are many herbal medicines that you might already have on hand. Did you know that raw garlic is often used for inflammatory conditions, and it can be beneficial to acne?

Other herbs that can be helpful to inflammatory issues are burdock, marigold, and echinacea. Using these herbal remedies on the outside can have a dramatic effect. In addition to these herbs, make sure to consume foods that help improve your digestive health by containing natural bacteria.

9. Stop Smoking

The Dermatological Institute in Rome, Italy, found that smokers have a higher occurrence of acne than non-smokers. It’s often called inflammatory smoker’s acne because of its origin.

Smoking draws essential oxygen and water from the skin, which can make it dehydrated and age quickly. Now it seems there’s even more reason to stop smoking since it only makes clogged pores and pimples more of a problem.

10. Use A Natural Toner

Toners are great for the skin, and you can make a great one with stuff you have at the time. All you need is a small spray bottle. Fill the bottle with two cups of filtered water that you’ve boiled and is still warm.

Then add one-fourth of a cup of apple cider vinegar to the mix. Spritz this mixture on your face after you’ve thoroughly cleansed it. It will not only reduce your breakouts but will also give your skin a healthy glow.

11. Quit Picking Your Zits

Are you a pimple popper? If you know how to cleanse your face properly, then there’s no need to pick at these pimples. When you squeeze and pinch zits, you’re introducing bacteria to them. A simple pimple might become infected and even scar if you don’t leave it alone.

If you find that you must pick the white head off it, make sure you have clean hands to avoid the transfer of bacteria.

12. Exfoliate Regularly

Exfoliation is good for the skin because it gets all the dirt and impurities out of your pores. You don’t need to buy some fancy product that costs a mint when you can use sugar to get those pores clean.

Rub the sugar deep into the pores in a circular motion with warm water. When you have everything clean, then you should spritz your toner on the skin.

13. Get Out in The Sunshine

Is there anything that spending 20 minutes in the sunshine can’t fix? When it comes to a face full of acne, the sun can help to dry these imperfections from the skin. The healing properties of the sun come from the vitamin D that it pumps into your body.

Make sure that you don’t overexpose your face, and you need to use natural sunlight and not a tanning bed.

14. Wash Makeup Off Before Bed

If you fall into bed and don’t wash your makeup off from the morning, you can cause acne problems. Your makeup can get into the pores and clog them, which causes an inflammatory reaction.

It’s essential to remove all the makeup as well as dirt and grime from the day. When you go to bed with your makeup on, then you’re just asking for pimple issues, especially if you have acne-prone skin.

15. Embrace Makeup Free Skin

There’s nothing more beautiful than someone who has a radiant glow and doesn’t need makeup. Less is more these days, as things have certainly changed to a more natural, environmentally-friendly consumer.

Women across the country embrace the natural look, and it could be better for your skin health. Did you know that many makeup products have oils in them that only aggravate skin conditions? If you have uneven tones and don’t feel comfortable going out of the house without makeup on, you should try a mineral-based product and read the ingredients.

acne-proneFinal Thoughts on Calming Your Acne-Prone Skin

Having acne-prone skin is a problem that people of all ages experience. You can have blemishes on your back, shoulders, face, hairline, stomach, and breasts. Really, there isn’t any area on the body that is immune from this inflammatory condition.

Thankfully, there are things that you can do to help improve your skin and lessen the blemishes. With a few scientifically proven habits, you can use nature to heal your skin. The best part is that you don’t have to break the bank or visit a dermatologist to get the help you need.

When you learn to wash your face more, clean out those clogged pores, stop popping and touching your zits, then you can improve your skin’s overall health. If you start following some of these tips, then you will begin to see a difference right away.

10 Behaviors That Teach Children Valuable Life Lessons

What valuable life lessons are you passing on to your children?

A child is a precious gift entrusted in your care. You have 18 years to mold and make them into excellent human beings capable of living their life. However, it’s only common that you make a few mistakes along the way as no one is a perfect parent.

One of the most valuable teaching lessons that you can give your child is by letting them see you be an upstanding citizen and a model human being. If you tell a lie, then your kids will think it’s okay to lie. You want them to leave the nest being well-rounded and ready to tackle the world.

It’s a long journey from birth to graduation, but you must be prepared to teach them valuable life lessons that will mold them and make them more compassionate people. If you can teach them to be truthful, show compassion for others, have good money management, and always respect others, then you’ve done your job as a parent.

