“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.” – Bo Bennett
We’ve all been rejected in some way, whether by someone we asked to the homecoming dance in high school, by an employer we really wanted to work for, or even by our parents if they didn’t agree with our ideas.
Many people fear rejection, not only because it hurts, but because they put all their worth in others opinions of them. If this sounds like you, read on to find out how you can release the fear of rejection once and for all.
10 Ways to Release Fear of Rejection
1. Realize that your value doesn’t diminish just because others fail to see your worth.
You set your own value based on your thoughts about yourself – you set the stage for everything that happens in your life, and only YOU can decide to let others influence your emotions. Not everyone will like you; in fact, some of them might have intentions to tear you down from the get-go, whether out of jealousy or anger. However, you have to keep your head up anyway, and know that as long as you recognize your own worth, no one else can ever cast shadows over you.
2. Avoid conjuring up stories in your head about how a future event will play out.
How often do you play out scenarios in your head before they even happen? And, more often than not, the stories probably take a negative turn, leaving you feeling anxious, hopeless, and out of control. According to Psychology Today, there’s actually an explanation for those negative voices in your head, though.
Melanie Greenburg, Ph.D., says, “Psychologists believe these voices are residues of childhood experiences—automatic patterns of neural firing stored in our brains and dissociated from the memory of the events they are trying to protect us from.”
So, getting rid of those negative voices trying to warn you of perceived danger might seem difficult, but try to anchor yourself in the present moment and avoid sinking into the darker depths of childhood memories. Most fears develop there, but no longer have relevance in our lives today.
3. Understand that rejection only exists to steer you to the right path.
You know Oprah, only one of the most successful talk show hosts in history? Yeah, she actually got fired from her first job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.” And where did that lead her? Only to having her own talk show, magazine, and television channel, as well as authoring books and becoming one of the most successful female entrepreneurs in history.
Don’t ever give in to rejection; it can never win as long as you have the mental fortitude and passion to keep going.
4. Go deeper within to better understand yourself.
We often become affected by rejection because we don’t truly know ourselves. We have no sense of identity, and no connection to the cosmic world. When you develop more self-knowledge and understanding, you will have a better sense of your purpose here on Earth, and you will realize that others only reject what they can’t comprehend. So, rejection isn’t your problem; it’s theirs.
5. Stop seeking others for approval.
We reiterate this a lot on our website, but that’s only because approval-seeking behavior exists almost everywhere today. Most of us fall victim to it from time to time, but we can easily put an end to it by putting more worth in our own ideas and opinions than those of other people.
No one knows better than you how you should live your life, so of course, no one but you can unlock the door to your own destiny.
6. When you face rejection, do something positive immediately after.
Anytime you encounter rejection, put a positive spin on it by boosting your self-esteem. Go hang out with friends and family who love you, practice positive affirmations, or go out and play in nature; just do something to make your mind associate rejection with a more positive experience. That way, you won’t feel as crushed next time rejection comes knocking at your door.
7. Stop thinking of the worst-case scenario.
Our mind loves to come up with solutions to any and all problems, even if they don’t exist yet in the real world. However, you can take control of your mind by living in the here and now, and attracting more positive experiences into your life by first putting them into your head.
Whatever you think about the majority of the time will eventually happen, so try to instill more positive stories in your mind to replace the negative ones.
8. Realize that certain people or events just aren’t meant to be part of your journey.
Not everyone has a place in your spiritual journey here on Earth; the girl you have a crush on might just not be right for you, or not right now, anyway. Remember, life doesn’t always give you what you want, but it ALWAYS gives you what you need.
9. Work on loving yourself more.
Fear of rejection stems from a need for assurance and acceptance; if you don’t feel secure with yourself, you will always go to the next option – seeking it from others. It might seem difficult, but it all boils down to loving yourself unconditionally, as you are right at this moment. Make loving decisions for yourself, and develop a regular self-love practice.
Before you know it, your reliance on using other people for love will diminish, and you will actually be able to share all the love in your heart with others.
10. Start thinking of what you DO want, not what you don’t want.
Instead of focusing on everything that might go wrong, focus on what can go RIGHT. Your mind believes whatever you tell it to, so start believing in the good things coming. The more you dwell on rejection, the more you actually invite it into your life.
However, the more you give your attention to abundance, love, compassion, and connection, the more you will attract those positive forces into your life.