Ten Valuable Life Lessons Taught Through Your Behavior

valuable life lessonsYou only get one chance to raise your children. You will look back many years from now and think of all the things you could have done differently. Alas, it will be too late for you to do anything. Thankfully, here is a list of valuable life lessons you can teach your children by modeling them in your actions.

1. Honesty Is Always the Best Policy

Your children listen to every word that comes out of your mouth. They hear you call in sick to work when you aren’t ill at all, and they wonder why you tell them they must be honest when you’re not always truthful. Remember, a half-truth is still a whole lie, and they’re watching you as their example for how-to live-in life.

2. Everyone Likes to See Good Manners

If you’re going to tell your children that they must say things like “please and thank you,” then you’re going to need to say those things too. To the waitress who hasn’t brought refills because she’s been slammed, you must still be polite. Teach your children that there’s no reason for bad manners or nastiness.

When it comes to the critical stuff like not talking with your mouth full, elbows off the table, and how to effectively use a napkin, they will thank you for it when they’re dating.

3. Developing Healthy Eating Habits Is Essential

Since you are the first person that introduces food to your child, you’re the one responsible for making sure they eat healthily. When they start on solid foods at six months, you must show them the importance of a well-balanced diet filled with fruits and vegetables.

Many parents make one mistake because they try to appease their children with food or bribe them with sweets. Never bake your kids a pan of brownies or cookies when they’re feeling down, as you’re teaching them to turn to food for their emotions. It’s a big responsibility to teach your kids how to develop a healthy relationship with food.

4. Respect Will Get You Far in Life

Respect is essential to the advancement of a variety of other personality traits. Respecting authority, elders, and even themselves is a facet of being a good person. When someone is respectful, it helps them have empathy for others and a good feeling of self-worth.

When children are respectful of each other’s differences, they can learn to co-exist peacefully without typecasting from religion, race, or social status. Other aspects that fall under this life lesson are having self-control, showing kindness to others, essential cleanliness, and showing basic human respect to everyone.

5. You Can’t Always Win

There will be days when you’re on top of the world, and then there are days when you’re so low that rock bottom seems to be your new dwelling. It’s hard to accept failures, but if you were perfect in everything you do, then there would be no valuable life lessons to learn.

Your children need to know that they should congratulate the winning team, even if it isn’t their group. No one likes a sore loser, and whether you win or lose, it’s all about having fun in the game. They can apply these valuable life lessons to many aspects of their life.

6. The Importance of Good Time Management

Being a good steward of time comes naturally to some people, but others struggle with this for life. Are you a parent that’s always running late and can’t seem to ever be on time anywhere? Your children are watching these habits, and they too will think it’s acceptable to show up late.

Managing your time effectively is a tool that is learned from an incredibly young age. This practice will help them to increase their focus as well as enhance their decision-making skills.

teach empathy

Here are tips on teaching your children to become more empathetic.

7. Responsibility Teaches Pride in Ownership

If you buy your children a toy, they may or may not be responsible for its care. However, if they pay for that tool from the money they worked for, they may look different. Children need chores and things to do besides video games and playing that help them learn responsibility.

If they have a pet cat, dog, or rabbit, you shouldn’t do all the work for them. Get them involved in most aspects of taking care of that pet. It will show them that something else is depending on them for their next meal and companionship, and this is a life lesson they will carry with them all their days.

8. The Ability to Forgive Brings Peace of Mind

There will be many opportunities in life to practice forgiveness. While it seems like it’s all about the other person, forgiveness is about yourself. When you learn to forgive those, who have done you wrong, you realize the bad energy from holding you back.

Additionally, there will come times where you will need to be the one asking for someone to forgive you, and you will want good karma to come back around.

9. Having Compassion Makes You A Good Human Being

Teach your children to hold the door for people, to help carry the groceries of an older person, or to give someone a hug who’s having a bad day. There is never anything wrong with showing compassion to others, as it just makes you a better person.

10. Learning New Things Can Be Fun

While you know school can be tedious, show them that learning can be fun. Do little science experiments and tricks that teach them how fantastic the world is and all the things they can do when they dedicate themselves to learning. The love of education is something you can foster from preschool on.

11. Always Save For a Rainy Day

Children naturally tend to either hoard their money or want to blow it as soon as they get it. As a parent, it’s your job to teach them about the rainy-day fund. Get your kids involved in things where they can make money from an early age.

They need a savings account to help them manage and know the importance of putting back funds. Did you know that many parents put back birthday and Christmas money and by the time a child is 16 they can buy a new car? Budgeting must begin early in life.

12. You Won’t Get Anywhere Without Hard Work

If you hand everything to your child on a silver platter, then they will never learn the value of hard work. They need to work to support themselves in life. You can foster the belief that everything will be handed to them. You can teach the dollar’s value by giving them chores and earning money or another incentive program.

They will be required to work from when they graduate high school until they are 65-70 years old. While you want them to be a kid and have fun, you also remember that this is training for the real world. It takes plenty of hard work and dedication to get anywhere in this life, and they need to see an example in you.

valuable life lessonsFinal Thoughts on Teaching Valuable Life Lessons to Your Children

Parents have a significant job in rearing their children for the future. Don’t be too hard on yourself as you’re only human and make many mistakes along the way. You are the entrusted guides who have been given the tremendous responsibility to make sure your children can navigate life well.

Your kids need wisdom, knowledge, financial understanding, morals, compassion, and a whole list of other things to make them good human beings. When you teach them valuable life lessons that they can apply to everyday situations, you will empower them to be upright and successful. Seeing your kids thrive as adults makes the difficult journey to get them to that point worth it.

Study Finds Link Between Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoporosis

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and osteoporosis are two of the most painful diseases that older adults often suffer from. While these conditions are quite different, they can sometimes get lumped into the same category. This is especially true for people who suffer from them; to these people, their joints ache, and that’s all that matters.

While it’s true, they are different diseases. Researchers recently found evidence that shows the correlations between these two diseases. This research is in the early stages, and nothing definitive has been set in stone. However, the study is promising and worth the medical community’s consideration. Keep reading to find out more about the details of this research and need-to-know information about both diseases.

The Details of the Research

Researchers from the Department of Hematology at The Third Affiliated Hospital of Wenzhou Medical University conducted a meta-analysis of 13 studies concerning rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis. These preexisting studies were pulled from several databases, including PubMed, EMBASE, and OVID, and the meta-analysis was conducted using PRISMA standards. The results of this meta-analysis were published in the August 2017 issue of the journal Medicine.

rheumatoid arthritisParticipants that were included in the study were selected based on a diagnosis of RA. People of all races, genders, and ages were included, and there was a control group of people without a diagnosis of RA or any other bone disease.

The primary focus of the study was to identify the correlation between rheumatoid arthritis and bone fractures. They categorized these in three intervals: risk ratio (RR), odds ratio (OR), and hazard ratio (HR).

Researchers accounted for factors such as vitamin deficiencies, BMI, smoking habits, previous fractures, and more. In the end, the results of the survey showed that the risk ratio of people with RA versus those without was 2.25:1. That means that people with RA are more than twice as likely to develop osteoporosis.

The study outcomes

Even more surprising was the fact that the study showed that people who suffer from RA and then develop osteoporosis had a higher risk of developing hip and vertebral fractures than those who don’t have RA. Another statistic from the study was that women who had RA were more likely to develop osteoporosis than men, but the risk for both groups was around the same percentage. This led researchers to believe that osteoporosis’s increased risk due to RA is an independent risk factor.

This study’s results shine a light on a connection that doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the medical world. While there is no known way to prevent RA, you can take steps to decrease your risk of developing the disease. The study indicates that an increased effort in RA prevention may increase the prevention of osteoporosis.

What is the Difference Between Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoporosis?

Both diseases tend to develop in people as they get older. They both are characterized by pain, deformities, and they are both incurable chronic diseases. With so many similarities, it can be easy to confuse the two, mainly because they both generally cause about the same level of decline in the patient’s quality of life.

Despite having similar effects on a person, these two diseases are entirely different at the core. They are caused by various issues in the body and start in completely different ways. Although they both end in pain for the afflicted person, they cause pain in other ways also.

Rheumatoid Arthritis

RA is a disease that develops over time. It starts by affecting smaller joints first, such as fingers and toes. Eventually, it spreads to larger areas of the body. It can cause different symptoms in different people, and the symptoms may come and go.

RA is an autoimmune disorder. This means that a person’s immune system attacks itself. In this case, the immune system attacks the synovium, which is the lining that surrounds your joints.

The disease eventually wears the synovium down, causing the ligaments that hold your joints to get weak. This can lead to your bones scraping against each other and inflammation of the ligaments. The ligaments will eventually lose their shape, which is what causes disfigurement.

RA is often found in the joints, but it’s not out of the ordinary to affect other parts of the body. Some common areas include the skin, eyes, and lungs.

Osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is a disease of the bones. It happens when a person loses too much bone mass, and the body can’t make enough new bone mass to replace it. As a result, the bones become weak and brittle, leading to an increased risk of fractures.

The bones eventually become so weak that actions that cause even minor stress can fracture a bone. A sneeze, a light bump against a wall, or lifting something the wrong way can all become too hazardous for someone with osteoporosis. The disease also makes it difficult for your bones to heal after a fracture.

As horrific as these fractured bones sound, this isn’t the worst of the disease. Older people who suffer from these fractured bones often lose some or all their mobility. Complications from fractures can make matters worse, even to the extent that they die soon after.

pop memeStatistics on Both Diseases

*These statistics were provided by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the International Osteoporosis Foundation (IOF).

  • By 2040, the CDC estimates that around 78 million adults in the U.S. suffer from some type of arthritis.
  • Out of the total population diagnosed with arthritis in 2015, over 40 percent of them were Caucasian. The second-largest afflicted race is African-Americans – about 6.1 million.
  • On average, a little more than one out of every four women reported having arthritis.
  • In 2010, it was reported that around 10.2 million adults ages 50 and older had osteoporosis.
  • Out of the 10.2 million people, 80 percent of them were women.

Risk Factors, Signs, and Symptoms of Both Diseases

Both diseases can affect anyone regardless of their race, gender, or socioeconomic status. However, there are risk factors that can make it much more likely for a person to develop one or both diseases. It’s not surprising that some of these risk factors are shared by both disorders.

Risk Factors

Some of the shared risk factors of both diseases include age, family history of the disorders, smoking, and poor nutrition (with RA, it’s obesity more than merely poor nutrition). However, one of the most significant shared risk factors is being a female. While both diseases affect a considerable number of men each year, they affect women more than men.

In the case of osteoporosis, being a female can cause several conditions that lead to osteoporosis. For example, low estrogen is one of these conditions. This can occur with menopause, surgery, or chemotherapy. Amenorrhea, which is the loss of the menstrual period in a woman’s younger years, can also lead to osteoporosis.

There aren’t many other risk factors for rheumatoid arthritis except environmental factors. Other risk factors for osteoporosis are chronic diseases such as arthritis (which is the main point of this article), hyperthyroidism, hyperparathyroidism, or hepatitis C.

Prevention of Both Diseases

Science and medicine are a long way away from figuring out how to prevent these diseases altogether. However, certain lifestyle factors can help reduce your risk of developing them. As the study from the Third Affiliated Hospital of Wenzhou Medical University researchers suggests, you could focus on preventing rheumatoid arthritis. At the same time, you’re young, essentially handling two birds with one stone, as the saying goes.

Some of the most important steps you can take to reduce your risk of rheumatoid arthritis include the following:

  • Not smoking or stop smoking as soon as possible.
  • Exercise more and lose weight.
  • Take steps to reduce or eliminate your exposure to environmental contaminants such as asbestos, silica, and other hazardous chemicals.
  • Get treatment as soon as possible if you begin experiencing RA symptoms. This can prevent or slow the condition down from getting worse.

In addition to this, taking steps to maintain excellent bone health throughout your life can fight against osteoporosis. Intaking enough calcium is one area that many people fall short in. You can also do what you can to maintain healthy hormone levels, exercise more, and become too thin.

rheumatoid arthritisFinal Thoughts on the Connection Between Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoporosis

The study from the Third Affiliated Hospital of Wenzhou Medical University researchers leads to a promising lead on getting a handle on osteoporosis. Doctors have suspected a link between RA and osteoporosis for a long time. But this study finally provides tangible evidence of this. The hope is that this study is enough to launch a more in-depth assessment of the correlation between these two diseases.

It may take quite a while, but if researchers continue to make discoveries like this one, answers to these diseases’ solutions may finally reveal themselves. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself as much as possible so you don’t become one of the RA or osteoporosis statistics.

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